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Do Narcissists DESERVE love? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be answering the question, do
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  narcissists deserve love? Are they deserving of your love
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  specifically? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  So boom, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes. This is the question of the day,
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  the question of the year, even the question of all questions
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  that I tend to get a lot in my comment sections in different
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  places and whatnot. Do narcissists deserve love?
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  And is is this controversial? Is it one of those controversial
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  things that is border? So do I think that narcissists
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  deserve love? Yes, but I myself am a diagnosed
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  narcissist. I always think that there are
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  string, there should be some strings attached to said love
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  that you are giving this person, you know, I just feel like are
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  they deserving of love? Yes, under the correct
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  conditions. Under the conditions that
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  they're treating you well, like I so just for me, if they're
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  treating you badly, it's hard as hell to say that this person is
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  deserving of your love. You know what I mean?
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  Could they treat you badly and be deserving of your love?
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  Sometimes it can fall into that space, but that also requires
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  you not to be close to them that that requires you to be away
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  from it. That requires you to, you know,
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  create some distance between yourself.
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  But God do I truly do believe that you can love someone from a
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  distance. Like this person doesn't need to
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  be in front of you for you to have to for you to have love for
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  them. You know what I mean?
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  So I do believe that narcissistic people are
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  deserving of love as long as they're treating you well, you
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  know, in close proximity to you. Like people who love, let's say
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  this right here, people who love you are not out here
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  intentionally trying to hurt you, are not out here
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  intentionally trying to ruin your life or do some damage to
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  you, do some kind of bring some type of harm into your life,
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  right? Nobody who loves you truly, it's
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  trying to do that to you. So this is one of the things
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  that a lot of people face when I'm I'm talking to them.
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  I do my one-on-one coaching when I'm talking to my groups and
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  whatnot. This is a lot of the the thing
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  that pops up a lot believe. Are they deserving of love?
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  I mean, yeah, as long as they treat you a certain type of way.
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  But just because they're deserving of love doesn't mean
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  that they're deserving of this relationship, of their
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  relationship. They don't Just because they are
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  deserving, they might be deserving of love, doesn't mean
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  that they are deserving of access to you.
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  Yeah, 'cause I feel like love does not always require access.
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  Like if I just because I have love for you or, or I've loved
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  you in the past, doesn't mean that you have, you have to have
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  this always have to have access to my life.
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  Hell no. To me it actually means the
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  opposite. To hell with you.
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  I ain't dealing with this. What the hell?
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  What the hell do I look like consistently dealing with this
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  toxicity or this, you know, the relationship dynamic of how it's
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  playing out and whatnot. What the hell does that look
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  like in a lot of these spaces? Like, you know, I mean, like,
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  what does it look like for you to continue consistently or
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  continuously have to deal with a toxic, narcissistic, abusive
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  person on a consistent basis? What does that, what does that
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  look like for you? Why do you have to do that?
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  Because you have love for this person you know, and
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  narcissistic people toxic against people, narcissist or
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  going to try to make you always think that they are deserving of
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  your love and they're always going to make you think that
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  love equals access. Oh, because you love me and I
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  love you 'cause I told you I loved you, that means I deserve
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  access to your life. Hell no, that is not the case.
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  It should not be the case. Again, these are just my
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  thoughts. Y'all are you?
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  You're more than welcome to think differently.
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  Well, Lee, I just happen to think differently on this thing.
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  Perfect. That's perfectly fine for you,
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  you know, but for me, the way my mind works, I'm just thinking
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  like they have to do things. They always have to, you know,
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  my, my, my new phrase is update their resume.
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  They have to be able to update their relationship resume.
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  They have to be able to update and explain, you know, and
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  improve why they are deserving of your love and also deserving
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  of your access. Because because again, love does
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  not always equal access. Just because I love you or have
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  love for you does not mean you deserve to be a part of my life
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  anymore. Again, you can love someone from
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  a distance, you don't have to allow them a space in your life
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  because you love them. Hell no.
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  This is the thing right here. Y'all y'all need to stop letting
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  people weaponize the word love against you.
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  The word love don't mean nothing if there's no actions behind it.
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  Because a narcissist will tell you that they love you but they
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  treat you like like treat you like crap.
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  Oh I love you so much you do. You mean the world to me.
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  You dis you that, you dis you that, but they treat you like
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  crap. They aren't doing anything for
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  you. They are not putting any effort.
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  They're not putting any work. They're just telling you that
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  they love you. I love you.
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  You know I love you. I've always loved you.
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  I've never stopped loving you. Then show me you have to let me
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  back into your life. Hell no I don't.
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  Show me that you love me by working on yourself and staying
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  away from me. Show me that you love me by
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  respecting my boundaries. Show me that you are deserving
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  of access to me by being able to leave me the hell alone.
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  OK, I'll leave you alone, but I can't promise how long.
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  Then you don't respect me. Are they deserving of love?
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  Hell no, Not if they don't or not respecting you.
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  Why the hell would they be deserving of love when they are
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  not respecting you as a person Without they're not respecting
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  you as a human being. Why the hell would they be
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  deserving of your love then? You see what I'm saying?
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  People who love you respect you. People who love you show you
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  that they love you through their actions, through their
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  consistent actions. They are they deserving of your
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  love through their actions, through their through their
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  actions, through their behaviors.
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  Somebody who loves you all isn't all here constantly trying to
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  cheat on you. You see what I'm saying?
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  Somebody who loves you isn't trying to put you through hell.
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  Somebody who loves you isn't trying to do this or do that.
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  Somebody who loves you is going to show you that they love you.
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  Somebody who who The Who is somebody who is deserving of
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  your love is going to show you that they are deserving of your
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  love. I don't y'all again, I don't
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  give a damn about the word love. I could care.
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  I couldn't. I could not care less about the
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  word love. You know what I'm saying?
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  I could not care less about the word love if there's no actions
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  behind it, like I say, you could.
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  Do they deserve love? Yeah, they can deserve love for
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  you. But you?
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  You. What about you?
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  Don't you deserve love as well? Are you deserving the love as
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  well? Are they showing you that they
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  love you? No.
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  It's like I don't think they deserve love.
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  Isn't if it's not being reciprocated, I don't give
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  again. I don't give a damn what they
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  are saying about love. I don't give a damn that they
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  they're telling you that they love you to your face.
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  I love you so much. Do what you.
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  You not showing me this pain that you putting me through is
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  not showing me that you love me. It's just showing me that you
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  have the ability to hurt me consistently.
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  It's just showing me that you are weaponizing my compassion
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  and my love for you against me. You're making me feel guilty for
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  wanting to leave you. You're making me feel bad for
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  holding you accountable. You're playing the victim to
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  situations and circumstances that you have created.
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  What the hell kind of what the hell is that?
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  You are playing the victim. The circumstances and situations
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  that you have manufactured. How the hell did this happen?
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  How you deserve it of my love. Update your resume.
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  You You may have, you may have once been deserving of my love,
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  but you are no longer deserving of said love.
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  You just are not it it it can change.
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  Y'all love can change your amount of love, your your your
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  the amount of the amount of love you put into this person this
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  into this relationship that can change the amount of love that
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  they deserve can change. You see what I'm saying again,
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  y'all might not agree with this video and yeah, I'm and that's
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  perfectly fine with because we're not going to always agree.
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  The thing is resolving conflict. You just said The thing is
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  resolving conflicts in a healthy way.
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  We can have a you know, just a disagreement in this space right
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  here about our thoughts in about narcissism deserve love cause so
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  many people are probably just going to have an adamant no,
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  hell no. Lee, what the hell are you
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  talking about? Ambassadors ain't deserving of
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  love. Not these evil demons are not
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  deserving of love. These spawn of Satan Satan's
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  offspring are not deserving of love.
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  Lee, what the hell are you talking about?
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  Lee, I used to have respect for you, but now you don't cross the
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  you don't cross the line, Lee, you don't cross the damn line.
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  I always bet you no more. Yeah, but that's what people
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  will be saying. Yeah.
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  I, I get the, I get comments like that sometimes, but these
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  are the spaces that y'all will fall into.
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  And I look, I'm trying my hardest because I want y'all to
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  win. I'm just trying to let you know,
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  Yeah, they could be deserving of love, but don't let that be the
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  deciding factor whether or not you, you you choose to take this
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  person back into your life. Well, Lisa did.
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  They're they're they're narcissistic robot resetting,
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  stutter overload, slow down your toys, reboot completed.
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  Don't let, like I said, just because they might be deserving
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  of love, don't let them weaponize it against you.
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  Don't let you don't let don't let this be the thing that gets
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  you back into the relationship. Well, Lee made AV about them
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  deserving love and he said yes, under certain circumstances.
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  So I should go back. Lee didn't say that.
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  Lee said just because they might be deserving of love doesn't
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  mean you have to allow them access to your life.
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  You deserve love too. You deserve more love from not
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  only from that, not only from not.
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  You deserve more love not only from the universe, in the world,
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  but you deserve more love for yourself.
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  They can't deserve more love from you than you deserve from
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  yourself. Let that sit, let that fester
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  with you right there. Let that sit with you.
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  Let that sit in your, let that sit with your soul real quick.
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  They are not more deserving more love from you than you are from
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  you. What about the self love?
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  What about you deserving love? What about you deserving
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  compassion? What about you deserving a
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  chance? What about you?
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  You know what I mean? I just want y'all to win.
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  I promise you. I want y'all to win so damn bad.
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  I really, really do. You know what I mean?
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  I really want y'all to win. Like beyond, like this.
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  It's damn near immeasurable how much I want y'all to win.
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  Because it's crazy, because it this, this world right here.
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  They will use the fact that you that you love them against you.
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  Somebody who uses the fact that you love them against you does
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  not deserve your love, did not deserve access to your life, did
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  not deserve your housing or your money or to clap some cheeks,
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  they don't deserve that. They don't deserve that.
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  Well, Lee, I, I, Lee, I could have told you that from the
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  beginning. I could have just said no.
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  You could have just said no from the beginning of Lee and save
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  yourself 10 minutes. You just, you just rambled on,
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  Lee. You could have just said no.
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  Them bastards are not deserving of love 'cause I would have just
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  agreed with you straight up. You see what I'm saying?
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  But that happens to so many people in these spaces.
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  What about you? The next time you asking
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  yourself that question, do they deserve love?
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  You can answer the question, yes, But what about me?
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  But what about me? Just because, and also just
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  because they didn't they might deserve love, doesn't mean I
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  have to allow them back into my life.
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  It actually means the opposite. They can deserve love.
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  I can love them from distance. Look, look, look.
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  Yeah, I love travels. Love you look, love travels at
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  the speed of light. That love might.
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  Love might travel faster than the speed of light.
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  You see what I'm saying? Love travels.
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  That's what I'm saying. I'm rooting for y'all.
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  I want y'all to win. I want y'all to win as much as
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  possible. I want you to have the life that
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  you deserve, the life that you know that you didn't think was
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  possible. And it might not be with this
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  person that you're with right now.
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  And it might suck. They might, you might suck to
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  hear. But this person that might have
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  previously been deserving of your love may not be deserving
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  of may not be so deserving of it anymore, you know, Anyway,
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  y'all, let me hop off this thing.
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  DC workshop, my first workshop of the year.
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  It was on September the 14th, 2024.
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  I don't know when you're watching the video.
• 11:42
  September the 14th, 2024 Washington DC in person
• 11:46
  workshop, limited space. The link will be in the
• 11:49
  description of the video. It'd be it'd be in the
• 11:52
  description of the video and it'll be the top pinned comment.
• 11:55
  Get registered. Get registered for that, y'all.
• 11:57
  It's extremely is yeah, it's extremely cheap.
• 11:59
  It's a four hour event immersive.
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  Get to meet me some my team is going to be an amazing event.
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  Washington DC September the 14th from 12:00 PM to 4:00 PM Look we
• 12:08
  go we go get it in anyway y'all I thank you so much for tuning
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  in. I really truly appreciate every
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  single morning. Y'all as always, hit the
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  subscribe button and mental this is out peace.
• 12:18
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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• 12:36
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 12:38
  video. Peace.