Latest / Lightbearer's Library / When a highly sensitive man feels like giving up... (INFJ / INFP)

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When a highly sensitive man feels like giving up... (INFJ / INFP) · Lightbearer's Library

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, dear soul.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: As a highly sensitive man, it's probable that you are a creator of some kind.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're a songwriter, an artist, a writer, a podcaster, a maker of videos.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, we put our heart and soul as highly sensitive people into these works, these creations.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: And when we put them out over years, you know, months or years, and we don't get the feedback that we're looking for, the fail, you know, the failed releases, the videos that no one watches, or, you know, it just can start to feel like there's a bit of a sense of defeat, that you know, nothing is ever going to change.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we can start to, you know, maybe look at other people, other creators, and go, you know, you know, they're getting an audience, they're, you know, and so that's never helpful to compare ourselves to others.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I think we replay in our minds over and over again what we could have done differently, how we can, how we can, you know, get new skills.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're deeply introspective.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so we want to to be able to continue to create.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the the the list of things that we we start telling ourselves is like we need better marketing skills, better equipment, better editing, better discipline, better ability to understand what it is that people want.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think some of those genuinely do help.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I think on the inside, it can start to feel like we're not good enough, that we don't, you know, that we don't have what it takes.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And we can also start ruminating on all of these, these disappointments and and all of the reasons why we why we maybe suck.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and whether those are true or not, because sometimes we do need to get better at what we do, but it's it's just this this focus on the thing not succeeding, and and it becomes about us that we're the reason that it's not succeeding, and we're not the kind of person that can succeed at that.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it can feel really dark and really painful because this is this is the thing we feel like we want to share with the world.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's this this soul, like this thing inside of us that we want to share.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it can feel like I think also part of it is if you are someone who has been working at this for a while and you make your living off of it or a partial living off of it, it can be even more it can be even more hard because there's this this fear, terror of like if this doesn't succeed, if I can't get this to work, then there will be uh uh uh you know financial consequences for for this.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that that can feel really that that that that dependency on that on that creative work for our livelihood can be painful.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I know like my husband and I have depended on our create our creativity and our creations for the last 10 years.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And because of AI, that's really been jeopardized in a massive way.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's been a lot of fear in our household about, you know, um, how are we we have to come up with different solutions, different ways of of making making a living from our our skills and our abilities.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, but yeah, it's a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're feeling this, I I my heart goes out to you because it's um, yeah.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: So today is, you know, my husband, he he he writes essays um on Substack, and I have this channel, Light Bears Library.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think today has just been feeling really quite heavy and quite dark.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's sort of snowy and dark outside, so that doesn't help as highly sensitive people.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think the the weather can really impact our our ability to create, our ability to focus and stay positive.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that, you know, it's yeah, I just I had this sense of just not wanting to show up today to make this video to I just felt defeated.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: I felt, I feel, I felt like giving up, even though the work is so meaningful, and and so, you know, your work might be so meaningful, and you know that it touches people that you have reached.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes it can just, you know, if we're if we're tired and and that we just don't have the the money that we need coming in, it can just be draining.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then we can start to doubt ourselves and sort of that that downward spiral of all the negative thoughts just going down and down, and and then I can feel like, okay, well, if I put out another piece of creative work and it doesn't do well, it's going to like make make it even worse.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is kind of like okay, maybe I just need to have a halt on on putting things out there because I know that it'll only make it worse.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I know this is something my husband and I have really, really um yeah, played with a lot because I know like when we've had flops of of videos in the past and flops of his writing, it just it's so hard to get the energy back to to believing in ourselves, to to work hard on on yeah, on letting go of the disappointment, letting go of the fear, letting go of the failures that we've had, and trying our best to harness our self-belief again.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And um yeah.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're if you've been feeling this way, and you know, I know there's a lot of artists out there and creatives who are dealing with with with the reality of AI being able to, you know, obviously, you know, I don't want to get into into that so much, but it's it has had profound effects on creatives.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to acknowledge that.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think that there can be a lot of gaslighting of artists who are feeling this, you know, yes, yes, we need to like maybe learn how to use some of the things and change the way we do it.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like we've already had so much pressure as creatives to make a living, and then we've got this on top of it, and it can feel like the world is like, yeah, you know, we'll figure it out, you'll figure it out, and and um it's just hard.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't have any answers.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think it's yeah.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: So if you'd like to comment below with your story, I would love to read it.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: It helps to feel not so alone in this world that we're in, and it helps to not feel so defeated and maybe to just yeah, get a second wind.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, and I think it's important to also let ourselves rest if if we can, to take a time out to find new inspiration, to whatever that might be for you, whether it's listening to to new music, finding new books to read, new ideas, um uh new conversations, uh, it's like making sure that we still have a reservoir of inspiration.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's important.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, it's it's hard when the days hit where it's kind of like you've gotta, you've gotta create something, you know, because you have a schedule, you know, a weekly podcast or a weekly thing that you put out and when the day comes to make it, and it's just like, ah, I I literally just want to get back into bed and pull the covers over my head.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: It can be really hard.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, um, yeah, I would love to hear your stories.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And if the Light Bear's library has become somewhere that is meaningful to you, then I would really appreciate your support in helping me to continue doing this.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: And any donations, no matter how small, really, really help me and my husband.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: So there will be links down below.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if you would like to come and speak to other highly sensitive men about this topic or other topics that I talk about on my channel, then um I'm hosting a men's sanctuary.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: It starts November 3rd.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's Wednesday four Wednesdays or four two Wednesdays, four Wednesdays in a row, and we just kind of create this container of you know in in sensitive, intuitive feeling men and sharing sharing the the ups and downs of what happens and talking about, yeah, all sorts of we we never know where we're gonna go.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a co-created space.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: So we do it um on Proton Meet where we just you can have your camera on or off.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just such a wonderful good, good feeling space.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're if you're wanting that for the month of November, I know it can be kind of a dark month.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um for me at least, it's one of the darkest.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: That in February seems to be, then um, I would invite you to join us.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: The links will be down below.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I'm wishing you so many blessings.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Signing off for today, XOXO Kate.