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Vacay Impulse · The Imperfect Impulse w/Bree O'Connor

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Imperfect Impulse with Brie O'Connor.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'm your host, Brie O'Connor.
• 0:08
  Today I'm going to try and do just a mini episode because I'm
• 0:13
  technically still on
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: break,
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  but a few things have bubbled up in my attention and I want to
• 0:20
  bring this to the
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: group as something to meditate on.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to start with a little story.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Back when my youngest was just a baby, we had an event.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now there's 10 years between my eldest and my youngest children.
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  So we often went to these parties with the parents of my eldest
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  child's friends.
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  SPEAKER_00: That was our social group of the moment.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we're at this birthday party or something for...
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: or maybe it was an end of the school year party.
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  SPEAKER_00: At any rate,
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  SPEAKER_00: we were at somebody's house,
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  a bunch of fifth grade kids running all over the joint and
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  doing fifth grade
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  SPEAKER_00: things.
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  SPEAKER_00: And,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: a couple of younger siblings,
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  SPEAKER_00: but most of them in,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: probably second or third grade.
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  SPEAKER_00: So the age range was from second to fifth.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the adults are all talking and
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  having drinks in the kitchen,
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  and my baby,
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  at the time,
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  she cries,
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  so I go to attend to her.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now,
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  SPEAKER_00: it's at this point,
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  SPEAKER_00: and the story picks up from my husband's perspective,
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  SPEAKER_00: because I did not hear this,
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  SPEAKER_00: but my husband thought that this was hilarious.
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  SPEAKER_00: One of our friends that was standing next to my husband,
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  SPEAKER_00: he looks at the baby,
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  SPEAKER_00: and he looks at Tom,
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  SPEAKER_00: and he says,
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  SPEAKER_00: Oh,
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  SPEAKER_00: Are we still doing this?
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  Just because our children were getting older that that
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  experience of being around
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  SPEAKER_00: an infant was over and couldn't quite imagine anyone else in that space.
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  That phrase comes to mind as I was wandering around Instagram
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  and checking out some
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  SPEAKER_00: of my friends and what they're up to these days.
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  SPEAKER_00: And boy, a lot of people are getting new headshots.
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  And in doing what I do,
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  I have a large group of collaborators and friends and
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  acquaintances who
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  SPEAKER_00: And they span from 20 to 80.
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  So as I'm looking at all of these active friends of mine all
• 2:50
  dropping new headshots
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  SPEAKER_00: into their IG accounts,
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  SPEAKER_00: and I'm noticing that a lot of these younger women are...
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: have at least one photo where they are lustily staring at the camera.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that thought entered my head, like, oh, are we still doing this?
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  And it's something that I've always had a difficult time
• 3:20
  navigating because I never
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: quite fit into that lusty archetype.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not a natural fit for me, and if I do,
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  SPEAKER_00: do it, it feels weird, possibly a little repulsive.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's just me.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not that I think I couldn't do it or that I don't have it in me.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's just not a natural place for me to be.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I'm wondering about this desire of
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  SPEAKER_00: I'll readily admit that encountering a face,
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  it feels like that face is looking at you with some kind of
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  thirst or hunger,
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  SPEAKER_00: is automatically appealing to the nervous system.
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  And it doesn't matter if you're necessarily sexually attracted
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  to that person.
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  SPEAKER_00: There is something that is appealing,
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  SPEAKER_00: especially if the shine on the cheekbone is in just the right place.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry about that ding.
• 4:27
  But I'm also curious that these photographs are being posted by
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  women who would
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  normally suggest that the male gaze is not something that they
• 4:44
  want to play to.
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  And this brings me to a much deeper question about how we
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  represent feminine desire.
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  SPEAKER_00: Quite frequently,
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  SPEAKER_00: you'll see these young women who are,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: in the peak of their physical form.
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  SPEAKER_00: They're often dancers, very active, and, you know, I'm not a prude.
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  I don't mind if you want to show off your body,
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  if that's a thing you want to do.
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  But these boudoir photos and a young woman in a presumably
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  boyfriend's button-down
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  shirt sitting and nothing else and sitting amongst some rumpled
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  covers in a fresh
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  SPEAKER_00: morning light.
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  SPEAKER_00: There's no mistaking the message of that photo.
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  That photo invites you to imagine that that's your bed and your
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  shirt and your window.
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  SPEAKER_00: And there's this young girl there for you.
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  And not that I want to stop,
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  because I do find a lot of these photos beautiful.
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  SPEAKER_00: I love pinups, man.
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  SPEAKER_00: There's something joyful and fun in them.
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  SPEAKER_00: But I don't know if we have ever...
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  SPEAKER_00: truly examined what female desire looks like outside pleasing men.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it just makes me curious.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now, I remember going to see Eyes Wide Shut, not knowing what to expect.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm sitting in the theater and I
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  I don't remember much of that movie other than thinking it was
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  a load of horseshit.
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  But there's a moment when Nicole Kidman starts going into this
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  monologue as they're
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  SPEAKER_00: getting ready for their evening.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it's this long, drawn-out, quiet monologue.
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  SPEAKER_00: And for a second, I perked up and I went, oh, wow, this is...
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  SPEAKER_00: This is exciting.
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  This is touching on the nature of female desire and what that
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  might be like in a
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  SPEAKER_00: singular perspective.
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  SPEAKER_00: And no, that's not what the movie was about at all.
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  SPEAKER_00: My hopes were dashed soon after.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I don't have answers for this at all.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm just curious and I want to pose this as a creative question.
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  SPEAKER_00: What is the true nature of female desire?
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  SPEAKER_00: What does it look like?
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  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to be pornographic about it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because that's a really easy place.
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  SPEAKER_00: An easy exploitative place that we go to.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that's why this conversation is so tricky.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I'm posing it to you.
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  SPEAKER_00: What is...
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  SPEAKER_00: self-aware, self-possessed female desire look like?
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  SPEAKER_00: And have we ever seen it?
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm curious.
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  I'm curious what that might entail and how that might enter a
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  story somewhere.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'll percolate on it for a while myself.
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  SPEAKER_00: We'll see what happens.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's it for our mini episode of The Imperfect Impulse.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: I want to let you know of a few things we've got coming up.
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  SPEAKER_00: On May 30th,
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  SPEAKER_00: we are taking part in Reading Resistance series,
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  SPEAKER_00: which will be happening at the Old Stone House in Brooklyn on May 30th.
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  SPEAKER_00: There'll be some information coming out about it.
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  SPEAKER_00: I promise that I'll share links when possible.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's for all you New Yorkers.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: For those of you outside New York,
• 8:49
  I am really excited to be offering this amazing video interview
• 8:55
  that I did with
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  playwright and actor and dramaturg Nikki Hatsidis regarding a
• 9:02
  few projects that
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  SPEAKER_00: she's got upcoming.
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  I'm excited to offer that as a video interview and I hope to
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  interview some more
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  SPEAKER_00: playful substance artists about their process.
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  So many exciting things happening in the next few months,
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  including keep your eyes peeled.
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  SPEAKER_00: We are going to be releasing some self-directed online courses this year,
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  SPEAKER_00: which I'm very excited about.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the first one is called Listen to Your Script.
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  And it offers playwrights or writers of any kind a methodology
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  for self-assessment
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  of your text that involves your full body and your listening
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  skills and your
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: feedback skills.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm really excited to be offering this.
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  SPEAKER_00: So keep your eyes peeled.
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  SPEAKER_00: I promise I'll let you know about all of these upcoming things online.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: PlayfulSubstance.com and here on the Imperfect Infos.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.