Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #258 Introducing Kylie's Mum

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#258 Introducing Kylie's Mum · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, you were just so mature beyond your years. You've
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: frawed me with your ability to do things and to
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: learn quickly. And you were just such a responsible child.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom
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  Speaker 1: and dad.
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  Speaker 3: Every now and again we do a podcast that I
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  Speaker 3: get so excited about and stays the day because I
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: don't have to say very much at all. It's all
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  Speaker 3: on That's unusual, it's all on you. Well, actually it's not.
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  Speaker 3: We've got a special guest Mother's Day. Oh hang on,
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  Speaker 3: I'm doctor Justin Colson. Always forget. I get excited about
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: this stuff and I forget. I'm doctor Justin Colson. I've
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  Speaker 3: written a bunch of books about making your family happy.
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  Speaker 3: And you are my wife, Kylie, with the mum of
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  Speaker 3: our sixth daughters. And we are talking to your mum
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  Speaker 3: because Mother's Day this weekend, and I thought, we thought,
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  Speaker 3: how fun would it be to introduce Kylie's mum to
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: everyone who listens to the podcast.
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  Speaker 4: No, I'm feeling a bit nervous. I think I'm going
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  Speaker 4: to be in the hot seat somehow.
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  Speaker 5: I'm really excited for this.
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  Speaker 3: I've got some curly questions that I want to ask
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  Speaker 3: your mum about you growing up.
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  Speaker 5: Natasha. Thanks for joining us.
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  Speaker 2: You're welcome.
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  Speaker 5: He is how nervous I'm smiling.
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  Speaker 3: I know we can't see you, but I get the
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  Speaker 3: sense that it's a nervous smile. Hey, let's just start
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: with a brief intro. So you and Les have been married.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: For forty three years.
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  Speaker 4: Wow, that's only twenty more than us.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's amazing. And you've got three daughters.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, my husband has a daughter to a previous marriage, Lisa,
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  Speaker 2: but she's very much one of our own.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, we love Lisa. She's good value.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah she is.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, so mum of three daughters. For if you include Lisa,
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  Speaker 3: which we should, Let's talk about Kylie, because really that's all.
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  Speaker 3: I am really interested in what it was like to Kylie.
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  Speaker 5: How awesome was she.
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  Speaker 2: Kylie was an awesome child. She was very, very gifted
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  Speaker 2: and just a delight. Actually, Kylie was my love child
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  Speaker 2: the only way I can describe Kylie. And she fulfilled
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  Speaker 2: all of the dreams that I had of becoming a
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  Speaker 2: mother for the first time.
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  Speaker 3: Oh that is I'm genuinely sitting here getting all weepy
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  Speaker 3: because you've said that. And when you say love child,
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  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't want to dive too deep here.
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  Speaker 3: But do you mean in every sense of the word
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  Speaker 3: or do you just mean that you fell in love
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  Speaker 3: with your child because she was.
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  Speaker 2: Your child in every sense of the word.
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  Speaker 3: Well, we might have to have a conversation about that
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  Speaker 3: a little later around the dining table.
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  Speaker 5: But I've heard a.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: Couple of stories that I want to get the dirt on.
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  Speaker 3: I want to get the reality on here Kylie today
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  Speaker 3: is she just an incredible cook, But from what I understand,
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  Speaker 3: she almost sent you and Les to hospital after one
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  Speaker 3: particular meal.
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  Speaker 5: That she cooked as a team. Can you shed some
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  Speaker 5: light on that.
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  Speaker 2: Me because I don't think I very much because I
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  Speaker 2: don't like hot food. But Kylie and her and her
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  Speaker 2: very good friend decided that they would come home and
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  Speaker 2: cook dinner for us one night. And we had a
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  Speaker 2: friend of Kylie's and also a very very dear young
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  Speaker 2: man to us, Leith. He came for dinner. He was
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  Speaker 2: the special guest of the evening, and she cooked a
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  Speaker 2: Tai curry. I believe Kylie it was a green Tai curry.
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  Speaker 4: It was green Tai curry. We never had tay curry
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  Speaker 4: in our lives.
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  Speaker 2: And anyway, she cooked up this meal that absolutely smelled beautiful,
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  Speaker 2: and we're sitting at the table and Litha's eating it,
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: and he's eating it, and I swear I thought his
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: face was going to catch on Barret just it's so weird,
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: and he was just like shaking himself and he was
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  Speaker 2: just it was just the funniest thing, but not really funny.
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  Speaker 6: I think he drank two liters of water that night
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  Speaker 6: at the dinner table. He's like the veins in his
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  Speaker 6: neck were about to but unlike everyone else at the
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  Speaker 6: dinner table, at least he ate it. I was so impressed.
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  Speaker 2: So, Natasha, you didn't eat any I don't believe I did,
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  Speaker 2: because I don't like hot food anyway. But I think
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  Speaker 2: I think Carly's masta occurred because she had to extend
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  Speaker 2: the recipe, and so she added about three times. I
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  Speaker 2: don't know how much extra she edited the cup.
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  Speaker 4: We reciply tripled the recipe and on the jar it
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  Speaker 4: says for each five hundred grams of chicken you put in,
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  Speaker 4: you were to put a third of the jar. So
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  Speaker 4: I had a kilo and a half of chicken, and
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  Speaker 4: I just thought, well, a third plus a third plus
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  Speaker 4: a third, it was a whole jar. I'm good at maths.
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  Speaker 5: It seems like a lot of curry to me.
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  Speaker 4: Well, now that I eat tay curry, I think it
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  Speaker 4: is a lot of curry too. But the jar said
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  Speaker 4: to add a third, so I followed instructions.
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  Speaker 3: I love this conversation. I love listening to I love
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  Speaker 3: listening to the way that you talk about Natasha. She's
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  Speaker 3: just the most wonderful wife and mom. To me, it's
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  Speaker 3: a great tribute to you in the daughter that you raised.
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  Speaker 2: I wonder I've been a most wonderful daughter.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I think that you'd be hard pressed to find anyone
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  Speaker 3: who would disagree. Mind you, I think the sixth that
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  Speaker 3: I'm raising doing okay. I think that they're going to
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  Speaker 3: do okay. My question for you, though, is before we
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: take a quick break, for you to raise a daughter
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  Speaker 3: like that, there must have been some important things that
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  Speaker 3: you learned from your mom or maternal figures in your life.
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  Speaker 3: And with Mother's Day just around the corner, I wonder
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  Speaker 3: if there's anything that you would say about that.
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  Speaker 2: From my own mother, I wasn't raised by my mom.
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  Speaker 2: I was raised by my grandmother. But from my own mother,
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  Speaker 2: I learned my mom just had the most pure art.
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  Speaker 2: She loved unconditionally, and she was a peacemaker. My mom
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  Speaker 2: never created waves. And obviously with not being able to
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: spend time with her or we're raising us as her children,
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  Speaker 2: me and my siblings, that was a bit of a challenge.
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  Speaker 2: But the legacy that my mother left me was to
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  Speaker 2: love everybody and to be a peacemaker and yeah, just
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  Speaker 2: be a good person. From my grandmother, I learned the
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  Speaker 2: ethics of hard work, and Kylie is the epitome of hard,
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  Speaker 2: diligent work.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, I would definitely agree with that. Thanks for sharing that.
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  Speaker 3: We're going to come right back after the break, and
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  Speaker 3: Kylie's got a few questions for you as well. We'll
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  Speaker 3: do that in just a sec because, well, I think
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  Speaker 3: that we're going to get into some nitty gritty about
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: what it was like to be Kylie's mum.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: It's The Happy Family's Podcast.
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: For a happier family, try a Happy Families membership, because.
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: A happy family doesn't just happen.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Details at happy families dot com dot au.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: It's the Happy Famili's podcast, the podcast for the time
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  Speaker 4: poor parent who just wants answers now and to we
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: have a very special guest, we have my mom.
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  Speaker 5: This has been so enlightening already. Kylie.
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  Speaker 3: You've got a list of questions that you want to
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  Speaker 3: ask you, Mum and Natasha. This is the Happy Family's podcast,
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  Speaker 3: So you've got to tell the truth that you can't
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  Speaker 3: lie about this.
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  Speaker 4: So, Mum, what's your favorite memory of me growing up? Well,
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  Speaker 4: what's a quirky memory?
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  Speaker 3: All of them, I would imagine all of them are
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  Speaker 3: going to be your mum's favorite memories, and your two sisters.
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  Speaker 4: I'm sure you've got a really nice story to tell everyone.
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  Speaker 2: My favorite memory of you as a child, it's not
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  Speaker 2: a quirky and it's not even really funny, but it
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  Speaker 2: was your ability. You were just so mature beyond your years.
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  Speaker 2: You've flawed me with your ability to do things and
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  Speaker 2: to learn quickly, and you were just such a responsible charge.
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  Speaker 2: You were more serious perhaps than your sisters. But my
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: favorite memory of you is your capability and your your
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  Speaker 2: sense of responsibility. I know that's not funny, but it's
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  Speaker 2: real and it's true.
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  Speaker 3: I've got this feeling that if we ask my Mum,
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  Speaker 3: that question. She's not going to answer that way about
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  Speaker 3: me or about me. I don't think she'll say anything
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  Speaker 3: like that about me.
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  Speaker 4: Opposites attract, Honey, Yeah, I got the good stuff you did. So,
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  Speaker 4: Mammy kind of answered my second question because it was
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  Speaker 4: is there a trait that you saw in me that
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  Speaker 4: kind of was a precursor for who I am today?
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  Speaker 4: And you've you've really kind of touched on that.
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  Speaker 3: So so I'm going to jump in and ask, did
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  Speaker 3: you think that Kylie would turn out as well as
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  Speaker 3: she's turned out?
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  Speaker 2: She has turned out more than I expected she would
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  Speaker 2: turn she would turn out to be She just was
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  Speaker 2: an exceptional child in gyms of her sense of responsibility,
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  Speaker 2: her maturity, and her ability to take care of her siblings.
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  Speaker 2: Obviously I was at work and she would take care
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  Speaker 2: of her siblings, and I always knew that I could
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  Speaker 2: trust her and nothing has changed.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's so good.
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  Speaker 3: I still don't see how you ever saw anything in me, hun,
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  Speaker 3: but I'm so glad that you did.
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  Speaker 5: What else?
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  Speaker 4: Well, the next question actually relates to you. Oh no, Mum,
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  Speaker 4: why don't you tell everyone? What were your first impressions
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: of Justin? Was he good enough? For me.
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  Speaker 2: I can't answer that because hang.
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  Speaker 3: On, hang on, hang on, Hey, I don't know if
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  Speaker 3: I want you to think. I think we should just
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  Speaker 3: solve this part of the conversation right now.
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  Speaker 2: Well, if you remember, the very very first time we
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  Speaker 2: met you was when Justin came to see you at
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  Speaker 2: Uncle Kevin's house. Yes, so we didn't get to see
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  Speaker 2: much of Justin, and I think we might even have
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  Speaker 2: spoken to him outside the door. I don't even know
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  Speaker 2: that he came into the house.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, you did.
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  Speaker 3: You came out and you laid down the law about
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  Speaker 3: if you're going to take our daughter out, you need
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  Speaker 3: to make sure that you respect full and you treat
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: her well.
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: Be home by midnight.
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  Speaker 3: And if I recall, I had Kylie home at about
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  Speaker 3: two minutes to midnight, and then we sat on the
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  Speaker 3: front step for another hour and a half until one
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: day my uncle.
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  Speaker 4: Locked the door on me because we didn't come inside.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, well that was part of the first impression. The
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: other part was he was such a super confident young man.
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  Speaker 2: I was just like blowing away, very different to your
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: mother and father, and he just had a I don't
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  Speaker 2: know that it was a nervous energy, but there was
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: an energy about him. It was very easy to tell
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: that he was a person that was wanting to be moving.
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  Speaker 2: But from the conversation with him also we sensed a
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  Speaker 2: very intelligent young man.
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  Speaker 5: Well, I don't know how I did that, but I'll
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  Speaker 5: take it.
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  Speaker 3: I do remember that the first time I called you,
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: I didn't know you at all. You answered the phone, well,
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  Speaker 3: I was calling you. I was calling Kylie. But it
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: was back in the olden days where I had to
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: call a landline and you answered the phone and you said, hello,
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: this Natasha speaking. And I said, oh, Natasha, this is
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: justin Coulson, which was obviously that that confidence coming out,
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: and you were you were flawed that I wasn't calling
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: you missus Jones.
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  Speaker 5: You were like, hang on a second.
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  Speaker 3: There's there's supposed to be there's supposed to be some
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: difference here, some respect. And I believe that I didn't
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: make a good impression on that phone call.
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  Speaker 2: I believe you might be correct, but that's that's that's
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  Speaker 2: a custom, that's a cultural thing. The way that I
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: was raised was very very different, and that was I
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: think I was going to make the comment about you
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: coming from a very different world from the world that
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: I came from and the way that I raised my children,
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: so there was lots of education to come in the
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: years ahead.
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  Speaker 4: Well, Mum, what do you miss, if anything, about being
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: a mum with little ones.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: I miss having my children near me around me all
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: the time. I really missed set.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, those those morning huggies that we get from our kids.
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  Speaker 3: One day we won't get them, and I'm really sad
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  Speaker 3: about that.
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  Speaker 2: Already, we bought a king sized bed so we could
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: have morning cuddles with our children.
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  Speaker 4: I really was a water bed back then, it was
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: a bed. How many how many pins did you put
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: in that bed?
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  Speaker 2: Mum?
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  Speaker 4: Two minutes? That was back in the day when we
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: use cloth nappies and Mum would take the pin off
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: the baby's nappy and she would.
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  Speaker 6: Stab the bed so she didn't lose it and we'd
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: spring a leak.
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  Speaker 4: Really, my dad had to patch that bed up. I
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: don't know how many times.
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: I'm guessing a band aid wouldn't fix that.
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  Speaker 2: The reason I was changing the nappies and the bed
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: was because I had difficulty getting out of the bed.
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  Speaker 4: So, Mum, what do you know now that you wished
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  Speaker 4: you knew back then?
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  Speaker 2: I wished that I had known that it's okay for
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  Speaker 2: children to be children and to play and to absolutely
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: learn how to love life. I wasn't raised that way,
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  Speaker 2: and I didn't actually know how to do that.
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  Speaker 5: That's beautiful.
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  Speaker 4: I think that lesson though, in spite of the struggles
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  Speaker 4: that you had, I think that inavertently you actually helped
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  Speaker 4: me to come to that realization in our family, and
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  Speaker 4: it's been such a blessing for us. And one of
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  Speaker 4: the things that I love about I guess family life
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: and the progression is just that we actually are able
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: to take the lessons that we've learned from the previous
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: generation and be better. And you know, I know that
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: we've had conversations in the past where you just you
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: hope that your children will do better than you did,
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: and that is justin in my hope as well, that
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: our children will be better than us. And so that's
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: been such a great blessing for me to kind of
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: be able to move into that space and recognize that
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: our children need to have an opportunity to just be children.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love watching the way you and justin
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: interact with the girls and making special time for them,
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: special out and and special memories that will last beyond
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: many many things that they'll experience in their lives. It'll
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: be those cherish memories that you've created for them by
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: spending time with them.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: So an obvious question, I know what the answer will be,
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: but I want to hear you say it.
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: Are you proud of Kylie?
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  Speaker 2: I'm humbled and prefered and grateful for my beautiful daughter.
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  Speaker 4: Thanks Mum. Another tricky question, what was one of the
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: hardest things that you had to learn as a mum?
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  Speaker 2: Okay, I know this is supposed to be fun and
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: life and I'm going to try and answer that in
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: that way. But one of the hardest things for me
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: to learn as a mum was that it's okay to
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: make a mistake, it's okay to get things wrong, and
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: it's okay to learn from those mistakes and to move
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: on from that. But it was that was a lesson
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: that came quite late in life for me.
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: I love the answer that that answer, Mom, because one
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: of the things that I love about you, and the
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: thing that I think that I took away from my
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: growing up experience was watching you strive for betterment and
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: never giving up. You just you never let the challenges
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: in your life determine how you would be. You just
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: continued to battle and to fight for what you wanted,
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: and that has been a legacy that you have you
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: have passed on to me and something that I'm so
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: grateful for in my life.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: In that vein, let me ask you, Kylie. We're talking
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: to you, mum because it's Mother's Dawn on Sunday. What
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: are you most proud of when it comes to your mum?
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: My mum had a really, really challenging up bringing. She
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: had a really hard childhood, and for so many of us,
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: it can be really really easy to use that as
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: an excuse for the way we choose to live our lives.
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: But my mom never used it as an excuse, and
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: I just I was so grateful that she fought for
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: for the happy family that she always hoped that she
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: could have, and that came at huge cost and huge effort.
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: But I'm so grateful that she didn't just accept her lot,
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: but she fought for what we now have as a family.
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: It's a beautiful tribute.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: Thanks for sharing that, Hey, Natasha, It's been so good
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: of you to join us on the podcast. So grateful
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: that you took the time to share your insights and
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: share some fun stories about and what it was like
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: to be her mum.
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: Thanks for being a part of what we do.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: Thank you very much, and thanks for raising her so
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: that I could take her away from you forever.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: I love you, my daughter.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Oh I thought you were going to say you loved me,
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: but no, you've redirected straight back to Kyle.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: But I love my daughter more.
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah, favoritism all right.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: We really hope that you enjoyed the podcast today, something
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: a little bit different, an opportunity to get to know
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: Kylie's mum.
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: I think we should have her back on the podcast.
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: That was fun.
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: I think she'll be sweating.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: The nervous energy's going to keep on going. So tomorrow
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: I'm really excited. Tomorrow we're going to talk to an
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: author of a book called The Gift of Failure.
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: It's Jessica Lay.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: She's dialing in from overseas from the United States, and
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: we're going to talk to her about the Gift of Failure,
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: her book. And then on Thursday, the roles are reverse.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: We've got my mum in the lead up to Mother's saying,
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: we're going to talk to mom about.
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: What I got some dirt on you?
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: Like me, so please join us over the next couple
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: of days for what should be a couple of absolutely
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: bumper podcast episodes. Thank you so much, by the way,
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: for being a part of the podcast and for listening.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: We hope that it makes your family happier. If it does,
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: jump onto Apple Podcasts and leave a five star rating
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: and review so that other people can find out about
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: it and make their families happy. To the Happy Families
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: podcast as always produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media.
• 18:23
  Speaker 5: Our executive producer is Craig Bruce.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: If you'd like more info about how to make your
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: family happier, you can find everything you need at happy
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: families dot com dot a you