Latest / The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast / Episode 66: Secret Of The Ooze

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Episode 66: Secret Of The Ooze · The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: On Guard, Tom on Guard.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I've been fencing. I've been fencing. I should
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: have left it on for the crack cut for the
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: for the video, just free to amuse you because I
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: had specters of muck although the only way to get
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: into the ground at the minute. Sure, but hello everybody, Yeah,
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: I was fencing, not with a foil and a fucking
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: bee's beekeeper's mask. I was actually driving fence posts. I
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: had the young flaw spraying the ground with water and
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: it was actually working for the And guess what I
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: was using to make a hold, char Guess what I
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: was using. I mentioned this disimplement a couple of weeks
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: ago as well well, going out the trees A book
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: rakes time?
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, a book brake time? Yes, indeed, yes, yes, that's
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: the time of a book.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Crack about ten fifteen kilos have a fucking steel pipe
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: like pointed and it made a fu noble Jobum, but
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: I didn't realize Nerd did the un flap point out
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: me that I looked like I'd been shot with a
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: fucking spatter gone or I'd fly shit or just big
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: fucking freckles on over my face. A brown shite, And
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: just as I was walking into recording at she was like,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: you know, I got to give the face now rub
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: their hand? So why she goes, oh no, actually leave
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: it on. Make Jerry happy.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: You know. Do you ever see the did we mention
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: this is the Tom and Jerry Show? By the way,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well there we are anyway. Yeah, Tom told
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: me he was fencing, not the Olympic fans. Yeah yeah, yeah,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: it's platter with kreaso. Tom, do you know you probably
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: would would have liked to see that, because you know
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: the way sometimes you'll hear like the bodybuilders in competition,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Oh they look like they've been covered in kreaso. You
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: were actually covered in creasos.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: They don't look like they were covered grease. So trust me,
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I've had creaso around me and don't look like that.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: At no point did I have a fucking ate back anyway,
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: I can tell you that much.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: But and I'm gonna tell you one thing as well. Tom,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: you didn't have it on you today, but back in
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: the day, I dare say you had some of the
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: good old fashioned.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I was only I was only schooling herself about it
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: as well. She's like, it's crazo Is that toxic. The
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: stuff nowadays not a bit, not a bit, not a
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: bit of it, but the stuff back back in the day.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: You look directly at that part, you'll go blind. As
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: simple as that.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: It was the old creos kill you dead. The new
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: kreosote is more like kind of my wadi kreoso. You
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: could just water dead enough you drink it like.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: This will tell you for anybody you know, you go
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: to the hardware and you get pressure treated. It's kind
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: of the yellow timber that can be used in watery
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: scenarios like where weather beaten scenarios are outdoor whatever, or
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: you get you get plane normal boring to the you know,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: white deal or whatever, a red deal. The old man
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: made the gates on the front of the house out
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: of white deal. Pressure timber wasn't to be had back
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: in nineteen eighty one. But he soaked him in crease o.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: And guess what you are. They're fucking immaculate. Forty forty
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: years forty no, forty four years, almost forty five years later,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: they're still immaculate. They haven't even bowed. He just soaked it.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Increase So Tom, I know it's not necessarily just creosote,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: but show me an esb pole that buckled.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: There you go, there, you go, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you the only problem we have with the
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: is p poles around here is the Irish fucking woodpecker.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: He's like a fucking hilty fucking drill up there and
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: he does these concentric circles around the pole, fills with
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: acorns and then the pole goes, well, fuck me, there's
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: somebodyos to drill in. They've got fucking lips like concrete.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Them fuckers. They will get into a pole, I'm telling you.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Now, let me let me see if we're keeping score
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: for on our Tom and Jerry bingo cards. We've got
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: hilty drills, bodybuilding kreaso fence, and we're five minutes in.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: And we've got we've got Irish woodpeckers. They're they're probably
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: one of the toughest animals out there.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: So you know, when we say welcome to the Tam
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: and Jerry Show, you know we don't We don't ease
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: you into it. Folks, if this is your first time listen,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I just thin is about the speed we're dealing with here.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: All the duo podcasts that are popular right now, and
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: I can fucking promise you. Sorry, sorry for Fan and
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Jeff and from the get go, but you know what
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: I mean. I've been out doing manly stuff. They I
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: can not one other combined episode have started like this.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: There you go, there you go, Well listen, I'll say
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: we better get into show proper or we'll just talk.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: We got from fence into Woodpecker's in an awful or
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: here now Tom, But let's know if this is indeed
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: your first time listening to the show, which I did
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: at this stage where Ireland's most steadily plowing podcast. But
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I from the off chance it is your first episode.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Here's what we do on the Tom and Jerry Show
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: with a couple of segments where we go through little
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: bits and pieces, the first of which is a look
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: back at a big piece of news that me and
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Tom learned during the week, whatsoever it may be or
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: wheresoever we may have found it, We take a little
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: chat about it in a segment called the weekly what
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: have You. This is a very complicated case, mad you know,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: a lot of outs, a lot of what have you
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: and a lot of scrans to keep.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: In my head.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Man, done it again?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Tom, Sorry, Jerr, sorry for this now. But they literally
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: went we revive. That's the title we revived.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: It was the title of the headline of an article
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: that Tom sent to me, and I knew immediately this
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: can't be good.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: It's not going to be good there. It's not going
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: to be good on so many levels, Like what what
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: have they revived?
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Now? I mean, sometimes dead is better.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: We did the dire Wolf, We've done you know, we
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: brought did the hairy little mouse from the house the
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: same company. And you're going, okay, well, I can you
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: know what I mean, I can see that coming at me.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: I could use a pickax handle maybe or something to
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: you know, to deal with it. I could shoot it
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: from a distance, something I could. I can deal with
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: the hero now in the four legged, hairy toothed looking thing. Yes, oh,
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: chrised almighty. I'm sorry for anybody who might have watched
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: The Last of Us, because yeah, that's where we're fucking going.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: A team of scientists, scientists, I know, I know, they
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: have discovered and revived one of the oldest life forms.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: Well actually it's on record, one of the oldest life
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: forms in the world, seven thousand year old algae they
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: found way down Now it's fucking down there for a reason,
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: way down where no sunlight can get to it. In
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: the Baltic Sea, they found various different types of algae
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: and stuff like that, but they found this one particular
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: one that was at the deepest point. And I was
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: just shy of the seventh thousand year old mark. And
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: they're so excited. They can't see anything wrong with this,
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: a tall tall. They are absolutely ecstatic with themselves. They're
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: just look at this. It's in the you, you know
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: the world. Where's Leibniz, where's that it is that Croatia.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Or something sounds Spanish?
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: To meet Tom it's got in it. It ain't American,
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: that's all. And now so this this Sarah Bollias, she's delighted,
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: such the small deposits, like I'm going to do a
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Pan European accent.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: If that's all right, going to be as accurate as
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: everyone's going to be done.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I could just do fred Dibner for such depozzles like this.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: This is exactly what sounds like doctor Syah Bullius, is
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: what she sounds like of the Baltic Sea Research Company.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: The puzzles are like a time capsule, contain involuable information
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: like about past ecosystems and the inhabitt in biological communities,
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: their population development and genetic changes. Sorry, I want to
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: be saf there towards the end, I can only apologize
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: for the changes.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Uh, do you know what I'm going to tell you
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: every time that they revives something, Tom, You're you're you're
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: taking a punt that this won't kill the world instantly.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: But I did. That's exactly what I'm saying.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Like, it's a point what But to be fair, I
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: won't say to nature if it's a her nature to
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: be inquisitive and find these things and revive them. If
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: that is what evolution has done to man, made it
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: into a being that it cannot leave, well the fucking
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: en off alone, then I suppose this was inevitably going
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: to happen. But something like this, all all this is
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: going to be is like if you can imagine if
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: the ancient Egyptians buried a cursed mummy and the road awards,
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: do not open this tomb on the inside of the
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: coffin lid that you could only see it after you
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: opened it. Put that ship on the outside, put that
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: warning on the outside. I've already opened it. He's out
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: now he's eaten me.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: But should I mean, there is no end of movies
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: telling us to stay the fuck away from the scenario.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: And I mean it's leadness. It's actually a German association
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: this crowd, So take from that what you will, but
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: it's they have Look if anybody's ever watched you know,
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: the fucking Raiders of the last arc, you know what
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about. Like they went after things they shouldn't
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: have gone after alone, rhyme nor reason into going out.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: And they're so excited about this. They haven't said anything
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: for what it's like, they haven't created anything here. I
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: don't know why they get any funding for this other
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: than find an ultra viruses because they've found the same
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: company found ultraviruses. By the way, this is this is
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: the kind of thing Tom.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: This reminds me, you know, the way every now and then,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: like the polar ice caps will recede another couple of
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: miles and it'll unveil something lost in the permafrost from
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: the ice age that is instantly poisonous to mankind.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like that's how botox came about. Botox. It's it's
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: diluted down one million to one, so that it and
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: even still it freezes your freight face into a stroke victim.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: So it was discovered as that it's a bacteria that
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: was I'm guessing at some point was underneath the perma frost.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: But they found here's the thing. They're like, well, you
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: know there's somebody challenging them here, and they're like, well
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: there was viruses have been found, you know technically that
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: are older. But they're like, isn't a living organism that
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: was Like does it matter? It's got every chance of
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: killing you, Like like the there is. What I'm saying
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: is at least if you found a crowd that had
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: developed the thing and went it you.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, just press delete on that one.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: These fuckers went down and found it, brought it back
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: up and brought it back to life.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about that, Tom Okay,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: I want to talk you about the bringing it back
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: to life, all right. And again we talked earlier about
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: how we've talked about scientists bringing back wooly mammoth mice,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: which a little hairy mice, and bringing back dire wolves
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: and all this kind of crack. I can I can,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: I can see some genetic cloning going on there. Yeah, okay.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: And if a dire wolf comes at me, I should
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: it would have done. And if a mouse comes at me,
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: I hit with a spade. But you're bringing back like goop.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: You're bringing back the blob. You're going to breathe this
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: sun bitch into your lungs and turn inside that.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: You're bringing back nasty flobber. That's what you're bringing back,
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: nasty flobber like No and one. And can I give
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: you one terrifying thing here that would be at the
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: big first seven minutes of any opening of any virus
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: TV series on her visual listen to this. This is
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: horror picture. This woman, she's this doctor. She's sitting at
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: a maybe a Questions an Answer style setting, or maybe
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: she's at a news desk or whatever under goes. She
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: tells doctor what is it that fascinates about it? And
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: she just comes straight back. Okay, she's German, right. So
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: it is remarkable that the rat directed algae has not
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: survived just so, but apparently they've not lost any of
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: their fitness. I e. Is a biological performances ability. Wait
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: for this sentence. They grow divide and photo synthesis like
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: modern descendants Jesus Christ above you know.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: And here's the thing with the good doctor. But Tom,
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: what I gotta tell you about this now is they
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: say that they brought this by, they say that they
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: revived it. Algae is pardon me now, Tom, but that's
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: green shit from ponds, Like that's moss, right, that's this
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: green shit from pans. So if that is dead and
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I want to revive it, it sounds to me like
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: they just stored it in a jar of water.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: This is why I'm saying these fuckers like they got
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: their paper probablish and everything like, but you did nothing.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: You did not.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: You left it out on the window sill, That's what
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: you did. And now all of a.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Sudden you put the cotton of a tree in it.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: This seven thousand year old, fucking vampire algae, which is
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: probably going to eat us all. I mean, if that
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: gets into the ocean, like, there's a reason why it's dead.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: There's a reason why it was dead. At the bottom
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: of the ocean. Nature had a way of pushing it
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: down there and going no, no, no, no, no, no,
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: no no no, you stay down there, you fucking stay
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: down there. Otherwise we're going to have to blow this
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: whole thing up. We're going to tell you.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: You know, we're going to tell you what we're going
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: to do with this algae. And the people, the fine
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: listeners of the Tom and Jerry Choken row in with
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: their suggestions. But I'm gonna tell you now, Tom, before
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: it kills.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Us, we have to kill it. Yeah, yeah, I.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Kill this thing fucking instantly. And I think I know how.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Okay go, if they're going to bring back something from
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: seven thousand years ago that humans up today have never
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: interacted with and could kill us on site, because it's
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: just something that we have no defense against, we have
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: to go at it with something it has no defense against.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: I say, we fucking hit it with something that nature
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: never created. I say we melt down open fruits and
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: poured into it. I say, we get a Dan barrn
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: throw it at this thing.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: I reckon we might have mentioned it at the very top.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: And look, I'm not saying it's going to be entirely
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: environmentally friendly, but we got to. You gotta crack a
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: few eggs to make an omelet? What say you? Because
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure I know whe there's a kind of
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: the old stuff. You and me fly to Germany. Oh,
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: we fucking drenched the place. Increase. It's killing, it's killing
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: whatever's inside that that lab. I'm talking.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you now, I don't even think think we
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: need Chris O. Tom, I reckon. We go at it
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: with like blue W A K D. Just something that
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: nature never intended to be on this planet. Like that's
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: the good slime. That's just the one we get it with.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Just dip in a ride of rovers bar and that's it.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: It's exactly okay, all right, I'm with you. And just
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: just to make they haven't given it like a phon name,
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: or they haven't even given it a code name. No,
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: they've given it a fucking name name like this. Oh Christ,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: the species consistently wake up as was Yes, so this
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: is what they've called it, right, or this is what
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: it's been titled as skeletonemia.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Skeletonemia, Ye, wonderful, not terrifying at all. Didn't fight that
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: in Resident Evil, Okay, yeah, Jesus Christ, Yeah, I know,
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, day were straight further from God's light. Well, Tom,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: you know I'm too terrified to talk about those lads anymore.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: So we're gonna move it on to something perhaps a
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: little bit more lighthearted. Let's try. Okay, this is we
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: came in with hard walk with the fence and now
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: we've got the murder goop on the fucking rage here now,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: so let's see if we can get it a little
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: bit more lighthearted. In the second segment of the show,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: which you know, again, we talk about people that have
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: I kicked their coverage Tom in the course of a week,
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: people who go from being yeah, you know those lads
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: over there to being someone that you look at them
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: and go, oh shit for this lad. Now there's that
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: guy or I believe Tom, these lads as the case
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: may be.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: When you could decipher you could you could pay it
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: all back and give it to one lad in a
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: kind of a I suppose a sideways the plow a
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: round the plaws. Further, as a result of this, you
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: could give it to Saint John the Baptist, because it
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: is it's in celebration of Saint John the Baptist that
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: this sport has played.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: I've mentioned it a few times and I've talked about it,
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: but I've never really gone in depth into it because
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: I I didn't know enough about it. But I've watched
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: two series of it. I watched I pretty much watched
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: all of last seasons. You know, they did Championship, which
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: is last only it only lasts a week and the
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: games are really fast to watch.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: For reasons that will become apparent here.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because no human was survived this long, like unless
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: you're well, you know, from leitrom or something. But it
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: is Calcio Historico, Fo Calcio Historico.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: We salute these lads. The players of Calcio Storico are
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: indeed the originator of Calcio Storico. Sint John the Baptist,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: who you mightn't have thought was the sportsman, but some
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: man for the header.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Well, I think it's it's more or less in celebration
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: for him, because it came up the header. Come on,
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: yeah right, sorry, I was getting excited there. No yeah, yeah, okay,
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: so Janda Baptists, of course, So.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Did he invent this fucking thing?
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: I was not at all. No, no, no, this is
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: much later than him. It was aristocrats back in the
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: day who basically wanted like the Italians. You wouldn't think
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: of m as being hardly hers because they put don't
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: put themselves forward like that, because things like you know,
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: fashion Week in Milan getting the fuck away of all that.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: But realistically, for the longest time, the Italians have been
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: rock hoard bastards like.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: They've been the Roman's ever done for us, Tom, the aqueduct.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: But you go back to the Colosseum days. These fellas
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: love murder like they love absolute collision like they lot so.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: But this was actually brought about as a result of
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: the aristocrats, of course, like many sports were brought about
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: the aristocrats. But they wanted to put together some sort
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: of sport that would harden these fellas up before they
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: came became like fully fledged out of the the the academy.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: I suppose they figured, no, you've lived soft out for
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: com penze lifestyle, has gone around with your powdered wigs
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: and whatnot. We need to come up with something to
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: hard knee, you know.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Literally to knock the corners of you. So Calcio Historical,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: walk me through a game here, Tom of Calcio Storical.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: We actually we actually mentioned this in past. I forget
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: when it was a couple of weeks ago. It's a
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: it's a sport.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: By all accounts, it is a sport has played only
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: in Florence right now, has been played like it's been
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: played in the Vatican City. Even a couple of popes
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: have played this, like Clement the seventh, Leo the the
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: eleventh and Clement the seventh, Clement the seventh. I mean,
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: it's a great sports name, isn't it. But it was
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: it was kind of between Epiphany and Lent, that was
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: kind of thing. And then they went, well, look we'll
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: give it to Saint John the Baptist, right, But it
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: was put together and kind of create as again because
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: it was a wild shit up until the sixteenth century.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: But a fellow called Giovanni Mandy he he kind of
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: put it together with some rules. It was like Jesus Christ,
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: all right. But essentially what it is you twenty seven
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: players either side, no substitutes, right, no substitutes, which I like,
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: throw them all on.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: So just the fifty four.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Just to fifty four. Now you'll have your captain and
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: flag bear standard bear up at the goals. They don't read.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: They're needed like a coach in themselves. They don't really
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: they are captain, but they don't really participate in that.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: They're just kind of calling a barking out orders. They
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: actually have their own little tent up by the goals,
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: which is insane. It's they up up by it. Goes
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: have their own little tent. So the idea is it's football.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: If you imagine football, rugby and UFC, that's a sense
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: of what you're talking about. So so yeah, exactly exactly.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: It's played. It's played in the Piazza Santa Crutchet, which
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: I once fell asleep on in Florence, and they cover
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: it all in sand. It's a couple of it's it's
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: again it's a rectangle shaped pitch. Doesn't really matter. They
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: need sand because a lot of lads are hitting the
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: deck fairly fast. The goals are simplistic enough. It's kind
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: of an open mouthed net towards one end that's kind
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: of up off the ground a bit, and you can
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: carry it. You can carry the ball, don't have to
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: bounce it like basketball. You just can run with the
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: fucking round ball.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: It sounds it sounds quidditchy.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if quiddache you know, I suppose it's quiddage from
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: behind the bins, if you know what I mean, Like
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: it's as.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: Quiddage without the broomsticks. I mean, it's more violence.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: It's way off Broadway quidditch.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: This is this is a this is a yeah. I mean,
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: now you can all lay into each other, right, And
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: that's the whole idea, is that you you you flatten
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: as many fellows you can out of your way, because
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, you're just going to get speared like a
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: fucking deck chair if you just go running and the
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: other twenty seven lads are still standing. So your other
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: twenty six have to make to make sure to try
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: and absolutely reef the rest into the ground, punch the
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: shit out, and you want to keep them on the ground.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: So there's no point just gone, I'm just gonna hold
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: you here. Well, that guy around the path you gotta
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: knock the bollocks out of Basically, now there's.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm seeing like a more violent form of
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: the flying V from Mighty Ducks.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: That's exactly it. That's exactly it. Now it's tops off.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: You can wrap the knuckle. I don't know you're not
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: allowed to wrap the knuckles. You can wrap the wrists,
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: all right, because apparently you know that's for whatever reason.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: You can't wrap the knuckles, but you can at the
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: risks wrapped the forearms. Most lads are tops off because
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean, you may as well at
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: that stage.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, gotta have something for the ladies, something.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: For the ladies. Now it's split up into four as
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: provinces from around the city, just given their own colors.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: So the Blues, the Reds, the Whites, and the Greens.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I'm not here and not Quidditch here, buddy, No, right, nough,
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: Right now, there's.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Four is ten points for griffindor over here.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Now we'll say it is not mixed. It is not mixed.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: It's straight up dudes being the dudes.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Is there is there ladies casco on the other side.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: I looked for it and there absolutely isn't. Wikipedia just
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: went blank.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Even the most hardcore feminists were like, now you can
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: keep this one once.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah we have Yeah, okay.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: We don't need a quality in this regard. You use
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: use work away. We're gonna be grand. We don't need
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: to be fucking Mordernan the middle of a square here.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Now, it's fair to say, right, the the Uh, the
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: the Centibri and Novelle, the Rossie or the Reds are
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: like fucking straights ahead of everybody. They've won so many
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: tournaments in the last few hundred years, like they're miles
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: ahead of everybody. A few of the whites. I can't
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: even see on the record where the Greens have won,
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: but there's oh sorry, way back and they had one
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: goal of at ninety six, but the amount of times
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: that you'll see it popped up and it's actually says
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: no winner declared because they actually had to call the match.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: They were like a for fox sake, just all out carnage.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Let's just I was gonna say, like if if if
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: you have one guy run for a goal, as they
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: say in Italy, right, he's going for a goal, and
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: the remaining twenty six people on his team have to
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: take care of dudes. And if it's one man per dude,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: that means no matter which way you cut it, there's
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: always going to be at least one dude to stop
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: you go for the goal.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah of course, but I mean you've got your elbows
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: out too, like you know what I mean, you're giving
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: him the Heisman Trophy kind of style thing, like you
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: know what I mean, you're giving it like you do,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: you know, so you do. Lads are trying to free
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: themselves up too from a scrap to try it at
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: least be there for a pass. I guess that's what
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: it looks like. It's very hard to watch because, to
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: be fair, the fighting is brilliant, Like you're watching so
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: many lads who trained to scrap. There doesn't seem be
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: an awful lot of training with the ball from what
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: I watched. It just seems to be because the actual
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: scorer of the goal is a piece a piece, like
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: literally you know what I mean, A chicken would score
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: the goal at the end, but it's to getting to
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: it is absolutely fergus. Now I have to tell you
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: right there are rules.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Now, please walk me through the rules, Tom, because I
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: watched a little bit of this and it just it
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: just seemed to be don't get too much blood on
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: the ground was the only rule.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: No. You see, there'd been a fair few debts and
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: like lads getting like we're talking severely in like fucking
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: we're talking speired onto their head, never fucking some never
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: eating their own food again, like you know what I mean.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: So things like to cut out the fatal injuries, right,
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: and this is like after when there's been no A tournaments,
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: like saying twenty fourteen canceled because like it was canceled
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: before even they got to the finals, so you have
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: two semi finals technically, and then the winners of both
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: of us go on to play the finals. So it's
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: just two matches or you know what I mean, three
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: matches in total. So but in twenty fourteen, like they
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: did pull it, they went off. So typically then a
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: couple of rule changes will happen for the next year
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: because they're like, sure, nobody's gonna watch this. There's not
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: so things like soccer punches, kicks to the head currently banger,
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: so then that word is definitely in their currently band.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: We're going to take it on. A kick to the
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: headway kicked to the head.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Basis exactly because you know what I mean, you gotta
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: suck it. And see not every kick to the head
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: is the same, like you know what I mean, So
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: head budding still allowed, but within reason. Elbowing and choking,
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: you know, they're they're frowned upon, but they're not outlawed.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: Soccer punches like snaky ones coming in the side and
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: kicks to the head have been really the ones that
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: tend to kill people, so they've kind of outlawed them,
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: you know, because let's be honest, you know, yeah, more
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: than anything, you don't want to cancel the show, do
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean? So this typically it kicks
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: off on the third week of June two, just in
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: case you were ever thinking of going worked with Lovely.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Time to go to Lovely? Yeah, do you know what
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: I mean? So the idea is that you do incapacitate
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: enough players. That's the simplicity of it. You It starts
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: off again much like yourself chair they love and now
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: in Latin culture they love an our rocket or cannon.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: They started by shooting at cannon to tell you no whistle.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: That's when you know. That's when you know it's going.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: That's when you know what's going. Now, there is a
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: referee and you do have to follow his rules, but
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: let's be honest, he's probably smoking a vague over the
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: side because what job does he have now. Rules, goals
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: can be out, you know, canceled and stuff like that,
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: so they'rede Yeah, yeah, there are different things. Now. The
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: game its entirety is in is fifty minutes long, but
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: there's no changing over the halfway mark. You literally change.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: This is mental. I don't know. Every time somebody scores
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: a goal, you change sides, so you switch around every
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: time a goal is now, you better score that goal,
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: right because if you only make a half hearted effort
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: at it and fuck it up, say you hit the crossbarrel,
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: well you you miss it, but you did definitely go
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: for a goal. But you miss, do you? Other team
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: gets a half point? I know, I know. It's the
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: cruel cruel world, yeah, which I kind of like the
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: idea of it. Now when you'd win, because this is
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: a nun you know, this is an unprofessional sport. When
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: you do win, the team once upon a time used
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: to receive a a chianine, a type of pure bred cow. Nice,
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: but that's been done away with. Now it's a free
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: dinner for the winning team.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, one way or another, you're getting that cow.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah exactly.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Don't you need to take him home yourself and cook him, buddy,
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: We'll do it for you right here now.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: In recent times. And this isn't because when I read
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: it first was like, this must be way back, is it?
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: It's not at all. It's in recent times when when
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: it comes, when the game is wearing on a small
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: bit and this is you love this because this is
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: right up your Street. When the game starts to wear
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: on a small bit and it's calming down, and it's right,
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: everybody's starting to guess out a small bit, they let
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: a few bulls into the free just alive, and things
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: up a little. I think this is.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Where we mentioned it when I was talking about the
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: bull run while back. Yeah, it okay, what cannot be
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: benefited Tom by releasing livestock into the mix.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: I don't see anything wrong with it whatsoever, Like let
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: him off, just yeah, you just let in it. Just
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: just I love Do you know what I love about that? Right?
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: The notion of that is that so often, like sports
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: can go up their own hole, right and go, you know,
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: player benefit, you know, and before they know it, like
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: they'll have a drop off in numbers and they'll go, well,
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: we don't understand why, Like we tried to make the
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: game as best as we could. And you're, like, you
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: never once taught on a spectator sitting in the stand
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: with the can of you know, berra moretti, han of wine,
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: a can of wine or a beer moretti, and he's
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: got definitely like a camel light. In the other hand,
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: he and his missus they want to see some bovines
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: left into the fucking pitch. Yeah, do you know what
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: I mean?
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Otherwise you're not gonna you know, they might come. You know,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you how they might come see you once.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: Now you said that you're not gonna get.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: The return money. You and I both know that's where
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: you get them tumas in the return money.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: And the return money can only be brought about. I
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: can't see any other way other than letting a few
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: wolves in there. But do you know what. Wolves wouldn't
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: be Italian? Do you know they got away?
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: They wouldn't be It wouldn't be right, or would you Tom?
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: I can see me coming like the fucking wish master
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: here now next time you're doing a stand up gag
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: with fifteen minutes ago like m yeah.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Be careful what you wish for Tom?
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Here he comes.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: So yeah, the the the only way is to actually
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: I do like this and it keeps it very very
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: tribal in that you can only because I mean, there
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: would have been a few blowings. I'd saying a few
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: ringers brought in a round place. But it was this
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: is back in like the early eighties. They changed that.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: You can only if you're born in Florence. It's the
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: only way you can play. I don't know about switching
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: allegiances to the different. I wouldn't imagine that it had
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: happened to Handy if you're born there or have at
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: least been a bona fide resident in Florence for ten years.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: So get get started now that I'm just saying, if
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: you you.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Know what I want to tell you, I think you
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: know they are welcome to keep this one.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: How about that, Jesus Christ, though you got to take
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: your cab like, there's be more made. There would be
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: more made of it if it wasn't so mental like
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: there's such.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: No tom that's just because if you were to walk
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: past this and look at it, it just looks like
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: a riot. It doesn't look like an organized sport. Always
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: that there's a ball there.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Well, what I love is like you've these lads who
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: are absolute raw bastards, right they're out there, you know,
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: tatted up to the neck like they're you know, they're
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: full of testosterone. There's no way they're not, like because
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: you would why wouldn't you take a lot of gear
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: before this?
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: There's no no, no, no, it's it's but then if
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: you look at the pumping ceremony around the lead being
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: led to the pitch, like they wear like you.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Know, conquistador obviously not conquist door because that's not geographical correct,
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: but you know, the sort of garb like pantaloons and
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: big hats and every and they lead them to the
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: you know, nearly like the Swiss Guard kind of thing.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: They lead them with all flags and pump and they
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: offer a day at the tourney kind of a day
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: you know, like.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Because you know, as you say, they're tom like, it's
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: not like these are like toothless lads, you know, spuds
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: with arms and legs. These are like, you know, tanned
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: well but muscled up, tattooed looking lads. I mean, like
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: a better name for the sport would be hate Island.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: But do you know that every one of them, Like
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: you have these lads up the front like something out
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: of you know, a period drama, you know, and medieval
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: period drama. And then you have the lads at the back,
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: look like they escaped with Riddick from that floating you
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: know what I mean, floating fucking jail in space. Jesus
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: Christ top Why is such a juxtaposition? And then everybody
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: sits back like in you know, their chinos and whatnot,
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: and you know rattler and shirts, and these lads should
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: be let near humans only only these fifty four lads
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: should be allowed near each other. And that nowhere else
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: in society. The notion that these lads go back to
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: do no normal jobs, like we say this, you know
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: hurling Gale, but I mean hurling Gaelic football. Are majestic
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: people like they are?
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they are.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: The nutcracker on the west End.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: They are badminton yeah by by comparison. Tell him before
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: we get off this, I've got one question, one simple
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: question for your buddy.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: What did John the Baptist to do with it? In this.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Jesus I s I mean, I think they're just using
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: John for the crack. To be honest with you, whatever,
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: Saint if Saint Dolly Parton landed in this particular date
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: that they wanted landed between Epiphany and Lent, you know.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: That's just leave dude. I reckon it might have started
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: playing with his skull.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: I reckon that might have been the case, but it doesn't.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: I mean, what is I think is he this patron
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Saint of Florence I think he is. Actually I'm nearly sure.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: He's the patron Saint to Florence, which one second, the
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: patron Saint of Florence. There we go. That's why he
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: got that, That's where he got that.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: What can we say? What can we say?
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Calcio the historical Fiorentino.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: There you go, there you go. Have you ever been
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: to it? Ladies and gentlemen, would you like to go
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: to it? Got it? You know? Show us a picture
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: of your toothless maw in the comments? But Tom, we uh.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: The one thing about all those guys that's playing that sport,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: it's very possible if they take a hit too many,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: they're not going to remember for call in the morning.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: No, not like you.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: And I because were memory stretches way back, Buddy, stretches
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: all the way back for forty years. Because both you
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: and I were born in the nineteen eighties. We've seen
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: a lot of shit over the years. Buddy's seen a
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: lot of things change. We talk about some of the
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: things that have changed in our lives in the closing
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: segment of the show, which we call we Remember when.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: When I was a young lad twenty or thirty or
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: forty years ago, you dropped this one on me.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you, Yeah, there reason this is simple,
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: and again for anybody, that's for any of the under
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: twenty year old people who who listened to this show.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: You know, both of you there, No, we haven't sons.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: Definitely, we definitely have a few. Because I had him
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: at the people come up to me at the weekend, and.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: This is probably going to be the strangest one for
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: a young person. But me and Tom remember when dogs
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: were different. Yeah, and not just a little bit different. Tom.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: It seems to me like there's night and day between
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: a dog of twenty twenty five and a dog of
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: the nineteen eighties.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like a lot of it. Okay, let's take in
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: dog breeds aside, right, A lot of it comes down
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: to the treatment of dogs. I remember I tried this
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: bit before and I couldn't. The short version always worked,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: but the long version never worked because I think it
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: upset too many people. They had Mendela affected. I keep
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: using this phrase but around this segment, but it fucking
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: happens more and more. Right, people have Mendela affected themselves
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: into believing that dogs were treated like they are today.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: Forty years ago, they were. They did not have the
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: same status. I can tell you that much like I'm.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: Gonna tell you what a dog was and Tom, when
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: I was growing up, wasn't allowed in the house.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean they come running in all right for
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: a biscuits, but they be sent back out again.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: They it was you know, maybe an older dog might
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: like get to lie by the fire for the last
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: years of the life or something like that, But it
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: wasn't this crack that the dog lived in the house,
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: in its own little bed, in its own little you
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: know what. I don't even know where to start with
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: this one, Tom, I guess what I'm gonna do is
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: start with dog breeds. When we were growing up, there
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: were maybe four or five dog breeds. Jack Russell, a
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: lassy dog as we would have known, sheep sheep dog yeah,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: an Alsatian, and a mongrel Yeah, and quite often, And
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: that mongrel wasn't make of any of those. Was just like,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: roll up, roll up, here's a Jack Russell crossed with
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: a colleague across with a sheep dog. There was no
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: pugs when I was grown uptown. Did you see a
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: pug child?
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: I think I later, maybe in my teens, I heard
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: of a hug or saw a pug on a on
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: a telly or something, and I was like, oh, what
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: in the name, Like, I just thought it was a
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: dog that had gone wrong, you know what I mean,
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: They're taking it out of the oven too early. You know,
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: it just didn't look right.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell I'm
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: actually gonna throw two more, two more dogs in, and
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: that there was golden retrievers, and there was guide dogs,
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: which was a labor Golden retrievers.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, now, I we didn't know our neighbors. Now they
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: had moved back from England, so they brought they were
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: breeders of these what would you call them? They were
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: mountain dogs, but there were snow white. They were as
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: big as as big husky. No, they were exactly the
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: same as the brandy bearing guys.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, but there was no white. They might have went
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: out with the algae time, to be honest, with.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: Huge things, but they rarely and then they got rid
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: of them and got into Pomeranians in the nineties.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: And I want to talk about this, right, I was.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Thinking, what the fuck is the point of that thing?
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: I want to talk about this. There was one Pomeranian
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: when I was small, and its like like, this is
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: how mental it is to explain this to someone younger
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: that back in the day you remember a specific dog
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: because you had never in your life seen the like
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: of it before. There was a little old lady in
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: Nyskian village and she was very nice lady, and we
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: would see her sometimes we went up to the graves
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: and she had a little Pomeranian dog called Queenie, and
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: like the cutest thing you ever seen it, But like
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: you didn't. This would look like fucking Teddy Roxman's little
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: brother came to life.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and it was.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: It wasn't the case of Jesus, I'd love a Pomeranian.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: Where would you get it? Where, Like, show me a
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: farmer that's given them away? Like that was no idea
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: where these fucking things would come from.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: I can honestly every one of my parents' dogs, we said,
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: the dogs we had at home, every one of them
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: came for free from some scenario.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: And there was no concept of paying for a dog
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: more than this.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: In the second no, like we got rescue dogs, a
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: dog that was lived in the corner of slaughter house.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: We got a dog that I'm not sure where some
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: felt that the old worked with He just brought a
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: puppy in in his pocket and gave it to the outlet.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: He brought that home and we had one dog and
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: it had pups before we got it. I don't know
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: we did we ever get a dog neutered, I don't know,
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: but there weren't.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: Just didn't let another dog at it.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: But there wasn't. There was only like working dogs around
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: those like you know border colleages, the black and white dogs,
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: well say black and white, the sheep dogs as we
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: and they were revered animals because it cost big money
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: to train them and they were incredible, like they were
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: working there way ten times over because you would.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: Have a border colleague like you would have a tractor
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: that was an animal.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: That word, yeah, yeah, working, working and people. I remember
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: even there's a couple still around there like and ourselves
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: when she came around first, like that poor dog is
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: outside they want to be because they they are just
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: plugged in waiting for the bass man to come out
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: the door and up the fields.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: I know all the border colleagues to this day and
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: they're still like you know, without the smartest dogs. Oh
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: just like so clever, you know.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: But it's even trying to explain to my wife that
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: sometimes you don't have this. You do not have to
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: stop on the country road when you see a dog
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: because it's not lost. That dog knows where it's after.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, Tom, that's like, you know, you're talking about stray dogs. Okay,
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: the stray dogs as we would have known them in
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: the eighties is a foreign concept, like you have abandoned
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: and neglected dogs, and there are wonderful organizations to take
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: care of them to this day. But in the eighties
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: we had like stray dogs. To say that, to explain
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: that to someone today, it's like explaining oh, the or
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: stray cars, stray children. Yeah, not not a thing like
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: they wear. It was just like, you know, that dog
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: just kind of wander around littless hobo style.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: Again, I had to explain it to a neighbor of
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: ours who had when we lived up near Dublin, and
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: but we were quite close. We were in the country
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: side more or less, and it was they had this
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: dog and it was I don't know what it was.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: I don't honestly know what it was, but it looked expensive.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: But again, it was one of these modern new dogs
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: and it was, ah, I don't know, it was fluffy,
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: but I said that you got to keep that thing
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: underleash because it'll be shot dead. They were like, oh yeah,
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: who would shoot a dog? Like if that dog joins
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: a pack of other dogs and they start chasing around
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: somebody's life livelihood, I eat their sheep, who, by the way,
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: can die of a heart attack from the stress of it.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: You're literally it's literally called worrying sheep. To worry sheep, yes,
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: to worry to worrying sheep, yes, And he will have
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: no quams. And we went camping one time and I
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: remember a couple of our Dublin friends came and during
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: that camp we had my my cousin was there was
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: on their farmer we cloned. They're big, you know, they're
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: cattle farmers themselves, but all their neighbors are sheep farmers.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: And during libers all sitting around the campfire cooking sausages
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: and stuff. And we've done a little bit of hunting,
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: you know, and teaching people how to do field dress
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: and stuff. He got a phone call. He went, I'll
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: be back in one second. Where you after heat there
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: back in a second and all maybe seven or eight
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: minutes later, I could just from over the other side
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: of the hill, like, and then five minutes later he's
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: back down on the squad like what was that? You go?
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: Somebody dog was wandering over on their people's sheep, so
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: you know, And he said this to me, and it
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: just an old memory kind of went ah. But I
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: looked and the five or six people from Dublin were
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: I mean incandest and they were like, who wha what?
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: What?
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: Ready to go home? Like, how how dare you? Like? No, No,
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: he was walking right towards the pile of about two
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: hundred and fifty sheep.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: He was going to kill a whole bunch of sheep.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, so there wasn't even a question, do
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean? So that's what I'm saying.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: The treatment of dogs has so changed, and that is
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: what has brought him.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: In regarded the regarded like and Okay, a couple of
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: things I want to tell you about, right, I want
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: to talk about the rehabilitation of dogs and the public eye.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let's have it.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: Specifically the German shepherd. The pr that has been done
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: German shepherds in my lifetime is sensational because They were
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: not known as German shepherds, ladies and gentlemen. When I
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: was growing up, they were known as Alsatians. And an
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Alsatian was the fucking ex elbowlly of its time.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: And it was the dog of the fucking the light
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: two lightning strikes on your shoulder. It was the preferred
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: dog of the Nazis.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: It was. It was the fucking Nazi war dog. Find
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: its way over to Ireland.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: Or we have a breeder to stand the road now.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Wank wink. But someone on the way to Argentina that
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: dropped off a couple of fucking puppies, right, or I
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: guess maybe soldiers like you can.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: Have made it needed to make it to Argentinam. Some
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: of them became book book publishers.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: Just say we can, we can. We can save that
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: for another episode of this lad comme here to me.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: There were a couple of Alsatians in the countryside that
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: we would have to walk past, and people like uh,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: farmers would keep them on the land to stop trespassers
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: from all this sort of thing. They were guard dogs.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: They were hard working dogs.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: Junk yard dogs too, like most of the scrapyards.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: If you to them, if you got out of your
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: car at the wrong house, this dog would rush you.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: And like people today might say, okay, so the dog
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: would run and menace you and put your back. No, no,
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: bite you go for you, bite you. Oh, but then
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: there would be safeguards to stop them from jumping over
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: a fence and attacking you on the road. Nope, what
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: do you think they were putting up radio collars around
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: their house?
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: No, they weren't invented. Weren't invented.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: What were the thing? There were a couple of houses,
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: now tho a couple of houses. We knew that the
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: dog was on a long chain, and there were a
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: couple of houses that you ran past because there was
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: nothing in the wide early world stopping that dog leaping
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: the hedgerow and going for you.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: There was one one ful I used to I used
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: to like help him out dropping back trucks and small
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: trucks and vents. And I didn't have a vandor truckles,
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: but I would drop it back to his yard every
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: so often if it needed you know, if it was
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: getting worked on, he would I've just one led that
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: he would ring or once asked to v license or whatever.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: But the only way I know you'd always got a
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: good watch of cash for whatever you get thirty or
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: forty pounds into your pocket. But I would always always
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: dropping the van back. If it was like a Saturday evening,
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: I would have dropping it over the minibus. I would
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: have to stop it at the local pedrostationer shop and
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: pretty up a pack of a hand. Yeah, because I
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: was not getting off that fucking getting out of that vehicle.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: If I didn't have hamd for these two dogs, because
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: it just it wasn't happening, they would just sit there
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: baring their teeth. And I'll tell you right now, I
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: don't care who or what you are. How much Jim
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: and you've done, how much Calcico Storico you've done? You
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: hate beaten an Alsatian.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: You're a dog. I've heard a lot of things like
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: all of an excel bowlly you taxi. You should shove
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: your finger up his arch. Great, I'll die with a
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: smelly finger. Wonderful he died, how he lived finger and
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: the dogs are getting his fucking neck ripped out. What
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: we could talk about dog breeds all night. But what
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: we'll do here now before we leave here, is we
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: move on to the general dog industry. Okay, oh my god. Yeah.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna tell you a couple of things that
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: we didn't have growing up. Like when I say we
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: didn't have dog grooming, No, we didn't have dog food.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: Like it wasn't like you were going out and buying
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: cans of dog food for your for your pet. Like
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: maybe there might be.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: If they were sick, you might get a cannon somewhere.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like every supermarket might have. Like honestly, the width
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: that would it would take to have a row of
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: bags of dry meal and a couple of hands of
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: pedigree jump. That was it. That was the entire pet
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: segment of the whole supermarket. And nowadays it's like the
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: whole aisles in a supermarket, let alone, when you go
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: to the Maxi Zoos and the and the what Nuts,
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: where it's an entire superstore dedicated to everything that your
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: dog needs. I'm gonna tell you, Tom, everything your dogs
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: needed in the eighties was a flea collar. That was it.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: That was it collar to keep the fleas away, and
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: that was it.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: The flea color like the should have. For the longest
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: time I know of ves, you wouldn't even look at dogs.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: Come back to me when it's a horse circle, like
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean. He wouldn't even look at
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: a dog.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: He was like when we were growing up, Tom, if
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: you took the notion you wouldn't buy like a retractable
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: lead for your dog. You might put like a bit
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: of a rope his flea collar to lead him around.
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: And someone would lean out the way to have a
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: moving car and go all right, nine O two and oh,
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: walk in your dog.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: I remember we got a tag for the dog and
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: it was I think somebody brought it back from holidays,
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: like literally, it was only from holidays. They brought it
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: back like and you'd have a bit of bail and
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: twent tied onto the flea color of the dog. And
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: that was as much like the bit I used to
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: do was and it was relevant to how things have changed.
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: It was a bit and I had to drop it
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: out because it was too harsh for people. It was
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: literally when I was young, if dogs got sick, you know,
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: it was solved with a cartridge to the head. That's
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: what the amount of dogs the.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: Worship the fucking second dog you've killed in this podcast.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: No, but the amount of dogs that were just shot
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: because era he's not you know, he's too shock And
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: it was it wasn't it was it was more out
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: of the poor bastard. I'd put him out of his misery.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: And you know, there was there was an there was
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: an MP in the in the in the news recently
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: did that on his farm. But he did a real
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: care fucking paid one of his servants to share his dog.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: And he's just like, that's what they do on the farm.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: I was like, come on, that's not the eightiesier anymore.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: Now there's bat the ways of doing this. But but
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: but again with the industries for the dogs, we buy
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: the dog bowl and we'll buy him a separate bowl
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: for water. No note ham In the eighties, you cut
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: the bottom of a two liter bottle of seven up
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: and that was the dog's drinking bowl.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: Maybe if I if I remember correctly, the old man
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: cut the side out of a two little cart and
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: a milk. Yeah, I would have standy knife and that's
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: what the dog gets out of.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: And that's what the dog gets more often than not.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: If you'd come home with the outlader might have made it.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: You know, he's up the dinner himself. For it was
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: typically an outlet move which I always saw myself even
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: going if I never got married. That's exactly what I
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: would be. You can come home find the out like
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: eating his full dinner just at in the beans, straight
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: out of the tain, but he would tuck the plate down.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh that was you put it down. Yeah,
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: and and and whatever.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: I mean. We have a we have a schnauzer nowger
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: and can't have processed meat.
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: We have we have a we have a cockapoo that
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: doesn't always eat the food that's put out for him
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: because he's just.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: Like, I don't think so us this bullshit? What is
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: this bullshit?
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: You know? And I'm like, god, damn you dog, God damn.
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: You wouldn't have allowed the eighties to You would have
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: been like that green algae to us. Now you would
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: have just died on contact with the with the nineteen eighties.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: And and you know, I'm not saying all ways are better, Tom,
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: That's never never the purpose of the Tom and Jerry Show,
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: but we can't help but comment on it.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: Look, Jerry, there was a paradise back then too, not
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: a good thing. We're just saying, we're just saying we
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: remember when and as for the people that have absolutely forgotten.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, Christ, I mean, we're not going down
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: the white dog shit fucking road because that joke has
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: been done to death or whatever. But it was a
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: I can remember distinctly when like fins came in maybe
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: fifteen or sixteen years ago, fines came in for your
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: dog shitting, and that was very apparent, and it was like,
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: oh that many people are actually a walking their dogs
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: and like of you know, our local town, it has
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: unbelievable walks, but you can't move for the amount of
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: dogs on it. Like literally you should just call it,
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: you know, and it's it's welcomed, it's great.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: That is mad Tom. I'd love to look back and
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: see at what point did the amount of dog shit
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: on the footpaths become an issue where people were like,
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: we kind of have to do something about this.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: This free, free, free dog bag fucking take away you know,
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: takeaway dog dog bags and and everything like to the
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: point that what was the tipping point? Is that is
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: what you're saying, like what ratio of shite of footpaths?
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: Where we ask what did we reach because honestly, like
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: we were, we were brought up in the time where
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: the notion of carrying around small bags with you to
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: pick fresh dog shit from your dogs are off the ground,
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: not a thing, not any we're next nor near a thing.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: And now, like you know, I can't do a couple
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: of people don't in town, in particular, in a couple
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: of areas in town that I've been known to frequent
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: that it seems to just be a ship wherever you want, buddy. Yeah,
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of an analogy for that, but
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: there isn't actually anything that we could compare it to
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: because it was such a jump in humanity to just
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: go well, now, I mean, at what point is the
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: dog absolutely stop respecting when it looks back and there's you, Well,
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: what it probably thinks is your bare hand picking up
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: its shite, because he's like Jesus, smell and ashy, I'm
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: not taking off.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: I sniff and I don't do that.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: You know, you know what it like, you literally know
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: what I fucking hell.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: This is the same guy gives out to me for
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: sniffing a pole and then he's over there with a bibe.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I remember we bought we I was maybe
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: nine or ten, and I remember our dog at the
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: time and mixed them gather on the motherfucking thing. It
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: was there was, there was, There was a long here,
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: Jack Russell in there somewhere had a bit of a
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: square face. Could have been the touch of something else
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: in there, don't know. Now, wealthy people would have had
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: the old Irish breeds, you know, these things, but they
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: weren't the general dog that you see. I remember she
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: had five or six pups, and I think three of them.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: People were able to take him, I think, but we
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: still had two or three of them left, and we
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: took him while we were selling. People went to carbout
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: cells back then to sell your own stuff, and I
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: remember having the three pups and I think there were
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: a fiver apiece and people were I'll never forget the
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: old man roar laughing. He was helping us so we
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: can make a few pounds. We're selling bits and pieces,
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: and this guy comes up and he's looking at these
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: three fucking terriers that if anybody knew what they were
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: looking at, knew full well these weren't going to crufts
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: like no cute, cute as hell, but they were not
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: pure bread. And this guy adamantly stood there, So where
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: are their papers, And in my head, I'm thinking, does
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: he mean the newspapers to put into somebody's car so
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: they don't.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: So that they don't in case the pats on the
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: back seat and the old man started to roar, the
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: laughing like it like as if any dog would have papers.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: He literally because the only thing animal either that would
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: have papers would be or linear it would be a
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: horse or cows. He's like, what do you think it is?
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: Your mind just fucked off. But they sold. We sold
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: all three of them, I think, for five or six
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: pounds apiece, and it was and they didn't know what
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: they got either. They went to a car boot sale,
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: these people and came home with a pup.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: There you go. That was all That was as much
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: as it was. And they didn't take them home and
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: create train them and feed them special diabetic food or
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: whatever the fuck it was.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: Did I do a follow up to see where it was? No,
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: I didn't because I was delighted. They were delighted, And
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: that's the way. That was the way I think.
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: Did they buy them a little jacket and booties for
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: when it rains?
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: They bought him a flea color and a balent. Wanted
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: to cry around the flea color when they needed to walking,
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: if they.
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: Needed Everybody was happy, and everybody was happy, and that
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: is what we remember about dogs. Are we wrong? Did
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: youse all molly cuddle your dogs? Are we just two
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: harsh past ors they left our dogs outside?
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: I don't think so.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: I don't think so. If anybody's going to tell us,
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: they can tell us in the comments. Let us know
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: about your dogs from your youth and when you've felt
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: the balance tip into all right, these are these are
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: these are bigger cats.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know what to do it over Jerry
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: Jerry commands the social season. Yeah.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: Sorry, yeah, so you're kind of started that and didn't stop.
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: But if you want to leave comments anywhere at all,
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: you can leave it on our social media channels. That's
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: at Tom and Jerry Show on Where Tom and Jerry
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: Show on Twitter and indeed Instagram, and you can find
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: me at Jerry McBride, Jerry with a G on Blue Sky,
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: Tom Prefers Instagram, at Tom Underscore.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: Go ahead and hit subscribe whatever you're on right now,
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: whatever it is, mostly are on the old Spotify. Spotify
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: is the handiest for all of us because we can
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: actually see your comments which you can leave under it now. Also,
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: if you wouldn't mind given the five stars and put
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: the bell on highlight the bell so it lands into
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: your phone or whatever device you're listening to, I'd be amazed.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: If you're listening to anything else, it lands in your
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: phone on Thursday mornings five am. If you subscribe on
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: the Spotify thing, everybody else gets at about an hour later.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: Other than that'd be great if you shared it, go ahead,
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: share it with Nana, tell them about it. Maybe ask
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: around the house, did they have you ever been to
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: a wild sport in Florence? Did you remember? And dogs
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: just shitting wherever they wanted to shit, And if they
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: stood out of line, they knew what was coming next.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: They were being taken out the back of the woodshed.
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: Do you know you gotta stop killing dogs in this podcast?
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: What was it? Wasn't there a movie called They Killed Yell?
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: Or yeah, you know there was a movie called they
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: Kill Dogs, Don't They? Or they shoot Dogs? Don't They?
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: I know when Old Yeller it was like the dog
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: got rabies and the kid took them out the back
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: and shot them. Like yeah, the fifties in America, they
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: only reached Ireland in the eighties.
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: You're not going back into bits, Tom, but I remember
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: what their dogs leapt on that I remember he's lept
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: on a cushion from an old sofa that was tuck
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: out and left in the garage.
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: There you go it. Yeah, it was a Disney cartoon
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: called They Shoot Dogs, don't they?
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: And did they shoot dogs in it?
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure.
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: Your cartoons a tough back in the sixties, if not
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: the one they want to work on that they want
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: to work on that title. Man, I'll tell you that much.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: If I go to the Jurassic Park and there's no dinosaurs,
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: I'm vexed. Regardless of which, do all that fur the
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: Tom and Jerry Show. Do that for your pals, Tom
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: and Jerry let us know all these wonderful things in
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: the comments and as Tom says, share it. I don't
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: care if you hollered this out the window of a
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: moving cars to the Tomm Jury Show.
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: I'd love that. People just did it old school, just
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: shouting it.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're down the pubs and the lads are talking
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: about Yeah. I listened to some podcasts and it's it's born.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: I don't like you, but like I have one for you.
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: A couple of lads. All the talk about the shooting dogs,
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: big mostly Italian lads. You're gonna fucking love it. I'm
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: not doing any justice as.
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: On, but I'm and the end of the world as
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: a result of fucking scientists.
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and and they don't care. They don't care for sciences.
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: And they've got backwards thoughts on pets and an inside
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: scoop on bird and Natty's landed in Germany and what
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: the fuck this podcast is?
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: And if that's your kind of bag, you know, welcome
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: on board.
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: Here you go. There only one show up in turn soon,
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: Tom and Jerry show. Tom, I gotta go. I'm delirious
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: from the heat, Buddy.
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: I've got to go get my foil and the hide masks.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: I don't know how that's going to stand events, but
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: we'll give it a go.
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: Take careybody, you live