Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.81 | Experiments in Joy; Continuing to Trust the Nudge with Shay & Mariah

Transcript

Ep.81 | Experiments in Joy; Continuing to Trust the Nudge with Shay & Mariah · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: We're your hosts, Mariah and Shay.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Two online business strategists passionate about rewriting the rules to success within both life and business.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast started because we both felt frustrated by the lack of deep, meaningful, and transparent conversations around what it takes to actually run a business that we both feel good about.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: So we decided to create that for ourselves.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: We want our solo episodes and guest interviews to be examples of how you two can chase your dreams and go down your own rabbit holes, ultimately leading to a more sustainable and fulfilling life.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: We believe that curiosity is our superpower, and trusting the nudge is a muscle that's meant to be strengthened.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Especially if we want to create a lifestyle that feels good from the inside out.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: So are you ready to open your mind and let curiosity guide the way?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Let's take this journey together.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: We're so glad you're here.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: All right, friends.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to season five of the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: We are so happy to be um back in the studio recording for you guys.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: We took a bit of a break between season four and season five, um, a little bit longer than we normally have taken in the past, just because um Mariah and I have both kind of entered new chapters in life.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um Life be life in, dude.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Life be life in.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, to be frank, I was kind of finishing last season at a pretty low space.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I was feeling really drained.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so we just wanted to take some time to kind of give ourselves a minute.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: We do this podcast like out of the pure joy of it.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is like um an act of love.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: We we absolutely uh get a lot out of these conversations and the people that we've connected with.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So we just wanted to take some time to simmer and figure out, you know, like every single season, we've kind of taken a moment to zoom out and look at the forest through the trees and think about why we do the podcast and what purpose it's here to serve.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: So um, thank you guys for your patience with us.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: We appreciate y'all's support in the meantime.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: We've been blown away by how many people are still listening to the podcast, even though Yeah, every time I log into Podbean, which is like where our podcast is hosted, I'm literally like, yo, the people are still finding us.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: People are still listening to us.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because it's like I come from the world of like blogging and SEO and YouTube and SEO, and it's like, of course, bitch, of course, the long-form content is like forever findable.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: But to see the numbers backing it up, even though we feel like we're not quote unquote doing anything, but like we've built these reserves, these conversations that live on the internet forever, it's pretty fucking cool.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's really cool.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And there's something that I think you and I have always felt a little self-conscious about, or maybe it's just me.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we mentioned it in our new intro.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: We've always wondered, you know, business advice will tell you we should be making short style episodes.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but Mariah and I have really always been nourished by the longer conversations and being able to dive into the weeds of things and go deep on things.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so we've been really encouraged that it seems like y'all are craving that too.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we get a lot of really sweet messages from you guys just saying that you're here with us and you're feeling these feelings as well.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you guys for sending all the love while we were off.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: It was very um helpful and encouraging and validating.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're excited to bring you a new season.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And what we were hoping to talk about on today's episode is we just want to get you guys an update of um where we're at in life, what's been going on, but also that idea of joy and um chasing joy.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: So since we stopped in May, I've been kind of doing a little science experiment in my own life.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And Mariah has been unraveling this in her own way as well of what is joy?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Joy and play is like words I hear pinging around.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: I need more play, I need more joy in my life.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: But like, what does that actually mean?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: What does that look like?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I shared with y'all last season that I was starting to feel like my life was just like a series of chores.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: There was never like a lot of fun things or things that brought me a lot of joy in my life.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: So um the last few months, I'd say over the summer and into this fall, I've just been kind of like unapologetically chasing joy and trying to figure out what that looks like and um in a really cool spot with that, feeling all feeling really lit up lately.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, we just want to get you guys up to speed.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Can you tell us more?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: We're just gonna dive right into you, girl.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Can you tell us more?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what does that look like?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: What have you been up to?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: So um I was in, I'm trying to decide where to dive in.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: One of my goals this season on the podcast is to be more vulnerable and open with you guys about my personal life.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I do think that the reason we created this podcast is we were really tired of all the bullshit online around like get your next 20k a month, girl, and like it just all like hype up stuff.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: It was all you know, you're just seeing the hype.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Money focus.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's all money focus.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's literally like build the agency, have a team of 574 people, but then just pay somebody to manage them all so you could just kick it and put your feet in the dirt and ground all day.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like I was good.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, I was just gonna say, like, I love the idea of it, but like like the grounding all day, like I love that.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: But like the growing a team and only focus on money, money has never been deep enough for me.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: It just hasn't.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And listen, for some people, it is that can be like a really clear motivating factor.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: If you have a goal for paying off debt or you have a goal to buy a house, or like you are worried about like living situations and things like that, like that can be it.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: But like if all of my basic needs are taken care of, that next step, I am not motivated by money.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, all of that messaging, it piques my curiosity.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh girl, how are you making 20k months?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like 100k months, what the fuck are you talking about?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Break that shit down.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it's cool to be able to tap in and see like possibilities and opportunities, but I feel like it wasn't deep enough to be like a motivating factor for me.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing, I'm kind of an emotional person, I'm moody, you know.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: For me, what I'm interested in is knowing how all of these quote unquote successful people deal with themselves on a day-to-day basis.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how do you fill your own cup up?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: How do you do this for the long term?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like, yeah, there's gonna be hot months, but there's also gonna be like really shitty months.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I am the reason I went down this rabbit hole, I'm in a season of my life.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when we first started the podcast episode, you know, I had my own agency that I ran with my husband.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, at the very beginning of the podcast, we were not, it was really difficult on our marriage and on our relationship to run a business together.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: So we decided that we didn't want to do that anymore.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so he went off and does his own thing now.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I started doing sales consulting um and helping creative entrepreneurs with selling better, like sales coaching.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: I also joined another agency at that time as a sales consultant doing all their sales.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because that was the part of the business that I loved.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's what at the beginning of this, it all started with like, what about this?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Do I really like?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: What am I good at?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Where's my zone of genius?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I kind of identified that sales piece, which we've shared with you guys before.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so all of this to say, what's been really going on in my personal life is around the time that we stopped the business, my husband got diagnosed with pretty extreme heart failure.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he's been in and out of the hospital quite a bit.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he's currently on the heart transplant list.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: We've been at this for like, geez, like four years now, three or four years.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was feeling he can't work the way that he used to.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so I felt a lot of pressure that I needed to be the quote unquote responsible one.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I got a the high-paying job.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was making 20K months.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: That that was like a peak.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Typically, I was like between 10 to 15K, but I was quote unquote living the dream, right?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Working remotely, doing my zone of genius job.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was a consultant, so I'm kind of still a bit independent, which is important to me.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but to be frank with you guys, like the reason I got that job, my personal life felt really chaotic.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: And what we talk about here is like you don't need your online business to be everything for you.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: But one thing I noticed was like when my personal life felt chaotic, I needed my income to feel a bit more stable.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so being on my own 100% was not feeling great.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to have like a team to work with.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's kind of what led me into that more like consulting type position.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I was earning good money, you know, like checked all the boxes, blah, blah, blah.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me, why does my body start reacting?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, this job was great.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: It was everything I said I wanted.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was eventually I don't know if y'all are like this, but like whenever I'm doing something, things just started to feel like out of alignment for me.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: There was quite a few things about this job that were not stable.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: They were actually quite chaotic.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I was realizing that now my personal life was chaotic, my job life was chaotic, everything was feeling chaotic.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder I was feeling like everything was a chore.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: But this um consulting job just really started to like feel out of integrity.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I had this little voice in my head being like, this isn't right, this is not where you're supposed to be, this is not what you're supposed to be doing.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I also had this really heavy voice of responsibility, like, hey, you need to be the breadwinner in your household.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you guys are saving up for a potential heart transplant, like you need to be earning money, and this is the best way to do that.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I really like struggled with that for a very long time.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it was really hard for me to get over that like feeling of responsibility.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if I left that position and dove into the unknown, what would that mean?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, for me, it's like a life and a partner, you know.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: So it was very difficult.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: But here's what my body started doing.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I have noticed in the past, like when I am not listening to my intuition and I'm not making the moves that I need to, something physically will go wrong.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I started to get my old hip and back pain that I had at my old desk job when I left to move abroad a long time ago.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other thing that started happening was my right eye just was twitching like nonstop.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: It would not stop twitching.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so finally, I don't know, you guys, I've been talking with Mariah about this offline, getting good advice from my friends, realizing I have to listen to myself.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I left this kind of toxic-y job um a few like a month or so ago now.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: And like literally the second that I put in my notice with them, my eyes stopped twitching and I my hip pain is going away.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And what's been going on in the background of all of this is um I was feeling so low around May, I started to ask myself, like, what do I do for fun?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: What do I do for play?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I had a friend, there's that Glenn and Doyle, she has a podcast, and I heard a clip from that talking about a lot of us as adult women think of play.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like you tell me, Mariah, when you think of play, like what's the first things that pop up for you?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um puzzles and taking a bath and uh making Andrew put on like a comedy clip on YouTube.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's a good one.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um one point that Glenn and made, which I thought was interesting, for me when I first thought of play, I was like, oh, I'm gonna go paint on a canvas or why do we always have to think of like I need to go to Hobby Lobby and get a fucking set of paints and then I'm going to make homemade cards for everybody in my life?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why does it have to be that extreme?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't so what Glennon was saying, which I think is a cool point of like that is great, but that's creativity.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's not necessarily play and fun.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what would be play?
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: What feels like fun?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, at least, like painting and writing poetry, it does feel like a creative expression, and I think that's important, but it doesn't necessarily feel like fun.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I started to just ask myself, like, what I honestly felt really disconnected from the idea.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't been a child in a while.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really carve time for fun.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so the two weird things that popped up were number one, I've shared with this before, but like I've grown up going to garage sales and estate sales, and I've always had an eBay store ever since I was in high school with my dad, like selling car parts.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: I love selling stuff online and like flipping things, going to thrift stores.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's always been such a great joy for me.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, okay, I I like that.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: I used to like to do that.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let's try that.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I also really love dancing.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like dancing, I don't know if y'all have done like a static dance before.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Or when we were obviously younger, you could go to clubs all the time.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like a bit, although that's not totally true.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I was frustrated.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like as a grown adult woman, there's not a lot of chances to dance unless you're at a wedding.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, what we did this summer, my husband fortunately is always down to go dancing.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: So we started just finding like like raves and dance parties in the city and DJ sets and like going.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, fortunately, everyone wears sunglasses now, so I can like kind of hide my crow's feet.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Go and we're just dancing at night.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: So the joke I had with my friends was the summer I lived my best old lady, young lady lifestyle.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: In the mornings, I was going to yard sales, and then in the evenings, we were having a brat summer and going out and dancing.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: So, anywho, got an extreme amount of joy from all of this stuff.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Just had a blast.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: So much fun.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: I actually built my eBay business up to the point where, although it's not 20K months, it is earning like a decent amount of money to where I felt comfortable enough putting in that two weeks, even though I don't have something else lined up.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I've just been kind of like dancing and flipping things on eBay ever since.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so um I that's where I'm at right now.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm flipping things online.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I have a really I got a really little job at an auction house nearby, so I can kind of learn about more of this stuff.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: And um I literally, you guys have people telling me on a day-to-day basis, you have a glow about you.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're glowing.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: What's glowing about you?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like feeling amazing.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: I feel incredible.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have this energy.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: I have um, it feels totally illogical.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's one thing Ryan.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: I have been talking a lot about is like sometimes what you feel like you should do is gonna feel totally crazy and insane, but that's um doesn't really matter.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you kind of just have to take the next step and trust that it's gonna work out and you don't really have to see the end point.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say like that's very much where I am right now is feeling it out.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't exactly know what this is gonna turn into, um, but I know that it's like the right step I'm supposed to be on.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: And like doing these playful things has allowed me to really kind of find a confidence in myself that allowed me to not be the sacrificial lamb and feel like I have to carry all the responsibility and be brave enough to leave that last position, but also kind of like trust where I'm at right now, and like uh it just feels cool to be kind of like co-creating with the universe like this in a way that feels very like in surrender, you know.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know where this is going, but I the way I'm feeling right now feels like it's right.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't it funny how like you say all of that and then you're like, I don't know where this is going.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, no fucking shit.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like, when did we ever know where things were going?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: We never do.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: We have like these assumptions and like, oh, maybe it could be this and maybe it could be that.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like, I feel like when we choose to do something that feels illogical on some level, then it's like we always have to validate it with like, but I don't know what's gonna happen.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like nobody does.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, like, why would you?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Are you a psychic?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good point.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so it's just interesting.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: But like, I just want to reflect back to you.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if our listeners can tell.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but yeah, you feel different, you sound different, you sound grounded, and like even sharing your personal story, like with your husband and stuff like that.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I've known about all of this stuff since you know we started the podcast, but it wasn't something that you ever felt comfortable talking about.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like such a huge part of your life that like it's cool for to see you sharing all of that, not from like a I need people to understand, but from like a grounded, like, hey, this is what's happening, like, and and being transparent about that, and just like I feel like a lot of people are gonna listen to that and be like, holy fuck, dude.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: A, that's heavy.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I got chills when you were saying that.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, a, that's heavy, and B, like, I feel like that's kind of also what makes you tapping into play and joy even more meaningful.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's such a good reflection.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like because you have this very heavy situation happening, like a fucking heart trans, like that's very heavy, but you're also holding this other side of like, but I get to like be playful and have joy.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like what a gift that like you're sharing that with me with everybody listening, of just like, what a beautiful example that is.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for saying that.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think the ability to hold both is a really interesting skill.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: But like, can you be in very hard times and still give yourself permission to have joy and play?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: That was tough for me for a long time, was I felt like everything had to be so serious.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I I couldn't really laugh because there is a serious situation going on.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: But really, like now I can really appreciate how awesome those moments of like joy and lightheartedness are because normal life is heavy.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, you reminded me of one point I wanted to make.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think I at least had a lot of shame, you know, um, around leaving my agency business.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think, you know, even this podcast, you know, we call ourselves online business owners.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: And like I am an online business owner, that's always been my identity.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was kind of, I don't want to say solo dolo, but like we had our own thing going.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it was hard for me to detach from that identity I'd created for myself when life situations had changed.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so my message here is like, if you're an online business person, so you have your own business, that's a big part of who you are, but like your body is like rebelling against you because shit, maybe shit's going on in your personal life, and like that is just not feeling like a good fit anymore.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's fucking gonna be so many chapters in your life.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Go get a job with a team for now.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Go, you know, do something else, go get a job at J.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Crew and unpack boxes.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, uh, actually, what started all this for me, I worked a bartending shift at my friend's business over the summer and fucking got so high off of it.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you were so lit up.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: You were like, I was like, how was your weekend?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: And Shea comes on and she's like, Oh my god, dude, I literally had the best time ever.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was just serving drinks and talking to people, and I was like, Oh, okay.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: And like you loved every second of it.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like that was kind of a moment for you to be like, wait, like coming like out of like my little dark troll office and like coming to interact with humans in more of like a playful way, where you as the business owner didn't have everything on the line.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: You just show up and do your thing, and there's joy in that.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: What a gift!
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and let me tell you, I didn't realize this, but where I was, you know, we started our business 2017, and then we were running that, and COVID happened, and all this happened.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was just in a dark cave.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I felt.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: I hadn't been around a lot of people, and my whole job was Zoom calls.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, I didn't realize how isolated I had gotten.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm an introvert, I love being isolated, you know.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: But um, it this bartending shift that was such a big, I was just like, oh, it feels good to be around other people and chat with other people and just like shoot the shit.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I realized, even though I'm introverted and I like my home times, certainly there was something I was missing from not doing physical labor and not being around other humans.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that's kind of honestly what opened my mind to trying something different.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I will say, if you're feeling burnt out with your online life, let yourself experiment with maybe trying some other things and don't carry a lot of shame.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: What I've heard from our podcast guests over and over and over again is like, don't be afraid to reinvent yourself.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: Every time you're ready to level up, like the world's gonna meet you.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: And what I've been nervous to tell people, like, oh, I'm reselling things online these days.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but everyone's just been like, yeah, duh, that makes a lot of sense for you.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's been kind of shocking.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I guess I'm just trying to say, if you feel like what you're doing is not a good fit for you right now for whatever reason, don't be scared to burn it all down or or pivot or try something new, you know.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um Really, we talk about self-awareness a lot, but for me, it really started with like, what is feeling off?
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Where is the need?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: And letting myself be honest about that.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I don't know.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to say to you guys, like, there's so many ways to run an online business these days.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: There's not just, I think I had in my mind like I needed this coaching business to be a real online business owner.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's the only thing that will scale because I can sell group programs.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but like, guess what?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still an online business owner, but now I sell things on eBay.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: And like you can be every business is online these days.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so your journey can look like a whole lot of things.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can be by yourself, you can be with a team, you can be coaching, you can be flipping old hairbrushes.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like it's just that's the cool part about this online space is it's so vast, vast and open, and we can really create it.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's one thing I really was scared that like nobody's gonna respect me anymore, and they're gonna think I'm a flip-flopper, and they're gonna, I'm changing my mind all the time.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: But instead, it's been like so much love, so much like yeah, duh, you know, and so it's just been kind of cool to be like, I felt like I was failing again, and then see that that's not the case as always.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, this was just like a stepping stone I needed to get to the next level.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I think it's because like it's an inspiration to hear, and that's why we started the podcast.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's why we have guest interviews.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: We leave guest interviews feeling lit up, even if it's like not a conversation about something that we want to do directly.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's that reminder of possibility.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like you sharing of like, I feel really fucking good reselling five dollar lipsticks on eBay.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's an in, oh fuck, yeah, I can do this on the side while I do X, Y, and Z.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: And like I have had numerous conversations with my close business friends in the online space, and a lot of them have gotten a full-time job this year because they didn't like the fluctuations and the stress.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, some of them took a little bit of a pay cut, but it was that stability that they were craving.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then some of them they got that stability that allowed them to kind of level out their foundation.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: And now they're feeling even more creative to go back in and kind of restructure their business based on what they're learning.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: And like it's really, really cool.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: And like these, um, I just want to share the examples of like the jobs that they've gotten because I wouldn't have even considered this.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: But like one of my friends got a job at like her local uh chamber of commerce, like leading the chamber of commerce, and like she was an online business owner, but like now she was helping these local business owners bring their gifts and their things online, and she was getting experience, like hosting events and like the kind of like the uh the relationship aspect of like local business owner world.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like that is growing her business in a like different way.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: Essentially, she's gaining all of these new skills.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then I have another friend who started working at like the small business development center at her local college, and like that, she's learning about like buying and selling businesses, she's learning about like hosting conferences and being a speaker when it's like before she was helping people with their marketing plan.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like helping to round out their skill set.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: And to me, like when I talk to them, sometimes they're like, Yeah, like I don't know where, you know, the typical I don't I don't know where this is gonna lead me.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, yes, I totally get that.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, I'm like, dude, this is so fucking cool.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you are literally gaining so many new skills, so many learning so many new ways to do this.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: You were like turning knowledge into wisdom.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: And that wisdom, like, we can forget knowledge, but wisdom is integrated.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: And now imagine how many fucking people you're gonna help when you've rounded out the information that you know.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like, I just wanted to share those examples from like other people that I've been talking to, where it's like they just wanted a little bit of stability there.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: And like you, the cool thing, you can literally make money any fucking way that you want to.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: And like, I think that's the cool thing about our podcast too, is like we do kind of dabble in all different industries and niches, but like that's what we're interested in.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: We're interested in learning how these people, you know, combine the inner work and the outer work.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll talk about like EMDR and like IFS and internal family systems and like your nervous system.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: But then we're also sharing stories about like all of these different fucking ways that people make money online.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I just think it's cool.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you have your own story to tell.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: So uh Mariah has also started a new business in the the downtime, and um, she's I think um had an interesting experience revisiting what it's like to be a new business owner.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: So tell us a little bit about what's been going on in your world.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it's funny because I feel like everybody already knows, but like our last episode was what, like in February, and so it's been.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, was it February?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: I've been saying May this whole time.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: So we were yeah, I'm pretty sure like February, January, February.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: So it's been what, like 10 months?
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like a complete, like basically all of the cells girl, all of the cells in my body have since regenerated, and I'm now a new person, just under the same name.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but okay, so since the end of season four, basically, and me and Andrew, we were living in Tampa, Florida after we moved from Asheville.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: We lived in Tampa, Florida for like three months, and then we came to the decision of like, do we move home to Buffalo?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: Do we move home to Buffalo, New York?
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I was kind of like, I'm not sure.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really, I didn't really want to, but then I was kind of excited, but whatever.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: But while we were on the mountain in Asheville, I discovered sourdough.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember bringing this up in like quite a few uh podcast conversations.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: But it's interesting because like I was dabbling in sourdough, and then Andrew was like, wait, I made a sourdough bagel, and he was like, took one bite of it.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, Wait, this is delicious.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: And the bagel's like better for me.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, Yeah, it's like fermented.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: So it's broken down or breaks the gluten down, it's better on digestion, yada yada, yada.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, Can I do this?
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Well, you can do whatever you want to.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't give a fuck.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, So I can make them and sell them.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, you can, because I don't want to.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't want to make bagels and sell them.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we moved to Tampa, he was testing out recipes, and then we decided after Tampa, okay, we're moving home because Andrew was like, I want to give this sourdough business a shot.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it made sense to move home where we have community, where we have friends, where we have family to kind of like go ahead and take this and kind of run with it.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so we moved home in probably like March.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: And since then we've been kind of, it's interesting because like we've been kind of in limbo land.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have a friend who has a house that he is renovating and we're looking to rent this house.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: The house was supposed to be done being renovated in June.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: And now it is November and it is not yet done.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so we are living in kind of like I call it the limbo apartment.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, like we haven't, we don't have a couch, we have a like a mattress on the floor, we have no dining room table, like we have no organization in the kitchen because we thought that we were only gonna live here in this like quote unquote limbo apartment for like one to three months.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then, oh look, it's been seven.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so during this time, we started a sourdough business, which has been interesting because I forgot how fucking hard it is to begin a business from scratch.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: I have ran my online business for it'll be 10 years this summer.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: I forgot, like, you have to build a website, you have to do branding, social media profiles, had to create a fucking email list, had to figure out how we're gonna sell, have to create all the content for things, have to post on social media.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I just like forgot about how many components that it takes.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so we've been kind of testing out like this business model.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you guys are in like the um like the sourdough world on Instagram, but essentially the business model is like you do menu drops, and so it's like everybody signs up for this text thing, and then you text them when you open up a menu and they kind of pre, they pre-buy the items, and then a couple of days later they come on your porch to pick things up.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so we were like, especially in this limbo apartment, we didn't want to have like a consistent thing.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: We didn't know when the fuck we were moving, everything felt up in the air.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: So we kind of have been doing these like menu drops, and it's interesting because what I've learned from my business is like take note of what feels easy and what feels fun.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: And the menu drops feel fucking awful.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: They are like suffocating.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, me, I'm just like, is this just me?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm talking to Andrew about it because essentially he is like the core focus of this business.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the marketing person, I'm the conversationalist, I'm the communication gal, but like I am not the baker.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, How do you feel about this?
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: Do you like this?
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, It's fucking awful.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: We can't do this, absolutely not.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so we've kind of been like, as we've been in this limbo period, I keep asking myself, I'm like, what are we meant to learn here?
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_01: What are we meant to learn?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: We're meant to learn something.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's kind of just been like, okay, well, what are different ways that we could grow this business?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: And that's been really interesting too.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: So at the same time, when I moved back to Buffalo, I feel like my hands are always in 1700 fucking pots.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: But like I noticed in when we moved back, I love checking out coffee shops.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: I have loved checking out coffee shops for 10 years, like since I started my business.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: I have just loved it.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so when I was in Tampa, in order to find the cool coffee shops to go to, I ended up following like Tampa coffee shop Instagram profiles.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: Very helpful for finding new places.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: I moved to Buffalo, there wasn't one.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, well, who better of a person to start this Instagram than me?
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I started this Instagram maybe in May of this past year, and just go into different coffee shops.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: I take a photo of my coffee and I write just like a really quick thing of like what the location is, where it is, and like I give an overview of the vibe and I let people know like if it's laptop friendly.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you're trying to find a coffee shop and like you want to work from home, I'm like, I don't know what kind of vibe this is.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: Is this a walk in and I just like buy a pastry and walk out?
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: Are there tables?
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: Is there only two tables?
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_01: Is there 17 tables?
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I've realized that coffee shop owners typically aren't very good at social media and like will only show you photos of their pastries, their sandwiches, and their coffee.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: And they won't show you photos of like the interior of the actual yeah, the vibe of like the interior of like such a good point.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: I hadn't thought about that.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: Of just like what I'm walking into.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so I ended up starting this coffee shop Instagram.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: Feels really fun.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's an excuse for also me and my teenage nieces to hang out.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: I pick them up, we try ice of vanilla lattes wherever we want.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: They rate them on a scale of one to 10.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_01: We have like a running list of like what their top five are, and that feels like a really fun connection point.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so it felt very easy.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: And then I noticed I'm like, this Buffalo Coffee Shop Instagram is growing way fucking faster than our dibs.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the sourdough business name, D-I-B-B-S sourdough, so dib sourdough, way fucking faster than dib sourdough.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like, why?
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, you know what's really been working very, very well?
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: When I go into a coffee shop and I take a picture, I add the coffee shop as a collaborator on the thing.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: So then it shows up on their Instagram profile feed and mine.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so now it's shown to all of their audience and my audience.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then people are like, oh fuck, I didn't even know that this Instagram was a thing.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so then when we were thinking about growing dibs, I'm like, well, if Buffalo Coffee Shops Instagram grew so quickly, and it was because of collaborations.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: How can we move that into dibs?
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because, like, if I if I'm in charge of the Instagram and like the marketing for dibs, how can I make this feel more fun for me?
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, what if we collaborate?
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so I ended up finding a coffee shop recently, and we ended up doing a collaboration where we literally dropped off like sourdough scones and sourdough cookies on a Saturday morning.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_01: They sold the stuff.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I was telling Shay the next day, I literally was like, dude, that was so fucking easy to market.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: It felt so fucking fun.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_01: We made a little less money than like a menu drop, but like it felt like I wasn't growing my business by myself.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: And marketing felt easier because I feel like I was like gassing somebody else up, and I just so happened to be part of it.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like I feel like from all of these different ventures, I've been kind of pulling these threads together.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: Let me rewind for a second.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: First share with the people, how has that Instagram account grown into how much in what time period?
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: So how many months since May?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: May, June, July, August, September, October.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: So like seven months, six months, a thousand followers.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: So this is cool, you guys.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: I I am at the point of like kind of wanting to start a new content business, and I'm like, oh, it's too late.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna ever be able to grow an audience.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's too much noise.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: Mariah in May started going to coffee shops.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't, it's faceless for all those faceless girlies out there.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's all just her sharing photos.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: Some people have no idea that it's me.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: And um, she's what what I thought was cool about that story, yes, it is collaboration, but also it's joy.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: What of course, what is growing more?
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: The the one where you're having a lot of fun and joy with it, or the one that feels like a drag.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so you by allowing yourself one note I wrote here was like a lot of times it sounds like for us, at least joy and ease are coming together.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where is ease happening?
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: Where are things happening?
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it typically for me, that's also like where my play and joy is.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of cool to see you bring, like, yes, I do think it's collaboration, but I also think it's you guys giving yourself permission to have a little fun with it.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I agree.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: And okay, not surprising to any of our long-term listeners, but I've also pulled a human design chart for the Dibbs sourdough business, and it's a four-one profile.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so the four is all about relationships and stuff like that.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: And like that very much feels aligned.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: So it's funny because, like, you know, we're in this limbo period, we don't have an extra fridge, we don't have an extra oven, our quantities that we can bake is like really, really, really fucking small.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes it's like this is Andrew's first business.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes he's like, Can we do this?
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_01: Is this worth it?
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: Does this make sense?
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: But then it's like through every conversation that we have with people, we're getting amazing feedback.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then we were like, okay, well, we're gonna have to buy like a new mixer.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: Commercial mixers are like fucking$12,000.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like they are absolutely insane.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: But the four-one profile, okay, relationships.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if we spend time having conversations with people, letting people in, building relationships, opportunities will come through like relationships.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: So my mom was working last year at a local pierogi place, okay.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: Very cute for little Kathy.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_01: And my mom's like five foot one.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so, like, little Kathy making pierogies, okay.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: So the pierogi place ended up closing down.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: The owners were ready to retire.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: They were kind of over it.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so they reached out to my mom and they were like, hey, we're looking to sell some things.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: And my mom was like, Oh, my daughter's actually starting like a sourdough business.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_01: Have her come in, she could take a look at the equipment, whatever.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: We went in there.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: There is a mixer, a commercial mixer.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: Andrew looks it up.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: This commercial mixer is probably worth like 10 to 12 grand.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: Brand new.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's an old style mixer that like you can call somebody to like fix, like do repairs on because it's fucking made well.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just like all plastic gear bullshit.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so, like the longevity, they had it serviced and like maintained every year.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: They like still had the owner's manual, whatever.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: Guess how much they fucking charged us for this mixer?
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: $300 for a$10,000 mixer.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so to me, I was just like, this is a sign that we have to keep going.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: There's no fucking way that we are going to get such a killer deal.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: We ended up spending$800 and getting like basically everything that we needed, aside from an oven.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: And like to me, it's just like, there's no way that we shouldn't keep moving forward if we got this amazing opportunity.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: Just like the the name of the podcast, Curiously Guided, Trusting the Nudge.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: We had the nudge to like, hey, we should invest in this, even though it doesn't make sense because the menu drops fucking suck and like people aren't buying as well as we want, and the marketing is fucking annoying.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_01: But like it's these little little glimmers that kind of be like, wait, can you connect to something greater?
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so I feel like it's been such a different experience from my business, maybe, but also like I started my business when I was 22.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: So like I still remember it being difficult, but I also had nothing to compare it to.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I'm kind of further away to where I don't really like I can't tap into those that like 22-year-old feeling anymore.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel like I'm a different person.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm a different person and I see things differently.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: But like it's cool to also be, I guess, like that stability factor for Andrew because like it's his first business.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: He's never gone through this before.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: He's having inner critic self-doubt, all of the is this shit even good?
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: This bagel fucking sucks.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then, like, I'm taking a bite, I'm like, this is incredible.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: I want to eat seven of them.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's just interesting to see this like different side of the same coin for things.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's um A, it's cool that Andrew has you, because a lot of people starting don't have the seasoned pro that can kind of be like, hey, wait it out.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is normal.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: But there's something you mentioned there that I've been feeling a lot lately, which is um like guided or like I don't, I won't, I don't know if it's like a God thing or like it's ease, these moments of like crazy serendipity, but like the the I'm so glad you brought up the Progi example.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody, there was no public sale for people.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like this was just a connection that Mariah's mom randomly had, and it was exactly what they needed, and at the price point they needed it to be at.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like that to me is God, a God thing.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like when stuff like that happens, it's like, how the fuck did this line up?
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm having, I mentioned, you know, I I'm having a couple of things.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mentioned that auction house job lineup.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's weird.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't even really try.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: It was just kind of like put in front of me, and I had this feeling of like, this is right.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: You just have these little feelings of like this is it.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and can you allow yourself to be led?
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: That was one thing.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, can I trust?
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: Even though this makes no fucking logical sense right now.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm taking this huge pay cut, but like it feels right.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: This feels like a God thing.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and do it.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can you let yourself be led in that way and surrender, even though you don't get the bigger picture?
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like that little God piece has been very much firing me up lately because I had kind of felt a bit disconnected from like the mystery of life and like this co-creation daily.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we are co-creating something daily if you let yourself stay in connection with spirit and let yourself be led in trust, right?
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I really, these little like moments of godliness that have been popping up in life lately have um, I think been kind of a reflection of like the importance of allowing yourself find joy and asking yourself these questions and allowing yourself to do things maybe a little bit differently than you have in the past.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I agree.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I think remembering that like God, universe, whoever often speaks through other people.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's important to remember too, because like we forget, we silo ourselves.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like with the dibs, I felt like I was in a fucking silo with my business in the beginning.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good that's a thing that I've seen that I've noticed overlap.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like I was in a silo.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_01: I need to dig in, I need to do this myself, I need to strategize it.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the one that's gonna make this work.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, I'm the business owner or like I'm the co-founder.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, of course, my action matters, but like it's not all actually on us.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: Can we instead?
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think this is a huge thing.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_01: Can we instead let other people in?
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_01: I could have not told anybody that we needed a mixer or we're looking for equipment.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: I could have not told anybody that like we were having, like that we were starting this business or like that we were focusing.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I didn't have to really tell anybody these things.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel like through transparency, through connecting with people, through letting people in, through communicating with them, letting them know like where you're at and through like noticing how you talk about things, I feel like that's where the opportunity is.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Come, like we ended up getting an event invitation to be a vendor at an event because I was talking to my friend and I was like, Oh, like what are you up to?
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, Oh, I'm because she was selling matcha at the time.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, Oh, I'm selling matcha at this yoga event.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Can I sell bread at this yoga event?
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_01: But like, if I had too much pride or too much ego or didn't think like we were at a place where, like, we're not known enough yet to be at an event, we're not blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, it's like I never would have asked.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_01: But because I asked, we ended up getting into it.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then we ended up getting like amazing content and feedback, like for social media and connecting with people and like building relationships and whatever.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just interesting because especially in the online space, we silo ourselves.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: But now having also a physical product business, we can't fucking grow this by ourselves.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: We need to connect with people.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like that can get really um, that can get overlooked in the online space because you're working by yourself in an office.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking like that's exactly where I was at.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_00: I was so siloed, and I have to think a lot of us online business people feel exactly the same way.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_00: And there's some magic around I'm reminded of we have some awesome guest interviews this season, you guys, but there's one in particular you'll hear me get my mind blown on Omari's episode.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_00: And Omari shared with us that he really views every single person he interacts with as a little like fragment of God, a little reflection of God.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: And like when I am interacting with you, what am I learning about this piece of God that I'm interacting with?
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought that was really beautiful.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_00: And there is something magic about when you are in community and when you express what you want and you communicate what you're after, other people are going to now have that in their brain and they're going to start connecting dots on your behalf.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that magic happens with human interaction, with collaboration.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds so obvious to say this, but I think, you know, we've mentioned, I've mentioned the Surgeon General report that came out last year.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: Loneliness is an epidemic.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's worse than smoking like three packs of cigarettes a day.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of people are working remotely or they're in online spaces and they've really lost that social connection.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, that also meant like a connection with like play and joy.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: So these things may sound really simple and basic.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like we say this every episode, but really don't overlook this element of chasing joy and community and relationships because you know it's helped Mariah's physical business.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's helped my personal life and my actual career and business.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's one other point I want to reflect back here that Mariah hasn't touched on her main business, the SEO business.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've watched you in the last year really ask yourself, what about this business brings me joy?
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: What about it do I hate?
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_00: And you've really stepped in to the pieces.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you love educating, you love consulting.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_00: You, you always, you know, you wanted to speak on panels, you wanted to speak, like do a keynote.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_00: And you were kind of afraid last year, like, I want to step into this, but I'm not sure if there's enough space in the SEO world.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think the only way to grow an SEO business is with an agency, but I really don't feel like that's what I want.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: And in this year, you've let yourself know I'm an educator, I'm a consultant, I'm not gonna do the production SEO stuff.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'll train your team, but that's not what I'm doing.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_00: And now, correct me if I'm wrong, your business is more successful than ever.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_00: You're hitting income goals that you've never hit before, and you're building the reputation for yourself in this space, like exactly what you wanted.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_00: You've spoken in front of audiences, like take us through the evolution of Mariah magazine.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's funny because it's like I think, like I've I've known, I've been saying for a while, like I'm an educator, I'm a consultant, but I also couldn't see the forest through the trees.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_01: How am I going to make the money that I want to make, make the impact that I want to make while only doing those things?
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_01: I just didn't know.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I don't want to only do like one-on-one consulting sessions forever and that type of thing.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then, so when I moved back to Buffalo, one of the things that was important to me was to get involved in local networking.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: Even though I fucking hated the idea.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, let me tell you, I have avoided in-person networking for the past seven years of my business.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_01: I have not done in-person networking since 2017 when I went to like a small business meetup.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was the very first teaching workshop that I ever did about SEO when I was still a website designer.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I didn't even feel knowledgeable enough to be teaching on this.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember like talking about SEO and literally like I joke around it, like I black out.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't even remember what the fuck I said.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_01: I was sweating.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: After I was done, I literally came back to like came back into my body, stopped disassociating.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, did all of that make sense?
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because I have no idea what I said.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_01: And everybody was like, oh my God, that was incredible.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: That scared the living fucking daylights out of me.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, never again am I doing this.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so probably about a year ago, I kind of was like, fuck, I'm I want to speak.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_01: I want to speak.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_01: I want to speak on panels, but I can't just pitch myself.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_01: I know me.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: I have to take gradual baby steps.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: And when I think that I have to go from like nothing to keynote speaker, it's I'm sweating.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm my hair is turning gray.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's not gonna fucking happen.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm like, okay, well, what baby step makes sense?
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I reminded myself of like the business that I've built.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: I have taught over 50 plus workshops.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_01: I have been interviewed on dozens and dozens and dozens of podcasts.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: I have a YouTube channel that's pretty successful.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like I am used to using my voice and explaining things.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: I have more credibility and experience with this than I'm giving myself credit for.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_01: But the issue is that like speaking online when I'm sitting in pajamas in my own office, talking to a fucking camera, is not the same as speaking in person where I feel like you're basically standing up there naked.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: It felt completely different to me.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, you know what?
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna push myself out of a comfort zone.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna join a local networking meeting.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna start getting more experience in person.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny, it was similar to you bartending when you're like, oh my god, actually, it wasn't that similar.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was like the opposite.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: So you're chatting with people and you're just like, oh my God, I love this.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_01: I went to the first networking meeting and I was like, I'm burning it all down.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_01: This is fucking awful.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_01: I feel so uncomfortable.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: I hate everything about this.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because then I come back home after the networking event, and it's like a networking group.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: So they meet every single month.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so you can buy a membership to meet every month.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I come home and I'm talking to Andrew, and he was like, Oh, babe, like, how was it?
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, fucking awful.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_01: I hated it.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was so uncomfortable.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't want he was like, I just kept bitching about it.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so he was like, Well, you never have to do it again.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, No, I signed a contract for a year, I'm gonna go every month for a year.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, uh, A plus B doesn't equal C here, girl.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, my question, why did I feel so uncomfortable?
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_01: I am pretty pretty personable.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty good at communication.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty curious.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I'm I can be a people person.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm also like a cancer son.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: So like I could I could get pretty crabby and like want to head home and stay away from everybody.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel like when I turn it on, I can turn it on.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: I can be charming and funny and witty and whatever.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, why did I feel so uncomfortable?
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't like that.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, and if I want to be a speaker, I have to be able to hang out with people.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: I have to be approachable.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was kind of like an invitation that I made to myself of like, no, you gotta go and you have to make the uncomfortable comfortable.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so then the next meeting that I went to, awful.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't like it.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_01: Why the fuck did I do this?
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_01: The meeting after that.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_01: So another thing, the requirement that I actually like in this networking group is that you have to have a one-on-one meeting with at least one person a month.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_01: I like that because what did that do?
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: It allowed me to thrive where I'm more comfortable, have one-on-one conversations with people where I can get curious and find out about their genius.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like our podcast interviews.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like for some reason, a group of 60 people, I don't feel that direct connection.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's tough for me to read the energy in the room.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_01: I can't pick up on what you're thinking, on what you're feeling.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard for me to read.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was the building of the one-on-one connections that actually I just went to a networking meeting this past Monday evening.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it's been, I think I joined in April and it's November now.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: I had so much fun.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_01: I was kicking back, giggling, laughing, making dumb jokes about dumb shit.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like we were all laughing.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, this is fucking cool.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_01: But I would have never allowed myself to step into that.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so during this networking meeting, a big reason why I joined two is that during every meeting, they give you the microphone and you have to introduce yourself on the microphone in front of everybody for 30 seconds.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: Nowhere else have I had the opportunity to put a microphone up to my face and test out getting comfortable just standing there in front of people.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so I still get a little nervous, but I was like getting better at it.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then I got like a 10-minute slot to do like a 10-minute workshop in this networking meeting in front of people that I now felt decently comfortable around, fucking nailed it.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_01: And after it, you know, I was a little nervous at first.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_01: After I got this feeling of like, I need more of this.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: This is where I'm meant to be.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it feels awkward and weird, but like I need more of this.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then um what came out was a like an application for a speaker for an event outside of Toronto, so in Canada, where it's like two hours away from me.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I pitched myself as a panel expert because I was like, okay, so I did the little workshop type thing in front of people I felt comfortable with, but can I be on stage in front of 140 people speaking, answering questions?
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_01: In my head, I was like, of course I can.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_01: QA is my favorite thing ever.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I wanted to pitch like a panel thing.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't feel comfortable picking like a full time slot for me to teach or for me to speak because I don't have experience with that yet.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I fucking killed it and I'm obsessed with it.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_01: And it was literally like one of the best experiences that I've had in a really long time.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it was interesting because, like, I think we've talked about jealousy before on the podcast.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_01: And jealousy gets like real bad, like fucking shame around it.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, I don't want to feel jealous, like I feel jealous.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then you beat yourself up for feeling jealous and whatever.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_01: But I noticed that like I'm watching these people on stage with a microphone.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt like extreme jealousy.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I want that to be me.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be up there on that stage.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be there with the microphone in my hand.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_01: I want to host something like this.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I could have let that kind of be like, well, you're not there yet, loser.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like I could have let myself like, like beat myself up about it.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: But like I'm using that as motivation of like notice where the jealousy kind of peaked up because that's what I want to move towards.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like when you look in like hindsight's 2020, of course I had to join the networking thing.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_01: Of course I had to introduce myself on a microphone.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_01: Of course I had to teach like a 10-minute workshop.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_01: Of course I have to do a panel thing.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_01: And like that has been really, really fucking cool to be able to step in to.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_01: And then also in my business, like, you know, no surprise I do YouTube videos.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_01: A huge SEO tool in my industry, SEMRush, reached out to me from my YouTube channel, hopped over to my contact page and my website, and they were like, Hey, we love what you're doing.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: We'd like you to collaborate on helping us write courses internally.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Is this a fucking joke?
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what?
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's literally like the tool that I use that I preach, that I talk about in every single aspect of things.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_01: And since then, I've been collaborating with them and helping them write and develop some of their courses internally.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_01: And like, this is like a dream opportunity for me.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_01: The fact, but I didn't know that this was possible before.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I was trying to like, oh, I want to collaborate with brands and I'm gonna cold pitch and I'm gonna do whatever.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_01: And like every time I did that, it just didn't feel right.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_01: But like, what if I just allowed myself to create videos or like to create content that I feel really lit up about that feel really fucking easy for me and let the opportunities come to me.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_01: What if that was possible?
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I want to share this because I've talked to so many people that were like, How did you get that?
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I didn't get anything.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_01: I literally just showed up as me sharing what I feel called to share in the medium, in the way that I feel called to share it.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_01: And opportunities have been coming to me.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_01: And like this year in business has hands down been the most successful year I've ever had, even before I add like working with SEMrush onto it, which is like fucking mind blowing to me.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: And like I feel like I've just been crystal clear and dude, so fucking boundaried on like which clients I'm willing to work with, what I'm not willing to work with.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_01: I have never given so many referrals.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, you're not a good fit, go over here.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, you're not a good fit, go over here, go over there.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I know it sounds lame, we've heard this a million times.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, make room for the things that you actually want.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, yeah, okay, but like girls gotta get paid.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_01: But like actually, it fucking helps a lot.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm really fucking proud of myself.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like this year to look back, like, not only is this business that I've been creating for 10 years, is it growing in the exact fucking way that I want to?
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel really lit up.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's starting to feel easy and more streamlined.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, because I put 10 years into this, and it's crazy because in the moment I'm just like, this all came out of nowhere.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_01: The fuck it did.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_01: No, it didn't.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_01: It came in for me consistently showing up, putting in the work, holding the I don't want to say holding the vision because I didn't fucking know the vision, holding the feeling of like what I wanted.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like that's where it came from.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_01: And like it's cool to be able to see that my business now feels easy and it's making more room to now help Andrew grow this business that we're creating.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like it's really fucking cool to see.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and the other thing that's kind of you mentioned vision there.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_00: I've noticed just observing you, you now have vision.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_00: You have a very clear, you told me last night you couldn't sleep last night because you're so excited about a new idea.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think by kind of stepping in and building confidence around, like, hey, I can create something that like looks like how I want it to look and maybe doesn't look like what I've seen.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now all of a sudden you the future is getting a little bit clearer for you in ways that it hasn't in the past.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of a nice reflection of like, even if you don't have the vision, take the little steps.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_00: You need trust, you know, and then when you are ready, that vision will come and you'll feel excited and creatively fulfilled again.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_00: But before, actually, I want to rewind, I'm glad you brought up jealousy.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's like one of my most favorite topics.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I just pulled up a couple of definitions because I was thinking if you guys are listening to this and you're in a place of like, yeah, shame Mariah, that all sounds great, but like, I don't know what I want.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what sounds fun.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't, for me, that's how I was.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_00: I hadn't even asked myself those questions.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_00: Jealousy is a really cool place to start.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think that jealousy gets the worst reputation.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I grew up in a Christian background, so like we were always told, like, oh, jealousy is so bad.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_00: But really, the root word of it, it comes from the word zeal, Z-E-A-L.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I just looked up that definition.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_00: Having great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause or an objective.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, what when you say you're jealous, what you're actually jealous or envious of is someone else's zeal, someone else's enthusiasm for their goals in life, which is awesome.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_00: And the other thing that popped up when I was looking at definitions was jealousy is we think it's a reflection of someone else, but really it's more of a relationship with yourself kind of thing.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_00: So when I notice myself being feeling jealous, I'm like, oh, this is showing me what I want.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_00: That you want to know what you want?
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you feel jealous?
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you like, oh, I that's I want to do something like that.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's so cool that she's doing that.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of taking it to a negative place, which you certainly could, a victim place, she has it and I don't.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, how can you take it to a positive place?
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, there's something deep within me that really likes that zeal.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_00: How can I get some of that zeal in my life, you know?
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that if you are in a place where you're kind of like, I'm low, I don't know what this really looks like for me, and I'm having trouble seeing possibilities, it may sound counterintuitive, but pay attention for when that jealousy monster, quote unquote, pops up, and that'll give you some really good insights.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that that's really, really helpful.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, that's really helpful too.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: And then also just like remembering how powerful joy is.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I had a conversation.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I told you this about a conversation that I had with Andrew.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how me and him got into the conversation, but he ended up looking at me a couple weeks ago and he was like, Do you know what I love about you?
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, What?
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, because he isn't the most um, I don't know, he's very kind-hearted, but he's not the most like gushy.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this is not a weekly thing that we talk about about how many things he loves about me.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_01: So it felt a little random because he was listening to some podcasts, and I think he was listening to a guy talk about like what he loves about his wife.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so Andrew was like, you know what I love about you?
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, the fact that I'm literally fucking great.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_01: And he was he's like eye rolling, and he was like, uh, the fact that you're just like so joyful, you are just so joyful.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, and I feel like sometimes I can get caught in like this really serious or like neutral spot, and he was like, but you just like have so much joy, and I just really love that about you.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh, thank you.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm like sitting with it, and I was like, wait, so like you don't love that, like I cook amazing dinners, and like you don't love that I'm just like the cutest thing in the world, and like you don't love that I'm like hilarious and misses worldwide, and yeah, you don't love the fact that like, you know, I have 16,000 subscribers on YouTube, and like, do you know what I mean?
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_01: Just like all this like other shit, like joking around in my head, I'm like, he literally loves the fact that like I'm just full of joy.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_01: Not every day, of course, but like I do notice when I don't feel joyful, that really, really, really affects him.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_01: And like he's always like, hey, like basically, like, hey, how can I make you feel joyful?
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, little, what what do you need here?
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_01: But like, not in like a he needs to fix me type way, but like he just wants to be supportive because like he feels how big of a difference somebody being joyful can make in a situation, even if we're not talking.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_01: I just never considered that like a thing that I can be proud of.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_01: That wasn't a thing that I mastered.
• 1:03:50
  SPEAKER_01: That wasn't a thing that like was developed from from my strategic thinking and like my productivity and my creativity.
• 1:03:58
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't anything that I did, it's simply who I am, and I can just like I remember me and you talking about it.
• 1:04:05
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, so I could just be joyful, and that's good enough.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_01: I could just sit in joy and be happy about my morning coffee and just be like, oh my god, I love this, and just like feel grateful.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_01: Literally, just me feeling grateful is enough.
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that, like, we've just never had a conversation like that.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like that was a huge light bulb moment for me, and so it just allowed me to kind of sit with like, well, yeah, that is a really cool part of myself that I really enjoy.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_01: And like, how can I step deeper into that?
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad that you shared this story, and I think it's like an awesome way to kind of wrap up this conversation around joy.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_00: I've actually shared this example with some of my other close friends.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_00: What really stuck struck me when you shared this with me was this idea of like, oh, I can be joyful and it's enough.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's really all I have to be is joy, and people find value in that and they want to be around me because I am joyful.
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that honestly, for me, has been the biggest light bulb moment.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_00: I've been asking myself, like, that's it.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what do I need to do to like tap into my joy, even when things are hard, you guys?
• 1:05:17
  SPEAKER_00: Trust me, I have shit going on.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_00: Even when things are hard.
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_00: How can you be the joy?
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_00: I have always felt like that about myself.
• 1:05:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm just kind of a naturally happy, joyful person.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I people are always like, you're always smiling.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've always had coworkers reflect that to me.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_00: And like after I went through a heavy season, I felt almost irresponsible being joyful and letting that joy come out.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_00: It felt very almost rude in a heavy time.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_00: But that's actually the medicine that I offer this world is this ability to feel joy and spread joy and let other people tap into that.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you said, like, oh, maybe me pursuing joy is enough, that was like the light bulb.
• 1:05:58
  SPEAKER_00: I would, and so since Then I've just been like unapologetically pursuing joy.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_00: How can I be joy?
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_00: How can I help other people tap into their joy?
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is something that is making me glow as we have reflected.
• 1:06:11
  SPEAKER_00: So it's if that is resonating with you, like what would that look like for you to kind of pick that up and embrace that a little bit more?
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I think it's a really beautiful idea.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to make a caveat here.
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_01: This does not mean like toxic positivity.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_01: This does not mean like fucking blanket statement, like, I feel great when you're fucking burning on the inside.
• 1:06:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's not what it is.
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's more so of like feel your feelings.
• 1:06:39
  SPEAKER_01: Allow yourself to sit with yourself and to feel grief and sadness.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like that is part of the experience.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_01: Not saying that, like, I never feel those things, or I'm not saying that like those are bad or anything like that.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's more so of like an invitation of a lens that you can look at experiences through.
• 1:07:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's not to undermine the other tough emotions that we feel as humans.
• 1:07:11
  SPEAKER_01: But I find myself that like I can have a really shitty day.
• 1:07:15
  SPEAKER_01: And if I'm not careful, that shitty day can turn into three shitty days, which can turn into seven shitty days.
• 1:07:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then a fight with your partner.
• 1:07:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then a fight.
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's like, I don't want to be this person.
• 1:07:29
  SPEAKER_01: This is not like who I am at my core.
• 1:07:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's kind of fucking a dude.
• 1:07:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like everything, a lens to like be curious about where are your levels of joy?
• 1:07:41
  SPEAKER_01: What are things you know what I mean?
• 1:07:42
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, I just wanted to make a caveat there of like, we're not saying that like you can't feel the harder feelings.
• 1:07:49
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe joy is hard.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe that is a hard feeling for you.
• 1:07:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's certainly true.
• 1:07:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I I think it's probably hard for a lot of us to uh let ourselves be in joy and be in play because we feel like we're adults and we have all of this heavy responsibility.
• 1:08:06
  SPEAKER_00: And if I am joyful, that means I'm being irresponsible.
• 1:08:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think we have a lot of story there.
• 1:08:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but for me lately, like the salvation has come through throwing all that out the window and listening to myself, where is the joy right now?
• 1:08:20
  SPEAKER_00: And like just pursuing that.
• 1:08:21
  SPEAKER_00: And even if if that looks like just 30 minutes a week for you that you're setting aside, like just try to find something and let yourself explore this idea.
• 1:08:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think, especially, you know, we're shooting this around the election season.
• 1:08:34
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of us are really bogged down in the heaviness of all of this.
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the heaviness is going to be there, you guys, no matter what, no matter who's in office, always.
• 1:08:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, how can we tap into joy that we have, the wonderful part of this life and help share that with other people?
• 1:08:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's really powerful.
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said, there's so much power, unclaimed power in that.
• 1:08:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:54
  SPEAKER_01: And like it comes back, like just thinking of like who you were before you had to grow up.
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you look at a child, fucking pure joy, dude.
• 1:09:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like a bunch of my friends are are having kids now.
• 1:09:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like looking around and like, you know, we don't have our own kids yet, but I'm just looking around, I'm like, fucked.
• 1:09:13
  SPEAKER_01: They literally you smile at them and they just smile, like it's so contagious.
• 1:09:18
  SPEAKER_01: And like when when I'm at a grocery store and I see a little kid like with their parents or whatever, you just smile at the baby and like they feel that energy, and then they light up and you're like, oh my God, like what what a beautiful moment.
• 1:09:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, what that's a really good example of like how fucking contagious this can be.
• 1:09:33
  SPEAKER_01: And like, think about the people that you enjoy spending time around.
• 1:09:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't enjoy spending time around certain people because they have very little pockets of joy.
• 1:09:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying that they don't have any, but it can feel very minimal sometimes.
• 1:09:47
  SPEAKER_00: They suck all the joy out of you.
• 1:09:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so just think about it.
• 1:09:52
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean in terms of like what are you attracted to, in terms of like who you want to be around and stuff like that?
• 1:09:57
  SPEAKER_00: And who are you surrounding yourself with, both in terms of people, but also the inputs, you know, what are you consuming media-wise?
• 1:10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, just be aware of all of that.
• 1:10:04
  SPEAKER_00: It certainly impacts it.
• 1:10:06
  SPEAKER_01: For sure, for sure.
• 1:10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, honestly, I think that they this episode was cool because it brought up a lot of topics that we'll talk about.
• 1:10:14
  SPEAKER_00: One of our other uh interviews this week, he talks or this season uh talks about the idea of surrounding yourself with fountains and not drains.
• 1:10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's very related to this.
• 1:10:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you are gonna invest in nurturing and cultivating your joy, there's a lot of filling your own cup up and realizing where the leaks are and the drains.
• 1:10:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, this intro was cool.
• 1:10:36
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you guys are feeling a little more up to speed.
• 1:10:38
  SPEAKER_00: We've kind of previewed a few of the topics that we'll bring up with guests this season, but this season is really gonna be a little bit more focused on connecting with that magical side, the spiritual side, the joy, and uh how we're actually walking the walk.
• 1:10:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, with that, I think we're gonna close the episode down.
• 1:10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Is there anything else you want to share, Mariah?
• 1:10:56
  SPEAKER_01: No, I feel pretty complete.
• 1:10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 1:10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, remember, friends, you have the power to create whatever the fuck you want.
• 1:11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Follow the nudge, ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 1:11:07
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you in the next episode.