Latest / Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck / Interview with Kirsten Barfoot | Awakening in Grace

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Interview with Kirsten Barfoot | Awakening in Grace · Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Alive and Kicking Podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Kay Eck, and this is where we talk to ordinary people about their extraordinary lives.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Alive and Kicking Podcast, everybody.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: I have as our guest today, Kirsten Barfoot.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, Kirsten.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, Kay.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: How are you?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me today.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so happy that you're here.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: So you're joining us obviously from Australia and you're dressed appropriately for the weather, which is the complete opposite of what I'm dressed for, which is the weather.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really jealous, but I'm so happy to have you here.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, thank you.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: I said I feel very blessed and honored that you have um invited me to take part in this.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh thank you for waking up early too, for me getting with us.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it's always so hard to um connect the right times.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: I all of my Australian friends, they all want to meet, you know, in their morning, which is my night.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I I do it, but it's like, you know, it's obviously not my best time.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I this is it's not quite evening here, so this is perfect for me.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let's just jump right in.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk a little bit about, I want to find out from you um what your childhood was like and what your sense of yourself was as a child.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, getting right into it.
• 1:34
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: Look, I um I think I had a pretty happy childhood.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: I was born in South Africa.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: My parents are New Zealanders, and um so they they traveled.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, that's actually quite a bit, they were quite a big inspiration for me in terms of traveling and seeing the world and experiencing life from that perspective.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um and we moved to New Zealand uh when I was about 10.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: And that time of my life was actually pretty um pretty tough.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, I think I've tried to make amends with it now, but uh it was uh a time in my life where I really felt like an outsider.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, they you talk about racism being you need to be a different colour or a different culture or whatever, but um that was, you know, I spoke differently, and you know, there were just this kind of taunting that kids do, you know.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um so I was very happy when my parents announced that they were going to move to Australia, and I was like, yes, like a fresh start, new start, and um and so we came to Australia and I'm so so like even now I've I've traveled, I've done quite a lot of traveling.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: I just I'm so grateful that we live in in this beautiful part of the world and um that we have been given this opportunity to to develop here.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: But I guess my sense of self, like, you know, when I I remember that I always knew I was here for something.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: I I I remember like even as a small child that I was here to do something and I could never connect with it.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: And it used to frustrate me because I watched my sister, she was so clear.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, she she's changed what she was doing, but she she knew, like she was just so clear about stuff.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I I had friends at school who were certain about what they wanted to do, and I was just like, yeah, I just couldn't couldn't find this tangibility on something.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like I would go towards things and I would be discouraged in one way or another.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Either it was discouragement from um you know parents kind of going, oh, maybe that's not quite the right thing to do, um, or maybe it was just that things got closed off, like it actually just became impossible.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: So I sort of carried around a little bit, I know these beliefs now, but I didn't back then, is that um I can't be who I want and I can't do what I want.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so the journey has really been about like um connecting to to that inner self to to to bring to bring that that information to light now.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm I'm always so amazed at the depth of children's understanding of themselves um or or their surroundings.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it just because I ask this question often in the podcast, and some of the answers, they're just so, you know, they're so rich and so meaningful and also so kind of heartbreaking, too, a lot of the time.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: So take us back to your really young years in South Africa, and can you tell us how that influenced who you are, who you became?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: I think um growing up in such a diverse country um really makes me.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: I think I think if I was to look back now, I would say it's built that compassion, but I don't think I would have used that then as a small child.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: And certainly I took a lot for granted.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, that that country is is is filled richly with diversity, with culture, with um exquisite countryside.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um it's just, you know, it's it's it's got that um that African style to it.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like they do say you can take the man out of Africa, but you can never take Africa out of the man, and in my case, the woman.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it's so true, like every time I go back there, land on the soil, and there's this feeling I've come home, you know, because there's something very powerful about the energy there.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not something that, you know, people would naturally go, oh wow, yeah, that's what you would see in in the picture, you know, in news or whatever, because it's certainly not that portrayal.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: And certainly as an under 10-year-old, that kind of understanding of politics or anything like that was just not in my field of awareness.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: So I had a very naive kind of impression of the country, and to be honest, it was when I came to Australia and I was watching Cry Freedom, and I saw this atrocity that had gone on, and I was just, I was crazed.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: I was like in this rage of like, how could that happen?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: And how can anyone say that that is okay?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this was the genocide that that that you know just went in.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: And and I I I for a while there I had this anger inside of me thinking, how could how could how can people behave like that?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I guess when I was older, it's it's more like um trying to find that inspiration of um of powerful leadership.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that Mandela did do a fairly good job at that.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sort of getting away from your question as a child.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think in in terms of living there, I had a very happy childhood.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: And what were your parents doing that took them to South Africa?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, they just wanted to travel.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: So that was their thing.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: I think they hit around the age of 21.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: They were um, they were swimmers, so they were from New Zealand and um they actually knew each other.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: Dad was from the the North Island and mum was from the South Island, and through the swimming, they would um what do they call it?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, they would house stay.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: So they the families actually did know each other.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: And when they arrived in London, um they connected, like um, as in they bumped into each other and they didn't come together, um, but they lived, they all lived as a as a group together.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: And um and then they dad did a lot of traveling down through Africa, and then I think mum came.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um I don't think there was any kind of specific work that took them there.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, dad ended up doing valuation for a building society, and mum ended up doing um accounting for a big bank.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so that's that's amazing.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: So when you landed in New Zealand, how you were 10, and so it would have been fourth grade or something like that.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, it was just I had one year at high school at primary school, and then they have a two-year of intermediate, and then you go to high school.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_02: And so the first uh the first part of the education was was fine.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was in a very nurturing environment, and you know, you have that typical challenge stuff, but I would call that more the normal stuff.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: Whereas when I went into the um when I went into the intermediate school, I mean I loved it because it had so many um different kinds of subjects, like I could do metalwork and woodwork and all these creative things, and I just totally loved that, you know, art and all these experiential kinds of subjects.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I could never, I I connected very badly with other kids.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't really have um a friend network and and also the teacher just was like Kirsten's like the worst student I've ever had, and it was just it was just couldn't get my name right, you know, it was just and and I was just like uh and I'd just come home and I'd cry, and then I, you know, you start wanting to take days off school, and mum's like, what's going on?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: And anyway, yeah, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I guess so.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: After it torments you for many years.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I'm wondering about that feeling that you had of um that you can't be yourself and that you can't do what you want to do, and how you you know, how did that get buried within you?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Did how did you plaster over that so that you could, you know, carry on?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think these things are so subconscious, like uh these things have only come to light within the last couple of years, you know.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um so for me that play that plays out, and you see, this is the funny thing about your evidence procedure.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like I had this uh just this belief inside myself that I'm not good enough, and so your evidence procedure will show up in that capacity, yes.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: See, because when when I first did that test, what is your underlying belief?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: I it said I'm not good enough, and and you you were supposed to be able to turn that around.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Yeah, but you don't get it.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's true, because that's what my evidence procedure was.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um what is an evidence procedure?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a term that I'm familiar with.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so so um, like for instance, um I'll just I'll just go back.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: I I partnerships.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: Partnerships is is like my one of my patterns, seems that I just want to repeat the same thing.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: So anyway, now I'm aware of that.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, there's this this cycle and you know, getting into relationships, it's going well, but then something happens and it and it and it dissolves.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I think, oh, okay, so that is the evidence procedure that says, oh, I'm not good enough.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: So so things so it's about yourself, your life will confirm that.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it's the things that will show up because that's what you're focused on, you know.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: So I also was made redundant from um two jobs in a row.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: One was from a financial perspective because the whole company went, but the other one was um because because well, what I've realized now is I didn't step into my role in in its full capacity.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um but then again, that was also that that evidence that was like, yeah, see, you you you're not good enough.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: You're not good enough.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's almost like a no matter what happened to you, the lens is I'm not good enough.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: So you'll interpret the situation as being a result of that.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: Correct.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so you keep that's where you're that's why the lens, when we talk about shifting perspective, it needs to shift so that you can create a a different a different perspective of what that actually meant.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so we can um shift that to go, okay.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: Well, hang on, maybe that wasn't in complete alignment with where you were heading.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, maybe you could have actually created this situation because at some point this was not in complete alignment with where you wanted to go.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: And this is where it gets into that tricky space because I do believe in the divine, I do believe in grace.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I do believe that we are here for a mission and a purpose, and if we get off track, we will be sort of, and actually, this making redundant tripped a number of things that went off, and I ended up losing everything.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: I lost everything.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: I lost money, I lost a partner, I lost my I didn't lose a house, but I just I just lost my whole identity.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: I was just like, Can I share a story?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: Because this was a big this was a big turning point in my life.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: So I was yelling up to God and just going completely nuts, like what?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: I've got nothing.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: I've I've got no no job, no, no money, no partner, and you know, time's a ticking, and I had no children, and that was like the biggest, biggest thing for me.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I have nothing.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_02: And there was just something that came back, and it was this voice, and it was just like, ah, Kirsten, you have everything, and I was like, calm.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: But I was like, what the heck was that?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, but I was calm, I was at peace.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, okay, okay, okay.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: So what I have come to realize is that that was my first conscious mystical experience.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: That was something just calming down when everything feels like it's against you, there is grace.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so what I feel now is that that message wasn't just for me.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: That message is for everybody.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: We are all everything, we all have everything, and so that has become my mission.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's my purpose, is to share that with people and let them know that when it feels like everything is against you, there is grace, and you do have everything within you.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that's so powerful.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: I want to get more into work, but first I want to ask you about that.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I c I'm calling it a lens, and you're calling it a um what's it called?
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: What did you call it?
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: An evidence procedure.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: So this this idea that you had that you weren't enough, how did you discover that?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And is there is there a way for people to bring that forward if they're ready to do that work, or do they have to wait until it you know hits them on the side of the head?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's a good question, a very good question.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: I think both.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think um I think you have to be in some place of awareness to hear it for yourself.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: Because until you get to that place where you are somewhat tuned in, those things, I mean, my mum says to me all the time, she she said, I was always telling you you needed to believe in yourself.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: I was always telling, so my mum was always, you know, about she could see that I didn't believe in myself, but I wasn't hearing that because for me, like people saying, Oh, you just need to believe in yourself is the worst thing because it's totally unhelpful.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_02: How do you just believe in yourself when you don't?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like you can't just get to that I know how to now, but you know, of course, that's taken me a long time to do that.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: But I think you can you can do certain things for yourself that will then elicit that kind of you can then start communicating.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: But getting back to your question is for me, the first time it came out was when I was in a room with one of my mentors, my first mentor after the after the event, um, and another another colleague, and they were asking me something.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_02: They I can't remember what it was about, but the words that came out of my mouth were because I'm not good enough.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_02: And they both just were like, like, how could you say that?
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like they were just they recoiled from those words, and and that was the first time I was like, wow, like that's that's what I think, and it's it's it's just terrible to to just keep, but you know, that's what this journey is about.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: Is like for me, um this is sort of getting a little bit on the fun side, but it's kind of relevant because I actually think this is one of my life lessons.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: So it's with me.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's I I can't now hide it and say, oh no, you're you're not there.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: I just have to say, okay, this is something that you you have within you.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: So let's see when those things do come up.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, the fun thing that I wanted to share was that um I did a numerology report once, and it says you've got four stages of life, and each stage of life you have a life lesson.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: And so the first one said, You are your own worst critic.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's so you need to the the challenge that you need to overcome is the fact that you will um need to start believing in yourself.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: The second phase in your life is the same as number one.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: Great.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: The third phase in your life, same as number one, fourth phase, same as number one.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: And like, okay, maybe I just need to embrace this beauty.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I you know, it I it's there's so many different ways that this information can come at you.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening, it won't take a long time.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: I remember when I was in high school, I had this really good friend, and we were like, you know, very close.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like my first soul sister.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: And um I was very deep and serious, and I so high school was like not the best place for me.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: I I just I would stand or even beyond that, I would like stand in the corner at a party and just like hope that nobody came to talk.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: To be, or you know, just like try to be invisible because I just couldn't tolerate, like, I just couldn't do what everybody else seemed to be doing so naturally.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: And um, my girlfriend said to me, you know, I'm so tired of explaining you to people, and I was like, Oh my god, that is terrible.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: That that, like, first of all, people are like, What's with that chick, you know?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and I realized that I couldn't stay in a box and not be out there in the world, you know, that people would were wanting to engage with me, but I wasn't allowing that, you know, and and of course, there's so many of those moments um in our lives.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: And if we if we listen to them, then we don't have to be told again.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: So it, you know, I I love the um also probably one of my my big partnership was the first time that I really understood um projection because he would let me know when something that I was saying was actually about me.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, of course I argued that point vehemently, but eventually I was like, hmm, is that right?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: And of course it was, it always is.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: So are you now involved in coaching people on these types of um life lessons?
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think yes.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_02: What I've come to realize is that um, you know, it's typically I could be wrong in my interpretation.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, sorry, this is my interpretation.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: So people might not agree with this, and that's okay.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: This is just how I interpret the direction in which I now feel is is the way that I would like to go.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_02: Because what I've found in coaching is that people want to delve deeply into the wounds and um and and uncover them and and uh you know go into that sort of a process.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: For me, I've always sort of seen it like if we can work towards the vision, if we can work towards how we want to be in the world, we are coming from a place of um a place of uh I was going to say grace, but everything has grace.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: But when we are there, we are in a much elevated space.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: We are dreaming, we're imagining, we're creating.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: So we're in this um high vibration.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: So when these things like the stuff that comes up, comes up because we are up here, we can deal with this stuff a little bit more um easily.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: But I feel like if we start here, we're we're in the problem.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel that digging into the problem is just bringing more of that, and so the the attention needs to move away from what we consider the problem and go into the imagination, go into the creation, go into the inspiration, and so when we're in that space, this stuff is going to come up because that's what I've found.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like I've been able to uncover a lot because it's it comes up and it shows up, and I go, oh, ooh, ew.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: But because I have my vision, because I'm clear, because I know, okay, right, look, I need some help here because I I don't know what I'm doing, you know, like I just don't know what I'm doing.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so the help comes.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so we can be in that space of yes.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: So in the answer to your question, that's that's I I I think it's getting people in tune with the vision, the vision that they would like to create for themselves.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um I it's I agree with you that um that no matter what you do, the issues are gonna come up.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you have a choice whether you want to work on them or you know, push them back down and wait till later.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: You it won't be, you know, you're not gonna be able to do that forever, but um you will have the opportunity to work on them.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um so this idea of being in a higher state when you work on the problems, is that why you're taking them into vision?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so so bringing people back into themselves.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_02: Because what I've found is that we can go into this creation mode of from the external environment, and there's a lot of noise, there's a lot of stimulus, there's a lot of wants, needs, and desires from around everyone.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: So for me, I believe that it's the first place is to come back into here, to feel this wholeness and this richness and to feel like we are deserving, to feel like we are worthy, to feel like we are loved and loved by life, you know, and so when you uh can come to that place, like I honestly believe that things just start coming to you.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: I don't see that it has to be this pushing all the time.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: So, and literally like answers, people don't give enough credit to materializing information, like you know, everyone wants to materialize a house or a car or whatever, and yeah, I've certainly been in that place too.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: But when when there comes this wholeness, then it's it's like you're a magnet, and then things that you are in total alignment with come into your space, and then you pick them up.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, I feel it's really, really important to start seeing these really subtle things, the teeny tiny things, the stuff that people don't normally notice.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_02: You've got to notice that little stuff because the little stuff leads to the big stuff, so yeah.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: I I think that's so true.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: I I started my manifesting journey on parking spaces, and you know, my family would laugh at me, but hey, you know, I got good results.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I kind of you know questioned whether I could manifest larger things in my life, and um, you know, of course I have had some success with that, but it's not a super big part of my practice, it's not my path exactly, but I I love that, you know, that I love that work and I love to think about it.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, but one thing I was wondering is if a person does not know who they are, how do they get to the vision?
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: What is the process for that?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_02: That's the the process is because that's not uncommon.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, that is quite common, sorry, I think, you know, um we live in a world that puts quite a lot of attention on what we don't have.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's an evidence procedure again.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: You know, those sorts of things when you when you're coming to wanting to create stuff from this place of I don't have it, that's building your unworthiness.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: That is totally coming from a place of lack.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, I don't have it now, it's still not showing up.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_02: See, I'm not good enough.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_02: You don't deserve it, because if you don't deserve it, you would have it.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: So for me, the thing that I feel is the most important thing, the first thing is the connect.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: Connect, connect back, connect back into your heart, connect back into your soul, connect back.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_02: Because what you'll find is when you come from that place of connection, you're going to be writing a completely different story.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like I've done this process both ways.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: I've done a clarifying phase and then connected.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: And then when I've connected, I wrote and I'm like, wow, that's it's it you come from a different vibration.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: And suddenly, and for me, the connection is a meditation.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: But if you're not into meditation, it is as simple as just closing your eyes, like close your eyes, release everything from the external environment, come back, feel your heart, feel your, excuse me, feel your breath, and just come back into who you are.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_02: How do you feel?
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: Who do you want to be?
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, it's it's and and this isn't a static process.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like these the things that you, you know, when I look at when I look at some of my old things, like some things they've come to fruition, some things have sort of changed form, and then some things have dropped off because they no longer felt uh important to me.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_02: So they were sort of lacked a priority, but um, but you can just get so much more in tune with you.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_02: And when you're coming from this place here, and then you start asking a question, who am I?
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: Who do I want to be?
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: What like what sorts of things uh do I want to create?
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: And what I've realized as well is that you can go an extra step here.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like, say for instance, you want something tangible, I urge you to go and get images, get things that will bring that experience to you.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, for example, I wanted to attend this event, and um at that time the finances wasn't really looking that great, but um and and I had some steep competition, like I it was, you know, I would need to make a miracle happen to be able to get into it.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: And but I watched this video and I started crying because I was like, I've been there, I I I am going to that.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: So I had this feeling within my body that I was connected to it.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: And the first round I didn't get it, but that's okay because I still committed to that process.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: And then the next one, I did the whole registration and all that sort of stuff, and then right at the end it said payment failure.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, damn it.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and this was this is you know one of those situations that it's like you if you're out, you're out.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: You don't get a second chance to go back in and do the thing.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: So anyway, I was like, okay, no problem.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I was a bit heartbroken.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: But a couple of months later, it comes and it says, hey, payment failure, do you want to sort that out?
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so I I could sort it out and I was going inside still at my place.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that looks adorable.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of like um, you know, when you want to have this creation process is feel a connection to something because then if you feel the connection, keep it, make make it part of you.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_02: But you then proceed like you have done that or created that or um materialized it or whatever.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you are that person, you've you've got a connection to it.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: So you've it's a future thing, but you've brought it into your now.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_02: So you carry out your life like that, and so it's only a matter of time before these things will show up for you.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_02: That's the magic.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that is magic.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: So um what at what point in your life did, or maybe has there been a point in your life where your your life where you knew that your life was actually a spiritual path?
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like how did that come together for you?
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's an interesting question.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um well, I think I was always connected to something when I was younger, but I don't believe that that was a conscious thing.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_02: Uh it was a conscious thing, but I don't know that I put it down to it being a spiritual thing.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I was never really into this religion thing.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_02: I went to a Catholic high school, which was which was lovely.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I never really I actually went through a bit of a phase of atheism because I was like just couldn't connect with it.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_02: So I was like, yeah, I just sort of rejected it all.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: Apparently we lost, we just call that college.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_02: So it's a typical that that rebellious nature, isn't it?
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: To explore.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I think I started meeting uh some people who would then start speaking about, you know, their connection with spirit or their connection to this thing.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_02: But see, this again, this this again, my evidence procedure showed up for that too, because of course I didn't speak with the spirits and I didn't, you know, have this profound sight or hearing or whatever knowledge.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so that was my evidence procedure.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_02: So it's it that again, it was like I'm not good enough even for God type thing.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um and um so I'd say that that was my early 20s, that that started coming into my life.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I also know that grace was probably present there showing me in introducing me to people who I rejected their ideals because they were so strong about theirs, and I was rejecting of them because I was like, no, that's not right, you know, and I had this right and wrong, like that's not right.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's what's happened all in the the world.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_02: How can I be associated with that and just just total rejection of of people and their their ideals, so um it's only afterwards that I kind of go, oh, like you could have just been a little bit more gentle about that.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you kind of feel like part of figuring out who you are is figuring out who you're not and what doesn't feel right to you.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I feel like a lot of times we can go into the process and there's this um, you know, this feeling of being lost, like you don't know, you know, who you are, you don't know what you want to do, you don't know where you're going.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that that actually is the process that has to come in in order for you to step onto the path of figuring out who you are and where you're going, you know.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like a it's a lovely and difficult, horrible time.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I wouldn't have it any other way, you know.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's as you say, that these are the things, all those crunchy moments are the things that develop you as a human being.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_02: And when you can look at them and reflection, you can see how they have shaped you and how you can have a little bit more compassion or a little bit more softness around certain things.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, do you think that you came in with that lens um of not being good enough?
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: And and if so, you're a parent now, and your son is quite young, I know that.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm wondering if you see anything emerging in him and how that affects your parenting.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's a very good question.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_02: I um I think you come in with your your lessons for sure, but then I was saying this to my mum because I've got very, very capable parents, like they're both very strong, very capable people.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_02: And um my mum would you like if if she does it now, like after a party or something like that, she's always in the in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I said, Well, don't don't do them, I'll I'll do them.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_02: But she's in there, she does it, so there's this kind of and just through the work that I've done and also witnessing for my own son, is that as a child, if that's continuously happening, it's kind of a rejection of their service.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: So um, I think I read, I think it's the positive parenting by Adler, that kids will develop their self-worth through service.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_02: So the more that you can allow them to serve within the home and they can feel satisfied that they have contributed towards the service of the home, like the cleaning, the cooking, um, whatever's within their um their capabilities.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're not going to get a one-year-old to do all that sort of stuff.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, my son will get involved with the vacuum cleaning, and you know, there's a part of me that wants to go, you're not doing it right, you know, you haven't got that gap.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: But then it's like, no, you have to nurture that, you have to allow him to do that because otherwise there's going to be that feeling within him, I'm not good enough, I can't do that.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I'm not saying anything badly about my parents because everyone's doing the best they can.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_02: And they certainly did not think like, oh, that's going to produce that kind of feeling within them.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_02: So there's no blame there.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's just coming from a place of observation and then not wanting to um to create that same situation within my family.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_02: Now, um, my son, on the other hand, is a very strong kind of.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_02: I think he does know his identity.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm pretty sure he's he's like, yeah, no, that's okay.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_02: You know, he's he's quite a confident little fellow, and I'd like to continue to nurture that and not hinder that.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's so hard.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_00: I probably know 100,000 mothers who, you know, made their living helping their kids, you know, and possibly overhelping.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm as I'm listening to you, I was I'm thinking, damn, there's another thing, another opportunity like that.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, but that's the thing, like, you know, um, I think also we're in a different, we're in a different world now.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we're not, you know, even my grandmother, she's very tolerant of of me, but I know that certain things she's like, you just don't do that because that's just not the way that it was done back then.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_02: She's 98, you know, she's got all the marble, she's a strong-willed, capable woman as well, sort of runs in the family.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, so so things were done differently, and same with my parents, things were done differently.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_02: There was a different acceptance, and this is again, now we're starting to see that these kids like have have, you know, I I think they're like little geniuses, you know.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_02: I think they're just totally connected.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_02: They, I think it was you who were saying we, you know, we don't need to educate them.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_02: They're they can, you know, what what children are able to do on their own, like he learned to walk, he learned to crawl, walk, run, talk.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that wasn't, I don't say, hey, yeah, that was me teaching him.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_02: That little guy, he he did that all himself, you know.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_02: So what else were they capable of if we were just to allow them to evolve into their into their own um into their own being?
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I just think that that is just where we are at at this point in our evolution.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't think you need to be going, oh, look, that was another thing, because you facilitated the growth of your human beings into who they are today.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think once you understand the evolutionary process from that perspective, that we are we are in this together and we're building something together.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, each generation has brought something really important to the table that you can, especially from the personal Perspective, you can then have a frame of reference for understanding your parents.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I have spent a lot of time struggling and um over the role that my parents played in my life and the people that they were.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't until, you know, pretty far down the road that I was able to understand just what you're saying that they, you know, we even even though we hear the phrase they did the best they could, sometimes that doesn't heal a broken heart when you have a broken heart.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: So um it would be nice if our if one day we intrinsically let children un intrinsically understood that so they didn't have to look at their parents and say, like, you're such a dope, you don't know anything.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: I always say, like, yes, that's true, but I did serve a purpose.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, yeah, a number of purposes, yes.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_00: So what's up next for you?
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: Where is your life heading?
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_00: And and well, you know what I wanted to ask you is have you found that these issues that come up to be dealt with, whatever they are, the wounds or the frame of reference or um whatever they might be, um do you find that once you learned how that process worked, that it was much easier to deal with them?
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: And how was it different?
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, look, I think for me, what would show up now is that it becomes a speedy process.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_02: So um what might have taken, like, you know, what started out as years, then it's months, then it's you know days.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_02: Now it's like it's it's moments.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_02: It's like you can recognize stuff.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'm not going to say that stuff doesn't come up for me.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_02: It's sure as anything, sure does.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_02: But what is good about it is that um I can now recognize it, and then I can go, okay, right.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_02: So if I need help with it, I will ask for help if I think that this is something that I just need to um create a different story around it, then I will do that.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_02: But I'd say that what happens is that you will overcome it quicker.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_02: So the speed will um be shorter, which which just means that um it's losing its hold, you know, it's it's losing once would it would be fixed in there, and you'd be dogged and you'd defend it and you'd be like, yeah, no, that's definitely right.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_02: And now it's like, okay, okay, okay.
• 46:45
  unknown: Yeah.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_02: Hi there, right, I can see you.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_02: Right, okay.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_02: What are we going to do about this?
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_02: How are we going to manage this?
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_02: What are we, what's our next step here?
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's it's it's both that we're becoming more skilled at it, and the frequency is supporting the stuff to come up faster and to clear faster.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: I know I am like every single day understanding more about myself.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the things that break my heart or bring up some shame, or you know, some of these other things that we think about ourselves, I can barely cry half a tear before it's gone.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I literally get choked up and then it's out, it's gone.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's gone.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm amazed by that.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yay! Yeah.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's um, so then you can um, I feel like that's one of the rewards of being true and diligent on your path now.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's that that is the reward, is that you become you step more into a flow state where these things sticking to you.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_00: I love the way that you describe that, like you're not, you're just not like a velcro thing, you know, like you can go with the head.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_02: It's it just comes, it's it's like things just come to you.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it's not like you're got uh, it's not like I'm going, hey, this is what I want.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_02: This is this is the funny thing, is that you you go and you make an intention or you set like um something that's meaningful for you, and then things are gonna come and you go, oh, that is what I wanted.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's that's exactly what I wanted, and yet it's not something that I explicitly wrote about, you know.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um but there was something else you said, and I anyway.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um so let's talk a little bit about what what you're doing now and where your path has taken you.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_02: Well, my path has taken me into um, I started writing a book last year.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's um I'd love that to be published this year.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um and so for me, it's about building the coursework and framework around the concepts that are in the book.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_02: And it's really about inner wealth.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um the whole thing that it came where it the inspiration came from was when COVID hit and the world literally shut down.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, well, that's great, isn't it?
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_02: Because at the moment there's not really much you can spend money on.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, you know, there's no travel, there's no going out with friends, there's there's, you know, I'm sure people can find many ways to spend money.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_02: But for me, I was like, well, that's not really the currency anymore, is it?
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, money is not the currency right here.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_02: The fact that you can feel calm and whole and safe and secure within yourself, that is the currency.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so when, and so this sort of concept sort of delve deeper and deeper, and now it's like actually, when when we can come to this place of wholeness, we are literally big, we are are creating this world around us or co-creating it.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but but you know, in in contrast to what the the materializers and the the laws of attraction are talking about, is you know, you want to create something from this external world.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, a lot of the time it comes because somebody else has something and you think you want it, you know, and so it's like you're coming from a place of I don't have it, but if you can come back, spend the time, connect in with yourself, go through that clarity, exercise, you can then create the wealth, the inner wealth, and then when that is then transcended out into your world, then the the external wealth, in whatever way that fits for people, uh, financial wealth, um, you know, wealth in its in its entirety, but I believe that the first way is coming from this place within.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_02: Come here and then out, and that's where the magic happens.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I love that you are talking about different ways to view wealth and to um that it that it isn't just financial, there's much, much more to it than that.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so excited for this book to come out.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm uh when you first told me about it, I was like head to toe goosebumps.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, this is a good book.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_00: This is a book that I could read, you know.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, thank you.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that you've been talking about on your social media is that we each have within us um everything that we need to lead, and that it's not about knowledge, it's not about continuously gaining more knowledge, which is so resonant for me.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_00: I discovered probably, I don't know, 10 years ago that this there was, I was I was teaching yoga at the time, and there was this, oh my gosh, it was like this drive in yoga teachers to like get more accreditations, more trainings, get more la la la, like numbers and letters behind your name and stuff.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I it just didn't resonate for me, and it wasn't, I just stopped taking any workshops.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: I just could not take a year or another workshop, and I'm I don't think I ever have.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've done stuff, but not a yoga workshop.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_00: But um, so can you talk a little bit more about that from your perspective?
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_02: I love well, this is a new insight for me, so um, and a massive aha.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, uh what I'd like to just share at this point, and it is for for everyone, is that you can uh be tracking down this particular area and not be seeing results because you're not in an alignment.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_02: But when you can get into alignment, the results aren't linear, is what I'm saying.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_02: But this was a new realization from last week was um that we just like what you were saying, is that we think that we need to know all of these technical skills.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_02: So the leadership, what what I found in my in my experience is that some people become leaders because they are good at something.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_02: So they um they might be very technically aware, and so they become a leader, but they're not necessarily leaders, like they don't necessarily have that leadership quality which is nurturing, empowering.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_02: They're kind of like uh I'm in my in my silo here because I'm really, really smart and I know my stuff and I know how to check and balance everything, but but that's not leadership.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_02: Leadership is so much broader than that, and I've had the benefit of being able to see how both of them work because I remember having a leader in my life who went above and beyond, and he didn't need to, you know, he did not need to.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_02: He um he gave me a shot, he was like, right, you're here, right, we're gonna make the best of this, and and then he, you know, I don't I didn't know this at the time, but then he was, you know, giving me more and more responsibility as I had obviously jumped over a hurdle for him.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_02: He was like, Okay, you've done that, you've done that.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so he went and he, you know, spoke for me.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_02: And and so that had an incredible uh effect on my own self-worth because I was like, here, here's somebody who believes in me, and I felt like I was good at what I was doing, but I also had a situation where um I'd gone into something now.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_02: You see, this is the thing.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like if I'd have known at this point that leadership was not about the technicalities, but I was I was comparing myself to other people who were so much more technical than me.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um but you know, I when I look back on what I was able to achieve, I'm like like that was the only thing that was standing in the way of actually being a really cool leader was just owning it.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like going, yeah, you're in this situation, this is what you're here to do, these are your responsibilities, you've achieved them.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_02: Stand in that.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_02: Stand in that.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_02: And and but but does anyone actually talk about this?
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_02: Do we do we you know necessarily get taught that that is what leadership is about?
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's about empowering people.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's actually not standing there and being the hey, yeah, I'm standing here, I'm the greatest.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_02: You listen to what I have to say, it's not about that.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, in fact, really cool leaders will surround themselves in people who are way smarter than them so that they can do what they do, which is just make sure, yes, yep, that's right.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_02: Cool.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_00: I I love that.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_00: I uh to me, leadership is about helping.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_00: If a leader is not helping other people become empowered and step into their authenticity and their capability, then then it's not, it's not really, it doesn't feel like leadership to me.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what it is, but all right.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_00: So um, wow, okay.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_00: We've covered a lot of territory, and I'm wondering if we could switch over to our lightning round now.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, putting me on the quiz so you don't have to this is just like a one answer, one one-word answer type thing.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_00: No, not you can say as much as you want about the subject.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, okay.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's I'm not even sure lightning round is the right name for it, but what we're using.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay, cool, cool.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, number one.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_00: What human traits do you love the most?
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_02: Uh love, compassion, grace.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, beautiful.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well one of mine, which is of course those things are great.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_00: But one of my favorite kind of people to be around are people who have really awesome self-deprecating humor.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_02: People who make me laugh at that's I love that.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_00: Those are my favorite people who can, you know, throw some jokes around about themselves.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_00: Don't take themselves too seriously.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's important.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_02: Humor is is uh like when you can laugh at yourself, I think I think that's a very healing kind of uh thing.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's like yourself, it's yeah, evidence that you're healed.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, most of the time.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_00: Some people do it to deflect, but but most of the time it's it's because it's like eek.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, how has your definition of family evolved from childhood to adulthood?
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think it probably I I think that family is probably one of my highest values.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, it's my family, uh, as I said, you know, we we we traveled together, you know, for for a long time.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_02: It was just the four of us.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, we could rely on each other, we depended on each other, we were there for each other through thick and through thin.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_02: I really always felt very loved and nurtured within my family.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I feel very blessed.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I guess um now as a mother myself, it's like wanting to make sure that my son, out of everything, always feels safe and and loved in in our house too.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_02: So um I'm not sure it's really changed other than maybe it's sort of changed form and has kind of evolved into now me not being the nurtured one, but now me being the nurturing one.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: I I feel that for myself, I I I had a family that wasn't connected at all.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_00: There was a very it was dysfunctional and and difficult.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_00: And trying to create something in my own family that I had no experience with was super challenging.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_00: And at times I I wanted it so badly that if it wasn't, if it wasn't happening the way I thought it should, I would just like freak out.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you know the kids weren't being nice to each other or supportive of each other, you know, I would just like lose it.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because it was it was so, it was like a wound, it was an unhealed wound that I hadn't really, you know, kind of depth dived into.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: So oh, it's challenging.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's very challenging.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, number three, what is your first hour, what was your first airplane flight like?
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_02: Gosh, um, it would have been when I was about six, and I think we flew to New Zealand from South Africa, so that's a long flight, but it was back in the days when they weren't so fixed on this safety thing.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, my parents used to sort of make us a bed on the floor or somewhere, and and so I I would just sleep, you know.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_02: I think I oh, I do remember that takeoff.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_02: Man, I love that.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_02: I love that feeling, and I still love that feeling.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_02: I still love turbulence, like just weird.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like people are people are going wild and crazy, and I'm like, yeah, this is so good.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_02: Just love that.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, just I really loved that.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_02: It was always a good experience.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, I was I that reminds me of a trip that uh we took with our family um to Vancouver, and we were flying back, and I I manifested terrible turbulence.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_00: And my son and I were sitting in the last row of the plane, and I was like freaking out, and he was probably I don't know, he was nine or seven, eight, seven, something, I don't know, something like that.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_00: And um I I like looked at him and he looked at me, and it he was like, and it was like literally for four hours the flight attendants had to be in their seats.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_00: It was it was really, really bad.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, he looked at me and he was like, What are you gonna do?
• 1:02:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What are you a little Buddha?
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_02: See, of course, of course.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_02: What are you gonna do?
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_02: That's so profound, isn't it?
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_02: What are you gonna do?
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_02: With that look on his face, like, yeah, yeah, it sucks, but what are you doing?
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what makes your house feel like a home?
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_02: I love um beautiful fragrances, I love beautiful things.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_02: I do have the gift of beautification.
• 1:03:04
  SPEAKER_02: I just want, I just love being surrounded in beauty.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um I love the sun.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_02: I love the sun coming in when it's gentle, not like this thing that you would be seeing through there.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I love flowers, so fresh flowers.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um I just redid my kitchen and um and I just I love it because you know, not only was I able to take part in the whole design process, I was able to do the work with my father.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_02: So we we did the work together, and uh it was just one of those creations of you know, where I've put the creation out and it came literally in a way that I least expected, and I was just like, wow, you know how this magnificence, and when I look at it, I just think, wow, and when you look at the picture, I did a pretty good job.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_02: Better, better than the picture, better than the picture.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it's it's things, it's fresh, it's white, it's clean, it's um simple.
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like having lots of stuff.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_02: I just want to have space where I can let my eyes rest, you know.
• 1:04:31
  SPEAKER_02: So simplicity.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_00: I like simplicity too.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_00: I love I love space.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, last question.
• 1:04:37
  SPEAKER_00: What is your idea of heaven?
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're just heaven.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, this is an interesting thing.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, aren't you glad you asked this question?
• 1:04:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think so.
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_02: Because, see, people, and this is something that I don't particularly like about religion, is they they talk about heaven like it's like we we look forward to going there.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_02: And um because we don't like being here, but in heaven it's so much better.
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, well, you know, that's not really my way, because what I believe is that we can actually bring heaven to earth.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_02: So we when we are in this creation phase, we are kind of like this living, breathing, heavenly creature that gets to actually just put yourself in here and think, wow, like this is this is heaven.
• 1:05:31
  SPEAKER_02: This is the way, you know, that it's uh it's not separate from me.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_02: It is me.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_02: This is one united being of of I don't know, of race or whatever.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if you you I think for me, the mission, one of the missions in my life has just to become an a fully integrated being so that.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_02: I can feel like I am not separate from God, but I am actually part of God.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_02: God works within me, and then if I can trust that integration, then life is working for me.
• 1:06:14
  SPEAKER_02: So that even when things don't go according to plan, there is a reason for it.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_02: So what how is it in my favor?
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so yeah, that's my definition of heaven is just living it, living, being that's being in it.
• 1:06:35
  SPEAKER_02: Wonderful.
• 1:06:35
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_02: So did you bring a question for me today?
• 1:06:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I would like to know.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what's what's your inspiration?
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_02: What's your what's what drives you to do what you do to be who you are?
• 1:06:53
  SPEAKER_02: Just put yourself in the world.
• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because I have tried to quit so many times.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think like I don't have to be doing this, I could just be retired or something, retired from I don't know what, but um yeah, I wow.
• 1:07:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm inspired by right now.
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_00: I would say I'm I'm inspired by becoming my authentic self and knowing that that is possibly a process that will never end.
• 1:07:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um sharing that with other people.
• 1:07:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I I wrote in my book that um I feel like my job here is to become myself and to let you become yourself, and that sounds so easy, but it's so hard.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's so hard.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to become yourself and it's hard to really fully accept someone else because we have all these ideas about what they should be, and um I'm really looking forward to seeing how that plays out on earth as more and more people step into their authenticity.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's gonna get a lot easier to be in communion with people, to be in community with people, because once you umce you feel that in someone, there's this beautiful acceptance that it's good, it's it's wonderful, you know, who they are as they are.
• 1:08:43
  SPEAKER_00: But getting there has been such a long journey for myself.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, so long.
• 1:08:48
  SPEAKER_00: And and still, of course, every day I'm discovering new things that need to fall off.
• 1:08:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if if I let that get to me, then you know, I can it has, of course, it's like, oh, you know, but um this idea that it's a never-ending process, that not only are we going to become more ourselves, but as we're moving toward that, we become more and more and more and more.
• 1:09:15
  SPEAKER_00: So there's always more to discover, and it becomes more a path of discovery than a path of healing at some point.
• 1:09:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 1:09:28
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, I think it's about being on that discovery.
• 1:09:34
  SPEAKER_02: So it is the discovery because I believe that the the healing comes as a process, you know, it's it's not a separate kind of uh, you know, I don't, you know, we don't have to fully heal because we probably know that that's not possible, you know, or that might not be our place on in this lifetime.
• 1:09:56
  SPEAKER_02: But I think if we can go on the discovery, then we're in the discovery and the healing will take place as as it does.
• 1:10:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, as it does.
• 1:10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful.
• 1:10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you so much for being my guest today.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_00: It has been wonderful, and um I've really enjoyed following you on Facebook, and I encourage everybody to look you up and keep track of this book that you're writing because I think it's gonna be a good one.
• 1:10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we'll get back together um when the book when both of our books are out and talk about them.
• 1:10:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, let's do that.
• 1:10:29
  SPEAKER_02: Let's do that.
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you very much for having me.
• 1:10:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's been a real pleasure to to talk to you.
• 1:10:35
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Kristen.