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Why Narcissists Target STRONGER People (The High-Value Choice) · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  You probably feel dumb for getting tricked, don't you?
• 0:03
  You think you were an easy target, but from the inside out.
• 0:07
  I am telling you, as a diagnosed narcissist, I don't want a
• 0:11
  broken person. I don't want a weak person.
• 0:14
  I don't want a broken toy, so to speak.
• 0:17
  I wanted a trophy. If I chose you as a narcissist,
• 0:22
  it's because you had a level of light, a level of empathy and
• 0:25
  strength that I knew I couldn't create on my own.
• 0:29
  I channeled your resilience. I saw someone who could give me
• 0:33
  100 percent, 110%. Even when I gave zero, I saw I
• 0:38
  saw someone who would give me more than I could give them.
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  That's what happened. That's what goes on in the in
• 0:43
  the mind of a narcissist. This is why they chose you.
• 0:47
  This is why you got picked. And that's what we're talking
• 0:51
  about today, y'all. I know the intro was fire.
• 0:54
  I know I'll be coming in hot and ready like a Little Caesar's
• 0:57
  pizza doughnut. I'll be coming in scalding hot
• 0:59
  and ready, right? But that's how it is though,
• 1:02
  y'all. You're new here, Lee Hammock.
• 1:03
  Diagnosed narcissist. We're talking today about the
• 1:07
  narcissist pick you. I, I chose you, the high value
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  target, y'all. And you know we don't waste some
• 1:14
  time. We hop right into it.
• 1:15
  No fluff. No, this is a no fluff Lee
• 1:18
  Hammock mental illness, The narcissist Code podcast.
• 1:22
  Right. As a narcissist, we don't want
• 1:28
  an easy target. Manipulating someone who was
• 1:33
  already broken doesn't give me or any other narcissist a rush.
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  It doesn't give anybody a thrill.
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  Manipulating somebody who's already just vulnerable, who's
• 1:43
  been beaten down badly, emotionally, physical, whatever
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  that doesn't. Yeah, that's you see what
• 1:48
  sometimes lion lions don't hunt injured prey.
• 1:51
  They'll run right by the gazelle with a hurt leg, right?
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  They'll chase the they'll chase the gazelle that's running full
• 1:57
  speed away. But they won't eat the one
• 1:59
  that's already laying there like my leg is broken and it lying by
• 2:01
  life. All right, I'm gonna get you
• 2:03
  when you heal up. You see what I'm saying?
• 2:05
  That's not fun. That's not a rush.
• 2:07
  And a lot of narcissists chase you.
• 2:08
  They pick you because you give them a thrill.
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  You give them a rush, You a high value target.
• 2:17
  But if I can get a like so as a narcissist, if I can get a super
• 2:21
  mom, a successful business owner or the person everybody else
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  admires to, to choose me, to pick me, to come with me, to bow
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  down to me, that's high octane fuel for the narcissist ego.
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  That's great. Y'all hear the grade A supply,
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  don't you? That's grade A narcissistic
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  supply. That's the validation that so
• 2:47
  many narcissists are seeking right there.
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  That's it right there. Live and in person, live and in
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  the flesh. I want to be picked just I want
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  you to pick me just like that because everybody else wants
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  you, right? I chose you.
• 3:02
  That narcissistic person chose you because your status and your
• 3:07
  strength and or your strength became a trophy of theirs.
• 3:10
  It became a, it became a, a, a first place medal, right, became
• 3:14
  a medal. Go for look, I got my, I got my
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  first place trophy. I got my first place medal and
• 3:19
  whatnot. That's why they picked you,
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  Y'all I said you don't have to be rich and famous for the
• 3:23
  narcissist to pick you. You just have to be.
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  You can just be a good person, an amazing person, a high
• 3:27
  quality, highly empathetic person.
• 3:30
  You don't have to be a star, right?
• 3:32
  Do some narcissists pick stars? Yeah, Hell yeah, they do.
• 3:36
  But they also pick normal, everyday human beings that are
• 3:39
  full of empathy, have a high capacity of empathy, or fun or
• 3:42
  outgoing people or bubbly people have a bubbly personality light
• 3:46
  shining through them. They can feel it like this is.
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  And some narcissists just see you as a challenge.
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  They want to see if they could get you right.
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  You are high quality, high value target.
• 4:00
  Some narcissistic people just want to see if they can get you,
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  if you can pay, if you would pick or choose them right?
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  That's how they go about it right there.
• 4:10
  That's literally the mentality. I want to own what you built.
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  I want to be able to take credit for what you have.
• 4:18
  Hey, Lee, she's amazing. I know, right?
• 4:23
  Gotcha. That's the mentality right
• 4:26
  there. Y'all y'all?
• 4:31
  I'm not laughing at y'all. Probably.
• 4:32
  I was just laughing at that little image that I did lately.
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  Gotcha. You know what I'm saying?
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  That's stupid. I make myself laugh, y'all.
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  I, I don't know what I'm going to say.
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  I have like little points written now, but I don't know
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  what I'm going to say with it. I don't know.
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  I don't know where it's going, what's up.
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  I just, I guess what happened. That narcissist very rarely
• 4:51
  stumbles upon you. I just didn't stumble upon you,
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  right? I I watch you, I analyze you.
• 4:57
  I auditioned you in like in the beginning, I might have shared a
• 5:01
  sob story, like or showed you a wound or trauma dumped on you,
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  showed you some tell told you about some childhood trauma to
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  see if you would try to fix me to see if you're to activate
• 5:15
  that empathy center in you right?
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  That's what a lot of narcissists will do.
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  They'll try to activate that empathy center within you to get
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  what they want from you. You see this to test you out,
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  I'll tell you a sad, sad sob story for my childhood to see if
• 5:30
  you cried, to see if you try to console me, to see if you try
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  to. You might you like you might
• 5:36
  match me, you might share one back to me, right?
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  And sometimes y'all, you might not believe this or not, but
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  sometimes those sob stories that that narcissistic person is
• 5:44
  sharing with you did he lies, They'll be lying about sob
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  stories they'll create, They'll, they'll tell you somebody else's
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  sob story or they'll just mirror yours.
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  Like you might have shared one with me and I'm just mirroring
• 6:00
  the one you share with me right back to you.
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  You know what I'm saying? This is what happens, right?
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  So you try to, I, I tested you to see if you were trying to fix
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  me. And you like, guess what
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  happened when you jumped in with all your empathy and solutions
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  and your compassion? You pass the test with flying
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  colors. I knew I had the right one then
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  I knew I had the one who was going to feel my ego.
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  Who's going to make me feel good about picking you or choosing
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  you. That's what happens.
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  Y'all and some narcissists date when y'all know this.
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  And this is one of the common themes of being in Natasha
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  relationship. That light that attracted to
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  that, that that attracted that narcissist to you in the 1st
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  place typically gets drained, doesn't it?
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  That light that you had, that light that comes up typically
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  gets drained down low because that's how the narcissist is
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  treating you like they because you're the type of person that
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  won't give up. They won't try to fix me until
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  the job is done until you fix me.
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  And that's why so many people stay with narcissist, right?
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  Because you always think that I need to be fixed and you want to
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  be the one that fixed me. You don't want to put all of
• 7:03
  this work in and have somebody else gain.
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  You have somebody else get what you've been working for, right?
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  You don't want to have anybody else get what you've been
• 7:12
  working for. Just get, you know what I'm
• 7:14
  saying? Get me?
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  You don't want to feel like you wasted your time.
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  So you continuously sacrifice and give and give and give.
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  And that narcissist or me in this instance, in this example,
• 7:23
  I just take and take and take. So that's what ends up happening
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  right here. Y'all, Most people, they think
• 7:31
  like most people think that they were targeted because they're
• 7:35
  weak, right? And when I said in the
• 7:36
  beginning, narcissists don't choose weak people, they don't
• 7:40
  choose weak people. They don't choose the broken,
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  like I said, the the one with the hurt leg, unless they
• 7:45
  themselves have a hurt leg, right?
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  Like they're not choosing weak people.
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  A narcissist typically needs a strong partner, somebody that's
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  resilient, somebody that can bounce back and keep giving and
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  giving and giving. A weak person would break in a
• 8:00
  month or a couple of weeks or whatever, right?
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  And they have to find somebody new, right?
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  They need that, that narcissistic person, that
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  narcissist needed someone who could survive the cycle of love
• 8:10
  bombing and evaluation. Now, I know people going to ask
• 8:13
  when I say that. I know people going to ask me.
• 8:14
  Like, so Lee, are they aware of the love bombing and evaluation?
• 8:16
  I don't think they're hyper aware of those phases per SE,
• 8:19
  right? But if a narcissist has a lot of
• 8:21
  relationship experience, yeah, they know what they're they tend
• 8:24
  to know what they're doing. They tend to know that the end
• 8:26
  is coming, right? They're not sitting around here
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  just waiting around. They know that the end, they
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  know that something is going on. They know that the end is
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  coming. So they need you.
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  They need you to be able to withstand the love bombing and
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  evaluation for months, years without walking away and
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  sometimes be real, y'all. Sometimes the survivor doesn't
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  walk away. The narcissist discards you and
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  goes and finds someone else, right?
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  They, they discard you, they make you go.
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  They make you start healing journey like I chose you.
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  That narcissist chose you because they knew your loyalty
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  was so deep. You stay even when it started to
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  hurt. Like even when staying hurts you
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  still stay. You still chose that narcissist
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  he still picked to try to fix me.
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  When you were hurting. You still decided you were
• 9:17
  hurting. I'm you are hurting.
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  You think I'm hurting. You're trying to fix me while
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  you yourself are broken. I said this the other day and I
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  actually created a a photo off of it.
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  Y'all my AI stuff like you. You broke yourself trying to fix
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  me and now you have nothing left to give.
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  I know something else on that mean yesterday when I shared it.
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  So that's why I was just saying sometimes it's like you so many
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  people will stay longer than what they need this day because
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  they're like I said, it's manipulation, it's abuse, it's
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  it's damn near it's it's very toxic and tragic.
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  It really, really, that's a rock, y'all.
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  It really, really is. So this is what ends up
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  happening right here, y'all. So here's the final truth.
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  Always the hot and ready truth, the Little Caesars, the Little
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  Caesars hot and ready truth, y'all.
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  I didn't bring the joy to that relationship.
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  I stole yours. The narcissist, see, they might
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  have came up, they came in the relationship with counterfeit
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  joy, right? And they, you came in the
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  relationship with real joy, with the ability to experience real
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  joy, real happiness, real contentment.
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  They came in there with fake, with counterfeit joy and they
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  stole yours, right? They not only stole your joy,
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  sometimes they steal your personality.
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  They steal your hobbies, they stole your friends and family
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  members, right? They wore your personality like
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  a costume because they didn't have one of their own.
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  They don't have an authentic personality, they don't have an
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  authentic identity, so they stole yours, right?
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  The reason as a narcissist, I'm so obsessed, they they get so
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  obsessed with ruining you after the discard is because they
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  realized you were the source of everything good in their lives
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  and I didn't want to just be with you.
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  I wanted to be you. They wanted to be you.
• 10:58
  You ever deal with a narcissist? Did you feel like was trying to
• 11:01
  replace you in your own life? And you're like, what the hell
• 11:03
  is wrong with you? Like you started to act like me.
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  You started to sometimes it can. It doesn't have to be the
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  intimate partnership, right? Or intimate relationship.
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  It could be a friendship. You sort of act like me.
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  You sort of talk like me, sort of dress like me.
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  You and my friend groups. You have you work with me at the
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  same job. Your username on TikTok look
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  kind of like mine. You kind of replace me, ain't
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  you? Do they buy like that?
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  Y'all? That's why a lot of narcissists
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  choose you. They don't choose weak people.
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  So now you could feel weak when you're in a relationship with a
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  narcissist because they're draining.
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  You don't get you don't get a break.
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  One of the questions that I ask people when they're doing one on
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  ones with me, right? Mental illness.net for the one
• 11:43
  on ones. One thing I ask people is, what
• 11:46
  have you done for yourself lately?
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  What have you done for yourself lately?
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  What have you done? What have you given to yourself
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  lately? What kind of how many breaks
• 11:58
  have you taken lately? You know, the young lady I
• 12:01
  talked to earlier, she, she hadn't taken a break or did
• 12:03
  anything for herself in a long time.
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  She can't remember the last thing that she did.
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  She couldn't remember. She couldn't remember what she
• 12:08
  liked to do. I said what I said, what else do
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  you I said, if you haven't done anything for yourself in a long
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  time, what do you like to do? She couldn't tell me.
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  She forgot what she liked to do. She had lost her identity while
• 12:21
  he took it. She's like, well, I used to like
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  doing this, but now he does it. I used to like doing that, but
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  now he does it. So it took the joy from it.
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  You know, I used to like going. I used to like going hiking up
• 12:30
  the, the hills and the little mountains we have in town.
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  I don't like to do it anymore because he started doing it and
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  when I, we, we did it together, it was my hobby.
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  First he didn't like doing it. Then he started to do it with
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  me. He started yelling and screaming
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  at me on on the trails, making it, making the mic, making the
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  hikes horrible. So I stopped going.
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  He still goes. I don't like doing it anymore.
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  They he took her hobby, took her identity, stole it, started
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  wearing it, started wearing her identity identity like a skin
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  suit. He picked her because he was she
• 13:00
  was better than him. Sometimes they pick you because
• 13:03
  you are better than him. Y'all, and this is not me trying
• 13:05
  to be like so oh, they picked you because you were just bright
• 13:07
  shining light in the universe. You were shining light, right?
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  You're not the only shining light.
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  There's a lot of lights right? They picked you because you were
• 13:14
  shining now. So keep shining y'all.
• 13:18
  Hit the subscribe button if you haven't already.
• 13:20
  While they picked you sometimes can be irrelevant.
• 13:22
  Some people want to know that. But while they picked you you,
• 13:26
  they didn't pick you because you're an injured gazelle.
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  They pick you because you could outrun them.
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  They quit you. You slowed down because you
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  slowed down because they, they gave you a good script.
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  They they gave you a good. They pretended to be everything
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  that you wanted them to be. And that's what ends up
• 13:39
  happening sometimes, y'all? Anyways, y'all mental
• 13:42
  illness.net for all things Lee Hammock.
• 13:44
  Hit that subscribe button if you haven't already.
• 13:46
  And it's always, it's always, this is out peace.