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What does a narcissist view as cheating? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to talk about what does a narcissist consider
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  cheating? What do they consider cheating
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  on their end and what do they consider cheating on your end?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a self aware narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code Beam.
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  Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back folks.
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  So yes, what does a narcissist consider cheating?
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  This is probably broken up into two parts, but I'm not one of
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  those channels that breaks it up into two parts and has you
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  coming back later on this video. I might do a series, but this is
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  not a series. This is not series worthy.
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  So what does a narcissist consider cheating on your end?
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  And then I'll talk about whether they consider cheating from
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  their perspective on on their end and what not.
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  So when it comes to you, you a narcissist can consider cheating
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  something as simple as you talking to somebody else.
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  Literally, you talking to somebody else of the opposite
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  sex or the the the sex or gender that you're attracted, they feel
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  like you're attracted to is cheating.
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  Even even if you not physically attracted to that sex or gender,
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  they will still consider that cheating.
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  Because you spoke this money, because you laughed at somebody
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  else's joke, because you made eye contact with somebody else,
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  they can consider that cheating. And I know that sounds
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  ridiculous lately. That sounds so ridiculous.
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  That's so stupidly. Yes, I understand that.
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  That's why I'm making this video to let you know how I understand
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  that it sounds ridiculous. But to in the mind of a
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  narcissist, it makes absolute sense that I consider this
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  cheating, that this is definitely cheating to me.
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  You know, that makes complete sense to that narcissist or to
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  that toxic person that you're dealing with because in their
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  minds, this is cheating because you you're, you're communicating
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  with somebody else. You just are, you know what I
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  mean? They consider that cheating to
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  the umpteenth. Like you might as well go ahead
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  and slept with somebody else. The way that they can treat you
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  for having a conversation with somebody else or I make an eye
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  contact with somebody else and things of that nature that that
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  they can consider that cheating right there.
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  You know, and it seems so super simplistically out, but I'm just
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  telling you, they consider that cheating.
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  It's the second thing that they will consider cheating on your
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  end, on your end of things is being with somebody did they
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  previously know or being free. Like being with someone that
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  they know before they met you, before y'all got together.
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  They will treat you like you cheated on them by because you
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  had a relationship. You dated somebody you cut
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  cheeks with somebody that they know, one of their old friends
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  or so an old acquaintance, somebody that they know, the
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  dude from high school, the girl from the grocery store that they
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  know somebody that they've interacted with.
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  You had a previous relationship with this person.
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  They will look at you like you cheated on them.
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  They will is Yeah, I'm telling you, they will treat you like
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  you didn't cheated on them, like you didn't got had a baby by
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  somebody else own them. They like they will treat you
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  like a damn pariah for simply entertaining or having a
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  conversation with somebody else. I mean like for having somebody
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  else for sleep with somebody else in the past before you got
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  with them before, like you didn't have to sleep with them.
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  If you dated them, they'll be super paranoid you didn't sleep
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  with them. You can just say, no, we didn't
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  sleep there. We just went on one date.
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  We realized that nothing, we didn't click and that was it.
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  We only talked to that person since.
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  But you went on a date with them though, you dated them.
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  They will treat you like you cheated on them.
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  And again, y'all, I know it sounds asinine, but that's what
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  it is. That's that's the mindset,
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  that's the the mental dynamic of a toxic narcissistic person.
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  They considered this cheating because this happened.
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  You did this, you said this, you know things went down this way.
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  That's the mindset of a lot of toxic narcissistic people.
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  Another thing that they will be considered cheating is if you're
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  friends with an ex, if you are friends with an ex, you have a
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  close, if you're close friends or just acquaintances with
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  somebody that you've dated before or previously, like
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  slept, slept before or something like that.
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  They look at you like you're a cheater.
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  And yes, none of these, yeah, I'm going to say this.
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  None of these things I'm talking about right now specifically
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  make you a narcissist. I know some of y'all will be
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  like, well, Lee, I I get jealous of stuff like that too.
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  Am I a narcissist? No, Yeah, nothing specifically
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  makes you a narcissist. You make you make you
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  narcissistic. You make you insecure, you make
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  you jealous, you know what I'm saying?
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  Make you paranoid. But then none of this stuff
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  makes you a narcissist. The accumulation of behaviors
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  that make you narcissist or narcissistic you simply is an
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  accumulation. It's not just one specific
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  thing, you know? So it's an accumulation of toxic
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  behaviors or toxic traits and things like that.
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  So back to the video. Like if you were friends with an
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  ex, they would consider that asleep, they would consider that
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  cheating, but you still are you cheating on me, aren't you?
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  Why are you still talking to them even if you talk to this
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  person once a month, once every year?
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  Y'all friends on Facebook, y'all, You know you might like
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  each other stuff on Instagram, but you haven't communicated in
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  decades. They don't care.
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  That's cheating. We still consider that cheating
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  because you're still in communication with that person.
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  Again, this doesn't specifically make you a narcissist.
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  It's an accumulation of things. It's the behaviors, it's the
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  traits. They will still even look at you
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  like you're a damn cheater. You talk to this person.
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  I can't believe you did this to me.
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  I can't believe you're cheating on me.
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  Like what? Like they like my Facebooks that
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  I've talked to this person in in 10 years.
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  I don't care. I don't care.
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  You're still cheating. You're still a cheater.
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  You still did this, you still do that.
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  They don't care. It doesn't matter to them that
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  the mind in their minds, you're you're a liar.
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  You're a cheater. You're a manipulator, you know,
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  a deceiver, heartbreaker, and I won't let you back in my life
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  that I'm taking. But yeah, the next thing that
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  they consider cheating, y'all, and again, this is going to
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  sound stupid, but if you break up with them and you're with
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  somebody else, that's you cheating.
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  If you break again, if y'all break up and you date somebody
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  else, you sleep with somebody else, you entertain somebody
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  else, you get on a dating nap or something like that, that's
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  cheating. Even with anything that you do,
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  you're not together. Even if you don't have the
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  intent on getting back together, this is not a break.
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  This is a break up. Like, yeah, they left you.
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  Let's say they left you for someone else, right?
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  They break up with you for someone else, they leave you for
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  someone else and somehow they look at you as a cheater because
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  you did something when y'all were not together.
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  They left you for someone else. Y'all somehow get back together
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  and now they look at you and treat you like you're a cheater
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  because you were with somebody else.
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  You entertained somebody else. You got on a dating app, you
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  went on a date. They look at you as a
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  full-fledged cheater because you entertained somebody while y'all
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  were broken up. And they're the, they are the
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  ones that initiated the breakup, the separation, the divorce.
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  But the fact that y'all reconciled in this, the fact
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  that y'all reconciled, that's what happens right there.
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  They look at you in this way, they look at you as a liar, a
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  manipulator, a cheater, a stealer, a thief, or whatever it
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  is in these in these situations. This happens to so many people.
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  And I'm just telling y'all this because this is how you want it.
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  Like when you want to go about doing things and fixing things
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  and healing yourself and building a new life for
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  yourself, these are the things that you have to start to
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  understand. And like they're going to hold
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  this against you regardless of whether or not you actually
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  cheated because some people do actually cheat, like sleeping
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  with somebody else or actually entertaining somebody else.
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  That's actually that you actually like your definition of
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  cheating. You did right.
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  You slept with somebody else just like that.
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  They won't ever forgive you. They won't ever get over this.
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  They will always keep this in their back pocket or keep this
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  in their book bag to be used against you later on.
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  This is this is the part of y'all, this is the piece of
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  pieces of it you're going to be you're going to be held
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  accountable with something that you did that you did while y'all
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  were not together like you cheated on me and they could
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  y'all, let's say y'all get back together and they say, hey,
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  look, I slept with 20 people while we were separated and you
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  and then you'll be like, well, I went on one date, you cheater,
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  you cheated on me. I'm about to go into the second
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  part of this right here about what they consider cheating for
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  themselves. But you see how unequaled and
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  unequaled that is. They slept with 25 people.
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  You went on one date and kissed somebody.
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  You're a cheater and they will treat you as such.
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  I can't believe you betrayed me. You left me for somebody else.
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  You betrayed me. You're supposed to wait for me.
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  You're stronger than I am. You're better than me.
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  They will hold you accountable for things that you did when
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  y'all were not together. So that's something you have to
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  prepare for because they absolutely will.
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  They will treat you like a cheater.
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  They will treat you like an abuser.
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  They will treat you like you did them wrong in the worst way.
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  And sometimes they'll tell their friends and family members that
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  you cheated on them and they will use this.
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  They will use your behaviors that they consider cheating
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  against you. They would justify their
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  behaviors because of what they told you that you did.
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  They will actually go out here and cheat on you because they
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  think you cheated on them. You know what I'm saying?
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  They will actually cheat on you because they thank you.
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  They consider this cheating on them.
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  You're right, if y'all think like if I miss some, drop it in
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  the comment section with your narcissistic partner, consider
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  cheating. I know dating.
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  I know I probably missed. I mean I talked about dating
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  apps. You download a dating app when
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  y'all, when y'all are not together, you go on more dates
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  like you're you don't like they consider it cheating.
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  If y'all are not exclusive like y'all, this is y'all's first
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  date and you have another first date playing with somebody else
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  next week. That's cheating.
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  They expect you to be exclusive to them the first time after the
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  first date. We were an exclusive couple,
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  right? They expect you to be.
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  They expect exclusivity after the very first date.
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  And y'all, this is the first time y'all meeting y'all, y'all
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  sit down and have a coffee date, right?
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  And you have a date playing with somebody else next week and they
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  find out about it. You're a cheater.
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  I can't believe you cheated on me like we just had coffee once.
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  You're a cheater. You're a damn cheater.
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  Don't try to don't try to, don't try to deflect.
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  You're a damn cheater. I can't ever trust you.
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  But they won't leave you alone. It's crazy.
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  They'll consider this cheating, but they won't leave you alone.
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  And they use this as an excuse. But for the next thing I'll
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  tell, I'll hop into y'all What narcissists consider them
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  cheating? What a what a narcissist will
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  consider cheating on their end? Nothing.
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  I know y'all. Look, I was waiting for y'all.
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  I knew y'all gonna say y'all. They even if they do consider
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  what they've done cheating, they can actually sleep.
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  Sleep with someone else, but because they will blame it on
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  you, it's not actually cheating. It's for you forced me to do
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  this. It's not cheating if you if I
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  was forced to do this. I know we slept together 6th
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  like twice a day, six times a day.
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  And see, I know last week out of out of seven days, we slept
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  together twice a day, but on day seven, when we slept together
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  one time, you did not meet a second time because you were
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  saying you were tired. What do you expect me to do?
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  I have needs, so I call. I met, I went to the bar and met
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  somebody that slept with them. So it's your fault.
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  You're not cheating. You're forced.
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  You forced me to do this. They rarely would ever admit
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  that they're cheating is actually actually cheating.
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  All the stuff that they consider cheating for you, they will make
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  an excuse for why it's OK with them.
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  Why do you have female friends? Why do you have male friends?
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  Oh, because I know how to control myself.
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  It's different for me. Why did why did you get to sleep
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  with somebody while we were not together?
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  But it's cheating when I do because I didn't connect to them
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  emotionally. It was just sex.
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  It was, we just slept together. You, you can't, you can't
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  control your, you can't, you can't sleep with somebody.
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  We're all connected to them, connected to them emotionally.
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  So it's different for me. You said that they will always
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  have an excuse. Well, why are you still, for
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  instance, your ex? Because we grew up together.
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  It was deeper than that. Everything that they consider
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  you cheating, they will have an excuse as to why it's not
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  cheating for them. Double standards exist in these
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  toxic relationship spaces. You can't.
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  You don't get to do what they get to do, y'all.
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  I know that's sad. I know that sucks, I know that
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  sounds stupid. But you don't get to do what I
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  get to do that we're not. We're in the mind of a
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  narcissist. We are not equals, we just are
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  not. You don't get to get away with
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  what I get to get away with. So very rarely would they.
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  If they, even if they do say it's cheating, they will always
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  have an excuse as to why and they will try, they will try to
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  guilt trip you. Even if they sleep with somebody
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  else, they will try to guilt trip you into taking
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  accountability for why they slept with somebody else, why
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  they ended up with somebody else.
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  They will try to put it on to you.
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  So this is just something for you to consider y'all something
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  for you to think about as you deal with this toxic
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  narcissistic person as you try to navigate whether like I say,
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  if they consider you that you cheated on them, they will never
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  forgive you. They will never get over it and
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  they will never be able to move forward.
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  They will just always break it up time and time again and
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  again. If they consider that you
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  cheated on them is it gives them the excuse to go sleep with
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  somebody else on you anyway. Anyway, I think something I've
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  And it's always all us. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.