Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / August 16, 2020 | [re]START - Restart Family, Pt 2 (Alex Wolfe)

Transcript

August 16, 2020 | [re]START - Restart Family, Pt 2 (Alex Wolfe) · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Good morning.
0:01
SPEAKER_00: Good clapping.
0:02
SPEAKER_00: I like that.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: My name is Alex Wolf.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: If I've not had the opportunity to meet you yet, I am the Young Adults Pastor at TBC as of about four months ago, I think.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: Time goes fast.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: I've been here since before the start of this restart series.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: And this restart uh sermon series that we've been in was designed to help us restart things that may have gotten sort of left behind or forgotten about during the COVID lockdown.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: But my talk this morning has a has a bit of a different focus.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: See, I'm supposed to be talking about restarting family, but the interesting thing about family is COVID kind of did that for us, didn't it?
0:44
SPEAKER_00: It sort of forced us to set all of our other priorities aside and to sort of hyper focus on the ones who we love the most.
0:53
SPEAKER_00: So why in the world would I talk about family when all of us are kind of on this high in our family lives right now?
0:59
SPEAKER_00: Well, if you were here last week, uh Connor, our youth pastor, brought us an incredible sermon, uh, and he told us the story of the Israelites coming out of exile to rebuild the temple.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: And they started strong, but but but soon things kind of started getting in the way.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: They they started building this temple, coming out of exile, and then some enemies got in their way.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: And that seemed like a good excuse at first, and and sooner or later they started building their own houses, and and next thing you know, the the temple was kind of all but forgotten.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: It's so easy to start strong when you have a singular focus.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of what COVID gave to us a singular focus on our families.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: See, we're feeling kind of our our family lives now, but just like the Israelites coming out of exile, we can so often fall into that same trap of getting sidetracked.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: But how about six months or a year from now, when work kind of becomes demanding again, or when sports finally, if they ever do, restart, will your priority still be your family?
2:12
SPEAKER_00: Or will it be something else?
2:15
SPEAKER_00: See, the problem is that while COVID brought our families together for many of us, it didn't really teach us what family truly is.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: Just like the Israelites coming back to build their temple, they had their what, what are we gonna do, but they didn't quite connect to their why, and it was only a matter of time until their true priority came out.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: Me.
2:41
SPEAKER_00: It's all about me.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: So they went in strong, saying, uh, it's about God, it's about God, we're gonna build the temple for God, and pretty soon it's all about me, it's all about me.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna build my house and I'm gonna forget about God's house.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: See, we're in the same boat with our families.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: We're we're starting strong, we're restarting, we're fired up, we're determined to keep our priorities right this time, but it's just a matter of time before our hard hearts take over too.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: See, that was the Israelites' problem.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: They came back, but their hearts were still hard.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: And it's a matter of time before ours take over, and soon if we aren't careful and if we don't have the right information, our true priority will take over soon, too.
3:24
SPEAKER_00: Which is me.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: Myself.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: It's all about me.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: Uh, this is mine, that is mine, you spouse, you kids, you exist to make me happy and to fulfill my life.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: And if you don't, I will just find something else that will make me happy or fulfill me.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: You know, maybe I'll pour myself into my job or make more money or log on to that website, or you know, maybe I'll just find somebody else.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: So today my goal is to present the information that I believe will prepare us all to keep family as our top priority as things go back to normal.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: And if we truly grasp these truths, I believe we can help one another to avoid making the same mistakes as those Israelites who fell prey to their hard hearts yet again.
4:19
SPEAKER_00: And so today we're gonna look at the book of Ephesians.
4:23
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and coming out of seminary, I couldn't choose just one passage.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: I was so excited about all of them.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh so instead of choosing one passage, I decided uh the whole book is what we're going to look at.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: Um and the reason is because I think this whole book is really about reorienting the mindset of the audience around what family actually is.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: So, with uh the Lord's help today, I'm gonna attempt to teach the entire book in just about 30 minutes, uh, with an emphasis on chapters five and six, which are our family verses.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: So, uh, while my while my sermon today is about family, uh, in order to understand what family is, which I think is the key to helping us sustain this restart and keeping it a priority, we have to first see how Paul defines it in light of the argument of his entire book.
5:20
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna start by summarizing the book, and then we're gonna look at some sort of practical examples of how to live these truths out.
5:30
SPEAKER_00: So, uh getting into it, why Ephesians?
5:34
SPEAKER_00: Why Ephesians?
5:35
SPEAKER_00: Well, the book of Ephesians was written by Paul to a Gentile church in Ephesus, a large church, and some scholars think that uh it might have been intended to be circulated around all these other Gentile churches.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: And uh Paul almost always, when he writes a letter, he writes to a to address a problem, most often an antagonist behind the scenes who is trying to convince the Gentiles to go a certain doctrinal direction that is not good.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: Uh, Ephesians is a little different in that the problem is not an antagonist, rather, it's a lack of knowledge on the Gentile's part.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: See, up until this point in salvation history, uh being adopted by God, having the gospel available to them was mostly only enjoyed by Jews, by Israel.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: But now, in light of Israel's rejection of the gospel, the gospel has gone to Gentiles.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: And Paul says, in order to make Israel jealous in Romans 11, and he's quoting Deuteronomy 32.
6:43
SPEAKER_00: And this isn't a problem that the gospel has gone to Gentiles, but it sort of creates a problem.
6:49
SPEAKER_00: Gentiles who knew nothing of Jewish heritage have now inherited salvation and partake in the people of God, and many of them have no idea what that means for their lives.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: See, they had a secular Gentile view of the world, then they needed to have God's view of the world, something only Jews really knew of previously.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: So Paul writes to correct this problem.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: He writes to explain the heritage they are now partaking in and how it affects their everyday life.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: So the reason I like this book is because I think we can relate so closely to it.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: Uh, that we often have the same problem as them.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh, we often buy into the secular views of the world over God's view of the world.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: This is certainly true in our marriages, in our families, and in our churches.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: Think about this.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: When we get married today, at least for young people my age, uh the leading images that build our expectations for marriage are things like the show Bachelor and Bachelorette.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: You ever see?
7:55
SPEAKER_00: That's the type of love we all buy into.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: See, it's all about me.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: See, I'm gonna marry you because I deserve this.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'll have my pick of everybody who makes me the most happy.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: You exist to fulfill my life.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: It's about me.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: I deserve it.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: When we have kids, we fantasize about how proud they are going to make us someday.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: We can't wait to post them on Instagram or Facebook and show them off for our own glory, and sometimes even uh it's all about me, so they need to listen to my plan for their life, you know, because I know best for them.
8:30
SPEAKER_00: Because they're gonna make me happy.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: And we go to our church families, it's about our preferences, is it not?
8:38
SPEAKER_00: We like hearing the best person preach.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: We choose which music we like.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: We choose church based on how well it serves our needs.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: Because it's about me.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: Uh, if if there's any parents in the room, you've probably seen Finding Nemo.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and some of my favorite characters in Finding Nemo are these uh, were they pelicans or or uh seagulls?
9:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and instead of actually making the seagull sound, they just say mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, and and it's hilarious, but uh it illustrates for me the human condition.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: This is what we're doing.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: When we get married, when we have kids, when we choose our church as mine, mine, mine.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: It's all about me.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: This is this is the secular mindset.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: It it's not God's view of the world, and it's sort of crept into our minds.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: It's similar to the mindset of the Ephesians who had a gentle m gentile mindset, and Paul is going to write to begin to educate that out of them.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: In this letter.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: Uh so Paul's kind of saying, here's the thing.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh, y'all Gentiles, you know nothing about what's happening to you right now.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: So let me tell you about it.
9:49
SPEAKER_00: You need to know, so I'm gonna tell you.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: And so as we dive into it, you may be tempted to think, how is this how is this relevant to me?
9:55
SPEAKER_00: You're just teaching me a whole book of the Bible.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: Uh but it happens to be one of the few books of the Bible that I feel if Paul were writing to us today as a church in 2020, he would say a lot of the same things to us today.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: Because we need to know what they needed to know then.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: And so my point is that as I summarize the book, uh, my goal is that every bit of this will be applicable to us because it'll teach us about our reality.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: Uh and so if you lean into this, it's not gonna be your typical three points of application sermon.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh we're just gonna we're gonna summarize the logic of the argument through the book.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so if you'll just lean into it, pay close attention, I think uh we'll be able to get through this together.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: So uh here we go.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: Let's go to the book of Ephesians.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: And and I normally I would tell you to get your Bibles out, uh, but I'm afraid because I'm gonna go through it so quickly that I'll just leave you behind if you're trying to read along.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: So, what I want you to do is close your Bibles for now.
10:57
SPEAKER_00: I know uh you probably didn't expect to hear me say that today, but close your Bibles for now.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: We'll get them open in a little bit once we get to chapters five and six.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: But for now, I'm just gonna fly through these first handful of chapters.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: So, Book of Ephesians, chapter one.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: Paul starts out by listing what we what he calls spiritual blessings, but not just for anybody, spiritual blessings for Israel.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: This is the interesting thing.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: He says, uh, we, Paul and the Israelites, the apostles, have been chosen to be holy.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: We're a kingdom of priests, we have adoption as sons, we've received grace, forgiveness, redemption.
11:33
SPEAKER_00: He revealed his will to us and the prophets.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: He we have an inheritance from him.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: We were the first to hope in the Messiah.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
11:42
SPEAKER_00: The Holy Spirit was a down payment for our inheritance.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: And then in verse 13, uh he changes pronouns and he said instead of us, he says, Y'all, you got him.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: See, this was our prom, these were promised to us, and y'all got it too.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: Holy Spirit was the down payment for our inheritance, and now you have the Holy Spirit.
12:03
SPEAKER_00: What is going on now?
12:05
SPEAKER_00: And so at the end of the chapter, he's going to pray for them, and he's gonna ask God that would give him knowledge or give them knowledge and revelation about what this means for their life.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: So this is the issue.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: This was our thing, y'all got the Holy Spirit, now you need to know what that means for your life.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: And so he goes on to chapter two.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: And he says, It turns out that both Jews and Gentiles were dead in our sins.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: And God decided to save both equally at the same time because of his grace and kindness.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: Uh, so don't think that it's your own doing.
12:42
SPEAKER_00: It is by grace that we've all been saved.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
12:46
SPEAKER_00: Uh remember, in fact, that you Gentiles were once far off from God.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: See, you were excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, separate from the promises of God.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: We Israel had all of that stuff.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: We were near.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: Y'all were far off, but by God's grace, he has brought you near too.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: And he has not just done that, he has now made Jews and Gentiles into a body.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: He calls it the new man, the body of Christ, and he has destroyed the hostile relationship between Jews and Gentiles in this new body.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: So not only has he saved both of them, not only do Gentiles partake of their thing, now he's brought them together into the same body, and now together, built upon the foundation of the prophets and the promise of Christ, they are both, Jews and Gentiles, all being built up together into a temple which is intended to be filled by the Holy Spirit, each individual being an essential brick in the building.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: So it's a new man, it's the body of Christ, it's the temple of the Holy Spirit, and all the individual pieces make it up.
14:05
SPEAKER_00: And he moves on to chapter 3, and he says, Now that's the new reality, Gentiles.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: Now let me tell you about my credentials on why I have the ability to tell you this.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: Uh, the reason I write is because Jews and Gentiles are now in one body, and God has revealed this to me as an apostle to the Gentiles.
14:25
SPEAKER_00: Namely, uh, well, so now he has that he has he's tasked with sharing it with the Gentiles, namely, that Gentiles are fellow heirs, verse 6, and members of the body and partakers of the promise of Christ.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: This is the information he's tasked with sharing.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: And then he prays for them again, because this is a big task.
14:47
SPEAKER_00: Paul prays that the Gentiles will know and comprehend fully with the rest of the saints, the Jews, uh, what this means for their life.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: That's the goal of writing this.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: This is what I want you to get.
15:01
SPEAKER_00: I want you to understand your new position and what this now means for your life.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: And he moves on to chapter four.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: He says, okay, now what does it mean?
15:09
SPEAKER_00: Here's how it works for you, Gentiles.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: Here's how it works for the whole thing.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: Walk worthily of your new position in unity.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: See, you were a Gentile, kind of off on your own, an individualist mindset, me, mine, it's all about me.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: And now you are to walk in unity.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: Not just in unity, but in gentleness and patience, tolerance and love, strive for peace and perseverance, unity in the body, because you are all partakers of the same spirit.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: You're in something new.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: You're not, you're no longer just an individual, you are now a unity, and uh you are partakers of the same spirit that you are a you are a brick in this temple that the spirit is going to fill up.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: And within this temple of the spirit that we make up together, the spirit has gifted uh different bricks for the building up of the body.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: See, he's given some as apostles, some as evangelists, some as pastors, some as teachers to equip the other bricks in the building for the work of the ministry, which is building up in love, until we all attain unity of faith and knowledge of the Son of God to a mature new man, he says.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: Remember that phrase new man in chapter two.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: The body of Christ is this new man, until we all attain this mature new man.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: That's the goal.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: In other words, every brick in the temple or joint of the body, he says in this chapter, works together for building up in love to maturity in the body of Christ.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: That is unity of faith and correct knowledge of Jesus.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: For the head's sake.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: And here's how it looks.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: Um Christ is the head of the body, and then he kind of has all these other images for it.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: The body is also the temple of the Holy Spirit built on the prophets and Christ being the chief cornerstone.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: These are us, all the individual little bricks, and the Holy Spirit fills the temple with knowledge and unity.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and some bricks are pastors, elders, and we all exist for the building up of this thing called the body of Christ for the sake of the head who is Christ.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: So then he says, Now that you know what is your reality, now that you know how it works, here's what you need to do.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: Now that you know, stop living and acting and believing like Gentiles, because now you're part of something new.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: Put off the old self, the Gentile secular mindset, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind in regards to your new position in Christ's body.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: You're no longer an individual.
18:05
SPEAKER_00: Put all that selfishness off, renew your mind, and not only that, put on the new man.
18:12
SPEAKER_00: Remember that new man is another word for the body of Christ.
18:16
SPEAKER_00: Put on corporate identity is the idea.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: You're no longer just an individual.
18:21
SPEAKER_00: Uh renew your mind to think unifyingly and put on the corporate body of Christ.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: That is your new identity.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: And that is the key to us sustaining our family as our top priority.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: Is getting out of this mindset that says it's all about me, it's all about me.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: That's gonna end in a train wreck.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: I promise you.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: And renewing our minds and putting ourselves in the corporate body, say it's not about me, it's not even about my family, it's about this whole thing.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: And that's where we're kind of going with this sermon.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: And then at the end, he says, Don't grieve the Holy Spirit through disunity.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: See, if the Spirit's job is to unify the bricks and to fill up a temple which is already built and which he's working on building, if something is not unified, you don't have a complete building to fill up.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: His job is working towards unity, and through unity, knowledge and love is obtained.
19:23
SPEAKER_00: So what grieves him is disunity in the body.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: So stop acting like the old thing and put on the new thing.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: Chapter 5, he says, rather than acting like Gentiles, be imitators of God.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: Help one another represent Christ.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: Be imitators, that's that's the body's function after all, to represent the head, to reflect the will and the desires of the head.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: So don't partake with unfaithful men and bad habits, rather learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: And he told them what's pleasing to the Lord unity and love.
20:03
SPEAKER_00: And he says, now that I've told you this, don't pretend you haven't heard it.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: You're wise now.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: Don't act like unwise men who don't know these things.
20:12
SPEAKER_00: Don't pretend you didn't hear this.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: Know what God's will is for the church.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: Unity, love, being built up by each individual brick into a mature new man who fully represents the head who is Christ.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: So then he goes on to say, don't fill yourself with selfishness.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: Don't get drunk with wine, but be filled by the Spirit.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: And this is not an individual filling, this isn't each individual going off and being filled separately and then coming back.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: This is in the context of the church or the temple of the Holy Spirit, the church body.
20:55
SPEAKER_00: We together, all together are a building which is going to be filled by the Spirit.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: That's the idea.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: It's not individual, it's corporate.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: He says, be filled by the Spirit, but how are you going to be filled by the Spirit?
21:08
SPEAKER_00: What does that look like?
21:09
SPEAKER_00: Now I get it, we have pastors and teachers, but now what?
21:11
SPEAKER_00: What do we do?
21:12
SPEAKER_00: And he says, Well, you worship together.
21:15
SPEAKER_00: Verse 19, you sing spiritual songs and hymns to one another.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: You pray together, you give thanks for all in the body of Christ.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: And finally, he says, be subject to one another, and I've interpreted that as live together and show one another how it works.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: Live together and show one another how it works.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: And so the key here is being subject.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: How can they show one another how to represent Christ?
21:47
SPEAKER_00: Well, according to Paul, there are a few relationships within the church which are particularly well suited for being subject.
21:57
SPEAKER_00: See, just as God gave pastors and teachers.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: To build up the body of Christ in love, the temple, the church.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: So he also gave certain relationships to do the same.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: Those three relationships are marriage, parenting, and bond serving and master relationship, which we don't really have a one-to-one equivalent today.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: So we will not be looking at that one.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: We're going to focus our attention on marriage and parenting.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: And we're going to spend the rest of our time and the rest of chapter five, in the beginning of chapter six, to learn about how these family relationships fit into this whole picture.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: So marriage and parenting, where does it fit into the body?
22:41
SPEAKER_00: Like this section comes right after he has just told them how to be filled with the Spirit.
22:47
SPEAKER_00: And he says, right before our passage here, be subject to one another.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: And so what follows that, that command to be subject to one another, is going to define how he intends that to look.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: So what follows defines what it means to be subject to one another.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: So if you have your Bibles, open up to Ephesians chapter 5, and we are going to read from verses 22 through chapter 6, verse 4.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: Keep in mind, these relationships define how the church is to be subject to one another.
23:24
SPEAKER_00: He says, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: See, we we know this language, the head in the body, already.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives in everything to their husbands.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present her to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
24:13
SPEAKER_00: He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
24:31
SPEAKER_00: This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ in the church.
24:34
SPEAKER_00: That was never about human marriage.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: In fact, human marriage was all about Christ and the church.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: That's his whole point here.
24:41
SPEAKER_00: However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, let the wife see to it that she respects her husband.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: Chapter six, he says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for that is right.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Honor your father and mother.
24:54
SPEAKER_00: This is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land.
25:00
SPEAKER_00: Fathers, don't provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: So this passage defines for us how certain relationships help us be subject to one another and therefore represent Christ and the church.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: And so here's how it looks.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: And as they are lived out, they teach and reflect this reality of Christ and the church.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: And so the idea is that as a husband and wife live out this relationship and sacrifice for one another, so as the husband sacrifices and gives his life for his wife, it teaches the church about how Jesus gave himself for her.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: And as the wife lays herself down for the husband, it represents how the church ought to respond to Christ, who is the head.
26:06
SPEAKER_00: Similarly, as parents, as they parent with gentleness and with truth, it represents how Christ is building up and purifying his body.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: And as a child obeys and honors his parents or her parents, they represent how the body ought to respond to Christ.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: But this is where many, especially, especially wives in the room, you start putting up red flags and walls, because this passage has sort of taken on a life of its own, hasn't it?
26:43
SPEAKER_00: This is part of the reason it's it's often been improperly used, you know, to say that women are inferior to men and that the husband has the final say in everything in the relationship.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: And this is part of the reason I felt it necessary to summarize the entire book in context, because the idea that this is defining is being subject to one another.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: And this idea has two implications.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: See, as husbands and wives are subject to one another, parents and children subject to one another, they teach about this relationship so the body is sort of filled up with all these mini Christ church relationships, right?
27:25
SPEAKER_00: And as they're subject to one another, Paul says in another place in one of his letters, um, outdo one another in showing honor.
27:33
SPEAKER_00: That's kind of the idea.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: Imagine a marriage relationship where the husband and wife sort of made it a friendly competition between themselves to see who could outdo one another in showing honor.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: Every sacrifice by the husband or by the wife would be met with an equal or greater gift from the other person, not as a reciprocation, but as pure sacrifice on one person's part.
28:01
SPEAKER_00: Would anybody be left behind in that scenario?
28:04
SPEAKER_00: No.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: But the idea is submit to one another, outdo one another in showing honor, but the main point from the context is not just that, but uh, there's my slide for outdo one another showing honor, but marriage and parenting is not about you.
28:20
SPEAKER_00: That's kind of the big takeaway from this whole thing.
28:22
SPEAKER_00: It has nothing to do with you.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: Marriage and parenting are about something else entirely.
28:31
SPEAKER_00: Remember that this whole book is about building up the body of Christ.
28:36
SPEAKER_00: It's about teaching these Gentiles how to stop thinking like a Gentile and start thinking like a member of the body.
28:44
SPEAKER_00: It's about getting out of the individualism that they were steeped in and into a corporate identity.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, marriage and parenting exist not for the individual family, but for the corporate family, the body of Christ.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: So you don't submit to your husband because he's worthy.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: You submit to your husband because it teaches the church about Christ and the church.
29:12
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, you don't love your wife because she deserves it, but because it teaches the church about how Christ loves the church.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: And we were enemies when he died for us.
29:26
SPEAKER_00: See, these relationships teach about Christ in the church, and so as they are lived out well, they teach the rest of the church how Christ loves the church and how the church ought to respond to Christ.
29:37
SPEAKER_00: So what I am actually saying is that your family relationships are a church ministry.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: That's why they exist.
29:47
SPEAKER_00: Not to make you happy, not to fulfill your life.
29:52
SPEAKER_00: The only reason is to build up and teach the church.
29:57
SPEAKER_00: Purely.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: I say, good.
30:11
SPEAKER_00: Outside of the church community, it makes no sense.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: Sacrifice is dumb.
30:15
SPEAKER_00: But in the church community, it has value because it teaches about Christ's sacrifice.
30:23
SPEAKER_00: It's teaching something to the church.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: So let me ask you this: what is your family life teaching the church?
30:33
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna teach something, one way or another.
30:36
SPEAKER_00: Your marriage will be of value, your parenting will be of value to the church.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: But you can teach something that's less valuable.
30:44
SPEAKER_00: With your family life, you're teaching one of two things.
30:47
SPEAKER_00: It's teaching about Christ and the church, or it's teaching about Satan.
30:51
SPEAKER_00: I know that sounds extreme.
30:53
SPEAKER_00: Think back with me.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: Uh, if your mindset around your marriage is the me, mine relationship, it's all about me.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: You exist to fulfill my life.
31:03
SPEAKER_00: See, we don't have to do it God's way, you can do it your own way.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: You can you can make your own rules.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: See, that was Satan's idea.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, if your mindset is anything like the bachelor or bachelorette, I'm sorry if you watch the show, uh, don't mean to insult you, but uh you might be representing Satan in that moment if your marriage looks anything like that.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: If it's all about my happiness, you know, you scratch my back, you know, I'll scratch yours, maybe, if I'm not too tired.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: Right?
31:34
SPEAKER_00: It's reciprocation.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: So you're either teaching that about what the church should not be doing, or you're teaching about Christ in the church, which is our goal.
31:44
SPEAKER_00: That's what it was created for.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: That's the standard, the ideal, which is sacrificial love.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: He died for his bride even when they were his enemies, even when they were far off from him, for Jews and Gentiles alike.
31:58
SPEAKER_00: It's not about you and the church, or it's not about you, it's about the church.
32:03
SPEAKER_00: Um example of this from my life uh that really hits close to home for me is the example of my parents.
32:14
SPEAKER_00: Uh when I was in high school, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and and there was a lot of ups and downs for a lot of years of remission, and and and it just kept coming back.
32:26
SPEAKER_00: And uh eventually it came back in her bones, and for several years uh it just began sort of eating away at her body, and and you know, her collarbone was split in half, her femurs were missing.
32:38
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was it was all over the place, and she was in so much pain.
32:43
SPEAKER_00: And this went on for years and years, and towards the end, uh she she was surprisingly mobile for what she was going through, but uh, but she became quite immobile towards the end and quite unable to do anything for herself.
32:59
SPEAKER_00: Uh and I I watched my dad um put everything else aside in his life: work, money, any happiness, any hope, even that she was gonna get back.
33:12
SPEAKER_00: I mean, just there was nothing in it for him.
33:15
SPEAKER_00: And he was at every doctor's appointment.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: He was there taking care of her, moving her around, cleaning her up, doing things that you would never hope to do for any other person ever.
33:26
SPEAKER_00: And he was right there, every step of the way, sacrificing.
33:31
SPEAKER_00: He didn't know if she would get better.
33:33
SPEAKER_00: Chances are she wouldn't, and she didn't.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: She passed away in 2015.
33:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh but I remember to this day, very distinctly thinking, that's how Christ loves the church.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: See, she couldn't tell him thank you.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: She was in too much pain.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: She couldn't give him anything in return.
33:53
SPEAKER_00: She had no ability to do that in those moments, but he kept giving and kept giving and kept giving when nobody else would.
34:02
SPEAKER_00: And so my encouragement to you is look for ways in which you can serve your family without anything in return.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: In fact, the greater the sacrifice, the better image it is to the church.
34:19
SPEAKER_00: The less you get out of the deal, the more like Christ you look.
34:24
SPEAKER_00: And the more the church learns about who Christ is and how we ought to respond to him.
34:31
SPEAKER_00: So maybe you're like uh the Gentiles today, and this is new information for you.
34:39
SPEAKER_00: I urge you, as Paul urged them, uh, now that you know, don't pretend like you don't know what this thing's all about.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: Don't pretend like your marriage is still all about you, or your parents, or your kids are all about you.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: Don't live as unwise people, but as wise.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: Whether you asked for it or not, God has already ordained for your family relationships to be a church ministry.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: So don't make it about you.
35:07
SPEAKER_00: That's only going to end poorly, I promise you.
35:09
SPEAKER_00: Make it about them.
35:11
SPEAKER_00: Make it about your children, make it about your spouse.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: In fact, go beyond that.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: Make it about the church.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: Only then will you be able to sustain this restart when selfishness and pride have sort of taken a back seat.
35:29
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're like the Jews in the church and you knew these things.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: These are not new pieces of information to you, but maybe you started strong in the early stages of your marriage and parenting, and you feel like life just kind of got busy, and yet you're still sort of feeling this pressure to have a perfect family and to show up five days a week and serve at church, and you got all these things going on.
35:50
SPEAKER_00: Let me encourage you and take a little pressure off of you.
35:55
SPEAKER_00: The whole point of this sermon is to show you that the family relationship lived out within the community of the church is serving the church.
36:08
SPEAKER_00: As you love your spouse or your children, you are serving the church.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: You are teaching the church.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: So take some pressure off of yourself to be perfect and to be showing up every day and doing all these things.
36:22
SPEAKER_00: Your family relationship is a church ministry and it has helped the church, I promise you.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: See, sacrifice speaks so much louder than any sermon.
36:35
SPEAKER_00: See, this sermon will be forgotten in a matter of days, if not minutes.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: Especially because I don't have my three points of application, sorry.
36:44
SPEAKER_00: Uh but your family will keep teaching you about Christ every single day until the end.
36:52
SPEAKER_00: I still remember my dad.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: It's been, gosh, five years.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: And I still remember vividly how he sacrificed for my mom.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: That teaches me about Christ every day.
37:02
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and if you're a young couple uh or a young family in the room and you're kind of just getting started in this whole thing with parenting and marriage, or even if you're engaged, uh, we have some exciting things happening.
37:15
SPEAKER_00: Um we're actually starting a class for young uh couples and young families on August 30th at night during the 9 a.m.
37:25
SPEAKER_00: services, and the whole group is going to be built upon this concept.
37:30
SPEAKER_00: That we don't exist for ourselves, we exist to build up the body of Christ.
37:34
SPEAKER_00: And if that's you and you want to be a part of a community which is helping one another do that, we're gonna be starting that up.
37:41
SPEAKER_00: So let us know if you're interested in partaking of that.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: There's my shameless plug.
37:46
SPEAKER_00: My wife, Lindsay, and I will be leading that group.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: So um, but before I end, I want to encourage you who are who are single or widowed in the room.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: Uh I don't want you to think that you are obsolete in this talk.
38:03
SPEAKER_00: My point is that marriage and parenting aren't about the individual, they are about the church and Christ.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: And you are part of that same church.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: You are part of this, the family that this thing is all about, God's family.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: You are a brick in the temple of the Holy Spirit, just like any of us.
38:25
SPEAKER_00: So you too can and ought to represent Christ in the Christian community within this church.
38:32
SPEAKER_00: Your mandate for your Christian brother or sister is the same as ours for our spouses and our children.
38:40
SPEAKER_00: Be subject to them.
38:42
SPEAKER_00: Outdo them in showing honor.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: Love them, give yourself up for them, period.
38:49
SPEAKER_00: We're all in the same body.
38:52
SPEAKER_00: That's how we're gonna build one another up into the fullness of Christ, into a mature new man who is going to fully represent the one who is our head, Christ.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: So, how do I make sure my family remains my top priority?
39:07
SPEAKER_00: It's fairly simple.
39:09
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you renew your mind about what family is.
39:13
SPEAKER_00: You make it not about you anymore.
39:16
SPEAKER_00: And when it becomes not about you, it becomes part of something bigger.
39:20
SPEAKER_00: And suddenly you're accountable to something that means a lot.
39:24
SPEAKER_00: And it's important.
39:26
SPEAKER_00: And it's not about you, it's about Jesus and his body, the church, representing him.
39:34
SPEAKER_00: So if you can remember that, uh then I believe that we can all keep our family, that is, our spouses, our children, our church family, as our top priority where it ought to be with the help of the larger family of the church.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.
39:51
SPEAKER_00: Father, we thank you for uh this great design that you have built in before the foundation of the world.
40:00
SPEAKER_00: Uh, from the beginning, it was never about us and our marriages and our families.
40:06
SPEAKER_00: It was about you.
40:07
SPEAKER_00: It was about your son who would come and leave his father and join himself to his bride and become one flesh.
40:16
SPEAKER_00: Lord, and we we we thank you that we can partake and participate in that story.
40:22
SPEAKER_00: That we can be a part of representing you on this earth while our Savior Jesus is with you at your right hand.
40:30
SPEAKER_00: Lord, until he comes back, help us to better represent you through our marriages, through our parenting relationships, and also through this church family.
40:41
SPEAKER_00: Lord, we thank you and we love you for who you are.
40:44
SPEAKER_00: And in Jesus' name we pray, by the power of the Holy Spirit.
40:48
SPEAKER_00: Amen.