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Transcript

Life Shifts · Infinitely Precious

• 0:00
  intro: Welcome to the infinitely precious podcast produced by infinitely precious LLC. Your host is James Henry. Remember, you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are.
• 0:12
  James: Hello, beloved. It's me, James, and welcome back to a second season of the Infinitely Precious podcast. I have missed the time I've had with you. I've enjoyed taking some time off though. I have enjoyed the opportunity to sit back and to ponder if the podcast would come back or not, if this was something that I, wanted to continue doing, spending my time doing, engaging with in this world in which we live.
• 0:45
  We always get choices about how we'll allocate our time and with all the changes that were happening in my life, it was a good question for me to ponder. If you're a first time listener, if this is a first time that you're with us, I want to say welcome to you. I'm delighted that you found us. I encourage you if you find meaning in this time to share it with your friends. I also invite you to write to me, infinitelypreciousllcgmail dot com, and let me know if there's a topic you want to hear something about.
• 1:25
  I can't promise that I'll have any good answers for you, but I certainly might have a response, some thoughts to share with you. So please feel free to use to use that form of being in touch. So, as I thought during this time of hiatus, what I originally thought would just be a month off, the month of June, became the month of June, then July, then August, and now it is September. Each month I pondered whether it was time for me to come back, if I was ready to come back, and the truth was I was still in that kind of in between space where I was learning so much in my new job as pastor at a different church that there were enough things going on that I wasn't sure I had something to add to the conversation, something to say. There were certainly a lot of things on my mind, but I wasn't prepared to share them yet.
• 2:31
  So today I thought I would take a moment to offer you some thoughts about transitions. And the reasons why I thought I would do that is because, of course, I just went through one, and it taught me some things. It taught me some things that I want to share that I felt like were worth sharing. So here I am potentially to share some of those thoughts with you. So thanks for joining me for this conversation, whether you're returning or whether this is your first time.
• 3:03
  So transitions, what can we learn from them? Well, first of all, I have to say to you that as the time came towards the transition, and this was a large transition in my life, it wasn't a subtle transition where suddenly I found myself in a new place. I knew from January on of this year, and we're in September, I knew from January on that, I was going to be moving from the job that I had. Now, not a whole lot of other people knew that, but my bishop had already called and, well, my district superintendent on behalf of the bishop had called to tell me I was going somewhere else. So I was already kind of in a transitional mindset.
• 3:53
  What can I do to best leave things where I was the best I could be as I moved on to a new place and how could I get up and running in a new place? What would it be like to change positions to move to a new place? And I do have to say that when you begin to ponder transitions, the bigger transitions in life, I was changing jobs and positions, I was moving from one house to another house, one parsonage owned by one church to the parsonage owned by another church, and in the midst of that my dad died. And there were all these little transitional pieces that were happening in that time. And so there was a sense of, chaos, a sense of fear occasionally, concern, questions about who I am and what I bring, would arise in the midst of that.
• 4:57
  And then there's just in the midst of transition, sometimes a sense of being tired. It's exhausting to pack boxes, to sort through the detritus of one's life, if you will. And so as we sorted and I gave away things that I had, and I repurposed things and threw some things away that were no longer any good, relocated some things that never belonged in the house to begin with, but somehow made it there during one of the transitions that the former church I served made from one building to another. So there were things in my possession that needed to go back there. So it was a time, it's a lot going on, and it can be emotionally overwhelming.
• 5:49
  So if you're in the midst of a transition, I don't have any super wise words that, oh, it's going to be okay. Because let me tell you, when you're in the midst of the transition, somebody telling you that doesn't help at all. It doesn't. It doesn't help all that much. In fact, you wonder if they really have any sense of what you're going through.
• 6:12
  So for yourself, in the midst of transition, I encourage you to, first of all, just catch your breath. Take a moment and step back. Breathe. Breathe and know you are not alone and that you too can make it through this time. Feel the feels that you're feeling and that's okay.
• 6:36
  So as I transitioned, I took some time in the midst of that to use a tool I have alluded to several times in this podcast and in others I have done and that is my journal. I use a journal on a regular basis. I sit down, sometimes I come with a question, sometimes I just free form write whatever comes to my mind for as long as I can, sometimes I ve just read something that was impactful and I copy down a quote and then I will write about how that quote impacted me. You can use a journal for so many things and in the midst of transition, I tried to use the journal to ask questions about what in my life I wanted to carry forward, What were the things this was an opportunity for me to change things up. Every aspect of my life I was well grounded in my faith, I had a sense of spirituality, my contemplative life seemed fairly solid, but I knew things were changing, and I could feel, this dis ease within about the changing.
• 7:49
  And so it was an opportunity to evaluate, Alright, well, what are the tools that I'm finding helpful in my life? The pieces, the way I practice my faith, the way I practice my spirituality. Are there pieces of it that I've just been doing because they're a habit? No, habits are not a bad thing necessarily, but am I doing it just because that's the way I've done it before? Are there some things that I might find useful to try and do differently?
• 8:22
  And so in the midst of those transitions, was trying to find my ground. So it was an opportunity to say what's important, what should I keep, what belongs with me on this journey going forward, just like I did with some of the personal pieces. It was an opportunity to kind of sort through all the feelings that come with transitions, the fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty. What is it that's causing me this fear? What's going on?
• 8:53
  It's an opportunity to get in touch. In the midst of those chaotic moments, we often find out who we are. So I asked what was important to carry forward, what needed to be left behind. It was also an opportunity for me to recognize that we don't have to go transitions all by ourselves, that there are a lot of people involved. Folks in my previous congregation, helping them transition, but having them help me as well set them some things up in place in the midst of my moving on.
• 9:32
  That was helpful. I had friends who regularly checked in on me to make sure I was okay. If you know someone who's going through a transition rather than tell them it's going to be okay, be like my friends. They just mostly listen just to check on me. How am I?
• 9:51
  How are you? How s it feeling? You ve been in the same place for three decades. What does it feel like to sort through all that stuff that you have piled up there? What does it feel like to leave?
• 10:01
  How are you doing with this transition? Do you need to grab coffee? Do you have time to grab coffee? And if you don't have time to grab coffee, maybe you really need to allocate some time to drink coffee anyway, just to sit down with me, find out how you're doing. You're not alone in these kinds of things.
• 10:23
  You can find support in your communities, you can find support among your friends, family, people who just want to be there to care about you. Transitions do not have to be a lonely journey. They can be ones that you make with other people because other people are there with you. So just remember, you know, to ask these kinds of questions. So I wanted to just kind of summarize for you some thoughts.
• 10:54
  Here are some questions to ask when you are in the midst of a transition. First of all, what am I afraid to leave behind? Whatever your answer is, it is okay. What are you afraid to leave behind? The second question might be, what feels essential to carry into what's happening in my life next?
• 11:30
  What feels like it's essential? Something that I can't just easily leave behind. What are the things that I want to carry into this? Be intentional about answering that question. You will learn in the midst of that to ask a third question and, you know, to test out the answer to it and this third question is who or what helps me to stay grounded during change?
• 12:07
  How in the midst of that, how does my spirituality help me do that? How do my, friend and family connections help me stay grounded? How does a practice that I have, walking in nature, taking a walk, taking a nap, catching your breath, taking a break to drink a cup of coffee, whatever it is, how, who or what helps me when things are changing, helps me stay grounded. I do encourage you to try to remember that transitions aren't just about loss, they also offer us possibilities to make new choices, to learn new things about ourselves, to maybe bring back to the fore some things that we haven t used in a long time, some new gifts or some dusty gifts that have been hidden, I encourage you to reframe your transition. Where are the potentials in the midst of this transition for growth, for creativity, where are the moments when you find joy in those transitional moments?
• 13:26
  Those are worth pondering, worth pondering. I don want to minimize transitions. It was not a minimal experience for me. I m still in the process, still in the process and there will still be moments when you might feel overwhelmed by it. Catch your breath, feel the feels that you feel.
• 13:47
  S okay. It s okay. If you need to talk to somebody, reach out, talk to someone, but hopefully you ve got people in your life that will check on you in the midst of those transition. So if you are in the midst of transition as I was, make some decisions, make some choices, discover the things that you want to keep, the things that perhaps you should leave behind, and if you are like me, you will discover some things you definitely want to keep. After hearing from a couple of folks, when are you going to start the podcast again, I realized this was something I didn't want to leave behind, I wanted to keep.
• 14:23
  In this new format, s going to happen once a week instead of twice a week like before, until I get my feet under me and then we will reevaluate. But for right now, once a week, bring you some thoughts. If you re new again, welcome, delighted to have you. If you re an old friend who s been listening for a while, great to have you back and always, always remember, you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are. Thanks for joining me today and I look forward to next week, until then.