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Lift or Level: The Daily Choice That Shapes Your Life · More Than Before

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  Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of More Than
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  Before. I'm Nathan Cook.
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  I'm excited to spend some time with you today as we jump into
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  our topic today. Hey, let me ask you, are you a
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  lifter or are you a leveller? You're one of the two.
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  You're either someone that likes to lift people or you're someone
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  that likes to level them out, whether that's with a a firm
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  word or whether that's hopefully not physically.
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  But there really are two types of people in the world and you
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  got to choose what it is that you're going to be.
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  Are you a person that lifts other people, that lifts
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  yourself up, or are you the type of person that levels other
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  people and levels yourself? And when I say level, I don't
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  mean that kind of perfection level where you're trying to get
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  it perfect. I mean, the level of a building
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  where you destroy it, where you decimate it.
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  Because here's what I know. You and I, we have opportunities
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  every single day to lift or level other people.
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  I hope that you'd lift other people every single chance you
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  get. So let me give you 3 areas where
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  you can focus on of whether you're lifting or you're
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  leveling people. Number one, are you lifting or
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  leveling yourself? What are the things that you say
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  to yourself? Are you an uplifting person?
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  Do you speak good things about you or are you negative?
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  Are you negative, constantly focused on the bad things about
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  you? Or maybe you focus on things
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  that aren't even bad about you, but you constantly put yourself
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  down. You use a lot of self
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  deprecating humor. Here's what I know coming from
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  experience. The more you speak I'll of
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  yourself, the more I'll you actually become.
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  Because here's where everything starts.
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  Everything starts up in our mind.
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  It starts where you think. And from that point it goes into
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  one of two places. It goes into the way that you
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  speak or goes into the way that you act.
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  Now here's what I believe. I believe it starts with the
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  thought and eventually makes it way its way out into a word,
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  into a sentence, into a sentiment that comes out of your
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  lips. And if you speak it enough, then
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  it becomes something that you embody in your own life.
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  Now you may not be speaking I'll about yourself in front of other
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  people, but maybe in the quiet of your home, maybe in the quiet
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  of your room, you say things that you would never say to
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  someone else. You say them to yourself.
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  Can I encourage you to stop talking that way to yourself?
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  Stop leveling yourself out and start lifting yourself up.
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  Now. This isn't a prideful thing.
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  I don't want you to get prideful.
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  Hey, you know I'm the most amazing thing.
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  No, I'm just saying stop leveling yourself and lowering
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  yourself because here's what I do know.
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  You will rise to that level of thought, meaning you'll never
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  outperform your own self-image. If you think that you're a bad
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  husband or a bad wife, guess what?
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  You're going to show up in life trying to prove that correct.
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  If you think you're a bad cook, you're going to show up and
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  you're going to meet that expectation.
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  If you think I'm bad at sales, I can't have a relationship, I'll
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  never have kids, A fill in the blank of what you believe you
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  are not and what you can't do, you will rise to that level.
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  You'll never outperform your own self-image.
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  So first of all, what are you saying to yourself?
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  Are you lifting or leveling? Second of all, what are you
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  saying to other people? Are you lifting or leveling
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  other people? As we go about our life, we
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  interact with so many people in our day we don't even think
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  about it. As we go out of our house we see
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  our neighbors. Are you lifting them or leveling
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  them? Are you speaking good words over
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  them or are you speaking negative words?
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  Are you speaking good things to your spouse, to your kids, to
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  your parents, to your friends, to your coworkers, to the person
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  that you meet in line behind you while you're going to the
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  grocery store? Are you speaking life or are you
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  leveling them down? It is easy to level people in
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  our life. You see, I didn't know that I
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  was leveling my wife for a long time because we would go in to
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  cook in the kitchen and she'd start cutting something.
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  I'd say, hey, you know, if you don't want to cut your finger,
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  you could do it this way. Or maybe the measurement was
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  slightly off and I would say, hey, you know what, if you used
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  grams, you measured out the grams.
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  We have these really nice scales that I got.
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  You know, if we, if you did that, it'd be consistent every
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  single time and you'd be able to make these micro improvements
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  and adjustments. You see, to me, I thought I was
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  helping her, but what I was actually doing, I wasn't
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  helping, I was hurting, I wasn't lifting her up.
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  I was actually leveling her down.
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  Now that doesn't mean that you can't give correction and
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  feedback to people, but there is something about understanding
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  whether or not that person feels and thinks that you are lifting
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  them or that you are leveling them.
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  What do you do? What is your common go to?
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  Are you the negative Nancy that comes in the room and has
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  something negative to say? Or do you have something
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  positive, encouraging, uplifting and edifying for other people to
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  listen to? Now, we don't always have to be
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  positive. There's a time for correction.
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  There's a time for feedback. But can I encourage you like I'm
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  encouraging myself As I look at my own life, I want to be
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  someone that lifts others. When I see my kids do something
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  that's boneheaded and it happens a lot, I don't want to be the
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  person that levels them out. I want to be the person that
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  comes in and says, hey, I love what you did here, but here's
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  what we could do differently. Are you a lifter or a leveler
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  with other people specifically, directly, meaning when you're
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  directly interacting with them? That goes to our Third Point
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  here. The Third Point is, are you
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  lifting or leveling people when they're not around?
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  You know what I'm talking about, the gossipers, people that like
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  to talk behind other people's back.
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  My wife and I, because we've been doing marriage coaching for
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  a while, one of the things that we find is it's really easy to
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  be in groups of other people and those people will dog on their
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  spouse, meaning they'll say negative things about their
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  spouse when they're not around. I always want to speak life
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  about my wife, how amazing she is, how great she is with her
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  kids, how hard she works. And you know what I hear from
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  other guys, Not a lot of other guys.
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  I know quite a few good guys that actually lift their wives
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  up. But I have been around guys that
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  level their wives when they're not there.
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  I've been around women who level their husbands when they're not
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  there. Do you level people when they're
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  not in the room or do you lift and elevate them?
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  I hope you lift and elevate them.
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  So you have three different people that you're talking to
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  you, you're talking to yourself might be insane, kind of like
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  me. You have the people that you're
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  specifically directly talking to every day and you have the
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  people that you speak about when they're not around.
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  James chapter 3 verse 2 says for we all stumble in many ways and
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  if anyone doesn't stumble in what he says, he is a perfect
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  man able to bridle his whole body.
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  That is so powerful. Understand that that if you can
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  control your tongue, you control your entire body, but how do you
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  control your tongue? You control what you think.
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  That's a lot harder to control what you think.
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  So to all starts with a thought and he continues on and I love
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  the two examples he gives. He gives the example of a ship
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  that is powerful, that is pushed by the wind.
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  It's steered by a small little rudder on the back of the boat,
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  and the tongue is like that rudder.
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  But what I also love is, he says that the tongue is also like a
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  small spark in a forest that sets a whole forest ablaze.
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  Now there's one of two ways that you can set something ablaze.
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  It's either controlled, that's in a way that's beneficial, that
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  lifts and helps, or the other way is it's destructive and out
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  of control. Your tongue today, my tongue
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  today. Are we speaking fire into people
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  that warms their heart and encourages them to keep moving
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  forward? Or are we speaking words that
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  spark a fire uncontrolled inside of someone that burns their life
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  to the ground? It all comes with
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  intentionality. When you're stocking a fire, do
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  you have it in a place where it's safe, where it's
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  controlled? Do you have the right timber?
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  There are a lot of things that go into the aspect of what we
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  say, what we think. If you can control your tongue,
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  then you can control your entire body.
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  Now, it's very difficult to do that.
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  We're all going to make mistakes.
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  We're all going to fall short. I do it every single day.
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  But here's what I do now is that if you want to have more than
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  before, you have to examine the fruit of your mouth.
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  What is coming out of your mouth?
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  Is the fruit that you speak, Is it sweet?
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  Is it edifying? Is it nourishing?
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  Or is the fruit that you speak sour?
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  Is it bitter? Is it like Gull?
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  Does it taste horrible? The more you speak something,
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  the more you see it around you. Catch that?
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  The more you speak something, the more you see it around you.
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  You're going to find what you're looking for.
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  What are you speaking to? Your friends?
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  What are you speaking to your coworkers?
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  What are you speaking to? Your spouse?
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  What are you speaking to? The person that's at the gas
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  station, what are you speaking to?
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  The homeless person that you meet on the street, The neighbor
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  that you run into, Are you speaking to Lift or are you
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  speaking to Level? I hope you're speaking to Lift
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  and if you're not, I encourage you to start to examine the
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  fruit of what comes out of your mouth and to start to plant the
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  seeds in your mind that will eventually start to produce,
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  produce that will serve the people that you speak into.
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  So choose to speak life, lift others, and start experiencing
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  more than before. I hope you enjoyed this episode.
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  Share this, like this and leave me a comment.
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  I'd love to know what you think. Are you a lifter?
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  Are you a leveler? What kind of fruit do you have?
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  Until next time, remember to be more and see more and experience
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  more than before.