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Transcript

Never Again, But I Agained: How to Respond Differently · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

• 0:00
  Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always
• 0:07
  learning and living your full experience.
• 0:11
  I'm your host, Coach C, and this is Season 4, Episode 6, Never Again, But I Aginned, Now What?
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  Real talk have you ever made a declaration with your whole chest something like never again,
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  never again will i answer that text never again will i lend them money never
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  again will i tolerate disrespect never again will i shrink myself never again will i go back,
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  and then you again,
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  you answered you returned you trusted you gave another chance you reopened the
• 0:56
  door now you're sitting there frustrated mad,
• 1:01
  embarrassed disappointed not just with them though with yourself,
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  here's what I need you to hear just because you again doesn't mean you're destined to keep a getting.
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  Sometimes we revisit a lesson because we haven't fully learned what it came to teach.
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  Sometimes hope overrides wisdom.
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  Sometimes love gets louder than boundaries.
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  Sometimes we confuse potential with reality.
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  And sometimes we simply want the ending we deserve the first time.
• 1:41
  Maya Angelou wasn't being harsh when she said, when people show you who they
• 1:47
  are, believe them the first time.
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  That isn't bitterness. That's discernment.
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  People reveal themselves through patterns, not promises, not apologies,
• 2:00
  not speeches, patterns.
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  If disrespect is consistent, believe it. If inconsistency is consistent, believe it.
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  If accountability never arrives, believe that too.
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  Because wishing someone would become different doesn't make them different.
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  Then there's the other saying, we've all heard it. Fool me once, shame on you.
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  Fool me twice, shame on me. That saying isn't about blame. It's about responsibility.
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  The first time, you didn't know. The second time, you have information.
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  Now your decision carries awareness that's growth.
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  Here's the good news don't waste time beating yourself up because you again,
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  instead ask what did this repeat reveal,
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  did it expose a boundary you never enforced,
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  a wound you never healed,
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  a need for validation,
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  a fear of letting go Because repeated experiences are often mirrors.
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  They're not always punishment.
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  Sometimes they're invitations to grow differently.
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  Real talk, stop making never again your goal.
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  Make next time I'll respond differently your goal.
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  Because transformation isn't measured by never making another mistake.
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  It's measured by making a different decision when the opportunity to repeat it shows up.
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  Healing isn't proven by what you say today.
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  It's proven by what you do when yesterday knocks again. Thank you.
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  So, maybe you did again. Okay, now what?
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  Now you stop romanticizing potential. Now you trust what you've experienced.
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  Now you honor your own boundaries.
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  Now you stop apologizing for protecting your peace.
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  Because every repeated lesson is offering you another chance.
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  Not to become bitter, but to become wiser.
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  And wisdom isn't never falling. It's finally refusing to trip over the same
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  thing once you recognize where it is.
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  Here's your fearless homework. This week, complete these four exercises.
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  Number one, identify your agend.
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  Write down one situation, relationship, habit, or decision you said you never repeat, but did.
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  Second, find the lesson. Instead of asking, why did this happen again?
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  Ask, what was I supposed to learn that I missed the first time?
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  Third, name the pattern. Is it people pleasing, loneliness, fear, comfort, hope?
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  Write the pattern down. You can't change what you won't name.
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  And fourth, create your new response. Finish this sentence.
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  The next time this situation presents itself, I will blank instead.
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  Not because you're bitter, but because you're better.
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  Never again is a great declaration, but I respond differently now is the real evidence of growth.
• 5:49
  Until next time, keep learning, keep living, and remember, sometimes the lesson
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  comes back around, not because you failed,
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  but because life is giving you one more opportunity to choose differently.
• 6:06
  This is Real Talk where we're realizing everyone is always learning and living your own experience,
• 6:15
  Make sure you're following me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real
• 6:19
  Life That's L-Y-F-E for more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between episodes
• 6:27
  This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.