Latest / Becoming Financially Confident / Is Lending Money to Loved Ones Helpful or Hurting the Relationship?

Transcript

Is Lending Money to Loved Ones Helpful or Hurting the Relationship? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 0:37
  Have
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  ever
• 0:38
  gotten
• 0:38
  that
• 0:38
  text?
• 0:39
  You
• 0:40
  know
• 0:40
  the
• 0:40
  one,
• 0:41
  Can
• 0:41
  I
• 0:42
  borrow
• 0:42
  some
• 0:42
  money?
• 0:44
  And
• 0:44
  before
• 0:45
  you
• 0:45
  even
• 0:45
  think
• 0:46
  about
• 0:46
  responding,
• 0:47
  your
• 0:47
  heart's
• 0:48
  already
• 0:48
  feeling
• 0:48
  split.
• 0:50
  Yeah,
• 0:50
  you
• 0:51
  love
• 0:51
  them,
• 0:52
  and
• 0:52
  you
• 0:52
  don't
• 0:53
  want
• 0:53
  to
• 0:53
  disappoint
• 0:53
  them,
• 0:55
  but
• 0:55
  you
• 0:55
  also
• 0:56
  feel
• 0:56
  this
• 0:56
  quiet
• 0:57
  weight
• 0:57
  of
• 0:58
  what
• 0:58
  if
• 0:58
  this
• 0:58
  creates
• 0:59
  tension?
• 1:00
  What
• 1:01
  if
• 1:01
  this
• 1:01
  actually
• 1:01
  hurts
• 1:02
  our
• 1:02
  relationship?
• 1:04
  But
• 1:04
  bigger
• 1:04
  than
• 1:05
  that,
• 1:05
  what
• 1:05
  if
• 1:05
  it
• 1:05
  hurts
• 1:05
  my
• 1:06
  household
• 1:07
  friend?
• 1:08
  Money
• 1:08
  and
• 1:08
  relationships
• 1:09
  are
• 1:09
  powerful
• 1:10
  together,
• 1:12
  and
• 1:12
  when
• 1:12
  they're
• 1:13
  handled
• 1:13
  wisely,
• 1:13
  they
• 1:14
  actually
• 1:14
  strengthen
• 1:14
  trust.
• 1:16
  But
• 1:16
  handled
• 1:17
  poorly,
• 1:17
  they
• 1:18
  strain
• 1:18
  it.
• 1:20
  So
• 1:20
  today
• 1:20
  on
• 1:20
  the
• 1:20
  show,
• 1:21
  I
• 1:21
  want
• 1:21
  to
• 1:21
  talk
• 1:21
  about
• 1:21
  how
• 1:22
  to
• 1:22
  respond
• 1:22
  with
• 1:23
  love
• 1:23
  and
• 1:24
  wisdom
• 1:25
  at
• 1:25
  the
• 1:25
  same
• 1:25
  time.
• 1:47
  Hey,
• 1:47
  friend.
• 1:47
  Ralph
• 1:48
  Estep
• 1:48
  Jr.
• 1:49
  Here.
• 1:50
  Welcome
• 1:50
  to
• 1:50
  Financially
• 1:51
  Confident
• 1:51
  Christian.
• 1:53
  My
• 1:53
  goal
• 1:53
  every
• 1:53
  day
• 1:54
  is
• 1:54
  to
• 1:54
  help
• 1:54
  you
• 1:54
  break
• 1:55
  that
• 1:55
  cycle
• 1:55
  of
• 1:55
  financial
• 1:56
  shame
• 1:57
  and
• 1:57
  live
• 1:57
  in
• 1:58
  confidence.
• 1:59
  And
• 2:00
  today
• 2:00
  we're
• 2:00
  going
• 2:00
  to
• 2:00
  talk
• 2:00
  about
• 2:01
  whether
• 2:01
  lending
• 2:01
  money
• 2:02
  to
• 2:02
  loved
• 2:02
  ones
• 2:02
  helps
• 2:04
  or
• 2:04
  hurts
• 2:04
  the
• 2:04
  relationship.
• 2:06
  This
• 2:06
  is
• 2:06
  a
• 2:06
  question
• 2:07
  I
• 2:07
  get
• 2:07
  all
• 2:07
  the
• 2:07
  time.
• 2:08
  We
• 2:08
  got
• 2:08
  today's
• 2:08
  question.
• 2:08
  I
• 2:09
  want
• 2:09
  to
• 2:09
  read
• 2:09
  it
• 2:09
  right
• 2:09
  now.
• 2:11
  Question
• 2:11
  says
• 2:11
  this.
• 2:12
  Ralph,
• 2:13
  my
• 2:13
  best
• 2:13
  friend
• 2:13
  is
• 2:14
  asking
• 2:14
  me
• 2:14
  for
• 2:14
  a
• 2:15
  loan,
• 2:16
  and
• 2:17
  my
• 2:17
  heart
• 2:17
  feels
• 2:17
  split
• 2:18
  in
• 2:18
  two.
• 2:19
  I
• 2:20
  care
• 2:20
  about
• 2:20
  them,
• 2:21
  and
• 2:21
  I
• 2:21
  don't
• 2:22
  want
• 2:22
  to
• 2:22
  let
• 2:22
  them
• 2:22
  down.
• 2:23
  Yet
• 2:24
  I
• 2:24
  also
• 2:24
  feel
• 2:25
  the
• 2:25
  weight
• 2:25
  of
• 2:25
  protecting
• 2:26
  my
• 2:26
  own
• 2:26
  household.
• 2:28
  I'm
• 2:29
  caught
• 2:29
  between
• 2:29
  compassion
• 2:30
  and
• 2:30
  responsibility,
• 2:32
  and
• 2:32
  it's
• 2:32
  heavy.
• 2:34
  How
• 2:35
  do
• 2:35
  I
• 2:35
  set
• 2:35
  a
• 2:35
  boundary
• 2:36
  that's
• 2:36
  loving
• 2:37
  while
• 2:38
  still
• 2:38
  safeguarding
• 2:39
  my
• 2:39
  family's
• 2:40
  stability?
• 2:41
  Like
• 2:41
  I
• 2:42
  said,
• 2:42
  this
• 2:42
  is
• 2:42
  a
• 2:42
  question
• 2:42
  I
• 2:43
  get
• 2:43
  all
• 2:43
  the
• 2:43
  time,
• 2:44
  both
• 2:44
  through
• 2:45
  the
• 2:45
  show
• 2:45
  and
• 2:45
  in
• 2:45
  person.
• 2:47
  This
• 2:47
  is
• 2:47
  a
• 2:47
  tough
• 2:47
  situation.
• 2:49
  And
• 2:50
  the
• 2:50
  thing
• 2:50
  is,
• 2:50
  I
• 2:50
  always
• 2:51
  go
• 2:51
  to
• 2:51
  this.
• 2:51
  Protecting
• 2:52
  the
• 2:52
  relationship
• 2:53
  matters
• 2:53
  more
• 2:53
  than
• 2:54
  protecting
• 2:54
  the
• 2:54
  transaction.
• 2:56
  I
• 2:56
  think
• 2:56
  we
• 2:57
  really
• 2:57
  got
• 2:57
  to
• 2:57
  start
• 2:57
  there.
• 2:57
  We're
• 2:58
  talking
• 2:58
  about
• 2:58
  two
• 2:58
  different
• 2:58
  things.
• 2:59
  We're
• 2:59
  talking
• 2:59
  about
• 2:59
  the
• 3:00
  relationship,
• 3:01
  and
• 3:01
  we're
• 3:02
  talking
• 3:02
  about
• 3:02
  the
• 3:02
  transaction.
• 3:04
  Let's
• 3:05
  talk
• 3:05
  about
• 3:05
  how
• 3:05
  to
• 3:05
  make
• 3:05
  this
• 3:06
  work.
• 3:07
  The
• 3:07
  first
• 3:07
  thing
• 3:08
  you've
• 3:08
  got
• 3:08
  to
• 3:08
  do
• 3:08
  is
• 3:08
  you
• 3:09
  got
• 3:09
  to
• 3:09
  be
• 3:09
  honest
• 3:10
  about
• 3:10
  your
• 3:10
  capacity.
• 3:12
  Before
• 3:12
  you
• 3:13
  answer
• 3:13
  that
• 3:13
  text
• 3:14
  or
• 3:14
  that
• 3:14
  phone
• 3:14
  call
• 3:15
  or
• 3:15
  that
• 3:15
  request,
• 3:17
  ask
• 3:17
  yourself
• 3:17
  this.
• 3:19
  If
• 3:19
  this
• 3:20
  money
• 3:20
  never
• 3:20
  comes
• 3:21
  back
• 3:21
  to
• 3:21
  me,
• 3:22
  they
• 3:23
  don't
• 3:23
  pay
• 3:23
  you
• 3:23
  back,
• 3:23
  whatever
• 3:24
  that
• 3:24
  looks
• 3:24
  like
• 3:24
  for
• 3:24
  you.
• 3:25
  If
• 3:25
  this
• 3:26
  money
• 3:26
  never
• 3:26
  comes
• 3:27
  back,
• 3:28
  will
• 3:28
  my
• 3:28
  household
• 3:29
  be
• 3:29
  okay?
• 3:30
  You
• 3:31
  got
• 3:31
  to
• 3:31
  start
• 3:31
  there,
• 3:33
  because
• 3:33
  as
• 3:33
  I've
• 3:33
  said
• 3:34
  on
• 3:34
  the
• 3:34
  show
• 3:34
  before,
• 3:34
  you
• 3:35
  got
• 3:35
  to
• 3:35
  worry
• 3:35
  about
• 3:36
  your
• 3:36
  household
• 3:37
  first.
• 3:38
  If
• 3:38
  the
• 3:38
  answer
• 3:39
  is
• 3:39
  no,
• 3:40
  that's
• 3:41
  the
• 3:41
  stop
• 3:41
  sign.
• 3:41
  That's
• 3:41
  the
• 3:42
  red
• 3:42
  light
• 3:42
  moment.
• 3:43
  The
• 3:44
  net
• 3:44
  loan's
• 3:44
  too
• 3:45
  large.
• 3:46
  If
• 3:47
  you
• 3:47
  can't
• 3:48
  sustain
• 3:48
  this,
• 3:49
  you
• 3:49
  can't
• 3:49
  jeopardize
• 3:50
  your
• 3:50
  stability
• 3:51
  to
• 3:51
  preserve
• 3:52
  someone
• 3:52
  else's
• 3:53
  comfort.
• 3:54
  I
• 3:55
  know
• 3:55
  what
• 3:55
  you
• 3:55
  want
• 3:55
  to
• 3:55
  do.
• 3:55
  I
• 3:56
  feel
• 3:56
  your
• 3:56
  heart
• 3:56
  in
• 3:56
  this.
• 3:57
  But
• 3:58
  you
• 3:58
  got
• 3:58
  to
• 3:58
  worry
• 3:58
  about
• 3:58
  your
• 3:59
  Own
• 3:59
  stability
• 3:59
  first.
• 4:01
  So
• 4:01
  first
• 4:02
  thing,
• 4:02
  number
• 4:02
  one
• 4:02
  thing,
• 4:03
  can
• 4:03
  I
• 4:04
  do
• 4:04
  this?
• 4:04
  Number
• 4:04
  two
• 4:05
  thing,
• 4:06
  You've
• 4:06
  got
• 4:06
  to
• 4:06
  decide
• 4:07
  whether
• 4:07
  this
• 4:07
  is
• 4:07
  a
• 4:08
  loan
• 4:08
  or
• 4:08
  a
• 4:09
  gift.
• 4:09
  And
• 4:09
  you
• 4:10
  know
• 4:10
  how
• 4:10
  I
• 4:10
  feel
• 4:10
  about
• 4:10
  that.
• 4:10
  If
• 4:11
  you've
• 4:11
  listened
• 4:11
  to
• 4:11
  the
• 4:11
  show
• 4:11
  before,
• 4:12
  I
• 4:12
  never
• 4:12
  loan
• 4:13
  family
• 4:13
  money.
• 4:15
  That's
• 4:15
  just
• 4:15
  my
• 4:15
  thing.
• 4:15
  That's
• 4:16
  my
• 4:16
  go
• 4:16
  to
• 4:16
  thing.
• 4:16
  Because
• 4:17
  loans
• 4:17
  between
• 4:18
  loved
• 4:18
  ones
• 4:18
  create
• 4:18
  tension.
• 4:20
  I've
• 4:20
  seen
• 4:20
  it
• 4:20
  happen
• 4:21
  way
• 4:21
  too
• 4:22
  many
• 4:22
  times.
• 4:24
  So
• 4:24
  for
• 4:24
  me
• 4:25
  and
• 4:25
  for
• 4:25
  you,
• 4:25
  maybe,
• 4:25
  if
• 4:26
  you
• 4:26
  choose
• 4:26
  to
• 4:27
  help
• 4:27
  them,
• 4:27
  and
• 4:28
  this
• 4:28
  is
• 4:28
  your
• 4:28
  choice,
• 4:28
  first
• 4:29
  of
• 4:29
  all,
• 4:29
  it's
• 4:29
  your
• 4:29
  choice.
• 4:30
  Don't
• 4:30
  let
• 4:31
  anybody
• 4:31
  push
• 4:32
  you
• 4:32
  into
• 4:32
  doing
• 4:32
  it.
• 4:33
  Consider
• 4:34
  this
• 4:34
  rule.
• 4:35
  Only
• 4:36
  give
• 4:36
  what
• 4:36
  you
• 4:36
  can
• 4:36
  afford
• 4:37
  to
• 4:37
  never
• 4:38
  see
• 4:38
  again.
• 4:40
  What's
• 4:40
  that
• 4:40
  look
• 4:41
  like?
• 4:41
  That
• 4:42
  means
• 4:42
  it's
• 4:42
  a
• 4:42
  gift.
• 4:45
  And
• 4:45
  if
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  can't
• 4:46
  do
• 4:46
  that,
• 4:47
  it
• 4:47
  might
• 4:48
  be
• 4:48
  wise
• 4:48
  to
• 4:48
  just
• 4:48
  decline.
• 4:50
  You
• 4:50
  know
• 4:51
  what,
• 4:51
  I
• 4:51
  just
• 4:51
  can't
• 4:52
  do
• 4:52
  that
• 4:52
  right
• 4:52
  now.
• 4:53
  I
• 4:53
  don't
• 4:53
  lend
• 4:54
  money
• 4:54
  to
• 4:54
  family.
• 4:55
  I
• 4:55
  said
• 4:56
  to
• 4:56
  somebody,
• 4:56
  I
• 4:56
  don't
• 4:56
  feed
• 4:57
  stray
• 4:57
  cats.
• 4:58
  That's
• 4:59
  one
• 4:59
  way
• 4:59
  to
• 4:59
  look
• 4:59
  at
• 4:59
  it,
• 4:59
  right?
• 5:00
  But
• 5:01
  I
• 5:01
  think
• 5:01
  when
• 5:01
  you
• 5:01
  set
• 5:02
  those
• 5:02
  expectations
• 5:03
  at
• 5:03
  the
• 5:03
  front
• 5:04
  end,
• 5:05
  you
• 5:05
  prevent
• 5:06
  resentment.
• 5:09
  So
• 5:09
  really
• 5:09
  ask
• 5:09
  yourself,
• 5:10
  is
• 5:10
  this
• 5:10
  a
• 5:10
  loan
• 5:11
  or
• 5:11
  is
• 5:11
  this
• 5:11
  a
• 5:11
  gift?
• 5:12
  I
• 5:12
  honestly
• 5:12
  believe
• 5:12
  gifts
• 5:13
  are
• 5:13
  the
• 5:13
  best
• 5:13
  way
• 5:13
  to
• 5:14
  go.
• 5:15
  But
• 5:15
  then
• 5:15
  the
• 5:15
  next
• 5:15
  thing
• 5:15
  you
• 5:16
  got
• 5:16
  to
• 5:16
  think
• 5:16
  about
• 5:16
  is,
• 5:17
  is
• 5:17
  this
• 5:17
  a
• 5:18
  pattern?
• 5:18
  If
• 5:18
  somebody's
• 5:19
  coming
• 5:19
  to
• 5:19
  you
• 5:19
  to
• 5:20
  ask
• 5:20
  you
• 5:20
  for
• 5:20
  help,
• 5:21
  ask
• 5:21
  you
• 5:21
  for
• 5:21
  money,
• 5:22
  ask
• 5:23
  him,
• 5:23
  hey,
• 5:23
  is
• 5:23
  this
• 5:24
  a
• 5:24
  one
• 5:24
  time
• 5:24
  hardship
• 5:25
  or
• 5:26
  is
• 5:26
  this
• 5:26
  some
• 5:26
  kind
• 5:26
  of
• 5:27
  repeated
• 5:27
  behavior?
• 5:28
  You
• 5:28
  got
• 5:28
  to
• 5:29
  really
• 5:29
  understand
• 5:29
  the
• 5:29
  difference.
• 5:30
  See,
• 5:30
  helping
• 5:30
  someone
• 5:31
  through
• 5:31
  a
• 5:31
  storm.
• 5:33
  A
• 5:34
  couple
• 5:34
  days
• 5:34
  ago,
• 5:34
  I
• 5:34
  talked
• 5:35
  about
• 5:35
  the
• 5:35
  storms
• 5:35
  of
• 5:35
  life.
• 5:36
  We
• 5:37
  all
• 5:37
  go
• 5:37
  through
• 5:37
  storms.
• 5:39
  And
• 5:39
  helping
• 5:39
  someone
• 5:40
  through
• 5:40
  a
• 5:40
  storm
• 5:40
  is
• 5:40
  different
• 5:41
  than
• 5:41
  funding
• 5:41
  a
• 5:42
  lifestyle.
• 5:43
  Most
• 5:44
  of
• 5:44
  the
• 5:44
  time
• 5:44
  when
• 5:44
  somebody
• 5:45
  is
• 5:45
  asking
• 5:45
  for
• 5:45
  help,
• 5:45
  it's
• 5:46
  because
• 5:46
  they're
• 5:46
  funding
• 5:46
  a
• 5:46
  lifestyle
• 5:47
  that
• 5:47
  they
• 5:47
  can't
• 5:48
  afford.
• 5:50
  My
• 5:50
  grandfather
• 5:51
  used
• 5:51
  to
• 5:51
  say,
• 5:51
  you're
• 5:51
  living
• 5:52
  too
• 5:52
  big
• 5:52
  for
• 5:52
  your
• 5:52
  britches.
• 5:54
  A
• 5:54
  lot
• 5:54
  of
• 5:55
  times
• 5:55
  that's
• 5:55
  what
• 5:55
  we're
• 5:55
  talking
• 5:55
  about.
• 5:57
  And
• 5:58
  love,
• 5:58
  compassion
• 5:59
  doesn't
• 6:00
  mean
• 6:00
  ignoring
• 6:00
  those
• 6:01
  patterns.
• 6:03
  Sometimes
• 6:03
  the
• 6:03
  thing
• 6:03
  you
• 6:04
  can
• 6:04
  do
• 6:04
  the
• 6:04
  best
• 6:04
  is
• 6:04
  call
• 6:05
  them
• 6:05
  out
• 6:05
  on
• 6:05
  those
• 6:05
  patterns
• 6:06
  and
• 6:06
  say,
• 6:06
  wait
• 6:06
  a
• 6:06
  second,
• 6:07
  I
• 6:07
  think
• 6:07
  you
• 6:07
  got
• 6:08
  a
• 6:08
  bigger
• 6:08
  problem
• 6:08
  here.
• 6:11
  Which
• 6:11
  leads
• 6:11
  me
• 6:11
  to
• 6:11
  this.
• 6:12
  You
• 6:12
  can
• 6:12
  offer
• 6:12
  support
• 6:13
  beyond
• 6:13
  money.
• 6:15
  I
• 6:16
  did
• 6:16
  this
• 6:16
  for
• 6:16
  my
• 6:16
  own
• 6:16
  son.
• 6:17
  He's
• 6:18
  got
• 6:18
  his
• 6:18
  stuff
• 6:18
  together.
• 6:18
  Good
• 6:19
  boy,
• 6:19
  good
• 6:19
  kid.
• 6:20
  I
• 6:20
  got
• 6:20
  two
• 6:20
  sons,
• 6:20
  older
• 6:21
  one
• 6:21
  and
• 6:21
  a
• 6:21
  younger
• 6:21
  one.
• 6:21
  My
• 6:22
  younger
• 6:22
  one,
• 6:23
  he
• 6:23
  said
• 6:23
  to
• 6:24
  me
• 6:24
  one
• 6:24
  time,
• 6:24
  he
• 6:24
  said,
• 6:24
  dad,
• 6:25
  I
• 6:25
  really
• 6:25
  need
• 6:25
  to
• 6:25
  borrow
• 6:25
  some
• 6:26
  money.
• 6:27
  And
• 6:27
  I
• 6:27
  said,
• 6:27
  okay,
• 6:28
  let's
• 6:28
  do
• 6:28
  this.
• 6:28
  I'm
• 6:29
  an
• 6:29
  accountant.
• 6:29
  That's
• 6:29
  what
• 6:29
  I
• 6:29
  do
• 6:29
  for
• 6:29
  a
• 6:30
  living.
• 6:30
  I
• 6:30
  said,
• 6:30
  let's
• 6:30
  take
• 6:30
  a
• 6:31
  look
• 6:31
  at
• 6:31
  your
• 6:31
  Banking
• 6:31
  app
• 6:32
  on
• 6:32
  your
• 6:32
  phone.
• 6:33
  Wait
• 6:33
  a
• 6:33
  minute.
• 6:34
  You
• 6:34
  want
• 6:34
  to
• 6:34
  see
• 6:34
  where
• 6:34
  my
• 6:35
  money's
• 6:35
  going
• 6:35
  to?
• 6:36
  Yes.
• 6:37
  This
• 6:37
  is
• 6:37
  my
• 6:38
  superpower.
• 6:38
  This
• 6:38
  is
• 6:38
  what
• 6:39
  I
• 6:39
  do.
• 6:41
  And
• 6:41
  so
• 6:41
  sometimes
• 6:42
  the
• 6:42
  most
• 6:42
  powerful
• 6:43
  help
• 6:43
  is
• 6:43
  helping
• 6:44
  them
• 6:44
  build
• 6:44
  a
• 6:44
  plan.
• 6:46
  This
• 6:46
  is
• 6:46
  what
• 6:47
  I
• 6:47
  wanted
• 6:47
  to
• 6:47
  do
• 6:47
  for
• 6:47
  my
• 6:47
  son.
• 6:48
  Yeah,
• 6:48
  sure,
• 6:48
  I
• 6:48
  could
• 6:48
  have
• 6:48
  cut
• 6:49
  a
• 6:49
  check,
• 6:49
  could
• 6:49
  have
• 6:49
  pulled
• 6:50
  money
• 6:50
  out
• 6:50
  of
• 6:50
  my
• 6:50
  pocket
• 6:51
  and
• 6:51
  handed
• 6:51
  it
• 6:51
  to
• 6:51
  him,
• 6:52
  but
• 6:52
  am
• 6:53
  I
• 6:53
  helping
• 6:53
  him
• 6:53
  in
• 6:53
  the
• 6:53
  long
• 6:54
  term?
• 6:56
  What
• 6:56
  we
• 6:56
  did
• 6:57
  with
• 6:57
  my
• 6:57
  son
• 6:57
  is
• 6:57
  we
• 6:57
  helped
• 6:58
  him
• 6:58
  build
• 6:58
  a
• 6:58
  budget
• 6:58
  together.
• 7:00
  I
• 7:00
  connected
• 7:01
  him
• 7:01
  to
• 7:01
  resources
• 7:02
  to
• 7:02
  look
• 7:02
  at
• 7:02
  where
• 7:02
  his
• 7:02
  money's
• 7:03
  going.
• 7:05
  And
• 7:05
  then
• 7:05
  I
• 7:05
  prayed
• 7:06
  with
• 7:06
  him.
• 7:06
  He's
• 7:07
  kind
• 7:07
  of
• 7:07
  taken
• 7:07
  aback
• 7:07
  by
• 7:07
  like,
• 7:08
  wait
• 7:08
  a
• 7:08
  minute,
• 7:08
  dad,
• 7:08
  we're
• 7:08
  going
• 7:08
  to
• 7:09
  pray
• 7:09
  about
• 7:09
  it?
• 7:09
  Yeah,
• 7:09
  we're
• 7:10
  going
• 7:10
  to
• 7:10
  pray
• 7:10
  about
• 7:10
  it.
• 7:13
  Because
• 7:13
  financial
• 7:14
  rescue
• 7:14
  is
• 7:15
  not
• 7:15
  the
• 7:15
  only
• 7:15
  form
• 7:16
  of
• 7:16
  love.
• 7:16
  I
• 7:16
  think
• 7:16
  I
• 7:17
  showed
• 7:17
  my
• 7:17
  son
• 7:17
  love
• 7:19
  by
• 7:20
  sitting
• 7:20
  down
• 7:20
  with
• 7:20
  him
• 7:20
  and
• 7:21
  going
• 7:21
  over
• 7:21
  where
• 7:21
  his
• 7:22
  money's
• 7:22
  going.
• 7:22
  Now,
• 7:22
  he
• 7:22
  wasn't
• 7:23
  too
• 7:23
  happy
• 7:23
  with
• 7:23
  that
• 7:24
  because
• 7:24
  when
• 7:25
  we
• 7:25
  looked
• 7:25
  at
• 7:25
  his
• 7:25
  stuff,
• 7:26
  I
• 7:26
  saw
• 7:26
  stuff
• 7:26
  as
• 7:27
  a
• 7:27
  why
• 7:27
  are
• 7:27
  you
• 7:27
  spending
• 7:27
  money
• 7:28
  on
• 7:28
  this?
• 7:28
  He
• 7:28
  got
• 7:28
  real
• 7:29
  defensive.
• 7:30
  I
• 7:30
  said,
• 7:30
  well,
• 7:30
  here's
• 7:31
  the
• 7:31
  deal,
• 7:31
  dude.
• 7:32
  If
• 7:32
  you're
• 7:32
  going
• 7:32
  to
• 7:32
  ask
• 7:32
  me
• 7:33
  for
• 7:33
  money
• 7:33
  the
• 7:34
  next
• 7:34
  time
• 7:34
  we're
• 7:35
  going
• 7:35
  through
• 7:35
  your
• 7:35
  transactions,
• 7:37
  he
• 7:37
  hasn't
• 7:38
  asked
• 7:38
  me
• 7:38
  for
• 7:38
  money
• 7:38
  again.
• 7:41
  But
• 7:41
  I
• 7:41
  didn't
• 7:42
  just
• 7:42
  rescue
• 7:42
  him.
• 7:43
  I
• 7:44
  gave
• 7:44
  him
• 7:44
  the
• 7:44
  tools
• 7:45
  to
• 7:45
  look
• 7:45
  at
• 7:45
  this.
• 7:47
  And
• 7:48
  in
• 7:48
  the
• 7:48
  end,
• 7:48
  you
• 7:48
  might
• 7:48
  have
• 7:49
  to
• 7:49
  accept
• 7:49
  some
• 7:49
  short
• 7:50
  term
• 7:50
  discomfort
• 7:52
  for
• 7:52
  long
• 7:52
  term
• 7:53
  peace.
• 7:55
  The
• 7:55
  heart
• 7:55
  of
• 7:56
  your
• 7:56
  question
• 7:56
  today,
• 7:58
  you're
• 7:58
  feeling
• 7:58
  they
• 7:59
  might
• 7:59
  disappoint
• 7:59
  them.
• 8:00
  Guess
• 8:01
  what?
• 8:02
  They
• 8:02
  might
• 8:03
  be
• 8:03
  disappointed.
• 8:05
  They
• 8:05
  may
• 8:05
  not
• 8:06
  understand
• 8:06
  your
• 8:06
  no
• 8:07
  or
• 8:07
  your
• 8:07
  here's
• 8:08
  what
• 8:08
  other
• 8:08
  things
• 8:08
  I
• 8:09
  can
• 8:09
  do.
• 8:09
  One
• 8:10
  thing
• 8:10
  my
• 8:10
  wife
• 8:10
  and
• 8:10
  I
• 8:10
  say
• 8:11
  all
• 8:11
  the
• 8:11
  time,
• 8:11
  if
• 8:11
  somebody
• 8:12
  is
• 8:12
  really
• 8:12
  struggling,
• 8:13
  they
• 8:13
  need
• 8:14
  money,
• 8:15
  I'll
• 8:15
  go
• 8:15
  to
• 8:16
  the
• 8:16
  grocery
• 8:16
  store
• 8:16
  and
• 8:17
  buy
• 8:17
  groceries
• 8:17
  for
• 8:18
  them.
• 8:18
  That's
• 8:19
  understanding,
• 8:19
  that's
• 8:20
  showing
• 8:20
  love.
• 8:20
  And
• 8:21
  they
• 8:21
  might
• 8:21
  not
• 8:21
  understand
• 8:21
  it.
• 8:22
  They
• 8:22
  may
• 8:22
  not
• 8:22
  get
• 8:22
  it.
• 8:22
  They
• 8:22
  might
• 8:23
  be
• 8:23
  disappointed.
• 8:25
  But
• 8:25
  I'm
• 8:25
  going
• 8:25
  to
• 8:25
  tell
• 8:26
  you
• 8:26
  something.
• 8:26
  Tension
• 8:27
  from
• 8:27
  honesty
• 8:28
  is
• 8:28
  healthier
• 8:29
  than
• 8:29
  resentment
• 8:29
  from
• 8:30
  silence.
• 8:31
  There's
• 8:31
  a
• 8:31
  lot
• 8:31
  of
• 8:32
  people
• 8:32
  walking
• 8:32
  around
• 8:33
  where
• 8:33
  their
• 8:33
  boundaries
• 8:34
  were
• 8:34
  stretched
• 8:35
  and
• 8:35
  now
• 8:35
  they're
• 8:36
  resentful.
• 8:36
  And
• 8:36
  I've
• 8:36
  seen
• 8:37
  it
• 8:37
  destroy
• 8:37
  friendships.
• 8:38
  I've
• 8:38
  seen
• 8:38
  it
• 8:38
  destroy
• 8:39
  relationships.
• 8:41
  Because
• 8:41
  when
• 8:41
  you
• 8:42
  set
• 8:42
  those
• 8:42
  healthy
• 8:43
  boundaries,
• 8:44
  it
• 8:44
  protects
• 8:45
  both
• 8:45
  sides.
• 8:47
  And
• 8:47
  I
• 8:48
  just
• 8:48
  want
• 8:48
  to
• 8:48
  encourage
• 8:48
  you
• 8:48
  with
• 8:49
  this.
• 8:49
  Love
• 8:49
  is
• 8:49
  wise,
• 8:51
  but
• 8:51
  it's
• 8:51
  not
• 8:52
  reckless.
• 8:54
  So
• 8:54
  here's
• 8:54
  your
• 8:55
  win
• 8:55
  for
• 8:55
  today.
• 8:56
  And
• 8:56
  I
• 8:56
  think
• 8:56
  all
• 8:57
  of
• 8:57
  us
• 8:57
  should
• 8:57
  do
• 8:57
  this.
• 8:58
  Write
• 8:58
  your
• 8:59
  own
• 8:59
  personal
• 8:59
  rule.
• 9:01
  Now,
• 9:01
  for
• 9:01
  me,
• 9:01
  my
• 9:02
  rule
• 9:02
  looks
• 9:02
  like
• 9:02
  this.
• 9:02
  I
• 9:03
  will
• 9:03
  only
• 9:03
  lend
• 9:04
  or
• 9:04
  give
• 9:04
  what
• 9:04
  I
• 9:04
  can
• 9:04
  afford
• 9:05
  to
• 9:05
  lose.
• 9:07
  Like
• 9:07
  I
• 9:07
  said,
• 9:07
  I've
• 9:07
  been
• 9:07
  very
• 9:08
  honest.
• 9:08
  I
• 9:08
  don't
• 9:08
  lend
• 9:09
  to
• 9:09
  friends.
• 9:09
  I
• 9:10
  don't
• 9:10
  lend
• 9:10
  to
• 9:10
  family.
• 9:10
  I
• 9:10
  don't
• 9:11
  lend
• 9:11
  to
• 9:11
  anybody.
• 9:11
  Let
• 9:11
  the
• 9:11
  banks
• 9:12
  do
• 9:12
  that.
• 9:12
  Let
• 9:12
  the
• 9:12
  credit
• 9:13
  card
• 9:13
  companies
• 9:13
  do
• 9:13
  that.
• 9:15
  So
• 9:15
  I
• 9:15
  already
• 9:15
  know
• 9:15
  ahead
• 9:16
  of
• 9:16
  time
• 9:17
  I'm
• 9:17
  only
• 9:17
  going
• 9:18
  to
• 9:18
  give
• 9:19
  what
• 9:19
  I
• 9:19
  can
• 9:19
  afford
• 9:20
  to
• 9:20
  give.
• 9:22
  And
• 9:22
  that
• 9:22
  clarity
• 9:23
  will
• 9:23
  protect
• 9:23
  your
• 9:24
  peace.
• 9:24
  It'll
• 9:24
  help
• 9:24
  you
• 9:24
  make
• 9:25
  this
• 9:25
  decision.
• 9:25
  Listen,
• 9:26
  are
• 9:26
  they
• 9:26
  going
• 9:26
  to
• 9:26
  be
• 9:26
  upset
• 9:27
  with
• 9:27
  you?
• 9:27
  Maybe.
• 9:28
  Are
• 9:28
  they
• 9:28
  going
• 9:29
  to
• 9:29
  be
• 9:29
  disappointed
• 9:29
  in
• 9:29
  you?
• 9:30
  Maybe.
• 9:31
  You
• 9:32
  just
• 9:32
  got
• 9:32
  to
• 9:32
  embrace
• 9:33
  that.
• 9:33
  You
• 9:33
  got
• 9:33
  to
• 9:34
  worry
• 9:34
  about
• 9:34
  you
• 9:35
  and
• 9:35
  you
• 9:36
  got
• 9:36
  to
• 9:36
  worry
• 9:36
  about
• 9:36
  that
• 9:36
  relationship.
• 9:38
  Because
• 9:38
  trust
• 9:38
  me,
• 9:38
  if
• 9:38
  the
• 9:39
  relationship
• 9:39
  is
• 9:39
  strong,
• 9:40
  they'll
• 9:40
  get
• 9:41
  past
• 9:41
  this
• 9:42
  and
• 9:42
  he
• 9:42
  might
• 9:43
  actually
• 9:43
  appreciate
• 9:43
  it.
• 9:43
  My
• 9:44
  son
• 9:44
  appreciates
• 9:45
  my
• 9:45
  strength
• 9:45
  in
• 9:45
  our
• 9:46
  decisions.
• 9:46
  Now
• 9:46
  he
• 9:46
  says,
• 9:46
  dad,
• 9:47
  you
• 9:47
  notice
• 9:47
  I
• 9:47
  haven't
• 9:48
  asked
• 9:48
  you
• 9:48
  for
• 9:48
  money
• 9:48
  lately.
• 9:49
  I
• 9:49
  said,
• 9:49
  that's
• 9:49
  a
• 9:49
  good
• 9:50
  thing.
• 9:50
  He
• 9:50
  said
• 9:51
  to
• 9:51
  me
• 9:51
  yesterday.
• 9:51
  He
• 9:51
  said,
• 9:51
  dad,
• 9:52
  I've
• 9:52
  saved
• 9:52
  up
• 9:52
  almost
• 9:53
  $4,000
• 9:55
  now.
• 9:55
  This
• 9:55
  is
• 9:55
  a
• 9:55
  kid
• 9:55
  that
• 9:56
  couldn't
• 9:56
  save
• 9:56
  money
• 9:57
  to
• 9:57
  save
• 9:57
  himself.
• 9:59
  I
• 9:59
  was
• 9:59
  so
• 9:59
  proud
• 10:00
  of
• 10:00
  him
• 10:00
  yesterday
• 10:00
  when
• 10:01
  he
• 10:01
  told
• 10:01
  me
• 10:01
  that.
• 10:02
  Let's
• 10:02
  get
• 10:02
  into
• 10:03
  today's
• 10:03
  Bible
• 10:03
  verse
• 10:04
  comes
• 10:05
  to
• 10:05
  us
• 10:05
  from
• 10:05
  2nd
• 10:06
  Corinthians,
• 10:07
  chapter
• 10:07
  8,
• 10:07
  verse
• 10:08
  12.
• 10:08
  Again,
• 10:09
  2nd
• 10:09
  Corinthians,
• 10:10
  8:12.
• 10:12
  For
• 10:12
  if
• 10:12
  the
• 10:12
  willingness
• 10:13
  is
• 10:13
  there,
• 10:14
  the
• 10:15
  gift
• 10:15
  is
• 10:15
  acceptable
• 10:16
  according
• 10:16
  to
• 10:17
  what
• 10:17
  one
• 10:18
  has,
• 10:19
  not
• 10:19
  according
• 10:20
  to
• 10:20
  what
• 10:20
  one
• 10:21
  does
• 10:21
  not
• 10:21
  have.
• 10:24
  A
• 10:24
  really
• 10:25
  practical
• 10:25
  piece
• 10:25
  of
• 10:25
  scripture
• 10:26
  here
• 10:28
  because
• 10:28
  God's
• 10:28
  measuring
• 10:29
  generosity
• 10:30
  by
• 10:30
  willingness
• 10:30
  and
• 10:31
  capacity,
• 10:33
  not
• 10:33
  by
• 10:33
  sacrifice.
• 10:34
  That
• 10:34
  creates
• 10:34
  instability.
• 10:37
  So
• 10:37
  lean
• 10:37
  into
• 10:37
  that
• 10:37
  today
• 10:38
  not
• 10:39
  by
• 10:39
  sacrifice,
• 10:41
  but
• 10:41
  by
• 10:42
  generosity
• 10:42
  and
• 10:43
  willingness
• 10:43
  and
• 10:43
  capacity.
• 10:45
  How
• 10:45
  about
• 10:45
  we
• 10:45
  pray
• 10:46
  together,
• 10:48
  Lord,
• 10:49
  you
• 10:49
  see
• 10:50
  how
• 10:50
  heavy
• 10:50
  this
• 10:50
  feels.
• 10:52
  You
• 10:52
  feel
• 10:52
  the
• 10:52
  weight
• 10:53
  of
• 10:53
  these
• 10:53
  decisions
• 10:54
  on
• 10:54
  hearts
• 10:54
  and
• 10:54
  minds.
• 10:56
  So
• 10:56
  right
• 10:56
  now
• 10:57
  I
• 10:57
  ask
• 10:57
  that
• 10:57
  you
• 10:57
  would
• 10:57
  give
• 10:58
  this
• 10:58
  person
• 10:58
  wisdom.
• 10:59
  Give
• 11:00
  them
• 11:00
  courage
• 11:01
  and
• 11:02
  Lord,
• 11:02
  help
• 11:02
  them
• 11:02
  to
• 11:02
  find
• 11:03
  peace
• 11:03
  in
• 11:03
  their
• 11:03
  decision,
• 11:04
  whatever
• 11:04
  that
• 11:04
  is
• 11:04
  for
• 11:04
  them.
• 11:06
  Protect
• 11:07
  their
• 11:07
  household.
• 11:08
  Protect
• 11:09
  that
• 11:09
  relationship,
• 11:10
  Lord,
• 11:11
  and
• 11:11
  truly
• 11:12
  guide
• 11:12
  us
• 11:12
  all
• 11:12
  towards
• 11:13
  generosity
• 11:14
  that
• 11:14
  reflects
• 11:14
  both
• 11:14
  love
• 11:15
  and
• 11:15
  wisdom.
• 11:17
  Help
• 11:17
  us
• 11:17
  to
• 11:18
  live
• 11:18
  where
• 11:18
  a
• 11:18
  place
• 11:18
  where
• 11:19
  compassion
• 11:20
  and
• 11:20
  responsibility
• 11:21
  walk
• 11:21
  together
• 11:22
  in
• 11:22
  tandem.
• 11:24
  And
• 11:24
  we
• 11:24
  ask
• 11:24
  this
• 11:24
  in
• 11:25
  Jesus
• 11:25
  name,
• 11:27
  Amen.
• 11:29
  Friend,
• 11:29
  let
• 11:29
  me
• 11:29
  tell
• 11:30
  you
• 11:30
  this.
• 11:31
  You
• 11:31
  can
• 11:31
  love
• 11:32
  deeply
• 11:32
  without
• 11:32
  endangering
• 11:33
  your
• 11:33
  own
• 11:33
  stability.
• 11:35
  And
• 11:36
  if
• 11:36
  you're
• 11:36
  not
• 11:36
  sure
• 11:36
  what
• 11:37
  the
• 11:37
  right
• 11:37
  move
• 11:37
  is
• 11:37
  when
• 11:38
  money
• 11:38
  and
• 11:38
  relationships
• 11:39
  collide,
• 11:39
  I'd
• 11:40
  love
• 11:40
  to
• 11:40
  hear
• 11:40
  from
• 11:40
  you.
• 11:42
  You
• 11:42
  can
• 11:42
  record
• 11:43
  a
• 11:43
  voicemail
• 11:44
  message
• 11:44
  for
• 11:44
  me
• 11:44
  by
• 11:45
  going
• 11:45
  to
• 11:45
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com
• 11:48
  voicemail
• 11:49
  we'll
• 11:49
  talk
• 11:49
  through
• 11:49
  it
• 11:50
  together.
• 11:50
  I'd
• 11:50
  love
• 11:50
  to
• 11:51
  hear
• 11:51
  your
• 11:51
  voice.
• 11:51
  I
• 11:52
  get
• 11:52
  some
• 11:52
  messages
• 11:53
  and
• 11:53
  we
• 11:53
  got
• 11:54
  a
• 11:54
  voice
• 11:54
  the
• 11:54
  other
• 11:54
  day
• 11:54
  and
• 11:55
  put
• 11:55
  that
• 11:55
  on
• 11:55
  the
• 11:55
  show
• 11:56
  and
• 11:56
  you
• 11:56
  might
• 11:56
  be
• 11:56
  the
• 11:57
  next
• 11:57
  voice
• 11:57
  on
• 11:57
  the
• 11:57
  show.
• 11:58
  So
• 11:58
  again,
• 11:58
  we'll
• 11:58
  put
• 11:59
  this
• 11:59
  in
• 11:59
  the
• 11:59
  show
• 11:59
  notes.
• 12:00
  Click
• 12:00
  on
• 12:00
  the
• 12:00
  link
• 12:01
  and
• 12:01
  just
• 12:01
  talk
• 12:02
  to
• 12:02
  me
• 12:02
  like
• 12:02
  you're
• 12:02
  talking
• 12:02
  to
• 12:03
  a
• 12:03
  friend.
• 12:04
  Financiallyconfidentchristian.com/voicemail
• 12:09
  and
• 12:09
  I
• 12:09
  just
• 12:09
  want
• 12:09
  to
• 12:10
  thank
• 12:10
  you
• 12:10
  so
• 12:10
  much
• 12:10
  for
• 12:10
  joining
• 12:11
  me
• 12:11
  today.
• 12:11
  A
• 12:12
  tough
• 12:12
  topic
• 12:12
  today.
• 12:12
  It's
• 12:13
  hard
• 12:13
  when
• 12:13
  you
• 12:14
  feel
• 12:14
  torn
• 12:14
  with
• 12:15
  your
• 12:15
  heart,
• 12:16
  but
• 12:16
  I
• 12:16
  want
• 12:16
  to
• 12:16
  encourage
• 12:17
  you.
• 12:17
  Stay
• 12:17
  financially
• 12:18
  savvy.
• 12:18
  May
• 12:18
  God
• 12:19
  bless
• 12:19
  you
• 12:19
  and
• 12:20
  you
• 12:20
  have
• 12:20
  a
• 12:20
  truly
• 12:21
  great
• 12:21
  day.