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Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive · Kate’s Devotional Podcast

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Kate Dresden, and welcome to Kate's devotional podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: I drop my podcast every Wednesday.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's always a five-minute or less devotional to bring you encouragement as we try
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: to live our lives according to the Bible.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: So glad you're here.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to talk about grieving someone who is still alive.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Those of you who've been through something like this know what I'm talking about,
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: but some may be thinking,
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: what does that even mean?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there are many reasons to grieve someone who is still living.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'll give you some examples.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're anticipating the death of someone who has declining health or a terminal illness.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know someone is going to die, you start to grieve way before their actual death.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you're dealing with the loss of a relationship that could be due to a breakup,
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: a divorce,
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: maybe an estrangement.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: When someone that you have a really close bond with suddenly chooses to get out of
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: your life,
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: there's grieving.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: maybe you have someone that you're very close to and they're changing right in
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: front of you and you're losing the person that you've always known like your loved
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: one maybe going through dementia or alzheimer's or maybe a brain injury due to
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: something going on in their brains they just aren't the same person anymore and
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: there is definitely a loss of what you've always known
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: In many ways, I think it's tougher to grieve someone who's alive than someone who's dead.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I say that because when someone has died, there's no possible way to change it.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: There's a finality to it.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a specific point in time,
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: when their presence is permanently gone,
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: and you have no choice but to accept that reality.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: But if the person is still living,
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: but they aren't the same person that we've always known, our minds have a harder time with that grief.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: The desire to go back to the way things used to be, it just, it weighs heavy on your heart.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember watching my brother die from cancer.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: I watched the man I knew become someone I didn't know.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it was very painful and I definitely felt grief before he even died.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Many people watch their parents or their spouse succumb to dementia.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And the loving person they've known becomes combative or mean.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it is such a difficult thing.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Another example would be if you have a family member who wants nothing to do with you,
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: there's a grieving process there.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And there might be situations where you even have to like attend a family function,
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: like a wedding or a funeral,
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: and you have to be in the same place as this person.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's really hard because it just opens up that wound each time.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, how do we deal with this unique grieving process?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm no expert, but I just wanted to share three things that I learned from my own experience.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, give your grief to God.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: The Bible says he's close to the brokenhearted.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: And a verse you can look up would be Psalms 34, 18.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: He understands our hurt when nobody else can.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: He instructs us to take our problems to him because he cares.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, let God comfort us.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the Bible says he's a God of all comfort.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can check that out in 2 Corinthians 1, verses 3 and 4.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we can't explain to others how we're feeling.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I know, rest assured, when our heart is breaking, he knows exactly what we need.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And number three, you've got to give it time.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: As with any type of grief, time plays a factor.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, recovering and healing, they don't happen overnight.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Even though we want the hurt to disappear quickly, God's timing is not always the same as ours.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Are you in a situation where you've lost the person that you knew and loved or in
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: the process of losing them?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I would say, take it to the Lord in prayer.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: He can give you peace beyond understanding.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, this is never easy.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I just want to encourage you today.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Run to Jesus with it.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: He's the only one that can heal our hearts.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be doing the same.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you want more of my podcasts or written devotionals,
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: check out my free Substack account at katedreston.substack.com.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Make it a great day, and thanks for listening.