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Andy Stanley - How Not To Be Your Own Worst Enemy, Part 1 Pay Attention! · Andy Stanley Sermons

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: So here's a question for you. Have you ever been
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: your own worst enemy? Have you ever been your own
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: worst enemy?
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: And the answer is.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, you have been your own worst enemy. Maybe not
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: some big macro, big area or some big decision that
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: kind of undermined your whole future. But at some point
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: in all of our lives, we have been our own
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: worst enemy. I was trying to think of a time
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: to tell you about and be vulnerable and all of
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  Speaker 1: the ones were my own worst enemy.
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  Speaker 2: I'm too embarrassed, but I did think of one big one.
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  Speaker 1: I was my own worst enemy my first semester in
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: college when I found out at the end of that
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  Speaker 1: first semester, I was on academic warning.
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  Speaker 2: And then I was my own worst enemy.
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  Speaker 1: My second semester, we had semester, I was on the
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  Speaker 1: semester system when I found out I was on academic probation.
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  Speaker 2: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: And you, and in school, you really have no one
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  Speaker 1: else to blame, right? It's just you, you and you, your,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: your own worst enemy. And the thing that makes this
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  Speaker 1: so memorable is not that part. It's the next part.
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  Speaker 2: We lived in Tucker.
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  Speaker 1: And I remember that specifically, my mom said she wanted
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: to talk to me about college. So I was living
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: at home, going to Georgia State. And so she sits
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  Speaker 1: me down at the kitchen table. You know, there's just
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  Speaker 1: certain memories that are etched in your mind. You can
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  Speaker 1: see the colors on the wall. And this is one
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  Speaker 1: of those moments. She sat me down and I thought
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  Speaker 1: she was gonna give me the pep talk. Like, Andy,
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  Speaker 1: you can do anything you set your mind to. And
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  Speaker 1: if you believe you can achieve and you can do
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  Speaker 1: all things through, I don't know what she was gonna say,
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  Speaker 1: but I'm ready for the, Andy, you need to buckle down.
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  Speaker 1: And here's what she said. And I quote, Andy, college
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  Speaker 1: is not for everyone. That is a direct quote. Andy,
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  Speaker 1: college is not for everyone. And I realized even my
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  Speaker 1: own mom didn't really think I had what it took
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  Speaker 1: to get through college. And I went from becoming my
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  Speaker 1: own worst enemy to becoming my own best friend. Because
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  Speaker 1: it scared me so much. Now, all of us have
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  Speaker 1: kind of interesting kind of look back and laugh stories.
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  Speaker 1: But have you ever seen anyone who like did this
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  Speaker 1: up like did this up big? I mean, they became
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  Speaker 1: their own worst enemy with their career or in their
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  Speaker 1: marriage or with their finances or a relationship with one
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  Speaker 1: of their children. And you stand back and you see
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  Speaker 1: it happening. You see it happening kind of unrolling and unraveling.
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  Speaker 1: And you're thinking, you're doing this to yourself, right? And
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  Speaker 1: when you watch that, you kind of think the same
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  Speaker 1: thing I think. You think, well, you know what? They
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  Speaker 1: may undermine their own marriage. They may undermine their own career.
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  Speaker 1: They may undermine their own world, their own finances, or
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  Speaker 1: their relationship with their kids. But I mean, I may
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  Speaker 1: have some interesting kind of laugh about it later stories
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  Speaker 1: about becoming my own worst enemy. But I would never
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  Speaker 1: do anything like that, right? But here's the thing that's
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  Speaker 1: true of all of us, and I'm talking to me
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  Speaker 1: as well as you. We all have the potential. I
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  Speaker 1: don't even know you, but this is what I know
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  Speaker 1: about you. Every single one of us has the potential
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  Speaker 1: to become our own worst enemy, right? And the reason
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  Speaker 1: I know that is because you, and this is all
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  Speaker 1: of us, but I'm picking on you for a second,
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  Speaker 1: you have participated in all of your bad decisions, right?
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  Speaker 1: You have participated in 100 of your bad decisions. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: you were, I'm picking on you a little bit, and
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  Speaker 1: saying the truth, me too, that we were the masterminds
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  Speaker 1: behind our own bad decisions. And here's why this is
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  Speaker 1: a big deal. Because a single bad decision I mean,
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  Speaker 1: you know this. A single bad decision is always the
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  Speaker 1: first step toward becoming your own worst enemy, right? It's
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  Speaker 1: not like it happens all at one time. It just
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  Speaker 1: unravels over time. And the people that you've watched become
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  Speaker 1: their own worst enemy in a big way. It started
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  Speaker 1: with small things. It started with one simple, single decision, right?
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  Speaker 1: Because every habit, every habit begins with the first time.
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  Speaker 1: And every pattern begins with the first line. And every
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  Speaker 1: journey begins with a first step. So we all have
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  Speaker 1: the potential to become our own worst enemy if we're
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  Speaker 1: not careful. So what we're gonna do is in this series,
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  Speaker 1: I wanna give you three things I want to give
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  Speaker 1: you three things you can begin doing today that will
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  Speaker 1: help ensure that you don't become your own worst enemy
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  Speaker 1: in a way that you aren't able to look back
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  Speaker 1: and laugh at it in the big ways, the ways
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  Speaker 1: that really wreck and ruin and cause whole seasons of
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  Speaker 1: our lives to be wasted and we look back and
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  Speaker 1: wish we could go back and do our 20s over,
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  Speaker 1: our 30s over, 40s or 50s or do.
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  Speaker 2: A first marriage over, do a first career. over three things.
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  Speaker 1: Now, the interesting thing is Jesus doesn't use this terminology.
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  Speaker 1: Jesus doesn't talk about don't become your own worst enemy.
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  Speaker 1: But in his teaching, he's very, very clear.
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  Speaker 2: In fact, in one of his most famous parables, he
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  Speaker 2: says this.
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  Speaker 1: He says, anyone who hears these words of mine You
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  Speaker 1: may remember this from childhood.
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  Speaker 2: He didn't use that terminology. Here's how he said it.
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  Speaker 1: Uh-oh.
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  Speaker 2: Who builds his own house, good job, on the sand.
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  Speaker 1: And when the storm came, he recognized he has no
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  Speaker 1: one but himself to blame because of the poor foundation
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  Speaker 1: of his home. So this is a principle. This potentially
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  Speaker 1: impacts all of us. And Jesus went right to the
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  Speaker 1: heart of it. So in this series, what I wanna
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  Speaker 1: do is I wanna suggest three habits, three habits that
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  Speaker 1: really serve as preemptive habits to ensure that you don't
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  Speaker 1: become and I don't become and the people we love
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  Speaker 1: don't become our own worst enemy. So today I'm gonna
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  Speaker 1: give you the first habit and then in the next
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  Speaker 1: two weeks, we're gonna talk about habit number two and
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  Speaker 1: habit number three. The first thing, the first thing that
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  Speaker 1: we must all do to ensure that we don't become
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  Speaker 1: our own worst enemy is pay attention to the tension.
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  Speaker 1: Pay attention to the tension. Even if you are sitting
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  Speaker 1: alone at home in your living room, I would like
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  Speaker 1: all of us to say this together.
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  Speaker 2: Ready? Pay attention to the tension.
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  Speaker 1: What is the first thing you need to do to
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  Speaker 1: ensure that you don't become your own worst enemy together?
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  Speaker 2: Pay attention. That's right.
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  Speaker 1: Whenever you're considering any option Any invitation, anything that comes
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  Speaker 1: your way, any choice that you're about to make, and
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  Speaker 1: it causes, if the option you're considering causes any sense
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  Speaker 1: of hesitation, a little bit of tension, a little bit
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  Speaker 1: of pause, it in any kind of way dings your conscience.
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  Speaker 1: Stop and pay attention to that tension. Don't start selling yourself.
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  Speaker 2: Start listening. Don't sell yourself. Start listening. Because here's what happens,
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  Speaker 2: and we know this.
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  Speaker 1: As soon as you see something you want, as soon
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  Speaker 1: as you get invited to something you're interested in, as
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  Speaker 1: soon as there's an option that kind of inflames an appetite,
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  Speaker 1: as soon as you see someone that you want, what
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  Speaker 1: do you do? You do the same thing I do.
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  Speaker 1: You start selling yourself. You start selling yourself on this idea.
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  Speaker 1: And what's interesting is, We lie to ourselves, and then
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  Speaker 1: we believe our own lies. I think only human beings
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  Speaker 1: are capable of this. We make up things and then
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  Speaker 1: choose to believe the things that we made up.
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  Speaker 2: And here's how I know that's true. You have to
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  Speaker 2: be a little creative, okay?
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  Speaker 1: If a salesperson used the same pitch on you that
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  Speaker 1: you use on yourself, If a salesperson in an actual
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  Speaker 1: retail environment used the same pitch on sales pitch on
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  Speaker 1: you that you use on yourself, you would be so offended.
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  Speaker 1: You would walk out of that establishment. Right. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: imagine if somebody you're standing there to negotiate or you're
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  Speaker 1: thinking about purchasing something.
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  Speaker 2: They said something like this.
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  Speaker 1: Hey, if you get home and decide you don't like it,
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  Speaker 1: just donate it. But how many times does that run
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  Speaker 1: through your mind as you're about to buy something online?
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  Speaker 1: But if somebody actually said this to you, you'd be like,
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  Speaker 1: do what?
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  Speaker 2: How about this?
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  Speaker 1: Hey, I see that you already have one that does
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  Speaker 1: everything this one does, but this one is newer.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, you would look at the person like, that's
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  Speaker 2: your pitch? I mean, that's it? But that's the kind
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  Speaker 2: of stuff we tell ourselves all the time, right? How
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  Speaker 2: about this? Yes, sirree.
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  Speaker 1: It is wrong, wrong, wrong. So just don't tell anyone. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: now we're going to dig a little deeper you ready
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  Speaker 1: sure your husband would be hurt and offended if he
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  Speaker 1: found out but your husband isn't bright enough to find out.
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  Speaker 2: I mean how offended.
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  Speaker 1: Would you be ladies if somebody said that about your
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  Speaker 1: husband but what do you tell yourself when you start
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  Speaker 1: trying to sell yourself on a bad idea Well, he, right? Okay, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: we're going to go both sides of this. Yes, your
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  Speaker 1: girlfriend sure would be devastated, but let's face it, she's
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  Speaker 1: not nearly as attractive.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, if.
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  Speaker 1: Somebody actually said something bad about your girlfriend, you would
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  Speaker 1: be so offended. But listen to the self-talk. Listen to
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  Speaker 1: the narrative you create. We're going to talk a lot
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  Speaker 1: about the narratives next time. If someone's actually said to
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  Speaker 1: us the things that we say to ourselves to sell
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  Speaker 1: ourselves on a bad idea that sets us up to
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  Speaker 1: become our own worst enemy, we would be.
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  Speaker 2: So extraordinarily offended.
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  Speaker 1: This is why you can't afford and I can't afford
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  Speaker 1: to start selling ourselves. Instead, we need to pay attention
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  Speaker 1: to the tension. The moment, I mean, this is the
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  Speaker 1: habit right here. The moment you start selling yourself, hit pause.
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  Speaker 1: The moment you hear, I mean, because we do this
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  Speaker 1: every day, we do this all the time. The moment
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  Speaker 1: you start creating an internal narrative as to why something
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  Speaker 1: is okay or something's justifiable or something's permissible, in that moment,
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  Speaker 1: we should just hit pause and say, wait a minute,
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  Speaker 1: I'm doing it. I'm doing that thing. I am making
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  Speaker 1: things up and choosing to believe them in order to
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  Speaker 1: do something that something in me is telling me maybe
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  Speaker 1: I should hit pause. Pause, because remember this, if you
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  Speaker 1: don't hear anything else I say today, this is it.
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  Speaker 2: Remember, we rarely, we rarely, we rarely have to sell
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  Speaker 2: ourselves on a good idea, right?
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  Speaker 1: You rarely have to talk yourself into knowing when something
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  Speaker 1: is the right thing, the wise thing, the prudent thing
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  Speaker 1: to do. Now, there is a fascinating piece of narrative
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  Speaker 1: in the Hebrew Bible that us Christians call the Old Testament,
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  Speaker 1: but it started off as the Hebrew Bible or the
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  Speaker 1: Jewish scripture. There's this fascinating piece of narrative. If you
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  Speaker 1: grew up in church, surely you have heard this before.
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  Speaker 2: At some point.
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  Speaker 1: If not, then you're in for a treat because this
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  Speaker 1: is one of the most interesting detail-ridden stories in the
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  Speaker 1: entire Old Testament. And it illustrates, but better than illustrate,
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  Speaker 1: this story actually illuminates or brings insight into this whole
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  Speaker 1: idea of paying attention to the tension. The story revolves
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  Speaker 1: around King David, who was Israel's second king. But the
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  Speaker 1: story actually takes place before.
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  Speaker 2: He became king.
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  Speaker 1: Now, if you know anything about the Hebrew Bible or
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  Speaker 1: the history of the Jews, David, who became Israel's second king,
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  Speaker 1: stepped onto the pages of history as a shepherd boy.
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  Speaker 1: And then he was throwing, suddenly he stepped into the
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  Speaker 1: spotlight when he killed Goliath, the.
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  Speaker 2: Story of David and Goliath.
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  Speaker 1: And he became legendary kind of almost overnight because he
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  Speaker 1: was this young man who faced this giant, you know,
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  Speaker 1: this Philistine who was taunting the armies of Israel.
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  Speaker 2: And he thought, well, you're not taunting the armies of Israel.
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  Speaker 1: You're taunting the armies of God and God's just looking
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  Speaker 1: for a volunteer and I volunteer.
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  Speaker 2: And boom, suddenly he's famous.
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  Speaker 1: Well, King Saul, who was the king at the time,
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  Speaker 1: Israel's first king, of course brings him close because he's
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  Speaker 1: become a legend and he gives him prominence with the military.
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  Speaker 1: He eventually marries him off to one of his daughters.
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  Speaker 1: So now the king is his father-in-law, But then as
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  Speaker 1: time goes by, David becomes so popular, Saul realizes that
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  Speaker 1: David is a threat to his dynasty because people are
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  Speaker 1: going to want him to be the next king. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: the rumor was at that time that David had already
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  Speaker 1: been anointed as the next king.
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  Speaker 2: Of Israel as a little boy because, in fact, he had.
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  Speaker 1: So suddenly Saul's not so... fond of David, even though
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  Speaker 1: he's married him off to his daughter. In fact, when
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  Speaker 1: you read the story, it's so interesting. Saul decides to
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  Speaker 1: use his daughter to manipulate David. And then Saul decides
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  Speaker 1: to kill David. Then Saul says, no, I'm not going
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  Speaker 1: to kill him. I'm going to keep sending him out
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  Speaker 1: to fight the Philistines. And eventually the odds are going
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  Speaker 1: to be such that the Philistines will take care of David, but.
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  Speaker 2: We've got to get rid of David.
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  Speaker 1: Well, none of Saul's tactics work and David becomes more
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  Speaker 1: and more and more popular. So then one afternoon he
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  Speaker 1: loses his temper and he tries to kill David and
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  Speaker 1: David flees. He flees, he has to leave the city.
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  Speaker 1: He can't go home because it would put his family
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  Speaker 1: in danger. So he flees, he makes several really, really
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  Speaker 1: bad decisions and he becomes an outlaw. And as a
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  Speaker 1: result of him being so famous, all the other fugitives
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  Speaker 1: in the land around that region of the world who
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  Speaker 1: were related to the Jewish people at the time, they
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  Speaker 1: weren't called Jewish people at the time, but the Hebrews
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  Speaker 1: at the time, they all started following David. And the
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  Speaker 1: next thing you know, he's got his own band of
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  Speaker 1: merry men. And eventually it becomes like a small army,
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  Speaker 1: but it's a small army without a home because they're
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  Speaker 1: all outlaws.
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  Speaker 2: It's a small army of men who can't go home,
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  Speaker 2: but they rally around David and they see David as faithful.
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  Speaker 2: his leader.
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  Speaker 1: Well, meanwhile, Saul is busy running the kingdom, but he's
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  Speaker 1: always on the lookout for David and he has spies
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  Speaker 1: everywhere looking for David because he needs to eliminate David
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  Speaker 1: before he dies so that his son Jonathan can become
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  Speaker 1: the next king rather than David becoming the next king
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  Speaker 1: of Israel. And one afternoon, he gets a report that
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  Speaker 1: David and his merry men have been spotted in the
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  Speaker 1: desert or the region of En Gedi. And if you've
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  Speaker 1: ever been to the Holy Land or if you've ever
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: been to.
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  Speaker 2: Jerusalem, you can actually... visit this area of the world.
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  Speaker 1: It's just along the Dead Sea, and it looks exactly
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  Speaker 1: like this. It is just barren wasteland with a few
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  Speaker 1: oases sprinkled here and there. It is full of caves
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  Speaker 1: and mountains, and again, it borders. You can see this
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  Speaker 1: next picture kind of borders on the Dead Sea. So
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  Speaker 1: this is the region that Saul hears that David and
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  Speaker 1: his men are. So the text says that Saul took 3,000,
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  Speaker 1: which was way more men than he needed to fight David.
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  Speaker 1: But again, David is a valiant warrior. He's famous for
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  Speaker 1: his ability to fight out in the open. So he
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  Speaker 1: takes 3,000 able young men from all of Israel and
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  Speaker 1: he sets out to look for David and his men.
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  Speaker 1: So they're gone for several days and eventually they come
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  Speaker 1: to an area that we're not sure exactly where it is,
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  Speaker 1: but when this was originally written, the people who originally
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  Speaker 1: read it knew exactly what the author meant.
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  Speaker 2: He came to the sheep pens and there was a
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  Speaker 2: cave there. And actually when you go to this region
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  Speaker 2: of Israel, there are caves everywhere.
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  Speaker 1: There was a cave there and Saul went in to
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  Speaker 1: relieve himself. Fun fact, maybe. I think this is the
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: only reference to going to the bathroom in the whole Bible,
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  Speaker 1: but I could be wrong about that, okay? I don't
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  Speaker 1: know what everybody else did, but at least Saul, we know,
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  Speaker 1: had to relieve himself. And this is a strategic part
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  Speaker 1: of the story, and it's why the author included it.
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  Speaker 2: So here's the picture.
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  Speaker 1: 3,000 men, that's a lot of people, the long caravan,
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  Speaker 1: with some camp followers, with wagons, with food. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: this is a big ordeal. Saul is a little bit
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  Speaker 1: back from the front. Saul has to go to the bathroom. Now,
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  Speaker 1: if you're just a regular guy in the army and
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  Speaker 1: you have to go to the bathroom, you deal with it.
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  Speaker 1: But when you're the king, you can stop the whole caravan,
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  Speaker 1: get off your mule, he rode a mule, and he
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  Speaker 1: makes his way up to this cave by himself to
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  Speaker 1: use the bathroom while everybody else waited. And if you've
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: heard this story before, here's where it takes the most
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  Speaker 1: interesting twist.
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  Speaker 2: David.
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  Speaker 1: and his men were actually in the very cave that
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: King Saul chose to stop and use his private bathroom.
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  Speaker 1: And they're far back in the cave. Now, what are
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: the odds of that? I mean, there aren't even any odds, right?
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  Speaker 1: I mean, talk about the stars lining up, talking about
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  Speaker 1: God smiling on you or the gods smiling on you.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, this is a best case scenario. This was
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  Speaker 1: an answer, as we're gonna see in just a minute,
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  Speaker 1: this was an answer to David's prayer. So the context,
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  Speaker 1: a little bit of what must have happened is Saul
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  Speaker 1: had his spies out looking for David and David had
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: his spies out making sure that Saul wasn't anywhere close.
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  Speaker 1: And when David's spies found out that Saul was not
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  Speaker 1: too far behind him, David said to his men, scatter,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: hide in the hills. We'll wait for Saul and his
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: men to go through. We will reconvene and go the
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: other way. But it just so happened when King Saul
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: and his caravan got right into the area where David
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: and his men had dispersed to hide, that's when he
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: had to go to the bathroom and he happened.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: To choose the very cave that David wanted. was hiding in. Now,
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: get the picture. David's eyes have adjusted. He's been in
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: the cave. Saul walks in.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: He can't see a thing, and he walks just far
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: enough in to do his business, but when he walks
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: into the cave, he is just a silhouette, and David
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: and his men are in the back of the cave,
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: and they look at each other, and they cannot believe this.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, what's running through his mind?
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you had been an outlaw for months,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: we don't even know how much time David had been
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: an outlaw at this time and just living out in
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: the hills.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: What's going through your mind? Clearly. I mean, you don't even,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: this isn't a prayer. This is, you just know.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: God had clearly delivered David's enemy, I mean literally, into
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: his hands. David had already been anointed king. Everybody knows
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: he's the next guy. The only thing standing in the
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: way of David becoming the next king is Saul.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: And here he is.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: And if we don't think that's what was running through
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: David's mind, we know that's what was running through David's
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: men's mind because the text says this is what his
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: men whispered to him far back in the cave.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: The men said to David.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: This is the day the Lord spoke of when he
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: said to you, I will give your enemy into your
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: hand for you to deal with them as you wish.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: This is what David had told his men over and
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: over and over. As they sat around the campfire at night,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: he would say to them.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: Look, guys, just a little bit longer, just a little
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: bit longer. Stay with me just a little bit longer. Eventually,
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: I'll be the king.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: And when I become the king, I'm going to reward
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: those of you who were most loyal to me during
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: the mean times and the lean times and these difficult times.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: So they're looking at David saying, you're right. This is
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: exactly what you promised. This is exactly what you told
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: us would happen. But we could not imagine it would
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: happen like this. This is the very thing God promised you.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: And now the waiting is over. Kill the king and
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: let's go home. And the optics on this would have
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: been amazing. So now let's imagine we're outside the cave, right?
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: We're lined up, bored and yawning and waiting for the
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: king to come out. We keep glancing over at the cave.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: King Saul went in.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: David steps out.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: With King Saul's head in his hand. And everybody in
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: that caravan would immediately recognize David as the king of Israel.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: No civil war, very little bloodshed, lives spared. So can
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: you imagine the adrenaline? Can you imagine the emotion in
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: the cave? Can you imagine the pressure David felt to
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: do something about this so he and his men could
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: finally go home? Besides, this had to be God's will.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, this can't be a coincidence. It had to
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: be God's will because God had already declared that David
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: was going to be the next king. The pressure he
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: felt to act, we can't even imagine it. But the
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: text tells us, and as the story unfolds, David felt.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Something else as well. There was a tension. There was
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: a hesitation.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: There was a tension that didn't make any sense in
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: light of the circumstances. There was a hesitation that didn't
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: make any sense in light of the flow of the
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: story and the flow of his life. This tension made
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: absolutely no sense and so he ignored it. And he
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: did what any of us would probably have done if
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: we had the opportunity. The text says that David took
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: out his knife and he slowly crept up unnoticed behind
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: King Saul. But as he gets closer and closer and closer,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: that tension intensifies and intensifies and intensifies. And somehow, some way,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: he was able to stop and pay close attention to
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: the tension. And suddenly, and some of you have experienced this.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I want all of us to experience this eventually. Suddenly,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: somewhere between the back of that cave and King Saul's back,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: suddenly his decision to kill and to murder King Saul
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: was completely reframed. Suddenly the hesitation that made no sense
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: made perfect sense.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Wait, wait, what am I doing? I'm about to murder
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: the king. Wait a minute. Wait, wait.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: I can't murder the king. I mean, God chose Saul.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I can't replace what God put in place. This is
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: going to be my legacy. This is going to be
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: my story. This will be the story that people tell
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: about me. I mean, I love the one they sing
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: about David and Goliath, but I don't know that I
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: want them turning this into a song, right? I don't
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: want this to be the story I have to tell
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: my grandchildren, granddaddy, grandpapa. Tell us how you became king again.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: We love the story.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: You snuck up behind old King Saul and you slit
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: his throat while he was using the potty.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Tell us that story again. I mean, is that really
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: the story you want to tell?
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: In fact, the text tells us that David was conscience stricken.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: And somehow with all this energy and all this testosterone
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: and all this adrenaline and everything going on in that cave,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: suddenly he was able to stop long enough and pay
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: attention to this irrational tension. He was able to pay
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: attention to his irrational conscience. And it saved him from becoming.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: His own worst enemy.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Because in that moment, he would have become the man
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: who murdered Israel's first king. He would become the man
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: who murdered his own father-in-law. The man who allowed him
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: to rise to prominence after he killed.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: Goliath.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: And so somewhere between the back of the cave and
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: King Saul's back, this all gets reframed for him. And
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: he realizes, oh my goodness. No wonder there's a tension.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: No wonder there's a hesitation. He was conscience stricken and
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: he snuck up behind King Saul and he took King
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Saul's disregarded robe and he cut off the corner and
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: he went back to the cave. And his men hiding
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: in the cave, can you imagine? They can't believe this.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Now he has some explaining to do. And they're like,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: they just can't believe what they just saw. I mean,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: this is the perfect opportunity. They can finally go home.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: There will no longer be a price on their heads.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: And he said to his men, the text says, he
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: said to his men, the Lord forbid, this is amazing,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: that I should do such a thing to my master.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: The Lord's anointed. Wait a minute, David.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: You know, two and a half minutes ago, he wasn't
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: your master, the Lord's anointed. Two and a half minutes ago,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: he was your enemy.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: What happened?
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: And then the men are saying, okay, if you won't
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: do it, we'll do it. In fact, we'll all do
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: it together. If you don't want to have blood on
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: your hands, we understand that. Just let us do it.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: And with these words, the text says, with these words,
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: on his way.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: So close. So close. So close. Let me ask you
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: a question. We'll get back to the story. Are you
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: close enough?
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Are you contemplating something and you're selling, selling, selling, selling, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning?
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: You've kind of decided you've sort of got there. You know,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: your husband, he's not so sure. Your wife's not so sure.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Some of your friends are like, really? I mean, and
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: then you got other friends are going, oh yeah, oh yeah,
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: oh yeah. Everybody, everybody, culture, culture, culture. Are you so close?
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Is it possible that right now, in fact, you can't
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: even believe I'm talking about this. It's like, what? This
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: is exactly what I'm going through. Are you so close?
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: Are you selling yourself? Come on.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: You don't have to be honest with anybody else. I mean,
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: you lie to yourself all the time. At least be
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: honest with yourself for a moment, right?
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, me too, right?
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Are you selling yourself on a bad idea? Are you
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: ignoring your conscience? Is there an internal hesitation, an internal tension,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: and you've just kind of pushed right by it? Are
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: you selling yourself on an idea that's gonna, or a
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: decision that's gonna follow you around for.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: The rest of your life? that's gonna make you.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: A liar for life because you're never gonna want anybody
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: to know this part of your story.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: And you're never gonna want anybody to tell this part
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: of your story.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: And one day when you have children or one day
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: when you have grandchildren and you tell your story, you
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: get to this part and you just kind of are.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Gonna have to skip over it.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Are you on the verge of becoming your own worst enemy? Enemy?
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: If so, can I just make a suggestion? I'm not
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: the boss of you. I can't tell you what to do,
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: but can I just make a suggestion? Would you at
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: least hit pause?
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: Just stop for a moment selling yourself and just listen.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Listen.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Listen to the wiser voices around you and perhaps listen
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: to that still small voice on the inside of you
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: that's going, I don't think that's the best thing because
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: It may be, I don't know, just guessing. It may
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: be the whisper of God who loves you, who loves
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: you and is doing everything he can to keep you
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: from becoming your own worst enemy.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: So as the text says, Saul exits the cave.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: He has no clue as to how close he came
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: to joining all of his dead ancestors. He goes back,
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: he gets on his mule, and as he gets on
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: his mule, this is amazing, he hears a voice say,
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: And it's a familiar voice. And it's coming from the
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: direction of the cave he just exited. And everybody in
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: the whole, all of his men, everybody in the caravan,
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: everybody involved, everybody's head turns and standing at the mouth
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: of the cave that Saul just came out of is David,
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: flanked by his men.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: And David bows low in honor of the king.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: And then he stands up and he holds up the
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: corner of Saul's robe. And in that moment, and here's
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: the moment I don't want you to miss in your life.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: In that moment, here's the moment I want you to
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: be able to tell your kids and grandkids about and
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: your friends about someday, your future husband or wife someday.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: In that moment, everybody there knew who the better man was.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: It was David. David gives a little speech. It's very interesting.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna read the whole thing, but at the
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: end of the speech, here's how he concludes. He says, Saul,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: may the Lord be the judge between you and me,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: and may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: to me, but my hand will not touch you. I'm
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: going to do the right thing. I will not.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Take matters into my own hands. And because David.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: Listened to that still small hesitation, that tension, that little
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: ding of his conscience in a moment when most people
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: would just have paid no attention to it, David decided,
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: and this is where some of you are, David decided
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: not to use Saul's bad behavior as an excuse for
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: bad behavior.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: So how about you?
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: As you think about the option you're considering, That big
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: life change you're considering. That thing you've pretty much talked
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: yourself into. In fact, the wheels are already turning.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: Are you considering? Are you considering.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Behaving badly based on somebody else's bad behavior? Because of
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: what they did to you. Because of what they're trying
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: to do to you. Because of what everybody else.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Around you does. Come on. Are you considering becoming like
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: someone you don't even like? Are you selling... yourself.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Remember, we rarely ever have to sell ourself. We rarely
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: ever have to sell ourself on the right thing to do.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: So now, all eyes turn from David to Saul, and
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: he is completely humiliated by David.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: But here's the interesting thing.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: He's not humiliated by David's military skill. He's humiliated by
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: David's character. He's humiliated by David's self-control. He's humiliated by
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: David's Humility. And Saul has no choice. He turns his
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: army around and he heads back to Jerusalem. That's the
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: power of paying attention to that tension. When my daughter Allie,
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: three children, Allie's our youngest, when she was in the
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: eighth grade, she and I were studying for a test
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: together using a study guide. And as we were studying,
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: it occurred to me that her older brother Garrett had
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: had the same class with the same teacher the year before.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: And I thought, I wonder if there are any old
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: tests to study from.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: She said, Dad, we can't do that.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: I said, yeah, if the teacher gave out tests, then
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: he knows these tests are floating around. And in college,
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: you do it all the time. So I went digging around,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: and sure enough, I found an old test. And this
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: isn't a parenting seminar. I'm just telling you what happened, okay?
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: This isn't for modeling. This is for, it's just what happened.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: So anyway, so we sat down, and we studied through
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: this test to get her ready. She was an A student,
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: so it wasn't a big deal.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: So, you know, anyway, so.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: She goes to class the next day. The teacher hands
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: out the test, and it's the same test, right? Yeah.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: So that afternoon, she gets home from school, and I.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Ask what every good parent asks when they have studied
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: with their children for a test. I said, Allie, how
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: did we do on our test? Isn't that what you asked?
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: You want to know what kind of grades you made,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: you know? She said, Dad, you're not going to believe this.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: It was the same test, and I felt like I
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: was cheating. I'm like, no, no, no, no, you weren't cheating.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: It was the teacher's fault. If they're going to hand
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: these things out, they know that these things are floating around.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: I'm not giving parenting advice. Let me just reiterate that.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: This is just what happened. And I said, besides you're
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: an A student, you know, I'm trying to ease her conscience.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: She said, no, no, no, Dad, it's okay.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: I told him. I know, I'm like, what? What? You
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: told on yourself? Whose child are you? Okay.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: So then I have to switch gears like, oh, I'm
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: so glad you did. That was the right thing to do.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm so proud of you. You know, I'm just,
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I'm just sorry because I'm the one that got you
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: into trouble. If I needed, she's like, no, no, no,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: I didn't get in trouble.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: Like, well, what?
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: She said, well, he had another test, and he got
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: to school that morning, and the copy machine wasn't working,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: so he couldn't make copies, so he just had copies
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: of an old test and used the test that Garrett had,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: and he was in the same class.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: I said, so you didn't get in trouble? She said, no,
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: he was proud of me for telling him. I'm like, yeah,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: me too, me too, me too. So the point of
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: this is, come on, an eighth grade girl felt tensioned.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: what do you do with that tension? Do I tell
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: my teacher or not? And when she thought not, she
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: felt more tension. So she decided to pay attention to
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: the tension rather than pay attention to her father. Anyway,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: you're going to get by that real quick. Anyway, so
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: she paid attention to things. Now, I know what you're thinking.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: You're thinking, oh, that's so cute.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: What's that got to do with me? It's got everything
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: to do with you. Here's why.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Because the tension that you are wrestling with right now
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: The tension you're wrestling with right now falls somewhere between
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: choosing whether or not to tell your math teacher you
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: studied from an old test and murdering a king. I
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: think we've bookended about everything you and I could experience, right?
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: It's somewhat this side of murdering a king, it's probably
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: somewhat this side of what are you gonna tell your
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: math teacher, but the principle is the same. What are
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: you gonna do with that tension? If there's something that
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: you can't quite put your finger on, hit pause. If
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: there's something where you find yourself saying, I just have
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: an overactive conscience, maybe, but maybe not, hit pause. If
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: there's something that someone else has put their finger on
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: and you're mad at them for bringing it up, but
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: then when you got alone by yourself, you can't get
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: it off your mind, you can't get it off your heart,
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: it's bothering you, here's my advice. Let it bother you.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Don't rush by it. That tension may be God's way
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: of protecting you from becoming.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: Your own worst enemy. enemy? And ask the question.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: I know it's painful, but I'm telling you, for some
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: of you, this is like a curtain's going to open
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: up and you're going to have clarity. You're going to
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: hate the clarity, but you're going to look back and
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: be so grateful for the clarity. And ask the question,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: is there attention? Is there attention that deserves my attention?
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Is there attention that deserves my attention? This is a
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: preemptive strike against becoming your own worst enemy. Because after all,
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Every habit, you know this, every habit begins with the
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: first time. And every pattern begins with the first line.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: And every journey begins with.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: The first step.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: So if something bothers you about him, let it bother you.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: If there's something that kind of bothers you about her,
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: let it bother you. If there's something that kind of
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: bothers you about the deal, let it bother you. If
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: there's something that bothers you about that set of circumstances
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: or that invitation or whatever it is, just don't rush
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: by it. Don't brush by it. Sit on it and
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: let it bother you. Face it until it either goes
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: away or you decide to go a different way. Because
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: what oftentimes begins as nothing more than an uneasy feeling
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: over time becomes something that.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Is supported with reason or inside.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: It's that moment that David had as he crept up
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: behind King David and it's like, wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, wait, what?
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: I mean, yes, in one context, this makes perfect sense.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: In another context, I am about to murder my father-in-law.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: What was I thinking?
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: So I'd like for you to consider making this commitment.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: We're gonna have a commitment for each of these three ideas.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: And the first commitment is simply this, it's simple. Would
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: you be willing to pause until you pinpoint the cause?
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Would you be willing to make this commitment?
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: I'm going to pause until I pinpoint the cause. Or
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: another way of saying it, I'm going to explore rather
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: than ignore my conscience.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: I'm going to explore.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Why does that bother me? Why am I uneasy about that?
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Everybody else says it's okay. Everybody else is involved. Everybody
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: else does it this way. I'm going to explore rather
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: than ignore my conscience. Is there attention that deserves your attention?
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: If so, pay attention because that's a decision you will
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: never regret. In fact, that's a decision that.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: Will lead to fewer regrets.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: That's a decision that will ensure that you don't become
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: your own worst enemy.