Latest / Dear Chelsea / Minisode: You Can’t Babysit Your Own Kids with Sam Jay and Yanise Monét

Transcript

Minisode: You Can’t Babysit Your Own Kids with Sam Jay and Yanise Monét · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to couples Counseling with Chelsea hand job. I'm here
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: with my friends Yah Yah and Sam and we're back
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: with Sam and ya Ya for a couples counseling. So
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I have to pick again you guys.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I yes, yeah, No me and a mean or we're
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: talking about that because she was just like, yeah, you know,
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: like you're mean, and I was like, when have I
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: ever been mean to? She's like, well, you know you're
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: coming room and it's like you don't know what you're on.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: You might just come room and say what up and
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: just keep it moving. I'm like, so I'm not in
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: the move to do more than that that day. I'm
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: here to do my job. Sometimes you know what I'm saying,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: and it's just like, good to see you, but I'm
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: in my own those lunch won't do my little one Tuesy.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: I'm tired of whatever. I'm out, but I say it up.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: It's like, I'm like, why do niggas need that?
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: What do you? What do you?
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: I think it may be because y'all are entertainment too,
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: that people just expect you to always be on. I
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: can't speak for you, but I know for me because
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: I'm always like, that's what I always expect me to
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: be on so I'm.
• 0:57
  Speaker 5: Not like you said, And it's like I feel that way.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of times when we're running
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: to other people are like, aren't you supposed to be
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: the comment? Aren't you supposed to be the one that's
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: like jove y'all and trying to make me laugh and try,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: and my lack of interest in doing that makes them
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: think that I'm like a bitch, and it's like, no,
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: I'm just why.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: Do I need to do that?
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: I don't know, girl, Thanks boy, I don't know, but
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: you need to make me laugh on the second.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: I do make you laugh all the time.
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: I laugh right now.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: You're actually my favorite person's entertained.
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: Okay, well go ahead, Bojangles. Do you think.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: That's when I'm happiest.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: When I'm in the house alone and your cackling your
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: ass off, I feel the funniest.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: So, I don't know. I've always liked me being silly
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: for you.
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: I like it when you're silly for me.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: I always enjoy I like being.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Silly bonding while I'm gone while the counselors at the
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: back in.
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: The bathroom, we do better without you.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I know, I'm most couple of Thank you guys for
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: being so open and sharing so much. I think our
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: listeners are really going to enjoy it. By the way,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: thank you for my slides, my Louis Vaton slides that
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I called Wiki or Fendi or whatever. I want you
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: to know that I wear those whenever I get a
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: pedicure and around my house, and I got and every
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: time someone sees me and these Louis Vaton slides, they're like,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: are you fucking wearing Louis Vaton slides? They're like, Chelsea,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: that couldn't be less you. I'm like, I fucking love
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: these slides. And then I left them in LA and
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: realized yesterday I didn't have them in my suitcase, so
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: they sent them and I got them today, she takes
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: to Mayorca. Yeah, I fucking love them. That's good.
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: I'm glad.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: And I still have the video of you walking in
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: with the DHL box at the dinner. Okay, let's talk
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: speaking of Louis Vaton, let's talk who's in charge of
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: the finances and who spends the most money.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: Now you already know Sam is in charge of the finances.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: In charge or does she make the money and then
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: you oversee the money?
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: No, I do not oversee the money.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: Sam has a business manager who oversees the money.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: And how does that work for.
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: You, Joe?
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: So I also I also oversee the money. I'd just
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: like to put that out there.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I'm not saying that.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying that I'm also overseeing the money.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: I'm not just letting this guy.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Unlike me, who's not overseeing any of my money. I
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: don't know what the fuck is going on. I'm just like,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: tell me when I need to work and when I
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: cannot work. Okay, So is it an area of discord
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: between you two? Absolutely, yes it is. What is it?
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: I mean, it's not for me.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: I would say, we.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Just had a whole therapy session about it. So I
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: think it's a thing, Okay. I think it's fair to
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: say the thing for you, Okay.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: Not for me.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Tell us what you're saying.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: I'm saying. I think it is.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: There is a power imbalance that plays out, and I
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: think it mostly stems from the fact that I am
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: the sole provider financially, and I think that power in
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: balance bothers you as well.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Sometimes.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I can say, I think it is an
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: issue for both of us. I think it's an issue.
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: It's not like a come all, be all think to me.
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: But I think it is different because we first met,
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: I had the money and Sam did not, and I
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: was the business owner. And then when we got back
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: together this last round, I saw, like I don't have
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: I sold my business, so I'm totally dependent on Sam.
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: So the dynamics are totally different.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that must be strange, but I mean.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: The dynamics are also totally They're just totally different, right,
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Like because at the time when we first met, I
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: wasn't living with you.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: You weren't living with me.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: You just made more money than me, and like I
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: was too broke to take you on dates, so we
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: would just hang out and fucking your house and like
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: that was the extent to which we dealt with money.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Whereas now we're like living together, paying bills together. That's
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: like a whole nother you know, cares different.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: And do you give her an allowance? Do you have something?
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: I'm on payroll?
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: Girl, I worked for my allowance, but you're not gonna.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Do with.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Isn't that a sex worker?
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: I said that.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: I said that, but I said, I wor for it.
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: You don't I do. You're lying I do only.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Reason you're on payrolls for taxes and you know it.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: You don't for I don't.
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: I don't support you.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I don't cook, I don't clean. You don't cook or
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: clean or anything it. Oh I thought yeah I was
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: a good house. Well, bitch, I thought you said I
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: don't cook.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: I'm saying no, I'm asking her like I don't.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I'm I do.
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: I work for my allowance.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: That's working for you.
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: Yes, I work hard.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Are you cooking and cleaning?
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: That's just like taking care of those.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's what that's what she lives there. I know.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: But you can't like if I clean my own room,
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: I worked.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Well, then go ahead and do it. Go clean.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: We also have made so well, So come.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: On, man, anything, how many do you have?
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Well, they just come clean once to like once af
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Now don't really, it's once every two weeks.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: She bumped it up. She had to bump it up.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: She's like, listen, I'm getting sick of this cleaning.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: I don't think cleaning your own house and cooking food
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: in your own house is work.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I just don't.
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: All right, I beg to differ.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: But that's not work. You're not working. You're like maintaining
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: where you live.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: I'm maintaining our life where we live.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: That's not working. That is work.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: You're making your house nice and cozy and comfy so
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: you can come home.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: And that's not like working.
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: That is work.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: That's maintaining.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: Minimizing. That's you know, you're minimizing the whole segment of people.
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: What about the moms of the world that are home
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: and and doing stuff.
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: That's that's work.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: You're not a mom. We have no chance I have.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: You have a cat, I have to take care of.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: Your cats are gone. It's just what that's your friend,
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. You're just hanging out with your friend.
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: You like that's your child, Like fancy.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: You like hanging out him. You don't go to bed
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: without calling him and making him come.
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: But that's your cat.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: No, that's our cat.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: You rock with him, yes, but I'm so so hanging
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: out with your cat is not You can't babysit your
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: own kid.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: I'm saying is like you know what I'm saying.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: All I'm saying is that' don't minimize what I do
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: I work on I'm not minimizing it. I think what
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: you do is absolutely amazing and I really appreciate how
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: it contributes to our hushold in our life.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: And I'm not minimizing.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying it's not work, you're just maintaining your life.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: It's an interesting debate. I'm sure I really can't weigh
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: in because I don't have a spouse or a child,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: and I don't do anything for myself, so I can't
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: really weigh in on this. I think it would be nice,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: since we're closing our sessions together to hear your advice
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: for people who are getting into relationships. What you think
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: it takes to maintain a long term healthy relationship, Like
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: what is the most important ingredient.
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: I would say the most important ingredient is communication and
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: being vulnerable with your partner, because you have to expose
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: yourself and it's hard to do that long term because
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: when you first meet somebody or your first dating, y'all
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: aren't really being your authentic selves. You're being a version
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: of the person that you think that they want. And
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: then once you get to know the person and your
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: your most authentic self, you have to let all all
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: the shit go that you came with, all the baggage.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: You got to let that go and just be there
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: for your partner and communicate to your part what I'm
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: trying to think, Like, no, you're saying right, I mean,
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: you're saying so dope.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Well you just like just be your bitch.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Yacause that's what it is.
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: You have to communicate and you have to let all
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: the other shit go. You can't bring in all the
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: stuff that you went through in your life, because everybody
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: has traumas and experiences that they bring into a relationship.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: But if you want to have a healthy relationship, you
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: have to get to the root of all of your
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: traumas and all the things that fucked you up as
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: a person. So you don't bring that into relationship. You
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: can just be the best version of yourself for that person.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: And do you think you can get rid of that
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: and your trauma without therapy?
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: Absolutely not. I know I couldn't, So I can't. I couldn't,
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: So I can't speak for anybody else.
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: I know I could. What about you?
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: No, there was definitely voices could I wouldn't have gotten
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: too without therapy, And I think I do a lot
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: of my own work really well. Like I'm one of
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: those people who maybe three years ago would have been
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: like you only therapy, spending the time with yourself, you
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: digging deep enough, you could probably you know, excavate most
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: of this shit because I've done it. But once I
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: did do therapy because of what we were going to
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: do in our relationship, I don't think I ever would win.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Otherwise I never would have went for myself. But you
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: saying like, we have to go if we're gonna keep
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: doing this was the only reason I even ended up there.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: But once I was there, I have to say things
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: that I landed on with my brother and all that
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: I would have never it. Never, I never would have
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: went there. I don't think my brain would have allowed
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: me to go there.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: So yeah, and what do you think the most important
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: thing to have a long sustainable relationship is patience?
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: Patience?
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: If you just patience, It's like, if you're gonna really
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: be with someone, then you have to accept you're gonna
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: be multiple versions of them in that time span. Who
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: they are when you first get together is not who
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: they're gonna be later. They're gonna go through things, they're
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: gonna change as a results of the things that they
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: go through, they're gonna need different things, And it's like
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: giving people space to change.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Like a chance to change or space to change.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Space Like if you're really gonna be with someone forever
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: and say they hit a slump, say they hit a depression,
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: say something happens in their life, and now you're with somebody,
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: and it's like that ain't who you started out with,
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: and this might not even be a person that you
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: like that much. If you're gonna be with them, it's
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: supporting them and being patient too that so that they
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: can get to the person that's on the other side
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: of whatever that is.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: And that's like giving them space.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: It's like not requiring them to hurry up and figure
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: it out, not requiring them to just go back to
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: what they were, not requiring them to tell you what
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: the fuck is wrong, because maybe they don't even all
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: the way know, but just like allowing them the space
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: and being supportive, and sometimes you have to do that
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: shit from a distance to get there whatever it is
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: that they're getting, you know, which might be a whole
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: other person most likely than the person they were before
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: or the person they are in the shit and then
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: it's like patients with that.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because sometimes people can change so drastically within a
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: relationship that they're not even recognizable to as the person
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: that they were in the beginning. And in that case,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: there could be an argument for like, when you're not
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: even the same person, it's not like you're there's this evolution,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: it's you're a completely different person. Absolutely, you know, because
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: of whatever circumstances.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, And what do you.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Think, y'all? Y'all like if you had to name something
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: that you've learned through your relationship about yourself, the most
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: powerful thing you've learned about yourself to adjust your own behavior,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: or something that you didn't know you had.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: What is that?
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: ADHD?
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: I'm so serious ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD. I
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: think that was the most transformative thing for me in
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: this relationship. And if she didn't like, I would see
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: things and be like, oh, I think I got that shit,
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: and she'd be like nah, no, maybe, But when she'd
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: hit the fan, her saying hey, I think you may
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: you may really have that. You may want to go
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: talk to someone, and me going to see well, talking
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: to my therapists and then seeing a psychologist and getting
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: clinically diagnosed with ADHD. I think was the biggest game
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: changer for me because it made me see why I
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: was doing things, how I was doing things why, Like
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: it just everything aligned once I understood that, because I
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: understood my more.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: And what were the things that you were able to
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: identify that you were doing as a result of having
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: an undiagnosed ADHD.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: Well they were first they were misdiagnosed me saying that
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: it was a depression or anxiety and this that, and
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: the third when it was really just untreated ADHD. So
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: it was like kind of like the same symptoms but
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: just in different ways. So even with our house, trying
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: to complete our house and design our house, I would
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: start tasks like start wall papering and then do one
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: room and then not finish the other room. But it
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: was just because I got bored because I had already
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: started that, So then I would just start another task
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: in the house. So there it was like a whole
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: bunch of different tasks that weren't completed. So then me
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: finding out that I have ADHD, I figured out why
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: I wasn't completing the task. I was getting bored quickly,
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: so I'd moved onto something else. So now I just
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: make a list and now all the things are completed.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: So it works.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Now, are you on medication for ADHD?
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: No?
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Oh you're not.
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: No, I'm not on medication.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, So you can combat ADHD without taking.
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes you can. You don't have to be on medication.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: How well, that's just what works for me and what
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: my psychologists and what my therapist felt was best for me,
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: that I didn't need to be medicated.
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: I'm not saying all.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: The follow them like workarounds.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: You're like some people are able to develop work around
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: So what she'll do is just like implement systems around
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: the house that structure her where the structure doesn't exist,
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: which is why I have to clean up after stam
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: where I don't see my mess, but I see her
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: mess because I have to clean it up because I
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: know the ill pal up if I don't get it
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: out the way right.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Have you noticed a big difference between.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she finishes things like before there would just be
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: like you know, wallpaper just hanging off different.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: Walls all over the house.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: And then I'll know in my heart, like by the
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: time she gets back to this room, she gonna want
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: it to be a whole nother wallpaper because she don't dalied,
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: so like constantly, we weren't having a complete experience. It
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: was just like everything's going to change, which is wild
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: for me because I grew up fucked up, so I
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: like consistency because.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: I did not have consistency.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: So like the constant change for me was like basically
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: like sowing the feeling of instability, Like I don't even
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: have a place because everything just changes. And then my
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: stuff usually is in his closet and I was happy there,
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: and now I'm in a closet up in the third floor,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: so it's like damn, so now I get used to that.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: Now I'm in a closet downstairs, So I'm like, is
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: this really my house? Or do I just get put
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: wherever I get put? And I'm not allowed to get
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: acclimated with anything. And like I was taking that so personally,
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: but I had to realize, like it's not even nothing
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: to do with me, Like she's just.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Well, that's what my Jenny and Jason, who are doing
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: this too. Jenny said something which I thought was very profound.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: She was saying, like whatever your partner is upset about
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: usually has nothing to do with you, like, even when
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: they think it's about you, it's really not. And that's
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: something important to remember because it's so fucking true. The
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: whole reason we have any discord is because people take
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: things personally. Yeah, And if everyone was like, yeah, whatever,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: he's in a bad man, he's a fucking asshole, Fine,
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: who cares? Like everyone would just be kind of gliding
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: around a little more easily.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's super not personal, and you know it
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: isn't personal. And that's why I think it's important to
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: like tell your person like your trauma, because the truth
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: is you're not gonna get rid of it. Like I'm
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: not ever gonna just be over this shit that happened
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: to me when I was younger.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: But if I could tell you, like, hey, the.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Reason I react like this over socks isn't like just
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: because I'm crazy over socks. It's like some fuzz shapp
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: to me, YadA. So when you do that it makes
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: me feel like that. It literally puts me right back
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: in that mental space and then I become reactionary from
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: that place and that's why it's coming off irrational.
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: But she also is crazy over socks.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Let's speak, it sounds like it but that does sound
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: like a deeper issue.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: You're wild and reckless over socks. Mismatch them, any socks.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: You don't care if this socks match. You don't care
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: about that. You don't care. Don't put a medium like
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: link sock with a low sack, so it's nuts.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: I'm not don't. We don't wait to handle socks.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: We don't have time for this bullshit. I'm not gonna
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: sit here and talk about socks. We're gonna wrap it
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: up and thank you, yah yah and Sam. Yeah yeah.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I still think you need your own podcasts. Are you
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: ready to do something like I am?
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: I think I am brady, And what would.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: You do it about? Let's brainstorm.
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: I don't know, let's think about it.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I think maybe you should be giving advice to people too.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: So maybe okay, I'm down.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I mean I feel like we need to think about
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: it in brainstorm.
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: Like you know what I was doing counseling when I
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: had a salon, so it's kind of like the same.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Well, that is fucking counseling. That's also why I don't
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: go to a salon because I don't want to fucking
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: have to talk to somebody in a hair salon. Okay,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: we'll be introducing a new set of set of triplets
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: next week. You can check out Sam Jay who is
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: on tour now in cities all over the country and
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: she's fucking funny. If you haven't seen her on The
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Roast or on her own special, then go watch both
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: of those her specials on HBO Max now known as Max.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: And then you can follow Yaya at Vanity dot Vixen
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok and it is worth the follow
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: because she's up to some well shenanigans. I mean, you'll
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: understand what I'm talking about.