Latest / This is Not Art Therapy (The Podcast) / Episode 7: Connection

Transcript

Episode 7: Connection · This is Not Art Therapy (The Podcast)

0:06
Shake out that spaghetti energy. We're ready
0:08
for the podcast. What is spaghetti energy? Wobbly
0:14
and entangled. So emotional and just splattered
0:18
all over the place. You could throw it on the
0:19
kitchen wall if you wanted. I love this. Yeah.
0:22
And you'll know if it's ready, if it sticks.
0:25
Yeah. Right on. What a great intro. Way to start
0:31
off our show. Let's do it. John, my colleague.
0:34
co -host and spaghetti man. They call me the
0:38
spaghetti man. So Linnea, an art therapist and
0:42
good friend. And spaghetti eater. Spaghetti eater,
0:45
eater of spaghetti. Yeah, right on. Okay, cool,
0:48
cool. Eat up those nerves. Let's get this thing
0:50
going. Welcome back, everyone. Today's episode
0:54
is about connection. Episode seven. Yeah. Theme
0:59
for this episode was inspired by knowing that
1:04
there are people all around the world who now
1:06
listen to this podcast. Seeing the little red
1:09
dots on the map of where everyone lives. Very
1:12
cool. So sick. And it's not just our friends
1:15
anymore and Nancy. Although she's our number
1:18
one fan as of that. She's listened to every episode.
1:21
So shout out to Nance. We should make her a bracelet
1:24
too. We could make her a bracelet. We'll make
1:27
you a bracelet. Hear that, Nance? Yeah. Being
1:29
held accountable. Yeah, we should put up the
1:32
map on our Instagram page. Oh, that's a good
1:35
idea. Yeah. I can do that. Pretty neat. Cool.
1:38
So did you want to go over what we got to start
1:40
up with? Yeah. So art invitations for this week.
1:45
We have the circle of support. So create a visual
1:49
that represents the people, places, and things
1:51
that keep you feeling supported. The second one
1:54
is connection collage, which is the thing I did.
1:57
which we'll go over later. Create something that
2:00
expresses the felt sense of mutual connection
2:02
and how deep does it go? Last one is the bridge
2:06
between us. Create a bridge that symbolizes the
2:09
path between you and someone you care about.
2:11
What holds the bridge up? What flows beneath
2:14
it? John, did you make some art? I did make some
2:18
art. I call this one, Nobody Kills Me But Me.
2:23
The visual is a man riding a shark. um he's a
2:28
cowboy he's throwing his hat off to the side
2:30
and he's got some spurs and some uh he's got
2:34
a cool little cowboy outfit as well as we're
2:37
dry he's riding a great white shark so he's got
2:41
some sweet flow and i went to go show the easel
2:45
or basically big piece of paper to linea but
2:49
realized i could not show it but we will put
2:51
it up on the pod we will put it up on the instagram
2:54
um does it have any like i kind of assume that
2:59
the piece relates to with regards to connection
3:02
oh does it are we gonna find a way yeah yeah
3:08
it does have a way for the connection so i i
3:11
also make t -shirts on the side as well as uh
3:13
just drawing with pens and uh so this one i've
3:17
done a lot of t -shirts for other companies,
3:19
but I haven't really done anything for myself.
3:21
And I found with t -shirts, that was a great
3:24
way to connect in my community. I've moved around
3:26
a bunch. And when I came up here, it just was
3:30
a good way to sort of get myself ingratiated
3:32
in the community, meet people who are kind of
3:35
like -minded, athletes, business owners, entrepreneurs.
3:39
And it's been really exciting to see it. So this
3:41
one, I think for my community, I think it's just,
3:45
it's kind of just a shout out to just... my own
3:48
thing and seeing who really wants uh you know
3:50
to support or just if they actually like some
3:53
of my art so it's about time to start putting
3:55
on some clothes I would definitely wear that
3:57
t -shirt yeah yeah yeah it made me curious of
4:01
the t -shirt making process like what's the process
4:04
of getting that drawing that's now on paper to
4:07
onto a t -shirt because I only really know how
4:10
to embroider things yeah uh so that's it's a
4:13
it's a process called silk screening and uh with
4:15
that we have to do something have to make cast
4:17
mold and it's with use you use photo emulsion
4:20
which basically means that you're going to take
4:23
the image and burn it into another image on a
4:27
screen uh so that basically the paint can come
4:31
through that image in reverse it's it's a hard
4:34
process but we could just whip up some of those
4:36
on the instagram if people want to see it so
4:38
cool yeah so do you would you upload the picture
4:42
of your drawing and then like digify it yeah
4:46
we have to do some digital stuff and that's where
4:48
my buddy kyle comes in because he's very good
4:50
at computers and i am not shout out to kyle yeah
4:54
okay cool yeah um do we want to go over my art
4:58
did i i think i sent you a picture but i will
5:00
show it to you again yeah it's got honeybees
5:05
on it and i i also wrote notes on the back honey
5:09
they're very communal creature They buzz around.
5:12
They have this hive mind. And as I came up with
5:17
this theme last week, I was trying to intentionally
5:20
be connection minded. These little honeybees
5:23
were inspiring me to stay connected. I can be
5:26
very introverted. Nothing wrong with being introverted.
5:30
I love my alone time, but I also know that as
5:33
a human, I need to intentionally connect with
5:35
people because maybe I get a little too hermity,
5:39
but that's up for debate. So the last week I've
5:42
been intentionally trying to make meaningful
5:44
connections with people. It really helped. My
5:46
best friend was in town and we got a lot of connecting
5:48
and I might've over -connected by the end of
5:50
the night when I was just like, I just want to
5:52
go home because it's late and it's dark and it's
5:54
also bright and it's loud, but we made it through.
5:59
Bees are also really good at communicating. They
6:01
communicate through dance. And I think connection
6:03
and communication kind of go hand in hand. So
6:05
I wanted to capture that. I also have this like
6:09
in the collage, there's this family portrait,
6:11
all the faces cut out. This family picture represents
6:14
all families or all people like without the faces,
6:18
you can just impose your own face, I guess. kind
6:20
of where I was going at. Someone did say it reminded
6:23
them of what psychopaths make in art. And we
6:27
had a good laugh about it. That's pretty sweet.
6:30
I assure you, I'm not a psychopath. We'll find
6:34
that out in good time. Not a psycho. Right on.
6:37
Do you want to start questions off? Do you want
6:39
me to start it off? Oh, sure. Yeah. Like, what
6:41
does connection really mean for you? Oh, dear.
6:45
I think there's like an aspect of meaningfulness
6:49
to it. I think there's, I think curiosity has
6:53
to be embedded in it all because I find, and
6:56
when I think connection, I immediately think
6:58
in person. And I think that probably doing myself
7:02
a disservice because I know we are with the worldwide
7:05
super highway of the internet and social media.
7:08
We are so connected to everyone, but I find that
7:12
the most meaningful and intimate connections
7:15
I have with people are generally done face to
7:17
face. So I kind of honor that, but also value
7:23
that we, you know, there's sometimes, you know,
7:27
if our best friend lives on the other side of
7:29
the country, we still have to stay connected
7:30
with them somehow. And we can't FaceTime them
7:33
all day, unfortunately. I'm a huge fan of phone
7:37
calls when it comes to keeping it connected,
7:39
though. I think that it's really important to
7:43
just hear a voice and not just. and lose something
7:48
so badly in text versus uh like tone like that's
7:52
huge right like you're actually hearing somebody
7:55
like and people can misread things because i
7:57
misread things all the time and i had to use
8:00
all all the stuff to just basically uh you know
8:03
make sure i'm doing the right things when i'm
8:05
when i'm sending text messages or receiving them
8:07
i use talks to text and text to speech and that's
8:10
helped me uh help me out so much um but yeah
8:14
i think like you're saying yeah like communication
8:18
like with people from all over the world like
8:20
phones and computers it's it's so nice to actually
8:24
have that now yeah yeah and you're you're right
8:27
in that if it's just text there's so much that
8:31
is missed yeah you can even use as many emojis
8:34
but the tone like so there's text is so up to
8:39
interpretation at times oh i've been told i'm
8:42
so bad at text people think they're like, do
8:44
you not like me? I'm like, no, what do you mean?
8:46
You're a very direct communicator. And I have
8:49
also been fearful of like, oh, why do you want
8:51
to call me right now? It's like, no, no. I'm
8:54
like, it's like, what are you, my grandparent
8:56
calling? It's just, you get a better vibe out
8:58
of it. Like, I just feel like it's just so much
9:01
more meaningful when you're calling or you're
9:03
seeing somebody face to face. And I've been trying
9:06
to sort of. distance myself a little bit from
9:09
social media and kind of just be more present
9:10
in my every day and I find feel sad because some
9:14
of my friends that I've been really super connected
9:16
with online like I feel like we're kind of missing
9:19
a piece when it comes to that like and it's not
9:23
that I've stepped back but I guess I have stepped
9:25
back but it's just I wouldn't know I'm just trying
9:29
to find more of my every day you know kind of
9:32
love that you're saying that because You have
9:35
actually been an inspiration or at least a gentle
9:38
reminder when I am cruising on social media of
9:42
like, oh, this is something that I know I should
9:45
be mindful of. And it's really hard to find that
9:48
balance of staying connected with people while
9:50
also staying connected with yourself. Yeah. In
9:53
that I think we can lose ourselves when we're
9:55
just mindlessly scrolling. You're comparing your
9:58
life. And it's like, that's just like the best
10:00
part of somebody's life. They're showing. the
10:02
best moments and like that's not everyone's every
10:05
day and some people can post and there's going
10:07
to be people that you see that are posting like
10:09
big vacations cars whatever and it's just it's
10:13
it's not real you know like i think it just isn't
10:18
right like that's like the one percenters who
10:20
are really living like that and for like you
10:23
know joe blow who's like listening to this like
10:25
you know washing dishes or doing whatever like
10:28
that's not us and that's not but it's like be
10:32
thoughtful and just mindful of like you enjoy
10:35
in your day -to -day and with your people that
10:37
are actually near you i hear that like authenticity
10:41
is kind of the word that you draw from that in
10:45
that social media might not be people's authentic
10:48
selves no i i'd say it probably isn't most people's
10:53
authentic self you can't get the best out of
10:55
like my buds basically like they're terrible
10:58
on social media and they take terrible pictures
11:01
of themselves like it's just all grainy and like
11:03
it's nothing's really polished but you'd be like
11:06
oh this person's a slob by their by their instagram
11:08
like it's not together but then when you meet
11:10
them in real life you're like oh dude you you've
11:12
got it together like your whole life is is is
11:15
good outside of here you know so they're not
11:17
paying any mind you know I also like what you
11:21
brought up in the art in that connection. Well,
11:23
you brought up kind of both. I know there's more
11:25
than two types of connection, but this communal
11:28
connection with your art and how. T -shirt making,
11:31
your art has really helped you connect yourself
11:34
with other people. And now this commitment to,
11:37
no, I want to start making stuff for myself because
11:40
you are such a person who will do so much for
11:42
other people. Oh, thank you. Viewers, listeners,
11:45
you might not know this, but John will give you
11:48
the shirt off his back. He is big golden retriever
11:52
energy, very friendly. Thank you. Although you
11:56
do look very scary at times. oh man i don't know
12:00
how to take compliments well so that's gonna
12:04
be that awkward pause that emily's gonna have
12:05
to fix up uh yeah i i just uh oh community and
12:10
just all this stuff is just so important for
12:13
us and connectivity right so like you got to
12:16
just take it where you can i think you also again
12:20
i bring up our dynamics you have this like extroverted
12:23
i want to share with other people this confidence
12:26
that i dream of one day having um of just to
12:31
like want to share and be open with other people
12:34
and i think i bring the black cat energy don't
12:36
touch me or i'll bite you this sentiment yeah
12:40
kind of diet but I I swear once you start doing
12:45
it it's like exposure therapy once you start
12:47
being like hey I got a podcast you're like you
12:49
can just be like hey bud I got a podcast for
12:52
you something something just you know but like
12:55
whereas me I'm like hey dudes we're number two
12:57
in uh Slovenia Was it Slovenia? It is. Yeah.
13:01
It's like, heck yes, Slovenia. For like one whole
13:04
week in our category of art. It's a very niche
13:06
thing. We're number two. We're number two. We're
13:10
number two. Like my shot was like, heck yes,
13:12
Slovenia. So if there's enough of you listening,
13:16
we might come and visit you. And bring some art
13:19
supplies maybe. Yeah, absolutely. Have you ever
13:23
had a moment where like you met someone and you
13:25
just instantly felt this deep connection with
13:28
them? Yeah. like i guess it's like a sometimes
13:31
it's like a flash in the pan what kind of connection
13:33
like a romantic one it's like it could be sometimes
13:36
like you get that instant you're like we're on
13:39
the same vibe so yeah i i love those um i remember
13:44
uh so so alexander uh me and him just kind of
13:49
got along like a house on fire i moved to a new
13:52
place in new brunswick i wasn't having a great
13:55
time i didn't love my job i didn't like where
13:57
i was living and uh he was just a dude who was
14:00
at work with me and we just kind of got along
14:02
with the same energy we would often kind of have
14:06
a lot of inside jokes like the rick and morty
14:08
like i i don't know if you guys have seen these
14:11
scenes but it's basically the first couple episodes
14:13
they're just like yes my man and like that's
14:16
like this computer's working at one percent and
14:19
it's just fooling jerry so we just were like
14:22
we were working at what we thought was like one
14:24
percent but everybody thought we were good at
14:26
our jobs so we would be like yes and like i did
14:29
that to i did that to one of our guys who was
14:31
my boss at the time and he was like all right
14:34
cool and like he just went off and uh and then
14:37
my uh but my buddy was like fucking jerry so
14:40
he was like and i was like you got the joke before
14:43
we and that was and i was like we have got something
14:45
here and yeah i like exploring that but what
14:48
about yourself so there's this like connection
14:51
of shared interests yeah yeah um i the first
14:56
thing that came to mind is when i met my best
14:58
friend Which isn't really how I met her because
15:01
we went to the same elementary school, middle
15:03
school and high school together. And like relatively
15:06
small schools. We grew up maybe like a kilometer
15:08
or two away from each other, but we were not
15:10
friends. We might've even been on the same rugby
15:12
team. Cool. We did not become friends until we
15:15
randomly connected in Vancouver. I saw her walking
15:19
down the street and I was cleaning a table at
15:21
a restaurant on a patio. And we made eye contact
15:23
and we're like, oh, we know each other. Yeah.
15:27
And then fast forward to a few weeks later, I
15:30
had to move out of my studio apartment because
15:31
I could not afford to live alone in Vancouver
15:34
anymore. Surprise, surprise. And I had found
15:36
this really cool two bedroom apartment, but I
15:38
needed a roommate. She randomly messaged me being
15:40
like, oh, hey, I know you're artsy. I'm actually
15:45
looking for a new roommate. need a roommate and
15:47
I was just like I literally just found an apartment
15:50
and we decided we're gonna hang out and have
15:53
nachos and just like do a little vibe check and
15:55
see if we could get along and I think we met
15:57
probably around lunch and we ended up spending
16:00
the whole day together and we did we went to
16:03
a weird puppet show and by the end of the day
16:06
we're like yeah we're doing this we're moving
16:07
in together this is perfect and we've been best
16:09
friends ever since essentially but there's just
16:12
sometimes you meet people and it's like synergetically
16:15
it's beautiful you just connect and you're like
16:17
yeah this is gonna work we've got what we need
16:21
right now yeah I think it might have had something
16:24
to do with the timing you know you're in a new
16:25
town by yourselves and you're like it's a nice
16:27
familiarity and you guys are on the same sort
16:30
of wavelength and yeah it's a great way to make
16:33
friends yeah and it's this like complimentary
16:35
thing like I don't think I could always hang
16:38
out with people who are just like me oh No, you
16:41
shouldn't do that. You shouldn't hang out with
16:43
just yourself. Too many Linneas in one room.
16:46
There's not too many Linneas in any room. In
16:49
fact, there's one and only Linnea that I know.
16:52
So I've never met another one. For now. For now.
16:55
How can you tell a connection is healthy and
16:59
supportive? Or vice versa, how can you tell when
17:02
it's unhealthy and unsupportive? So I think for
17:07
just... like a healthy supportive thing is it's
17:10
just having an ear. that's open sometimes or
17:13
like you might have heard me bitch about the
17:16
same things over and over and over again but
17:18
you're like huh i've told you the solutions but
17:20
i'm here for you i got you and uh i think that's
17:24
like like the sign of a good healthy relationship
17:26
is it's give and take but like kind of like you
17:29
said i think i have that golden retriever energy
17:32
of just kind of being like yeah i'm here to help
17:34
here to help here to help but then sometimes
17:36
that's been taken advantage of in the past whereas
17:39
like i think that um we just so like it's just
17:44
starting to recognize that and as i've gotten
17:46
older i've just been like okay this person's
17:48
just using you for help or labor or whatnot or
17:50
you know just time or rides and then you can
17:54
either like that basically is something that
17:57
i've been working on to try and figure out you
18:00
know what I'm saying like there's gotta be a
18:01
little bit more give and take so if it's just
18:04
take take take then for me that's my yeah but
18:08
also find that I've been really and I don't know
18:10
if it's just the line of work that I'm in because
18:13
I do hold space for a lot of people yeah and
18:16
a lot of my daytime energy or nighttime, I guess,
18:19
because I work at night, energy gets spent for
18:21
these people. And I absolutely love my job, but
18:24
I have to be really mindful of the friendships
18:26
that I do choose to keep in my life because of
18:29
that give and take thing. If I feel like a conversation
18:32
with a friend feels like work to me, I don't
18:37
know if I'm going to readily call that person
18:40
and want to hang out every weekend. Yeah, I know.
18:42
It's somebody who helps you feel recharged. Yes,
18:46
that's it. That's it. And back to what happened
18:49
over the weekend as social, I had been like,
18:52
I did the amount of socializing I would normally
18:54
do in like three months over the span of one
18:57
weekend. Okay. But I didn't feel exhausted. I
19:01
was like, it's going to take the years to recover
19:02
from this, but I felt fine the next day. And
19:05
if anything, like I felt recharged and I was
19:07
like, oh yeah, it's because this is what the
19:10
kind of energy that my best friend gives me.
19:12
And I don't think that. And maybe this is just
19:14
for me. I don't think that comes easily for all
19:18
people in my life. No, I mean, it's, it's, we're
19:21
all built different, right? Like there's like,
19:23
there's unique people out there that are for
19:26
you, you know, like that might not be everybody's
19:28
cup of tea, but that's yours. And that's totally
19:30
fine. Find like, I, one of my. things is that
19:34
i me and my uncle we call each other a lot and
19:37
uh it's been really nice like been through some
19:39
things i've been through some things and we just
19:41
have that nice sort of like okay i can chat and
19:44
it's like sort of like a coaching mentor kind
19:46
of deal it's like the way it kind of feels like
19:48
with that and you know i also have my friends
19:51
who from like from the past in the army and like
19:54
we do talk And it feels good, right? To just
19:58
kind of be like, all right, that all happened
20:00
to us. Cool. You know, because it's like, you
20:03
can't just bring that energy to everybody. Then
20:07
you would end up, no one can relate and you would
20:09
just be feeling alone, you know? So it's just,
20:13
I feel like I have chapters of my life. I don't
20:15
know if that makes any sense. Like just friendship
20:18
chapters of like, because if you keep moving,
20:21
right? Like I have been. oh this like shared
20:24
experience that can bring us together shared
20:27
experiences that bring us together and like it
20:30
can be dark shit like the military is not known
20:33
for its happy -go -lucky fairy tales attitudes
20:38
yeah yeah it's i don't know i think it it's it's
20:42
funny some of my friends have like we talk about
20:45
my old unit um they are very negative about it
20:49
and uh i And I don't want to ever sound like
20:53
a company man, but I'm glad that I went with
20:56
them because we all experienced stuff together
21:00
and we all became better for it in a way. Not
21:03
everything was good, but there was a lot of bad
21:05
and good. And that's all kind of helps us mesh
21:10
and meld better, you know? So like I found that
21:14
with those experiences, I basically, it's rare.
21:18
So I appreciate the ones that I do have. I think
21:21
that's such a crucial part of healing is that
21:25
communal aspect. And I think it's harder to heal
21:29
in isolation, but it can be done. But I think
21:33
if you can connect with other people through
21:35
a shared experience and work through that, and
21:38
you know, you're in that room together, whatever
21:40
it is, and there's that felt sense of like, oh,
21:42
this person gets it. I think there's magic in
21:45
that. It's a nice familiarity. Got it. Yeah,
21:52
it is special. It's very special to have. Do
21:57
you have ways that you prefer to connect with
21:59
people? Like you mentioned on the phone, like
22:02
in person, do you have a preferred method of
22:04
peopling? I like one -on -one and I like one
22:08
-on -one and face -to -face. Hey, wow. That's
22:10
intimidating. I know. It's like a job interview.
22:13
No, I'm just going to make direct eye contact
22:16
for the next hour. Yes. Give me all of your attention.
22:20
So that's, that's maybe, maybe that's why I like
22:23
it. We're just, it feels like I can see you.
22:26
I got your face for reacting. I think that something
22:28
that COVID made me appreciate even more. So like,
22:32
I was like, once we stopped that, uh, we basically,
22:35
uh, I was just like, this is exactly what it
22:38
meant. Because during COVID, I really felt like
22:40
everybody suffered. But I just felt like for
22:44
the extroverts out there, they suffered immensely.
22:48
They're just like, I'm so used to peopling that
22:50
I can't do that anymore. You have to rethink
22:53
how you people. Yeah, exactly. I like to do crafts
22:58
with people or share crafts with people in my
23:02
business and in my life. if you know I'll do
23:05
a lot of art -based support groups or art -based
23:07
groups in general but also if my friends are
23:10
hanging out I'd be like do we want to make some
23:12
art I find that it gives us something to focus
23:17
on I personally get a little distracted when
23:20
I talk to people if we're not doing crafts we're
23:24
not like not doing an activity find making art
23:27
really helps me stay focused like even today
23:29
I had class all day and I was puttering around
23:32
with different projects and whatnot so it helps
23:35
me get engaged plus there's that magic of making
23:38
art with other people which I really feed off
23:40
of plus there's never a time where I don't really
23:42
feel like making art especially lately the last
23:45
few months I've just like always wanted to make
23:47
art just being in the zone with it I get I get
23:51
what you mean by uh just doing things with other
23:53
people like me and uh me and Anita do a lot of
23:57
gardening and like she can when she's like in
24:00
the kitchen and cooking and doing all that stuff
24:02
she's a wonderful cook i like to draw you know
24:05
because like that's my time that i feel like
24:07
that's really good because we got a lot of good
24:09
music i don't understand all of it because i'm
24:11
trying to work on my spanish but getting better
24:13
at it so it's it's just a good vibe with that
24:15
so to just be around and doing things a shared
24:18
task and completing things does feel great you
24:20
know yes They talk about the five love languages
24:24
that that guy came up with from like the sixties,
24:27
but shared experiences might be one of them.
24:31
Oh my goodness. I'm really shared experiences.
24:33
Quality time maybe is the other way of putting
24:36
it. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Physical touch, gift
24:40
giving and affirmation. Thank you. Yes. There
24:44
we go. Yeah, you're good. Thank you. Thank you
24:47
very much. That was my word of affirmation for
24:50
you. Thank you. So now I'm going to just, you
24:52
know, go into a shell. Maybe we should just have
24:56
an episode where. Just take compliments from
24:59
our viewers and we have to read them to you.
25:01
And it's exposure therapy, which I've heard you're
25:03
familiar with. Yeah, I know. Maybe we could do
25:06
that. Maybe we could not do that, Linnea. Our
25:09
compliment episode might be pretty short. It
25:12
might just be we have my mom on. Hear that, Nancy?
25:16
You're invited. Yeah, I love that. What is a
25:22
sign that you need to disconnect from someone?
25:27
oh i think it's almost when you're feeling for
25:30
me feeling used uh might be a thing like when
25:34
you're noticing something isn't really giving
25:36
back uh uh you might just find like energy it's
25:41
into your energy oh yeah like i had uh i had
25:44
an experience with a friend um i'm not gonna
25:47
name names on this one um but they uh so for
25:51
a he was quite a wise person and had a very high
25:56
paying job and like was very respected and like
25:59
but we were friends from a very young age and
26:01
uh we kind of had a good connect with each other
26:04
and uh every time i got off the phone with him
26:07
i felt like i was going a little bit crazy which
26:10
sounds weird like i was like am i in the wrong
26:12
for these types of things or whatnot it's like
26:15
i'd be telling him regular things and this guy
26:18
would be telling me we could make connections
26:20
in business but we can do these types of uh like
26:23
moves and like i'm really trying my best to dance
26:26
around and not get into particulars but this
26:29
person basically it turned out that they were
26:33
schizophrenic and they were putting the like
26:35
like i would be throwing out these like suggestions
26:38
and stuff like that and like but i was like i
26:41
know they have this job but it had turned out
26:43
that they had just basically made and painted
26:45
a complete world like it wasn't real none of
26:49
it was real and i had been talking to this person
26:51
for like a year so that makes me super careful
26:54
with people now okay yeah so mental health is
26:58
real it is real i i feel very bad for them um
27:03
and it's just healthily i just basically had
27:06
to kind of step away because like i had known
27:09
them for a long time and not that person basically
27:12
uh had schizophrenia with i think what is it
27:17
it was like psycho induced like marijuana this
27:20
kind of stuff like basically like he's smoking
27:22
cannabis induced psychosis yeah so that's what
27:25
was happening with him and i didn't realize it
27:29
until things started getting really really strange
27:31
and somebody else actually reached out to me
27:34
it was like i noticed we're friends but like
27:36
this person's jumped back into my life and they're
27:38
talking all these crazy big things and it sounds
27:41
all wonderful none of it was real delusions of
27:44
grandeur not that I'm diagnosing but I think
27:46
that's no yeah I think yeah I think anybody could
27:50
get that one but yes I think that's you got it
27:52
man like yeah we don't have to get too too deep
27:55
into that one but has that ever happened with
27:57
you that you've had somebody who's kind of slid
27:59
into your life like yeah I can be a very I'm
28:04
trying to write say this in a really nice way
28:06
I can be a very standoffish person It takes me
28:10
maybe at least six months of friendship before
28:13
I'll be like, okay, yeah, this person's my friend.
28:15
I don't take relationships or connections lightly.
28:19
I'm a very guarded person and I try to be friendly
28:22
and be an open person, but I'm also like protective
28:26
with my energy. And I am trying to be a little
28:29
bit more open -minded and a little bit more like
28:31
trusting of people from the get -go. But I also
28:34
know that it takes a while to warm up to me.
28:38
and getting being in this job has very much helped
28:42
me with that of like being connected with other
28:44
like -minded humans other artists other art therapist
28:46
has been so good at helping me get out of my
28:49
shell yeah that's great you know get being able
28:53
to connect with people like that every day and
28:55
just kind of cut to like just because it bring
28:57
it i know it's not your work you're bringing
28:59
your work life and kind of merging it into your
29:00
regular social life you know it's cool that you're
29:03
aware of like that And I think growing up, I
29:06
was always like trying to find my people. And
29:10
I was like, oh, you know, after high school,
29:13
I didn't have a lot of friends in high school.
29:14
After high school, I was like, oh, well, I'm
29:16
going to this university program. Maybe I'll
29:18
find friends, like find my people. Didn't really
29:21
find friends in my program. And then like went
29:25
to art school and I made one friend also named
29:27
John. But like, I just wanted that Hollywood
29:32
group of friends. Like the Weekenders. I don't
29:36
know why I was the first example. Weekenders
29:38
is a great example of friendship. That core group
29:40
of friends that we like hang out all the time.
29:43
I just assumed that everyone had that and that
29:45
I was an outlier for not having that. Yeah, I
29:48
can tell you 100 % you're not the outlier. I've
29:51
lived in a bunch of different places. And man,
29:53
sometimes if you're in the right town, you hit.
29:55
In other towns, you totally whiff. And yeah,
29:59
I think. it's it's not we are like you have that
30:02
expectation like oh i'm going to university it's
30:05
going to be frat parties every weekend and i'll
30:07
find that is what i said my life yeah today yeah
30:10
exactly it's like you it's like you're not gonna
30:13
it's it's not like the way hollywood is and i
30:15
think just having the one or two so like you
30:18
made one friend named john in art school and
30:20
they connected and just be friends with that
30:22
guy you know but yeah yeah cherish what you got
30:25
yeah exactly and just also kind of accepting
30:28
that like quality Quality over quantity. Yeah.
30:31
Oh, totally over numbers. Yeah. Yeah. I'm very
30:35
grateful for the people that I, the five friends.
30:38
Love you all. You're great. Top five. Top five.
30:42
T -Mobile top five. Yeah. Yeah. Unlimited texts
30:46
and talks with these guys. So we talked about
30:49
you making art with yourself as a way to kind
30:52
of stay committed to yourself. What are some
30:54
other ways that you are able to stay connected
30:56
with yourself? I think just, oh. my body it might
31:01
sound selfish but you gotta listen to it and
31:03
you have to like for me i need to go to the gym
31:05
every day do some sort of physical training every
31:09
day uh it's it was i was an athlete in high school
31:12
then just had a very physical job like doing
31:15
mma and cage fighting before i joined the army
31:17
and then joining the army so like physical has
31:20
always been in my routine and so i found that
31:23
just released dopamine for me and did all like
31:27
kinds of like good stuff for me it got me around
31:30
other people got me off the couch and just to
31:33
a space where you see people over and over and
31:36
over again and if I'm seeing them like you know
31:38
a hundred times you're gonna eventually kind
31:40
of get to know these people and I think that
31:44
when I got hurt in the military that kind of
31:47
all changed whoa yeah big time yeah so big time
31:52
yeah so that for me when that um when that change
31:57
happened for me it was really tough to kind of
31:59
get over yeah and I started finding new things
32:02
for outreach so that basically again kind of
32:05
circles back around to the t -shirt making and
32:07
doing art and uh yeah I think that that's my
32:10
kind of waste yeah and kind of what I'm hearing
32:14
is that in keeping moving you're less in your
32:17
head and more in your body yeah yeah I get that
32:21
that's so important I think it's that just shutting
32:25
off for a couple hours and just having a task
32:27
at hand and that's what art has done for me yes
32:30
that flow we spoke of yeah yeah exactly the right
32:35
music the right area the right settings and just
32:37
getting into that pattern of doing it over and
32:39
over again yeah so like that that ritual because
32:43
we talked about ritual in like episodes maybe
32:45
we could figure it out i love episode two in
32:56
one of the episodes i could have just spoken
32:58
more of like that meaning making maybe no it
33:02
wasn't that one rest rest and recharging we talked
33:05
about the keys how it starts with keys and that
33:08
ritual And I think having rituals is another
33:12
good way to get in your body and out of your
33:13
head because you can do it without thinking.
33:17
It's habitual. Absolutely. What about yourself?
33:24
I don't want to cop out and say art. Art has
33:27
been a really good way to like... You used to
33:29
do kickboxing. I did. I forgot about that. Yeah,
33:33
no, I didn't. I did that up until maybe like
33:35
a year or two ago. Okay. What made you stop and
33:39
how are you going to get back into it? Good question.
33:41
I stopped because there was some conflict issues.
33:44
At one point I was doing one -on -one stuff with
33:46
this guy who originally lived in my building
33:49
and then he moved. Not a far bike ride away,
33:52
but it was still like annoying enough to be like,
33:55
eh, I don't want to do this anymore. And the
33:57
least amount of barriers to do something is so
34:01
key for me. Because if it takes like just five
34:04
extra minutes, I'm like, oh no, may as well do
34:06
something else. And then I did try to go to a
34:10
kickboxing gym and got like a one month trial
34:13
membership. And I wanted to ask the front desk
34:16
a question, but I think I got impatient because
34:18
the person before me was like not having a good
34:21
day and was like occupying a lot of time and
34:24
space. And I was just like, I don't want to do
34:26
this. Like again, too many barriers, which is
34:29
why I think I stick with like swimming, running,
34:31
biking. It's because I don't have to depend on
34:34
anyone else and that I can just do it. what it
34:37
sounds like to me is you just got to pay that
34:39
year fee and then it's the building's always
34:42
there it's always open and you're just like oh
34:43
i know where that location is there's no real
34:46
excuses for it now yeah that's so true no i thought
34:50
that that you doing kickboxing was such a like
34:53
because you weren't doing that when we worked
34:54
at our company and uh i i just remember when
34:59
you picked that up i was like whoa what the heck
35:01
like that's just out of what i thought your wheelhouse
35:04
was but to be in that space i was like respect
35:07
you know I started it in university they got
35:10
me through university yeah and I stopped probably
35:14
when I went to art therapy school because going
35:17
to art therapy school and also working full -time
35:19
left me with very little room to do anything
35:22
yeah it's tough to juggle everything yeah and
35:25
then I got back to it again when I moved back
35:28
to Ottawa and had some sort of stable home situation
35:32
yeah But I have kind of looked into a few other
35:35
gyms, but I always come up with excuses of like,
35:38
oh, I'm too busy or like, I don't know. Titans
35:43
for me in Ottawa. That's a good MMA spot. Titans.
35:48
Just write it down. Shout out to Titans in Ottawa.
35:51
That is also our name, the name of our baseball
35:54
team, which I went to go see on Sunday. A lot
35:58
of people were impressed by the Titans. their
36:00
lore which i don't really know much of right
36:02
now i'm definitely gonna google that later because
36:04
i forgot that they're also a thing yeah yeah
36:08
they're pretty great for that so um back to being
36:13
connected with our bodies i was gonna also talk
36:15
about journaling but also swimming i find is
36:18
very helpful way that i move my body because
36:22
i'm not allowed to listen to music and i I like
36:25
to listen to music all the time. If I want to,
36:27
if I'm going to walk somewhere, I'm like, well,
36:29
I got to get my headphones. Like, and I even
36:31
challenged myself today when biking to work because
36:34
I actually left my headphones upstairs. And I
36:36
was like, oh, I don't want to go up. So I was
36:38
like, I'm not going to wear my headphones and
36:40
ended up connecting with people on the route
36:42
over. And they pointed out a turtle and I saw
36:44
a turtle and I took a picture of it. And I was
36:46
like, that's a cute little turtle. So I feel
36:49
you on the music thing. I've gone to the gym
36:51
and I've almost turned around when my headphones
36:54
died. and then i was like no i'm gonna go into
36:57
it i'll just do this without headphones without
36:59
music but uh and it was a different experience
37:03
completely because you do end up people will
37:06
just talk to you or just make a small a little
37:08
bit more uh small talk but like i find if you
37:11
have your hoodie up and you have over the ear
37:13
uh speaker headphones you're like not approachable
37:17
at all like they people like yeah he's focused
37:19
he's in the zone but with just the open ears
37:22
if you see that you're like oh this person's
37:24
probably people to talk or maybe might want to
37:26
but people are busy but you know it's just it
37:30
is also a good time for people to sort of unwind
37:32
yeah and exploring that connection and also disconnection
37:36
I've wanted a pair of those like over the head
37:38
headphones because I feel like strangers love
37:42
talking to me and a lot of times when I have
37:44
my headphones and I have to like be like oh what
37:46
did you say I think it's your style i'm gonna
37:49
be honest it's very no it's my fault yeah it's
37:52
this is you victim blaming i'm not a victim in
37:56
this situation 101 victim blaming this is on
38:00
introvert gets spoken to so no i think i it's
38:07
the way the way you dress is like very open and
38:10
out there like it's like bright and colorful
38:12
it's the exact opposite of an introvert you know
38:15
what i'm saying like you're like for when i remember
38:18
you had jean jackets then like pins through them
38:20
with like band logos basically like different
38:24
colored socks sticking out like tights and like
38:27
just cool hipster like you're wearing a wolf
38:29
shirt right now like you got a cool style I dig
38:32
it so like people are going to be like hey where
38:35
did you get that or like a sheriff's badge on
38:37
a remember you had the sheriff I still have that
38:40
on my hat that's such a sick hat and such a sick
38:43
uh like sheriff's badge but yeah people are going
38:46
to talk to you about that okay yeah yeah I don't
38:49
know but don't change your style up just just
38:51
be like power through it i got this from in your
38:55
kern in your kern which is a place in california
39:00
yeah that's true yeah yeah it's one of the most
39:04
conservative counties in california they have
39:07
a mule day i did not know that yeah me and our
39:12
friend of the company basically were there for
39:18
an extra week and they had a mule day and it
39:20
was going to happen the week after we were leaving
39:22
but we got the flyers and it looked wonderful
39:24
so i hope you kept that flyer oh i i gotta look
39:29
it up on it we'll we'll look it up the mule day
39:31
mule day because i think a life goal is to get
39:34
back to california and just see those mules on
39:36
mule day that just seems really interesting they
39:39
had long ear donkeys they had all kinds of cool
39:41
stuff i yeah they had categories i went on a
39:45
vacation with my family in january and we got
39:48
to go to a donkey sanctuary yeah and we saw three
39:51
like a donkey oh what donkeys are cool how's
39:55
he doing i hope he's doing okay no i mean like
39:58
how did he have to like clop differently like
40:01
do you have a stronger hoof like what's going
40:03
on with this three three like usually horses
40:06
are just done Yeah, he only got the three clips.
40:14
So yeah, usually they're just done. It was a
40:19
sanctuary. This is where the donkeys go to be
40:22
rehabilitated. Maybe it does donkey physio. It
40:26
probably didn't. No. Man, so many questions about
40:30
this donkey. This donkey is going to be in my
40:33
next piece. I might have pictures. Maybe I'll
40:35
share a picture of the donkey. Perfect. It was
40:39
my niece's favorite donkey. Key three legs. Also,
40:43
I was going to talk about journaling. I started,
40:46
there's this book that we read in my art therapy
40:49
book club called The Artist's Way. And part of
40:52
The Artist's Way, while you're reading it, it's
40:53
like three week series. And each week you have
40:56
different assignments to do and you have to journal
40:58
every day. Okay. Call it your morning pages.
41:01
And the first thing in the morning, supposed
41:03
to write three pages. And I hated it at first.
41:08
I'm not a journaler or I was not a journaler.
41:11
My first page was like, this is stupid. I hate
41:13
this, blah, blah, blah. And I was doing it out
41:15
of spite because I was like, oh, this book, it's
41:18
part of the book and the book club, blah, blah,
41:19
blah. And now I still do it to this day. And
41:23
I love it. If I don't do it, it feels weird.
41:27
It's so integral in my morning routine. And it's
41:29
funny how I can go into something. hating it
41:32
and now I'm like oh I totally love it and what
41:35
I love about it is that I can really see the
41:38
ebbs and flows of my emotions like I can like
41:42
it's I have every single day this year documented
41:47
and I could be like hey Linnea what were you
41:49
doing on May 1st I was like I will tell you what
41:51
I was doing and how I was feeling and who wronged
41:54
me that day oh my god you have a list of people
41:58
who like by It's like, you got a good list and
42:02
a bad list. Well, like not necessarily, but yeah,
42:05
I, it's very, I don't know. It's helped me stay
42:10
on track and it's also a good way to just get,
42:12
get all that stuff in my brain out. Cause when
42:14
I wake up first Sunday in the morning, it's like,
42:17
I'm at a hundred percent all like, I want to
42:19
do all the things. And then throughout the end
42:22
of the day, it just declines steadily. Yeah.
42:25
That's fair. Yeah. I think it's, it's pretty
42:28
sweet. that's like the exact opposite of me i
42:30
i'm just like it all has to be done by like memory
42:33
which kind of clouds everything because like
42:35
not a reliable source when it's just your memories
42:38
but like with that that's pretty that's a pretty
42:42
concrete way to get things done and know when
42:44
things and dates have happened and i'm terrible
42:46
at dates i have my mom my sister and my dad's
42:49
birthday tattooed on my thigh upside down so
42:53
that i can see it so that's genius i do that
42:57
way they can get presents okay because one year
43:00
i forgot everybody's birthday that's so embarrassing
43:03
it's so bad it's i'm really bad at it and like
43:06
and i was like and other people would always
43:08
tell me a week before so this year nobody did
43:11
it and then i was like screw that i'm not failing
43:13
again so i went and got a tattoo okay i love
43:17
that and that's like That kind of goes into another
43:21
topic we're going to talk about later, but that
43:24
staying connected via tattoos. Because I have,
43:27
there's at least one person in my life where
43:30
we have matching tattoos. And every time I look
43:33
at them, like, oh, yeah, that's them. Actually,
43:35
two, because one of them is my tattoo artist.
43:37
But you do end up having that connection with
43:39
your tattoo artist regardless. Yeah, they're
43:41
great. I love my shout out to Ian at Requiem.
43:45
He's been my guy for the last couple of years.
43:48
That's why all my pieces look kind of like it's
43:51
the same style. Ian at Requiem. When you come
43:54
down to East Coast, you should go see him. We
43:56
could get tattoos. I thought of getting matching
43:59
tattoos for the podcast. Okay, let's do it. Listeners,
44:04
do you think this is a good idea? We should do
44:06
a poll. We'll do a poll. Should John and I get
44:10
matching tattoos? I have a lot of blank canvas.
44:13
I feel like John's running out of space. I'm
44:16
running out of space. Are your arms not done?
44:19
No, your arms are done. Your hands aren't done
44:22
and your face isn't done. Hands, face and neck.
44:24
That's basically kind of where I draw the line.
44:26
John, I'll only get a matching tattoo with you
44:28
if it's a face tattoo. Face tattoo, oh my gosh.
44:33
We'll talk about this often. I'm very much joking.
44:36
Also, Nance's vote does not count. that's there
44:42
perfect um yeah what what else do we have to
44:47
say about connection i i don't know i think it's
44:50
i think we got it kind of covered yeah how do
44:52
you connect with your homeboys your homegirls
44:54
and uh just your good friends and family yeah
44:57
oh family connections i really cover too much
44:59
on that but like is that something that's important
45:02
to you for me oh absolutely yeah yeah i know
45:05
like you got a favorite cousin you don't gotta
45:07
say it oh that's a hard one because they're all
45:10
different in there um they're all different i
45:13
don't know i can't pick that they're like my
45:16
favorite for this or my favorite for this yeah
45:18
yeah so yeah that's hard to it's such a nice
45:21
like shared experience of family and having these
45:23
like because like to you your grandma means everything
45:27
and but other people don't know your grandma
45:28
and you could just have these cute little stories
45:30
with that i think that that's just a neat little
45:33
experience right like how like parents raised
45:36
each of us uh was different totally different
45:39
you know what i mean so like it's like the way
45:42
my parents handled me wasn't the same way that
45:44
they needed to handle zoe you know like i was
45:47
really rambunctious so he was very not kind of
45:49
no yeah kind of artsy good good in school and
45:53
like a little little quiet but zoe just kind
45:55
of had her own that she brought to the table
45:57
and we all needed you know a piece of her because
46:00
she was just so like so refreshing yeah i think
46:04
we're a loud family yeah yeah and i think what
46:08
complicates things is that not everyone has a
46:10
good relationship with their family no i mean
46:14
things happen life happens with everybody you
46:17
know and that's uh it's tough it's tough to reconcile
46:20
that and figure that out and like you're like
46:22
is it worth it to keep this person around yeah
46:26
and like also other people like you know you're
46:29
just like then there's people that you're just
46:31
completely stoked to see so luckily for me I'd
46:34
say I got a pretty good family connection yeah
46:36
you're very family oriented yeah yeah And I think
46:39
with the exception of your sister, most of your
46:41
family is at the East Coast? In the East Coast?
46:43
East Coast, a little bit in the States. And we
46:46
actually found a lot of family through, what's
46:50
that? What's the... That ancestry website that
46:54
takes your DNA and tells you if you killed someone.
46:58
Yeah, basically. Exciting. We found a bunch of
47:01
our family in India. oh cool back yeah we traced
47:04
it back and we were like what we're related and
47:07
my so my aunts and uncles went and so did some
47:10
of my cousins my mom wants to go i i want to
47:12
go check it out and like so they're in the town
47:14
of goa and it was you gotta go uh i gotta go
47:18
with a goa so like once yeah so and it's funny
47:21
because like like my cousin finn was like they
47:24
have the same kind of personality traits as us
47:26
but they're like full -blown indian and then
47:29
there's like us who are like mixes and we're
47:31
just like hey dude and the you know like the
47:34
tattoos long hair right and like they're like
47:36
what what's what how did you turn out like this
47:39
genetics is wild i know so crazy like like my
47:44
aunt was saying there was like a guy and he had
47:46
like the same sort of eyes and personality and
47:48
like i was like that's that's neat right that's
47:51
so cool yeah which one of you did the ancestry
47:54
thing oh my because it takes one dedicated family
47:57
member to do that it was sue aunt sue oh yeah
48:01
aunt sue she's lovely i can't say enough about
48:05
her and she's just done amazing incredible things
48:07
like throughout her lifetime yeah so yeah And
48:10
I think that can really help people who don't
48:12
have a connection, like whether it's through
48:14
adoption, whether it's through, you know, this,
48:16
that or the other thing to be like, who the heck
48:18
am I? Because knowing your background is a bit
48:22
of a privilege that a lot of people don't have.
48:25
No, it's cool. it can kind of like gauge you
48:29
from me like i found it's it's a plus and a negative
48:32
i've gauged myself on a lot of my military family's
48:36
history and what they've done and compare it
48:37
to my own and i always feel like i come up short
48:40
like those guys just did everything and did all
48:43
kinds of brave stuff and it just makes me always
48:46
be like huh it in a way it's it's a down like
48:50
it's a kind of a downer for me but like because
48:52
i'm compared to really great men you know so
48:56
that that might be that would be i would say
48:58
my negative for that but with the rest of it
49:01
i'm very very happy yeah you know so what's that
49:04
saying about comparison i don't know there's
49:08
a saying about comparison where it's like the
49:11
root to unhappiness or something yeah i believe
49:14
that you know I'm gonna look it up I'll write
49:17
that down because I know I'm gonna forget um
49:19
also this new thing we're doing in this episode
49:22
and then this might be a good time to do it is
49:25
that we're gonna are we calling them side quests
49:27
I can't remember yes side quests yes also what
49:31
was the thing I wanted to remember oh the comparison
49:33
thing comparison and uh what our music is like
49:37
what oh yeah we'll do the music that'll be our
49:40
our last bit our outro this week's side quest
49:43
also be in mind keep in mind that your safety
49:48
is utmost importance to us this was might have
49:52
also low -key been inspired by my favorite movie
49:54
which we don't talk about um where in one point
49:58
in the movie one of the main characters gives
49:59
his craft group friends uh little homework assignments
50:04
but these are side quests because we're little
50:06
wizards giving you fun things to do anyways Also
50:10
inspired by John, we were talking before, and
50:13
he's like, I think I just need to go make art
50:15
in a cafe and draw people. And I was like, love
50:18
that for you. So side quest is to either make
50:22
some art in public or somehow outside if the
50:26
weather is nice. But again, only if it is safe
50:28
to do so. We got it. they're uh yeah that's definitely
50:32
the way to do it and uh another side quest we
50:35
dm us what your favorite things would be for
50:37
music oh yeah music suggestions yeah exactly
50:41
something that might move and inspire you and
50:44
okay yeah i'm going to share my one that got
50:47
me hyped up for this episode and it was uh the
50:50
um so it's just the single it's called dream
50:53
and uh the picture of it is a car doing a drift
50:56
and it's a slow down edition so look that one
51:00
up and we will be adding that to our communal
51:03
playlist yeah in the next 24 hours maybe let's
51:07
put a big star inside that and the song I am
51:10
adding is called the mystery of love by Sufjan
51:12
Stevens also kind of a chill vibe it sounds like
51:14
this slow down version of dreams is on the chiller
51:19
side of things also Emily will be sharing a song
51:23
with us as well Absolutely. She is not here at
51:26
the moment. She is listening at this moment because
51:29
she's listening, but not in this physical moment.
51:32
She's just by the time she hears that she's going,
51:35
it's going to be in the moment. Okay. I'm getting
51:37
nods. You get it. I don't need to over -explain
51:39
myself. And that's, that's what I have to say.
51:46
Goodbye, everybody. You get a forehead kiss or
51:49
a stone cold Stephen Austin stunner. You want
51:52
it. Got it. Let's go. You can come up to me for
51:55
it anytime you want. Thanks, everyone. We'll
52:00
see you next time.