Latest / Rise and Thrive with Dr. J. Nicole Podcast / Faith, Fitness & the First 15 with Dr. Kyle Boone

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Faith, Fitness & the First 15 with Dr. Kyle Boone · Rise and Thrive with Dr. J. Nicole Podcast

• 0:16
  Good morning, good morning, and welcome to Rise and Thrive with
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  Doctor J Nicole, where we are rising in faith and thriving in
• 0:24
  purpose. Today's episode is going to be
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  focusing on faith and fitness and caring for the body that God
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  has given you. And we have a very, very special
• 0:34
  guest here today. I've known this man for almost 2
• 0:38
  decades. I just did the math.
• 0:42
  So we have here with us today Doctor Kyle Boone.
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  He's currently the Director of Housing and Residence Life at
• 0:50
  Grand Valley State University in Michigan, and his work as a
• 0:54
  scholar practitioner centers on amplifying the voices and lived
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  experiences of historically marginalized populations and
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  higher education. Our guy here is degreed up.
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  He has a degree from the University of Louisville, the
• 1:11
  University of Pacific, and APHD from LSU.
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  Go Tigers. Doctor Boone is passionate about
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  turning research into real impact and keeping it real.
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  While he's at all of this on rise and thrive, he brings both
• 1:29
  brilliance and boldness to the conversation.
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  He's going to be reminding us that restoration and
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  representation can coexist. Dr. Boone is a bourbon hunting,
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  CrossFit loving, culture shifting scholar that you didn't
• 1:47
  know you needed on your faith and healing journey.
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  Let's welcome him to the show. Let's go.
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  Yes, let's go. Welcome.
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  All. Right, so you know, our bodies
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  are temples and yet many of us neglect the physical aspect of
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  that, neglect the physical aspect of our well-being while
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  focusing on spiritual growth. But faith and fitness, they go
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  hand in hand. So caring for your body is also
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  an act of worship, discipline, and gratitude.
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  So in this episode, we're going to explore how we can shift our
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  mindsets around health and Wellness and how we can honor
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  God by taking care of ourselves and how to build sustainable
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  habits that support both our spiritual and physical
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  well-being. All right, Doctor Boone, welcome
• 2:37
  to the show. Having me this is awesome.
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  Yeah, I'm so happy to have you here to talk about such an
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  important topic. So tell me about why this topic
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  is important to you. Yeah, it took a minute for me to
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  figure out that fitness or taking care of me was super
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  important because I never took care of like everything.
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  Like the world makes you feel like, like you don't have time
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  to do it right. You gotta just go and that
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  hustle mentality will catch up to you.
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  And next thing you know, you're just burning out and you're
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  trying to figure out like what next and whatnot.
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  And it's interesting that you even asked me to speak about
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  this because like my mantra for this year is to make time for
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  time. Like it's literally come on,
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  like what, Like what, what can I do or what have I been putting
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  off because I said I don't have the time to do it right.
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  So I think this topic is important because it really
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  makes you sit down with yourself and become aware of like, what
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  are you actually making time for?
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  Because we got a lot of excuses, right?
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  You know, we got kids or puppies or work or whatever and you just
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  can't sit down because you got to go, go, go.
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  And I'm not, I'm, I don't want to be a hypocrite.
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  I'm all about to go, go, go, but there is moments where you just
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  got to take control of yourself. So this is important to me just
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  because I've watched people literally sell their, their,
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  their body, the mind and spirit for the job, right?
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  And in my field, in my field, everything is about being
• 3:58
  student centered, student centered.
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  And, and I've watched people burn out of this field by giving
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  everything they had to, to the students without recognizing
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  they probably have an interest in trauma or lack of movement
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  that that needs to be handled. So that's why it's important to
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  me. Yes, thank you for that and
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  that's super important. So I recently saw you in New
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  Orleans at Nassau, which is a student affairs conference.
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  For those of you that don't know, before I was in mental
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  health, I was at higher Ed where I got my start.
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  That's How I Met this awesome guy.
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  I'm just shy of 20 years ago and something that I recognized,
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  Kyle, having been out of the field and then being back in
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  community with you all is how boundaries are not really
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  promoted or really reinforced. And it might be at some
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  institutions, but I'm just saying generally, right?
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  And that lack of boundaries, that lack of self-care, even
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  though we talk about it with students and with them, we don't
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  model it. Can you talk to me a little bit
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  more about that since you did bring up burnout being a common
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  thing in your field? You know, we don't model it at
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  all. I think we're getting better,
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  but I don't think we do it at all.
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  Not at all. I don't think we do it as well
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  as we probably should, right? You can just think about like
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  when's the last time you received the 3:00 AM e-mail,
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  right? Like we do that in this field
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  because we're up and we feel like it's time to work.
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  Well, me at my level, if I do it, my staff may read it and
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  say, well, shucks, boons up. So I got to be up, right?
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  And then it's it creates something that is not
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  sustainable, right? So we don't model it really
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  well, but I think we're getting better at it.
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  The thing is like it's levels, entry level, early career
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  professionals are really trying to put their foot in the door
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  and say I'm supposed to be here not recognizing they belong.
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  Since we, you know, they got that degree, they belong.
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  So they got that first job, so. And they don't.
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  Right, You don't have to prove yourself to us and, and even
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  trying to prove yourself to us even like in the fitness world,
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  like think about it like you're not going to run as fast as
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  somebody else, but you might, you may not.
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  So anyway, there are some, there are some boundaries that we
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  haven't really found, found a way to like create the
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  delineation between work and life.
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  But I think the beautiful thing that I'm watching is, even
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  though we haven't done boundaries real well, we're
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  talking about harmony now. Like we're talking about like,
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  well, how do we create some type of alignment with your work and
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  your life? And I think jobs in I can't save
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  every job I can say for this job, you know, jobs are saying
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  we do Care now it's it's really up to us to say, show me, right?
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  I want to try and see what happens.
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  And I love what you just said, that you're aware of your
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  influence as a leader, that if your team sees you up at 3:00 AM
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  sending emails that indirectly sends a message that this is a
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  standard. If my leader is showing poor
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  boundaries without that, we that's what I'm calling it,
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  right? If he, if he's showing poor work
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  life balance, oh, well, I, I gotta, I gotta rise to that, to
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  that standard. That's yeah.
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  And let me add, like even in interviews, we love that
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  candidate that says, I'm, I'm ready to hit the ground running.
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  Like we love it. We do, we want it.
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  It's it's sexy. It's the thing like, Oh my gosh,
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  you're ready to come in and knock a wall down.
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  But even in the idea of it all, like just if you think about it,
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  if I'm in an interview, if I'm, if I'm in a suit, I'm clean and
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  you tell me to step out and hit the ground running.
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  Like at the end of the day, I'm not prepared to run, right?
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  Like I'm literally dressed up. I might RIP my suit, I might
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  slip and fall. So the idea sounds good on TV,
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  right? But it's really not something
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  that is sustainable. Sometimes you have to put on
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  your running shoes. And I think when I look at like,
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  what we actually reward, right? We reward the people who don't
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  have the balance. We reward the people who say
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  they're going to hit the ground running to do it.
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  The person who literally wants to stretch a little bit is not
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  seen as the person, right? Or at least often it's not seen
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  as a person. So I think even in our normal
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  like nomenclature like it's, it's a thing where we we promote
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  it and we're also recruiting for it, which is kind of
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  interesting. Yep, Yep, you're right.
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  And that could easily lead to attracting a similar type of
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  candidate, I mean, a specific type of candidate into the
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  position that I'll be honest too, I pick up on energy, but
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  also my clinical eyes were at work even though I was not on
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  the clock, right? I could see and feel and hear
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  the anxiety in so many spaces and places that I didn't hear
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  before when I was in the community.
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  I had to leave the profession and then also get trained up in
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  a different way that I was like, oh.
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  Wow, yeah, we're currently at that.
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  Anxiety will always flow, right. Like where we're current, like
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  what we're currently doing, like education is being threatened at
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  a different level. People are, you know, beyond
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  like executive orders. People are saying like
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  enrollment is being challenged or is my job necessary?
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  So, you know, that anxiety part doesn't go away, only amplifies
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  and higher it in my opinion. But it's it's a thing that we
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  can't turn a blind eye to, and another reason why this
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  conversation is pretty cool. OK, OK, so we're going to shift
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  a little bit about talking about why caring for the body is also
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  a spiritual responsibility. We're going to first start
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  backgrounding that in Scripture. So we're going to, I'm going to
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  read from First Corinthians 619 and 20.
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  Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit
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  who is in you, whom you have received from God?
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  You are not your own, but I'm actually going to add 20 because
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  it takes it home a little bit more.
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  You were bought at a price. Honor God with your body.
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  So let's talk about that a little bit, like how physical
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  health impacts our ability to fulfill God's.
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  Purpose I read AI read a book this year wasn't my favorite
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  book but it was a good book. The power of ritual and an idea
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  of the book was like anything can be spiritual or, or
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  fulfilling if you find an intent behind it, right?
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  And then really does ground you or sending you.
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  And I think the how of your question is the harder part like
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  cause a lot of us just can't get started.
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  But the idea behind it is really important.
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  It's not your own. It's just like your talents,
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  your talents are gifted. You have to mature.
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  Your body is a gifted, you have to mature.
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  I think especially the black population, we usually just wait
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  too long, right? We have the athletic prowess as
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  a child. Everybody runs track and plays
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  soccer, regardless of your asthma that you got right and
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  then. Or even in just in the.
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  Neighborhood, yeah. And then you know, or it just
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  could be generational. I remember I had to step outside
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  that affect the rule in North Carolina when I was visiting
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  grandparents was you come back in the house when the sun hits
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  the porch like you got to get out.
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  So it was. It was I've.
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  Never heard sun hits the porch. I've always heard you on the
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  street like comes on. I love this.
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  Porch so 'cause it's shady at the time, so it's you're out
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  early, they wake you up to get out the house.
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  But that is something that's really not promoted And, and
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  maybe this promoted, but we have so many things like technology
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  or or TV or whatever that's in the fold.
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  So it's not really promoted in the same and, and, and
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  neighborhoods are dangerous now. So it's a little different.
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  But the idea of the body is a temple earlier in my, my life
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  was more of a it it's not mine, right?
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  But you got to do something with it.
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  And I think recognizing that is really humbling, right?
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  This is not for me, you know, is for those who get to see or get
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  to experience it. Or you could just bless them.
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  I just by being in the space and they say, oh, you did it.
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  Oh, you did it. I gotta try it, right?
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  And that that is a blessing in itself.
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  Yeah, thank you for that. So let's talk about how we can
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  overcome guilt and shame related to body image or even past
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  unhealthy habits, right? Because it a lot of those things
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  they get at mindset, right? And that a lot of the times we
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  can't get out of here and get really into here in action out
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  here. I, I love that question.
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  I think what's hard arguably is there is a lot of outcome based
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  fitness out there, right? Like it's like, if you think
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  about it like I want a six pack. I'm going to start for the
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  summer. I want my summer body popping.
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  So I want to start in December, November, and I'm going to get
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  my summer body before I get to this trip in April or whatever
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  that thing is. So we're so outcoming.
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  And then what happens is you may have put all the work in.
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  You might even diet it really, really well, but you didn't
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  reach that thing that you said you would get.
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  And then that reward goes away. And because the reward goes
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  away, it's like, why did I do it in the first place?
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  Like I really, really wanted somebody to validate my
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  existence and I worked for it, I sweated for it, I ate for it, I
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  got it. But now I'm a little bloated and
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  it doesn't work. So I think being outcome based
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  intensifies that grief, insifies that shame and the anxiety.
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  I think that goes with actually working out.
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  I, I like to propose, especially when I first started doing
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  CrossFit, like I used to tell people, stay off the scale
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  because the problem was people would work out And next thing
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  you know, it's like, well, I'm not losing weight.
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  I'm like, stay up to scale. Are you getting stronger?
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  Are you, are your pants fitting differently or do you feel
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  better? Stay up to scale.
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  And women, when I coached or went and I'm starting coach
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  again, but we're, we're really hard to tell that to because I
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  think we have put so much pressure.
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  We, as in men have put so much pressure on women that it's like
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  we got to, you know, we got to be 1/25, 1:30.
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  And this is not even physically possible for a lot of us.
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  For the narrative is I don't want to get bulky and it doesn't
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  really kind of work that way. But nonetheless, I think being
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  outcome based doesn't help us. I think I like to look at it,
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  it's kind of be skill based. Like what are my goals?
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  Like what do I really am trying to accomplish physically, Not
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  like in looks and parents, but in action.
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  Like don't want to be able to walk up the stairs without
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  breathing hard. Do I want to be able to jump
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  high? Like what are the action based,
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  skill based things that I'm that I want?
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  And then the next question is gonna be, what are you willing
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  to give up to get it? Because there is no way to
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  outwork a bad diet. So I think there's a, there's
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  the rub, right? Same thing with faith.
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  Like there's no way like to, to be spiritually righteous on
• 14:20
  Sunday and, and then chill out the rest of the week and next
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  to, you know, you're like, oh, well, I'm good right now.
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  You gotta go back. Like, so it's the thing to me
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  with fitness, it's that like you're, you gotta take the gym
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  with you. Love that, love that.
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  And you brought up such a good point with the outcome base
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  because the other side of that is they meet the goal and then
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  they stop and then they regress and then they start all over
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  rather than it being about lifestyle.
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  But when you think about that, that's exactly how a lot of
• 14:50
  these companies in like corporations stay in business
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  because they can make you a repeat customer if they create
• 14:56
  messaging that keeps you in a constant cycle.
• 14:59
  You got to, you did it. Chill, right.
• 15:03
  So that's a really good point. I love that you said it.
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  I also love what you said too about the make it.
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  It's still action based, measuring it in different ways
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  essentially, and not just like the scale.
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  There are all these other ways to measure it or what is the
• 15:20
  you're doing this to be able to do what right, like and so
• 15:24
  that's fun. Like if your goal is So what are
• 15:27
  what do you call those things? And people like jump on the like
• 15:29
  the different heights, the things they stack up.
• 15:33
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like however many, I don't know
• 15:35
  how y'all measure those. I've never done it, right.
• 15:37
  But it just looks so dope when you see people do those, those
• 15:41
  leaps and it's amazing. And to be able to see that
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  outcome and just saying like I came and I said this is what I
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  wanted to do. And that scale thing, that's the
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  thing. I don't own the scale anymore,
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  right? And so I walked off between diet
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  and like walking. I don't even know how many
• 15:58
  pounds I walked off, but I know that I was almost a size 16 and
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  I walked myself down to a size 6.
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  Yeah, yeah. I don't own a scale.
• 16:07
  I still don't know. I went to the doctor.
• 16:09
  I was like, in my mind, I wanted to really write.
• 16:12
  IDK but I was like because NA wasn't applicable because I do
• 16:19
  have a weight, you know what I mean?
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  But that it is super important. When you get rid of that scale,
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  there's a different type of freedom because it reinforces
• 16:29
  just the habits, it reinforces the lifestyle.
• 16:32
  I agree. Yeah, and what you say you can't
• 16:35
  outwork a bad diet? I think, yeah, I don't think
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  it's possible. Me and my crew, every year,
• 16:40
  twice a year, we do a Paleo, but it almost feels like a Paleo, a
• 16:44
  diet. But what we're doing is just
• 16:45
  resetting. You know, it's right after
• 16:47
  Christmas and we go no alcohol, no bread, pasta, unnatural.
• 16:53
  So y'all take it dry January to another low?
• 16:56
  For about 40 days and then it's it's our way to reset.
• 16:59
  But for us, and this is probably a little more spiritual, it's
• 17:03
  really an opportunity for us to be in community with each other.
• 17:06
  Alright, like what you what you eat today I took send me that
• 17:10
  recipe. How you feeling?
• 17:11
  Are you sleeping well, like drinking water?
• 17:13
  Those are conversations that we're having checking in with
• 17:16
  each other because we're all doing it at the same time.
• 17:19
  And it's really a way, I think it's, it's matured us, you know,
• 17:22
  we could kick it with the best of them.
• 17:24
  But at the conference, we, we ran a 5K.
• 17:27
  Like it was one of those things where we're going to be in
• 17:29
  community with each other and then we're going to really be at
• 17:32
  peace with that. So I don't think you cannot work
• 17:34
  a bad diet. I think it's it's just
• 17:35
  impossible. Yeah, I love that that you are
• 17:39
  in community, not just for the social aspects, right?
• 17:43
  Like as that comes with community, I'm hearing that
• 17:46
  there's like a depth, I'm hearing that you all care about
• 17:48
  each other's well-being. I'm hearing that you all hold
• 17:52
  each other accountable for growth in multiple areas of your
• 17:55
  life. Not some of these other things
• 17:57
  that people have to outgrow in their like these and things like
• 18:01
  that in terms of what we focus on socially during those time
• 18:04
  periods in our life. And so I love that y'all are out
• 18:07
  of conference. I'm assuming when you talking
• 18:09
  about your community, these are people that are spread out
• 18:11
  across the country, just how higher Ed works.
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  And then y'all are coming together and saying yes, even
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  though we're in these sessions all day, we're going to get up,
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  we're going to run a 5K. Exactly how it went.
• 18:22
  It was a it was a couple phone calls.
• 18:24
  You bring in workout shoes or running shoes, Trigger running
• 18:26
  shoes, I guess we outside. Yeah, we outside like it.
• 18:29
  You doing something to be honest, like fully honest.
• 18:33
  We just ended our challenge. So you know, we're going to eat
• 18:36
  bad New Orleans. So we did.
• 18:38
  We ate pretty bad, but we were also able to maintain, you know,
• 18:43
  or at least start back up to where we were before we before
• 18:46
  we started. And what I also love there and
• 18:50
  what you said is that it's not super rigid, right?
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  Like if you have healthy habits, you can, you know, break outside
• 18:57
  of that. But some people they, they
• 18:59
  can't, right? If you have that personality,
• 19:01
  but you know, you can enjoy culture, you can enjoy places,
• 19:07
  but if you have your practices already in place, you know what
• 19:11
  I mean? It's not hard to get back on it.
• 19:13
  I know I needed to eat a few more vegetables when I was in
• 19:15
  New Orleans and then I came back.
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  I had to really go like vegetarian plant based when I
• 19:21
  got back because my system was like, what?
• 19:22
  Why you do that? That's hilarious.
• 19:26
  I'm not even kidding, but it was it was everything was like just
• 19:29
  amazing love New Orleans. OK, so let's talk a little bit
• 19:33
  though about breaking the cycle of like negative and unhealthy
• 19:37
  habits. So let's talk about how stress,
• 19:40
  emotional eating, and a lack of self-care, how those impact our
• 19:45
  overall will not. This is awareness at its finest.
• 19:48
  Like you got to ask yourself, like, what do I look like?
• 19:52
  Act like who am I when I'm unbalanced?
• 19:55
  And that's a thing, right? Like if I got way too many
• 19:58
  emails, I act a certain way, I'm unbalanced.
• 20:00
  I know what it looks like. I can put my finger on it, but I
• 20:04
  can also communicate it to other people so they know, right?
• 20:08
  Like, hey, Kyle, like I don't think I don't think you're good
• 20:10
  today. Like I'm good because you know,
• 20:11
  we always want to, you know, be self-righteous, right?
• 20:14
  Like I'm straight. And now are you?
• 20:16
  And then you click a little bit, like maybe I'm not, but having a
• 20:20
  good supervisor matters, right? Hey, I'm going home.
• 20:23
  My Wellness is, is, is, is. I'm not balanced today or, or
• 20:26
  what not. You can't do it every day, but
• 20:28
  recognizing it does matter. I think the hard part is like
• 20:32
  when you choose to overlook it because we're always like
• 20:37
  delusional when it comes to things like that, right?
• 20:39
  When it's, it's a negative impact on you, you're kind of
• 20:43
  delusional. Like, am I stressed out?
• 20:45
  Nah. Do I got trauma?
• 20:47
  Nah, have I been hurt? Nah, I'm strong.
• 20:50
  I'm super strong. You don't got to worry about me.
• 20:52
  And then you know, you haven't cried in six weeks and your body
• 20:55
  breaks down. Like it's all these things
• 20:56
  matter to me, like having some type of awareness is is a big,
• 21:01
  big deal. But asking yourself the question
• 21:03
  like, what does it look like when I am stressed?
• 21:06
  Because then you can start to pinpoint like what is stressing
• 21:08
  me out, right? I literally right before this
• 21:13
  year, two years ago, excuse me, I was going to a conference,
• 21:16
  coming home for the conference, working, going to something,
• 21:19
  coming back working. And I caught myself saying like
• 21:22
  I did a break in between these things so I can get back and
• 21:26
  reset. But it was my admin who told me
• 21:28
  that like, hey, like I've audited your calendar.
• 21:31
  You shouldn't be here. You know what you mean?
• 21:33
  I shouldn't be there like you. You're over.
• 21:35
  The fact that they even thought they needed to do a calendar
• 21:39
  audit is why. And it's awesome.
• 21:40
  It was absolutely awesome. So, but recognizing the stress
• 21:42
  is stress is something you're not going to avoid.
• 21:45
  It's just acknowledging what brings it to you.
• 21:47
  Correct, Because life is life and life will keep lifing.
• 21:49
  Every time so you listen, I knew you was going to come in here
• 21:52
  dropping the bars and all the venoms, right?
• 21:55
  So I'm like, as you're talking, I'm trying to find a pen because
• 21:58
  I was like, oh, I got to remember to ask him this, to ask
• 22:01
  him that because it's just coming so fast and it's so
• 22:04
  really, it's so very good. So I love what you're saying
• 22:07
  about awareness, right? And so even what you're
• 22:09
  describing, this is what I help my class with sometimes
• 22:11
  clinically, right? Like so then what is the issue?
• 22:14
  And so when we start sessions, I do what I call the tap in How
• 22:18
  are you feeling? How do you know and how and
• 22:20
  where are you experiencing getting your body and being
• 22:22
  right? And so if you know these things,
• 22:24
  you can label it. You know the context, sometimes
• 22:28
  the why and sometimes or the how, how do you know is based on
• 22:34
  what they are feeling in their bodies and being right.
• 22:37
  But we don't just stop there because then it's like, well, if
• 22:41
  we know that, that's the thing, right?
• 22:43
  So like I will use myself as an example.
• 22:45
  I get angry. Her name is Bridget, right?
• 22:49
  So like I try to protect people from Bridget.
• 22:51
  I'm in Chicago right now at the ladies lectureship with some of
• 22:54
  my sisters from church. And I was like, no, no, no, I
• 22:57
  gotta get a snack. I don't want y'all to meet
• 22:58
  Bridget. Y'all ain't never met her and
• 23:00
  it's some of y'all I've never met till today.
• 23:02
  And I we not going to let Bridget out.
• 23:04
  I'm going to go get a snack. But I know what I feel in my
• 23:08
  body when Bridget is starting to show up.
• 23:11
  I know her behaviors, right? Like and I just say that because
• 23:14
  I get really grouchy and you don't get the good energy from
• 23:17
  me. Like I shut down, I'm irritable.
• 23:20
  I really don't have nice things to say right.
• 23:23
  So so I had to I learned to be quiet with that, but that's that
• 23:27
  doesn't help it right? Like so where before it was just
• 23:30
  like I knew it, but I did nothing think about it.
• 23:33
  So knowing what it is, my body sends me signs and signals to
• 23:36
  say, hey, Bridget, is she knocking on the door?
• 23:39
  We want to do something about that and keep her at Bay.
• 23:42
  So I think that is very important.
• 23:44
  And with awareness, we cannot address what we won't
• 23:47
  acknowledge. So all change starts with
• 23:50
  awareness. So I love you for breaking that
• 23:53
  down in a simple way where I think it's digestible to people
• 23:56
  to to start there. And it doesn't have to be this
• 24:01
  huge thing either. There was something else that
• 24:03
  you said. I found my pen.
• 24:05
  I'm not going to miss nothing else.
• 24:08
  Not going to miss anything else. It was so good.
• 24:10
  If it comes back to me, I'll ask you.
• 24:12
  But let's talk about how the role of faith-based motivation
• 24:17
  in terms of creating lasting changes with like, healthy
• 24:21
  ethics. You know it.
• 24:22
  Alright, so there's so many different ways of looking at
• 24:25
  faith-based in my opinion. I know faith is faith, but when
• 24:29
  you say the word lasting, that changes it a little bit.
• 24:34
  OK. It's if you've never worked out
• 24:37
  a day in your life, there's a degree of trust you have to have
• 24:42
  with something outside of you to say, I'm about to start doing it
• 24:46
  right. It's just, it's just has to be
• 24:48
  because to walk into a space you've never been, I don't care
• 24:52
  how friendly you are with their the equipment you've never seen
• 24:55
  or never really used without a plan is tough.
• 24:59
  So I think you have to ask yourself, like how, where does
• 25:02
  help come from? Right?
• 25:05
  Like there's only also many YouTube videos you could watch
• 25:08
  somebody squatting before you have to go squat.
• 25:10
  And then you have to say, am I doing it right?
• 25:12
  Right. So where does your help come
• 25:14
  from? And I think oftentimes we have
• 25:16
  to look at the trust and the vulnerability of it all and say,
• 25:20
  like, I need help with this. Doing it by yourself is just
• 25:23
  arrogant. You know, it's to me.
• 25:27
  Don't get it wrong. You can go run right now.
• 25:29
  That's fine, right? But the idea of being
• 25:31
  intentional, excuse me, I think my, my camera just locked up on
• 25:35
  me. I apologize.
• 25:36
  My fault. My my connection was bad.
• 25:39
  OK, OK. I wasn't sure it was me.
• 25:42
  You said you can go run. But eventually, like, what next?
• 25:47
  You know what I'm saying? Unless that's your goal.
• 25:49
  If your goal isn't going to be a better runner, that's cool.
• 25:52
  But I think, I don't know, I just feel like it's, it gets
• 25:54
  arrogant. Well, we could do all these
• 25:56
  things by ourselves. We've always been a community
• 25:58
  minded people and we can get outside of black and white.
• 26:01
  But I you don't have to do it by yourself.
• 26:04
  You can you ain't got to. So anyway, I think with
• 26:07
  faith-based, I think it's the idea of asking God, like, how do
• 26:10
  I actually do what I say I want to do in the way you want me to
• 26:15
  do it? Because we try to do it in our
• 26:18
  own way and you can get injured or we try to do it in our own
• 26:22
  way as if meritocracy is a real thing.
• 26:24
  And then we feel like you're like, I'm going to get it, Like
• 26:28
  you get a badge of honor because you did it by yourself.
• 26:30
  It doesn't, it doesn't work like that.
• 26:31
  Every preacher needs a preacher, every coach.
• 26:33
  You're a coach, right? That's just what I believe,
• 26:36
  right? I believe that.
• 26:38
  I think with the lasting part, the second thing that you said,
• 26:42
  I don't think people understand you have to eat the elephant one
• 26:46
  by the time I don't, I don't think people.
• 26:49
  Yeah, that's. The yeah, I don't, I don't think
• 26:52
  they see it. Like I think what happens is
• 26:55
  like, I want to eat this entire meal.
• 26:57
  It's like what? Like what time do you wake up
• 27:01
  and when do you look at your e-mail and, and what's the first
• 27:04
  thing you do? Like, I think the smaller thing
• 27:07
  to do is to literally break your mornings down or your ending or
• 27:10
  your evenings down before we get to any workout conversations,
• 27:14
  right? Like are you praying in the
• 27:16
  morning? No, are you just breathing in
• 27:18
  the morning or are you just going straight to work?
• 27:21
  And often most of us go straight to work.
• 27:25
  I wake up earlier. I wake up early because I got
• 27:28
  responsibility, but that first fifteen, 2035 minutes is mine.
• 27:34
  You know, that's, that's all my I'm reading.
• 27:36
  I, I, I do a minute or a minute or five minute breathing.
• 27:41
  I shower, I pray, but that's my time.
• 27:45
  And what was the problem was I didn't have time to do that
• 27:48
  before. But you gotta make time if it's
• 27:49
  important. So for me, how I start my day
• 27:53
  and how I end my days on my own terms.
• 27:56
  Now, let me not lie to you. There's emails that might come
• 27:59
  out at 7:00 in the morning for me or 8:00 in the morning, but I
• 28:02
  wrote them and timing to go out that time.
• 28:04
  I'm not working. I don't look at the emails.
• 28:06
  I get to the office. So there there's a thing like I
• 28:09
  wanna own. Yeah, I wanna own my day.
• 28:11
  So to create a lasting impression, it's really like,
• 28:14
  how do I bake it in my day the entire time?
• 28:16
  But to start, I had to start small.
• 28:19
  Oh, this is so good. OK, OK.
• 28:22
  So I again, so much in there as you were talking about like this
• 28:27
  individually, individuality, having to do it on our own.
• 28:30
  And what came to mind is toxic individuality over community
• 28:35
  where we want all the credit. We want to say I was the one
• 28:39
  that did it, I was first or you just copying me, you know what I
• 28:43
  mean? That type of thing.
• 28:45
  When we are absolutely right, we came out of community.
• 28:49
  And then, of course, there's so many different things that have
• 28:52
  led to us breaking down to the breakdown of community and we
• 28:56
  are rebuilding it. So even community feels foreign
• 28:59
  to some people. It's more competition than
• 29:02
  community. But what people don't
• 29:03
  understand, when you are truly in community, if one elevate,
• 29:07
  everybody else gonna elevate too.
• 29:09
  And some people, they just want to be the one that's there on
• 29:13
  top that everyone's looking to. They want.
• 29:16
  The position is very selfish, right?
• 29:17
  That doesn't help the community. And then I heard you say
• 29:21
  something else. Am I doing it right?
• 29:24
  When I hear that, it takes my mind to perfectionism.
• 29:28
  And I think that alone can stop people from even doing it.
• 29:33
  So like, it really just depends on whoever is listening where
• 29:37
  they are in their journey, right?
• 29:39
  Because am I doing it right? It's going to stop somebody.
• 29:42
  They're not even going to do it right.
• 29:44
  And then you have the other person who is going to research
• 29:47
  and like do it properly. And then they'll be the one
• 29:49
  likely to take it back to community.
• 29:52
  Yeah, I. Agree.
• 29:53
  Yeah, yeah. And you also what you were, what
• 29:57
  you're saying, it requires vulnerability on a person
• 30:01
  because you have to be able to look at self, you have to be
• 30:04
  able to try to tap into that community because the help you
• 30:06
  need might be coming from somebody already in your
• 30:09
  community. Yeah, that part of vulnerability
• 30:12
  is super cool, right? I'm not, you know, I'm everybody
• 30:15
  knows I'm a little guy. I'm 52 like I'm small.
• 30:18
  Everybody don't know our audience only see what's in the
• 30:23
  camera and the energy bringing. I mean Act 65, but I I'm I know
• 30:28
  I'm little, but to see me lift is different, right?
• 30:32
  Like to see, because you're going to look and say, well, he
• 30:35
  can't well, I know technique. I can't, you know, I'm not the
• 30:38
  greatest, but powerful pound. I get busy, but it's it's almost
• 30:42
  like what he can do it. I gotta beat him, you know, I
• 30:45
  mean, it's like, well, no, you don't you got to beat yourself
• 30:47
  because that's embarrassing at some point, right?
• 30:50
  And then next thing you know, you never come back.
• 30:52
  And that that's why I don't like January 1st to January 30th
• 30:56
  because. Everybody.
• 30:58
  It's the. Best time of the year because
• 31:00
  everybody's ready to reset and everybody wants to get busy.
• 31:03
  And I want to welcome you to the space that that has given me
• 31:06
  life since 2012, right? Like come, come kick it with us.
• 31:09
  Let's go. And then at some point you see
• 31:12
  that you can't do what somebody who's been doing it for 5-10
• 31:16
  years has been doing. You're like, I'm going home.
• 31:18
  This is too intense for me. Well, scale it down.
• 31:20
  I can't, I can't squat like that.
• 31:22
  You sit every day. You know, it's, it's, it's that
• 31:25
  type of thing where where we literally don't make it make
• 31:29
  sense per SE, you know, And so it's like, well, I can't lift
• 31:33
  that. When you lift that, every time
• 31:35
  you go to the grocery store, you pick it up, you put it on top of
• 31:38
  your fridge or pick this water and you put it on the corner of
• 31:42
  your floor. Like that stuff we do every day.
• 31:44
  But we psych ourselves out because we're not vulnerable to
• 31:46
  the fact that I may not be as good as.
• 31:49
  But you showed up, you know, when I first started this
• 31:51
  workout thing. Yeah, when I first started, it
• 31:54
  was a trick. I was tricking myself.
• 31:56
  It was let me just get up and put my clothes on and then I was
• 32:00
  like, alright man, let me just get in the car.
• 32:03
  Alright, let me go. But I can come home and take a
• 32:05
  nap because that's my superpower.
• 32:06
  I could take a nap at any time now.
• 32:08
  And next thing you know, you're there and proximity matters,
• 32:12
  right? Like once you're in the space,
• 32:13
  it's like let's go and then you evolve.
• 32:15
  I believe it's let's go and I believe you evolve when you
• 32:19
  commit to it. But again, we're talking
• 32:20
  intentionality, we're talking awareness, definitely with
• 32:25
  vulnerability because you can't, you know, you got to be OK with
• 32:29
  your deficiencies, right? And say I'm going to work on
• 32:32
  those. There's some things in the gym
• 32:34
  I'm not good at. I come every day because it's
• 32:38
  not my choice to, to cherry pick.
• 32:40
  I went, I got to do this for me. I got I.
• 32:44
  Yeah, that's good. That's good.
• 32:45
  So I think this is naturally going to a very important thing
• 32:48
  and that's mindset. Let's really talk about that a
• 32:51
  little bit like the impact of mindset on really about breaking
• 32:56
  those cycles, right, like. Yeah.
• 32:59
  Like you said, psych ourselves. Out I I struggle with this one
• 33:04
  because I think we all have the right idea.
• 33:09
  We just have trash followed right like I, I think that's
• 33:13
  where it is. And again, it goes back to make
• 33:15
  time for Todd. But the reason that I think it
• 33:18
  works for me is how I lead is how I lead and work and also how
• 33:22
  I lead in life right. So for me, like if I know
• 33:26
  something's coming, you plan for it.
• 33:28
  It's just makes sense to me like if I know I got a family
• 33:31
  vacation coming up, I plan for it.
• 33:34
  Now there's things that happen. Let's be fair.
• 33:37
  But if you know, Thanksgiving hits and somebody's got to make
• 33:41
  the Mac and cheese, like at some point, it'll.
• 33:44
  Hit the same week every year you plan.
• 33:46
  For same thing will work if I know this report is due, you
• 33:50
  plan for it. But the other thing that I tell
• 33:52
  my team and I tell myself is you got to own it.
• 33:55
  There's some agency of this that you got to take responsibility
• 33:57
  for. So for me, the mindset set shift
• 34:02
  happened when I started talking about my goals, where people
• 34:06
  like to hold their goals or hold these good things to themselves
• 34:10
  because they're worried somebody's going to steal it or
• 34:12
  they're worried somebody's going to take, take it and make it
• 34:14
  better. And I remember in my doc
• 34:16
  program, my, my major professor saying to me, like, why don't
• 34:19
  you talk about your research? I was like, well, don't do that.
• 34:23
  He was like, why don't you talk about you being in school with
• 34:25
  your crew, like from back where you're from?
• 34:28
  I was like, I don't want to deal with that story of survivor's
• 34:31
  guilt, right? Or survivor's remorse.
• 34:33
  I don't, I don't want that. And he was like, so, so you
• 34:36
  choose not to speak about it, right?
• 34:39
  Then they have somebody else they can look up to, but not
• 34:41
  you. So you're being selfish.
• 34:43
  And I was like, whoa, hold on, bro.
• 34:45
  He elevated and said, and with your research, you act as if
• 34:49
  somebody is better than you. And then he challenged me.
• 34:53
  He said, Kyle, if we go, all right, people know I love
• 34:56
  clothes, so if we go to a mall, he said what store are you going
• 35:01
  to? I was like, I'm going to
• 35:02
  express. He said let's go to express
• 35:03
  together. So we go to express together.
• 35:05
  It's in front of the class and he said we're going to get the
• 35:08
  same outfit. I was like, alright.
• 35:10
  He said we're going to wear it on the same day to the same
• 35:12
  function. I said alright, cool.
• 35:14
  I love a good experience. So what's going to happen?
• 35:17
  And I said they'll never see. He was like, why don't they see?
• 35:20
  I said the way I wear it is going to be different.
• 35:22
  He said that's the point. No one can do it like you.
• 35:25
  So you need to start sharing more about what you're doing so
• 35:28
  people can challenge it, but that's also so you can make it
• 35:32
  better. I think the same thing with our
• 35:33
  goals. So I think our mindsets doesn't
• 35:35
  shit because we picked our we picked the people who agree with
• 35:38
  us that when we want to take a cheat day, they're like you,
• 35:41
  right? You deserve that it, but they
• 35:44
  don't challenge you. They don't tell you your fly is
• 35:46
  down when it's down. So I think you shift your
• 35:49
  mindset like set when when you start to really have agency of
• 35:53
  what's happening around you. But you that means you got to
• 35:56
  start talking about it. And I think that's really hard
• 35:59
  to say to people. I leave work at 4:30 to go to
• 36:02
  the gym. Why aren't you working?
• 36:04
  My supervisor says it's OK and I'm going to make it up out.
• 36:08
  I within my hours already. That means I got here early
• 36:12
  enough to leave it. For so it's, it's talking
• 36:15
  through your own strategy, it's having agency been planning for
• 36:20
  because you know, it's going to come like if you know that,
• 36:24
  that, that you want to work out, what are your days?
• 36:27
  You going to the gym, you know, every day, probably not
• 36:30
  sustainable, but if you talk about it, somebody will say
• 36:33
  that's a lot bro. That's all that seven days is a
• 36:36
  lot. Then they may, they may give you
• 36:40
  the grace and they may ask you, well, what do you do?
• 36:43
  I go three on, one off, 2 on, one off.
• 36:46
  Why do you do that? Because I'm 45 and I can't run
• 36:49
  like I used to. I can't move like I used to and
• 36:52
  I need a day. What do you do on that day?
• 36:55
  I actually stretch on that day. I never stretched.
• 36:58
  Cool, let's get to stretch it. Like I think that's the thing.
• 37:01
  We're talking about your goals or talking about what you're
• 37:04
  doing and how you're enjoying it or not.
• 37:06
  Enjoying it helps you shift your mindset in a way that you can
• 37:11
  build off of the world. That's so good.
• 37:13
  That's so good. Thank you for that.
• 37:15
  Yep, that's that's, that's really good.
• 37:17
  So now that we got minds mindset covered, how about finding the
• 37:22
  balance because it's easier than mindset shift?
• 37:25
  I'm all in. I'm going higher than the paint,
• 37:28
  whatever they think it. How do we work on finding that
• 37:31
  valve? You know, it is trial and error.
• 37:35
  It's less about balance, more about harmony, but it's
• 37:37
  definitely trial and error. It's it's what works for you.
• 37:47
  Yeah, yeah. Balance is if I take two things
• 37:50
  and I put it put it on a scale, they both equal in weight.
• 37:54
  So they're just as important at the exact same time.
• 37:57
  And I don't necessarily believe that.
• 37:58
  I think there's some degree of harmony that and I, I got
• 38:01
  stealing this idea. I forgot her name from author I
• 38:04
  made my staff read recently. But the idea is with harmony,
• 38:07
  they may not all be equal. You could be having a bad day,
• 38:10
  but you still got to do something right.
• 38:12
  So how do you make sure that the good rises during that time
• 38:16
  frame to support the bad? Because the bad could be super
• 38:19
  heavy. So I look at this as a little
• 38:21
  bit of harmony more than balance.
• 38:23
  Love that. And as you're saying, it's like
• 38:25
  the yin and Yang symbol made that much more sense to me, even
• 38:28
  though we look at things like, do you really process and like,
• 38:32
  interpret the image? But yeah, going back to finding
• 38:35
  the harmony so that we don't we're not operating in.
• 38:39
  Yeah, I it's taking inventory of your time.
• 38:41
  It really is. If nothing else from your
• 38:43
  listeners, they hear from me is do you make time for time you
• 38:46
  really, and that's actually knowing what is your inventory
• 38:49
  of your time that you have. Without that, I'm telling you
• 38:52
  it's just going to be a long road.
• 38:54
  It's just a long, long. Rd.
• 38:56
  You do got to start somewhere, right?
• 39:00
  But if you could break your life down to the three parts, you got
• 39:03
  work, you got family and you got you.
• 39:07
  Let's just say that for now, right?
• 39:09
  Well, how much time do you need to spend with your family?
• 39:11
  How much time do you normally spend with you?
• 39:12
  How much time do you spend with work?
• 39:13
  Work is usually going to outweigh everything and then
• 39:16
  family is going to outweigh everything.
• 39:17
  But if you find yourself not spending any time with you, then
• 39:22
  the harmony part is then how do I bring family into my fitness?
• 39:26
  That's the harmony part of that point, right?
• 39:27
  Because you're now asking, I need to do something for me, but
• 39:31
  I don't have time to do it for me.
• 39:33
  So who can I bring along for the ride?
• 39:34
  So at least I'm getting it done. So I'm not saying your life can
• 39:37
  be divided into 3. I'm saying for the purpose of
• 39:39
  this example, yeah, I got you. But yeah, so.
• 39:42
  So taking inventory of your time matters and then finding out or
• 39:47
  asking yourself, how much time should I give to this?
• 39:50
  Second thing you need to ask yourself is how much money you
• 39:52
  want to invest in it. Some gym memberships are
• 39:54
  expensive, you know, some are free.
• 39:58
  And a lot of us aren't even using the resources we got.
• 40:02
  A lot of us aren't even going to the doctor.
• 40:03
  But the point is, if you got a gym membership and you never use
• 40:07
  it, that's a thing. A lot of people actually bank on
• 40:10
  it. They bank on the fact that
• 40:11
  you'll pay for this membership and you'll never go.
• 40:14
  You'll pay for your car wash membership, but you'll never
• 40:16
  wash your car. You'll pay for this when you'll
• 40:18
  never show you pay for your insurance, but you never see a
• 40:20
  doctor. So they're banking on that.
• 40:21
  My challenge is to use everything you pay for, like
• 40:24
  taking inventory of your subscriptions and saying, how
• 40:28
  can I use it? So I think with the idea of a
• 40:31
  balance is that that time inventory is super important
• 40:35
  because we, that's our, that's my excuse.
• 40:36
  I hear the most, I don't have time.
• 40:40
  I, I think once you do that, once you sit back with that, and
• 40:44
  that could be with yourself, that could be in therapy, that
• 40:47
  could be with your crew, whatever it is, I think once you
• 40:51
  have an honest conversation, I think you'll know your starting
• 40:53
  point, right? Because at least at this point,
• 40:56
  it could be something small, and your crew can tell you that's
• 40:58
  not enough, right? Or your body will tell you
• 41:01
  that's not enough because you're just breathing.
• 41:03
  That you need to do more that you've grown there's room for
• 41:06
  experience yes yes yes. Love it, love it, love it.
• 41:10
  So what when you're thinking about this through fitness as an
• 41:15
  act of worship, right? Because remember, our bodies are
• 41:18
  a temple, right? It's the framework we're working
• 41:20
  with today. So like, how can we look at this
• 41:25
  as like a spiritual practice and just like practical ways to
• 41:28
  incorporate fitness into a faith centered lifestyle?
• 41:32
  You kind of you're, you're working in that direction with
• 41:34
  the harmony thing, but how do you think we can do that?
• 41:38
  There's moments of gratitude. I take like like every day,
• 41:41
  right? And, and I am, I'm son of a
• 41:44
  preacher. So it, it, it kind of instilled
• 41:46
  in me. Whoa.
• 41:48
  Hold, hold on. You do not get to sneak that in.
• 41:52
  Hey, never knew that you were APK on the I.
• 41:57
  Think you did on my AMEPK, matter of fact.
• 41:59
  Sir, I did not know. There's no way or if you told me
• 42:02
  it didn't stick, but I know I will never know going forward.
• 42:05
  So many people. Like, you know, they know my
• 42:07
  people. So.
• 42:08
  Yeah, yeah. So, yeah.
• 42:11
  But I start, you know, start today with gratitude.
• 42:13
  I think when you think about your fitness journey, right, and
• 42:15
  you think about like what you're trying to literally say to
• 42:19
  yourself to me, it's God. Like, can you, can you get me
• 42:23
  through this right? Or can you get me to the other
• 42:26
  side and trusting that you'll get there.
• 42:28
  That's why I get so mad when people kind of meander in a
• 42:31
  workout, right? They, they don't, they don't
• 42:34
  leave it on the floor is if they don't trust it, God's gonna
• 42:36
  protect them. God's gonna let help their
• 42:38
  breathe and God's won't, you know, mature them through the
• 42:40
  process. So, and I'm speaking
• 42:42
  specifically to a lot of high intensity things.
• 42:45
  But but it's, it's, oh, I, I think it's starting with
• 42:48
  gratitude. Like I'm grateful for the body I
• 42:51
  had and I, I'm not working out because I'm not grateful.
• 42:54
  I'm working out to actually show how grateful I am.
• 42:58
  Because if I lay around dormant and what happens, right, it
• 43:01
  Withers away, just like my talent, right?
• 43:04
  So I don't use it, you know, it Withers away.
• 43:07
  I'm not trying to be the the, the biggest person, you know,
• 43:12
  I'm not trying to be. I wanna look good.
• 43:15
  Let me keep it, Buck. I wanna I wanna look good but
• 43:18
  but I'm not. I mean, it's possible, so why
• 43:21
  not? And a lot of people do a whole
• 43:23
  lot, and they go out of their way too now.
• 43:25
  But yeah, but it's, I'm, I'm just grateful.
• 43:27
  So I think like when you think about an act of worship, it has
• 43:30
  to be intentional what you're doing, right?
• 43:33
  So I think when I bring up gratitude, I'm really telling
• 43:37
  your listeners, like before you start the workout, just be
• 43:39
  thankful for the moment, right? Just just take some time and
• 43:43
  once your intentional or you, when you set your intention, I
• 43:47
  think that matters, right? Hey, I'm thankful for this
• 43:49
  moment. What's your intent of this
• 43:50
  workout? I want to get all I got.
• 43:52
  I want to be present in the moment.
• 43:53
  It takes a lot of of of of of of centerness for you to actually
• 43:58
  make that happen, right? For you to, for your mind not to
• 44:01
  be with your babies, for your mind not to be with the debt you
• 44:04
  owe to the IRS. So your mind not to be up to all
• 44:08
  the bad guy. Like that's a fake based journey
• 44:11
  like this. Give me this moment in time
• 44:13
  where I can just be, but I don't want to be by my sub.
• 44:16
  One guy there with me. That's valuable.
• 44:19
  Yeah. Yes, yes, yes.
• 44:21
  That's so good, so Rich. And I also heard a undertone in
• 44:25
  there of discipline and being disciplined in the process.
• 44:29
  Yeah, that's really good. If you, if not, and sorry to cut
• 44:32
  you off, I think if not, like you're just working, right?
• 44:36
  If you're just working, you're not just, I mean, if you're
• 44:38
  doing a workout, you're not disciplined.
• 44:39
  All you're doing is working out in my opinion, like 'cause you
• 44:42
  haven't given up anything. You're just working out like,
• 44:46
  like, what are you willing to give up to get it?
• 44:48
  You know, that Snickers, that ginger ale, like, like that one
• 44:53
  day where you just don't want to go, that 'cause you don't want
• 44:55
  me embarrassed. What are you giving up to get?
• 44:57
  And it could like, like, put the example before.
• 45:01
  It could be your own personal time because you want to bring
• 45:03
  other people along. But that's OK.
• 45:06
  Yeah, and that's interesting 'cause sometimes we want to
• 45:10
  bring people along, not for them as much as it is for us and our
• 45:14
  codependence. And even what you talked about,
• 45:17
  or you mentioned this earlier about having like survivor's
• 45:20
  remorse or survivor's guilt or just, I guess I'm gonna call it
• 45:24
  Thriver's remorse. I.
• 45:26
  Like that? I already hear today Thriver's
• 45:28
  remorse. Yes, because then if I've
• 45:32
  changed, who am I, who becomes my community?
• 45:35
  And like people are in fear of that and like it with with
• 45:38
  community and sometimes what that means.
• 45:40
  And to be able to have this discipline, to be able to have
• 45:43
  these practices and really honor your body as a temple.
• 45:46
  Sometimes what you're speaking and doing can be very radical
• 45:51
  because people are like, I remember when I first stopped
• 45:53
  eating pork. Let me tell you something.
• 45:56
  My family is from Jackson, Ms. Baby and eat everything OK.
• 46:02
  And my aunt, shout out to my Auntie Pop, Love you her ham.
• 46:07
  Listen, it's from the I can't, I don't remember a time of my life
• 46:11
  where I did not love her ham. And being at her house on
• 46:13
  Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever it was, she would make
• 46:15
  that ham. You know, you had to put the
• 46:17
  pineapple slices on it, all the things, right.
• 46:19
  And I came back home because I think I was.
• 46:22
  Yeah, I had moved away. So this is when I was first,
• 46:24
  early in the field, University of Maryland, first year working
• 46:27
  there. And I came home for Thanksgiving
• 46:30
  and she got the slice in that ham because she just all these
• 46:33
  years, like this is 20 something years, Jeannie have her plate
• 46:37
  out for that ham. And I was like, Oh no, I'm not
• 46:41
  going to have any. She looked at me like I had
• 46:43
  cussed at her and I was like, I don't eat pork anymore.
• 46:46
  She's like, what you mean when I tell you her feelings looked
• 46:50
  hurt. I had no idea that she had me in
• 46:54
  mind when she made that ham that, you know, cooking and
• 46:59
  things like that. And I get it because it's in me
• 47:01
  too, right? It's also an act of love and act
• 47:04
  of service to show those that who you care about that you
• 47:07
  know, that you do care about them.
• 47:08
  And she thought about me, but like, I was like, wow, I didn't
• 47:11
  realize how much I was shaking things up.
• 47:16
  So talk about that, how that it can be radical and to help our
• 47:20
  listeners, our audience prepare for that.
• 47:22
  Right, I think people think you're joking, right?
• 47:24
  Like when you do that, like I'm not doing this anymore.
• 47:26
  What do you mean not doing this? I know you, you talking about,
• 47:28
  you know, I mean that one guy that you grew up with that said
• 47:31
  I'm faithful now. Like, what are you talking
• 47:33
  about? Like it's, it's that it's like
• 47:35
  it people, people who could judge you.
• 47:38
  And it's almost like, like, well, why did I even tell you in
• 47:41
  the 1st place? I got you.
• 47:42
  You supposed to believe in me? Not the ribbing of it all.
• 47:44
  Yep. But the radical like idea that
• 47:48
  being radical is real just because, as my mother would say
• 47:51
  to me, like your name is your name.
• 47:52
  And people only know like who you've been.
• 47:55
  They don't really know like where you're actually going per
• 47:58
  SE. I think some people can say
• 48:00
  like, oh, I see it in you and I do believe in that.
• 48:03
  But why often if you've been the person who who is done nothing
• 48:08
  physical to jump out and say I'm doing something physical is
• 48:13
  like, no, you're not like I know, I know you right?
• 48:17
  So but, but it's also unfortunately, like you probably
• 48:21
  haven't had it out there where you can show that you can
• 48:25
  actually accomplish it, right? Like, so it just sounds like it
• 48:29
  sounds like tongue in cheek. He's just talking.
• 48:31
  He, he, he really ain't about it.
• 48:33
  And. They literally say that.
• 48:34
  Sometimes, and I think that's the issue.
• 48:36
  I think that's the issue being outcome based, right?
• 48:38
  If you don't have something done by a certain amount of time,
• 48:42
  people are like told you, you know, that's why I like like
• 48:45
  with doc students, I never asked them when they're finishing,
• 48:48
  right? Because the moment you ask and
• 48:51
  they're like, I'm finishing next month, like why Are you sure?
• 48:54
  And then you get to that one committee member that says you
• 48:56
  like you're not ready. It it hurts, it's a it's a
• 48:59
  bummer. And that's why people are Abd
• 49:01
  from longer than they need to be Abd sending with fitness.
• 49:04
  I would argue right, like or that that journey.
• 49:07
  A lot of people have said I'm going to be this in six months,
• 49:10
  seven months, 8 months, because I'm outcome based.
• 49:13
  And then you get there and you're not there and people like
• 49:15
  I told you. But there's progress that I
• 49:18
  think people miss a long way, and that's huge.
• 49:22
  Like, yeah, I didn't get to the I don't know.
• 49:26
  I was just thinking like if someone lost, wanted to lose 100
• 49:28
  lbs, right? You didn't get to 100, but you
• 49:30
  got to 65. Hello.
• 49:33
  You see you, you see the proof it's working.
• 49:35
  I just got to tweak a few things and I'm going to keep.
• 49:38
  Going I think that's the part when you where I was going with
• 49:40
  the radical part. We haven't had a unified,
• 49:42
  collective shared vision of what success looks like.
• 49:46
  So it's radical because it's like this big lifestyle change
• 49:49
  has happened in one moment, right?
• 49:52
  But you haven't seen the incremental changes that brought
• 49:55
  you to the place that said I don't want to eat pork anymore,
• 49:58
  right? Like there's something that
• 49:59
  happened that. Led you up.
• 50:00
  I wanted it, yeah. But but something happened along
• 50:04
  the way though. They said I'm not doing this.
• 50:07
  But all people saw was you're not doing it.
• 50:10
  It's not the what what happened, you know what thinking about it
• 50:15
  and this is going on. This is going on.
• 50:17
  And I started reading a little bit.
• 50:19
  I'm getting a little bit more aware and I want to be more
• 50:22
  intentional about what's happening and I want to be a
• 50:24
  little more disciplined and I'm trying to find some balance in
• 50:27
  my life. All those things we've talked
• 50:29
  about throughout this whole conversation LED up to the
• 50:31
  decision, but only people, the people only see the decision.
• 50:35
  So it's like, hey, what happened to you?
• 50:38
  Well, a lot. Let's talk about it, right?
• 50:40
  That's an agency that I was sharing earlier.
• 50:43
  That's that planning that I was sharing earlier.
• 50:45
  It's a valuable thing to to do to Share your story.
• 50:49
  We don't do that well either. But you know, I think this,
• 50:52
  hopefully with this podcast, people recognize that, you know,
• 50:55
  it's valuable to say, I got on and got off and got back on and
• 50:59
  got off and now I'm back again and we'll see what happens,
• 51:01
  right? Because you might catch a friend
• 51:04
  that says me too. Let me be your accountability
• 51:06
  partner. How, why, why did you start your
• 51:09
  journey? I started because I'm wanting to
• 51:11
  get better. I got a high, I got a type 2
• 51:13
  diabetes. I'm really trying to be here for
• 51:15
  my kids. Me too.
• 51:16
  Now we have a connection. We have a sheer language of a
• 51:18
  bond. So let's do it together.
• 51:20
  Now we got some accountability rocking and then we can check on
• 51:23
  each other. Oh, we got a feedback loop now.
• 51:25
  Like it's something about community that matters with the
• 51:28
  speaking about being intentional is speaking about being
• 51:34
  disciplined, all those things. But I think it looks radical
• 51:36
  because we only see the outcome, you know, we don't, we don't see
• 51:41
  the story. Yeah, that's good.
• 51:43
  And that I know you think that that they they know you, but I
• 51:51
  don't. I think people misjudge because
• 51:54
  it's almost like they're saying you can't outgrow the
• 51:57
  limitations I've set for you, which in a lot of times could be
• 52:01
  limitations that they have set for themselves and sometimes
• 52:06
  even in our communities, right? Like sometimes that's where our
• 52:09
  biggest hurdles and barriers and challenges can come from, which
• 52:13
  connects the mindset, right? Like no one's ever done it.
• 52:17
  I know you. I've seen how what you've done
• 52:18
  all these years. So they are using data, right to
• 52:22
  predict it, but they're forgetting a real key part.
• 52:27
  You are you, and what God put on the inside of you is unique to
• 52:31
  you. And you know, you may not share
• 52:35
  that, or God may tell you to just be quiet.
• 52:37
  Yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah, because I'm like that,
• 52:41
  that I know you so like it it it's like the cousin to to
• 52:46
  what's the what's the other one that people use in a way.
• 52:49
  Oh, I don't want to give you false hope.
• 52:52
  Like those two things are related.
• 52:54
  So you'd rather I have no hope essentially is what you're
• 52:58
  saying. Yeah, yeah, I agree.
• 53:01
  Yeah, I agree. Yeah, yeah.
• 53:04
  So, so those, those things where we think it's protection, right?
• 53:08
  Because I, I get that. I know you was like, I don't
• 53:11
  want you to get your feelings hurt if it doesn't work out.
• 53:13
  That's why I said they're related.
• 53:15
  They're cousin. I don't know how closely they're
• 53:16
  related, but it's of a similar mindset.
• 53:19
  And it can come from those who really care about us and they
• 53:23
  think they're protecting us when really they're clipping.
• 53:25
  Our wings, yeah. And we haven't had time to
• 53:28
  figure out whole nother situation, a whole nother
• 53:30
  conversation. Like how do you challenge back?
• 53:33
  Like we just haven't figured that out.
• 53:34
  We're we're so defensive of our our own actions or inactions
• 53:38
  that it is more of a us to make an excuse.
• 53:41
  And we haven't said, hey, you hurt my feelings.
• 53:43
  What like can we talk about it? It's usually you hurt my
• 53:46
  feelings. We're not friends anymore.
• 53:47
  And then you you put your back against the wall.
• 53:49
  You're fighting at the corner. But being able to say, hey, like
• 53:53
  when you said you look a little thick, that didn't, that didn't
• 53:56
  make me feel good. Tell me what you were actually
• 53:59
  saying to me, right? Were you saying that I, I, I
• 54:02
  look unhealthy? Are you saying that, you know,
• 54:05
  you think I need to work out? Do you know I I changed my
• 54:07
  eating habits like. And I wouldn't even ask all
• 54:10
  those questions. What were you saying?
• 54:12
  Because it's on that person who from whom it came instead of you
• 54:17
  trying to guess. And what you're describing right
• 54:19
  there. That's a lot of times the
• 54:20
  narrative that goes on in our mind after the fact when we
• 54:23
  haven't expressed in the moment that our things have been hurt
• 54:26
  for because we process at a different speed, like when we're
• 54:30
  quiet and settle down. Like, hold on, what they say to
• 54:33
  me. Why?
• 54:35
  And then that's the narrative that can start going in our
• 54:38
  minds and we need to just put that back on them.
• 54:41
  And sometimes you got to pay attention to the source from
• 54:44
  which the comments comes. The one problem you think is
• 54:48
  thicker than you. Yeah, I think it's I think, I
• 54:50
  think it's all valuable, like understanding what you heard and
• 54:53
  what they said all that right. So, but we haven't had, I think
• 54:57
  there's some trauma in it because when we're going into
• 54:59
  this journey and we're really trying to really make a radical
• 55:02
  change, people are belittling the small steps around the way.
• 55:06
  And then it becomes it's only about the big deal, but the big
• 55:09
  deals. That's that's, that's small.
• 55:12
  Think about the road trip last part, like when I go on a road
• 55:15
  trip, I got that's understood. Anybody who wants to like like
• 55:19
  work out or set a goal, but use this about working out.
• 55:22
  And again, I'm not the greatest workout guy, but hear me out.
• 55:25
  If we were to say right now, me and you, doc, we're gonna we're
• 55:29
  gonna go to to on a road trip. We're gonna drive though like
• 55:32
  you pick a city where you want to go, like you're where would
• 55:34
  you want to? Go like I'm like, where's it
• 55:36
  going? My machination is me and I'm
• 55:38
  like you tell. Me where you want to go?
• 55:42
  I want to oh this, this would be a road trip.
• 55:44
  I want to go to Arizona so I can either go to Sedona or go see
• 55:48
  the Grand. So, so we going to rock out, we
• 55:50
  going to get in the car, probably my car, you know, I
• 55:53
  mean, I'll let you let you chill for a minute.
• 55:55
  We're going to drive it out. Since we drive it out, we got to
• 55:58
  get snacks. So we're going to pick up some
• 55:59
  snacks. They don't got to be healthy.
• 56:00
  We're just going to get there, right.
• 56:03
  And then as we're driving, since you're coming from the East
• 56:06
  Coast, you know, I mean, I got to go to you come back, I get a
• 56:10
  flat, right? I got a flat tire.
• 56:13
  Do we go back home or do we get a change, get a change, we get
• 56:16
  the tire changed and we keep? Because you still got to get a
• 56:18
  change to go home. Yeah, so we get a change.
• 56:19
  We keep rocking as we keep rocking.
• 56:21
  Next thing you know. Amen.
• 56:23
  Keep it a bug. I'm sleepy.
• 56:24
  Do we go home or do we just stop and take a nap?
• 56:27
  We stop and take a nap or if I feel like.
• 56:29
  Driving So, so then we keep it rocking.
• 56:31
  Next thing you know, we, we, we get pulled over by the police.
• 56:35
  Do we go home? Do we just, you know, take a
• 56:37
  ticket, keep it rocking? I I see what you're doing here.
• 56:41
  All these barriers, how close are we when we get pulled?
• 56:44
  Over we try like we we in Texas like we rocking we all we are
• 56:48
  close. OK, well then I'm say let's keep
• 56:51
  going. Well, even still you too far
• 56:53
  from home we keep. Going, I think that's the thing,
• 56:55
  like then we get there, we have a blast, but then we come back.
• 56:59
  The story probably should be about the trip, right, like the
• 57:04
  journey. But what we do is we talk about
• 57:06
  what we did in Arizona. We don't talk about like, man,
• 57:09
  we got pulled over. Like remember what happened when
• 57:13
  like so I think that's the thing with fitness, right?
• 57:16
  Like we only talk about when we made weight.
• 57:18
  We don't talk about, I mean, at one time you look stupid with
• 57:20
  your with shorts on when you made that one time.
• 57:22
  Like, like it's radical because it literally makes it make
• 57:26
  sense. It's radical because it it takes
• 57:28
  a fuller picture of what we're doing.
• 57:31
  It's not just about we went to Arizona, we drove to Arizona, we
• 57:35
  had fun, we talked and on the way we spent more time in the
• 57:38
  car than we did at our destination.
• 57:41
  But the destination was important.
• 57:43
  But the trip, man, that was it. So I think that's where we talk
• 57:47
  radical, we're talking that to. Yes, love that.
• 57:50
  That was so good and I love a good example and just like to
• 57:53
  take us through it, right? That's exactly how it goes.
• 57:56
  And that is indicative of the different barriers we face,
• 57:59
  whether it's fitness, whether it's going back to school,
• 58:02
  whether it's relation like we're going to be faced with barriers
• 58:06
  and what are we going to do? Are we going to turn around and
• 58:08
  go back or we going to keep going.
• 58:11
  So I, what I got from that was definitely keep going.
• 58:16
  So we talked already like about community and accountability and
• 58:21
  as well as like, just like spirituality in general.
• 58:24
  So I want to get a little more personal, right?
• 58:27
  Talk to us a little bit about your personal journey of
• 58:30
  integrating like faith and fitness.
• 58:32
  Yeah, mine is different. I was never a fitness guy
• 58:35
  growing up. I ran track in high school
• 58:38
  because colleges said I needed some type of extracurricular and
• 58:43
  I knew I wanted to go to college and I picked track cause girls
• 58:46
  showed up and I was like, you know, that's a win win.
• 58:49
  So I, I didn't have a definition of org or a true destination of
• 58:54
  what I was trying to do other than to fulfill the requirements
• 58:57
  to go to school. So my journey really didn't
• 58:59
  start. I mentioned it early until like
• 59:01
  2012. Like I was in, I was in my doc
• 59:04
  program. Friend of mine hit me up and
• 59:07
  said I see a Groupon for this CrossFit thing you should try.
• 59:10
  And I was like, Nah, that looks intense.
• 59:13
  He was like, we should, you know, $50.
• 59:15
  I'm like, OK, well, $50, let's go.
• 59:17
  And so we did it and we did it for about like a month and
• 59:22
  'cause it was 30 days. And then when it ended, I really
• 59:26
  feel like was like in love with it.
• 59:27
  So this is dope. And that's some sport per SE,
• 59:30
  right? And then they said, here's how
• 59:33
  much it will cost. And they put the cost on the
• 59:35
  table. And I was like, I'm a cop.
• 59:37
  It I ain't got it, you know, So another Groupon, another Groupon
• 59:42
  I hit for a different gym, but it was CrossFit Groupon was
• 59:44
  popping back in the day and. It was.
• 59:48
  It still exists. I don't know how the number is
• 59:50
  doing. So I jump in it and I'm like hey
• 59:54
  I really want to do this but I want to be above board and let
• 59:57
  you know. I just did 30 days with another
• 1:00:01
  gym. I don't know how this CrossFit
• 1:00:03
  thing work. I don't know if y'all are
• 1:00:04
  friends or something like that. I don't want you to feel like I
• 1:00:06
  am using you. He was like try it for 2.
• 1:00:09
  Different things, let's go. So I get there and I work out
• 1:00:13
  for the whole month and I've been talking to him the whole
• 1:00:16
  time about the cost, but it was almost the same.
• 1:00:20
  Alright, so I'm like, I'm not going to be able to do this when
• 1:00:22
  the year is out and actually pray.
• 1:00:24
  Like I really want to do something other than working
• 1:00:27
  school, other than working school.
• 1:00:30
  And this is helping me find that harmony that I was looking for.
• 1:00:34
  So when the 30 days ended, he said you'll never believe it.
• 1:00:38
  I am about to buy the gym. I'm like, oh, you got to buy it.
• 1:00:42
  He's like, yeah, he said, so you technically are like one of my
• 1:00:47
  first, like you're a part of the first family.
• 1:00:50
  Yeah. So what we going to is for you
• 1:00:54
  the rate I quoted you, we're not going to do that.
• 1:00:56
  We're going to do something less.
• 1:00:57
  So let's. So let's imagine I'm correct if
• 1:01:00
  the rate he quoted me was like 100, he's like, I'm going to
• 1:01:02
  give you like 75, but you got unlimited access in the gym.
• 1:01:05
  And I was like, huh, The excuse was it's still expensive.
• 1:01:11
  But the difference was I actually didn't pray for it to
• 1:01:13
  be like $50.00. I prayed for it to be
• 1:01:15
  affordable. Oh, because I wanted to do
• 1:01:18
  something right. I still wanted to work.
• 1:01:20
  So I was like, bet like, honestly, I'll do it.
• 1:01:23
  He said the only thing that's contingent, just so you know, is
• 1:01:28
  you and your friend that you've been bringing have to start like
• 1:01:30
  you're, you're on a, a couples membership.
• 1:01:32
  We're not a couple, but we're on a couples membership.
• 1:01:35
  I said, so we both get in for 75.
• 1:01:37
  They were like, yeah. And I was like, that was that's
• 1:01:41
  a blessing. So next thing you know, like,
• 1:01:43
  not only do I have a new community, I watch a prayer get
• 1:01:47
  answered, right? I wanted to do something right.
• 1:01:50
  And I asked for it to be affordable.
• 1:01:54
  And it became affordable for at least whatever season I was in.
• 1:01:59
  And next thing you know, it opened up and I was able to do
• 1:02:03
  it. Not the original gym I went to,
• 1:02:05
  right? CrossFit is CrossFit, but the
• 1:02:07
  second gym. And I think that made me just
• 1:02:09
  kind of look at it a little differently.
• 1:02:12
  Like what am I willing to talk about, pray about, ask for
• 1:02:16
  because you don't know until you do.
• 1:02:18
  So I think that's the beginning of that little, not little, but
• 1:02:21
  that journey for me because I literally watched a prayer get
• 1:02:24
  answered and on my wall in my office, there's a picture of me
• 1:02:29
  looking down graduation regalia and, and everybody's like
• 1:02:36
  cheering around me and I was praying and I, and I remember
• 1:02:40
  that prayer because I kept saying God, I asked for this.
• 1:02:42
  Like that was like the, the theme that ran through through
• 1:02:47
  that entire moment of race. So I was like, I asked for this.
• 1:02:50
  I asked for some affordability because I'm broke.
• 1:02:53
  I'm a broke college student trying to work out.
• 1:02:55
  I asked to be doctor Boom, and you provided a way.
• 1:02:58
  I asked for it to get paid for and and the school basically
• 1:03:01
  paid for my degree. Now it's real, right?
• 1:03:04
  Like it's, it's a thing because it's the lights are on, it's
• 1:03:08
  hot. Like I'm seeing it all happen.
• 1:03:10
  And I, I got overwhelmed. So when everybody was looking
• 1:03:12
  up, cheering, I'm praying. And it's because I was reminded
• 1:03:15
  like I asked for this. And it's weird how God's
• 1:03:18
  favorite works, right? So, so it may not have been like
• 1:03:21
  the timing I wanted because I asked for the degree.
• 1:03:24
  It took me a little longer than I said I was gonna work.
• 1:03:26
  I I thought I was gonna work. Yeah, I asked for the degree.
• 1:03:29
  I understand that. God, I defended and didn't have
• 1:03:31
  a job when I came back. So technically I'm I'm, I'm
• 1:03:34
  homeless, but I asked and got he gave it to me, but he also gave
• 1:03:38
  me provision and favors. So I think it all the fitness
• 1:03:42
  thing really worked for me because it reminded me you asked
• 1:03:47
  and then it started to show me like what does sacrifice look
• 1:03:49
  like, right? Like what does it look like to
• 1:03:52
  to when you diet? Diet to me is just a fancy word
• 1:03:54
  for sacrifice, right? Like what are you giving up?
• 1:03:56
  What are you not doing? So so it was I, you start to
• 1:04:01
  realize I can't run as hard. I drank the day before.
• 1:04:04
  Like it's certain things you realize that you can't do.
• 1:04:06
  So it's like, alright, well shift your lifestyle a little
• 1:04:09
  bit, but it's, it's, it's for the greater.
• 1:04:12
  That was so good. It was like story time with
• 1:04:14
  Doctor. Lewis, appreciate it.
• 1:04:17
  Yes, but I heard you say something that popped out to me
• 1:04:20
  because you were talking about just like God and realizing that
• 1:04:22
  prayers were answered and you said it was a little bit
• 1:04:26
  invalidating, whether you recognize it or not, when you
• 1:04:29
  were like, I asked for this, I had the degree, but I didn't
• 1:04:31
  have a job afterwards, Right, But what?
• 1:04:34
  That's not what you prayed for. 2A perspective shift would tell
• 1:04:37
  you. God gave you guys.
• 1:04:39
  I don't know how much time in between getting your job or
• 1:04:43
  starting your job because obviously you're here with us
• 1:04:46
  today and you holding it down at Grand Valley.
• 1:04:48
  Yes, they need you. We need you.
• 1:04:49
  So sometimes we again, it's that finished thing that you're
• 1:04:53
  talking about, the part of the outcome.
• 1:04:55
  OK, you got this now. You got the job now baby, you
• 1:04:57
  need rest after a doctorate. To to be at your, your
• 1:05:01
  listenership here. Like it wasn't invalidating for
• 1:05:03
  me because what I actually learned is I would have sat
• 1:05:07
  there like I would have, I would have stayed there.
• 1:05:11
  And God moved me out of that because I still had to finish my
• 1:05:14
  edits. I still had to do so many
• 1:05:17
  things. But when I lost it, I was forced
• 1:05:19
  to go like to get busy because I had a timeline.
• 1:05:23
  What do you mean when you say you?
• 1:05:25
  Lost. So I was in Canada working on my
• 1:05:27
  dissertation and an internship. I was at Ryerson University in
• 1:05:31
  Toronto. Beautiful city.
• 1:05:35
  Yeah, this job, another story about asking.
• 1:05:38
  They, they, they shared that they were going to pay me.
• 1:05:41
  This is my last semester and my doc program.
• 1:05:43
  They're going to pay me for the summer.
• 1:05:45
  It's probably not a lot, so say like $6000, but they're going to
• 1:05:49
  put me up downtown Toronto and you get to like work for the
• 1:05:54
  summer. They called me probably, let's
• 1:05:57
  say they call me, let's say around May, beginning of May.
• 1:06:02
  I've already bought my ticket in March ish to call and say, hey,
• 1:06:05
  unfortunately we can't pay for you to come.
• 1:06:09
  Your visa never got approved. We can't pay.
• 1:06:13
  I said, what are you saying? And they said, well you could
• 1:06:16
  still come, we just can't get, we can't pay.
• 1:06:19
  I said, well what can you do? And they said, well, we could
• 1:06:23
  put you up in the same apartment that we're going to put you in.
• 1:06:27
  We can get you a phone from the university so you can call back
• 1:06:30
  and forth. You we can get you a gym
• 1:06:32
  membership because we heard you like the gym, but we can't
• 1:06:35
  physically pay you. I said, I see you in May.
• 1:06:39
  So I get there and as I'm there, I'm writing and this is the
• 1:06:42
  first time my data started speaking for you.
• 1:06:45
  When you start coding, you're looking at the wall or the floor
• 1:06:49
  if you're old school and you're like, what am I looking at?
• 1:06:52
  Eventually it clicks. It hit you like also now I'm
• 1:06:54
  looking at that. Well, that happened.
• 1:06:56
  So I called my people and said hey, I'm my major professor, I
• 1:07:01
  think I'm done. He said send it to me, he read
• 1:07:04
  it in a weekend. He said that's it, fly home,
• 1:07:09
  let's defend it. I said when he said fly home,
• 1:07:14
  give it about two weeks, get your committee situated, we'll
• 1:07:16
  defend it. I was like, alright, it's a
• 1:07:18
  little longer so say 3 weeks. So since my committee came home,
• 1:07:22
  which again blessing of the school couldn't pay for me pay
• 1:07:26
  for my flight home. Say you about to go what
• 1:07:28
  somebody go defend. They say we're going to pay for
• 1:07:30
  that. So they pay for me to fly home.
• 1:07:32
  I I come into I get ready to defend the date of my defense.
• 1:07:36
  They say you can't defend your dissertation.
• 1:07:38
  I said why not? They say you're not registering
• 1:07:39
  classes right now. You're registered in an
• 1:07:41
  internship, which is different, so you have to be registered in
• 1:07:44
  class. So now I got to pay money.
• 1:07:46
  I ain't got to register in a class and then defend my
• 1:07:49
  dissertation. I remember those.
• 1:07:52
  Days too defend my dissertation. I'm still a graduate assistant,
• 1:07:55
  so I'm full time in grad life, so I don't have a job, but I'm
• 1:08:01
  full time and my contract's been renewed for the next year.
• 1:08:03
  Kyle defends. Kyle becomes stock.
• 1:08:06
  Kyle goes home. The next day, I get a phone
• 1:08:09
  call. Hey, Boom.
• 1:08:10
  No, not next day, but 222 days later, I get a phone call.
• 1:08:15
  The weekend later, excuse me. I get a phone call.
• 1:08:17
  Hey, Boom. Congratulations.
• 1:08:19
  Heard you came down to defend. It was the director of housing.
• 1:08:21
  I said yeah, man. He said, well, doctor.
• 1:08:23
  Boom, man. Nice man.
• 1:08:25
  So good. This has a ring to it like man.
• 1:08:28
  Thanks, brother. What you call it?
• 1:08:32
  I kind of said, let's get to this.
• 1:08:34
  This you, you butt. Me up for work, you say?
• 1:08:36
  Unfortunately, now that you're doctor, boom, you're not a grad
• 1:08:39
  student anymore. And since you're not a grad
• 1:08:41
  student, you can't have your graduate assistantship, so we're
• 1:08:45
  going to rescind your offer. I live where I work, so you're
• 1:08:49
  telling me the happiest time of my life.
• 1:08:51
  I'm now homeless. I'm like, all right, well, what?
• 1:08:55
  So I I pull this bigger story than that.
• 1:08:58
  But but for your listeners, just know I bowed out gracefully.
• 1:09:01
  I was like, you got it, you know, I mean, but now I'm
• 1:09:04
  sitting in Canada knowing I got about a month or two left, a
• 1:09:07
  month and a half left and next thing you know, I, I don't have
• 1:09:09
  a home to go to, you know, I mean, so.
• 1:09:13
  Now you, you got a home because God.
• 1:09:14
  Got you, But I did. It in the physical, in the
• 1:09:18
  material. So got that, consulted with some
• 1:09:21
  folks, realize how dope my crew is and got to writing.
• 1:09:26
  Yeah, yeah. And, and next thing you know, I
• 1:09:28
  was already docked, but my edits had to be approved by a certain
• 1:09:30
  time before I walked the stage. So anyway, I didn't take it as
• 1:09:34
  invalid. I took it as it really made me
• 1:09:37
  say it's time to work because you have your, your timing is
• 1:09:41
  limited. But I also got some stuff I want
• 1:09:43
  you to do. And I think that was God's way
• 1:09:45
  of, of saying or having that real conversation with me
• 1:09:49
  because I, I think I would have, I think I would have waited the
• 1:09:52
  whole year. I would have took my my little
• 1:09:53
  time to write, edit, write it so.
• 1:09:57
  You see see, God knows his children because I I've had many
• 1:10:01
  of those similar type of moments where I would have been
• 1:10:05
  comfortable. I would have took it my page
• 1:10:08
  when God's like thank you people waiting for you, let's go where
• 1:10:11
  he had to make me uncomfortable. He had to make situations happen
• 1:10:15
  that forced me to move right. That where you're not, you're
• 1:10:19
  you're not supposed to be. And so you know to on the
• 1:10:22
  service. It's like what, I'm homeless.
• 1:10:25
  Like what? I just had a contract.
• 1:10:27
  I just had my next year kind of mapped out.
• 1:10:29
  Didn't have to worry about it. Now I got a month to get it
• 1:10:31
  together. Some people would have stopped
• 1:10:33
  right there, but when those things happen, when God is
• 1:10:38
  stripping things away, it's not punishment.
• 1:10:40
  And so many people end up thinking it's punishment and no,
• 1:10:44
  he's making space because how can you receive if you got an
• 1:10:47
  offer in hand? He said give me that so he can
• 1:10:50
  filter your hands up with something bigger.
• 1:10:53
  Facts. Something better, something
• 1:10:56
  handcrafted just for Doctor Kyle Boone, who prayed for this.
• 1:11:02
  And I would give him double for his trouble, and I'm going to
• 1:11:08
  bless him exceedingly and abundantly.
• 1:11:10
  Exactly what? Sounds like a good story that's
• 1:11:13
  so good. See storyteller Dr. But we might
• 1:11:15
  just have to have you on from time to time just to do story
• 1:11:19
  time and I love a good story. And did we even finish the whole
• 1:11:24
  question? No, because I asked you about
• 1:11:27
  what that meant, integrating faith and.
• 1:11:29
  Fitness. Oh, what it meant.
• 1:11:32
  Be fair it it meant that you like I had to ask like like what
• 1:11:38
  does what do you want me to do with this?
• 1:11:41
  Like what do you want me to do with my body?
• 1:11:43
  The innocence like not like do you not want me to move, but
• 1:11:47
  like like like do you do you want me to do it this way right?
• 1:11:51
  Are you cool with me talking about this journey?
• 1:11:54
  Like I think I've been injured one time while working out and
• 1:12:01
  and that's a whole nother story and a good little story.
• 1:12:03
  But in that time I was competing with folks, right?
• 1:12:06
  And it was like, I don't know, it kind of sat me down a little
• 1:12:10
  bit. So I think, and I was doing
• 1:12:12
  think about it in my own little small world.
• 1:12:15
  I was rocking it. But around that time I think I
• 1:12:18
  needed to slow down, right. So anyway, So what it meant,
• 1:12:22
  like I think, I don't know. I think you have to, but I don't
• 1:12:25
  want to say consult with God, but there needs to be a it
• 1:12:28
  works. It needs to.
• 1:12:29
  There's a lot of different ways in which we need to be in
• 1:12:32
  relationship with him. Sometimes he is our.
• 1:12:34
  Consultant Yeah. You really need to like, sit,
• 1:12:37
  like, not at sit back and be at peace with silence and sit back
• 1:12:42
  and have a conversation about like, what does all this mean?
• 1:12:46
  Unfortunately, like, I'm a black man whose family has had, you
• 1:12:52
  know, neuro neurological issues. I'm watching black men who
• 1:12:56
  struggle with prostate issues. I'm watching obesity run rampant
• 1:13:00
  in my own family. It's like, what else?
• 1:13:04
  Like, how do we break this, right?
• 1:13:06
  How do how do you want me to show up?
• 1:13:08
  Because I am different. Like my mom gets busy in the
• 1:13:12
  kitchen. Yeah, but.
• 1:13:15
  I, you know, and this is also about status, but something that
• 1:13:20
  I eat now that my mom ain't eating, it'll be like my mom
• 1:13:22
  puts sugar in a lot of stuff. But it, it's, it's just our
• 1:13:27
  norm. It's probably the normal stuff
• 1:13:29
  we normally eat. You know what I mean?
• 1:13:30
  But it's the from where I'm from, rice, potatoes, grits,
• 1:13:35
  cream of wheat, like that was a that was a thing.
• 1:13:37
  Lovely. A good bubble of.
• 1:13:38
  Bread so to challenge that and be like, hey man, I'm cool like
• 1:13:42
  like maybe cool so it's it's I'm not breaking a generational
• 1:13:47
  curse. I don't think it's a curse, but
• 1:13:49
  I'm challenging what we don't. Yeah, we're just challenging
• 1:13:52
  what it is, you know what I mean?
• 1:13:55
  Just think about how much sweet you eat.
• 1:13:56
  So anyway, I think maybe I'm going around the, the world
• 1:13:59
  with, you know, like, what does it mean?
• 1:14:02
  But I, I think it, it does mean like you have to be OK with not
• 1:14:06
  being OK. You have to be OK with looking
• 1:14:08
  at stuff and saying you ain't got nothing for me here, let me
• 1:14:11
  go get something else, right. I'm glad to go see my dad a
• 1:14:13
  couple days. I know for sure it's
• 1:14:15
  refrigerated. It's not going to have what I
• 1:14:17
  need. And you know what I mean?
• 1:14:19
  It's it's OK with, you know, you know, going to get what I need
• 1:14:23
  and, and seeing if he'll jump in there with me.
• 1:14:25
  Right. Anyways, I don't know.
• 1:14:28
  It's also an opportunity to be a family.
• 1:14:30
  I mean, community with family, right?
• 1:14:31
  Because I'm going to walk on my family.
• 1:14:32
  I'm going to get people outside. Yes, absolutely.
• 1:14:36
  Bring them in on the journey with you.
• 1:14:38
  Man, this has been so good and easily.
• 1:14:40
  I think we could continue talking about this.
• 1:14:42
  So I do want, because I know you and you've been laying the
• 1:14:46
  groundwork here, what are a couple good easy reads that you
• 1:14:50
  think could be good to recommend to our audience reads?
• 1:14:55
  I can give you one right now. Think like a monk, Jay Shetty.
• 1:14:58
  I would be a wonderful. Yeah, it would be a wonderful
• 1:15:03
  start. It's gone, but it gives you
• 1:15:06
  space to talk about like, what does meditation look like?
• 1:15:10
  What does centering and grounding look like?
• 1:15:13
  I think that is a good one. I said I didn't like it earlier,
• 1:15:16
  but I was only saying it because it's repetitive.
• 1:15:18
  I think the power of ritual is really good, you know?
• 1:15:21
  It's just not. But think about it, it makes
• 1:15:24
  sense for it to be repetitive if it's called the power of.
• 1:15:26
  Ritual it's it's super like you're like I think I know the
• 1:15:29
  ending, but I think those two are are really, really good
• 1:15:33
  start. I think the other read that I
• 1:15:35
  will offer, which has nothing to do with meditation is heavy by
• 1:15:40
  Keith. Was it Kai's lame on I mean it
• 1:15:43
  probably butchered his name, but it's his.
• 1:15:46
  It's like a letter to his mother about his relationship.
• 1:15:50
  Wait. Oh, my gosh.
• 1:15:51
  It is powerful. It is powerful.
• 1:15:54
  OK, Yeah. LAYMOAI think it's a Professor
• 1:15:57
  Rice. I'll link it so that they can
• 1:15:59
  they can follow. It's powerful.
• 1:16:01
  But it's an excellent, excellent breed about like his journey.
• 1:16:05
  And matter of fact, I will even start with that and then
• 1:16:08
  possibly go think like a month #2 and then if you got time,
• 1:16:12
  maybe next year. Power Ritual.
• 1:16:15
  I'm so glad you asked me that question.
• 1:16:16
  Yeah, it's good. OK, so now we're going to wrap
• 1:16:19
  you up with our signature question.
• 1:16:21
  If you could leave the audience with one powerful truth to help
• 1:16:26
  them rise and thrive, what would it be?
• 1:16:28
  Well, tell your audience it's powerful to start your day or
• 1:16:31
  end your day on your own terms. That you're my second guest that
• 1:16:35
  talked about that being such an important part and that's the
• 1:16:38
  episode in case if y'all missed it with coach Rice somewhere he
• 1:16:41
  talks about spending the first part of the year day like with
• 1:16:44
  self right and needing that. Thank you for reinforcing that
• 1:16:48
  for sure. So I want to thank you again,
• 1:16:52
  Doctor Boone, for taking time out of your busy day to be here
• 1:16:54
  with me today and to really bless our audience.
• 1:16:57
  You left us with so many, Jim. I got notes.
• 1:16:59
  I had to write it down because we got to do a really good recap
• 1:17:03
  on there, right? So the first thing you said, do
• 1:17:07
  you make time for time? So listeners, make sure you're
• 1:17:11
  making time for the things that are important to you.
• 1:17:13
  Making time for time. You talked about the importance
• 1:17:16
  of awareness and that's how we can start this journey and grow.
• 1:17:19
  And I'll, I'm calling it the first 15.
• 1:17:21
  What you just wrapped up with the you spending that time with
• 1:17:25
  yourself. Call it the first 15 'cause I
• 1:17:27
  sound catchy, but it could be the first fifty, the first 30,
• 1:17:29
  whatever works for you and your time.
• 1:17:31
  What matters is that you start your day on your terms.
• 1:17:35
  Wow, that your message is so consistent through here.
• 1:17:38
  Like on your day, just start and something that I heard you say
• 1:17:43
  that you didn't say it directly, but it was my interpretation is
• 1:17:46
  letting go of comparing and competing and get into
• 1:17:49
  community. Community was a consistent theme
• 1:17:52
  throughout our time here together today.
• 1:17:55
  And that's super valuable. And I also love how you talked
• 1:17:59
  about the power of speaking and how that gives others permission
• 1:18:05
  to be able to examine themselves or to give them direction, but
• 1:18:08
  also speaking to God and prayer, right?
• 1:18:11
  And those things that it does in your life and the ripple effect
• 1:18:14
  that comes from that, right? And we cannot leave here without
• 1:18:19
  acknowledging how you really broke down the difference
• 1:18:22
  between balance and harmony and just bringing harmony into
• 1:18:25
  everything that you do to be able to have growth in so many
• 1:18:31
  areas of your life and not operating in extremes.
• 1:18:34
  Thank you for that richness. Alright, so now this is where
• 1:18:38
  any last words? No, I appreciate you even
• 1:18:41
  reaching out and I I didn't know I had much content to give you,
• 1:18:44
  but I'm glad we had a good conversation.
• 1:18:45
  We'll be rocking our desire with me.
• 1:18:47
  I listen, I already knew I had no doubt anytime we get on the
• 1:18:51
  phone, anytime I've seen you, you know, it's always good
• 1:18:55
  quality conversation. It's also good glass, but there
• 1:18:58
  it's always an enriching experience, I think, and I think
• 1:19:01
  that's how, even though we like maybe fill out a contact for a
• 1:19:04
  while, like but you were always someone or just like Nah, Kyle's
• 1:19:08
  solid, right? Like Kyle is solid, and so I
• 1:19:12
  appreciate that. So of course you have something
• 1:19:14
  to offer. That of course you have
• 1:19:15
  something to offer. And so we're going to wrap up
• 1:19:17
  now. Audience, this is for you.
• 1:19:19
  This is your call to action. So I want you to reflect on how
• 1:19:23
  you are currently treating the body that God has given you.
• 1:19:27
  And then we're going to build on that and take action.
• 1:19:29
  And we want you to choose one small step today, whether you
• 1:19:33
  talking about drinking more water, just moving your body,
• 1:19:36
  having something green once a day, whatever The thing is, come
• 1:19:40
  into doing that today. And then finally, you know, I'm
• 1:19:44
  not going to let you all leave without me affirming you in some
• 1:19:46
  sort of way. So your affirmation for today is
• 1:19:49
  my body is the temple and I will care for it with love,
• 1:19:54
  discipline and gratitude. So I want to thank you all again
• 1:19:58
  today for tuning in for another episode of Rise and Thrive with
• 1:20:01
  Doctor J Nicole, where we are rising in faith and thriving in
• 1:20:05
  purpose. And I am excited the day in
• 1:20:08
  which we are recording this episode, the merge is live.
• 1:20:12
  So if you haven't already gotten your merge, go to www.evolve
• 1:20:17
  with Doctor J Nicole. You can do two things.
• 1:20:19
  One, you can get in community and join the Thrive tribe.
• 1:20:22
  So once you go to the website, you're going to get that pop up
• 1:20:25
  so you can make sure you don't miss any.
• 1:20:27
  Updates. We'll send out text and e-mail
• 1:20:28
  updates. Then I also want you to Scroll
• 1:20:31
  down or Click to go to the podcast and then when you do
• 1:20:34
  that, you can click shop the merch so and you can get we have
• 1:20:39
  the exclusive mugs, we have hats, we got the hoodie.
• 1:20:42
  You got your journal, right? And just have a good time.
• 1:20:45
  And if it's not your style, get it to someone that might
• 1:20:47
  benefit. So thank you again, Kyle, Doctor
• 1:20:51
  Boone for being here and it was an absolute pleasure.
• 1:20:55
  Thank you for blessing the audience and thank you for
• 1:20:56
  blessing. Me with your thank you so much,
• 1:20:58
  you have a wonderful day. Thank you.