Latest / Books4Guys / You're Not Too Old and It's Not Too Late: Chad Betz on Success, Purpose, and Reinventing Your Life

Transcript

You're Not Too Old and It's Not Too Late: Chad Betz on Success, Purpose, and Reinventing Your Life · Books4Guys

• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: From up there?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I uh I was born in Bridgeport and now I'm in Milford.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I've never been to that specific area.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Not missing much.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Wife and I are thinking about maybe a fall trip up to the Northeast, as we've never done that before, like September, October time frame.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's the time to do it.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: You get the leaves and that, and it's uh it's that's the nice piece.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, cool.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: We're big beach people.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're like, man, we gotta do something different.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, let's let's let's go somewhere different.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm a big lobster roll guy, so I'm like, you know, let's let's hit it, let's hit up there and and do some uh bouncing around.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good place to do that too.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: You got both kinds.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: You get the true lobster roll at the butter, and you get the lobster salads, whichever floats your uh boat, you can have options for each.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I probably do both.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: But Chad, no, man, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast today.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Is we've we've had this scheduled for for quite a while and uh been looking forward to it.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you've got your book behind you.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I wanted to make sure I pronounced the entire title of your new book, which is An Authentic Success.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're not too old and it's not too late.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And uh man, I I love your message.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've actually I've had I've had a discussion around this topic recently, and uh, so I think it's a really good message that you're sending.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: But Chad, for for a moment here, I'd love for you to to take over and talk just a little bit about your background, your career, and and what what led you to wanting to write this book and and and the message you're really trying to put behind it?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I've been in financial services for most of my career.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: And this book probably started my head about 15 years ago without me realizing it.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was I was sitting in my car after just a 10-hour day and looking ahead of me at the wall, thinking, I'm a failure.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: What have I really done with my life?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if you looked at me from the outside, I had a successful team, I was a manager, I have a family, I was making money, things are successful.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't feel it.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like a failure.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: And from there, I did a lot of reflection and stepping back and trying to figure out why I feel like a failure.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then working through, I saw that I really wasn't focused on my definition of success.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: I was doing things that society told me to do, social media told me to do, my friends had expectations of me doing.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of really doing what I thought, I was following theirs.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: And once I realized that and I started pivoting over to my definition of success, I found that I truly found success.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Not just a picture of it for someone else to look at.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about that feeling for a second, Chad, because I've I've gone through that before where I I'm doing well and my friends, same thing, doing well.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: But we all have this kind of, you know, I have a friend group that thankfully I talk about, you know, we bounce things off each other.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember having this conversation, like, dude, like what are we doing?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is our purpose?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we're all doing well, but like I feel like I'm missing something.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And and kind of a similar conversation.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: It was like, well, man, what do you what do you like to do?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Are you doing what you love?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Are deep do you what is your purpose?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: What are you, what's your vision?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want to see yourself doing?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when kind of like Books for Guys really was born.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: And now there's this huge passion and a wake up, and I still love my my full-time job too, where there's just been a like an injection of energy and passion.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm assuming you probably experienced something similar, and you probably, as you work with people, see that light bulb of of life kind of get a fresh a breath air in a sense.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: But talk a little bit about the feeling of of figuring it out.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a revelation.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny because we guys are a bit stubborn, aren't we?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we uh we get on that path and then it's not working.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: So what do we do?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: We work harder at that path and try to just juice it for what we can get out of it.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it really takes a lot to step back and and reflect.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny, someone uh recommended I read Brene Brown and uh about your vulnerability.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, but I I read it and it was good, and it's it she had a good quote there too, because it's mostly for women, but uh they she said that you know they if society wants men to be vulnerable, until we are, and then they don't want that.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, we do have to force ourselves to open up that we know we're not an island.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: And you mentioned something that is great.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: You have kind of a mastermind group, you know, people you trust, uh, you have each other's interests at heart, like-minded, but not fixed-minded, where you could bounce ideas off each other.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: And that is a great way to do it.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, if we're sitting in isolation and we're just fitting, you know, trying to fit in and working towards that goal and that stubborn path, sometimes it takes that independent third party to kind of smack us in the head and give us that wake-up call, say, no what?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: There is something else.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: But it is our responsibility to find what that is because what success means for you doesn't mean the same as it does for me and or for someone else.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: So we really that's a very personal thing to really dig down into.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I love that.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I I it's so important.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I'm blessed.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a good group and we do, we challenge each other and we appreciate the accountability because it helps us all level up.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so I I can't preach that enough.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: But Chad, specifically, as you I mean, you're a speaker, you're a consultant, you're working through this with individuals and people.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: What are some things, some high-level things that you start with when you go into helping someone discover their path?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: What are some things that that you really hone in on to get the process started and to get people moving in the direction they need to move in?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: I would say that you know, a success plan should be cafeteria style.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what do I mean by that?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: You should be able to take, I want this piece here, I want that piece here, because if we start to jump in all at once, we're gonna get overwhelmed.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: And we have responsibilities.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: If it was just so easy where we could just run off and chase our passions, it would be great.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: But we have families, we have bills, we have other responsibilities.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: So we have to keep that in mind and start doing things on the side, you know, making sure that, you know, experiment.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Does this work better?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Does this work better?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: And start building slowly but constantly.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then remembering that life is more than about a single goal.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: So we don't want to get again get fixated.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we have to remember, you know, our health's important.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: If we're not healthy, we won't have the energy to do that side thing along with the job.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Our relationships are important, making sure we spend time with family so there's no friction there.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: So again, we have time to focus in on that goal.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then we find that that goal starts to grow and you know, starts to build.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we could take away from efforts towards the job, put more towards the goal.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe that goal grows into something that's full-time.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it stays part-time, but we all have that little passion.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: We focus in on that project, that's something.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you had mentioned earlier, too, that gives us some purpose.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's that we're not just going through the motions, we're building with intention.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where it could be.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: And it may not even be a side project.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody may love their job and just wants to grow in that job.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: I know a lot of teachers like that.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: They, you know, they really want to be a great teacher, so they plant that seed and they grow within that arena.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it's all about how you define your success and building those little offshoots uh so you could build and take baby steps.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, because again, we have responsibilities and we can't just run off into the sunset.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I like that point you said about that, about people maybe not necessarily trying to do something completely different, but they're wanting to maximize their potential and what they currently do.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: I listened to a good podcast recently about that where there was an ultra successful CEO on there.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the question was, you know, why do you keep doing what you do?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you just keep going after more and more?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And he described it, and he's like, Well, my potential changes every time I I get to the previous goal that I set.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: So he's like, you know, you're constantly moving the goalpher and further, the more you accomplish and the more that you do.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you never, and if you can change your mindset to kind of realize you're never going to fully hit your full potential because you're always gonna change it as you improve yourself.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: But it keeps that purpose and that drive alive, knowing that, hey, you're gonna sharpen your skills and you're gonna find some new excitement, you're gonna accomplish that, and then you're gonna, then you're gonna set your sights on something else.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I like that you said that because he was talking about doing that over a long period of time and doing the same thing, not getting bored.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: He just wanted to maximize his potential and what he was doing.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I I'm assuming that could be transferred over to a teacher or a coach or a business leader of just wanting to maximize their potential in their given lane that they're trying to do that in.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's not everybody wants to be a CEO.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what is it that you truly want?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then build upon that.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny, you would uh, you know, just revisiting a little bit about you know what, you know, helping people making that step.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: There is one trap I find that a lot of people get stuck in.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: They get stuck in the mediocrity trap.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: Things are okay.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's why I don't need to change right now.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm okay.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you read a lot of these uh motivational books or uh these podcasts, you have these people hit rock bottom.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: What what happens if you don't hit rock bottom?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: What happens if things are okay?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: We have to be able to step back and say, you know, yes, I'm okay, but I'm worth so much more.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: And get out of the comfort of okay.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's really a trap that a lot of people fall into.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and Chad, actually, I talk about that a lot.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Just, you know, I've been in the recruiting space for uh a little over a decade now, and we see, you know, an example of that is we we see a lot of layoffs happening really the last two or three years.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: And the people I see struggle the most are the ones that were the most comfortable, thinking, you know, hey, I'm gonna be here till I retire.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: And they didn't spend a lot of time networking or or trying new things or expanding their skill set.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then when it, you know, when when something came to replace them, they they weren't able to to keep up.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that's one of the things I talk about with people all the time is like, hey, you've got a comfortability is a dangerous place to be.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's good, it feels good, but you've got to have that sense of urgency to to almost say, like, hey, this this won't last forever.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: I better stay on my toes and and continue to chip away at something, um, whether that be building more relationships with people, because you may, you may need those people down the road, and they may need you, and you've got to build that network up or or skill sets, continuous learning, continuous personal development.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I don't think that can be stated enough.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I love when people talk about that, like, hey, I want to, I'm never gonna know enough.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: I need to learn more, I need to read more, I need to to code more, I need to do work with AI more.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's all these things that we can improve on, and it's uh kind of a somewhat of a bulletproof way of keeping, you know, keeping you from being stagnant and getting caught up in that, you know, riptide of the negative that could come from it.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I 100% agree.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: That that mediocrity space, I think, is the most dangerous, even then the rock bottom.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: At least the rock bottom, you know, you gotta climb out.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: There's no somewhere to go.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: With with mediocrity, it just feels like a warm bath.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's just comfortable and I can stay here forever and I don't have to do anything.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then someone dumps a cold ice bucket on top of you before you do this.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: But that's that's the unfortunate piece that you know you go through and it's you know, it I I like to put it, kind of compare it to canoeing upriver.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: If you stop paddling, you start getting pushed back downriver.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: And as we get older, as we start getting into the rapids, where we do have to keep paddling more.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, to stay in shape, we have to paddle more, to stay relevant, we have to paddle more.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: And if we don't, then we kind of slide back into your point with employment.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: We could find ourselves that, you know, maybe we are out of date.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe we are overpaid for what we're doing because we're not keeping up for what you know we're expected to do.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe, yes, that younger person can come in and do the job better for less money.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: Now, whose fault is that?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we have to take responsibility for that and make sure that we are providing the best service for the money we're being paid for.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, no one is a recruiter, you know this, no one gives a job.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're trading services for a fee in an employer-employee relationship.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then you're looking at that, that it's the it's it's a transactional relationship, kind of gives it a different perspective where you know you really have to keep on top of your game in order to keep that client.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I was gonna you you perfectly transition to what I was gonna ask you next, Chad, because on your book it it says, you're not too old, it's not too late.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: What are some of the things because I've heard this when I've talked with professionals, you know, and they're they're they're in well seasoned into their career.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: The the amount of times I've heard it's passed me by, I'm too old, they're only gonna hire younger people.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like they they count themselves out before they even try.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And and I and I've got to be the one, I'm like, as the young man, I shouldn't be the one motivating you.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: You should be telling me, like, you know, hey man, get it together, young buck.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you got a lot to learn.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: But the it switches a lot.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I see this, and I and I want to just say, no, you have so much more to offer and give and and to do.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, what is your message specifically to those individuals?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, that caught my eye on your book.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just thinking back to my recruiting conversations on some of those individuals that maybe caught up in situations that they weren't planning on, and they almost it just knocks them so hard.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to, I've got, you know, again, I'm like, no, we we can find something, you can learn something.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: But how do you work with those individuals specifically?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And and how do you help them switch the mind a little bit so that they can get out of that rut?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's looking at what are the age stereotypes.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I I'm two years shy of 60.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that's uh, you know, where I am in my life.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I have to I'm paddling hard, you know.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna get to keep relevant.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: But what what are they?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, one, you know, is older people don't have the energy.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if you get winded walking up the stairs, it's hard to say you're a high-energy individual.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: So it's important to care about your health.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to be an Olympic athlete, go for a walk, just get into some semblance of shape so you have the energy to move forward.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: What's another one?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: They're behind the times technologically.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: Use AI, like you were saying before.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: Know the technology.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm amazed being in financial services, even today, after decades, how many people are not familiar enough with Microsoft Excel in finance?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: And it puts you behind, especially if you're older, because the expectation is you're not gonna know.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: And when you do know, it's you know, uh, it's surprising and it and it's a it's good, you know, it's a it's a good push.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: And the last is being set in your ways.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: Experience is a two-edged sword.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: One is great, you've experienced a lot and you know how to accomplish certain things, but it can get you full of inertia where you're you're pushing one direction and that's it.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: So we can strip away that inertia and only have the benefit of that experience that helps.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: So really addressing those stereotypes and building on that is the where I really start with older work.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: I love your first pillar there of worrying about your health because it doesn't matter.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Every single conversation I've had with high achievers or with people coaching individuals, it seems like the first thing stated is how important taking care of yourself is and making sure you're healthy, making sure you can do certain tasks and be available.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you can't you can't help others until you yourself is helped first.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of people struggle with that because we all want to be there for other people.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: We all want to be the one that's called upon to, you know, carry the load or be you do that stuff.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: But you can't do that unless you're you're taking care of yourself and focusing some time there too.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I I just think that's interesting that most everyone I've talked to starts with that pillar of health first over anything else.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's the foundation.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, just take the advice of the stewardess on the airline.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Before you help other people, put your mask on first.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: Because, like you said, if you're not, if you're sick, how are you gonna take care of your family?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if you don't have enough energy, how are you gonna put in those extra hours to get that project done?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and you can see, you know, I am not, you know, the most fit specimen.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I work out, but you can see I won't say no to a second piece of cake.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so you don't, again, you don't need to be an Olympic athlete, but you do need to have that energy.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: No, totally agree.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Chad, just a few more questions for you.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to know just from you personally, since kind of starting on your journey of of wanting to be an asset and wanting to be there for others and share this message and encourage people and speak and motivate.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: What's been the most what's been the mo the toughest part of that?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: And what's been the most rewarding part of that?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: The toughest part is realizing that people need to be open to it.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: You want to share and you want to, you know, you you just want to explode with all this information and helpfulness, but a lot of people aren't coachable.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: So if you start pushing on the people, they're just gonna get annoyed with you and it's not gonna help anybody.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: So stepping back and understanding that not everyone's gonna listen.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's the most frustrating piece because you can see I can help.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: The other piece is not to project my goals onto others.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, like we talked about before, your idea of success is not necessarily my idea of success.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: But that doesn't necessarily mean we can't help each other.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, as long as I listen and I use your ideas of success to help you in the coaching, that's where it is.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: So it's asking those questions, digging in, and keeping my personal stuff off to the side.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: I am not a consultant in this piece.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: I am a coach.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here to draw you out to make sure you are the best you could be by your definition, not by mine.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: I had a feeling you were going to go that route because I was sitting here thinking, I was like, man, it can be so frustrating when you see the potential in somebody and you just want to get it out of them.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, you can do this, but if they don't want it, if you if if they don't want it as bad as you do, there's nothing you can do.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And uh it's funny, my wife and I talk about this all the time because she's a uh personal trainer and nutrition coach, and she's like, they just won't listen.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: And and we actually read a good book on this last year, Mel Robbins, the Let Them Theory.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: It kind of talks about exactly that.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, you can't force what you want on someone else.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can be there for them and you but you and you can coach them, but you've got to do it in a way like they've gotta want it.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then that's when you can you can dig in.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I I figured that'd be the most frustrating part of it because I was thinking the same thing.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: You want to help people so bad, and when they don't want it, you're just like, you well, you just gotta let it go.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: There's not not a whole lot you can do until they get to that point.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: And success for them might not be the full piece.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's it's they see this big, giant potential, they may not want that.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: They may want to have a more, you know, relaxing life.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: They may want to have certain uh things that are not you know pushing towards my idea of success.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, stepping back from that and don't project on them.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, that's a great point.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: Chad, as people read your book and and dig into it, if if they take nothing else but just one piece of information, what do you hope that one nugget or that one thing that they they grasp onto, what do you want that to be?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: I would say that not to get stuck in the past.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, your experience is valuable, but it's not everything.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're on that one path and you're looking in your tunnel vision and you're just not happy, it might be time to make that pivot.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hard because you know, walking away could seem like admitting that your past and your experience is worthless, and it's not.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: All you're doing is making a pivot.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: You can still use your experience, but you really shouldn't, you know, give up a great future to justify your past.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: I love that message.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Chad, last question for you.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I ask everyone that comes on the podcast this question, just simply from a books for guys standpoint.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I know it's yeah, I think it's it's a fun, unfair question because you could answer it differently depending on where you're at in life, what's going on.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm always curious to know what is a book or two that has meant a lot to you personally or professionally, and what's a book that you love to recommend to others?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: The four-hour work week is something that you know hit me pretty hard.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it can be taken out of context that, you know, you're working four hours a week, but it it just shows you can do so much with the time that you have.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I like to go old school.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, uh, you know, Dale Carnegie and uh you know uh Norman Vincent Peel, Napoleon Hill.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I can't tell you how many times I've read Think and Grow Rich.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: Those just resonate with me.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I know they're kind of old-fashioned and the language could be a little bit goofy, but for whatever reason, those classics just resonate with me.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I've I've literally gone through four copies of Think and Grow Rich because they wear out because I read it so often.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's incredible.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: That book is probably recommended more than any other book when I asked that question.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's interesting you say the four-hour work week, because not a single person I've had on the podcast has mentioned that book.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember that that had a big impact on me.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: I read it uh my senior year of college, actually.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it took a while for me to kind of figure it out, but it definitely sat with me and it's motivated me ever since then to figure out how to do my own thing or how to build or how to maximize time.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it, I can definitely tell there are little bits of that book that sit with me every day in one way or another.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, and maybe I don't think about, you know, the specific title every day, but the fact that you brought it up, I'm like, that was probably one of the most influential books for me too, personally, and uh one that I've I've recommended several times in a great book I think everybody should read.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's very motivating.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: But uh Chad, man, this has been great.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate you taking the time to to come on the Books for Guys podcast and share, share more about your book and your mission and your story because it is very important, and more people need to hear that and get motivated by it.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think the work you're doing is very important, and we're we're proud to spotlight you and your book.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: And uh man, can't wait to see just what all you continue to do.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: And what maybe there's another book down the line, you know, we'll have to jump back in here and have another conversation, or you know, who knows?
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: But man, I really appreciate this, and I think this is going to resonate with a lot of people.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate what you do.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: I it's just you know, for us guys, again, we could be stubborn, and you know, it's uh reading is not necessarily what we do.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I forget the exact statistics, but there's a vast majority of the I mean, not a majority, but a vast piece of the population, it might be 25%, that don't read one book a year.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that is really, I mean, just staying on top, even if it's fiction, you know, just get those minds rolling.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it you might not ever captain a starship, but you learn something strategic from that starship captain and that fiction.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just it's something.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I appreciate what you're doing.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, I appreciate the kind words on that, Chad.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: But no, man, this has been great.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it.