Latest / Privycast / Ep. 200 THE BIG DEUCE! Clipisode Celebration!

Transcript

Ep. 200 THE BIG DEUCE! Clipisode Celebration! · Privycast

• 0:00
  Welcome back to Privy.
• 0:01
  Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded from my home bathroom.
• 0:08
  I'm your host, Hunter Hoover, and I love bathrooms.
• 0:11
  Welcome back everyone and thank you for being here.
• 0:14
  This is our 200th episode, which we've aptly named The Big Deuce.
• 0:20
  This episode is a little different than a lot of our episodes.
• 0:23
  Instead of having me bloviate about something, we have selected
• 0:29
  a smattering of clips over the last six years for you to enjoy.
• 0:35
  So without further ado, I hope you enjoy a selection of clips from privy's beginning up into this calendar year.
• 0:44
  Enjoy y'all and thanks for listening.
• 0:46
  So you're doing your business and we should not hear that and assume that they did not wipe.
• 0:52
  They had their methods, but because what type of nasty folks ain't wiping?
• 0:57
  but there was usually a sponge or a stick with some sort of cloth or a sponge on it and they would use that utensil or that item to clean their zone after they've done their
• 1:10
  business.
• 1:11
  Welcome to Ancient Rome.
• 1:12
  God help us.
• 1:13
  Let's get some toilet paper into the equation.
• 1:16
  Hopefully we get there in history in this podcast.
• 1:18
  But when you're done and check this, because this is the wild part and this is the part that
• 1:24
  gives me pause and makes me hang up on it for a bit.
• 1:28
  When you're done with that stick with the sponge attached to it, don't throw it away.
• 1:34
  No, pass it down to Dave.
• 1:37
  Pass it to your bestie because you better believe he needs to clean up too.
• 1:42
  Communal wiping instruments.
• 1:44
  This is wild and this is really why
• 1:48
  I wanted to talk about ancient Roman restrooms because this whole concept of sharing the item that you wipe your dookie with is insanity to me.
• 2:01
  And I understand maybe they didn't have as many things to just use and throw away.
• 2:08
  But man, you have to think they had to be able to at least get
• 2:12
  one per one person.
• 2:14
  It seems like that would have been something each person could have at least tried to come up with.
• 2:21
  But they had communal wiping instruments.
• 2:26
  It's wild to me and they don't teach you that in history class.
• 2:30
  And maybe that was the glory of the Roman Empire at long last.
• 2:35
  So another fun activity that you could do with your stick sponge
• 2:39
  is fend off the many rats who would gather at the restroom sites.
• 2:44
  So you would be trying to do your business.
• 2:47
  You're sitting on the john and remember Dave's right next to you and you're chilling and maybe you passed Dave the communal wiping wand and now you might have a rat trying to bite
• 2:59
  your butt and that is not okay.
• 3:03
  And you know I've seen stuff on the internet of like people having snakes or
• 3:09
  God knows what, crawl up or swim up through their plumbing in their toilet and then they get in their toilet and that, that ain't okay.
• 3:18
  But imagine you're doing your stuff and now you have a rat as part of the equation.
• 3:25
  No animal needs to be part of the bathrooming equation ever.
• 3:31
  That's my opinion, but I think most people would agree with that.
• 3:34
  And hopefully you can get the communal wiping wand from Dave.
• 3:38
  because now you've got to fight a rat while you make dirt.
• 3:42
  So we've come a long way.
• 3:44
  That rat could bite you on the butt.
• 3:46
  Lord knows that it's carrying some sort of disease.
• 3:49
  And we've come so far from that.
• 3:52
  And I'm sure that we are going to cover rats plenty as we go through, especially like, as I think about it, like sewers, but also just human waste in general.
• 4:04
  I feel like that's one of the areas that the rat
• 4:08
  population is going to interact moderately closely too.
• 4:12
  So we'll see, but in this case we have two strikes I would argue against ancient Roman public restrooms and that is the communal wiping wand and I cannot stress that it is
• 4:27
  communal and rat booty biting.
• 4:30
  So that's not great either.
• 4:33
  My dad is a little rough around the edges.
• 4:36
  Amazing soul.
• 4:37
  Love him.
• 4:38
  He just an awesome, awesome guy.
• 4:41
  for some reason, the whole topic of, and I wish he was in the podcast because he would just, he would probably binge your podcast episodes.
• 4:51
  But anything to do with the restroom and anything like that, it is so funny.
• 4:56
  So when I seen your podcast and I started listening and I'm like, man,
• 5:01
  the stories I have just from my dad, I got to share one.
• 5:05
  And so I'll go ahead and do that.
• 5:07
  And I'm just going to read it straight from the post because sometimes I, you put a camera, a phone, anything in front of me and I just start word vomiting and start saying
• 5:16
  things that I'm like, that wasn't true.
• 5:20
  But I'm just going to read it and then yeah, it's hopefully everybody will get the same enjoyment out of it as I did, but yeah.
• 5:28
  So it goes like this while shopping years ago at Home Depot and this is actually in Colorado just so you have kind of a geographical point in your mind.
• 5:38
  Yeah.
• 5:38
  He went into the restroom upon entry.
• 5:40
  He was met by a man engaged in the battle of his life dropping along from the sounds my dad described to shrapnel was flying and our dude was taking heavy fire.
• 5:50
  Man, I was like the way he described it.
• 5:52
  I was right there in there with that guy.
• 5:54
  It's like man, I'm rooting for you, bud.
• 5:57
  Then when the resounding fart noises and gasp for air subsided, our dude's worst fear happened.
• 6:02
  No TP.
• 6:03
  He heard my dad washing his hands and mustered the strength to ask for a lending hand.
• 6:08
  Dad was caught in a struggle.
• 6:10
  Rookie move not to check your surroundings and make sure you have adequate TP for your bum.
• 6:15
  Come on, dude.
• 6:16
  Wasn't even COVID era.
• 6:18
  Grace was crossing my dad's mind, but so was an opportunity for less than every man has faced.
• 6:23
  Now!
• 6:24
  You might think, wow, that's what he did next.
• 6:26
  This is, this is not a good person, but take it from the mindset of mid fifties, hard life, you know, experience, right.
• 6:35
  Hey, it's an opportunity for a lesson.
• 6:37
  And sometimes that's the greatest form of love is the Celeste.
• 6:40
  Yep.
• 6:41
  So grace was crossing my dad's mind, but so was an opportunity for less than every man has faced.
• 6:46
  Dad did both.
• 6:48
  He ripped one square from the stall's TP station next to the gentleman.
• 6:52
  and gallantly proceeded with the transaction.
• 6:54
  The man replied, come on, man.
• 6:57
  My dad walked out legendary.
• 7:00
  Man, I tell you what, I was like, he's laughing and laughing telling me.
• 7:07
  it's like, really, I don't think it was an opportunity to help the guy out.
• 7:12
  I think he just wanted to be a jokester and thought it was funny.
• 7:16
  My mind, dude, is like, what did that guy do?
• 7:20
  Did he like, did he like?
• 7:22
  cup his privates and like skedaddle to the next stall to do business or did like, I wonder what went through his mind.
• 7:29
  Yeah.
• 7:30
  Yeah, dude.
• 7:31
  It's so when I, when I was talking about like the whole running out of toilet paper debt, the haunting stories that I like have had to engage with and, and the things that I found
• 7:46
  where it's like, how did we get here?
• 7:48
  Like, you know,
• 7:50
  I was mentoring this kid and we were in the Salem mall and they have like this weird like tucked away bathroom which we always went to because it's a little more private and you
• 8:02
  know lot of these kids they like that bathroom more and you know I go in and my mentor kid kind of comes out and he's got this like look on his face and I'm like bud you okay?
• 8:11
  Like what's you know are you well?
• 8:15
  He's like
• 8:16
  I saw something super weird in the bathroom.
• 8:18
  This is like a fifth, sixth grader trying to explain this.
• 8:21
  I was like, I forget it.
• 8:22
  I said, just hang out here.
• 8:23
  go in and I'm curious.
• 8:26
  I go in and there's just a sock, dog, that's like somebody, and no toilet paper on the thing, and somebody had obviously run out of TP and just took their sock off, a black
• 8:38
  sock, and I'm like, man.
• 8:41
  So then I'm like the rest of the time I'm walking around the mall.
• 8:43
  I'm trying to like spot the dude that's got one sock on and.
• 8:47
  But yeah, dude, I, I've got so much respect for your dad doing that.
• 8:52
  Cause you know, even though it's like, yeah, help, help a homey out.
• 8:56
  It's like, he's a hundred percent right.
• 8:58
  You know, if you're, if you're at that point where it's that like, like loud and you got that much stuff happening back, back door.
• 9:07
  Like.
• 9:08
  You gotta make sure that you have something in that stall, you know?
• 9:12
  That's what I'm s- Yeah.
• 9:17
  In history, urine had so many uses that it was actually considered valuable and they would even use it in trade.
• 9:26
  It could be sold and had a high enough value that if you wanted to trade in it in ancient Rome, man, I promise we go back to ancient Rome and here we are.
• 9:36
  If you sold it, like if you wanted to collect, if old Duggie's going down to the potties with his jar or his
• 9:46
  clay pot to collect Phil and Dougie Toos' pee pee.
• 9:51
  He had to pay a tax if he wanted to sell it.
• 9:54
  Like there was enough money to be made and there was enough people doing this that they actually taxed the sale of urine, which is absolutely wild.
• 10:05
  In olden times, sheep who got sick to the tum tum, that is they got a tummy ache, were given stale human urine to drink.
• 10:13
  Now that seems whack, but
• 10:17
  It's not as whack as having those sheep and other, I would assume, other animals snort human urine up their nose to help treat lung problems.
• 10:27
  Now, that's cruel.
• 10:29
  And where this bit comes from mental floss, they also note that bees were cured with human urine.
• 10:37
  But search me on how bees were cured from human urine or from what?
• 10:44
  Like,
• 10:45
  What are bees got going on that human urine solves a problem for them?
• 10:50
  If you figured that out, shout at me, let me know.
• 10:53
  But yeah, it's the idea that they that you would take a sheep and forcibly make it snort human urine in order to treat like respiratory problems is is just a wild wild thing to
• 11:05
  me.
• 11:06
  It was also believed by the people in Rome, as noted by Columella, that stale urine would make
• 11:14
  specifically pomegranates, juicier and tastier.
• 11:19
  And bonus, I think it's technically organic, so good for them.
• 11:23
  But this is fine, we use all sorts of heinous things as fertilizer today.
• 11:27
  So like using human urine as fertilizer, I think that kind of gets passed.
• 11:31
  Like I'm okay with that.
• 11:32
  That's not like the most whack thing that's gonna go down in history.
• 11:35
  And it's definitely not the most whack thing that you're gonna hear on this podcast today.
• 11:39
  I'll guarantee you that.
• 11:41
  So, Pliny the Elder, now,
• 11:44
  Anytime anybody ever introduces a sentence with well Pliny the Elder just know that the things that are going to follow the name Pliny the Elder are probably one the poorest
• 11:57
  medical advice that you could ever give anyone ever and two some of the most whack garbage you've ever heard in your life.
• 12:03
  So Pliny the Elder who is essentially noted again for his very whack home medical remedies
• 12:13
  believed urine could treat sores, burns, butt problems, chaps skin, and bug stings and bites.
• 12:24
  The dude was rubbing pee on like all sorts of stuff.
• 12:28
  So you're out in the garden, you get stung by old bumblebee McBumblebee, you run inside and according to plenty of the elder, throw that cortisone cream in the trash because you
• 12:41
  have
• 12:42
  a bladder full of the stuff that is going to get the job done.
• 12:47
  Don't know how you're going to do it.
• 12:48
  I guess you pee on a rag and wipe it on there.
• 12:50
  But like, this is plenty of the elders' solution to getting stung by a bee.
• 12:55
  Amongst other things.
• 12:57
  What a guy.
• 13:00
  biggest human turd from historical record.
• 13:03
  The turd, to give you, now that I've told you it's big, is eight inches in length.
• 13:11
  You might hear that and go, well shoot, that's not even as long as my shoe.
• 13:14
  Like, I have for sure produced a poop as long as my shoe.
• 13:18
  The real rub is in what I'm gonna call the girth.
• 13:21
  The girth, or the width, is about two inches wide in diameter.
• 13:27
  The official name,
• 13:29
  of this log is a corprolite, corprolite, which is this term for a desiccated or dehydrated leaving.
• 13:39
  Now, it's literally turd jerky, and I imagine the log would have been even bigger than its eight inch long, two inch girth when wet.
• 13:50
  The bodacious log was studied.
• 13:52
  I should really get up in there and run scientific study on it.
• 13:57
  In an analysis of the deuce,
• 13:59
  They've concluded that whoever produced this bad boy ate meat and bread.
• 14:04
  Like, so do I.
• 14:07
  And the point is like, they probably didn't have access to as many vegetables.
• 14:12
  Archaeologists have talked about how there is like berries and nuts and fruits in that area of the world, and they don't think that this Viking was eating those.
• 14:21
  So like, what's the deal?
• 14:23
  And I think some of this is just, I mean, there might be more science to it.
• 14:27
  But think there's this assumption that when you stare at a big turd, you're like, a person who consumes animal products, Defo produced that turd from their body.
• 14:38
  And they probably ain't wrong, you know what saying?
• 14:40
  Inside this turd, they found fossilized or like preserved parasitic eggs, which scientists say means intestinal worms.
• 14:51
  And it would seem this Viking person was herby fully loaded with them.
• 14:57
  Whipworm maw worm eggs as far as the eye can see up in that guy and as one York archaeologist who actually liked a lot of work I think his last name's Andrew stated it as
• 15:09
  this this this turd this Preserved human fecal matter keep that in mind It is eight inches long and two inches in girth and the homey flat dropped it busted this noise into three
• 15:25
  pieces
• 15:26
  And then they quote, reconstructed it.
• 15:29
  Here's what begins scene.
• 15:31
  Young couple sitting at home trying to enjoy a nice plate of spaghetti.
• 15:36
  What'd you do at work today, babe?
• 15:38
  Me?
• 15:38
  I finally closed that account.
• 15:41
  I planned all of our October events and meetings and I made all my weekly phone calls.
• 15:48
  I got them done early.
• 15:49
  It's going good.
• 15:50
  How about you, dear?
• 15:53
  What did you do today at work?
• 15:55
  me?
• 15:56
  I glued a giant thousand year old Viking turd back together.
• 16:01
  That's what I did at work today.
• 16:03
  Both noble endeavors.
• 16:07
  Mr.
• 16:07
  Hankey the Christmas Poo is a holiday alternative to Santa and a character that seemed to have been written with privy in mind.
• 16:14
  If only Mr.
• 16:16
  Hankey hadn't been created 20 plus years before this pod was even a concept.
• 16:21
  And you might hear about him and you might think, where in the world did this idea come from?
• 16:26
  Like who comes up with this mess?
• 16:28
  A turd who brings you presents and wears a Santa hat and hops around the room?
• 16:34
  As with most...
• 16:35
  bathroom related characters.
• 16:36
  There's kids involved.
• 16:38
  Trey Parker, of South Park's creators, reports that his father came up with the idea similar to Mr.
• 16:47
  Hankey when he was potty training him.
• 16:49
  When Trey was little, he didn't like to flush the poop.
• 16:52
  And so his dad told him that if he forgets to flush his turd, which he called Mr.
• 16:57
  Hankey, that Mr.
• 16:59
  Hankey would come to life and attack him and possibly kill him.
• 17:02
  Now,
• 17:03
  This is not the most trauma-informed thing to say, but I bet it worked.
• 17:07
  I bet, you know, I bet it spooked him just enough for him to be like, I'm just going to flush the toilet.
• 17:12
  We don't want to visit Mr.
• 17:13
  Hankey.
• 17:14
  So he took the idea of Mr.
• 17:16
  Hankey with him throughout school, often drawing him in a sailor's hat rather than a Santa hat.
• 17:23
  They thought of making a Christmas short wherein pretty much all the plot elements contained in season one, episode nine of South Park, Mr.
• 17:31
  Hankey, the Christmas poo.
• 17:33
  would be found in this Christmas short.
• 17:35
  In fact, Mr.
• 17:37
  Hankey was probably one of the first characters conceived of for South Park.
• 17:43
  And they knew they wanted to make an adult animated comedy with four kids and a background character named Mr.
• 17:49
  Hankey, who would be a piece of talking human poop.
• 17:52
  What in the heck, Trey Parker?
• 17:54
  What a to set out on, you know?
• 17:57
  I respect the game since I'm sitting here.
• 18:00
  in my bathroom staring at my hand towel now, bag of cough drops and just thinking to myself, I'm making a podcast in my bathroom about pooping and I talked for I don't know
• 18:11
  three to five minutes at beginning about how I ate too much Marion Berry and how it set me up for uh a situation for the week and too many Cheetos weird guys.
• 18:19
  So I get the game.
• 18:20
  Someone who regularly has weird conversations explaining to people that, yeah, I do a podcast about bathrooms.
• 18:27
  I get how this idea likely went over.
• 18:30
  You want a character that's a talking piece of poop.
• 18:32
  And they're like, oh yeah, your idea sounds great.
• 18:35
  Okay, yeah.
• 18:35
  Just one question.
• 18:37
  They're a rich company who could fund and show our idea to others.
• 18:42
  How do you feel about talking poop?
• 18:45
  Record scratch.
• 18:46
  Talk of what now?
• 18:48
  Like you made a podcast about what?
• 18:50
  Why?
• 18:51
  I get it.
• 18:51
  When they originally pitched the idea of the show, Fox was originally on board, but they pulled out due to the idea
• 18:58
  of having a talking poop character.
• 19:00
  They pitched ideas all over and when Fox stuck by it and pulled out, Comedy Central was open to the idea of Mr.
• 19:08
  Hankey because for the duo, it the inclusion of Mr.
• 19:13
  Hankey was a deal breaker.
• 19:16
  If Fox couldn't accept Mr.
• 19:17
  Hankey, then we're going somewhere else.
• 19:19
  Originally, Mr.
• 19:21
  Hankey was written as a figment of Kyle's imagination.
• 19:24
  But the creative team at South Park always felt this would diminish him as a character.
• 19:29
  Much like Snuffleufagus was only an imaginary friend to Big Bird and wasn't a quote real quote character.
• 19:37
  And so they chose to make Mr.
• 19:39
  Hankey real, tangible, not just living in the mind of Kyle.
• 19:44
  Which is why most people can see him by the end of the episode.
• 19:46
  He's a thing.
• 19:47
  He's just another character.
• 19:49
  And in reading up on the episode, the episode is like also noted as special because it is
• 19:54
  Apparently the first episode in which Kenny is not killed that's wild since again This is episode 9 and it would seem that Kenny dying is like a running gag of the show I don't
• 20:04
  know and the fans of South Park out there are like screaming to themselves They're like this idiot doesn't he get it.
• 20:11
  It's it but like no I don't so apparently Kenny dies a lot, which is dark because it's a kid and Has apparently done so eight times by the time mr..
• 20:21
  Hankey makes his debut
• 20:23
  Mr.
• 20:23
  Hankey is credited with being one of the earliest episodes that gives the show a rise in popularity, so much so that they actually produced Mr.
• 20:31
  Hankey stuffed turds, like stuffed animals, but they're shaped like Mr.
• 20:35
  Hankey's.
• 20:36
  What?
• 20:37
  I if you can still buy one of these.
• 20:38
  I'm gonna Google it here real quick.
• 20:40
  I gotta look this up.
• 20:41
  I gotta look this up, just a second.
• 20:42
  Holy suck.
• 20:44
  You can buy a Mr.
• 20:45
  Hankey the Christmas poo Funko pop.
• 20:48
  for $35.
• 20:49
  There's a Mr.
• 20:50
  Hankey the Christmas Pooh ornament and shirts.
• 20:53
  Oh my gosh.
• 20:56
  So this is a thing and they still have a lot of merchandise available promoting and showing off Mr.
• 21:02
  Hankey.
• 21:05
  Which brings us to another of my favorite facts about Disney's Magic Kingdom, and the Disney World as a whole.
• 21:13
  And to talk about that, we've got to talk about Reedy Creek.
• 21:16
  The Reedy Creek Improvement District is the result of the Walt Disney Company's dream to build a recreational-oriented development on a huge piece of land in central Florida.
• 21:29
  We know that as Disney World.
• 21:31
  But before Disney's plans...
• 21:33
  and Reedy Creek's invention, the tract of land that they're looking at, it's just like, it's remote farmland and swamp and lowland.
• 21:43
  There's nothing there, it's swamp.
• 21:45
  I talked to my dad, I was like, dad, have you ever heard of Reedy Creek?
• 21:49
  And he told me, like, yeah, I think so.
• 21:51
  And I was talking to him, I was like, when you were growing up as a kid, do you remember like when Disney moved in?
• 21:58
  And he was telling me, he's like, yeah, where they're at, it was just swamp, like there's nothing else.
• 22:03
  And that's because at the time, the nearest power, like the nearest electricity service was more than 10 miles away.
• 22:12
  The property itself lies in two different counties and it was vacant.
• 22:18
  And in the mid 1960s, Disney over there in California, they looked at Florida and said, yes, this swamp will do.
• 22:26
  And while the residents of Florida, like Shrek may have often been shouting for them to get out of their swamp,
• 22:32
  Disney said, nay verily, we're going to plant ourselves deep into our swamp, my shrekish friend.
• 22:39
  Disney and, I mean, myself, because I was there, celebrated their 50th anniversary of Walt Disney World.
• 22:47
  But we've got to ask, like, how did Disney go from nothing, no power, no roads, nothing?
• 22:54
  It's not even sewer lines, no infrastructure in sight, to the literal Disney world in such short amount of time.
• 23:01
  And again,
• 23:02
  The answer is Reedy Creek.
• 23:04
  Because when Disney approached the state of Florida and the government about their plans, Florida kind of went like, mm-mm.
• 23:12
  And so they worked with Disney.
• 23:13
  They're like, we don't know how you're going to do this, but man, we want it.
• 23:19
  Like, obviously we want this here.
• 23:21
  It's going to drive tourism like woofy.
• 23:24
  You wouldn't believe it.
• 23:25
  And so they worked with the Disney company.
• 23:27
  The Florida government worked with the Disney company
• 23:31
  to invent a special tax and improvement district that has the same authority and responsibility of a county government.
• 23:40
  Thus, the Reedy Creek Improvement District, now 55 years old, was how Disney was able to move forward.
• 23:48
  In it, those inside the Reedy Creek District, those who would live and reside inside the Reedy Creek area, would be responsible for paying the taxes of the district.
• 23:58
  So even if you live in
• 24:00
  Either of the two counties that Reedy Creek encompasses, if you aren't inside Reedy Creek, you don't pay the Reedy Creek tax.
• 24:08
  This goes for businesses as well.
• 24:10
  So the Walt Disney Company is going to one day with all of their properties be paying some hefty tax.
• 24:17
  While we're at Disney, we're doing back, they were doing back lot work on the roads.
• 24:23
  Siri just totally roped us royal and took us on a back road to the Magic Kingdom.
• 24:28
  And it's Reedy Creek that does that work or that at least hires it done.
• 24:32
  Nowadays, Reedy Creek maintains 134 miles of road, 67 miles of waterway.
• 24:41
  150,000 people visit Reedy Creek District every day.
• 24:46
  They deal with 30 tons of aluminum paper, steel cans and cardboard and plastic and...
• 24:53
  There's mixed reports, some say this is a year, some say this is a day, I would argue it doesn't matter, that's a lot of crap.
• 24:58
  And, most importantly, they manage 60,000 tons of waste water, often actually filled with crap.
• 25:05
  And some of the- And so when I hit flush, once it gets through Disney's piping, Reedy Creek is on the hook for my turrets.
• 25:15
  things that really bother me.
• 25:17
  I mean, you used to leave the toilet seat up, but I fell in the toilet one time and then I screamed at you and you stopped.
• 25:22
  Yeah, I didn't grow up.
• 25:23
  like I said, my bathroom situation growing up was pretty much the exact polar opposite from yours, where there were a total of three people in my home and two bathrooms.
• 25:33
  And so I had my own bathroom pretty much my whole life unless somebody came over to visit.
• 25:39
  Right.
• 25:39
  So, uh, do whatever I wanted with that toilet seat.
• 25:43
  And then I lived in a dorm with a bunch of guys, who cares what goes on in there.
• 25:47
  um So it was probably when we lived in the apartment that I learned these lessons.
• 25:52
  Yes, you did.
• 25:53
  You learned very quickly because I was like, you gotta put that seat down, fell into the toilet in the middle of the night when I don't have my glasses.
• 25:59
  Dunked your donut.
• 26:00
  And you can't see without your glasses.
• 26:03
  This is true.
• 26:04
  I cannot see.
• 26:05
  My sister makes fun of me with that same exact thing as you do.
• 26:08
  Well, Scooby Doo has handed us just
• 26:11
  The best phrase to make fun of people with glasses.
• 26:15
  I mean, you don't even have to think of it.
• 26:17
  It's already done.
• 26:17
  Have you ever dropped your glasses in the toilet?
• 26:20
  No, never.
• 26:21
  Never dropped my glasses in the toilet.
• 26:23
  They stay firmly attached to my face.
• 26:25
  Yeah, but you also take them off sometimes.
• 26:28
  So, like, have you ever taken them off?
• 26:31
  I guess you're sitting.
• 26:32
  Never mind.
• 26:33
  I live in a different world.
• 26:34
  Yeah, I wonder...
• 26:35
  Hmm.
• 26:36
  I doubt anybody who wears glasses and is a man.
• 26:40
  has ever dropped them into the urinal.
• 26:42
  Oh, so...
• 26:42
  But they're standing.
• 26:44
  They might.
• 26:45
  They're pretty, like, glasses are snug on your face.
• 26:48
  Well...
• 26:49
  Because they don't want them to fall.
• 26:50
  They even have you, like, tip your head down and shake your face to see if they will fall off and then they tighten them.
• 26:55
  Well, I'm glad that I don't and will not ever need glasses, so...
• 26:58
  Says you, you have an appointment on Wednesday.
• 27:00
  Yeah, but that's just a formality.
• 27:03
  We'll see.
• 27:03
  So, the other thing that I wanted to catch before we get too much farther here is...
• 27:09
  What was your response when I told you what this podcast was?
• 27:14
  Because we were, I started recording this when we were in our single bathroom house.
• 27:20
  Yep, you did.
• 27:21
  And if you go back and listen to those episodes, the audio quality, it sounds like I recorded it inside of a dumpster, but that's because I didn't know how to plug a
• 27:30
  microphone in right.
• 27:32
  So what were your thoughts?
• 27:33
  Like I said, Hey, I'm going to do a podcast about toilets.
• 27:38
  Initially.
• 27:39
  It didn't sound too far off from things that you're interested in.
• 27:42
  I was kind of like, okay.
• 27:44
  And then I asked if you were going to do them in public places, which you thought you were.
• 27:48
  And I was very adamant that you check and make sure that that was legal.
• 27:52
  Yeah.
• 27:52
  And it's not.
• 27:53
  Well, it's not that it's not.
• 27:55
  It's just it, it has the potential to be problematic for you.
• 28:02
  Just say for free to do it in the bathroom.
• 28:04
  Yeah, but I'm working on it.
• 28:06
  Don't get yourself arrested.
• 28:07
  Yeah, why am gonna get arrested?
• 28:09
  People ain't gonna arrest me for that.
• 28:10
  Don't get yourself kicked out of stores.
• 28:12
  Well, no, but I would get permission.
• 28:16
  I mean, or you could just record in our bathroom and that's totally fine.
• 28:19
  Yeah, but I will tell you this, there was a thrill when I was at Disney World and I'm in those bathrooms with my phone recording.
• 28:28
  It was invigorating.
• 28:32
  How did people come to believe that Thomas Crapper was the inventor of the flush toilet?
• 28:37
  It sounds like it could be a thing of really misleading marketing, but as the tale goes, there were some American military servicemen stationed in England in World War One.
• 28:49
  They go to the bathroom to leave their bathrooming and they look on the fixtures and they see Thomas Crapper and company that old brandings back again, branded on all the toilets
• 28:59
  and cisterns they were using.
• 29:02
  And they began to use the term crapper as slang for taking a dump, taking a crap.
• 29:08
  But here's the deal.
• 29:10
  Thomas Crapper didn't invent the flush toilet.
• 29:13
  And he isn't the reason for the word crap either.
• 29:16
  The word crap has a 15th century tie referring to things that are unwanted amongst what is good, such as weeds amongst corn crops or residue from rendering food or metals.
• 29:29
  It is likely
• 29:30
  from the Middle English use of another word, the term crappie or crappie, which sounds like crop, food crop, but refers to the not good portions of that food crop, which would
• 29:41
  be trodden underfoot, the crappie or crappie.
• 29:46
  This would also often be referred to as shaft.
• 29:49
  It's the parts you don't want.
• 29:51
  Likely Thomas Crapper's name is at some point either a misspelling or a purposeful misspelling of a family name.
• 30:00
  of the name Cropper, C-R-O-P-P-E-R, P-P-E-R, having farmers at some point in the family.
• 30:08
  So it could be said that though the word quote crap does not come from Thomas Crapper, Thomas Crapper's name may derive from crap.
• 30:19
  It was not used as a term for defecating until 1846.
• 30:24
  And even then it was likely used to refer to the stuff in the bowl, the crap itself.
• 30:30
  being the thing you got rid of but didn't want rather than making it a verb.
• 30:34
  The toilet itself is not referred to as, quote, a crapper until the 1930s, the aforementioned American military servicemen story I shared with you.
• 30:45
  And all this because old Tommy had to leave his name on everything he made.
• 30:51
  And some Yankee found it and started calling toilets crappers as a joke and it stuck.
• 30:57
  Thomas Crapper did not invent the term crap.
• 31:00
  Is not the reason the toilet is called a crapper.
• 31:04
  And he did not invent the flush toilet, but he did make it better.
• 31:09
  And some of his improvements are still used widely in home and industrial plumbing today.
• 31:15
  But as for who invented the flush toilet, that's for another episode.
• 31:21
  In the summer of 1858, weather provided the final straw for this camel's back.
• 31:27
  June, London, 1858.
• 31:30
  They had a particular heat wave and dry spell that caused the water level of the Thames to go down, leaving exposed human sludge on the banks and in part of the bed of the river.
• 31:44
  Couple that with the record high temperatures there at the time, mid-90s in the shade,
• 31:49
  and over 115 in the sun.
• 31:51
  Preach!
• 31:52
  I feel that!
• 31:53
  I felt that today.
• 31:55
  I was gonna take my children to a park today and I looked at the thing and it said 99 degrees and I went, you know what's better than a park right now?
• 32:04
  Air condition.
• 32:04
  Like I'm all for kids getting outside and playing, but when it's 100 degrees, like no, it's just not worth it.
• 32:11
  Like somebody's gonna come keel over about that.
• 32:14
  You know what saying?
• 32:15
  But this insanely high temperatures in London at the time,
• 32:18
  resulted in what the people of London and later the world would call the Great Stink.
• 32:24
  It was so bad.
• 32:26
  Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, famous lovers, cancelled the trip to the river because they couldn't bear the polluted air.
• 32:34
  Like, it was so stinky they cancelled their vacation.
• 32:38
  The Great Stink was so great they actually saw a pause in parliamentary meetings.
• 32:43
  It shut down the government.
• 32:45
  Again, the remedy was powdered lime in the substance, not the delicious fruit.
• 32:50
  At one point, they were pouring 250 tons of powdered lime into the river to shut down the smell.
• 32:58
  Within weeks of the great stink, government at the time passed a bill saying that dumping of sewage and waste had to happen outside the boundaries of the city.
• 33:09
  Voila!
• 33:10
  And to remedy the stink in the city.
• 33:13
  Over time they went about an infrastructure rehaul to do away with the piles of turds that had become a part of their lives.
• 33:21
  Now we're going to talk about this stink and the purpose of stink here in a second.
• 33:26
  We got to get philosophical with it.
• 33:28
  But one engineer, Bazalgett, Bazalgett, Bazalgett, Bazinga came up with the sewage solution rerouting
• 33:41
  the already present lines, sewage lines, to dump outside of the city.
• 33:47
  It took over 15 years to complete this sewer system rehaul.
• 33:52
  But the sewage and the waste no longer ending up on the banks of the city solved the problem of the great stink and more importantly, showed a market decrease in cholera cases
• 34:06
  in the area.
• 34:07
  little get is a bazalget.
• 34:11
  Basil Gitt is a hero of London, known for how he rerouted turds to save lives.
• 34:19
  His sewer system, or at least parts of it, is still in operation today and serves a population of over 8 million people.
• 34:27
  What a rad dude.
• 34:28
  And I want to note here the purpose of stink is the problem existed prior to the stink.
• 34:34
  But as is most cases when there is stink, the stink exists to alert you of a danger or a bad thing lurking just out of reach.
• 34:46
  And so the next time you smell big smell somewhere, it's probably something letting you know that there's something going on somewhere with something, as was the case with the
• 34:56
  River Thames in 1850s London.
• 35:01
  I remember I myself urinated on his car.
• 35:05
  Yeah, I think on the door handler.
• 35:08
  There was a lot of urination.
• 35:09
  There was definitely some poop on his car and it's been 10 years and I'm.
• 35:14
  I think the statute anyway, we're good.
• 35:17
  Probably the one that could speak to it.
• 35:19
  He's like shaking it.
• 35:20
  No stuff.
• 35:21
  But so we we did this good thing, but he was gone out of town.
• 35:25
  He was OK.
• 35:27
  I thought we told him.
• 35:29
  someone told him I didn't.
• 35:31
  You're going to live in and you're going to park your car there.
• 35:33
  You got to expect something.
• 35:34
  I could have swore like we told him dude we're going to on your car.
• 35:39
  It was not a mystery.
• 35:40
  I think we did.
• 35:41
  percent.
• 35:42
  Yes he was really.
• 35:44
  Well yeah this is not nice.
• 35:45
  mean this is not nice.
• 35:47
  We told him like this will happen.
• 35:49
  Yeah.
• 35:50
  And it did.
• 35:51
  And he went out of town on a cross country like meet.
• 35:55
  And so my dude's car was parked there for
• 35:58
  four or five days didn't move and this turd just sat like just above his I think was his hood.
• 36:05
  Is this almost summertime when it happened or what what season are we talking?
• 36:09
  was rainy.
• 36:10
  Rainy.
• 36:11
  OK, OK.
• 36:11
  OK, so I have a totally different recollection.
• 36:14
  OK, see this is this.
• 36:16
  Because I remember going on the morning because I was like, dude, do we this up?
• 36:20
  Like because this is just like this in a message like I'll clean it up like I'm fine cleaning it up.
• 36:23
  It was gone.
• 36:24
  It the rain had washed it off.
• 36:26
  That's my record.
• 36:27
  I don't think you I don't think you look that closely.
• 36:29
  No, I like there's there's nothing because someone else did another car like the basketball players kind of got carried away.
• 36:35
  Everything was cleaned up.
• 36:36
  Everything.
• 36:37
  See, that's interesting.
• 36:38
  So maybe I have the other car in my brain as this car.
• 36:42
  Well, then the question is who cleaned it up?
• 36:44
  We have no idea.
• 36:45
  It wasn't me.
• 36:46
  It me.
• 36:47
  Was it me?
• 36:49
  So as I as I remembered it, one car, apparently two got hit.
• 36:53
  breaking news.
• 36:54
  The rain had washed one of these turds down onto the rest of the car and like an elation.
• 37:01
  Yeah.
• 37:01
  And where it was positioned, everybody that walked to the gym had to walk right by these cars.
• 37:06
  Just look at that.
• 37:08
  And Chad and I just would look out our window like.
• 37:13
  Are there cameras yet?
• 37:14
  Like, have they caught on?
• 37:16
  So the way fast forward a few months.
• 37:20
  So Ana and I were dating.
• 37:22
  And her roommate at the time began to date John.
• 37:26
  this is where the story got wild because, you know, her roommate began to talk to her like, yeah, a few months back, a bunch of guys pooped on my boyfriend's car.
• 37:36
  was awful.
• 37:37
  Like, and so on is telling me she's like, can you believe people would do that?
• 37:41
  Who would do that?
• 37:42
  So you're like staring at my girl like soon to be fiancee like.
• 37:48
  Yeah, that's that's really whack.
• 37:53
  And she knows like she can she can just sense like this guy.
• 37:58
  What did you do?
• 37:59
  And I said, I only contributed wet to it.
• 38:02
  uh And so the word got around, but it got around via his girlfriend and they're married and I believe California now.
• 38:10
  So congrats to them.
• 38:13
  Sorry about your car.
• 38:14
  Sorry about that.
• 38:17
  Don't park there again.
• 38:19
  Yeah, I think it stopped message sent and received.
• 38:22
  But see, that's why I thought he someone either had to have told him or he saw it because he filled his girlfriend in on this.
• 38:29
  Yeah.
• 38:31
  So that's why in my brain it washed down the front of his car and he like maybe I remember I remember looking with a bunch of guys and like there was nothing like.
• 38:41
  We're going to go clean up.
• 38:42
  Yeah, we should.
• 38:44
  We could have missed it.
• 38:45
  Well, or the rain had washed it so far.
• 38:48
  Yeah.
• 38:49
  Yeah, yeah.
• 38:50
  That could have happened.
• 38:51
  No, really.
• 38:52
  Like, yeah, we told them.
• 38:53
  There's no mystery about it.
• 38:55
  So they did.
• 38:56
  You you need to move your car.
• 38:57
  Yeah.
• 38:58
  Like here is the step A, step B.
• 39:02
  So he never knew who did it, though, when he told his girlfriend.
• 39:05
  No.
• 39:05
  And though, like we had told him, like, hey, man, we're moving your car.
• 39:10
  think the way I understood is we told him, hey, I mean, wasn't.
• 39:16
  Somebody told him that, hey, this is going to happen.
• 39:20
  And I think he just was like, well, I guess somebody did it, but like it wasn't them because then I would know it was them.
• 39:25
  You know, I don't know.
• 39:27
  So, yeah, that's the way to hide it's plain sight.
• 39:32
  So the first Santa, I'm curious, what type of toilet paper do you or you and Mrs.
• 39:38
  Claus use at the North Pole?
• 39:41
  The same as everybody else uses?
• 39:42
  Charmin, the only Chinese.
• 39:44
  Charmin.
• 39:46
  That's how we pronounce it.
• 39:47
  This is why.
• 39:47
  This is why when you were three, I didn't get you the toy that you asked for.
• 39:52
  Okay?
• 39:53
  The little Tommy figure that you were wanting.
• 39:56
  Tommy the turbo trank?
• 39:58
  Tavo the turbo trank.
• 40:00
  Tank.
• 40:01
  Pink not Trank.
• 40:02
  What was that?
• 40:03
  That was a slip.
• 40:04
  Maybe I asked for the wrong one.
• 40:06
  Maybe you did because you couldn't pronounce it right.
• 40:08
  That's probably why.
• 40:10
  knew Santa checked my spelling.
• 40:11
  knew you were.
• 40:12
  I do.
• 40:12
  I always do.
• 40:13
  You hear that Gotta be perfect.
• 40:15
  Pay attention in school.
• 40:17
  Stay in school.
• 40:18
  So the big beautiful bears.
• 40:21
  Do they?
• 40:22
  I see you seem distraught by my toilet paper choice.
• 40:26
  I just think.
• 40:27
  What is wrong with
• 40:29
  Oh, there's nothing wrong with Charmin, I think it's very high end, but...
• 40:32
  Oh, you're saying I'm too uppity-icy?
• 40:35
  Okay!
• 40:36
  I was just, like...
• 40:38
  I was wondering if there was enough snow at North Pole where you wouldn't even need it, but...
• 40:42
  I think we've kind of resolved that.
• 40:44
  Yeah, no, there's lots of snow up there, but it doesn't feel so...
• 40:49
  hot?
• 40:50
  You could say?
• 40:51
  It's a little...
• 40:52
  cold?
• 40:52
  A little icy?
• 40:53
  A little icy?
• 40:54
  I've never really enjoyed the icy bung.
• 40:57
  Okay, hey, that's fair.
• 40:59
  And it sounds like Mrs.
• 41:00
  Claus doesn't either.
• 41:01
  Definitely not.
• 41:03
  I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna your wife.
• 41:06
  I'm gonna involve your wife as often as I can.
• 41:08
  Do you and Mrs.
• 41:09
  Claus fold over or under?
• 41:11
  You can interpret this however you want.
• 41:13
  There's only one way.
• 41:15
  It always goes over.
• 41:17
  Always.
• 41:17
  Always flows over.
• 41:19
  There's no other way to do it.
• 41:21
  Over.
• 41:21
  I think the trend on this- Under?
• 41:23
  You're not very smart.
• 41:24
  Well, over.
• 41:26
  The real question is,
• 41:28
  If somebody's putting it under, let's say that there was a person on this planet who was putting it under.
• 41:33
  That's it.
• 41:35
  They're obviously on the naughty list.
• 41:36
  Oh, but like, that like a deal breaker?
• 41:39
  Is that like?
• 41:40
  Of course it's a deal breaker.
• 41:43
  I will change it.
• 41:44
  You don't know how many bathrooms I've been in and I've changed the toilet paper roll because of this incident this year.
• 41:50
  Because you had to use a lot of toilet I had to use a lot of toilet paper and not everybody subscribes to Charmin.
• 41:55
  That's true.
• 41:56
  Which is unfortunate for me and my...
• 42:00
  Bleeding...
• 42:01
  I'll leave it there, nevermind.
• 42:02
  Talking about Red Bag Charmin or Blue Bag Charmin?
• 42:05
  They're the same.
• 42:06
  No, but Red Bag's like thicker and Blue Bag is softer.
• 42:10
  I don't think I've ever noticed.
• 42:11
  Okay.
• 42:12
  The big beautiful bears.
• 42:13
  The big beautiful bears.
• 42:15
  Santa, when you shower yourself, do you use bar soap or liquid soap?
• 42:20
  Bar soap.
• 42:22
  All day.
• 42:22
  Bar soap.
• 42:23
  And alufa.
• 42:26
  Loofa made out of in the North Pole.
• 42:28
  Is it just like a loofah like everybody else has?
• 42:30
  Yes.
• 42:31
  Yes.
• 42:32
  Is.
• 42:32
  And pinecones.
• 42:34
  That's how I get rid of some of the excessive skin flakes.
• 42:38
  Okay.
• 42:39
  Santa's skin suit.
• 42:41
  Do you, Santa, do you ever...
• 42:46
  Do you ever carve messages in the bar soap for Mrs.
• 42:49
  Claus or any of the elves?
• 42:51
  I carve certain rocket ships sometimes.
• 42:55
  Do the rocket ships have Mickey Mouse ears?
• 42:57
  Yes, yes they do.
• 42:59
  And is that an exhaust launch to see, you know.
• 43:02
  But the exhaust is coming out of the end.
• 43:04
  Is that for Mrs.
• 43:05
  Claus or the elves?
• 43:06
  Yes.
• 43:07
  Okay.
• 43:08
  Hey, if you're one of Santa's elves and you're listening and you need help, privycast at gmail.com.
• 43:15
  Santa, what scent of soap do you use?
• 43:17
  What scent is that bar of soap?
• 43:19
  That scent is cedar.
• 43:22
  One of my favorite smells, you know, like that pencil shaving smell.
• 43:26
  Yeah.
• 43:27
  Really good.
• 43:28
  like that.
• 43:29
  Fresh wood.
• 43:32
  Ancient Egypt.
• 43:33
  In fact, this is the statement of this procedure taken from the Berlin medical papyrus, which was written about 1350 BC.
• 43:42
  So this one goes way back.
• 43:44
  It says barley wheat, let the woman water the woman water them with her urine every day with dates and the sand in two bags.
• 43:55
  If both bags grow, she will bear.
• 43:58
  She's pregnant.
• 43:59
  That's my note there.
• 44:00
  If the barley grows, it means that is a male child.
• 44:03
  If the wheat grows, it means a female child.
• 44:06
  If both do not grow, she will not bear a child.
• 44:10
  So in other words, you pee on the grains and whatever one sprouts tells you if you're going to have a kid or not.
• 44:15
  The belief was the things that are like inside the woman, which make a baby grow, would be passed and would cause plants to grow in the context of seeds and plant material.
• 44:27
  No, like we have to move past that.
• 44:30
  But even though these ancient Egyptian pregnancy tests were not entirely accurate, the Egyptians were onto something because the Egyptians had it more square than the Greeks who
• 44:41
  came after them.
• 44:42
  So the Greek philosopher and medical great grandfather Hippocrates suggested an altogether different treatment or a different way of detecting pregnancy.
• 44:53
  Parents, if you had kids, you might want to hop forward, call it four minutes, we'll do that.
• 45:00
  Hippocrates thought that if a woman believed themselves to be pregnant, they would be encouraged to stick an onion or other strong smelling vegetable up their lady zone.
• 45:14
  The vaginal cavity.
• 45:15
  When they go to bed for the night, the belief was that if their breath smelled like that vegetable in the morning, they'd be pregnant.
• 45:24
  Now, I'm not a doctor.
• 45:26
  I can't stress this enough.
• 45:27
  This is one of those episodes where I have to tell you like big branding iron just Hunter's not a doctor.
• 45:32
  I'm not a doctor.
• 45:33
  I'm not a scientist.
• 45:34
  Never purported to be.
• 45:36
  But I don't think you have to be either of those things to say this.
• 45:40
  Bet those ladies ain't getting much sleep that night.
• 45:43
  Like you get a full bulbous onion just yoinked fully up your zone like friggin mitful onion.
• 45:50
  And yeah right like you ain't getting much sleep.
• 45:55
  God forbid you get a spicier vegetable, like holy goodness.
• 45:58
  In the 1500s, a collection of women's medical lore called the Dysstaph Gospels stated a woman could pee in a basin and put a latch into the basin.
• 46:09
  And then in a few hours when they remove the pee, there would be a marking or an imprintation of the latch on the bottom of the basin.
• 46:16
  Here again, we see the assumption that the woman's pee when pregnant is significantly changed to impact the metal on this test.
• 46:24
  In other words, does the pee react with the metal in so much that it causes it to like stain or burn into the bottom of this basin?
• 46:33
  It's weird, but like it might have worked.
• 46:38
  I been researching Portland loos and here just right on my doorstep just just such like a gift is a trip to Portland and I'm sitting here going I'm going to be kicking myself I'm
• 46:50
  going to I'm not gonna be able to sleep well if my fat duff goes all the way up to the crap hole that is Portland I don't investigate a loo like it had to be done and so my
• 47:03
  wife's a very patient woman
• 47:04
  because one of the things that is said on the way up to the zoo is, hey, after we're done with the zoo, I need to make a pit stop.
• 47:12
  where?
• 47:13
  I need to go find one of these Portland Lou's.
• 47:15
  I gotta go check it out for myself.
• 47:17
  And of course, you know, my wife obliges, she's, she's a very patient woman.
• 47:21
  And so we go to the zoo, we do our zoo thing, and then we get in the car and I'm like, okay, I've done some research.
• 47:26
  I know there's a Portland Lou within 10 minutes of the zoo.
• 47:30
  We gotta go hit it up.
• 47:31
  And so,
• 47:32
  We visited the Portland Lou at the waterfront park.
• 47:36
  don't know that remember the name of the park.
• 47:37
  It's got a guy's name attached to it.
• 47:39
  It's not important.
• 47:39
  And you know, we're driving and I can't spot it.
• 47:43
  can't spot it.
• 47:43
  And then I see it.
• 47:44
  This, this wonderful little silver gray box.
• 47:48
  So I make an illegal U-turn and I, and I parallel park and I Jay walk across the road.
• 47:54
  We're just breaking all the laws here and I get over there.
• 47:58
  And the first thing that strikes me as I approach this Lou,
• 48:01
  is behind the loo almost sharing a wall is a porta potty like they the city has brought in a porta potty now i'm sitting here thinking to myself this could mean one of two things
• 48:14
  either there's something going on with this loo or the the foot traffic may i may i say butt traffic of this loo has become so great that they have to have they have had to
• 48:28
  install a porta potty
• 48:30
  Either way I'm sitting here thinking, doesn't that kind of like bode negatively for the effectiveness of these lews?
• 48:37
  But I digress.
• 48:38
  I approach the lew, I come around the corner, and if you want to see all this, it'll be all in this privy social.
• 48:44
  I'll put the, yeah.
• 48:46
  But I approach and I pull the door open, and I am just met with the most fecal spread hellscape I have ever seen in my entire life.
• 48:56
  I once stepped in a lake of backed up septic.
• 49:00
  at my previous job.
• 49:01
  Go find that episode.
• 49:02
  can, I quit being a janitor.
• 49:04
  think it's what it's called, but this Portland Lou is wall to wall graffiti inside and wall to wall floor, almost to ceiling covered in human waste, poop everywhere, everywhere.
• 49:22
  I opened the door and I looked down and there was just turd sludge just right next to my feet.
• 49:30
  And I went, Oh my gosh, I took pictures.
• 49:33
  I took some photos and I got the heck out of there.
• 49:37
  Toilet was, I was originally, told my wife when I got back in the car, was like, you know, I had made plans to sit on this toilet seat and like take a picture and like do the whole
• 49:45
  thing.
• 49:45
  There was no sitting on the toilet seat.
• 49:48
  The waste products have come up and out of the toilet seat and are like sitting inches above.
• 49:55
  The toilet was so clogged.
• 49:57
  that the city of Portland just gave up on cleaning it and fixing the toilet and installed a porta potty.
• 50:03
  And you might ask yourself, and I cannot stress enough, this is not to disparage the people at Madden Fabrication.
• 50:10
  This ain't their fault.
• 50:11
  It's the city of Portland's fault.
• 50:12
  Like I would say maybe the people use this thing, but when it says like anti-crime and like it can't be vandalized, that only goes so far.
• 50:22
  Like there was vandalism all up in it.
• 50:26
  This thing hadn't been cleaned in ages.
• 50:29
  It was one of the most foul bathrooms I have ever seen in my entire life.
• 50:34
  And I only, I just went to one at random.
• 50:36
  Like who knows what the others are like, but it doesn't bode well.
• 50:39
  Like the law of averages is like they're just as bad.
• 50:42
  A Portland Lou, wall to wall with fecal matter.
• 50:46
  This has been Hunter's Anecdote to keep you afloat.
• 50:52
  We know how much you love your honey buckets and their suggestion is essentially this.
• 50:56
  If you have the means of digging an outhouse, you should definitely do that.
• 51:02
  Like we know the ground is very frosty.
• 51:05
  We know it's hard.
• 51:06
  We know that like you're going to bust your shovel on this bee, but if you have a way of digging an outhouse or privy pit, you should definitely go for that.
• 51:14
  But if you can't, or if you just love the honey buckets so much, which by the way,
• 51:20
  The honey bucket's such a special name, or, you know, you want to stick, Doug wants to stick to his roots and use the honey bucket.
• 51:27
  You don't, you don't know where you came from son, unless you drop a stack in the honey bucket.
• 51:32
  Well then you need to dispose of the honey bucket.
• 51:35
  You know, Doug wants to go back to his roots and, and poop in, the honey bucket.
• 51:40
  Like honey, like what do you call the turds once they're in the honey bucket that you have to dump?
• 51:45
  Do you call them your honey?
• 51:47
  I gotta go dump.
• 51:48
  Hey babe, I gotta go dump the honey tonight.
• 51:49
  don't like, but here's the short and sweet of the Alaska.gov summation of the honey bucket dumping.
• 51:57
  Quit dumping it in the water.
• 51:58
  Like stop it.
• 52:00
  Quit.
• 52:00
  One thing they suggest is that if you and your neighbors can all agree and figure it out, you can dig a honey bucket trench.
• 52:07
  So good.
• 52:08
  What's a honey bucket trench you ask?
• 52:10
  Well, I think you know.
• 52:11
  You know how like we've talked about how they used to have like crap.
• 52:15
  gutters in cities and they would just like rinse the turds down the middle of the city in the gutter.
• 52:20
  Well it's essentially like that but they're not really rinsing it more as they're just using this as the dumping grounds for the honey in the honey buckets.
• 52:28
  You essentially dig a trench and you put your honey into it.
• 52:32
  They say you can dig one but be smart about it.
• 52:35
  Dig one at a time and when it's full you should cover it with about a foot of extra soil in order to allow for settling.
• 52:44
  Like you just go out and you're just walking around.
• 52:46
  You know, they don't tell you that when people schedule these Alaskan excursions where they're going out into the wilderness.
• 52:54
  They don't talk about how they're just walking along and they look over and say, what are those cool looking mounds on the ground?
• 52:59
  That's where people have buried their turds and have thus buried it in order to finally deal with it.
• 53:05
  Just walking around Alaskan, seeing a bunch of poo mounds.
• 53:08
  It's so prominent that many waste disposal sites in Alaska actually just
• 53:13
  have honey bucket trenches built in in periods of high snow and rainfall where flooding has occurred, these trenches wash out.
• 53:22
  Not good, very bad.
• 53:23
  You want the human turds to stay where the human turds were placed because if you then have a surprise return of the human turds, that's bad.
• 53:32
  You don't want that.
• 53:32
  Like for instance, there is a lake of filth below me.
• 53:36
  I'm in a port of honey.
• 53:37
  If you didn't catch that.
• 53:39
  And like if this seat cracks or something
• 53:43
  really go south like there's a tank I pray to Jesus that this tank doesn't like you know it's not used to holding a 250 pound dude on it for more than five ten minutes probably
• 53:55
  and here I am sitting aloof but if it cracks there's gonna be dookie everywhere in here and I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna evacuate this thing real fast just saying
• 54:08
  There came a point in history where we as people wanted to understand how things worked.
• 54:18
  And when it comes to human anatomy and human function, the way we underwent discovering how things worked is we began to cut people open and study what was inside them.
• 54:32
  We've talked briefly about some of the religious and ethical things that had to get passed.
• 54:38
  to get to the point where we can dissect a deceased human.
• 54:42
  But as they did so, they began to find out how things worked.
• 54:47
  1830, Sir Astley Paston Cooper, an accomplished surgeon, published a work called Observations on the Structure and Diseases of the Testes for non-medical following
• 55:03
  listeners at home.
• 55:04
  That's the net.
• 55:05
  This was the first time
• 55:07
  much medical attention was given to that area.
• 55:12
  Specifically, he studied the tube that is the topic of conversation this week, the VAS deference.
• 55:22
  Hey, thanks, bud.
• 55:23
  Hey, really got a good look up in there.
• 55:25
  Thanks for checking everything out.
• 55:27
  He really got underneath the hood.
• 55:29
  Cooper performed several experimental surgeries on dogs to investigate the anatomy for this.
• 55:37
  The wild thought is, a person dies, a man dies, and Sir Astley Paston Cooper is like, may I dice and slice that dead body?
• 55:47
  I really need to check out his zone.
• 55:50
  Goes in, finds this tube, and he says, you know what?
• 55:53
  I think I need to do.
• 55:55
  I think I need to go.
• 55:56
  I think I need to go do this to a dog.
• 55:58
  Such a wild thought.
• 56:00
  I what happens if we cut this tube on a dog.
• 56:03
  Let's find out.
• 56:05
  But this is how science, this is
• 56:07
  You know, this is why science is dangerous.
• 56:09
  But with these discoveries came leaps in medicine as they figure out what's underneath the hood.
• 56:14
  Medicine and medicine adjacent things began to form and produce new findings.
• 56:21
  But the first vasectomies performed were a far cry from the ones that people undergo today.
• 56:29
  And they were generally not positive experience.
• 56:32
  Dr.
• 56:32
  Leon Goslin published
• 56:35
  the results of these experiments on dogs in 1853.
• 56:39
  Now, he did what he called, quote, surgical ligation and resection of the vas deferens or the vasectomy and noted that four to six months after there was normal production, it left
• 56:53
  no effect to the production, just the distribution of the reproductive fluids.
• 56:59
  Like Cooper before him, he noticed no change in the testicles themselves.
• 57:05
  So far so good.
• 57:06
  Yippee ki yay.
• 57:08
  The dog is on his way.
• 57:11
  But the first recorded vasectomy on a human for the purpose of sterilization was performed by Henry Clay Sharp, fitting last name there, to sterilize inmates.
• 57:24
  So Sharp began sterilizing inmates so that way we can cleanse that little section of the gene pool so that way they do not
• 57:33
  produce I guess more inmates.
• 57:36
  Like it's wild that we have so much figured out at this point.
• 57:39
  Like we have figured out that you can go in and you can you can cut this little tiny tube and it will cause a person to not have kids or not be able to have kids.
• 57:49
  But we haven't figured out that like just because your dad's locked up doesn't mean you will do that too.
• 57:54
  Baffling.
• 57:55
  Not great.
• 57:56
  But before this traditionally like here in the States they would have castrated or crushed
• 58:03
  the testicles as punishment for sexual crimes.
• 58:07
  And so in some ways, Sharp's offering was an improvement.
• 58:12
  I don't know anyone who, when faced with the choice, we can totally just like pulverize Pancake City, your ranch arrows, or we can just go cut this one tiny little tube and move
• 58:26
  on.
• 58:27
  His idea sucked, but it was better than the previous one.
• 58:32
  Ben Franklin was an avid writer, explorer, and one of the things that he did regularly was write to his former colleagues abroad.
• 58:42
  These would translate his discoveries and findings into other languages.
• 58:46
  One of the contemporaries that he wrote to was Jacques Barbeau-du-Borgue.
• 58:53
  That's the American English French pronunciation of this man's name.
• 58:57
  And this guy, Jacques, whatever.
• 59:01
  He was like a French version of Ben Franklin.
• 59:03
  He strapped an electric conductor on the end of an umbrella, was a botanist, a physician.
• 59:08
  You get the idea.
• 59:09
  He's like Wish.com Ben Franklin.
• 59:11
  He's like Oui Oui Monsieur Ben Franklin.
• 59:14
  But Franklin loved to discuss his medical understanding and findings with de Bourgh.
• 59:20
  And Ben Franklin wrote in a letter to his colleague and friend Jacques.
• 59:25
  Jacques.
• 59:26
  Jacques.
• 59:27
  In 1768.
• 59:29
  His letter reads, and I'm going to read it to you in the OG Ben English.
• 59:33
  That's what I'm calling it here.
• 59:35
  It reads, quote, greatly approve the epithet which you give in your letter of the 8th of June for 8th of June to the new method of treating the smallpox, which you call the tonic
• 59:47
  or bracing method.
• 59:49
  I will take occasion from it to mention a practice to which I have been accustomed myself.
• 59:54
  You know, the cold bath has long been in vogue here as a tonic.
• 59:59
  But the shock of the cold water has always appeared to me, generally speaking, is too violent.
• 1:00:04
  I have found it much more agreeable to my constitution to bathe in another element.
• 1:00:09
  I mean cold air.
• 1:00:11
  With this view, I rise early, almost every morning, and sit in my chamber, without any clothes, half an hour or an hour according to the season, either reading or writing.
• 1:00:21
  This practice is not in the least painful, but on the contrary agreeable.
• 1:00:26
  And if I return to bed afterwards, before I dress myself, as sometimes happens, I make a supplement to my night's rest of one or two hours of the most pleasing sleep that can be
• 1:00:38
  imagined.
• 1:00:38
  I find no ill consequences whatsoever resulting from it, and that at least it does not injure my health if it does not in fact contribute much to its preservation.
• 1:00:50
  Now, end quote.
• 1:00:52
  If you don't read fancy
• 1:00:54
  old school American English, Benny, I like to call it Big Benny English.
• 1:00:58
  I'll translate.
• 1:00:59
  His buddy wrote, had wrote him that taking a very cold bath served to help one's health and could be helpful when dealing with smallpox.
• 1:01:08
  Now this said Ben Franklin doesn't like cold baths because it shrivels up his little Franklin too much and makes him struggle for breath in the cold air.
• 1:01:16
  He doesn't like the polar plunge because it makes his little polar seltzer go whoop and he ain't into that.
• 1:01:22
  So rather
• 1:01:23
  Franklin, Benny Boy Franklin, prefers to strip down completely in the buff, open a window and quote, take a bath in the cold air.
• 1:01:34
  He will sit with his button berries on furniture in his home for a half hour to an hour just going about his day, writing and thinking with his digit flopping about.
• 1:01:46
  And he notes he hasn't experienced any problems with his health due to it.
• 1:01:49
  Makes you wonder if when Franklin ever had guests over,
• 1:01:53
  if he did so when he did, if he let them know that he in fact he essentially like rubbed his little scot all over the seats everywhere, like every day.
• 1:02:02
  Windows are open, anyone could just walk by and catch Ben in the middle of an air bath.
• 1:02:06
  And I think by 1776, which is years after Franklin wrote this to de Borg, people would have gotten word that Franklin takes air baths.
• 1:02:18
  And when Adams and him shacked up for the night,
• 1:02:21
  and Franklin goes to the windows and opens it.
• 1:02:24
  You have to imagine that Adams is just like, you really have to do the thing while we're sharing a room?
• 1:02:31
  Like, must you really?
• 1:02:32
  Yes, John.
• 1:02:34
  Bequeath you I do, it's good for mine soul.
• 1:02:38
  You know, hanging brain in the drafty window can't be good for you, Ben.
• 1:02:42
  How can it?
• 1:02:43
  It just is.
• 1:02:44
  I can picture it so well.
• 1:02:46
  Not Ben Franklin's digit, but like the argument between them.
• 1:02:49
  I don't think of.
• 1:02:50
  Ben Franklin's member.
• 1:02:52
  An air bath.
• 1:02:52
  And what's weird here, the wild part is the logic is sound.
• 1:02:56
  Cold baths or cold showers are a shock to the system, are supposed to be pretty good for you.
• 1:03:02
  And so Ben found a happy medium.
• 1:03:05
  A slightly less shock to the system by standing nude in the open air, the air bath.
• 1:03:10
  But I think I know the other reason Franklin wanted the windows open some.
• 1:03:17
  Apparently these deer were zoinking so hard that some sort of shaman or witch doctor or medicine person or something Said we have got to figure out how we can have that for
• 1:03:32
  ourselves My dude Rudolph is tripping balls deluxe and we've got to get a piece of that.
• 1:03:38
  I want you to think to yourself What do you think they did the reindeer are tripping tripping like whoopie?
• 1:03:44
  They want a little piece and they want something of that
• 1:03:46
  What do think they did on three?
• 1:03:48
  One, two, three, go.
• 1:03:50
  They drank the filtered mushroom urine of the reindeer.
• 1:03:53
  Yep.
• 1:03:53
  You know, people of the past.
• 1:03:55
  If, if somehow the people of the past are listening, if, if perhaps a time traveler greetings, if you are that time, if somehow you have come forward in time or backwards,
• 1:04:07
  I'm not going to try to figure out time travel stuff.
• 1:04:10
  And you have gotten ahold of this podcast of all the ones out there.
• 1:04:13
  I know, but please.
• 1:04:16
  Please go back and tell people of the past to quit drinking urine.
• 1:04:20
  I just stop.
• 1:04:21
  There's so much better.
• 1:04:22
  Take them Gatorade.
• 1:04:24
  Take them Waterloo Seltzer.
• 1:04:26
  Take them anything to replace their desire to apparently drink deer urine.
• 1:04:30
  I don't understand it.
• 1:04:32
  But turns out after the deer eat the mushrooms, their body processes much of the toxins and their pee, while stanky and still full of those hallucinogenic toxins,
• 1:04:45
  has filtered much of what'll kill you out.
• 1:04:49
  Now, in one account of this, I should note that this urine is round three, because again, these are theories and there's all sorts of different theories about how this urine gets
• 1:04:58
  in the system.
• 1:04:59
  But one of these theories said that the rich people in the area would boil down the mushrooms so that way they could eat the mushrooms.
• 1:05:06
  They would have their euphoria.
• 1:05:08
  And while they're tripping and zoinking hard, they're peeing the snow.
• 1:05:13
  The deer lap that up.
• 1:05:15
  They drank the rich people's urine and them having seen the results of both the rich people and the reindeer, the poor of society and the less cultured of society get some on
• 1:05:30
  round three P.
• 1:05:31
  Well, similar to the Sami people, the Evans people share a lot in common and one of their shared notions are a focus on reindeer.
• 1:05:43
  Now,
• 1:05:44
  in the area around where the Evans or Evans people, Evans people, I don't know.
• 1:05:49
  I don't know how say it.
• 1:05:50
  There are these megalithic quote reindeer stones.
• 1:05:54
  Some of these megalithic reindeer stones date back 3000 years old.
• 1:05:57
  They're these big like rock pillar looking things.
• 1:06:01
  But on them, on these rocked pillars, are depictions of winged reindeer.
• 1:06:08
  Winged reindeer!
• 1:06:09
  Who had ever heard of such a thing?
• 1:06:11
  Why?
• 1:06:12
  Yet still we do not have a reason for why the reindeer are flying.
• 1:06:17
  What would cause these reindeers to take flight?
• 1:06:21
  There's ample evidence that again, the shaman were drinking reindeer urine and in their culture, the reindeer often served as spirit guides.
• 1:06:32
  You know, you do the sweat lodge thing, you do a sweat.
• 1:06:36
  and your spirit guide comes to you and it guides you into further understanding.
• 1:06:41
  That's the idea here.
• 1:06:42
  And during these guided trips, it is often said that the reindeer are seen to be flying, guiding the shaman to various gifts.
• 1:06:54
  And you can start to see how the Santa Claus things start slipping in here.
• 1:06:59
  Psychedelic reindeer, here.
• 1:07:01
  Couple that with the idea that as the people are drinking this thing,
• 1:07:06
  They see reindeer and their hallucinations make them zwink and the reindeer start taking off and flying around the room.
• 1:07:13
  The connection is not a straight line.
• 1:07:17
  Do not spill that bucket.
• 1:07:20
  And then you dump it into this tub that as the horse pulls it down, you know, they didn't have paved roads.
• 1:07:27
  It's sloshing everywhere.
• 1:07:29
  There's turds going everywhere.
• 1:07:32
  Smooth ride.
• 1:07:33
  Not likely.
• 1:07:34
  I'm sure everything stayed in the tub.
• 1:07:36
  Yeah, right.
• 1:07:37
  But this wagon was the first time this horse drawn wagon was the first time that they began to use the term
• 1:07:47
  Honey wagon.
• 1:07:48
  This begs the question, why are we, why honey wagon?
• 1:07:53
  Why not really filthy, gross, filth, butthole juice wagon?
• 1:07:57
  Cause that's what it is.
• 1:07:59
  From what I can tell, but from what I can tell, they began to call it a honey wagon because of the color of the liquid inside this tub.
• 1:08:09
  Absolutely foul.
• 1:08:11
  Horse drawn honey wagons.
• 1:08:12
  That might not be a bad like.
• 1:08:14
  punk rock band, metal band name, horse drawn honey wagon.
• 1:08:17
  But we're still a far reach from the trucks that we see come slurp up our porta potty liquids today.
• 1:08:24
  And one thing that is different is the presence of a horse.
• 1:08:29
  And to swap that out, the invention of a truck brought two specific innovations to the technology.
• 1:08:34
  the meeting, machine and fabric Daniel Straub.
• 1:08:37
  Now, I butchered it.
• 1:08:39
  I don't know why I went like samurai on that.
• 1:08:41
  But like, it's machine and fabric.
• 1:08:44
  Daniel Straub, where he worked on mills and turbines.
• 1:08:47
  He became the factory manager for auto in Sai and brought his pal Maybach on as chief designer while he worked there.
• 1:08:56
  Now, these two men, Gottlieb Daimler and his buddy Maybach, went on to work on the largest manufacturer of stationary engines at the time.
• 1:09:07
  In 1872, this company invented a gas-fueled
• 1:09:11
  compressed charge four-stroke engine after four years of effort.
• 1:09:16
  It was believed and was probably correct in time that it would replace steam.
• 1:09:21
  Imler was fired from auto and Maybach resigned following his friend.
• 1:09:26
  These two left and began to work on an engine that burned a carbon-based lig- lig-ri-on- I- it was eventually reworked to run at about 900 RPMs.
• 1:09:38
  Now this engine
• 1:09:40
  this or that that compound that carbon base, think it's Ligurian, Ligurian, Ligroin, I don't know.
• 1:09:47
  I don't know how to pronounce any of this crap like.
• 1:09:50
  But.
• 1:09:52
  It was later switched out for gasoline.
• 1:09:55
  And would appear to be attached to a vehicle running.
• 1:10:00
  At about seven miles per hour nearby where.
• 1:10:05
  Daimler and Maybach are working on this engine.
• 1:10:08
  Carl Benz.
• 1:10:09
  had patented a similar automobile in 1886 called the Motorwagen.
• 1:10:16
  That's German for motor wagon.
• 1:10:18
  In 1889, the first Daimler-Maybach automobile was built called the Stahlradwagen.
• 1:10:25
  Stahlradwagen, Stahlradwagen, and was influenced by actually early bicycle designs.
• 1:10:30
  We've come full circle.
• 1:10:31
  Get it?
• 1:10:32
  Because of the wheels.
• 1:10:33
  It's You got to keep the voice nice for you.
• 1:10:37
  Daimler.
• 1:10:38
  reiterated and reiterated on his stall rad wagon until 1896 he invented the Daimler motor lost wagon the world's first truck.
• 1:10:49
  I thought we were talking about honey wagons.
• 1:10:51
  Well we just found the wagon again seven miles per hour.
• 1:10:55
  Originally this truck was designed to haul needed gasoline and tanks on the back of it for use in the ever-rising gasoline use.
• 1:11:03
  However as you might guess it became used
• 1:11:07
  for so much more.
• 1:11:08
  But when these were placed in war areas, there's no young lad coming to empty those.
• 1:11:14
  They would need to be dumped in another way.
• 1:11:17
  These early stall-rod-vagans ended up hauling more than just gasoline.
• 1:11:23
  Beer and water were commonly hauled on these trucks, but in time, people began to put containers of human honey in the back.
• 1:11:31
  You know what I'm saying, human honey.
• 1:11:33
  Thus, the honey wagon took a new form.
• 1:11:36
  no longer pulled by a beast, but powered by gas.
• 1:11:41
  I'm going to tell you kids about skibbity toilets.
• 1:11:44
  So gather around children, gather around, gather in.
• 1:11:47
  Let me pull the curtain back on one of your little prized little icons of your generation.
• 1:11:54
  We're going to talk about skibbity toilet, but first I need to take you back and dear God, are we going to go back?
• 1:12:00
  And I want to tell you a story about teenage Hunter.
• 1:12:04
  That's me.
• 1:12:04
  Hi, I'm here.
• 1:12:05
  The scene is the mid to late 2000s and
• 1:12:09
  There is a huge trend on the rise.
• 1:12:13
  I'm going to sound like the most ancient of fogies here for just a second, but here we are again.
• 1:12:18
  We're not looking for online cred or whatever the heck they call it.
• 1:12:22
  These street cred for years.
• 1:12:25
  I would after getting home from school or after church or, in the wee hours of my day, I would spend my day figuring out how to get to my friend's house or invite a friend over to
• 1:12:36
  my house so we could play super smash brothers in.
• 1:12:39
  mine or my friends rooms go to their house.
• 1:12:42
  They get to come over here.
• 1:12:43
  And when we got a new game, we would communicate the new game to one another.
• 1:12:47
  So that way we could go play the new game at their house.
• 1:12:49
  And we never, we tried to not buy a game that somebody else already had because they could go there and play it.
• 1:12:55
  Now you had to be, you had to be strategic about your game buying.
• 1:12:59
  I remember waiting for school to get out so I could ride my bike to a friend's house and play Tony Hawk Pro Skater demo on the PlayStation.
• 1:13:08
  Just the demo.
• 1:13:09
  We got this like demo disc in a Pizza Hut, like read it program.
• 1:13:14
  I wish they did read it and read it, it, book it, book it.
• 1:13:17
  It's book it.
• 1:13:18
  I wish they still did that.
• 1:13:19
  Now it's all online.
• 1:13:21
  It's like stupid.
• 1:13:23
  Book it's rad.
• 1:13:24
  But I remember my buddy got Tony Hawk Pro Skater, I think two demo and we would go to his house and we played the heck out of that demo.
• 1:13:33
  Like we played the two tracks that you got and we played them until
• 1:13:38
  They were just beat dead.
• 1:13:40
  And I am, I feel like I really truly am the generation in which video games blossomed and they became more than just a household novelty.
• 1:13:50
  They really became a pastime and for some people a way of life.
• 1:13:54
  Yes, there was Pac-Man and the Marios of old, but I could see that as this N64 system.
• 1:14:00
  I remember when I got my N64 system, I was like seven or eight years old.
• 1:14:06
  And it had to go in the basement, in the TV in the basement, because I don't know, we just weren't gonna plug it in upstairs.
• 1:14:12
  And I remember playing Super Mario 64 and Donkey Kong and Super Smash Brothers and Mario Kart and Pokemon Stadium and Pokemon Puzzle League and all of these games.
• 1:14:25
  And I would just sit around the system and play these things.
• 1:14:29
  as things, oh, and 007, GoldenEye, good night, it's so good.
• 1:14:35
  But as more and more things came out, one of the things that became evident on N64 was the trend towards multiplayer.
• 1:14:43
  Things continued to get better, and I knew I would be playing these things quite a bit.
• 1:14:50
  This episode is for curious parents, but also kids and semi fans of Skibbity.
• 1:14:56
  Kids, you click again, if you clicked it because of Skibbity Toilet, I promise we're to get there.
• 1:15:00
  Maybe you should just chill out for a second.
• 1:15:03
  Put down the cat name.
• 1:15:04
  prime energy drink, quit drinking energy.
• 1:15:06
  Hey, kids, I'm gonna tell you something, quit drinking the energy drinks.
• 1:15:09
  It's turning into a bunch of weirdos.
• 1:15:11
  Like, if you do not stop drinking energy drink, you will turn into a teenage weirdo.
• 1:15:16
  That's facts, that's scientific facts.
• 1:15:18
  But I'm gonna give y'all some of the history of the stuff y'all watch.
• 1:15:25
  Have you ever in wrestling or in coaching wrestling, have you ever seen like a bathroom accident like either mid match or maybe like?
• 1:15:32
  I've had one.
• 1:15:34
  Yeah, yeah.
• 1:15:35
  So this was when I went to college.
• 1:15:37
  I didn't wrestle very long while I was there, but I did have the opportunity to do that.
• 1:15:41
  And over the summer, I actually went to go work for my grandmother and God bless this woman, so Hispanic grandmother cooking with a lot of oils.
• 1:15:49
  I actually gained 30 pounds over that summer and came back at like 155.
• 1:15:54
  First wrestling tournament.
• 1:15:56
  I was trying to make 144 I think and Me and another teammate of mine Aaron Runyon shout out if you ever watch this or listen to this Yeah, I'm telling our story here.
• 1:16:06
  Well, we took some laxatives We walked all the way to Walmart in Portland and it was about a mile and a half walk just to go get some laxatives so we can make weight and Okay, I was
• 1:16:16
  like I was wrestling this kid and he put me in this one move and splitting my legs apart and well
• 1:16:23
  I haven't won that singlet ever since.
• 1:16:26
  way.
• 1:16:26
  Oh yeah.
• 1:16:28
  Never wore it, never will, but yeah that happened.
• 1:16:32
  they just call the match?
• 1:16:33
  No, because it was like just enough to where like I was good, but like my underwear wasn't.
• 1:16:40
  But you and your opponent knew what happened a little bit.
• 1:16:43
  I don't know if my opponent did, but I did.
• 1:16:45
  I felt it.
• 1:16:46
  No.
• 1:16:47
  Yeah, it was bad.
• 1:16:48
  Yeah.
• 1:16:49
  Wrestling in my brain, wrestling is like
• 1:16:51
  the worst sport to have a bathroom emergency.
• 1:16:54
  Yes.
• 1:16:55
  Because you're so, mean it is kind of...
• 1:16:56
  That track actually.
• 1:16:58
  Yes.
• 1:16:59
  You gotta imagine sprinting down for the last hundred meters, you turtle heading, know, been through that situation.
• 1:17:06
  I finally made it to the bathroom.
• 1:17:07
  I actually needed to go before the start of the race, which the race was the 3000.
• 1:17:13
  Okay.
• 1:17:14
  So that's at least 10 to 11 minutes of me having to take a deuce.
• 1:17:18
  Oh my gosh.
• 1:17:20
  Yeah and uh...
• 1:17:22
  I actually forgot all about it until I got home.
• 1:17:24
  Really?
• 1:17:25
  Yeah.
• 1:17:26
  I mean, that happens.
• 1:17:28
  Yeah.
• 1:17:28
  My understanding is like people that run really long distances, like marathons or even like cross country, and I should ask your brother this.
• 1:17:37
  Hmm.
• 1:17:38
  But they'll just poop their pants.
• 1:17:39
  Some people.
• 1:17:40
  Yeah.
• 1:17:40
  They're just like...
• 1:17:41
  I've seen it.
• 1:17:41
  Really?
• 1:17:42
  Yeah.
• 1:17:42
  I was watching State.
• 1:17:45
  I think this was like 2017.
• 1:17:46
  There was a girl...
• 1:17:47
  Uh, no.
• 1:17:49
  Yeah, there's a girl that wasn't muddy at the chorus and I can, I only know that because everybody else wasn't muddy.
• 1:17:55
  Yeah, but there's mystery mud somewhere.
• 1:17:57
  Like she had some mud just slung down her back and she was the only girl.
• 1:18:01
  So, and it wasn't like on her upper back.
• 1:18:03
  It was just legs and below.
• 1:18:06
  The mud pie.
• 1:18:07
  Yeah.
• 1:18:07
  So I've seen it once.
• 1:18:09
  That's a sight, dude.
• 1:18:11
  I but yeah wrestling so intimate cuz like intimate might not be the right word, but it feels the correct way I mean you're you're so in close that it's just and there's so much
• 1:18:20
  reaching and grabbing that I feel like it's just it's just a danger zone for anything bathroom related even wet like even if you just peed it's like yeah, yeah, cuz like the
• 1:18:31
  singlets are only so thin and
• 1:18:34
  Well, like a lot of the younger kids sometimes they don't do the one two pumps So they'll get a little dribble-drabble on their sinklet and you can see it.
• 1:18:43
  Yep.
• 1:18:44
  Yeah that happens sometimes Old guys that's like an old guy's thing because apparently like there's a lot of dribble when you get older I don't know not much wrestling but like
• 1:18:52
  you'll see it.
• 1:18:52
  It'll be like the old man dribble in the pants Maybe I need to quit looking at the crop.
• 1:18:58
  Maybe that's that's maybe what we've learned general consensus.
• 1:19:02
  Yeah
• 1:19:03
  Well, I learned something today.
• 1:19:04
  Maybe pay less attention to male genitalia.
• 1:19:08
  Yeah, yeah.
• 1:19:09
  Just really any genitalia I think is probably good news.
• 1:19:12
  Good advice for me.
• 1:19:15
  Number 11, Scott.
• 1:19:18
  Lord have mercy.
• 1:19:19
  mean, Scott 1000 has got to be the worst toilet paper that I have ever used.
• 1:19:25
  It's worse?
• 1:19:26
  I'm going to say it.
• 1:19:28
  I'm on record on this show complaining pretty avidly, pretty avidly about the quality of toilet paper my employer at the high school is providing.
• 1:19:40
  I'm confident without a shadow of a doubt that Scott 1000 is worse.
• 1:19:45
  This stuff is junk.
• 1:19:47
  mean, look at this.
• 1:19:49
  This is this isn't even it.
• 1:19:51
  I can't even find it at this point.
• 1:19:53
  I probably threw it away.
• 1:19:54
  It's so bad.
• 1:19:55
  Oh, there she blows.
• 1:19:57
  It's just bad.
• 1:19:58
  Yeah, look, Scott.
• 1:19:59
  I mean, just look at how thin it is.
• 1:20:01
  It's so thin.
• 1:20:03
  It's like.
• 1:20:05
  It's just awful.
• 1:20:06
  I hate it so much.
• 1:20:08
  1000 is is the bottom of the barrel.
• 1:20:11
  It is the worst rated toilet paper.
• 1:20:15
  And yeah, it's cheaper than the other brands, but it ain't worth it.
• 1:20:20
  Like that Joker is crud.
• 1:20:22
  It's awful.
• 1:20:24
  I can see the world through it.
• 1:20:26
  Like I can see like where my finger is behind the paper.
• 1:20:32
  It's no good.
• 1:20:33
  Scott 1000, number 11, absolute bottom.
• 1:20:36
  Followed very closely, I might add by Simple Truth Organic Toilet Paper.
• 1:20:42
  Now I understand.
• 1:20:44
  the desire for organic.
• 1:20:48
  People are like, I don't want any artificial dyes and I want to make sure that it was like organically sourced and that it's sustainably done.
• 1:20:57
  And that's all good.
• 1:20:58
  But like make the paper good.
• 1:21:00
  Do you know what saying?
• 1:21:01
  Like why can't we have all those things be true?
• 1:21:04
  know, organic paper, like organically sourced, done well and have it be a good quality paper.
• 1:21:10
  Like why can't we have both?
• 1:21:12
  Why is it the facts that
• 1:21:14
  Organic simple truth was the 10th out of a paper 10 out of 11.
• 1:21:20
  It's awful It somehow felt lower quality than the dollar store paper and I don't quite understand that it was thick but like also rough on my crack and and and I will admit like
• 1:21:33
  when I was trying these I had to go back and forth between between the simple truth organic and the dollar store paper to really get a feel for like
• 1:21:43
  Which one's doing a better job on my B right now?
• 1:21:46
  And I gotta say, while Simple Truth Organic is just a fraction of a hair thicker, it's not as good of a paper.
• 1:21:55
  It lacks in comfort.
• 1:21:56
  My butt truly felt violated by an organic tissue.
• 1:22:00
  And I don't know if I'll ever recover.
• 1:22:02
  Which then brings us to number nine, which wins our value test, but with an asterisk.
• 1:22:12
  Is our dollar store paper.
• 1:22:13
  It comes out to 25 cents a roll.
• 1:22:15
  You get a four pack for a dollar.
• 1:22:17
  And I was surprised.
• 1:22:18
  I was actually baffled by this paper.
• 1:22:21
  It's not soft.
• 1:22:22
  It's not thick.
• 1:22:24
  But I didn't hole punch myself like I didn't full like blast Team Rocket blast myself off again through this paper.
• 1:22:32
  Each wipe I should say in this in this butt test.
• 1:22:38
  I use three squares.
• 1:22:39
  I'm on record for privy saying that a person only needs three squares to write, wipe, and it is folded as such.
• 1:22:47
  Three squares.
• 1:22:48
  This was every test that was done with the toilet paper was done with the three square fold.
• 1:22:53
  Now the dollar store paper held up better than I thought.
• 1:22:57
  Number eight was the honeycomb bamboo toilet paper.
• 1:23:00
  Now I have to admit when I first began setting out on this episode, I had 10 papers to try and then I was gifted.
• 1:23:08
  the world's biggest box of bamboo toilet paper.
• 1:23:11
  I got so dang much of this toilet paper.
• 1:23:14
  This guy, this guy, I mean, it's made out of bamboo and it's not a bad paper.
• 1:23:19
  It come bamboo.
• 1:23:21
  My pastor at our church in their family, they didn't like it until they were passing on.
• 1:23:26
  I was like, I got to try it and I tried it and I actually don't mind it.
• 1:23:29
  It's not bad.
• 1:23:30
  I mean, it hit number eight on my list, but it's perfectly serviceable and I would absolutely use it.
• 1:23:36
  It's a good paper.
• 1:23:37
  surprisingly durable.
• 1:23:38
  not very plush.
• 1:23:39
  You can really experience the bamboo with the lack of plushness.
• 1:23:46
  John Harrington Jr.
• 1:23:48
  studied law at Elton College.
• 1:23:51
  But he didn't really want, like he didn't really like the whole lawyer gig.
• 1:23:56
  He was more of an artist.
• 1:23:58
  Huh, dad, I wanna be an artist.
• 1:24:01
  You know, people have called what I do here on Privy Art, right?
• 1:24:04
  It's art, please shout at me if you think it's art.
• 1:24:07
  What type of art is this?
• 1:24:09
  We're gonna fart.
• 1:24:10
  But he didn't like the whole law thing.
• 1:24:12
  He enjoyed writing and performing his writing.
• 1:24:15
  for others.
• 1:24:16
  His style of poetry and performance is described as like free spoken style.
• 1:24:24
  It's like spoken word but like with a with an open rhyme scheme.
• 1:24:29
  Because of this his godmother Elizabeth the first assigned John Harrington to the royal court to perform many of his works.
• 1:24:39
  yes your father did a great job and I will have you my godson.
• 1:24:44
  Come in and perform many of your works before me.
• 1:24:47
  The trouble is, John Harrington, as the story goes, is known for telling some pretty inappropriate and sexually explicit stories inside the royal court.
• 1:24:56
  He's a real fiend for smut in the royal He's smutting up the royal court.
• 1:25:02
  He's delivering like 1500 smut on the daily to the queen's court.
• 1:25:08
  Dude, smutting it as such took the cake of all this, was
• 1:25:13
  John Harrington tried his hand at translating Orlando Furioso, an Italian epic wherein Harrington took some creative licenses and upped the sex factor of the poem, like really
• 1:25:30
  smutted the thing.
• 1:25:31
  Apparently his translation was a bridge too far, maybe not enough, but his godmother banished him just as she had been banished.
• 1:25:42
  just as his father and his mother had been banished.
• 1:25:45
  It came all the way around.
• 1:25:47
  Them queens sure like to be banishing and banishing people, huh?
• 1:25:50
  Didn't learn much from it.
• 1:25:52
  But his godmother banished him for his racy translation, and then his sentence was, he can come back once he's finished translating the rest of it.
• 1:26:02
  Old Elizabeth doth protest too much, it sounds like.
• 1:26:06
  To me, it's like, mm, nope, John.
• 1:26:08
  Your version is way too sexy for me, but you better go finish it.
• 1:26:14
  you're not allowed back in my kingdom, but when you come back, make sure you bring the finished copy.
• 1:26:19
  I wanna read the end.
• 1:26:21
  real smut fiend, it seems.
• 1:26:24
  This is the smutiest smut I've ever seen, and I've read some smut, Elizabeth says.
• 1:26:30
  So I banish you, but you can come back once you got some more of that smut.
• 1:26:34
  Classic smoke the whole pack of cigarettes move.
• 1:26:37
  It's like,
• 1:26:37
  John, why are you writing smut again?
• 1:26:40
  Your punishment?
• 1:26:41
  Write more smut.
• 1:26:43
  What?
• 1:26:45
  Like, good one Elizabeth.
• 1:26:46
  Unless she just wanted more, it seems like this was a failed attempt at punishment.
• 1:26:51
  I don't think she planned on him ever finishing it.
• 1:26:53
  It's pretty big work from what I understand.
• 1:26:56
  But, alas, he finished the translation of Orlando Furioso, 91.
• 1:27:03
  And it is still...
• 1:27:04
  the primary English translation of the piece used today.
• 1:27:11
  Face mask.
• 1:27:12
  Now, this is, I will admit, I am actually scared.
• 1:27:15
  It had salt in it.
• 1:27:16
  So this is a face mask.
• 1:27:18
  Help me.
• 1:27:18
  This is very pasty.
• 1:27:20
  Caution.
• 1:27:21
  Keep out of reach of children.
• 1:27:23
  For external use only.
• 1:27:24
  Avoid contact with mouth and eyes.
• 1:27:27
  May contain nuts.
• 1:27:28
  It's clay.
• 1:27:30
  It tastes like clay.
• 1:27:31
  There's a lot of just trying to get it out of my mouth mostly because I don't want to be sick and go to the hospital.
• 1:27:36
  That tastes like clay.
• 1:27:37
  It's actually not as bad as a lot of the things I've tried, but it just tastes like clay.
• 1:27:41
  It doesn't taste like pumpkin spice at all.
• 1:27:43
  We need to reset.
• 1:27:45
  Starbucks.
• 1:27:45
  The face mask.
• 1:27:47
  The taste is like a zero.
• 1:27:49
  It tastes like clay.
• 1:27:50
  Tastes nothing like pumpkin spice.
• 1:27:52
  Dove shampoo.
• 1:27:53
  Why does it have to be liquid?
• 1:27:54
  It says cinnamon pumpkin pie.
• 1:27:56
  Now I know what pumpkin pie tastes like.
• 1:27:58
  And I'll tell you this, it doesn't look like this, so we're just gonna...
• 1:28:02
  Oh, that is real bad!
• 1:28:05
  No!
• 1:28:05
  That's a zero for me, that's a negative one!
• 1:28:07
  Okay, we're getting it.
• 1:28:09
  The Dawn power scrub.
• 1:28:10
  Now, listen, I don't even know.
• 1:28:12
  Um, I don't even know.
• 1:28:14
  It's dripping.
• 1:28:15
  It's dripping on me.
• 1:28:16
  I'm just gonna take a little bit from the bottom.
• 1:28:17
  I call a hamster.
• 1:28:18
  No!
• 1:28:19
  That's dangerous for my face!
• 1:28:23
  No.
• 1:28:24
  That's negative eight.
• 1:28:25
  No, negative four.
• 1:28:26
  That tasted, that was the first one I've tasted where I said, if I swallow this, I might be bad.
• 1:28:32
  I mean, I might not be good.
• 1:28:33
  Ooh, golly.
• 1:28:35
  Dawn Power Wash.
• 1:28:36
  Okay, poop free.
• 1:28:39
  So define brain rot.
• 1:28:41
  Brain rot was listed as the word of the year in 2024.
• 1:28:45
  And what's curious is since it had been crowned word of the year, the idea of what is brain rot has changed significantly.
• 1:28:55
  Brain rot, yeah, back when it won word of the year, the term quote unquote brain rot referred to the condition or the experience of fatigue, mental decline.
• 1:29:05
  or sluggishness due to the exposure of online media that is of low quality or to other frustrating online material.
• 1:29:14
  So it was more describing a phenomenon, particularly the feeling that you feel when you scroll too long, seeing like low quality videos and just like nonsensical stuff.
• 1:29:26
  I think of back in, and we're gonna talk about who Brain Rot is really aimed toward here in a little bit.
• 1:29:31
  I think we already know, but every generation has its own version of Brain
• 1:29:35
  So about a year and a half ago, brain rot was more of a condition.
• 1:29:39
  It was a description of a state of being for a person.
• 1:29:43
  You had or were experiencing brain rot.
• 1:29:46
  But the concept of brain rot has actually been around for a really long time.
• 1:29:52
  Without using the internet right now, listener, welcome to this privy space.
• 1:29:56
  I know you're probably listening on a pod catcher where you're, but a handful of clicks or taps
• 1:30:02
  away from opening an internet search browser of some sort, or maybe even speaking into your phone and asking Bigsby or Siri or whatever the heck you're using out there to go and
• 1:30:14
  fetch this information for.
• 1:30:15
  I'm going to beg you not to.
• 1:30:17
  If I asked you up here, right at the front, with the first decade that the term brain rot was used in, what would you say?
• 1:30:27
  This is a little Dora the Explorer call and response.
• 1:30:29
  I imagine you driving down
• 1:30:31
  driving down the interstate, being like, oh, the seventies and responding to me.
• 1:30:36
  If you did that listener, I love you and thank you.
• 1:30:38
  But if I told you, you would never get it.
• 1:30:41
  If I told you, did you guess the fifties?
• 1:30:45
  I know now.
• 1:30:46
  And you're thinking to yourself, man, that is actually crazy that it's been around 75 plus years.
• 1:30:52
  Sips tea in preparation to drop a fat load.
• 1:30:56
  What if I told you it was the 18.
• 1:30:58
  In 1854,
• 1:31:00
  Henry David Thoreau wrote a book titled Walden.
• 1:31:04
  It is reported that in his book, Thoreau is thinking about the materialism and the way people tend to prefer trivial ideas.
• 1:31:16
  To that I say, to Thoreau, I'd say, if only you knew how high that idea would fly.
• 1:31:22
  He proposed that these trivial ideas or nonsensical waste of time thoughts would
• 1:31:30
  In time, if someone spent too much time reflecting on them, they would befall a condition that he called brain rot in 1854.
• 1:31:42
  Little could Thoreau know that this term would be used to describe the mental decline of people due to the effects of low quality online media.
• 1:31:50
  It's been around a long time, over 170 years it's been around.
• 1:31:55
  The idea of brain rot is not new.
• 1:31:57
  The idea that if we think on lowly things and we spend our time wasting our thoughts with trivial ideas that it will rot our brain is not a new one.
• 1:32:06
  But he was noting that there was a decline in the intellectual standards of the day.
• 1:32:13
  Sentence, the mental decline due to giving attention to things that do not matter could be the tagline pretty much from like probably forever, but for sure the mid-20th
• 1:32:26
  thousands all the way up until present day, like 2005 onward probably could be used to describe these decades.
• 1:32:34
  This idea of brain rot was really related to its original 1854 definition, but it popped up again, moving into the thousands and the digital and internet age.
• 1:32:44
  It's wild.
• 1:32:45
  It became used to describe low quality TV and internet shows cheaply in mass produced video games and the term for just being chronically online.
• 1:32:54
  If you're just
• 1:32:55
  Online, you are a product of brain rot.
• 1:32:59
  The idea of brain rot became a meme in 2023 and 2024, which is how it landed its space and its place in the word of the year two years ago.
• 1:33:11
  As people spent more and more time online, they became more and more associated with the processes of being so.
• 1:33:18
  It kind of seeped into their mannerisms in lingo.
• 1:33:21
  the way they spoke online and the things that they dwelt on online seeped into their day-to-day lives here in the quote unquote real world.
• 1:33:30
  Welcome to the real world privy listener.
• 1:33:32
  Make sure you go touch grass grass.
• 1:33:37
  fixing some fence for some farmers in the area to help earn money to go to Denver as part of a missions trip.
• 1:33:45
  And while we were there, we had finished the project.
• 1:33:48
  They were just closing up some stuff, but we were waiting for some of the final like logistic things to get closed down.
• 1:33:56
  And being bored Montana kids, we decided to have a couch.
• 1:34:03
  Thank you once again for joining us for our 200th episode, the big deuce clip-isode extravaganza.
• 1:34:10
  I hope you enjoy, as always, leave us a rating or review.
• 1:34:14
  The five star options are preferred.
• 1:34:15
  You can leave that on Apple Podcasts and Spotify podcasts.
• 1:34:18
  And every rating you leave, we'll donate a dollar to Wounded Warriors and Living Water International.
• 1:34:23
  As a reminder to keep pooping in the free world.
• 1:34:25
  This free world was not always free.
• 1:34:27
  And in pursuit of cleaner water for all, everybody should have it, but not everybody does.
• 1:34:33
  Check us out online at privycast.
• 1:34:35
  Go to the website privy-cast.com and there's links in the description as well as you can find our store on privy-cast.com slash store.
• 1:34:46
  Go check out the privycast merch and there is a link to the Sticker Mule sticker store.
• 1:34:51
  I'm trying to figure out how to get that not to just be bundles, but go check those things out.
• 1:34:56
  Represent your probably favorite bathroom podcast.
• 1:35:01
  This brings us to the end of another episode of Privy.
• 1:35:03
  Thank you so much for listening.
• 1:35:05
  Thanks to Kevin and Pottington for the use of their music.
• 1:35:07
  Keep pooping in the free world.
• 1:35:09
  Own your stank.
• 1:35:10
  Embrace the big deuce.
• 1:35:12
  And now, as always, for our 200th time, don't forget to flush.