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Transcript

The Original Little Mermaid, Part 2 · Stories for Robots

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Griffin: Welcome back to Stories for Robots.
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I'm Griffin Schwed, your host and storyteller.
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Join me as I share some of humanity's most timeless tales with two silly robots who
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are trying to understand human culture by exploring fairy tales, folklore, and
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historical events from around the world.
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In season one, we're diving into stories you know, or at least you think you do.
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We're going back to the original versions of classic tales made
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famous by animated movies.
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But these original stories are pretty different from the
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versions you grew up with.
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Last time, we heard part one of the real story of "The Little Mermaid."
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If you missed that episode, pause this, go back, and check it out.
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Spark: Seriously, or else you're gonna miss, like, the whole mermaid part.
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Vector: True dat.
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Spark: Oh, in case anyone listening, like, kinda forgot what
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happened last time, I'll tell you.
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So, the Little Mermaid is super pretty and a super good singer, but she falls
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in love with a human prince, so she's like, " OMG, I have to go up to the human
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world." So she makes a deal with an evil sea witch to get some sweet, sweet legs.
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But in exchange, it hurts a lot when she walks, and she can't talk anymore.
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When we left off, she was just leaving the mermaid world behind
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and swimming up to the prince's palace with her magic leg potion.
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Griffin: Awesome recap.
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So the sun isn't up yet when she reaches the palace.
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As first light begins to brighten the sky, she sits on the marble
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steps and drinks the potion.
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For a few seconds, nothing.
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Then it feels like a sword is cutting through her.
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She passes out from the pain.
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But when she wakes up, the sun is shining and the prince is standing over her.
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She looks down.
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She has legs.
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Beautiful, delicate legs.
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Oh, and she's completely naked and has to wrap herself in her long hair.
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Spark: Awkward.
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Vector: Good for her.
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I never really understood pants.
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Who needs them?
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Griffin: The prince asks, "Who are you? Where did you come from?"
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She can't answer, obviously.
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She just looks at him with her deep blue eyes.
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He helps her stand and, well, every single step is like walking
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on knives, just like the witch said, but she doesn't let it show.
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The prince takes her to the palace.
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He gives her fabulous clothes.
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Everyone is amazed by her beauty and grace.
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She's the loveliest person they've ever seen.
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There's only one problem.
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She's completely silent.
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That night at dinner, the Little Mermaid dances.
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It's her only real way of expressing herself, and she's enchanting
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despite the pain in her feet.
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The prince is totally charmed, but unfortunately, the feelings he develops
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for her are not the kind she's hoping for.
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Spark: Oh, no, what are we talking about here?
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Griffin: Well, for one thing, he begins calling her his foundling.
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Vector: What is a foundling?
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Griffin: It means someone you found and took in, maybe like
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a stray puppy or something.
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Vector: This is an accurate descriptor for her.
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This seems good and acceptable.
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Spark: Oh, Vector, you don't understand.
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That's like a nickname you might give your annoying little sister or a pet
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dog, not someone you might wanna marry.
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Griffin: And it gets worse.
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He says he wants her to stay with him forever.
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Spark: Aww.
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Griffin: But she only gets permission to sleep outside his door on a pillow.
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Vector: The arrangement seems comfortable and practical.
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I do not understand the issue.
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Griffin: Despite everything, the little mermaid is happy with the prince.
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Together, they explore the countryside on horseback, riding through
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forests and climbing mountains.
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They pass many happy hours together each day, and she sees the wonders of
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land she had dreamed of her entire life.
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She is enchanted by the smell of the woods, the feeling of gentle
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breeze and sunlight on her skin.
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One day, after the little mermaid and the prince return from their
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adventures, she goes to the marble steps leading down to the sea and cools
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her burning feet in the cold water.
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That's when she sees her sisters in the waves.
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They tell her how sad everyone is and how much they miss their little sister.
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From then on, they visit every night.
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This goes on for some time, and as the little mermaid falls more
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deeply in love with the prince, he grows fonder of her too.
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But as you've already pointed out, he loves her in the way you might love a
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sweet, good child, like a little sister.
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Spark: Oh no, she's in the friend zone.
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Vector: The friend zone sounds like an excellent zone for humans.
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Humans love friends.
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Spark: But Vector, she doesn't want to be his friend.
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She wants to be his wife.
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She needs him to put a ring on it or she will literally turn into seafoam.
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No soul, no hunky husband, nothing.
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Griffin: Yep.
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One day the prince tells her, " You're so dear to me.
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You have the kindest heart.
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You're devoted to me, and you know what?
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You remind me of a young woman I saw once.
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I was in a shipwreck and she saved my life.
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She's the only one I could ever love, and you almost look like her."
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Spark: This man is dense.
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But also, girl, why can't you just write it down?
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I'm the one who saved you.
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I love you.
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Draw a picture or something.
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Griffin: Now that's a good question.
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It does seem like that would solve everything.
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Maybe mermaids don't know how to write?
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But in any case, in this story, she's stuck trying to communicate with
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the prince with her expressive eyes.
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And the prince is not getting the message.
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One day, not long after the prince confesses his love for the mystery
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girl, the king and queen announce it's time for the prince to get married.
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They've arranged for him to meet the neighboring kingdom's princess.
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The prince tells the little mermaid, " I have to go meet her,
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but they can't make me marry her.
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I can't possibly love her.
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She won't look like the temple girl.
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You look more like her.
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If I had to choose, I'd choose you."
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Vector: Understood.
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In human culture, if you can't marry the person you actually love,
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it is desirable to marry someone who kinda looks like that person.
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Spark: Nope, that is very odd.
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Griffin: Yeah, that's not at all normal.
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In any case, they sail together to the neighboring kingdom.
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It's a long journey, and the prince and the little mermaid
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spend a lot of time together.
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He's tender towards her, kissing her forehead and playing with her hair.
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She dreams of a future where they're together, happy as husband and wife.
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When they arrive and the princess appears, the little mermaid has to
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admit she's absolutely gorgeous.
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And then the prince gasps.
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"It's you," he cries.
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"You're the one who saved me from drowning. You're
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the girl from the temple."
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Spark: Nooo.
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Griffin: The princess explains that she was at the temple for
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her education, but now she's back.
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The prince is overjoyed.
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He tells the little mermaid, "I'm the happiest man alive. We'll be married at
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once, and I know you'll be happy for me because you care for me more than anyone."
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Spark: I'm sorry, the nerve of this guy.
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He does not deserve her.
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Griffin: Yeah, but the little mermaid isn't bitter.
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She kisses his hand even as she can feel her heart breaking.
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She knows she'll never marry the prince, which means that very
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soon she'll turn into seafoam.
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Well, the prince and the princess arrange to get married
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right away, like immediately.
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And the next thing the little mermaid knows, she's the maid of honor holding
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the bride's train during the ceremony.
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Vector: Wait.
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Griffin: Yes, Vector?
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Vector: A train would be too large and heavy for a notably
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small mermaid to carry.
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Griffin: Oh, yeah, not that kind of train.
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A bride's train is just part of her dress.
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It drags behind her when she walks, so the little mermaid is
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just holding it up off the floor.
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Vector: I knew that.
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Continue.
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Griffin: Anyway, that night, the wedding party is on a ship.
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It's a lot like the first night she saw the prince, with fireworks
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and music all night long.
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And despite the horrible feeling that it's her last night alive,
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the little mermaid dances while the prince and princess watch admiringly.
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Spark: Um, doesn't he know that she sacrificed everything for him?
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Her family, her voice, her tongue, her beautiful tail?
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This man is clueless and he does not deserve her.
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Griffin: It's true.
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But in this moment, the little mermaid feels nothing but love
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and tenderness towards him.
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Despite her disappointment, both at losing the prince and missing her chance
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to have a soul, she feels at peace.
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Finally, the prince and his bride head to their tent.
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The party ends.
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The ship goes quiet.
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The little mermaid leans on the railing, looking east at the lightening sky.
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She knows that at sunrise, in just a few minutes, she'll turn
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into seafoam and be gone forever.
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Then she sees a ripple in the water.
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It's her sisters, and they're completely bald.
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Vector: Smart, a bald, shiny dome allows for faster swimming.
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Spark: Wait, what?
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Why?
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Griffin: The eldest calls out, "We're here to save you.
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We sold our hair to the Sea Witch.
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She gave us this magic knife.
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Before the sun rises, you have to stab the prince.
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Once you do that, you'll turn back into a mermaid, and you can come home.
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Hurry.
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Either he dies or you die.
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Look, the sky is getting light.
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Hurry."
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They toss her the knife and disappear.
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Vector: For all that hair, it seems like they could have secured better terms,
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perhaps a deal involving less murder.
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Why did they do that?
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Griffin: Well, her sisters still love her.
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They want to save her life and bring her home, even if it means making another
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terrible deal with the Sea Witch.
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Spark: What's she gonna do?
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She's not a murderer.
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She can't kill him, can she?
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Griffin: Let's find out.
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So the little mermaid holds the knife.
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She pulls back the tent curtain.
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The prince and princess are sleeping, his head on her shoulder.
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The little mermaid's hand shakes.
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She looks at the prince, who whispers his bride's name in his sleep.
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She kisses his forehead.
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She looks at the sky getting brighter and holds the knife in her trembling hand.
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Finally, she raises the knife high into the air and throws it into the ocean.
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It's over.
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She would never kill the prince, even to save herself.
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But before the sun comes up and she turns into seafoam, she wants to feel the cool
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ocean water on her skin one last time.
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So she takes a final look at the prince and jumps overboard into the sea.
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Spark: Um,
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Vector: Thoughtful not to get sea foam all over the party boat.
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Griffin: Hold on.
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She starts to feel her body dissolving into sea foam.
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But then something strange happens.
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The sun rises, but she doesn't feel dead.
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She looks up and sees hundreds of transparent, beautiful
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beings floating in the air.
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She realizes she's like them now, transparent and floating.
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" What's happening?
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Who are you?" she asks.
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And she has a voice.
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Not like her old one, but it's beautiful, almost like an angel.
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Vector: That makes a lot of sense.
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And by a lot of sense, I mean no sense at all.
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Spark: Yeah buddy, is she dead or not dead?
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Griffin: Good questions.
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She's not exactly dead, but she's not exactly alive either.
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She's become something new, a spirit.
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Let me let them explain.
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"We are the daughters of the air," they answer.
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"We came to save you.
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You see, mermaids don't have souls, and neither do we.
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But we can earn souls by doing good deeds.
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We think you deserve to earn one too.
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Here's the deal.
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We do nice stuff like cooling down the air in really hot countries and spreading
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flower perfume to help people heal.
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And then after three hundred years of doing nice things like that,
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we get souls and go to heaven."
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Vector: Question: How important is flower perfume to global
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human health and happiness?
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Griffin: Yeah, it wouldn't be my top issue, but I feel like their little
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fairy hearts are in the right place.
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Spark: Okay, but wait, just confirming, she's not dead, right?
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Griffin: Not dead, but also not alive.
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She's a spirit, kinda like a friendly ghost who has the chance to earn a soul.
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Spark: Got it.
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Griffin: Good, because it's a little confusing.
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The Little Mermaid looks down at the ship.
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The prince and princess are staring sadly at the sea.
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It's almost as if they know she jumped overboard.
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The Little Mermaid floats over to the pair, kisses the bride's forehead,
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smiles at the prince, and rises with the other spirits into the clouds.
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" Three hundred years and we'll be in heaven," the Little Mermaid says with
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tears of joy and relief in her eyes.
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"Maybe sooner," a companion whispers.
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" When we fly invisibly through human homes and see good children
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who make their parents happy, our time gets shortened by a year.
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But when we see bad children, we cry, and every tear adds a
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day to our three hundred years."
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The end.
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Spark: Wait, what?
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Really?
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So she just becomes an air fairy and gets a soul after three
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hundred years of random good deeds?
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Griffin: Well, yeah.
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Spark: I don't really know how I feel about that.
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Like, was that a happy ending?
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She doesn't get to be with the prince, but she does get to earn a soul,
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which is what she really wanted.
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So, like, kinda happy ending?
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Griffin: Spark, I think you're onto something.
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It's not really a happy ending, but it's not exactly tragic either.
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Remember how I said Andersen felt like an outsider?
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He actually experienced the pain of loving someone who didn't love him back.
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Some people think the Little Mermaid is meant to be him, voiceless and
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super sad, watching the person she loves choose someone else,
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and then finding meaning anyway.
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Vector: The most important information is that children must be good
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or the air fairies will be sad.
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Griffin: I'm not sure that's the main lesson, but I bet little Hans
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thought parents would appreciate that.
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Spark: Well, I'm happy for the Little Mermaid.
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The prince didn't deserve her anyway, and now she gets to do good deeds
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and her soul lives on forever.
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Vector: And she doesn't have to deal with having a puny human body.
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Also pants.
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No more confusing pants.
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Griffin: Uh, yeah.
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Well said.
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Make sure you come back for the next episode.
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I'll be telling the absolute classic story that everybody loves, Aschenputtel.
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Spark: Huh?
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Vector: What is that?
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Griffin: That's the German name for Cinderella.
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Vector: Your German accent is terrible.
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Griffin: How do you know?
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Vector: My uncle is German.
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Griffin: That doesn't make sense.
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Whatever.
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To make sure you don't miss Cinderella like you've never heard it before,
14:13
hit follow wherever you're listening.
14:15
That way, the next episode of Stories for Robots will automatically
14:19
drop into your feed next week.
14:21
Spark: Also, please share the show with your friends.
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Vector: Yes, shout about it in public places or other normal human things.
14:29
Spark: And give us a five-star rating while you're at it.
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It helps other families find us.
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Griffin: Stories for Robots was created, performed, and
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produced by me, Griffin Schwed.
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Special thanks to Jack, Chloe, and Annie Farber for editorial
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consultation and moral support.
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If you'd like to support or learn more about the show,
14:47
visit www.storiesforrobots.com.
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Email hello@storiesforrobots.com if you have questions,
14:54
feedback, or ideas for the show.
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I'd love to hear from you.
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Vector: Griffin.
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Griffin: Yeah?
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Vector: How many mermaids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Spark: Ooh, I think I know this one.
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Vector: What one?
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I must know the answer.
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Spark: That's not a joke?
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Probably just one, Vector.
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They have hands.
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Griffin: Well, hang on.
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Are they underwater or on land?
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Vector: Underwater…
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Robot disclosure.
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My voice and Spark's voice are given a beautiful robot
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makeover using AI technology.
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That is why we sound so cool and good.
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Spark: We really do.
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Oh, and the background music was also created using AI tech.