Latest / Glovisor Podcast / She Had Harvard Success—But Still Felt Empty. What Changed Her Life? | Bracha Goetz [Ep 73]

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She Had Harvard Success—But Still Felt Empty. What Changed Her Life? | Bracha Goetz [Ep 73] · Glovisor Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Maybe joy isn't something that you find, but something that
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: you learn to create. Welcome to the GoVisor podcast, where
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  Speaker 1: we explore business growth, communication, and personal development through real
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  Speaker 1: conversations with people who make an impact. Our guest is
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  Speaker 1: a Harvard-educated, positive mindset expert and prolific author with an
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  Speaker 1: extraordinary body of work, 47 children's books, and candid memoir
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  Speaker 1: for adults. Her work focuses on helping people discover greater joy, meaning,
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  Speaker 1: and possibility in everyday life, drawing from her own deeply
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  Speaker 1: personal journey and transformation. Glowvisor welcomes Branka Goetz.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. I'd like to
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  Speaker 2: mention that I'm a Harvard grad because it helps for
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  Speaker 2: people to take seriously my picture books. They're for really
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  Speaker 2: young children. but they're explaining very deep concepts about life
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  Speaker 2: because I believe that the earlier we can teach people
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  Speaker 2: happiness skills, then they have them for the rest of
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  Speaker 2: their lives. And because of neuroplasticity, at any point that
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  Speaker 2: we gain these happiness skills, we can use them to
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  Speaker 2: have a more joyful life.
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  Speaker 1: So that's great. Number one is I was totally impressed
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  Speaker 1: when I first met you thinking of how does she
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  Speaker 1: have time to write 47 different books? That's wild to me.
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  Speaker 1: And then number two is I want to know what
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  Speaker 1: was that defining moment that pushed you into this positivity
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  Speaker 1: and how to change the world?
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  Speaker 2: I suffered from food addictions. I would say from my
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  Speaker 2: teenage years through my early 20s. And what I realized
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  Speaker 2: is that it was symptomatic of what I was actually experiencing.
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  Speaker 2: When a person suffers from addictions, it's usually because they
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  Speaker 2: are trying desperately to fill the emptiness inside. They are
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  Speaker 2: trying to fill it with externalities but it never works.
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  Speaker 2: It gives you a very temporary pleasure like food does
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  Speaker 2: or other addictions gives you a temporary high of some
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  Speaker 2: type and it gives you comfort, but it doesn't last.
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  Speaker 2: And that's the thing. When you feel a scarcity of
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  Speaker 2: pleasure in your life and you don't know how to,
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  Speaker 2: and you don't understand that there's really an abundance of
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  Speaker 2: pleasure available. then you desperately are trying to fill that
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  Speaker 2: hole with pleasure. And it doesn't work. The hole gets
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  Speaker 2: deeper and deeper. Like the hole gets more empty than
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  Speaker 2: the bag of potato chips that you finish. Once you've
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  Speaker 2: finished it, you feel even emptier because it doesn't help
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  Speaker 2: because it's not a physical hole. It's a spiritual hole.
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  Speaker 2: And what I finally learned is that all that fills
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  Speaker 2: it is gratitude. When you really recognize, when you experience
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  Speaker 2: genuine gratitude in life, then suddenly there's no longer a
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  Speaker 2: scarcity of pleasure. That's when you begin to recognize that
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  Speaker 2: there's an abundance of blessings in your life. This very moment,
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  Speaker 2: each person has them. It's just a question of training
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  Speaker 2: your brain to actually see it.
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  Speaker 1: You experienced that growing up. some of these challenges. And
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  Speaker 1: by the way, the whole potato chip example is fantastic
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  Speaker 1: as it applies to me nearly every day. So what
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  Speaker 1: was that moment where you said, okay, this is where
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  Speaker 1: I am right now and I need to make a change?
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  Speaker 2: It sounds hard to believe, but here I was looking
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  Speaker 2: very successful on the outside. I graduated from Harvard. I
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  Speaker 2: was in medical school. And I was Phi Beta Kappa,
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  Speaker 2: nominated Phi Beta Kappa, doing really well. And yet inside
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  Speaker 2: I was suffering more and more. I was becoming more
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  Speaker 2: and more miserable. And with all that outside success, I
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  Speaker 2: didn't even understand what was the point of life. What's
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  Speaker 2: life all about? That's what I was desperately searching to understand.
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  Speaker 2: What are we here for? What am I here to do?
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  Speaker 2: Are we just here to wake up every day to
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  Speaker 2: eat breakfast, to go to work, to make money, to
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  Speaker 2: buy more food, to eat, to live, for the next
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  Speaker 2: day to go to work. What's it all about? What
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  Speaker 2: are we here for? This is what I was wondering
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  Speaker 2: about and really desperately searching for it in so many ways.
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  Speaker 2: I tried many different things to try to figure out
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  Speaker 2: what life was about. Finally, I got to I really
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  Speaker 2: studied very ancient wisdom and began practicing mindful gratitude from
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  Speaker 2: morning until night. Throughout my day now, there are gratitude practices,
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  Speaker 2: and that's what I do. It's completely changed my life
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  Speaker 2: from not even wanting to continue to live, and when
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  Speaker 2: the world seemed gray and I had basically no morals left,
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  Speaker 2: nothing mattered, to a life where The colors came back.
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  Speaker 2: Everything has a vibrancy again. And then I could begin
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  Speaker 2: to share it with other people and help other people
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  Speaker 2: to gain what I gained. So really, I find that
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  Speaker 2: there's a huge lack of joy in the world. And
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  Speaker 2: what I'm offering is so simple. And I tell people,
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  Speaker 2: if you don't believe it's this simple, just test it.
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  Speaker 2: Test it out. add a little more gratitude to your
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  Speaker 2: life and see what just a few more moments of
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  Speaker 2: gratitude brings you.
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  Speaker 1: Would you be able to share one small example of
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  Speaker 1: an exercise of how we can bring gratitude into our lives?
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  Speaker 2: Sure. One of my favorites is the orange. I don't know.
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  Speaker 2: I just, but I don't have an orange here today.
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  Speaker 2: So I have this fake one. It's a fake orange,
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  Speaker 2: but I don't know if you could tell. But anyway,
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  Speaker 2: this orange, it's, Almost every fruit is green. It's protected
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  Speaker 2: by the leaves. It's camouflaged in the leaves so that
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  Speaker 2: it can grow until it's ready for you. When it
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  Speaker 2: becomes the most vivid color, it's a pleasure to look at.
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  Speaker 2: It's a pleasure to smell. And then we take off
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  Speaker 2: the individual wrapping. Each one is individually packaged. And the
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  Speaker 2: sweet juiciness is kept in for months. So the orange
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  Speaker 2: that you're holding in your hand was designed for you
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  Speaker 2: to give you so much wisdom and so much love
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  Speaker 2: is packed into this one little orange. When you finish
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  Speaker 2: eating it, you find the seeds. These seeds are like
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  Speaker 2: eternal seeds. They're designed to go back into the earth
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  Speaker 2: to become fruit. Infinite more orange trees and then more oranges.
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  Speaker 2: It's an unbelievable thing. The genius in this one orange,
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  Speaker 2: the intelligence packed inside of it, the intelligence in a
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  Speaker 2: seed and all the love, all the loving kindness is
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  Speaker 2: designed for you. If you hold this orange, it was
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  Speaker 2: made for you to experience. So this is just one
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  Speaker 2: tiny gift if you have an orange in your life.
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  Speaker 2: And we have so many gifts, you know. I learned
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  Speaker 2: about something called the pleasure ladder. And this is not my,
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  Speaker 2: I didn't create this. This is from ancient mystical wisdom.
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  Speaker 2: The pleasure ladder has five rungs on it. And you
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  Speaker 2: can think about it like our five fingers. Because we
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  Speaker 2: have within our hands the power to bring joy into
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  Speaker 2: our lives at any moment. It's totally empowering. The lowest
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  Speaker 2: level on the pleasure ladder are all these natural physical
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  Speaker 2: pleasures in the world that were designed to bring us joy.
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  Speaker 2: And when we experience them with gratitude, that's how we
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  Speaker 2: climb up to the first level of pleasure. It could
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  Speaker 2: be exercising when we move our bodies that were designed
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  Speaker 2: to move, to dance, to do yoga, to... garden, to swim,
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  Speaker 2: to run, we see these chemicals begin to flow in
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  Speaker 2: our body and bring us joy. Same thing when we
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  Speaker 2: eat these natural foods, when we spend time in nature,
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  Speaker 2: when we listen to music. These are natural ways that
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  Speaker 2: we come to a level of joy. And when we
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  Speaker 2: feel gratitude for them, then we it brings us lasting
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  Speaker 2: pleasure and added connection. When we're in addiction, we feel disconnected, estranged,
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  Speaker 2: we're completely self-centered, and we're just like, we keep stuffing
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  Speaker 2: our faces because it's bringing us temporary pleasure. But what
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  Speaker 2: we're really looking for is lasting pleasure. We stuff our
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: faces from a sense of scarcity. And when We recognize
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  Speaker 2: that there's an abundance of ways to bring pleasure into
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  Speaker 2: our lives at any moment, that completely changes the picture.
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  Speaker 2: Then we are freed from that. It's almost an enslavement
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  Speaker 2: that we have to the addiction. Our brains expand. Actually,
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  Speaker 2: the amygdala, the frightened part of our brain is the
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  Speaker 2: part that gets us into addictions. And when we, that
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  Speaker 2: moment of pause to reach for gratitude, it brings us
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  Speaker 2: to the prefrontal cortex where our brain can begin to
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  Speaker 2: process gratitude. And the more we practice gratitude, we create
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  Speaker 2: more neural pathways and our brain's can practice gratitude much
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  Speaker 2: more easily the next time. We create actual grooves in
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  Speaker 2: the brain. And it's an amazing thing I learned recently.
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  Speaker 2: Our brains actually get heavier. They become more dense the
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  Speaker 2: more we practice gratitude because these neural pathways are developed.
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  Speaker 2: We are training our brains to scan for positive patterns.
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  Speaker 1: Every single step, every single thing that you do, you
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  Speaker 1: take intentional steps to really value what you're doing. And
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  Speaker 1: I can see where the gratitude would come in from that.
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  Speaker 1: But if you don't mind, could we go back? So
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  Speaker 1: here you are, you're in medical school. You are questioning everything,
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  Speaker 1: which is great because this is really what the catalyst, right?
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  Speaker 1: That changed everything for you. But once you started to
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  Speaker 1: read these books and you started to learn about the
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  Speaker 1: ancient wisdom, What happened next? What did you do that
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  Speaker 1: made that switch in your life?
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  Speaker 2: Oh, I gradually integrated it into my life. One of
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  Speaker 2: my books, yeah, the only book I wrote for adults
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  Speaker 2: is called Nourish the Soul, Filling the Emptiness Within. And
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  Speaker 2: it's my diary. I found my old diaries. And When
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  Speaker 2: I saw it, I saw the threat of my life.
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  Speaker 2: Then I finally understood what all the addictions were about.
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  Speaker 2: I was genuinely hungry. And we are genuinely hungry. Without
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  Speaker 2: the nourishment of gratitude, we remain hungry. It's gratitude that
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  Speaker 2: fills us up and brings us fulfillment. So this book
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  Speaker 2: is kind of like a documentary. I.
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  Speaker 2: It's my highlights of my diaries and then my journals.
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  Speaker 2: And I filled in the missing pieces. So you watch
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  Speaker 2: me from age 12 to 32 of developing the addictions
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  Speaker 2: and then healing. And the recovery wasn't immediate, but as
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  Speaker 2: I integrated it into my life, I noticed that the
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  Speaker 2: binges were happening less and less frequently. And why? That's
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  Speaker 2: when I wrote the book. What did one thing have
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  Speaker 2: to do with the other? And then I saw the pattern.
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  Speaker 2: And once I saw the pattern, that's when I began
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  Speaker 2: to share it with children, with adults, with everybody, because
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  Speaker 2: it really is simple. And that's our purpose here in
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  Speaker 2: life is to enjoy this world in gratitude. We were
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  Speaker 2: put in this amazing garden but we've complicated things so
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  Speaker 2: much we've gone far away from it and we can
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  Speaker 2: come back to it and appreciate it again it's all
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  Speaker 2: about recognizing opening our eyes to see all the beauty
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  Speaker 2: to to appreciate it what when we go up the
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  Speaker 2: ladder then we begin appreciating other people and then finding
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  Speaker 2: meaning in life, having gratitude that we can give back
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  Speaker 2: and do good things in the world. And this is
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  Speaker 2: the second highest level is surprising. It's creativity. When we
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  Speaker 2: do something creative, we get on a high that, that
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  Speaker 2: we feel like we don't even notice time passing when
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  Speaker 2: we're in that creative zone. It's such a special high
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  Speaker 2: that we, um, We don't feel like eating or sleeping.
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  Speaker 2: We just, it's almost beyond time. The highest level of
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  Speaker 2: all is called transcendence. And we spend very little time there.
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  Speaker 2: It's rare moments like looking up at a starry, starry
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  Speaker 2: night when you know you're a part of a much
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: greater universe. These are moments like it stayed with me
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  Speaker 2: from childhood. I can still remember doing that. Like It
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  Speaker 2: fills your soul when you go back to these places.
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  Speaker 2: And when we experience transcendence, it's the recognition that we're
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  Speaker 2: all connected. And we're all connected to all the trees,
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  Speaker 2: all the vegetation. They give us oxygen. We give them
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  Speaker 2: carbon dioxide. It's a symbiotic relationship. From the place of
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  Speaker 2: complete self-centeredness, as we connect with lasting pleasure, we move
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  Speaker 2: up the pleasure ladder and there's only one price to
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  Speaker 2: pay to climb this ladder. What is that? Gratitude. That's all.
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  Speaker 2: That's what takes us higher and higher in life because
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  Speaker 2: when we're being creative with gratitude, it takes the ego
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  Speaker 2: out of it. We're not afraid of failing. I'm not
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  Speaker 2: afraid of like, um, messing up on a podcast, for instance,
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  Speaker 2: because I'm just doing it with gratitude. It's like flowing
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  Speaker 2: through me. So I could do this endlessly. It makes
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  Speaker 2: me so happy to share this joy. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: These messages are being shared in those children's books. Did
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  Speaker 1: you find it difficult to try to get the message
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  Speaker 1: across to children at their levels? Because You know, for adults,
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  Speaker 1: it's extremely difficult sometimes to understand this if you're not
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  Speaker 1: ready to receive this. I can imagine that sometimes children
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  Speaker 1: may be a little bit more difficult to explain it.
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  Speaker 1: They may be more open to it because they're young,
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  Speaker 1: but was that difficult for you? Right.
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  Speaker 2: So two things I want to say about that. It's
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  Speaker 2: a great question. When you understand something really deeply, you
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  Speaker 2: can explain it in the simplest way possible. That was Einstein.
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  Speaker 2: That's what Einstein did. E equals MC squared. Really, what
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  Speaker 2: Einstein is saying is this. Everything is energy. Everything comes
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  Speaker 2: from one source of energy. It's all connected. in every mass,
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: in everything on earth, it's all connected to energy. Like
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  Speaker 2: this look, this orange looks like it's standing still, but
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: really the electrons are zooming around. There's energy in everything,
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: a vibrant energy everywhere. So when we understand them, when
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: you understand a concept deeply, you can explain it in
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  Speaker 2: the simplest equation. That's how my mind works. So I don't,
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  Speaker 2: I don't love writing big, long treatises. I love putting
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  Speaker 2: things in the simplest way possible so that even the
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  Speaker 2: youngest child could understand it. And that's what I've done.
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  Speaker 2: One of my newest books is The Happiness Box. This
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  Speaker 2: is a boy. He's never happy with anything he gets.
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  Speaker 2: And when his parents get a washing machine. He's like, yeah, right.
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  Speaker 2: You get everything. I don't get anything. And then his
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  Speaker 2: father gets this great idea. The box that the washing
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  Speaker 2: machine came in, it's a happiness box. You can only
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  Speaker 2: think happy thoughts inside this box. He's like, what? He
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  Speaker 2: goes inside. What am I going to do? I got
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  Speaker 2: to think of something I'm happy about. Okay. He thinks
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  Speaker 2: of something and he thinks of something else. And he goes,
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  Speaker 2: on and on and he gets used to and he
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: starts getting really happy. He goes back in that box
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  Speaker 2: whenever he's miserable. But one day he's far away from
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  Speaker 2: his box. What is he going to do? Where is
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  Speaker 2: my box? Can you guess where? Above my eyes, but
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  Speaker 2: below my hair. There's a happiness box in your head,
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  Speaker 2: you see. It's a happiness box if you let it be.
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  Speaker 2: But if it's hard to use your head, just get
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  Speaker 2: a cardboard box instead. So that's what children are doing.
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  Speaker 2: They're getting cardboard boxes outside of appliance stores. In the
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: back of the book, it explains how to make your
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: happiness box. You go inside, you practice it, and you
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: get used to it. So happiness boxes are all over
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: the place online. Appliance boxes are disappearing. They don't know
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: where they're going. Everyone is making happiness boxes. And it's
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: really successful. It has helped so many children and it's
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  Speaker 2: continuing to. So these are simple ways that we can
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: explain this to children.
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  Speaker 1: This sounds like so much fun. Now, what are you
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: working on currently?
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  Speaker 2: I just came out with another safety book. I have written...
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  Speaker 2: Very popular safety books for children. Because also my background
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: is in public health, as I explained, and I love that.
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  Speaker 2: And that's part of being happy. If you can keep
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: your body healthy and happy, that's a huge part of it.
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  Speaker 2: It's back to level one. appreciating our bodies and connecting
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  Speaker 2: with the joy of that. So many of my books
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: are about that. And I just came out with a
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  Speaker 2: new book, Protecting Children from Abuse. The books that I
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: have already are picture books. And now this is a
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: board book. because parents were asking for these books for
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: even younger children. So the board book is from ages
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  Speaker 2: two to five, and the picture books are like five
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: to eight, so that we are saving many lives through
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: these books. I'm very grateful about that. And another new
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: book is The Mother Who Always Said Yes. This is
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: also really popular. It's selling out of every store it
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: goes into, because families, It's helping to enjoyably eliminate the
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: entitlement epidemic. It's explaining children get to see what would
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: it be like if their fantasy came true and their
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: mother always said yes to everything they wanted. It gets
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: played out and you get to see how crazy your
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: life would be. You could have every pet, every toy
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  Speaker 2: you want. You can eat junk all day. You could
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: stay out all night. You could all fight with each
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: other and everyone gets hurt. You actually get to see
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: this happen. And then the last page goes back to
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: a normal life. Oh, I think I want that one.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: I think I understand why limits are good. Children get
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: the message. The message is never told. The pictures just
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: get crazier and crazier. And by the end of the book,
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: children understand the purpose of boundaries in life and that
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: they're helpful to them. So this is what I enjoy
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: doing in a really positive way because that is the
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: easiest way to change your habits. Research has found that
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: it takes 400 repetitions to form a new habit, to
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: create new synapses in the brain. That's really difficult. If
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: done joyfully, if done playfully, 10 to 20 repetitions and
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  Speaker 2: you've got the new habit down. So that's the way
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: to go. Teach children joyfully. Teach parents joyfully. That's the
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: secret to picture books. Children are reading the books, but
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: parents or teachers are reading the books to the children.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: So they're getting the messages as well. And grandparents are
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: reading it. Picture books are the only book that reach
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: every single age because even teenagers, they pick up these
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: books when no one's looking and they get the message too.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: So it's a way to change the world.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is. It transcends all ages. That's great. Now, Bracka,
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: what is the single most important takeaway you want listeners
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: to remember from today's conversation?
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: I want to say any moment. that you spend being
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: grateful is a moment you're not spending being miserable. So
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: don't feel bad about not feeling grateful. Just say, this
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: moment I'm grateful. I'm grateful for that. Because there's also
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: a voice inside your head all day trying to get
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: you to be miserable. It's trying to get you to
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: focus on what you're missing, what you're lacking. One of
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: my books, it's called Don't Read This Book. I don't
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: have it right here. Young children, they have that voice
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: in their heads. We all have it. We think we're
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: the only ones. But that voice is trying to get
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: you to focus on what you don't have. The minute
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: you realize that, you take back your power and you say, oh, no,
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to focus on what I'm missing. I'm
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: going to focus on what I already have. And then
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I can climb the pleasure ladder, experience gratitude, and have
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: a more joyful life.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: Where can people connect with you and find out more
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: about your work?
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: My website is called Growing Impact Publications. It's run by
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: my children. My children, beginning with my 40th book, I
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: no longer sent my book out to the traditional publishers.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: And my children started publishing my books. They said, we'll
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: be your publishers now. Don't give your manuscripts anymore to
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: other publishers. So it's our family business now. And they
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: do the business, and I just have a blast teaching
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: about gratitude and giving presentations and going around experiencing children
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: reading my books, adults reading the books. We just had
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: a book tour through several states. We had an amazing time. Yeah,
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: so visit the website, and that's where you'll find my
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: books and see presentations. And I could also give you
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: in the show notes, if you want, a link to
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: download The Pleasure Ladder with information about each step because
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: it's not on the website. People were downloading like constant copies,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: so I only give it out now as a private link.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: We'll put it right into the description.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: Great, thank you.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, Braca, thank you for joining us. And we really
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: appreciate your time and the value you shared today.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: You're welcome.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Thanks, everyone, for listening. If this episode inspired you, make
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: sure you share it with someone who needs it. And
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: don't forget to follow the Global Advisor podcast for more
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: conversations that make an impact. Till the next time.