Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 74. Aya Kanai, Chief Fashion Director at Hearst

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74. Aya Kanai, Chief Fashion Director at Hearst · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, Hurdler's Emily A.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Badi.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Here sneaking in to your podcast feed on a Friday
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: with a super super special episode of Hurdle. Today, I'm
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: chatting with Aya Canai. She's the cheap fashion director at Herst.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: She's also a lovely friend of mine. I am so
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: lucky that her and I got to sit down this
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: week as a part of Trellis Health's fertility boot camp series.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Trellis is an egg freezing fertility studio here in New
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: York City. And why this all kind of ties together is.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Aya and I talked about a lot of sensitive stuff,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: including her decision to freeze her eggs, a hurdle moment
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: which was her running a marathon after having a miscarriage,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: and then, trust me, it ends with a really beautiful
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: story and a little spoiler alert. She's got a beautiful
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: little girl running around. So I don't want to bog
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: this down with too much of an intro, but I
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: do want to say thank you so much to Trellis
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: for having me. If you want to learn more information
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: about Trellis, feel free to go on over to their Instagram.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: It's just at Trellis Health. It's t R. E. L.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: L I s health. I just also want to add
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: in another thank you to Aya, not just for showing
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: up and being so willing to sit down with me,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: but for your honesty and your vulnerability. And I know
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: this isn't an easy topic to talk about, but I
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: think that that level of vulnerability it's going to impact
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: so many people. I have no doubt about it. If
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: you want to learn more about Aya and keep up
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: with her and her adorable family, she is at Aya
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: can I that's a y a k A. Nai. And
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: of course you know the drill at Hurdle podcasts at
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Emily a Body And if you have a Hurdle moment
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: of your own to share or just want to say hi,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: it's Emily at Hurdle dot us. With that, let's get
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: to this really special live episode of Hurdle. It feels
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: like yesterday when you and I met and we were
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: sitting at a round table at a breakfast before the marathon.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: It's like five years ago.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, in La in l oh my god, geez, we
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: were about to do a run in downtown La.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: In downtown La. Yeah we were. And a lot has
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: changed since then. Yeah, absolutely, And before we get into
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: all of that what I'd love to do is talk
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: to you a little bit and know a little bit
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: more about where you come from. So where did you
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: grow up?
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: I grew up here in New York City. My parents
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: live about fifteen blocks away from here, this very place
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: that we are. So I grew up here in New
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: York City, went to school also here in New York,
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: and still live here. I live in Brooklyn, and so
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: I'm born and bred New Yorker. Went away to college
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: in Oberlin, Ohio. But have pretty much been a New
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Yorker my whole life.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, a New Yorker, tried and true. Absolutely you think
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: about leaving.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: Ever, sometimes I think the nature of my career is
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: such that, to be honest, there's like only a few
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: places in the world where I can be employed. So
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: I have to pick those places to do my job.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: And usually when I enter you my bad. I should
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: have let everybody know what you do. If you don't
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: know already, Aya is the chief fashion director at Hurst,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: So why don't you tell me a little bit? But
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: what does that mean? What does the chief fashion director do?
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: So? I am the fashion director over several brands at Hearst.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: So that includes Cosmopolitan, Women's Health, seventeen, Good Housekeeping, and
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: several other of our family of brands, and so that
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: includes print content, digital content, videos, branded content. It basically
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: means that my life is like not boring in the slightest,
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: and every day is quite different from another. I am
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: still a fashion editor on set of photo shoots, so
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: I work with celebrities and models, styling covers for Cosmopolitan
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: or Women's Health and making sure that everything looks on
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: brand for all the projects that we have. And then
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: I also have a team of fashion editors and stylists
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: who work with me.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Awesome. Did you think you'd want to do something like
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: that when you grew up?
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: No? I mean I think that as a young person,
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: I knew I wanted to be creative, and I didn't
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: know what that would mean necessarily, and I definitely explored
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: a lot of different avenues before I became a fashion editor.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: But it really suits.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Me because I am strongly interested in creative execution and
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: photography and fashion. But I also have a really prominent
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: sort of business side of how I like to work,
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: and so being able to blend those things in one
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: job is really quite lucky.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Do you remember what you wore to your first day
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: of work as a fashion editor.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: When I was an assistant, I got my first job,
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: so I did not realize that, you know, people go
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: to work in like a suit. So I was wearing
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: like through store clothes and like clogs, and I had like,
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: you know, half a shaved head, and you know, like
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: blonde chips to my hair. So I didn't really like
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: follow the rules of how you're supposed to look. I don't.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know if there's one way you're supposed
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: to look when it comes to fashion. I remember when
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I went in for my interview itself, like exactly what
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I was wearing when I worked there, and I was
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: wearing a denim dress that I bought at Gap the
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: day before, because I was trying to be the right
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: blend of like not too dressed up for my interview
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: but also casual. I mean, I got the job, you
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: got the story, so it worked. It worked, okay. So
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: grew up in New York, native New Yorker, and you
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: knew you wanted to be creative.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: So did you go to college for dot dot? I
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: was an art history major, art and art history major.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: I went to Oberlin, which is in Ohio, and to
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: be honest, like Oberlin is more of like a general
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: liberal arts education. You learn a lot of different things.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: And so I am really glad for that kind of
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: a broad base of education because it allowed me to
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: sort of have the freedom to do a lot of
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: different things as I quote unquote grew up. But you know,
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: I wasn't very much like directed in what I wanted
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: to do. I just was kind of trying out things.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Trying things. So when you graduated college, did you immediately
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: verge onto this path of being?
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: You know, not at all.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: So when I graduated from college, and this is like
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: a whole different podcast, but I was a puppeteer for
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: a couple years. I know. Yeah, so I studied puppet
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: theater for several years. And this has nothing to do
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: with egg freezing for everyone.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I just need to throw in that as father is
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: here and he seems to enjoy this time of your life.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: Yes, So I was a puppeteer, working at like various different,
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: like experimental like theater companies here in New York. I
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: was also working in a vegan restaurant because being a
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: puppeteer is like a tough salary. I don't even know
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: if there is really a salary. But so at that time,
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: I had like a big realization that I didn't necessarily
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: want to do that as like my quote unquote career.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: So I had always been interested in fashion as well.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: My mother works in fashion. My father has been a
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: creative his whole life as well, So I've been surrounded
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: by creative people growing up. And so I got a
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: job at a magazine and that's kind of how I
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: started my fashion career. So I did a lot of
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: different very things in my early twenties, which certainly I
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: encourage all young people that I work with now to
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: do as well, because you don't have to pick your
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: one career path and do that forever. Even though even
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: now I don't think I'm gonna do the one thing forever.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do you have dreams of going back to puppeteering?
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: No, not that, not that I mean I haven't. I
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: haven't decided what else I want to do. But I
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: just I don't want to ever feel like this is
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: my only thing that I'll do with my life totally.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: So I think that I can relate to you in
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: this idea of getting into media and getting super busy
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: and getting caught up in so many of the things
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: that you listed, which are such a fun part of
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: the job, right, like the photo shoots and the writing,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: and then travel, which is abundant. You and I were
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: just rapping about our travel schedules after this, before we
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: even started. And so I assume that for a greater
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: part of maybe your twenties in your early thirties, that
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: that was a big that was all the to do.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was the exclusive thing that I did with
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: my life once I got involved in the fashion industry.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: I would say I probably worked seven days a week
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: for you know, the better part of like you know,
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: from age twenty five to thirty five, not because it
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: was what was being asked of me, but because that's
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: what I liked to do with my time. And I
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: certainly don't regret any part of that. It allowed me
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: to really grow my career, and I'm proud of everything
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: that I did during those years and it was great,
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: no regrets.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people in the room, I
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: also hear your job title now, and I mean, like,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: for me, that's the kind of title that I dreamed
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: about having when I was growing up, for sure, So
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: I'd be a little interested just to know kind of
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: the stepping stones of how you got to being your
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: current role. So you started as a fashion assistant, yes.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: In media, which is like when you're a fashion assistant,
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: you're basically like everyone's gopher, yeah without swearing. Yeah, yeah, exactly,
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: I'm going to keep it clean here. At that time,
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: you know, it was a while ago, and I you know,
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: I would do things like walk people's dogs and pick
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: up their dry cleaning in addition to doing all of
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: my like assistant office work, so it really was like
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: an around the clock type of job. I had the
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: really great fortune of working at a lot of media
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: brands as they were starting. So the main one, my
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: first job was at teen Vogue when it was not
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: even a magazine yet. It was a launch product of
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Conde Nast, and so I was super lucky to become
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: the assistant there because there was no magazine and that
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: meant there were like ten people that worked there, So
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: I got to do everything. And at that time, you know,
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: I would be able to have daily conversations about projects
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: with the editor in chief, whereas now, like an assistant
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: level person would never be talking to an editor in chief.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: So that aspect of being able to really be in
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: the trenches making things was super lucky for me, and
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: it allowed me to sort of climb the ladder faster
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: than I would have otherwise if I was at a
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: bigger brand, you know.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: What I mean.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: Of course, So I worked at teen Vogue. I worked
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: at Nylon Magazine, which is another independent magazine that used
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: to be in Soho. I also was a freelance stylist
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: for several years. I worked at Shopbop, which is a
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: subsidiary of Amazon. You might have heard of, so it's
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: their fashion boutique on which is part of Amazon. So
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: I've been in the e commerce and retail world as well.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: And then after that I went to go work at Cosmo,
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: which is part of Hurst, and kind of grew my
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: career from there working with a lot of different brands.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: So it just kind of a lot of things have
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: come naturally. And then I'm a person who every year
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: I want to sort of be gathering new experiences and
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: taking on new challenges. I wouldn't have been in my
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: job at Hurst for seven years it's been if it
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: hadn't been the kind of place where every year I
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: could do something new and different.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: I think that's so important, Right, It's like every year
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: not just setting those New Year's resolutions, but then also
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: kind of evaluating your progress and checking in with yourself
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: to see if you are doing the things that you
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: set out to do. So every year you have this
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: goal that you want to mix things up, so you
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: kind of make a list for yourself of like, how
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: can I do that this year, not just making that list,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: but then revisiting it, because when you revisit it, that's
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: when you get the growth that you're talking about.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think there are good and bad things
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: about being a goal oriented person. Like I am the
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: kind of person who I want to set a goal
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: and then I want to achieve it, like and I
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: will do anything to make that happen. And when I
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: was thirty five, I was dating my boyfriend at the time,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: and I really had decided that we were going to get.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: Married and have kids.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: I decided that, and it was such such a useful
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: choice of me to make. And it wasn't that he
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: didn't want those things. And you know, and this is
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: like a subtlety that I am not that subtle of
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: a person to get, but that one.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Of the things that he said, he said he was like.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: I would like it if we could decide these things together,
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: Like I would like it if we could have these
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: big choices in our life be something that we decide,
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: you know, as a pair, because these kinds of choices,
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: you can't like move forward with these huge moments in
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: your life without being a line.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: And I was like, hmmm.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: And so I had this feeling like, oh my god,
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden, the clock is ticking. In fact,
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: the clock is running out, and I got really angry
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: and I because I wasn't getting my way, and I
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: decided we were going to break up. And I decided
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: at that I was working at Cosmo, and so my
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: colleague had just frozen her eggs and had and had
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: had a really good experience with doing it. It was
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: like her mother's birthday present to her at that time,
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: and so I thought, hmm, like this was a colleague
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: that I really liked and respected. So when she was
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: telling me about it, I felt like I was really
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: learning about it from someone who cared about me and
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: what freedom it could give me to just have this experience.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: And one of the things she said to me is
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: she was like, if you think about all of the
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: ways that we have like thrown away money over the
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: years on like shoes, coffee, taxis a million other like
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: purchases that you have made like flippantly, and then put
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: all those purchases together, this one purchase might be more
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: meaningful than all of those items, Like all of those
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: lattes combined might actually be better served being put into
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: something like this. And so that was when I decided
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: that I was going to like take this step. I
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: used the same doctor that my friend had used. I
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: can't say that I had like the best, like actual
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: experience of going through the process, but the result was
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: that I, at thirty six, froze my eggs and I
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: did feel like I had purchased myself a like mini
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: insurance policy in the event that the guy that I
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: was with would not be the person that I was
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: going to have a family with.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, I'm going to unpack this a little bit.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: The first thing I'm going to untack is, at that time,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: did you go back and forth a lot about the
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: decision or did you know without a doubt, like this
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: is definitely what I should do right now.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: I did not go back and forth about it again,
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: Like if I decide I'm going to do a thing
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: like that's just the thing, that's the thing.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, Oh, I mean.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: There is the hurdle of the expense because it's rare
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: that you know, like like it's just a different kind
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: of expense and you don't know where to file it
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: in your in your brain, there are categories of things
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: you spend money on, and it's a different sort of bucket.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: So once I got over the fact that I was
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: going to spend this money and I spent my own
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: you know, dollars and pennies to do it, I was
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: all in and I didn't even research other doctors. Frankly,
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: at the time, I was like, well, this is where
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: my friend went, so that's where I'm going. Period, end
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: of story.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, did you go through the process alone or did
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: you have friends that helped you with it or how
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: did you?
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: Well, my boyfriend at the time, who we had broken up,
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: but we were like maybe going to get back together,
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: he and I. He knew I was going to do
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: this thing, and I had sort of explained it like
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: this is a thing that I want to do for myself.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: I have made this choice. It's what I'm doing.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: There's no like conversation to have about it, and so
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: he he supported me through, like you know, coming to
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: my appointments to be of service to me. But at
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: the time we weren't like quote unquote a couple. I know,
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: that's weird. No, I mean those ambiguous relationships out there,
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: it's hard to explain it.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: In Cosmo last month that they called my situationships.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: It was a situationship exactly well played.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. I'm just trying to you know,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: weave it all together. Okay, So you had your situationship
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: and you went through all the things that you had.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: To go through, which is I mean, looking at where
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: we are right now, it was not like this.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: No, it was bright and very welcoming and wanted to comment.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: It was one of those things.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: But I also I really wanted the outcome, So at
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: that time I didn't like think about what the I mean,
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: this is a beautiful environment, but at the time I
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: didn't think about like what the experience was like, mainly
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: because I'm like a great your teeth and like bar
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: it type of person. So I was like, whatever, let's
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: just get through this.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, no matter.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: How beautiful the space is, it is one month of
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: your life that is like, are you going to chalk
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: it up to being like the most fun you ever had?
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Probably not.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: But at the same time, the result that you get
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: is something that is like, frankly, I can only speak
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: from my own experience, it is like priceless. So it
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: was hundreds of times over worth an unpleasant one month experience.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Was it an emotional time for you?
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: It was an emotional time because I did spend some
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: of it wondering about, like, what have I done with
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: my life? Did I waste so much time?
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: I think?
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: You know, like one of the things that my mother
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: said to me, oh God, like is she had said
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: to me at some point like I don't want you
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: to not have the experience of being a parent, because
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: it's been so wonderful for me. She was speaking of herself,
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: and I realized at that time that it was something
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: that I really wanted as well, and I like had
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: been so busy that I didn't like check into that feeling.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: I think that I'm doing that like constantly. Actually at
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: the moment, yeah, it's so. I mean, I'm thirty one
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: right now as we're recording this, and obviously this is
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: like a high time for me and you and I
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: had this conversation on the phone where I should be considering,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: you know, going through the entire process that you went through.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: And I think that a lot of women at my
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: age know the benefits of doing it right now, but
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: you kind of battle with yourself a little bit and
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: that like maybe in a year, my life's gonna look
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: completely different, and maybe I don't need to do this
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: right now, and tomorrow I can meet the man of
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: my dreams and like, yeah, he's gonna wisk me to
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Italy and we're gonna get married out a chateau or
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: whenever you don't call them chateaus in Italy, but you
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like it will be perfect. Yeah,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: So you struggle with this inner dialogue, and so when
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: you're saying and you're getting emotional about like this idea
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: that like maybe you didn't even realize like how much
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: parenting could mean to you. Like I totally relate with that,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: because right now I'm like, yeah, I think I want
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: a kid, but like if I don't have a kid,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: then like maybe it's not in my cards.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: Like yeah, I mean, and your way. For when I
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: was thirty one, I was like I do not want
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: to be a parent. That's not for me. And so
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: it really was only it towards like my middle later
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: thirties that I was kind I realized that it was
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: an experience that I didn't want to go through life
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: without having. And ps, it's totally fine to not be
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: a parent, that's great too, I'm just saying for me,
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: I realized that it was an experience I wanted to have,
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: and that's how I felt about it. I don't think
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: that there is a writer or wrong to it. It
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: was just the realization that I had. I had a
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: really interesting conversation with one of my younger colleagues at work,
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: who is also in her early thirties, and we were
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: talking about whether this was something she wanted to do,
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: and I said to her, I was like, I know
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: that you don't think you're that type of person who
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: would freeze your eggs. She was like, yeah, I don't
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: think I'm that type of person. And I was like,
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: everyone thinks they're not that type of person. Of course,
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: no one believes that this is like a thing that
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: you have to like insert into your schedule or daily calendar.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: But at the same time, it doesn't necessarily it doesn't
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: make some grand statement about what your future holds. If
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: you take a step like this, it's like completely unrelated
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: to whether you're going to meet that guy and go
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: off to your villa.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: It's just its own.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: The right terminology.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: It's its own separate thing.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I hear that. Okay, so you took the steps
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: and you went through everything. Yeah, and what happens with
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: your situationship?
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, we're married, this is my husband.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: I think that one of the big realizations that I
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: had in my uh later part of my thirties was
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: about finding, like really discovering what being a partner is,
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: and that just all the sort of rules that I
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: have applied to my career, which are just like you know,
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: like make a goal and like you know, guns blazing
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: until you get to it, that doesn't necessarily imply apply
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: to how marriages work. And being a good partner is
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: not about making choices and not involving other people in them.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: So ultimately what happened is I got married in twenty
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: and fifteen. I had had a miscarriage. We had gotten
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: pregnant naturally, and I had had a miscarriage, which is
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: definitely not something I would like wish upon anyone. It's
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: not pleasant in the slightest And probably about six months
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: later we decided we were going to try to use
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: my frozen eggs. And I think one of the interesting
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: things about egg freezing and embryo making is you really
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: become like a scientist of your own body. You learn
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: so much about like what is this machine that you
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: are living with every single day that you know as
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: a person who might have just gotten pregnant and had kids. Naturally, like,
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: it's amazing what your body does when it's you know,
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: carrying an and making a baby. And of the I
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: got eighteen eggs when I was got my egg harvest
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: and that is the word just saying when they harvested
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: my eggs. The first time, I got eighteen eggs, and
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: I have out of that eighteen, I have one baby.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: So you can see how like through the process of
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: where the eggs get frozen, when the embryos get made,
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: when the embryos get tested, there is like a dramatic
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: process where they get reduced down to the amount of
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: viable embryos that you can actually use. So take that
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: for what you will. Every single person is totally different
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: and naturally, I was thirty six when I did this.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: If I was twenty two and freezing my eggs, like,
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: who knows, I would have like a you know, I
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: don't know, like a baseball team.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, a small a small army. Yeah,
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: a small army. Okay, I wanna hurdlesone this. I've never
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: said that word before, but I'm going to like bring
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: this to that and talk about your decision to train
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: and run the marathon. Yeah, So when was that in
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: relation to like all of these amazing life things that
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: are happening for you.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: I was married and I had just had I had
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: had a miscarriage, which, if you have ever had one,
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: is a really dramatic life event because the like emotional
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: and physical roller coaster, like is a combined like tsunami
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: in your life of insanity. And I think at that
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: time I just felt so out of control of my body,
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: and as a person who is really in control of
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: all aspects of my life, to feel that out of
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: control was just a crazy making situation. So at the
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: time I had the opportunity that just showed up in
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: my email inbox to run the New York Marathon, and
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: I was offered the opportunity in June, and the New
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: York Marathon is in November, and that is not enough
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: time for a first time marathon or to run It's
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: I did not recommend it to anyone because I was
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: a non runner in June, and then I ran the
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: New York City Marathon not well and not fast in November.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: But I trained throughout that time, so I took off
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: from thinking about fertility, thinking about being a mom, thinking
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: about having a baby's and I was like, I am
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: just going to take this chunk of months and train
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: for a marathon like it's my job, and not worry
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: about anything else, because I needed to sort of cleanse
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: my mind and my body of the experiences that I
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: had had and I just had to like hit like
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: a literal reset button on how I was feeling.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: And so it's not.
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: Hard to imagine why a marathon could do that for you,
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: because it is such a tremendous physical feat to do.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: I mean, Emily, who has done it like seven plus times,
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: could probably do it in her sleep, but for the
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: rest of us, the single time marathon runners, and I
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: am not doing that again. It was it felt like
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: I was, you know, like really summoning a mountain in
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: my life, and I needed an experience like that to
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: feel like I can do it. I can do something
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: that I will myself to do. And that's why I
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: trained for the New York City Marathon. And it was
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: a tremendous experience firstally, unbelievable, amazing.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I think that a lot of people in the room
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: and listening as well, can probably agree that leaning into
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: fitness and taking on a new goal and setting a
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: new challenge for themselves is the perfect way to kind
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: of organ when you feel like nothing is organized. I
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: know for myself, ever since going freelance or even other
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: traumatic experiences like going through a hard breakup, the first
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: thing I do is like, all right, what's next? Like,
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: what can you take control of right now? How can
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: you deal with this? What can you just like grab
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: the reins and be like, this is my thing that
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: I own and you don't get to decide how it
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: makes me feel. And I mean that's what running does
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: for me. And I'm sure during that time, like it
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: must have just been so like such a release and
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: although probably also a little frustrating if I think about.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: It, Yeah, I mean I think that the difference between
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: marathon training and fertility is.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: That there's a difference.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: Is that marathon training, there is a strategy and a schedule,
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: and if you follow that strategy and schedule, you're going
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: to get a result that is crossing the finish line.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: Fertility is like, unfortunately not the same way. Every part
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: is very different, Every stage in your life is different,
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: and you can unfortunately go the entire distance of the
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: fertility race and not have a positive result. It is possible,
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: and that outcome has happened for several women that I
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: know who've done nothing but put in their absolute hundred
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: percent best effort. So for me, running the marathon at
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: that time was a way to say, Okay, here is
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: the schedule for my next four months. I am going
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: to go to my And it was like I'm going
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: to go to my job and I'm going to train
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: for the marathon and that's all I'm going to do
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: with my life. And literally that's all I did, because
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: I was like, this is the schedule of how my
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: time will be taken up, and that's what I'm doing.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: I remember sitting down with you and telling you that
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: they made leggings that had like really great pockets and
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: you were like, they make those, and I was like, yes,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: it's the day for the marathon, if we please get
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: you them like in six hours. And within like four seconds,
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: I had I on an email with like the woman
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: who rank Global for a Lula Young. I was like,
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: please get her some tights. This woman needs a place
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: to put her cell phone. But she got them and
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: she ran it. I did it now she never do
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: it again.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, it was. It was.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, it doesn't take like a brain surgeon to
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: figure out that. Like it was a time in my
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: life where I was going through a lot and I
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: was super grateful to have an experience like that that.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: I mean, if you've ever run the New York City Marathon,
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: it is like a triumphant experience to like run across
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: the Verizonto Bridge, like it's magical, so really lucky.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: Do you cry?
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was weeping.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: I mean I weep every time I've done it. For
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: I've done it four Okay, So we ran the marathon.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: And then you say to yourself and your situationship, who's
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: probably your Oh he's your husband, Yes, okay, you say
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: to your husband after you've run the marathon that, okay,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: maybe it's time that we use the eggs.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, the whole timeline is like a little
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: bit foggy in my mind. Obviously it was after the marathon,
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: because I was not trying to use frozen embryos at
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: that time. But I ran the marathon in twenty sixteen
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: and I had my daughter in twenty eighteen, so it
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: was the year of twenty seventeen that we decided to
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: use them. And you know, when you get embryos made
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: and you get them genetically tested, what you get is
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: and this is like way down the road of egg freezing,
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: so like don't worry about this part. But like, when
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: you get embryos made and get them genetically tested, what
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: you get is kind of like, for lack of a
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: better word, like a report card about the quality of
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: each of your embryos. And it's chromosomal information about every
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: possible thing that they can learn based on the science
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: of your embryos. And of course chromosomal information includes the
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: gender of the embryos, so you can know how many boys,
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: how many girls, or and additional information about the possible.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Baby that you could have.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: And so at that time, it was you know, uh,
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: came down to the two embryos that we had that
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: were viable to use, and they were what's called like
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: normal aka usable, and the first one that we transferred
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: didn't work.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: So imagine I've gone.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: Through this whole process and then transferred the embryo and
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: it did not quote unquote implant is the word that
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: they use. And again, like I was like, how is
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: it possible that I've done all of this, years of
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: this process and it didn't work. But that's the thing.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: It's like, there's no there is no guarantees for any
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: of this. It's just part of a process that you
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: have to be sort of willing through to step through
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: the various steps and know that, like you know, you're
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: putting in, you know, your best effort and staying as
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: healthy as possible through through the process. I then used
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: the second embryo, which was and is now my baby.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: Your baby, your miracle baby.
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Where were you when you found out that you were
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: actually pregnant?
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: Brunch?
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was at brunch with my husband and I
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: was so because I had had a non implanted experience
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: in the previous embryo transfer. I was so like I
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: had really prepared myself for it to not work, and
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: so when it did, I was just I was like speechless.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: I couldn't believe it. I think that the way that
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: the way that it works, though, is that even when
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: you discover that the embryo transfer worked, you still have
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: to wait several weeks for them. You don't walk around
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: being like, let's order the crib, like you're waiting several
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: weeks to be sure. So you're you're kind of like, frankly,
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: I was like walking on eggshells until I was like
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: twenty weeks pregnant, very obviously having a baby like, but
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: I still was like, well, who knows anything could happen
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: because you're you're so used to being unsure.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: What would you say one of the greatest lessons you
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: learned during that time, specifically those twenty weeks, what was it?
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: I I did not have the experience in my first
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: trimester of like throwing up and being sick, Like I
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: actually felt pretty good.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: I liked being a pregnant person.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: I enjoyed the experience, which is a weird thing to say,
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: but but I wish that I would have not felt
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: so much fear because I look back on that time
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: in my life and you know, I likely to only
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: have one baby and aka only have been pregnant one
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: time through to the you know having of the kid,
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: and I wish I would have been able to like
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: sort of enjoy the whole process a little bit more
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: and not be so like, you know, scared.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: I'm curious, what's your relationship like now with exercise, now
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: that you're no more marathons?
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: So what do you like to do? What do you
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: like to do for me?
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: I think that I am. I'm not trying to like
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: be the like superhero version of myself anymore. Like when
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: you're a parent, there's there's like a series of like
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: you know, fifteen to thirty minute portions of your life
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: where you're like waiting for the baby to finish her
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: nap or like waiting for something to happen. So like
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: I would rather like do small workouts rather than be like, oh,
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: I need to run eighteen miles, Like it's just for
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: me at the moment. It's not going to fit into
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: my current like agenda. So I would rather set myself
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: smaller goals so that I stay active rather than trying
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: to like summit Mount at first.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, very few and far between are going to
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: summit anyway. You know, it's funny. Before we started, I
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: and I were chatting and she's like, so, what studios
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: do you like to go to? And I told her
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: the name of one Lione's done in Chelsea or Tribecca.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: She's like, well, where do you live? And I was like,
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: on the Upper East Side. She's like, I was like,
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: I clearly don't have a significant other or a baby
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: to take care of, Like I have the time to
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: commute or run commuter however I get there on any
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: given day. But you know, it's a little different for everybody.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: It's a little different for everybody. Okay, so life with
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: a babe, Yeah, I.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: Mean, I think being a parent and you know, working
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: in the media business, which has a lot of young
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: women in it. And it so happens that my current
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: company covers this embryo and egg making in our health insurance.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: I'm always saying to my colleagues at work. I'm like,
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: it's as if you are turning down free money, like
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: like if this is covered by your company's insurance, Like
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: it's as if there was money on the table and
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: you're like walking away being like, oh I don't want that,
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: Like it's to me, that's that's how that would that
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: would be. I've really benefited from the fact that Hurst
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: covers this service, and I've definitely evangelized it to my colleagues.
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: But I think that even if you know you're choosing
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: to make this financial commitment on your own, it really
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: is a question of, like, you know, what role do
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: you see becoming a parent in your life and what
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: is your timeline to get there, because for better or
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: for worse, like, no amount of feminism changes the fact
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: that there is a limited time to have healthy eggs.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: And does your company also cover the storage or no? Okay,
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: I think and I just to be completely transparent, so
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: I actually came to get like checked out here as well.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: And I had never really even taken an interest in
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: what was going on with my body. Definitely interested, but
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: not the steps to actually, you know, go through an ultrasound,
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: which is something that a lot of women don't even
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: see unless you become pregnant. And so to see that
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: and see like what's going on in my ovaries and
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: to experience that it was very interesting. And then to
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: find out again like the finances and then you obviously
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: you have to pay a store. Then like, these are
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: things that unless you go through and experience like this,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: you might not really understand or even know, like what's normal,
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: what's not normal, how much it costs, what's going on
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: so well?
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: And also because I had a girl, I often think
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: about what this world of fertility will be like when
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: she is in her twenties, and I, I mean, yeah,
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: we'll have to check back when she enters that stage
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: of her life, but I don't know what it will
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: be like then. But I can only hope that young
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: women will have the opportunity to do this, either you know,
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: as part of their insurance or at a at a
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: low cost, because it just is something that I that
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: I hope for my own kid and for everyone's daughters.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: There are undeniably so many amazing parts of motherhood. Obviously,
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: what would you say if you could even try to
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: articulate one of the best parts of having your daughter
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: has been for you so far?
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: I have never been a person who I don't like babies,
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: like I don't like I'm like not that into kids
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: or like, which is frankly why I waited too long
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: to have kids, Because I've never been someone who was
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: like gushing over other people's babies. But the thing that
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: of the many things that I find magical about being
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: a parent is watching someone experience the world for the
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: first time, and like watching her have experiences, like even
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: things like eating a lemon, you know, which was like
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: very you know, amusing for all of us, how repulsive
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: she found it. But I think that all of those things,
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: which of course happen every day when you have a
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: one and a half year old baby, she's experiencing every
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: part of the world for the first time, and that
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: is pretty awesome.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: Pretty awesome. I want to round this out to your career. Now,
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: what is it like being a working mom for you?
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: Is it something you always envisioned one hundred percent? There
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: was no doubt you were going back to the office.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: Did you debate not going back to the office.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: No, I always knew that I would work. I have
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: to say that I always knew that I.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: Would work, and I went back to work after three
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: months of maternity leave, and yes, the first couple weeks
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: were super hard, but for the most part, I was
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: excited to have that balance. And I work in an
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: environment with a lot of women and moms, So for me,
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: it definitely has been a fairly smooth transition. People understand
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: what you know, the requirements of parenting is like and
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: frankly these days, like don't you feel like we all
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: like work seven days a week, twenty four hours a
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: day anyway, Like you're working from wherever you are, So
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: I think that's pretty like normal for the life of
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: young young people and young professionals, whether you're a parent
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: or not.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: What would you say one of the best pieces of
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: advice you've been offered is as a parent.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, my mother once said to me, which is very
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: funny because it's not bury her, but she was like,
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: just go with the flow, because I am a person
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: who will always like grind against whatever is happening. And
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: she was like, maybe you could just go at the flow.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Go with the flow. And what about then in turn
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: in business because again bringing this back to what we
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: were talking about beginning of being at such a prestigious
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: point in your career with such an admirable title, I'm
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: sure by now you've sat at a table with a
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: lot of really awesome people.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: So the only way to continue to grow your career
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: is to continually take on new challenges no matter what
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: the I know this sounds weird, but like whether you're
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: getting a financial reward or not. I have wanted every
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: year of my career to be trying something and growing
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: something new in my career and taking on new responsibilities
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: regardless of whether I'm getting a raise, and weirdly, that
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: has been more rewarding.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: On all levels for me.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: Totally. I love to close out the podcast this way.
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: And you know, because you're a hurdler, you have the
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: opportunity right now to give the Ayah a piece of advice.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: Who is going through her hurdle moment. She's frustrated with
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: her body, and she's training for the marathon and she's
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: going through it. You have an opportunity to offer her
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: one piece of advice right now. What do you tell her?
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's the advice that you gave the
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: other day, which was about it was about like using
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: mantra to sort of take a hold of your thoughts.
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: Because I think that in any kind of sort of
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: crazy moment in your life where you feel like things
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: are out of control, whether it's you know, trying to
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: get past your twenty fourth mile or any sort of
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: physical challenges, I think that having something that you're coming
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: back to as you know, your center is really important,
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: and you had said that on one of your podcasts
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: and I was like, Oh, I should have done.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: That, I should have done that. Oh the wisdom, it's abundant.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for sitting down with me, Iya. I
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: really appreci having me