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Owlman / Third Skull · The Danger Zoo

0:02
Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
0:07
Welcome back everyone to the Danger Zoo, the Department of
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Alumnus, the Department of Anomalous and Non Human Genetic
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Entities, Reconnaissance, and Zoola's logical Occult
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operations. I am Coyote the game warden and
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this is episode 3 of The Owl Man.
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Thought you want to give us a brief on what happened in
0:24
Episode 2? Of course, of course.
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So episode 2 started off with Baby Bird abandoning us.
0:32
He just floated off and left us here by ourselves.
0:35
Piece of shit. I know right?
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And a strange boomer appeared. Or would he be the Greatest
0:44
Generation? I don't know.
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I think I think he was the greatest generation.
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Yeah, we he showed up and was racist to me because I'm tan.
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Said that boy with a hard why? Yeah, then he he he base
1:01
accidentally informed me that we need to collect skulls and
1:04
complete this little puzzle so we can finally meet this owl man
1:08
freak and Oh yeah, me. And you fell down the sewer
1:11
again, you freaked out. But that was my second rodeo, so
1:15
that wasn't too bad for me. I.
1:17
Didn't freak out, I was unconscious.
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I threw a almost dead guy at y'all trying to help.
1:22
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's definitely a dead guy
1:24
now. Yeah, he's.
1:25
Definitely dead now, yeah. I brought down the room a little
1:28
bit with my dead dog story when I went into scaredy push shock.
1:33
Yeah, you. You're definitely the party
1:35
pooper last week. My bad it happens.
1:38
I was trying to make it really horrifying because happy
1:42
Halloween everyone. Hopefully we have a special
1:44
Halloween episode for you. We will see.
1:47
We can record that and if I can get our editor to have that out
1:49
in time, well, hopefully Mary can get off his fucking ass and
1:53
he can edit this episode before it comes out and whole in for
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Halloween. Otherwise, it's going to have to
1:58
wait till next year. There's just something about
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Mary. There is something about Mary.
2:04
Got a little something on your ear.
2:05
There is that hair gel. Oh.
2:08
Man. Solid 90s comedy.
2:11
Anyways, let's get into the story, boys.
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Back to the mission. So thought he and myself are
2:20
outside the front door to the West.
2:23
Hazy went over there. Oh yeah, that was the other
2:26
thing. We.
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Missed. Oh yeah, I forgot he shot he he
2:28
shot the skull and expected nothing to happen.
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No, I expected it to happen. It fell.
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I got it. That's something you knew,
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Brett. You knew better.
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You can't just feign ignorance. What do?
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You want me to do? I tried jumping.
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I don't know, look for a ladder to stand on, get help, literally
2:45
anything but destroy it. That's that's not how my mind
2:48
works buddy. Anyways.
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All right. Are you going to tell us you
2:54
have the skull? So I thought, I know we have all
2:56
three skulls. I mean, I guess I can't if if I
3:00
know there's only three, do I as everybody know there's only
3:02
three? Well, Thadi is for sure that
3:04
there's three. He found out from the dead guy.
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I don't know, Dick. Well, I'm going to please
3:10
stupid. I'm going to please stupid then.
3:12
I guess I forgot to tell you I, I I do like a classic romance
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anime thing where I ping you up against a wall and I what they
3:19
call strong arming where I put my arm next to your head and it
3:21
looks like I'm about to kiss you.
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And then I TikTok trend where I go oh mother.
3:26
Yeah, that one. And I fill you in on everything.
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All right, cool. Thank you for the heads up.
3:32
Let me fucking go now. I stare it in your eyes for a
3:37
few seconds, you can tell there's a debate happening
3:39
behind my eyes. And then I I let you go.
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All right, I'm just going to walk over here back to the
3:45
truck. Now you can tell that there's
3:49
some sexual tension here. That is man made, man being me.
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Yes, and it's it's one sided. This is very if if I was a
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YouTube, this would be a very parasocial relationship we have
4:02
here. It's not OK, but something
4:04
happens as I walk S to the gate here, gentlemen.
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I get well to the end for the iron gate is at the end of the
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cemetery. And I don't see anything outside
4:16
the cemetery. It just looks like a gaping
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void, kind of like you've ever seen Silent Hill when they tried
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to leave and it's just a cavernous so that's not cool,
4:26
not cool at all. And I report back on the radio.
4:30
Houston, we have a problem. The roads are gone.
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Everything outside of the graveyard and the church here
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seems to be abyss. Sons of bitches.
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Yeah, I could. I knew that, Yeah.
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Why don't I always let y'all talking me into this kind of
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stuff man? Because this is your final
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mission. After this mission, you're
4:51
getting paid homie. Oh shit, holla at your boy then
4:55
I'm going to come running back because you just mentioned
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money. That's until I find out that he
5:00
broke the fucking skull. Yeah, shit.
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So hey guys, did you guys find anything?
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You come, you come running back to 30.
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Now what? Hey guys, Did you guys find
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anything interesting? We got two of the three skulls.
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You haven't seen the third one, have you?
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Oh, sons of bitches, what if I have?
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But I want y'all to turn around and I'm going to put it on the
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ground real quick so nothing could be blamed on me at the
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state of it. Are you?
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How do you think? That's going to work.
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You know what, fuck it. Hey, I'm on.
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Take it out and throw it at you. Want it?
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One piece of each of y'all. I walk back and I get tossed
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half a skull and I'm like what the fuck is this?
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I found it. Why is there a warm bullet hole
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in the skull? It's still warm.
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I didn't ask questions man, I just found it.
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I also heard a gunshot from where you were earlier.
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I said I didn't shoot the damn skull out the tree, man.
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Damn I'm. Role diplomacy and I'm fingering
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the hole in this skull and I'm like, it is in fact a warm
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bullet hole. AZ Hey, roll for diplomacy.
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It's going to be your AD 20 with charisma.
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Toddy, you also roll 1. Oh I got a Nat 20 + 3, so 23.
6:18
All right, hold on, hold on. I got a 17 + 1.
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I got a 13. OK, hey, so Toddy and I listen
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to your story. We continue to finger these
6:31
bullet holes and we look at each other.
6:33
We. We don't quite believe you, but
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we also can't prove you wrong. So we're just going to say, all
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right, I'm going to keep an eye on you.
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I'm going to watch you real close, Mr. Someone likes to
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desecrate dead bodies. Can't be trusted.
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Someone's putting bullet sized penis holes in these skulls.
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What the fuck? Wait a minute, I'm supposed to
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be the one that says freaky stuff, not you?
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Hey man, you hang out with someone long enough, you start
7:03
putting their things. Anyways, what are we doing,
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gentlemen? I've got the skull now so it's
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all for me. Y'all touched it last.
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OK. It's all for you.
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Help us figure out how to put these together or something.
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Yeah, I'm reading what the old man told us.
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The old perverted racist man told us earlier.
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Man, what a man after my own heart.
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Perverted and racist. Yeah, I'm reading, and I don't
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see where it tells us to put the wait.
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I think I get it, guys. I need.
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I need the skulls. Him.
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You're half of the skull. I pass my skull to you, my half.
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I take off running into the church towards the bell tower,
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giggling the cool girl. I want to go skipping behind
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them. Yeah and when I get to the top I
8:01
wait is I can't remember is there 2 bells in the tower?
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No, there's only one bell. Sorry about that.
8:08
You make it all the way up to the tower, where there is an
8:10
empty Clapper in the bell. I'm going to stay down here at
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the bottom, right outside the door.
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Hazy. Do you want to go in or do you
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want to stay with me? I mean, looks pretty cranked in
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that I've already been in enough cramped spots, so I'm good.
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I'll stay right here. It's true.
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OK. Am I able to?
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Can I actually roll investigation to see if there's
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like a place inside the bell for me to put the skulls without
8:33
them falling out of the bell? Absolutely roll.
8:38
Isn't it in wisdom or intelligence modifier?
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I don't remember intelligence. All right, 17 you're.
8:44
Looking at it and you're like, where could this possibly go?
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And a slow wind rustles the bell and the Clapper hits the side of
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it. And you expect to hear a bong,
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but you just hear kind of a clunk, clunk.
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And then you notice the Clapper has a hole right in the center
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of it that's almost skull shape and that's probably why it's not
9:06
making the right noises when the bell gets hit.
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Huh. Wouldn't you know it?
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OK, I see the radio and I think I say, guys, I think I had to
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put the skulls in the bell and ring the bell.
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What's with you in just putting things in random slots?
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I don't blame me how I was raised.
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OK, I put the skull with the bow into the Clapper first and I
9:45
ring it. Before you put it in there, you
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hear the owl screech and it does those 3 tones you heard earlier
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where it was 1 high, 1 low, 1 medium.
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OK, so that just. I just let you know before you
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do. It I just re, I just reinforced
10:00
my memory of what I thought the tones were.
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Yeah. So I put the one with the bow in
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first. All right, put that skull in
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that hole. I I do, and I ring the clap and
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I ring the bell. Oh.
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You're going to ring the bell. All righty Roo, Everybody give
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me a scaredy puss roll. I'm going to do the D100I trust
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you. Everyone just doesn't bring that
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one up. Thought you got an 83.
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Hazy, you got a 73. I got a 36.
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So I'm pretty sure that's above both your limits.
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Both. You're going to take two points
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of damage to your scaredy puss. Yay all.
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Right. So when that happens, thoughty
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your hands start to shake really bad because you just once that
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bell hits you, just this screech happens that echoes down through
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the bell tower. I'm far enough away from it.
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It doesn't affect me, but Hazy is right by the door.
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So as that sound comes down and it cuts through, Hazy gets a
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little bit shook up too. And now both of you are kind of
11:02
on edge. Your hands are shaking.
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Hazy's already got a -, 2 because he can only use one
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hand, so now he's going to go down to Everything he rolls is
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going to be at a -, 4 thought a year.
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Everything you roll is going to be a -, 2.
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Yay. And then the church shakes just
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a little. I'm straight up not having a
11:23
good time. What was the tone of the bell
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ringing? It sounded really high from down
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here. What did it sound like to you?
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Hazy. What are you talking to me?
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I can't hear nothing bro. Apparently he was standing too
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close to the bell tower. I just yell or I don't know why
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I'm yelling up. We have radios, but I just yell
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up the bell tower because I think it's cooler.
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I'm like, it sounds really high pitched, like a high tone to it.
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Is that what you meant to do? Yeah, totally.
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OK, I take the skull with the bow out, put it back in my Jinko
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jeans, but I'm going to also replace it with the skull that
12:04
is a lighter color. Is that the one that?
12:10
The bigger daddy's skull. Is that bigger?
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Oh yeah. The one bigger.
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OK. The knot.
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Oh yeah, the bigger skull. Yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, the knot busted in two skull.
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Yeah. All right, you put that one in
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there. Go ahead and roll to see how
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that goes. Remember you got a -, 2.
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Any modifiers? Now you're just rolling to see
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how it goes. OK, one.
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Oh fuck. Am I still standing next to the
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door? I mean, you didn't move.
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Sons of bitches. You go to put that in there.
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You're pretty shaken up. I've I've noticed hazy's a bit
12:48
weird. So I had actually walked into
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the bell tower and as you were trying to put that second skull
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in, you push it in a little too far and it falls.
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But don't worry, baby daddy's here and that skull falls all
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the way down and with my fucking 19 roll I catch that thing
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because it was a total of 21. I catch the skull and I'm like
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hey, what the fuck are you doing?
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Are you throwing skulls now? No.
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I look at Haze, I go, hey, I'm going up there, man.
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He doesn't sound too good. So I bring the skull back up to
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you at the top. Are you trying to put the skull
13:22
in here? Yeah.
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Good role-playing. Good role-playing.
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I noticed. Thought he's pretty shaken up.
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I'm going to. I'm going to put this in here
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for you. OK, big guy.
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It's all right. You'll be all right.
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Can I get can I get a head pad? Oh no, I got to put it in and
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I'm so worried about thoughty that I push it through and the
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skull falls all the way to the bottom.
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I want to try to catch it. Let me be a hero.
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All right, let's see. Roll AD 20 Athletics.
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Check. Hell yeah.
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Oh, athletics, that's zero for me, so that should be fun.
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You're also at a - 4. Motherfuck 15.
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So 11. You catch it and it cracks in
14:06
two in your hands. I'm.
14:08
Just going to put it on the ground and be like y'all want to
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find this one too because I don't know what happened.
14:16
Thought he and I are staring at you from above like it's a bell
14:18
tower. We can see all the way down,
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man. Like what?
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Still can't hear shit. I I look down and I you don't
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know. What that means?
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I don't know what that means, but I love it.
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What y'all doing? Oh well, I mean, we need that
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skull. I guess some big facts.
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Take it up there. We're all getting up there then
14:43
I guess. So let me grab the pieces up
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because I love cramp places with a bunch of people.
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All right, you get to the top one.
14:52
I I know you broke that skull. I can't prove it, but I know.
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And you're also just as shaky as him.
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So I snatch it out of your hands and I put the skull back in
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there. Does it fall?
15:00
This time, thank God, no, it rings out.
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Yay, boom. Takes a scaredy puss roll go in
15:10
the same order. 30750 Hazy 49 What's your score right now?
15:16
Out of 35. Oh, well, you don't make that
15:19
one either. Oh, I got AI got a one.
15:23
I'm fine. You both get shook up when this
15:26
thing like rings again and I'm looking at you guys.
15:27
I'm like, it's a fucking bell. What's wrong with you?
15:30
2 But also there was kind of a there was kind of a guttural
15:34
shriek that went through this tower this time.
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So I'm not shaken up, but I'm I'm a little on edge now.
15:42
You guys both take two more points of security post damage.
15:46
I do the classic Shaggy and I jump on your side and hang off
15:51
to you. Jesus Christ, we're on stairs in
15:54
a very cramped space. Please don't do that, I'm
15:57
scared. But now both of you notice
16:02
something just out of the corner of your eye and you both turn to
16:06
look but it's gone. But you keep seeing it pump up
16:09
every so often. So I'm going to need you both to
16:13
roll a perception roll. 7. Oh fuck me 9.
16:22
It's it's driving you crazy both just like keep looking around
16:24
and I'm staring at you like, what are you doing?
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Is something on your back? What the fuck's happening to you
16:30
too? And it's not another
16:32
motherfucking squirrel, is it? I want to like freak out and
16:35
pull up my gun. As I'm hanging off your side
16:38
like Shaggy, I like grab, grab her face and turn it to mine and
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go. I'm scared.
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All right, calm down. Calm down, bud.
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There you go. Give me some head Pats.
16:48
There you go. Over in the Meadow, in the sand,
16:51
in the sun with an old mother turtle, a little turtle.
16:54
One dig said the mother. I dig, said the one.
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So they dug all day in the sand, in the sun.
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Go ahead and give yours, toddy. You go ahead and give yourself
17:05
one scaredy puss point back because I calmed you down and I
17:07
helped you through it a little bit with my nursery rhyme.
17:10
Yay. Thanks for thanks for keying me
17:13
in on what's going on with you 2 Like you guys are freaking me
17:16
out here. You guys knock it off.
17:18
Finally the scaredy shit stop. I mean, you're still scared,
17:22
you're still got like, you're still rolling a -2 and
17:25
everything, but yeah, you're going up.
17:27
Yeah, yeah. If I get below 45, I get the
17:29
scary shits. Any of these scary?
17:31
Shits Oh no. It's something.
17:35
All right, so we got one last skull and I'm looking at the
17:37
skull and I'm like, all right, then I pass out gum to everyone.
17:40
Everyone chew this. So we're just sitting there just
17:42
chewing gum. All right, give me your gum.
17:47
Everyone give me your gum. Just giant wads of gum in my
17:53
fucking hand. And I start piercing this skull
17:55
back together and I shove the final skull in and I'm going to
18:01
roll. Everyone hold your breath.
18:06
Oh. Baby A triple Nat 20.
18:13
I ring this bell. Bing Bing like a boss.
18:17
And it's, it is like Hiroshima outside, like it is just.
18:22
Lit up. Something is happening outside,
18:25
like the world is on fire around this church and you hear.
18:37
Keep it down and Crybaby. You guys hear the owl screech
18:41
and all of a sudden boom. The Owl Man has entered the
18:46
chat. The discord like someone joins
18:51
the channel noise places. Yeah, so there's a loud thump in
18:56
the middle of the church. We don't see anything, but the
19:00
big fireball outside is gone and it's night time again and the
19:04
shaking has stopped. But you feel like an aura around
19:08
it, like we're a Dragon Ball Z character and we can feel
19:11
somebody's power levels over 9000.
19:14
Uh oh, Spaghettios. Guys, the scaredy shits are
19:19
back. If you smell something, I'm
19:21
sorry. It does start stinking here, but
19:23
honestly we kind of fell in the sewers it it's been smelling
19:26
like shit since we got here. Well, not no.
19:29
I'm going to get the hell out of this tiny room with y'all and
19:31
slide back down that ladder or whatever it is.
19:35
It's a staircase, A spiral staircase.
19:38
You're in the kitchen. I I also run back down the.
19:43
Stair, you're in the kitchen. I'm up top collecting the
19:48
skulls, putting them in my backpack.
19:50
Now I'm not weighed down on my Jinko jeans about the skulls
19:53
anymore. Well, you have one of the
19:56
skulls, I have the other two. Yeah, but that's one's less than
19:59
3, so I will. Big facts, big facts.
20:03
What's going on, gentlemen? Well, we haven't rolled.
20:07
We haven't rolled initiative yet.
20:08
So I walked to the door to the main room and I say hey buddy.
20:16
And when you get to the door, you see this behemoth of a man
20:21
shaped figure with giant bat wings and an owl head that is
20:27
huge looking even though you can tell it's squatted down and its
20:30
wings are kind of wrapped around it.
20:32
And you can't make out any specific details about him other
20:37
than the fact that it's definitely an owl face and has
20:40
huge red eyes. And as you're staring at it, it
20:44
stands up and you see its head is upside down and it rotates
20:48
its head back straight, looking at you without saying a word.
20:54
You got the study, I'm on the back and just like you got you.
20:58
Hear an audible scary fart in the silence.
21:05
One of those wet ones where like you got to go check it
21:07
afterwards. No, there's no question of it.
21:10
You don't have to check it. It's.
21:11
Stopped. Yeah, I think he shitted his
21:13
pants. Is it OK?
21:15
I got to be a brave man now and I say hey buddy.
21:20
As you're doing that, I, I come down the stairs, I walk up
21:23
behind you and as you're like, hey buddy, I look over your
21:26
shoulders, I go, Jesus fucking Christ, what is that thing?
21:30
Way to ruin the move guy. Hey man, I haven't been scared
21:33
this entire time except for that one thing with the sewers of my
21:35
dead dog and I just freaked the fuck out that there's a giant
21:38
owl man in here. I've seen worse today.
21:42
OK. So I, I'm like, hey, buddy,
21:47
we've, we've lost our, our Jewish friend.
21:50
Have you seen him? On the word Jewish, everybody
21:54
rolls friend. They should have.
21:55
Oh, no 15. Rut row 11.
22:03
I knew I should have referred to him as a Filipino and not a Jew.
22:08
Should have gone with a safe bet.
22:10
Well, the L man rolled A20 gentleman and I rolled a 13, so
22:13
it's going to go L man hazy myself and then tawde.
22:17
Alrighty give. Me one second to pull up his
22:19
beast sheep, beast sheep. That sounds dirty.
22:23
Yeah, that's why I call it that. Like everything, like we have a
22:26
the beat and sleep, so everything's just kind of gross
22:29
with us. Am I still going under?
22:31
*** fool. And yes, you are, but initiative
22:35
doesn't count. Oh, it does count, actually,
22:37
Yeah, no. Fuck me, so it's.
22:39
Going to be the owl. It's going to be the owl man,
22:40
me, then you, then Thadi. Because Thadi is also rolling
22:43
low. Yeah.
22:45
But Thadi is in first place here, so the owl man books it
22:50
towards him and he swoops past Thadi, striking him as he goes.
22:55
Trying to give me one SEC. Thadi.
22:58
What's that AC girl? Sex team.
23:02
So what? So you're telling me a 2 does
23:04
not hit? That dude is not.
23:07
Ah damn, so he swoops by, completely misses you, freaks me
23:11
out a little bit. I fall back into hazy just a
23:13
little bit. So now I'm flat footed because I
23:15
wasn't expecting that. You're still good to go.
23:17
I turn around, look at you, 2 in the ground and I go.
23:20
Must have been the wind. Yeah, so now he is perched high
23:26
up in the ceiling of the kitchen here and now it's my go.
23:29
So I started blasting and I shoot and miss and just bounce
23:35
off of a brick on the ceiling. Gavel Warden, The shadows you
23:43
chase are better shots than you. Hazier up it.
23:50
Doesn't even matter what I do anymore, I'm just going to lay
23:52
on the ground and accept defeat. Not playing.
23:55
So I'm rolling out a -4 I only have one hand.
23:58
What else? What other disabilities do I
24:00
have? -4 and you're shaking and you
24:04
keep seeing something out of the corner of your eye, but the
24:07
thing that both of you are seeing out of the corner of your
24:09
eye is starting to approach on your eyes a little bit more.
24:12
It doesn't seem to be just the corner of your eye, it seems to
24:15
be about about 1/4 of your vision.
24:19
No. Is it is it those little little
24:23
eye worms that you don't notice when you when you focus on them,
24:26
but when you're not focusing you can see them?
24:29
No, these, this is big as shit. You guys are really starting to
24:31
notice it. It's starting to affect your
24:33
vision. I'm just going to tell myself
24:36
that it's one of those eye worms, not to worry about it.
24:39
Sure, sure, sure, sure. Sure.
24:40
False confidence always works. Yep, I I lied to myself more
24:44
than everyone else. So what is the Owl Man like
24:47
focused on? Where does it live by?
24:49
He's just perched the top there. He hasn't done anything.
24:51
Just. Watching us all right, well
24:54
fucking you already took a pop shot at him.
24:57
I did, I panicked and I pop shotted.
25:00
I'm going to try to like use something sneaky.
25:02
That's why I had this shit. I'm going to try to like run out
25:04
the room real quick and, you know, figure this shit out, so
25:07
I'll have a little bit more sneaky.
25:08
You have to roll pretty high because study and I are in the
25:11
way of your door unless. What if I what if I roll the
25:12
bell tower? Yeah, what if I run into the
25:14
bell tower? Sure, roll a sneak.
25:18
Oh my God. Seven.
25:20
OK, yeah, You run into the bell tower, you take off, but you hit
25:25
the door, boom, and everyone just kind of watches you leave
25:27
the room. The owl is.
25:28
As much loud noise as possible. Everyone just kind of watched
25:32
you leave the room and Thoughty and I could see you like, hiding
25:34
around the corner and the owl is looking at you too.
25:37
We are. And the owl and Thoughty and I
25:39
just kind of swing our gaze back to each other, like just
25:41
forgetting that you took off. Is this your version of
25:48
vanishing bold strategy? Thought it.
25:53
You're up. You say he's hanging from the
25:57
ceiling, right? He's on a protruding 4 by 4 that
26:02
goes across the ceiling. It's kind of like one of those
26:04
old looking castles they were. They have the lanterns hanging
26:06
from the cross beams. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:10
Is he hanging from it or standing on it?
26:12
Sorry he is on the beam. He looks kind of half hidden
26:16
shadows like he's Batman. OK, well I can still see him a
26:20
little chump. I'm going to get running start
26:24
and then spring off the table and try to jump onto the beam,
26:27
but not like on him on the beam, but like just like onto the
26:31
beam. So we can do like that Pirates
26:32
of the Caribbean scene where they're fighting in the rafters
26:35
of the the blacksmith shop. I'll tell you what, since I can,
26:38
since I composed myself with hazy running in there and like
26:42
that kind of just added common relief and calmed everyone down,
26:45
I'm going to roll and I'm going to assist you with this and I'm
26:47
going to give you a leg up to toss you.
26:49
Hell yeah. All right, so let's both roll
26:52
for athletics. Don't need it now 20.
26:55
Oh, good, because I go to help you up with this gnat one that I
27:00
just rolled and I kind of fucked you up.
27:04
My hands fell through. I didn't have my hands properly,
27:06
but you still jumped, you still got out there and you still got
27:09
at him. So now what?
27:10
You're just on the beam with him just squaring off.
27:13
Yeah, I didn't want to do 2 actions because I knew you would
27:15
penalize me. Smart, smart, smart.
27:19
So now you're up there with said owl man.
27:22
It is the Alman's term. Bravery, the flavour I like
27:29
best. Bellman screeches at you. 12.
27:38
Does that do anything to you? Yeah.
27:40
Your AC is a 16. He just screams at you and it
27:43
kind of just blows your hair back and you're just like oh
27:45
God, your breath is tastes like a dead family.
27:48
This is awful. Can I like, toss a piece of gum
27:52
at? Absolutely.
27:54
You still have the gut. The skull you took is the skull
27:57
that's got the gum in there. So if you want, pull the used
27:59
gum off of the skull and send it at him.
28:02
Yeah, you notice. Just toss the chewed minty gum
28:06
at him. My God, man, you take this.
28:10
You need it more than that dead skull does.
28:13
Send it at him. Give me an athletics throw.
28:16
This is going to be your your your counter attack to his
28:18
screech. Athletics.
28:22
Oh yeah, with -2 doesn't even really matter right now.
28:25
I get a 13. Nice, so you hit it with him
28:30
where? In the face?
28:31
And when it hits him it sizzles and he screeches out in pain.
28:39
Oh funny thing. Funny thing about my gum, it was
28:42
in my backpack and I just captain to bless my all my stuff
28:45
whenever I go on mission. So you never know what you're
28:47
going to need. That's holy, baby girl.
28:50
Nice. And he takes no whammy.
28:53
No whammy, no whammy. 4 points of damage from a gumshot.
28:58
Jeez, you mean a? You mean a shot?
29:00
I mean a gumshot. Gumshot don't get his cancelled.
29:03
Yeah, Gumshot, that's what I said.
29:05
All right, so he screeches. I'm up, let's go.
29:08
Takes 4 points of damage which means she's a OK sorry, doing
29:12
quick maths I'm going to actually I'm going to run over
29:15
to Hazy and I'm going to bless him real quick.
29:18
Bless you child. With the Sue de Fuego.
29:22
Just my whole person. Yeah, I just put a seal on your
29:27
forehead, the same one I gave thoughty gives you +2 when
29:31
you're fighting stuff. That's.
29:34
Oh yeah, no, it'll give you a + 2.
29:37
So I guess you're just -2 now. And it does it for anything that
29:40
is like a ghost with non corporeal body, which this thing
29:44
originally didn't have a corporeal body or anything that
29:46
is hurt by faith-based religion. Because that is what my stuff
29:50
is. I'm a faith-based wizard Bard
29:54
thing for the group I guess. And that'll end my turn.
29:57
Hazer, you're back up. I was hoping that one of y'all
30:01
would get them on the ground, you know, level so I can sneak
30:05
up behind them and use my axe, but he's still up in the fucking
30:09
air. You could throw an X I'm.
30:11
Trying to be sneaky though so I was hoping like.
30:15
Because you weren't too sneaky when you ran.
30:17
Bless my heart, I'm trying my best.
30:19
And you can't have everything out you wanted.
30:21
If you're trying to be sneaky, why are you trying to get rid of
30:23
your sneaking boots? You, you gave us an option of we
30:26
had to get rid of something. Yeah, and you said I'll get rid
30:29
of these because I'm not sneaking.
30:31
That's what I'm trying to do anyways.
30:33
I just go out and start blasting.
30:36
Fuck it. All right, send it.
30:39
It's only 1 gun right? It's only 1 gun, so you're going
30:42
to roll AD 20, it's going to be -2 and for if you make damage,
30:46
it's not going to be your usual D8, it's going to be AD 6. -2 is
30:51
a 10. Start blasting boom fucking
30:54
nothing, just like on either side of him and he just like
30:57
slowly looks at you. Did the gunfire help your
31:05
stealth plan or was that the backup plan failing too?
31:11
Sorry, his attention is diverted and his face is still sizzling
31:14
from holy chewed asshole gum. I take off in a Sprint to keep
31:21
him from attacking my new husbando.
31:25
Jesus. All right, you better roll high.
31:26
You're on a 4x4 beam. Give me a melee attempt or are
31:31
you grappling up here? That sounds dangerous.
31:34
Yeah, I mean, am I, am I close enough, Tatum?
31:36
I didn't think I was. Oh sorry, I forgot to move you.
31:38
Yes, you're like you're like halfway.
31:41
So you're going to take like 2 steps to get to him.
31:43
It's going to be like one move. OK, then I don't take off on a
31:48
Sprint towards him and I just. Attack him.
31:50
I mean, all right, attack him. 16.
31:57
Is that with your -2? Yeah. 16 hits baby, give me some
32:01
damage. Do I have to do a -2 on my
32:04
damage rule? No, it's just on what you're
32:06
trying to accomplish. OK, then a six.
32:08
It's crazy. Had he hit you when he went
32:10
through here, he would have got hit with your shock and all.
32:13
Speaking of which, remind me of the shock and all because I
32:16
always forget it. I think you could have used it
32:18
like once or twice in the past two campaigns.
32:20
Oh, I can't control when it activates, so it's just so
32:23
whenever I get attacked, there's a chance that I discharge
32:27
electricity and harm the enemy. Yeah, but it's supposed to be
32:32
like if if you're not looking and they attack you, it's 100%.
32:37
If you are looking then it's like the first hit.
32:42
Same thing to you, hazy. Don't forget to look at your
32:43
skills man. Use use that shit to your
32:45
advantage. That's what I'm trying to do,
32:46
but all I have is night vision and sneaky shit.
32:49
I'm trying. I'm trying to.
32:51
You guys get mad at me when I shoot fucking skulls out of
32:54
trees and you know I'm trying because.
32:56
You're scooting, you're shooting skulls out of trees, and then
32:58
you want to swing axes at things in the sky.
33:00
Do the opposite. Swing stuff at skulls and shoot
33:03
at things in the sky. I.
33:04
Tend to remember missions where I solved every goddamn Riddle.
33:07
Calm down. Which mission was that?
33:09
Because that hasn't been one. Yeah, I don't remember 1 like
33:12
that either. I did a lot in that cave, that
33:14
cave one. You did a lot in that cave by
33:17
accident, and you did the first one.
33:19
I'm. Going to sit my ass down on the
33:21
floor in a pouty stance. Because it's being mean to me.
33:27
And you? I rolled A6 for my damage.
33:31
Damn, all right, six damage. OK, with that damage, he
33:34
actually falls from the rafter. You punch him, give him that two
33:37
piece and you just. Oh, I hope he stays there so I
33:42
can give him the people's elbow. He doesn't take too much damage,
33:46
as soon as he falls he is in a ready to pounce again pose,
33:50
waiting for Hazy and I to take our shot.
33:53
Actually no, it's his turn. Fuck.
33:55
I wish I had an action search so I can give him the people's
33:57
elbow right now. That would be cool.
34:00
Oh man, Hazy, you and I are going to do some security puss
34:03
rolls because he screeches at both of us.
34:06
Actually, no wait, Hazy do AD 20 roll for you.
34:10
Any modifier. No.
34:13
Fucking one man. Yeah, I got a 12.
34:17
So he screeches at both of us. You kind of just faint, just hit
34:24
the deck, No damage is done to you.
34:26
But he screeches at me. I freak out and I'm like oh God,
34:30
and now I'm on the back foot so I'm kind of just like shook in
34:35
my spot haze. It would have been your turn,
34:37
but you are now currently unconscious.
34:39
Give me a saving throw to see if you bounce back real quick.
34:42
It's going to be AD 20 with your constitution.
34:44
Constitution. It will be out of -2.
34:48
So I'm I'm staying down. It's a 3.
34:51
Yeah, your body shakes a little bit and nothing happens.
34:54
Thought of you're up. I don't know.
34:55
It's me. I'm up.
34:56
Let's go. Let's go.
34:58
No, I'm too shook up I guess. I got a blast at him again and I
35:01
just shoot like right over his head and I just start like
35:04
fiddly with my gun trying to calm myself down, thought he
35:07
What's happening? All right, well, I guess I'm
35:11
going to use this opportunity to give this motherfucker people's
35:14
elbow from the rafter, from the top.
35:16
Rafter do it. Buddy's standing up a.
35:23
Athletics. Modifier, yes, but also with
35:26
your -2. So that puts me out of 3020.
35:30
Give me a damage roll. I mean, what would be the damage
35:33
of a people's elbow D6? From a rafter up there, let's do
35:38
AD 8. 5. Five points of damage, you come
35:42
down, boom, nail this dude. He is on the ground.
35:46
He's not out, but he's slowly picking himself back up.
35:50
Hell yeah, hell yeah. I'll walk over to you guys and I
35:53
just like, strut away from him. I'm like give you guys some high
35:56
fives. You're going to give one of
35:58
those high fives that one's unconscious on the floor.
36:01
Coyote, can you please pick my hand up and give him a high 5?
36:05
I pick Hayley's hand up on high 5.
36:06
You see you get double high fives as you pass between us.
36:09
All right, so the owl is going to screech up into the air.
36:14
Let's see. Oh, he actually, that's fucking
36:18
insane. He goes to screech to power up
36:21
kind of like a Super Saiyan, and when he does some kind of gets
36:24
caught in his throat and it's a hairball of like his food.
36:28
He's like and he takes instead of healing himself with three
36:33
points, he takes three points of damage to himself.
36:35
What a fucking idiot. Dude, this might be the easiest
36:40
boss fight we've ever done. It might be, but it took a while
36:43
to fucking get here, that's for sure.
36:45
Yeah. Well, I'm not conscious for it,
36:48
so I wouldn't know. I'm going to roll and I damn it.
36:53
What the fuck man? I shoot 6, nothing.
36:56
I just plow blast like right next to him.
36:59
Actually, you know what? No, I'm not going to fucking do
37:01
that because I was supposed to shoot him last time.
37:02
I forgot my modifiers. I'm fucking up my modifiers this
37:05
time. I'm going to see if I can get
37:07
hazy up real quick. I'm going to put lay hands on
37:09
this motherfucker. Lay.
37:13
Hands, yeah, but it but it's not like Pathfinder lay hands.
37:16
It's like Mr. Miyagi, like I slapped my hands together and I
37:18
started rubbing them together like really, really, really hard
37:21
and then I flip hazy over and I grabbed both his butt cheeks
37:24
full handed. Just Squeeze and Hazy's back up.
37:28
Nice welcome. Welcome back to the party,
37:30
brother. I never thought he's really
37:32
jealous about all this attention I'm getting from you.
37:34
He probably is hazy. You're up, man.
37:38
You're awake. You're you're, you're prone.
37:40
But you can you can probably move and do something.
37:42
Can I like ninja roll away where he's not seeing since I'm a
37:46
sneaky guy and hit him in the back of the head with that axe?
37:50
You're trying to. There's nothing for you to sneak
37:52
behind that. We're kind of in an open area
37:54
here. You can sneak away, but unless
37:57
you want to like sneak around the table to the South, you
38:00
could try that. I'm not trying to walk right in
38:01
front of him. Feast the purpose.
38:04
You're already in front of him. Go to.
38:07
Yeah, you're right here in front of him.
38:08
Go to the east and then sneak around him like like this.
38:12
And then try it. You got to.
38:13
A nonchalant head walk around to the table and then quickly duck
38:17
down the cover. Sure, give me a sneak roll then.
38:22
I don't know what else I could do here, guys.
38:24
I'm really kind of clueless because.
38:26
I probably wouldn't have walked casually over there.
38:28
I would have tried to sneak off to it and what?
38:30
And staying in the prone position.
38:32
But let's see that sneak roll, baby.
38:35
Oh yeah, I'm going to give him. I'm going to.
38:37
I'm going to help him roll by looking, turning to you and
38:39
being like, who's that guy? What's he doing here?
38:41
There you go, 16. Toddie and I just kind of stand
38:44
up. We put our hands up real big,
38:46
like we're trying to be a distraction.
38:48
Yeah. The owl is very confused.
38:52
He we're treating like a bear. He's just looking back and forth
38:55
at Thoughty and I with our arms raised above our heads and all
38:58
of a sudden, boop hazy's gone. Where'd the clumsy one go?
39:06
What sort of dark magic is this? OK, thought it, your turn I
39:12
guess. OK, I'm going to.
39:15
No, I'm going to grapple this motherfucker.
39:19
Go for it, Grapple master. 15 yeah 15.
39:26
Is that with your +2? Yeah.
39:29
Oh well, you'd be a + 2 then a -, 2, right?
39:33
Wait, is that a strength modifier too?
39:37
Yeah, with your strength, but your grapple master was
39:39
specifically a + 2 as well. Yeah, the answer is 17.
39:43
Oh good, because you were not going to get it with a 15
39:46
thought. He grapples him.
39:47
You got him now. What's the damage for that one?
39:52
D6 initially and then. One after that if he can hold
39:57
it. And my initial D6 is a six.
40:01
Jesus, you squeeze this asshole like the lifeout of him.
40:05
He just kind of goes like you're throwing back shots at him and
40:08
you're like, whoa, simmer down, Sir.
40:11
But like he's just kind of not even like coherent anymore.
40:14
He's, he's like, his head's hanging low and he's just like
40:18
barely keeping his eyes open at us now.
40:21
All right, now is your guys's time to take advantage of this
40:25
out. We'll see.
40:27
No, now we're now what we're doing here.
40:29
So he's going to roll and see if he can break out of your grapple
40:31
master. Go ahead and give me a roll to
40:34
maintain your grapple master. With all of the well, not.
40:39
No, it's a. It's a straight D20 versus D20.
40:42
Check here. No strength modifier on that.
40:45
No, because his strength modifier is way higher than
40:47
yours. Oh, OK, 11.
40:50
Oh, he beats you. He breaks out of it and he
40:53
snatches me up by the neck and I'm like, what?
40:56
Why would he snatch you up? Because I'm the only thing in
40:59
front of him and he kind of turns around holding him on my
41:02
neck and I'm like stop, order, stop.
41:06
And he's tell, he starts telling you he's like.
41:09
Back off or I'll snap this drink's neck.
41:15
And I'm like spit in my mouth. You're more broken than I
41:23
thought. I knew it.
41:27
I knew it. Someone help me before I all
41:34
right. Well, now he kind of has
41:35
coverage because he's using me as a human shield, human meat
41:37
shield. He's not holding on to me very
41:40
tightly. I could probably get out of
41:41
this, if I'm being honest. I kind of, I'm kind of enjoying
41:43
the attention for being real. Oh, and I whatever I do it to
41:47
you, squirm away. It's just weird man, I don't
41:51
shit where I eat. Am I not hairy enough for you?
41:54
Is that what even beat others? You're not an eldritch horror
41:57
man. You don't.
41:58
You don't do it for me, Johnny. That's why you're in this line
42:02
of work, because they do it for you.
42:05
Yeah, man, You think I'm. You think I'm making money with
42:07
this? No, man, This is where I get my
42:08
kicks. God, no.
42:11
What a horrible way to find out. All right, so it is now.
42:17
I guess it's my turn. Hold on.
42:19
Oh, oh, baby. As he's holding on to me, I just
42:23
kind of look over at you guys and like that one kid that
42:26
pretended to drown in The Sandlot, I wink at you and then
42:28
I stick my pistol underneath this owl's head and I blow your
42:35
the absolute shit at his brains out of the back of his head just
42:39
and his body just drops limp to the ground.
42:42
And I'm just standing there with a really big red mark all around
42:45
my neck. Are you hard?
42:48
A little bit. OK, I'm going to run up and give
42:55
you a hug, Rick, real central like and be like, I'm so glad
42:58
you're OK. I'm.
42:59
Going to push you up and get off me freak I'm.
43:01
Trying to push his waist in as much as possible.
43:04
Get out of here. I'm instantly gone.
43:07
Thanks. All right.
43:10
What are we doing, gentlemen? Should probably find Baby Bird.
43:13
Well, I mean, combat's over, so you're kind of in charge again,
43:16
so. I'm kind of a passive fucking
43:19
player. I'm going to go to the van, damn
43:21
it. I'm going to put some owl on my
43:22
neck. This kind of hurts a little bit,
43:24
you guys. You guys look for the cursed
43:26
object real quick. Is it in the sewer?
43:29
I move back to the van tube, tube, tube tube tube tube.
43:34
While I'm doing that, what are you guys doing?
43:38
Investigate that owl man. Yeah, I'm going to search you
43:41
out man all. Right.
43:43
Both you give me investigation checks.
43:46
Are we still at our minus rules? Oh.
43:48
Shit. No, every.
43:50
Everything's calmed down. You guys are way more calm, cool
43:53
and collected now. This thing's dead so.
43:55
They're good to go 14 and. It's with the no.
44:00
What the hell is it going to be? No, it's just intelligence.
44:05
Smart. Fire so I got 18.
44:07
Very nice both of you. Don't find anything on the out
44:10
man. However you do notice he kind of
44:13
smells like shit. Like a sewage it's.
44:16
A fucking. Sewer bro Well, I mean you've
44:20
already been down there, so you want to go ahead and jump down
44:22
there and. Fine, I know I can't even begin
44:27
to talk you into going down there.
44:28
I mean, I do have night vision, I can see in the dark and all,
44:31
but you know, I'm not trying to do other you.
44:33
Should probably go down there. With him.
44:34
Then I, I, I come up the on the radio and I go, hey man, we're
44:39
going back into the shit pipe. You won't hear from us.
44:43
I go back over the radio. I'm like, all right, yeah, I'm
44:45
outside the wall, the fence, the the, the rest of the world is
44:49
back. So the owl man's definitely
44:50
dead. Just find that cursed object so
44:52
we can get the fuck out of here. Oh, we don't.
44:54
We don't want need to find. Maybe, maybe baby Bird will be
44:57
down there. We don't need to find baby Bird.
44:59
That's what I was gonna say. There's primary objectives,
45:01
there's secondary. I'm not saying which one baby
45:03
bird is, but we all know which one baby bird is.
45:08
OK, yeah, so I guess I hopped down into the sewer and the hole
45:11
in the floor. You go back to the main room,
45:13
hop down to the sewer. Hazy, what are you doing?
45:16
I'm following. All right, you follow them.
45:22
All right, both. You give me athletic checks to
45:24
jump in the sewer. I assure you, you don't have to
45:27
roll very high to fall into the hole. 15.
45:30
Good, because I got a fucking 4. All right, Toddy 15, you land
45:34
right in the sewer. Hazy, you fall on top of Thoddy
45:36
and then fall face first into the sewer.
45:38
So now Thoddy, who was once fully covered but is now kind of
45:42
dried off, hazy, you're fully covered.
45:44
I come over the radio and I go, Oh my God, guys, I found baby
45:47
Bird. He's in the van.
45:48
He's got the cursed object on him.
45:50
It was that feather. It was in his pocket when he
45:51
disappeared. I don't know why he's in the
45:53
van. Maybe he swapped places with me
45:55
whenever I came in. Sons of bitches, so.
45:59
You guys, you guys didn't jump in the sewer yet, did you?
46:02
I turn and I look at Hazy and I go, man, I'm gonna, I'm gonna
46:05
he's. Gonna, let's go give him a big
46:08
hug. Let's go get that hug.
46:09
Let's go get that hug right now, yeah?
46:11
Yeah, yeah, let's go give him a group hug.
46:12
I I just see you 2 trucking it to the courtyard, just slinging
46:15
shit off you and I start the van, I start backing it up real
46:17
quick. And that is today's episode.
46:20
Everyone eventually they get in the car a.
46:23
Couple miles now. Thanks for joining us.
46:26
Yeah, a couple miles down the road.
46:27
Happy Halloween, everyone. Hope you guys stay safe out
46:29
there. And yeah, watch out for those
46:30
owl men and them scaredy puss rolls.
46:32
Those will get you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
46:35
If I if I strange man comes up to you and asks you to roll AD
46:37
100, don't do. It sleep tight, little hunters.
46:45
I'll return when your courage runs thin.
46:53
Mission complete. Target neutralized.