Latest / Goddess Beauty Mysteries: Henna & Ancestral Wisdom Traditions / Embracing Life After 50 Without Losing Sight of Yourself with Patty Hedrick

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Embracing Life After 50 Without Losing Sight of Yourself with Patty Hedrick · Goddess Beauty Mysteries: Henna & Ancestral Wisdom Traditions

• 0:06
  Christine Shahin: Welcome to Goddess Beauty Mysteries, the podcast exploring henna, ancestral wisdom, and plant-based beauty traditions. I'm your host, Christine Shahin, author and founder of Goddess Beauty. Together, we are bringing ancestral wisdom into the present to create a more beautiful and sustainable future. Thank you for joining me to remember the goddess beauty mysteries. Greetings, every beauty! I'm really excited to introduce you to Patty Hedrick today. She is a mature guide for us who are embracing our mature years. And Patty, please share with us the work that you do in the
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  world to help us all embrace ourselves.
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  Patty Hedrick: Thank you. My my work when I when I love is working with women around 50 plus who are kind of getting to that time where they have more time for themselves, and sometimes have been so busy taking care of others that they really haven't had time to think of what is important for them going forward, and so it's it's basically starting out with some resources to to kind of to get some ideas on what really does seem like something that they're going to maybe want to do going forward or things along those lines, and then with that, coming up with a program to try to make some of
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  those things that they feel like they really want to do to actually make it make it happen.
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  Christine Shahin: Yeah, I think that's wonderful because oftentimes we don't really know. Like you said, we've been so consumed with you know who likes sauteed onions and who doesn't, and trying to get all of those pieces right. That when it really comes down to, oh, there is a little bit of time that maybe I could consider doing something that I always enjoyed but never got to, and we don't necessarily know how to capture that to go down that road. And so, I feel like you have good news for
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  Patty Hedrick: us. Yes, I do have good news for you. There's hope.
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  Christine Shahin: There is
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  Patty Hedrick: lots of hope. I I think what what kind of really well first of all I'm a nurse. I started out working in the hospital and and worked in a nursing home, and so I've kind of worked with women and men both going through all the way. I had one person all the way up to 101 years old. Wow! And so I've really seen the whole gamut. And with her, I asked her her pearl of wisdom, and she's told me at that time that she made all her life's decisions from her deathbed. And I mean, it just took it just kind of shocked me because I had never heard that before. This was a long time ago, and
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  and but she said that it it helped her from not having regrets. She would take and she would spend some time kind of analyzing, you know, the good, the bad, the ugly, and then come up with a firm decision, and then she was able to let it go, and not have all these regrets. And you know, then on the other side, you know, I have had women who basically had the financial means. One one woman, I mean, she had plenty of of money, so money was not the issue. But her, she had always wanted to go and hot air balloon, which is really in the whole scheme of things, nothing as far as from a
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  financial standpoint. But she regretted that by the time she wasn't able to do it anymore, and she would come back to that many times. Like you know, I you know I don't understand why I it's something I always wanted to do, and I think that really kind of got me because I feel like we have to take time to kind of plan and think. You know, what is the most important to us, and what will we regret if we don't do, or what will we be. At peace with.
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  Christine Shahin: Yeah, those are really beautiful guideposts. You know, like why did I wait so long? Now I can't do the thing, and then just knowing that our time here is limited, and what are the things that are really the most important for us, and put our focus on that. And so, when somebody says, "Patty, I need some help," do you take them through a process of like figuring out those things, or you know, share with us a little bit about that.
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  Patty Hedrick: Yes, that's exactly what I do. I mean, I have a a program on embracing, and and each letter is an acronym, so it's essentially a 10 week program. But like for E for expectations, I mean things like that to kind of go through on a weekly basis to to really fine tune what what it is that they really want, what they're willing to to give up, what else they may decide that they want to pursue. You know, have people you know change careers or courses or things along those lines, or traveling. That's the one thing I hear a lot about. People keep saying, "Oh, you know, I really want to
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  travel," but they don't break down the steps to to make that happen.
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  Christine Shahin: Right,
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  Patty Hedrick: and that I think is part of why some of these dreams that they have don't get met if they don't break it down to manageable bite. I guess is what what sure
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  Christine Shahin: yeah yeah because of course we just think well travel you just buy a ticket, and maybe it's a train, or maybe it's a plane, or something. And but there's really a lot more to it to that, you know. I know years ago when my husband and I went to Trinidad, you know, we wanted to be more within the culture. We didn't want to be like in the touristy kind of things, and that's I think a big decision. And how do you navigate that when you are looking for something that's less, you know, like a tour and a scenic thing, and more of an experience of, you know, something that you're
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  going to connect with people and get to know them and develop a relationship. So, yeah, you just it's just an incremental thing. Something so simple, you know. I'll do this, do that, and yet sometimes we can't grasp that.
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  Patty Hedrick: I think that part of it too is that we're. I'm not not shouldn't speak for everyone, but I mean I I think that sometimes we're so ingrained with taking care of everyone else. You know, we truly are the sandwich generation. I mean, my mom now she's God bless her. I mean, she's in incredible shape, and and and she's you know lives alone still, and she's able to to do everything for herself. But you see the other side where we're the sandwich generation, where we're really taking care of both our parents and our children and our grandchildren, or even our great great
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  grandchildren, for that matter. Right. Plus the animals. Right.
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  Christine Shahin: Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. I had my mama live with us when she got to a place where she couldn't. I mean, she could probably do it on her own, but it was too lonesome, you know. Too, so, you know, she always had said that she wanted to, you know, not be in an institution and die at home. And she lived far away. And at one point, I said to my siblings, "I said, well, she can die in my house. She doesn't have to. It's home, and so we kidnapped her and brought her to my house, and and it was great. I just loved it. And yes, you're right. You know, we had her great
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  grandchildren being born, and she could be there, and she could participate with that. It was lovely, and I was in the middle. I was taking care of mama and taking care of grands and stuff. It's yeah, a beautiful thing and exhilarating and exhausting. And so, taking care of ourselves is really an important piece. Not letting our own desires. Kind of dissipate, and yet at the same time, I feel it's a fine line in some of the newer perspectives. It's like, well, the self comes first, and I get that. Although sometimes I feel like, well, I don't know. Maybe it's just a generational thing, you
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  know, where it's like, well, yes, it does come first, but what does that look like? You know, is it meditation? Is it, you know, taking care of those types of things so that you can do those other things, or is it where we and maybe it's not an either or. Maybe people just get to choose, and I think it's right what actually speaks to them. You know, if they need to do the thing for themselves first, then I think that that's probably right. Yeah,
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  Patty Hedrick: right. I I agree. I I think that's has to be an individual
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  Christine Shahin: right
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  Patty Hedrick: choice or or be able to to feel what they feel that they're comfortable with.
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  Christine Shahin: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Ah, wow! This is such a broad endeavor and adventure, really. And I think that having a guide like you on this path of like you know we've we've sort of done this solo for generations, right? We've seen our grandparents kind of do it, and and but it's I think in this day and age, it's nice to have a friend on the road that can say, well, you know, there are these things, and if you break it down this way, you can actually do this thing. And so we're not necessarily alone. You know, we know we're not, but sometimes it often does feel that way.
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  Patty Hedrick: And I and I really do think a lot of it has to do with with taking the time to really delve into what is important to you. So many times we get so busy and we just have surface conversations with ourselves, and not really reflecting on okay, what you know, what am I gonna be glad I did? What am I gonna regret? You know, who do I want to reach out to, or or things along those those lines, so that you have that sense of fulfillment during the different stages of your of your life going forward.
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  Christine Shahin: Yeah, I think that I will be remembering those two examples that you mentioned in the beginning. You know, it's like, oh, I waited too long. You know, how do I correct That and then you know, just living our life as if time is limited because it
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  Patty Hedrick: is, and it it truly is, and and it kind of hits you. My my husband had a heart attack, and he never had any. It just came out of the blue. He's he's fine now. Don't he's he's fine. But when you have a family member that or someone you love or has some kind of a crisis, that I think also really jolts you back into going. You know, life is. You just never know,
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  Christine Shahin: right?
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  Patty Hedrick: Every every day, yeah. You know, you just start every day and say, you know, thank you, and just be grateful to to you know to be here and to to make it the best that you can, you know.
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  Christine Shahin: And so, on in your experience, when you're, you know, taking people on their journey to help them transition from having this space and not being caring for others as intensely as they once did, do you have any like examples of what some people were able to accomplish in their later mature years?
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  Patty Hedrick: Michu Picchu,
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  Christine Shahin: right, right,
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  Patty Hedrick: yeah, and I, I think that that people are starting to realize that that there are things that they can then that they can do, and and there's there's groups that you can connect with, or or other women's groups, things like that. To really find people that that you can connect with, you know, because I think that sometimes it's difficult for women to have stayed connected, maybe with some of their older friends. I've seen that where people said, "Well, you know, I don't, I don't haven't talked to my friends from high school or whatever for so many years, and they lose all
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  these connections. And sometimes just pick up the phone out of the blue and just say, hey, I was thinking about you and just wondering how you are, and maybe reconnect with someone that was really special to you in the past.
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  Christine Shahin: Yeah, yeah. I find too that with our different devices now, you know, the texting can sometimes be helpful because you don't know what it's like to pick up the phone anymore and hit somebody at a crazy moment, you know, and then they're not able to pick up the phone. But you can always like, hey, do you have a minute? You know, I'd love to make a connection again, or you know, when's a good time? You know, that I don't know if now is a good time, and you could even be like, is now a good time? You know, but you're always being a little bit tenuous on like, oh, I don't know,
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  would I be interrupting something? And in my world, you know, with the grandkids, and we have a homestead, and then I have my business, it can be challenging. But I love the fact that I can sometimes drop a voice note to me. That's sort of like the in between world of like a phone call and a text. It's like a voice note that says, "Hey, I'm thinking about you, and when's a good time for us to connect?" You know. And for me, I have to have something. It feels ridiculous that you know somebody from high school. I have to plan a day or a time to chat, but it is a reality, and and I love the
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  fact that if we do it, it's great. Then I have the time, you know. Yeah.
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  Patty Hedrick: Well, it kind of. I just had my 50-year high school reunion. Oh,
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  Christine Shahin: wonderful!
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  Patty Hedrick: Just just what a month or two ago, and it was amazing to reconnect with people you hadn't even seen or thought about for all these years, and then all these these memories keep kept you know kind of flashing back of younger days and stuff. But it was also very shocking to see how many people had passed away. I I still think of myself as young. Yeah, I and and I it really flabbergasted me. Yeah, to think of some of these. You know, you visualize the strong, healthy, happy, and and they're gone. And and I guess that in itself too is another wake up call on, like, okay,
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  you know, yeah, get at you get in gear here and do the
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  Christine Shahin: things, do the thing, do the thing,
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  Patty Hedrick: yeah,
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  Unknown: yeah,
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  Patty Hedrick: do that you want,
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  Christine Shahin: yeah. Well, apparently you found the thing that you want. Yes, I
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  Patty Hedrick: did. I I love it. I I love the whole concept of embracing aging. I I really, I really feel there's a strong need for it, and I think that it helps women really kind of take that a little bit that time for themselves to really know what they want to do or what's important to them.
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  Christine Shahin: Yeah, that's great. Are you familiar with the the saging movement?
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  Patty Hedrick: Staging movement. Wow,
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  Christine Shahin: it's it's saging instead of aging. They call it saging.
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  Patty Hedrick: Oh,
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  Christine Shahin: isn't that fun?
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  Patty Hedrick: Yeah, that is. Yeah, check
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  Christine Shahin: it out. Check it out.
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  Patty Hedrick: We'll definitely do that. Yeah,
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  Christine Shahin: I think it'll be a great match for you. Yeah, you'll have a lot to contribute, and and ties
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  Patty Hedrick: right into that ties right into that kind of stuff. I love, but I had not. I could have to write that down. Make sure I check it out.
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  Christine Shahin: You just add an S before
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  Patty Hedrick: the A. Yeah, that's great. I love it.
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  Christine Shahin: Yeah, I figured you would. I love it too. Yeah, it's great. Well, I'm so excited that I got to meet you. When I saw your name on possible interviewees, I was like, "Oh, definitely, she's a sister, and we're all doing this journey together." And and I'm so excited to be able to have you on my podcast. And. And then we'll be doing more. I'm looking forward to doing more.
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  Patty Hedrick: Well, yes, because I have a podcast that's launching on October 27th. Oh,
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  Christine Shahin: great!
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  Patty Hedrick: Hopefully, you will come onto my podcast once I get in the
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  Christine Shahin: in the groove of it. In
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  Patty Hedrick: the groove of it, yeah,
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  Christine Shahin: Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm newly grooving into it too, so there's a little bit of learning curve for me too. So, but I've been told it all works out, and we evolve out loud. So I'm depending on that,
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  Patty Hedrick: and we're stimulating our brain too, and we're smart. Yeah, yeah. Learning new skills. Very important.
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  Christine Shahin: Yeah, exactly. Well, Patty, thank you so much for joining me today. And yes, I will be looking forward to doing more with you. Vice versa.
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  Patty Hedrick: Yes, absolutely. Thank you very much too. I really enjoyed it. Bountiful blessings to you, dear. Thank you. You too.