Latest / Ready Set Collaborate with Wanda Pearson / From Pain To Purpose with Dr. Myava Clark: Raising Confident, Connected Children

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From Pain To Purpose with Dr. Myava Clark: Raising Confident, Connected Children · Ready Set Collaborate with Wanda Pearson

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Ready Set Collaborate with Wanda Pearson.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is where ideas spark, connections grow, and collaborations fuse success.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Tune in for inspiring stories, expert insights, and game-changing conversations.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Let's build, connect, and thrive together.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, collaboration is the key to success.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome, welcome to the ReadySet Collaborate Podcast with Wanda Pearson, where we explore the art of collaboration, purpose, and impact because collaboration is the key to success.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: Today's guest is Dr.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Maya Maeva.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: Did I say it right?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, Maeva.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, ma'am.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's a beautiful name.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: Maeva, an author, advocate, respiratory therapist, and passionate champion for children and families with social and emotional needs.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: She is the co-founder of Casein, which is collaborative advancement for social emotional needs and founder of M-O-E-K, Mothers of Exceptional Kids.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: I love that, Dr.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: Maeva.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: Dr.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: Clark is rooted in compassion, advocacy, and the episode experience.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: She equips parents, especially mothers, and exceptional children with tools, community, and hope, creating spaces where emotional wellness and collaboration take center stage.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: This conversation is for parents, caregivers, educational educators, advocates, and anyone who believes that supporting the whole family is essential to helping children thrive.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get started.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Say hello to the audience, and I'm going to read your short bio after we say hello.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, everyone, and thank you, Wanda, for having me.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: It is a pleasure to be here with you today.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I had to chase this lady down.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, okay, we need to talk about my podcast.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: I love it because I also have a grandchild uh grandchild that's uh artistic ways.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: He's 15, but they're so lovable when they get to, but then they have their moments.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: They know it's because Nana loves them, but I don't take no listen.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: You need to calm down.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna tell you what I told him.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Listen, and this is when I was actually I just retired.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Listen, I want you, whenever you get frustrated, I want you to take a deep breath and count the seven.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: There was seven, then now it's up to 20, and say in the name of Jesus.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh he said, okay, Nana.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: In the name of Genesis.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Okay, you're still in the Bible.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: That's cute.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: But it actually calms him down.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, just take a deep breath because things get they get it's antsy here, but but I'm so happy to have him.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: He's 15.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know what?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: I he's at Southwind High School.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: He loves school.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: He was on the on winter break and he said, Nana, I can't wait to get back to school to see my friends and to go into the learning lab.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Boy, I said, You the first person that I know this can't wait to get back to school.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, but no, I I love him to death.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's 15, and I have another grandson that's 20.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: We'll be 21 soon.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: Let me talk about your bio here a little bit, and then we're gonna jump into some questions here.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, Dr.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: Maeva Clark is a passionate advocate educator, and I think I mentioned this about the author of seven books.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: No, I didn't mention seven books.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: My goodness.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: A respiratory therapist and college professor, she co-founded Caseon, which is collaborative advancing for social emotional needs with her son to help neurodivergent children ages nine to 13 stay safe online by building social emotional skills.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: She co-founded, co-founded the MOAC Mothers of Inspector Kids Parent Support Group, empowering families through education, advocacy, and hope.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: You are a blessing, I tell you, because we need that a lot out here today, as far as what's going on in our schools.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for doing that.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: I really appreciate that.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm gonna get into some questions here.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And like I said, can I give my formal introduction because I want to explain something too?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, please do.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Please do.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: As you said, my name is Dr.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Maiva Clark, and I help parents and caregivers of neurodivergent children by providing emotional support and practical tools without burnout, while they guide their children toward meaningful friendships where they're celebrated and not just tolerated, all while teaching them about bullying to prevent them from being bullied.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: And neurodivergent refers, it's an umbrella term that refers to the way an individual's brain processes information, behaves, or believes that is considered different than what is normal or neurotypical.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: And some of the diagnoses that fall under neurodivergent is like autistic, ADHD, or dyslexia.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: I just thought that was important so your audience would know when we throw out the term neurodivergent what we're referring to.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'm so glad that you clarified that.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you for really talking about that.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: I really appreciate that because a lot of people don't understand what neurodivergent.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: I had another guest on that actually she had her own business with neurodivergent, and she actually explained it too.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: But I love how you really put it out there because people need to understand that things we don't know.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: We don't know sometimes our children, we don't know until it's too late.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: My grandson, he was he was a baby, and we knew something was wrong, but we didn't know, but then they didn't actually let us know until he was older.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: He was in New York, and then he moved to New Jersey, then he moved to Atlanta, Georgia, and then finally North Carolina is when they really said what was going on.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's a shame that they have to go through that.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: No, thank you.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate you.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, the virgin is basically a newly embraced time.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I really embraced it maybe two years ago.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people aren't, they just know special needs or but this is the term.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: And really, my son has learning differences, and we were the ones that pushed for testing because he has two first cousins that are one was three months older and one was six weeks older, and we noticed some things weren't he wasn't able to do as well or on the same level.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: We actually pushed against people's saying everything was fine, and we had him tested, and he started receiving services from early intervention when he was like, Two, I'm here to empower parents.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: And if they think something, I encourage them to get them tested sooner rather than later, because what's what's the worst thing can happen?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: Everything is fine.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so it doesn't hurt you to have them tested, but if everything isn't fine and you get help sooner rather than later, you get the opportunity to close that education gap sooner, and maybe depending on what it is, they may even grow out of it, or the gap is so closed that they catch up.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: I always encourage people to get the testing, get the help, get the services, because prolonging it could widen the gap and take longer for things to get better, if you know.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: I love it because you're right, because it took longer for my grandson to really get tested and oh, he's okay, he'll grow out of it.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: But no, thank you for saying, and I appreciate what you're doing.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: Now I wanted to ask you something.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: Tell us about your journey and what led you to become a respiratory therapist and an author advocate.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: I was a biology major in high school.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: I went to college as a biology.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: I was in the health sciences in high school, and I was a biology major and undergrad.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: I always had a passion for patience and serving and helping.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I've been a therapist for over 30 years and working with children at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia for over 25 years.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I went back to school.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: I went for my master's is in education, elementary education.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that when I had children, I would be a school teacher so I could have my summers off with my children.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I chose elementary education.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: God has a very good sense of humor, and he I think we make plans and he laughs.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: But I never knew that in real time, the only reason why I picked elementary education is because I was intimidated by it teaching adults.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: I never knew in real time that was part of God's divine plan because when I was became pregnant with my son while I was in school, and when I had him and he had these developmental delays, everything that I learned from school, I was able to use and apply to help close the gap with him and his typically developing peers.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: My children are just two children that I taught from my education.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: And when I realized I went into it because of fear, I refuse to be held back by anyone, especially by myself.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And what I did is I became a college professor because I refused to be held back by the fear of teaching adults.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's how I got there.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: And as time progressed, my PhD is in higher education and leadership ed.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: I have a dual concentration.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I think God orchestrated all of this to be to lead me to where I am now, and turning pain in the passion, and pain in the purpose.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: So everything I went through with my son with his learning disabilities and his developmental delays, and my daughter with her medical challenges, and my being a respiratory therapist at the children's hospital for 25 years.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: I am a person who serves.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: I love children, and I'm very compassionate and everything.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think all of that led to where I am now.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I just served but served differently.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: I love it because nothing's better than a parent that knows exactly how to treat their children.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: I love that you did that.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: And but I tell you, I'm gonna tell you something, Dr.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: Meyer.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: I actually I hated biology.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: I did not want to dissect nothing in high school.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, can I skip this class?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: So I give you kudos to that because I don't even like needles.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: When I went to school, I wanted to be a teacher, right?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I think with my first year, I said, oh no, because I was only 16 when I went to college.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: I went to I said, oh no, I don't want to be a teacher.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: So social work was what I that's what God led me.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'm gonna tell you, at 10 years old, I said I want to be a social worker.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: Had no idea, like you said, God has a He has a sense of humor.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: So I became a social worker.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: And even though I'm doing I do corporate and avid, but that social work in me is my passion, just like you said, your passion and the pain from what I went through was abused, actually, I created what I'm doing now.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, we can talk for days here, but let me get going here.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: What was an I think you already mentioned this?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: What was there a defining moment that sparked your passion for advocacy and emotional wellness?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I think you talked about that with your children, right?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: Reflecting back on the years, there were times I felt like I was kicked down.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: And by the time I tried to get to my knees, I was kicked again, one thing after another.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that and when you are in a cycle where you're staying positive, you're doing the things, you're doing the course, but you can't seem to get emotionally ahead.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: I remember I was sitting outside the gym one day and I just started crying because it was overwhelming.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was when I said I realized God is allowing this to happen, and He's in control, and I realized that because He was in control, I would be okay, and it was something that I needed to get through.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then I decided to lean into the pain, and instead of fighting it or hiding from the pain, I would lean in and embrace the pain.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: And what I found is leaning into the pain helped me to get through it faster because it was a level of surrender and acceptance, and I believe that whatever the Lord was trying to get out of me or through me, he was able to do because I surrendered and allowed it to happen.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: I smile because my brother was a minister, died actually two years, January 11th, but he preached on you got to go through to understand why you're going through it to get through it.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: I always change it around, but yeah, but we don't know why we go through situations, but it's for a reason to help us be stronger.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: And he helped you understand what you had to do by going through that pain and to that purpose, and it still hurt, but I'll tell you a couple things.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: Gratitude makes things that are not easy easier, yeah.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: So when you learn to be grateful even in the difficult things, you get through it better, and even though it was painful, I'd rather be in pain with Jesus, with me and carrying me, yeah, than to not have him because if I know the Lord and it was still difficult at times, yeah, where does the person who doesn't know him stand?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I would think of that, and you just have to be honest with yourself, you have to be, I believe, transparent and honest with yourself first, because God can't bless you for who you pretend to be, he can only bless you for who you really are.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: And that does definitely make sense.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: We have to continue to remind ourselves of that.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: And when you trust and have faith, then he can turn things around that you think is difficult to be rewarded to be what you're doing today.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Just like with me, just like what I'm doing today, just like what you're doing today.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: So that that is, I love it.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: So why is addressing social and emotional needs just as important as academic or medical support for children?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because everything we do to connect in life, these soft skills, life skills, we need to be able to interact.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: We need to be able to be social.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: We need to be able to manage our emotions, our the way we relate to people.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it's extremely important to teach our babies this from an early age, especially now in the midst of social media, in the midst of hiding behind screens, in the midst of children don't really go outside and play like they used to play.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: When we were coming up, we rode bikes, we played jacks, we played the double dutch, we jumped rope, we hide and seek, we did all the things.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: And with each of those, it was connection, it was human interaction and connection.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: And you got in the little scuffles on the playground, but it taught you how to deal and relate to people.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: And when we got into the workforce, hopefully the majority of us was able to relate because we had those issues on the playground that taught us.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then when you are hiding and these kids don't have these interactions, social interactions, they grow up to be adults who can't relate and communicate and connect with people.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: So it's very important.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: And to me, that's equally as important.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter how smart you are, you can't communicate with people because it's going to be a disconnect.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that you said that because it really makes a difference.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: So, what gaps do you see in the system that case and helps fill?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, wow.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: What this excites me because uh a lot of parents are afraid to let allow their children to go online because of the unknown, because of the predators, because of the groups.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you've ever heard there's a group called 764, and it's considered the modern-day terrorists, and they terrorize children.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Their mission is to wreak havoc on kids, and they get into these gaming systems, pretend to be other kids.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: And with this group, it was on Good Morning in America in November, and what they do is they are extorting children, they're convincing them to take nude photos of themselves and send them pictures, and then they're blackmailing the families for it, and they also are convincing kids to do harm to themselves and even suicide.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: And if you go on YouTube, there's one video in particular where a parent parents were on there, and this group convinced their 13-year-old son who suffered with mental health issues after COVID.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: They convinced him to commit suicide and they watched him do it.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so where casing comes in, we started off with children 9 to 13, but as we were having different focus groups, they were they asked us if we would do something for younger children.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: So we actually have six to eight and nine to thirteen.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: We teach the same information, but just on different skill level.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: And what we do is we build the children's self-confidence and we uh help them identify what bullying is, if they're being bullied, if they witness bullying, or if they are in fact the bully.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: We teach them how to report it and who to report it to.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: And the point of casing is to get to the children before they ever get on social media.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: So they know what to look out for, they're protected, they're confident, we build them up.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: So when they do go into that space and they see it, they know how to report it, they talk about it.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what makes us the most unique is we empower parents and caregivers with the same information and tools so they can continue the conversation because we're there to support them, not to replace them.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: That that's amazing.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_02: I actually just went on the internet 764 group, and it I was like, wow.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: This is very interesting.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: So, people, you listen to this, go on the 764 group or see how Casein can help your children.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: Because you know that when kids get lonely and they don't have anybody to talk to and they want a friend, they go into these gaming things and they actually just get in entrance with this.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: So this is something that Casey can help fill the gap of that.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I appreciate you talking about that.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: We were talking about that at the gala as far as and your husband, as far as how because kids are so vulnerable these days, especially girls, just vulnerable.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: And it's a lot of things going on with that, right?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Another thing that we do is we teach them that when they're look when they're on social media, they see the highlighted reels of these other kids.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: They see their best versions, and they compare their everyday normal lives to these highlighted reels, which aren't real.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody might have taken 20 selfies before they got the perfect one.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: And you think they're just perfect, but that's not realistic.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: And we teach them that, so they don't do the comparison.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: We teach them that there are different types of bullying.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now, most people know about physical bullying, but they may not know that there's something called social bullying, where you spread rumors about somebody or you isolate them and you don't include them.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: They don't know about verbal bullying, where you're teasing someone or you're laughing at them and be at the way they talk, as well as yelling at them or calling them names.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, the physical bullying, hitting, touching, kicking, and even damaging somebody's property is bullying.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then this again, the new thing, the cyberbullying, where you're being mean to someone, and we teach them don't say anything to anyone online that you wouldn't be willing to say in front of them.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Don't post anything online that you wouldn't be able to say and back up in person, and how what you post online can stay with you forever, even if it's deleted.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: It can hurt their chances for getting into the college of their choice, getting into the the job, and it can come back and haunt them later in life.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: So we teach them about having a good digital footprint.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: We teach all the things.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: I I love that because they really need, and not just with case, everybody needs to learn that because even adults, because that affects you as you go on.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: Whatever you put on social media, you're trying to get a job.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: Even insurance.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: So even insurance, people look at your profile, you know, who you're associated with.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_02: So that is so important.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: So let's talk about girl.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: This time is going by.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna have to have you on my show again because we got a lot to talk about here.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: So, what inspired you to create uh Moak, the mothers of exceptional kids?
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, first I'll tell you what made me create Casein.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna ask you that, Jeff.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: What made me create Casein?
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'll feed it, it'll feed into Moak.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Casein actually was my son's idea.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: When my son graduated from high school, he was in his freshman year of college, and my husband asked him, What do you wish you had that you didn't have that could help other kids today?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, I wish that someone would have taught me how to be appropriate on social media.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, All kids may not have the village that I had to teach me, and I want to help them so they don't go through some of the things I went through.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: My son dealt with anxiety and depression as a result of social media at times during the 2012 election.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: He was bullied online pretty much by adults because he would he befriended people that he didn't know in real life.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: And they weren't kind to him, and he expressed his political views, and they called him names, including the N-word, because of his support for President Obama, and we had to help him navigate that.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: He had a mother who was in there with him and talked to him and navigated that space with him, and he didn't fall victim to it.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: So that's how it came about.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: It was his idea to help the kids that may not have the support that he had.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then so last year, in dealing with this, I realized that not only do the kids need support, the parents need support.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember going through and feeling overwhelmed and lonely at times.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: I could be in a crowded room and felt alone.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Fortunately, I am married.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: I have my husband.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: God willing, we'll be married 30 years in April.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it still was lonely.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: It was still hard, even though we had our family championing us, supporting us, we didn't, it didn't feel like they could relate.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I know what that feels like to be alone in a crowded room and to feel like no one understands me or no one gets me.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where Moak came from.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: Mothers of exceptional kids.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it's called Moac, but it's not just mothers that show up.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: I have fathers, I have grandparents, I have caregivers, and I have neurotypical parents that come because they need support too.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really an inclusive group.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I just don't think that anyone should do life alone or feel unsupported on that journey.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what two of my books, I'm gonna tell you, sorry.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: Two of my books are help.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you can see it, support for parents of children with learning and thinking differences to feel confident, capable, and fulfilled.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that's based off of the first 25 years of my journey with my son.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: And from diagnose from suspicion to diagnosis to casing.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's all of that.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then I have the parent and caregiver's guide: overcoming the odds of disabilities, medical challenges, mental health disorders, and trauma.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a collaboration book that I have 12 co-authors with me.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: We all answer the same questions.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: And the first six are parents answering from the perspective of a parent.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: And the second six authors are professionals answering the questions.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: Very encouraging, very supportive, a lot of resources in both of them.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: Help has over a hundred references in there to support parents.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I I wrote it as a parent from a parent perspective, but I'm an educator.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I did a literature review and have over a hundred references in the book.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I defined all the terms, and there's a glossary in the back of the book.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you can go to my website and print them out and take them to IEP meetings with you.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm here to support people.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: So I gotta tell, yeah, I gotta definitely put my daughter in touch with you because and that's why I wanted to ask you what are some of the biggest challenges mothers of assessment children face that often goes unseen?
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, the biggest one, self-care.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: You neglect yourself because you're all things for everyone.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: And we're sitting here talking about my son, but my daughter has medical challenges.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: And in 2016, my daughter had 83 doctor's appointments.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh wow.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm a wife mother, had two jobs, went to church, went to the gym whenever I can.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: And when God revealed to me that I hadn't lost my mind, there's no human explanation for why that happened.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that same year, I was in a car accident and had two or three appointments a week myself.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: So between the two of us, I had about 200 doctors' appointments in one year.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, wow.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I was telling my husband, I was like, when I'm off, I'm not off.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm on differently.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I just didn't have a break.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think the biggest thing that I think mothers miss is how to take care of yourself while you're taking care of everyone else.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to learn that self-care is not selfish, it's necessary.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because by providing yourself with self-care, it really allows you to show up as a better version of yourself for everybody else.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I was gonna ask you that, but you already answered.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: So advocacy can be exhausting.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: How do you encourage mothers to care for themselves by caring for others?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I appreciate you saying that because I tell you, I can see my daughter, she has her own business, she works for a corporate and have four kids along with that.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_02: So, yes, and that that that is the hardest, the biggest thing is that self-care for ourselves, we don't do the self-care for ourselves, caring so much for our family, and we got to take time.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: But you know what?
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_02: The thing is, God will sit you down, he set me down.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: He said, Okay, you need to sit down and be still.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of my family want you need to sit down and be still on it.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: So if you don't do it, he will sit you down and you gotta take care of yourself.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_02: No, thank you for saying that.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: So, how does emotional healing play a role in being an effective advocate?
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, emotional healing for yourself, for yourself.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: The first thing for me is surrender, yeah, surrender and learning that I didn't need to be perfect, I only needed to progress.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: I had to learn to give myself grace for not having all of the answers, for not I had to for I had to learn to forgive myself for neglecting myself and trying to be there for everyone else, but not being available emotionally for me.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: So those were the biggest, and then I also had to learn because I have a lot on me, a lot of responsibility, I had to learn to go at the pace of grace.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: When God said he I had a lot to do, but he graced me for it.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: I had to learn to say, what am I graced for today?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna tell you something.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_02: I actually, I was in North Carolina and God woke me up because I worry a lot too, but three words he says, let go, let God release.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_02: And he repeated it again to me.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I woke me up, I'm gonna say, What'd you say?
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_02: Let go, let God release.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: So release the worry and release the anxiety that we have.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's easier said than done, but we really have to take the time for ourselves because us women, we do a lot for everybody else, really.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: But do you know what I learned?
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: What you just said?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's pride.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: We are prideful, and pride doesn't come from God.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: When you think you can handle it all, when you think you got all the answers, when you think you need to be in control, that's pride, and pride comes from the enemy.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I think with the that revelation and all these little things combined, help me to get to where I am today, where I can sit back the vast majority of the time now and be like, okay.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: Even when I'm in a storm, I have learned to be like, okay.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I learned to say, okay, God has He's allowing it to happen, and it's okay.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that's been a journey, that's been a long process to get to this point.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: We're winding down here.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: I and I tell you, I can have you on for another hour.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: But so how can listeners uh connect with you and learn more about Case and Moak?
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: One thing they can do is go to mothers of exceptionalkids.com and download my free ebook.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: It is the five secrets to emotionally support your child with learning differences without burning out.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the and then we'll be connected that way.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: If they're interested in my books and things, they can get to me through there.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: But my website is casinlc.com.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: And they can just browse it and search, learn more about me and my son.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: They can get my books there and learn about Case and Connect.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: And Case and Connect is our platform that we're using as a precursor to regular social media to support our children.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I see I see.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_02: So you got to send me the one with the free books here, but I see case and lc.com is your website.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_02: So you have to send me the other so I can put it on the show notes so people can get the show notes and just click on it and get that information.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: We'll do.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: We'll do.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_02: I I now last question.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_02: So, what legacy do you hope your work leaves for families and future generations?
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that my work lets them know that they are enough.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: They have everything they need within them.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: They have everything they need for their children already there.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: They just have to tap into it.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: They have to lean into the support.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: They don't need to navigate and do life alone.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: They don't have to.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: My son's here.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: We're here to do this journey with them because they're enough.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's the legacy I want them to know.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: I want the children to know that different is different and different is awesome.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: I got that from Stacy Montgomery.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that because they don't need to be fixed.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: They need to embrace themselves and love themselves for who they are.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because when we think that we're broken and we need to be fixed, or our children need to be fixed, to me, I've learned that to say that it means that God didn't know what he was doing and he made a mistake.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't think God makes mistakes, that means you are where you need to be, and so is your child.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_01: You just need to learn to navigate it and understand how to keep moving forward.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I want my legacy to be.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I see the passion in you and the smile.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_02: So that really is so God.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: And God put you in this place for a reason and for you to help other people.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you, Dr.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: Mayabba.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_02: So listen, so Dr.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_02: Mayabba, thank you so much for sharing your heart, your wisdom, and your advocacy for us today.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: Your work is a reminder that when we support the emotional wellness of families, especially mothers and fathers, we strengthen entire communities.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_02: To our listeners, I if this conversation resonated with you, I encourage you to connect with Dr.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: Clark.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm saying Dr.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_02: Clark, because she's a doctor, she got all kinds of doctors here.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_02: Explore her work.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you for tuning in to ReadySet Collaborate with Wanda Pearson.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_02: So until next time, keep collaborating, keep advocating, and keep walking in purpose.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks again, Dr.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_02: Viaba.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_02: I truly appreciate you being on the show.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you so much for having me.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's my story for God's glory.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_02: Make sure you all subscribe and follow ReadySet Collaborate.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: That wraps up another episode of ReadySet Collaborate with Wanda Pearson.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights to help you build meaningful connections and successful collaborations.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to subscribe, share, and stay tuned for more great discussions.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep collaborating and making an impact.