Latest / Dear Son, / Dear Son, I've Already Made Those Mistakes | Ep 199 | The Dear Son, Show

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Dear Son, I've Already Made Those Mistakes | Ep 199 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_02]: The worst thing you can do in that moment is start to compromise why that tingle isn't what it is Right or start to oh man try to negotiate the way you're gonna handle But hey, there's you can't even control I'm not like this when you know full will right this one, right when this one get to go in And like I said before when you're out it's y'all
0:25
[SPEAKER_02]: When you're out by yourself, it's you.
0:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it's only very hard to dissociate yourself.
0:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I promise.
0:32
[SPEAKER_02]: From negativity and the group that you were, whether you started or you was just, it's all.
0:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very close relatives.
0:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I've made it clear.
0:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't go out with you.
0:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't go to a bar, party.
0:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't get what it is.
0:48
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's a social thing, drinking,
0:54
[SPEAKER_00]: you and you is a no.
1:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Alright guys, let's get to welcome to the Dead Sun Show.
1:04
[SPEAKER_02]: We have meaningful conversations about life through the lens of Fatherhood.
1:08
[SPEAKER_02]: It is four fathers, those with fathers and the Fatherless nobody's left out.
1:14
[SPEAKER_02]: These are the conversations we want our sons, the access as they grow through life in the manhoods and no topics are off limits.
1:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just one of your hosties, John.
1:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host, Jay Black.
1:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Jay Black, how you feel?
1:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Hot.
1:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Summer time.
1:26
[SPEAKER_00]: DFW, that takes his heat.
1:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I told people,
1:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's feel good.
1:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, don't celebrate that too long, man.
1:35
[SPEAKER_00]: That Texas will not let you down.
1:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm officially acting.
1:39
[SPEAKER_02]: We first moved here.
1:40
[SPEAKER_02]: We were coming from the dust.
1:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
1:42
[SPEAKER_02]: So I was big.
1:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Big energy, man.
1:45
[SPEAKER_02]: It's ain't nothing.
1:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, okay.
1:47
[SPEAKER_02]: This is back to something.
1:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
1:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Ben, eight years.
1:51
[SPEAKER_02]: This is back to something.
1:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I actually still prefer this over what Virginia does, because that's you, Middity.
1:57
[SPEAKER_00]: get nasty.
1:58
[SPEAKER_02]: But we, yeah, y'all got a different, different, different breeder.
2:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, different breeder.
2:03
[SPEAKER_02]: He admittedly, man, um, how's get right into this?
2:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think this will be a little late, at least that's how I started now.
2:12
[SPEAKER_02]: But selfishly, my son is finished in trade school in about a month.
2:17
[SPEAKER_00]: OK.
2:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So I want to look back on, uh, if I had to title it,
2:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's how it went for me.
2:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Listen.
2:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I just had a conference.
2:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know I do this a lot.
2:39
[SPEAKER_00]: People probably think I'll be, I'll be, yes, they know scripted it this way.
2:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, I believe I got a talk to my son yesterday.
2:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and.
2:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I really can't go in the detail about the conversation yet because it's deal development.
2:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And his, his, his, his rat that too, it look because of, be calling him J. J. J.
3:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Be calling him like J.
3:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you see what your dad said?
3:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you see the last episode?
3:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, brother, let him watch it, right?
3:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if he not watch his shame on him, I, I deserve to light him up.
3:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But I know what I'm saying, watch.
3:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen.
3:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, on par with the topic.
3:21
[SPEAKER_00]: We're here too, and while they're making the decisions in the moment, I think it's more stressful for the onlookers who have an idea of that decision typically turns out like this, but I can't say if you're from everything, I got to let you get some of it.
3:50
[SPEAKER_00]: That's that's what I get out of there.
3:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on.
3:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I put the popcorn down man because I can't I'm it's it's happening in my house.
4:01
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a it has been as nerve-wracking for me and I don't know if the severity of change that I've adjusted.
4:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's more of me adjusting it.
4:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah adjusting and uh we had a we had a conversation
4:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I said, hit me about my advice for something.
4:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
4:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And this is like, right?
4:24
[SPEAKER_02]: He was like, uh, I'm thinking about doing this.
4:26
[SPEAKER_02]: What do you think?
4:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
4:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I said, I wouldn't do that.
4:30
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's up to you.
4:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
4:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Thumbs up or exclamation point response.
4:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, in the back.
4:40
[SPEAKER_02]: yesterday was a day in question correct exactly what I wouldn't do.
4:49
[SPEAKER_00]: What does it mean to know where you stood?
4:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't say I was going to do it.
4:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I said you know where and I'm right here.
4:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, because part of the play I communicated you like I just, my timeline, you know, he got it, I got to do this because he need to No sir, no sir, and when he, when he finally left to do the thing, and then what it went into being bad is what it was just
5:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, it was a 46 year old asset to a 19 year old or 18 soon to be 19 year old desire.
5:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So keep your foreign response far away from me.
5:27
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the only one.
5:27
[SPEAKER_00]: That's how.
5:29
[SPEAKER_02]: It was like, man, I think about ride down.
5:31
[SPEAKER_02]: These guys, they don't have guns in the car.
5:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Smoke weed and drink.
5:34
[SPEAKER_02]: It won't that.
5:36
[SPEAKER_02]: It was a dead.
5:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It was and that's he went.
5:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I said, man, I had to remind myself again.
5:43
[SPEAKER_02]: At his age, I was
5:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, a couple, a couple months after I turned 19, I moved out the house this.
5:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So all of my decisions that were whatever level of flagrant, my parents didn't see them and I certainly wasn't calling asking my dad, hey man, hey, I'll think about getting tow off.
6:05
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll think about letting her spend the night.
6:08
[SPEAKER_02]: But she got to be gone about it.
6:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, I'll forget to play my play on the phone.
6:10
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
6:25
[SPEAKER_02]: But just remind people that we human.
6:26
[SPEAKER_00]: We own it and listen, a lot of the episodes may sound like we got it all figured out or the clips do, the clips, the clips, oh yeah, listen, listen.
6:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I, we, constant reminders of, we figure in this thing, I didn't read your time.
6:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Right now, Clark, because,
6:51
[SPEAKER_00]: But some of the stuff you just have to sit back like it, you can't address every single thing.
6:56
[SPEAKER_00]: You're just getting that.
6:57
[SPEAKER_00]: It's great talking points, lessons are being learned on both sides of the fence.
7:02
[SPEAKER_00]: He's learning.
7:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm learning.
7:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Send the stage for them.
7:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Two brothers, you got behind you, that I have to talk to them and watch them.
7:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So now I'm in a phase, uh, I think I slipped into overly hands off, and that's a sminch and got loose on the movie.
7:32
[SPEAKER_00]: So they drive straight for another, but it's been so slippery.
7:37
[SPEAKER_00]: That's his new driving style, you know, metaphoric and speaking.
7:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So now,
7:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I happen to happen to ride with you and ask you a couple of questions about the decisions being made.
7:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And I see the rigidity.
7:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh man, hey, you know this thing that's supposed to ride like that.
7:56
[SPEAKER_00]: We supposed to be going on a straight.
7:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Looking at me like, you feel something?
8:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Brother, no way.
8:06
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the decision that you came up with about this.
8:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not bad, she must have heard.
8:12
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I'm not divulging details here and there.
8:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if I did, you know, that's me betraying this trust, obviously.
8:19
[SPEAKER_00]: But some of this stuff is, is the word then.
8:22
[SPEAKER_00]: So I have to, I have to let it play out.
8:25
[SPEAKER_00]: But buddy, this episode about 250.
8:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Prepare yourself.
8:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Prepare your heart.
8:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna tell you.
8:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Prepare your heart.
8:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna tell you.
8:37
[SPEAKER_02]: So let's know.
8:40
[SPEAKER_02]: If we can go back and adjust our lens to what it was then, right?
8:45
[SPEAKER_02]: It's tough.
8:46
[SPEAKER_02]: First out of high school, whatever this, well, I guess it's kind of similar for both of us.
8:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Because we both kind of moved into adulthood or like we didn't have a traditional college, right?
8:57
[SPEAKER_02]: No, like high school, go to college, no, do whatever, and then jump, jump out of the light.
9:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Those that don't know, depending on what you're doing this journey.
9:08
[SPEAKER_02]: graduated in 1997, June 14th, 97 with Old Man University from Hampton, Rose Hampton, the City of Hampton specifically in Virginia.
9:21
[SPEAKER_02]: went over to you a few months later and a lot happened at summer like that's that's that's that's the summer car gas shut up like we had some it was it was a event full but I still thought I was ready for for college right and even in choosing college
9:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I chose the safer route, right?
9:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I chose the cause of a 20 miles from the house.
9:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I thought I wanted to go away, but it was like, eh, I'm comfortable here.
9:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I was able to have a car, first semester school.
9:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So I like the tether to the house, even though I thought I wanted to be.
9:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was kind of the best of all the girls, right?
9:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
9:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to get a little, I can run home and get something to eat.
10:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, just watch shows, yeah, watch shows, whatever.
10:07
[SPEAKER_02]: My decision making was terrible, right?
10:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So fast for the start, I did a semester, go back to episode with other defined out how my pops dealt with that.
10:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Right?
10:19
[SPEAKER_02]: He was going to encourage me, he encouraged me to go my anus to work.
10:23
[SPEAKER_02]: So I did that and I had to deal with life as an adult when I still wanted to play.
10:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was good, it was good for me, right?
10:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It was really good for me.
10:38
[SPEAKER_02]: But I was also still connected to people that chose the, at least do just enough or where they had to do a school and also enjoy the school.
10:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Like so I was a little, I was a little bitter about it but also like I said, we, I moved out and got my freedom early, but even that decision.
10:57
[SPEAKER_02]: That was, man, high, high, kung fu circle.
11:01
[SPEAKER_02]: My dad's response to that was pretty much I wouldn't do that, but here we are, and here we are.
11:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Now it was a much more amazing decision than I was rapsing with my son.
11:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So just thinking that I knew enough at 19.
11:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And we didn't burn the house now.
11:21
[SPEAKER_02]: We didn't like it like again.
11:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I came up with with chores and structured work.
11:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So I knew how to take care of the house.
11:28
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, change the labels, change the shoes.
11:31
[SPEAKER_02]: It's paint like the stuff that I hated doing.
11:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Me, since when I got out there, but it was so quick that I almost like I made life harder and that's what I'm trying to
11:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Perfectly logical.
11:52
[SPEAKER_02]: What I'm saying at 19 in my dad was think of 19.
11:57
[SPEAKER_02]: My dad was 50.
11:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Roughly 30 year 31 years old in me.
12:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, well, he was saying it was perfectly logical, but he knew that I had to go out there and see if every stove hot when you turn it on.
12:18
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, that's a good reference boy.
12:20
[SPEAKER_02]: That kind of thing, man.
12:21
[SPEAKER_02]: So when you, I made a poster a couple, might have been a weird girl now, like asking guys how many of you were thrusting the man who, or forcing the man who early in the backfire late in life.
12:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's, I think that's the framing that I'm using with him, but again, at 19, what do we know?
12:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It's tricky.
12:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And you touched on a lot of good points in there,
12:48
[SPEAKER_00]: that that's actually helping me deal with the very thing that I was just telling I was talking to my son about here recently.
12:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
12:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So like you said, kind of a recap, um, I graduated high school in 96.
12:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So.
13:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I left high school and went straight into basic AIT, basic training and military.
13:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I joined the Army National Guard, because I was like, man, I could do this thing and go to school at the same time, run it.
13:12
[SPEAKER_00]: So because I went directly like a month later into basic training, by the time I got back from basic and AIT, school had already started.
13:22
[SPEAKER_00]: So everybody was already off the school.
13:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So I come back home, school started August, I get home, maybe September, October.
13:29
[SPEAKER_00]: So I assumed that for tree porch, tree porch Louisiana, most of my partners down at Southern, Southern University in Baton Rouge.
13:37
[SPEAKER_00]: So I go down a weekend and go kick it with my partners.
13:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm fresh home.
13:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Love it.
13:44
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all the wrong.
13:46
[SPEAKER_00]: This is it.
13:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
13:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to school here.
13:49
[SPEAKER_00]: This is this what I'm doing.
13:50
[SPEAKER_00]: So every few weekends, I'm sliding over there going hang out
13:58
[SPEAKER_00]: me as a father watching my son do that I'll be like, hey, I wouldn't do that.
14:04
[SPEAKER_00]: You said it's this not just not lining up strike one, you know, flip past that move forward.
14:12
[SPEAKER_00]: go to school that following semester.
14:14
[SPEAKER_00]: So much lack guidance in being thrusted in the manhood.
14:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I hitchhike.
14:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I caught a ride with my homeboy from streetport down to bad news like, I mean, let me kiss that ride with you down there.
14:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Go to school.
14:25
[SPEAKER_02]: You registered?
14:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have a car yet.
14:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing.
14:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So I jump in the car with Travis.
14:31
[SPEAKER_00]: We slide down.
14:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to be Travis.
14:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
14:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, absolutely.
14:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So because I'm so misguided,
14:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even talk to an advisor, nothing.
14:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, what's your major?
14:44
[SPEAKER_00]: He was like, physics, bet.
14:47
[SPEAKER_00]: My major physics.
14:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Give me the list of classes you took last semester.
14:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm taking those this semester.
14:52
[SPEAKER_00]: So.
14:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is a full array.
14:57
[SPEAKER_00]: So I grab his whole schedule boom.
14:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I go drop, get all the classes.
15:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I run it.
15:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So now it's time to go into the next semester.
15:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Mind you, I'm in the,
15:06
[SPEAKER_00]: The male freshman dorm that was notorious for this way, you get your stripes said, right here.
15:12
[SPEAKER_00]: It's good.
15:13
[SPEAKER_02]: It's good.
15:14
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the way you ever doing what you want to be, but it's what you want to be.
15:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So I see they in this push on us, don't.
15:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, how I get in here?
15:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you got to be an honest college.
15:23
[SPEAKER_00]: How you do that?
15:24
[SPEAKER_00]: You got to test the end and be right back.
15:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Went to the office, talked to the register, set up for the test, passed the test.
15:32
[SPEAKER_00]: They put me an honest college.
15:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like,
15:35
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like, hey, but your schedule, now you have to add these courses.
15:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Say less.
15:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, when I get the movie and up there, they were like, oh, no, that's full.
15:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, man, I didn't do this for the workload.
15:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here for the room.
15:46
[SPEAKER_00]: They were like, it don't work like this, huh?
15:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you can really pull me out that honest college.
15:51
[SPEAKER_00]: She was like, no, sir, the school is you, and you're sticking with it.
15:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Just, I felt robbed.
15:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So now fast forward again.
16:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So the next semester, this time the re-resistant for the courses.
16:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, man, what was your next semester of classes you took?
16:08
[SPEAKER_00]: It's time for me to re-up for the net.
16:09
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, no, man, I changed my major to accounting.
16:12
[SPEAKER_00]: But I went change my major to accounting.
16:15
[SPEAKER_02]: He was your counselor.
16:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm shadowing like this beautiful.
16:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm one something else to behind.
16:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Y'all, all I gotta do is keep catching what you put in down.
16:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So I switched to accounting, we got the schedule all night.
16:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So eventually I figured out, you gotta go talk to these people on your own for yourself.
16:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Fast forward, fast forward, first child comes.
16:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I go to school three years, three and a half years, I drop out like, I know you were there for.
16:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I was three, three and a half years in.
16:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So girlfriend at the time, she's pregnant.
16:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Morning sickness for the whole first trial master.
16:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So three months, she can't walk.
16:55
[SPEAKER_00]: She's six, six.
16:56
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had a one-bed room apartment.
16:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to move her in my apartment because I stayed on campus once a semester.
17:02
[SPEAKER_00]: when I can't do this.
17:03
[SPEAKER_00]: When I bought me a car and got me an apartment, put her in an apartment because she's so sick, not knowing this for the developed development.
17:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So boom, that turned into a life, baby born, the year after that, our dad passed, year after that we get married.
17:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Now it's life is happening.
17:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm out of school, fast forward all the way to now.
17:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm looking at the decisions,
17:31
[SPEAKER_00]: If I looked back at those times with my older 48 year old mind, no, don't do that.
17:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Do this.
17:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't do that.
17:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I would have absolutely intervened in my son's life like, no, you're going to crash out.
17:47
[SPEAKER_00]: But looking back, I kid you nuts.
17:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I probably wouldn't be sitting here right now today with the information that I have and the people like man has a great perspective man you don't want to know how I got it earned this so those were my training years so they in that puts me in the position of
18:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Are we robin' our sons?
18:11
[SPEAKER_00]: When we like, hey man, that's gonna crash out.
18:15
[SPEAKER_00]: How much of a crash should you allow because you saw a life without crash sometimes creates the worse.
18:26
[SPEAKER_00]: delusional driver.
18:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And I hate to say you need to have an accident to understand the severity of making the right decisions and choices.
18:36
[SPEAKER_00]: As it pertains to driving, if we're going to stick with that.
18:40
[SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes after that rate,
18:45
[SPEAKER_00]: You're aware of this.
18:46
[SPEAKER_00]: You have a heightened awareness.
18:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Your decision making is now sharp.
18:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't afford to face that again.
18:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't go through that again.
18:53
[SPEAKER_00]: The danger of it, though, is sometimes all it takes is one wreck for it to be over.
18:58
[SPEAKER_02]: It would be over.
19:00
[SPEAKER_02]: That that's what you draw to life.
19:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it's kind of a sedious role either way because at whatever age, when that when when they get to us sitting,
19:12
[SPEAKER_02]: where we are in life sitting, talking to each other.
19:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, their story is going to make sense to that point.
19:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, right.
19:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And no matter, no matter what we do to try to reshape it or shift or help them avoid an obstacle, their story is going to be their story.
19:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I think the difference is as a parent is just very difficult to watch somebody potentially endure a pain that you already had the data on.
19:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not even saying this isn't fun.
19:47
[SPEAKER_02]: What you're about to act.
19:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I got a story that I did I did not because it's going to take me to a place.
19:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, say, me to a place mentally.
19:56
[SPEAKER_00]: That I'm over.
19:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
19:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
19:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I get it, son.
19:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
20:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
20:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
20:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I get it.
20:03
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I'm saying I get it.
20:06
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just very.
20:11
[SPEAKER_02]: When you say a robin' on me, it's struck a chord because it's what their story is intended for the generation of followin' them.
20:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Because that's really how we make sense of it.
20:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure, if you could go back and tweak this one thing and now you got $10 million instead of $10.
20:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Certainly, but you don't, you have no idea what life would have done all the twists and turns that would have happened,
20:42
[SPEAKER_02]: So the, the, the, I guess, maybe the message is in the, in the advising is Make sure it's leading to some kind of fulfillment.
20:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
20:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Or Be honest with yourself that this is not a fulfilling thing.
20:57
[SPEAKER_02]: At least knowing, because I think there's some value into not necessarily saying that
21:02
[SPEAKER_02]: But no, I don't think there's anything wrong with doing something unfulfilling.
21:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I think there's danger in doing something that you believe will fulfill you for years, aka my corporate story, to only find out.
21:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep, yep, yep, to only find out there.
21:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep, because even even the not so pleasant or productive decisions that you feel for feels the moment, or detrimental.
21:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And you like this, this living.
21:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to get up, I'm going to work and when I get off in 5 o'clock, 501 to 351 to 859 a.m. tomorrow belongs to me.
21:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So now you buy into nine to five is yours, you people's.
21:55
[SPEAKER_00]: 501 to 859 a.m. That's all me son.
22:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I know right now this feels amazing.
22:06
[SPEAKER_00]: You think you're on top of the world.
22:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I blow this the day I get this back next Friday.
22:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
22:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
22:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, a lot of
22:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, man, you look at you.
22:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't look at me because I promise you there's portions are our versions of the story you haven't gotten.
22:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't give you certain parts of the story because I may stand on you stand up.
22:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't give it to you at the wrong time.
22:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it'll glorify the fullerry.
22:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the delivery means everything.
22:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's a fine line.
22:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you'll be talking about a thing that he shouldn't be doing.
22:56
[SPEAKER_00]: you and if you're not aware that you got you have this gaze on your face and this smile because you're thinking of the happy moments and then you're going to the miserable parts of it but you're still laughing about it.
23:08
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not like the highlight because you're still laughing because man that was stupid we made it and they you know you're not knowing you just triggered them
23:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to get some stupidity in my life.
23:21
[SPEAKER_00]: So I can have these memories with my friends.
23:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't even match stores with my dad.
23:26
[SPEAKER_00]: You shouldn't.
23:27
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no.
23:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Ah, and that can apply to so many ritualistic parts of my lives.
23:35
[SPEAKER_00]: that man that should be avoided, man don't go do that.
23:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
23:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Look, I happy y'all all the other time your friends come to town and y'all start talking about these things.
23:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It's almost like y'all bonded on it.
23:45
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a trauma bond sign.
23:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, true.
23:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a trauma bond.
23:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think I do y'all look a little fulfilled to me.
23:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you go, you will find your moments on don't they?
23:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I always say, man, make do mistakes.
23:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I get it.
23:59
[SPEAKER_02]: part of it, part of sharing what I was challenged you in just a little bit is, um, like how else would they be aware?
24:11
[SPEAKER_02]: How else would they be aware and also related ability when they do find themselves in the place?
24:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Because then there's a perspective of
24:21
[SPEAKER_02]: My son and my daughter fell in trouble fell into a hard time, and I also had an information from my hard time, so I become relatable to them in that moment.
24:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, there's also, did you let me fall into that?
24:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Heart, I didn't know that was, I didn't know that was in me.
24:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I didn't know our family had a tendency to X, Y, Z, because I believe those are real things that they can't pass along.
24:46
[SPEAKER_00]: That is.
24:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Till how you feel.
24:48
[SPEAKER_00]: That is.
24:48
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's, it's, again, the way in the timing of the delivery makes sense because like part of this journey is like, man, I'll catch a stuff with E-Light and I was nervous about.
24:59
[SPEAKER_02]: with Donovan and also their access to information is greater and faster every, I don't even know that different, I guess they are different generations.
25:12
[SPEAKER_02]: That seven years apart.
25:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So they might be the way they're doing it now, they're in the side, depending on which, that's what we're saying.
25:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I think they be honor and Eli might be different, but as they get close to date, they might not be.
25:30
[SPEAKER_02]: picking your point, picking where you shoot, right?
25:32
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's when you said that I was thinking like, what, what's the decision tree in your head if any of Sheridan now will?
25:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, not yet, Sheridan now, not at all, or later.
25:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I held some details of stores until he got to college.
25:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Catch.
25:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And now when we revisit, because now you've shown me, there's a,
26:00
[SPEAKER_00]: You have the potential.
26:01
[SPEAKER_02]: After two.
26:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
26:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
26:02
[SPEAKER_00]: After two.
26:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So I got, I had to hold.
26:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, let me give you the adult.
26:11
[SPEAKER_00]: By the very second of this conversation, the other shoe.
26:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the other shoe, which to that point, I love an example you gave with that as far as the bumpers, and they widened the older that they get.
26:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So of course, the bumpers are narrow, the younger they are, when they're kids and children small children as they grow, you widened and widened and widened and eventually you kind
26:38
[SPEAKER_00]: a correction with the hand or God.
26:40
[SPEAKER_00]: So the same because in high school, you see little things and it's like, hey, you'll slide them a little nugget trying to give you a more baseline because the foundation has to be there prior to high school.
26:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Now it's enhancements.
26:57
[SPEAKER_00]: So within it thing,
26:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Now you're on a level of, I can show you the recipe book.
27:03
[SPEAKER_00]: You heard me like, you own the fried machine.
27:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't give you the secret sauce recipe.
27:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if you've bought it and you're not capable.
27:11
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to master these things first.
27:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So now because you're up a level management now of your own life, now, hey, hey, hey, listen, I got to give you this.
27:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Do what you will with it, tweak it, change it, it may not apply whatsoever.
27:28
[SPEAKER_00]: This, this path right here there possibly will be a detour that presents itself, I took it, crash me out.
27:39
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a detour.
27:40
[SPEAKER_00]: It was kind of like on the cartoons, man.
27:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a cliff.
27:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they painted it.
27:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they look like it was a whole road and it was a cliff.
27:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay to court, son.
27:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Sicy a bit.
27:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Sicy.
27:56
[SPEAKER_00]: But me, my awful of taking turns because her turn is leaving the path.
28:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay on the bus.
28:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay on the bus.
28:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
28:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay on the bus, man.
28:05
[SPEAKER_00]: The hour stopping for gas and you didn't call the oobles.
28:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'm gonna be at this location for a little while.
28:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, man, you're about to get live.
28:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
28:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Just.
28:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Get your information, get your knowledge, get your experiences, not trying to start your growth, but sometimes we can over-indulge in an experience and now convince ourselves that, this, this, me.
28:32
[SPEAKER_00]: This me right here, I'm supposed to do this right here.
28:35
[SPEAKER_00]: How are you over in Doge?
28:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I'm not telling you what you are, what's not you.
28:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I guess with that being said is, because you can't, you can't, you can't false create or give these, so this is what'll happen if I hear you.
28:57
[SPEAKER_00]: But it looked, it looked all the different that what you were playing in.
29:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Especially if it don't happen that way the first time.
29:02
[SPEAKER_00]: It didn't, it didn't, it didn't, listen, to that point.
29:08
[SPEAKER_00]: wife and I watching a one of those shows, I don't know.
29:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And on there, this guy goes to a party and a relative was like, hey man, you have tight.
29:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Pop this.
29:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And he was like, I'm going to do that.
29:26
[SPEAKER_01]: He was like, your type popped this.
29:32
[SPEAKER_01]: He does it.
29:33
[SPEAKER_01]: And the rest of his night is a movie.
29:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, and I tell a wife, I say, you know how dangerous that is because nothing bad happened.
29:46
[SPEAKER_00]: He had the most memorable night of his life.
29:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's going to say it was all because of,
29:55
[SPEAKER_00]: outside source.
29:57
[SPEAKER_00]: So now, in order for me to enjoy myself like this in the future, this is a part of my night.
30:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to start my night with this in order for it to be epic, for it to be a movie, for it to be memorable, for it to be enjoyable.
30:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not the case.
30:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes a bad decision will go so perfectly that it convinces you this the way to do this.
30:22
[UNKNOWN]: Younger.
30:23
[UNKNOWN]: Younger.
30:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Younger.
30:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Younger.
30:23
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30:24
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30:24
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30:24
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30:24
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30:25
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30:25
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30:25
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30:25
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30:26
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30:26
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30:26
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30:26
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30:26
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30:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Younger.
30:27
[UNKNOWN]: Younger.
30:27
[UNKNOWN]: Younger.
30:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:29
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30:29
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30:29
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30:29
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30:31
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30:31
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30:31
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30:32
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30:32
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30:33
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30:34
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30:34
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30:35
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30:35
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30:35
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30:36
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30:37
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30:37
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30:37
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30:37
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30:38
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30:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Younger.
30:39
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30:39
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30:39
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30:39
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30:40
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30:40
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30:40
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30:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Younger.
30:41
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30:41
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30:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:42
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30:42
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30:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Younger.
30:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Young
30:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Certain experiences, I gotta be mindful of that because it'd be, Sun'd be mindful of what becomes normal to you.
30:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
30:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
30:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it was, it was normal to me, it was normal to the crew and both are the blame.
31:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I'm very accepting of my actions.
31:11
[SPEAKER_02]: It's also normalized, which makes me very something of my actions.
31:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So because they aren't what I'm all correct.
31:19
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's there's a deck.
31:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, even when what you're doing is not as bad as, right?
31:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, it's only we only only take two shots.
31:40
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the compromising the level of stupidity that's acceptable for you is a slippery slope, the slippery Yes, I only do this.
31:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I only I'm only and the number of dangerous situations that my stupidity and The stupidity and the collective stupidity of the group put us in Like it it's It's not even really laughable
32:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Shouldn't we when you slow the story then when you're really looking at all of the when you slow the story now that it was like, uh, uh, it is not I always is not for any kind of attempt to be a tough guy.
32:24
[SPEAKER_02]: It really is not when bullets fly.
32:29
[SPEAKER_02]: The bullets gonna go with a bullet's gonna go.
32:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I promise if you choose to be with bullets are going you got to deal with where the bullets are going.
32:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And there's been way too many scenarios that I won't say it became normal, but it was a blip on the radar.
32:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
32:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
32:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh man, yeah, you forgot the pop and over there, we had like, luckily, luckily, I had, oh.
33:08
[SPEAKER_01]: what they say, the reflexes were cat like, I know for a fact, 60% of my children don't have those.
33:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And when you can say, 60% of you, at least get five.
33:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Just quit mad.
33:25
[SPEAKER_02]: These are these are not partial children.
33:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying at three or five, the certain don't play it up.
33:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't, I don't want those moments to, I really don't want you with the experience.
33:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I die as dumb.
33:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Literally, die as bullets.
33:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Literally.
33:49
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not the same.
33:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
33:52
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the same.
33:53
[SPEAKER_00]: But the criticism will come well, you don't have them ready for life.
33:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want that life to be their reality.
33:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I get be prepared for the words.
34:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Should the words never happen?
34:04
[SPEAKER_00]: It's better to be prepared for it and never need those experiences.
34:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I get all of that.
34:09
[SPEAKER_00]: However, you have to be mindful of the environment and the mindset that you create.
34:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Three friends in a car in high school party and we flipped the car in the ditch.
34:22
[SPEAKER_00]: We rolled the car back over, drove it to the car wash, washed it off, washed all the branches in the mud off the car and went to the next party.
34:32
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going from one party to another.
34:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Flip the car back over, washed it off, went to the party like nothing happened.
34:44
[SPEAKER_01]: left and memorable.
34:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, I can't believe Travis was in the car.
34:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Jay was in the car.
34:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
34:57
[SPEAKER_02]: My car caught on fire on the way to the club.
35:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want my sons at
35:08
[SPEAKER_02]: was Jerry, you know, and a wire going from the amp.
35:13
[SPEAKER_02]: It was free, and literally the back seat behind me.
35:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I hit my boy, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, my foot height.
35:24
[SPEAKER_02]: My recent piece of am, my god, man.
35:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Not because of that situation.
35:27
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
35:39
[SPEAKER_02]: We still have the rest of the night and in Virginia.
35:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Virginia is not like the reason in the two o'clock lights come one to decide lights coming on in the spot.
35:49
[SPEAKER_02]: One third in last call one to decide you see, you see what you was working on.
35:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you get to get your money and get your moment to see if what you saw Matt up was the same.
36:05
[SPEAKER_02]: thing.
36:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Who happens in a dog when we come to the lake?
36:07
[SPEAKER_02]: They were talking about the clothes.
36:10
[SPEAKER_02]: They were talking about the clothes.
36:11
[SPEAKER_02]: They were talking about the clothes.
36:13
[SPEAKER_02]: But the like in, in, in, in, in, in, in my younger years.
36:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
36:22
[SPEAKER_02]: obstacles.
36:24
[SPEAKER_02]: weren't warnings.
36:26
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, obstacles were to be overcome by any means to get to the food and then at that night that we got to the club, shoot out, shoot out, braw inside, tear gas was not good.
36:44
[SPEAKER_02]: It didn't get us to get everybody out.
36:46
[SPEAKER_02]: We running out jumping and ditches after was trying to dug bullets and still chalked it out to the night of our
36:54
[SPEAKER_02]: in the same morning.
36:55
[SPEAKER_00]: The following in the same mood.
36:57
[SPEAKER_00]: The following.
36:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And as the part of I'll listen, I'll learn later in life, pay attention to the signs.
37:04
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had a rule, but I didn't develop.
37:08
[SPEAKER_02]: It seems to be a rule, but I'm just like, until until until about 20
37:23
[SPEAKER_00]: If one more thing goes wrong, I'm not supposed to do this.
37:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we suppose to go jump out on the bikes tonight and I pull my bike out to watch it and I go to start it and it zap out of some wrong.
37:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Tonight ain't it?
37:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Not yet.
37:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Yo, that's just one thing.
37:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Not yet.
37:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't quit.
37:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't give up.
37:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not gonna make you a quitter.
37:50
[SPEAKER_00]: That's just one thing, so I address and fix that thing.
37:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I just forgot to put my battery tender, my battery load, charge the battery, we go it.
38:00
[SPEAKER_00]: So if I fix that, fire that board, watch them up clean them up and now, I'll change trippin'.
38:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's do.
38:12
[SPEAKER_00]: That's when I start, I begin to say, it one more thing goes wrong.
38:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not supposed to be out.
38:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Get that address.
38:20
[SPEAKER_00]: You got one more thing, seriously.
38:22
[SPEAKER_00]: If the next thing happens, put it up.
38:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Something from the happen, this just saves your life.
38:32
[SPEAKER_00]: You're about to get yourself in.
38:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Some kind of fooler read that you shouldn't be live the fight another day.
38:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I haven't had that conversation with my son yet.
38:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna have it before he leaves back for college for school.
38:48
[SPEAKER_00]: We're having that conversation.
38:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, hey, man, uh, Petit to the science.
38:52
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a read the room conversation.
38:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
38:55
[SPEAKER_00]: The read the room also has something to do with yourself.
38:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, petit and if if things just are too difficult, the universe intervening, like, hey, you don't need to stop.
39:07
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't do this tonight.
39:09
[SPEAKER_02]: As soon as I was, um, and as we were collectively, I still had a degree of nine doing that.
39:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Now you're going, I ain't, yeah, I ain't going over there.
39:20
[SPEAKER_02]: that a reason I wouldn't go over there and might not necessarily be because it was smart.
39:25
[SPEAKER_02]: It might have been connected to something else, but it was something like, ah, I don't really fool with that person.
39:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And I really, I really ended it.
39:36
[SPEAKER_02]: So I want in his, in their discovery of trying new things, because like you say, you don't want to,
39:48
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't want to deflate them totally to where, you know, they are hurt, bumping a log in the house, right?
39:55
[SPEAKER_02]: But also, have the awareness to know when something really isn't for you.
40:02
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a difference being, like, I'm not saying you go to the gym and your friends push you to the left heavy.
40:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, right, right.
40:08
[SPEAKER_02]: You didn't think you could do that.
40:09
[SPEAKER_02]: You didn't think it was for in theirs.
40:11
[SPEAKER_02]: There's value.
40:12
[SPEAKER_02]: There's scenarios with that works and that works well.
40:17
[SPEAKER_02]: But when you, when you get that tingle, that the worst thing you can do in that moment is start to compromise why that tingle isn't what it is, right?
40:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Or start to, oh man, try to negotiate the way you're going to handle behaviors you can't even control.
40:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not like this, when you know full well, right, this one, right, when this one
40:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And like I said before, when you're out it's y'all, when you're out by yourself, it's you.
40:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it's only very hard to dissociate yourself from negativity and the group that you with, whether you started or you were just, it's y'all.
41:02
[SPEAKER_00]: At very close relatives, I've made it clear.
41:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't go out with you.
41:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't go to a bar, party, I don't get on what it is.
41:12
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's a social thing, drinking you and you, it's a no.
41:21
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, no, I don't care.
41:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care what that looks like.
41:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Sounds like I'll be what you want.
41:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going anywhere with you.
41:28
[SPEAKER_00]: You yourself control is not there.
41:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Gotta have it.
41:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You stay ready for the full of it.
41:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And then so that's why those conversations are absolutely important.
41:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I talked to my sons about that like, hey, even brain and mobile, I talked to them like, hey, listen, that go along to get along crap.
41:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, that's the quickest way to fooler it because you will look up and you're not like that.
41:53
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're only a certain way when a certain person is in the room, you need to evaluate that behavior.
41:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I like this when this person is around?
42:02
[SPEAKER_00]: How does that brings out what?
42:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it an inner you or is that a yearn to be accepted by this person?
42:17
[SPEAKER_00]: If that's the interview, I'm grateful that it came out exposed it, so we can see it, but we absolutely need to address it.
42:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because that can't be.
42:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm grateful I said it before.
42:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm still grateful that my oldest line is still asking me what I think about it.
42:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
42:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I guess sometimes my immediate thought is like,
42:44
[SPEAKER_02]: It's funny in the moment, but I don't make it.
42:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I try not to make it either.
42:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Because losing that connection, I know what it is and it's not because my father did anything to me.
42:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I took that connection away.
42:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I didn't think we had that.
43:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think I had that access.
43:02
[SPEAKER_02]: How did the he has stories to tell me, right?
43:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Make it hard.
43:06
[SPEAKER_02]: The sauce.
43:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Sump.
43:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Especially with my sense of humor.
43:13
[SPEAKER_00]: With my sense of humor, some of the stuff that he does, I laugh, but like I don't, I don't poke fun at him, like he or laugh as he's telling me, because he knows my outlook on that.
43:33
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
43:36
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
43:39
[SPEAKER_00]: That's that.
43:40
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
43:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll have to practice the restraint of like you say, if I can, if I can hold it and not laugh, especially if it's something serious, then it's not as difficult.
43:54
[SPEAKER_00]: But if it's something light-hearted, and he's like, man, I really, I had to stay and figure it out and I did this.
44:01
[SPEAKER_00]: All of these options, and you chose Z.
44:06
[SPEAKER_00]: You made it all the way to Z.
44:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, man, as we are we wrapped man, I I want to encourage parents before this specifically don't don't put all of them conversations off until a later date no don't don't don't put all of them conversations if you feel that tingle or or some to present us uncomfortable for you
44:35
[SPEAKER_02]: My board worked, worked with that discomfort immediately.
44:39
[SPEAKER_00]: They're being approached in middle school now.
44:42
[SPEAKER_00]: So please don't feel like, man, by the time you get the hottest high school, it may be too late.
44:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Somebody's having the conversation that you want.
44:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I promise, your life and I promise, their lives aren't promised.
44:52
[SPEAKER_00]: The decision or the opportunity or the cross road or the decision, whatever it is, you don't have a map.
44:59
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no schedule.
45:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, man, at 12 noon in the 11th grade on the Thursday.
45:06
[SPEAKER_00]: somebody going to come at that boy by some plate you missed it right you missed it you missed it don't be the pair that misses it because you feel like that's uncomfortable you know what's really uncomfortable they'm going to do the thing that you didn't talk to them about and now they're a lifelong consequences associated with the lack of you have in that conversation
45:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, how bad it is.
45:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I've said stuff to my son.
45:35
[SPEAKER_00]: He just lab like man there.
45:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, hey, hey, if I can't talk to you about it.
45:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, who can't deposit.
45:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, come on, sit down.
45:45
[SPEAKER_02]: But let's let's chop it up.
45:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
45:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, episode 199 man.
45:50
[SPEAKER_02]: There's only one but Twix this.
45:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, 200.
45:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, hey, hey, it's a slow roll.
45:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And because
45:59
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be a couple of recorded, there's just going to be after.
46:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
46:03
[SPEAKER_02]: They just come out after.
46:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
46:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So look, a couple of things, like she has subscribed, got a lot of feedback.
46:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I did a real, I didn't go live.
46:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I dropped a real saying, hey, episode 200 is coming up, if you would like to be in the build and if you think what you do alive, you think
46:26
[SPEAKER_00]: audience or guest or whatever.
46:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And some people restart a lot of people do it.
46:31
[SPEAKER_00]: They would like to do it live live live do it live.
46:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be in the room.
46:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be in the room.
46:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm open.
46:42
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just I wanted to be.
46:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we got to sit down and talk how we want that.
46:50
[SPEAKER_00]: To your zen.
46:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I've had some other thoughts creep in in terms of, and I don't think it's compromising, but we talking to it.
46:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
47:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Does it need to be an episode, like do we need to worry about it being an episode or do we just need to celebrate it?
47:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Because that's different, that's different, yep.
47:15
[SPEAKER_02]: It'd be some footage from it but like right to come on celebrate with it to either delay The timing of release there because you know me like I'm
47:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna do my best not to drop this tomorrow.
47:29
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm saying like, not to drop this tomorrow.
47:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So you know what that mean?
47:36
[SPEAKER_02]: 200 got to drop next week.
47:37
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
47:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So like, that's an option to celebrate it and not have.
47:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I think that limits itself to us actually or enjoying it in a different way.
47:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Not that we would enjoy the actual episode with.
47:54
[SPEAKER_00]: But.
47:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, just though, I like that because, because that's more of a...
48:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Let your hair down, you know what I mean?
48:08
[SPEAKER_00]: It's lighthearted.
48:09
[SPEAKER_00]: People can actually come out.
48:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause it's different, everybody comes out, but they're coming in, it's a controlled environment.
48:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, hey, hey, we still got business.
48:16
[SPEAKER_00]: You can do it.
48:16
[SPEAKER_00]: We got to shoot the episode.
48:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Selfish leave for me, you know, I'm gonna be.
48:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you, you, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
48:29
[SPEAKER_00]: If you come to a live show, when you come not yet because you're coming, when you come to a live show, you'll understand what we mean.
48:38
[SPEAKER_00]: If you look at these genres, he's in a zone.
48:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You're there, but you're not.
48:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I say you're, I mean the crowd, the crowd is there, but as far as your concern, Camlos, like to lay out vision, anything.
48:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm editing already.
48:54
[SPEAKER_00]: You already did it.
48:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So everybody's like, hey guys,
48:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, man.
49:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, he said it.
49:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's why, to your point, I think a celebration would be more beneficial than, because it's kind of like a wedding.
49:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I tell people that when they're going into a wedding like, hey, at your reception, you're not gonna...
49:13
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not for you.
49:14
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not for you.
49:15
[SPEAKER_00]: All of the time and money and efforts you're gonna spend towards food and beverage and all of your family is there.
49:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Friends are there that you haven't seen that have nothing to do with each other, so they don't know the,
49:26
[SPEAKER_00]: all they know is their pocket with you and you have a thousand of those.
49:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So between a thousand of those moments, the night is over and you have nothing done.
49:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You haven't eaten, you haven't had anything to drink.
49:37
[SPEAKER_00]: So to your point, that works.
49:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm gonna say, yeah, thanks.
49:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Let us know what you think.
49:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Depending on when you see this or if you see this after 200,
49:51
[SPEAKER_02]: What would you have done?
49:53
[SPEAKER_02]: What would you have done?
49:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Who would you have done this?
49:55
[SPEAKER_02]: What's your flashback?
49:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
50:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I like that.
50:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Kits are neutral spot in the middle somewhere.
50:03
[SPEAKER_00]: That way, the South, DFWN North, DFW, can meet in the middle.
50:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Hang up.
50:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Put that in motion.
50:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I guess it'll be some footage.
50:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but it won't have to be like so overproduced from my perspective I got somebody I can reach out to to a neto at a scenario you know you want to Oklahoma That's the middle.
50:27
[SPEAKER_00]: That's Oklahoma downtown after Dallas is Oklahoma so downtown Dallas That's Castile Dallas problem
50:37
[SPEAKER_02]: But anything outside, that was for obvious over there.
50:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, come home with me.
50:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Nation, we try to go to Dint.
50:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to just run out to Dint.
50:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, Lee.
50:47
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
50:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Irving.
50:50
[SPEAKER_01]: That's like last cleaners.
50:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that Irving?
50:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
50:55
[SPEAKER_02]: No, it's like the way you say it.
50:56
[SPEAKER_02]: You said a real dismissal at that point.
50:59
[SPEAKER_02]: That's last cleaners, right?
51:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's why I see the signs.
51:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it?
51:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
51:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
51:04
[SPEAKER_02]: One of my says, shouldn't three different.
51:05
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
51:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I was clean as it's going more to Dallas.
51:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
51:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But either way.
51:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Either way.
51:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
51:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
51:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's a good central point for you.
51:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care.
51:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't, you know.
51:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
51:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want you to know.
51:19
[SPEAKER_00]: One time for the one time.
51:22
[UNKNOWN]: I could do it.
51:24
[SPEAKER_00]: or do a reach out, no a lady with a spot.
51:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And if she still has it, that's a goal.
51:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Close your eyes.
51:30
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a goal.
51:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Live on camera, see what she has to let you out here.
51:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Working through stuff.
51:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all, you're a family now.
51:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe the gym.
51:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe only the number so.
51:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
51:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, good point.
51:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe only the number so.
51:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Have we got a announcement for the members?
51:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And not if I joined.
51:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, yes, we had to say that without members, but back to the regular audience.
51:53
[SPEAKER_02]: That's going to do for this episode.
51:54
[SPEAKER_02]: We appreciate you guys, God bless you, peace.
51:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Peace.
51:56
[SPEAKER_02]: You missed what you missed.