Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Your Excuses Are Costing: You MORE Than You Think (S5) S37:E4 Tuesday
Transcript
- 0:24Well there hello everyone and welcome to the
- 0:27ever popular inspirations for your life show.
- 0:30It's great to be with you today if
- 0:33you're wondering what that is well it's a
- 0:34Tuesday I hope you guys had a wonderful
- 0:36relaxing memorial, actually Labor Day week excuse me
- 0:40always get those confused so it's Labor Day
- 0:42I was going back to school and summer
- 0:43is over it is Tuesday it is September
- 0:468th and it is 2026 and this is
- 0:49our second Tuesday of September.
- 0:52Great to be with you everyone thanks so
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- 1:59all right guys without any further ado I
- 2:01want to go ahead and kick this show
- 2:04off are you ready I know I am
- 2:06all right everyone let's get this going all
- 2:09right welcome to another episode of the ever
- 2:12popular inspirations for your life show who am
- 2:15I great question I'm John C Morley I'm
- 2:18a serial entrepreneur I'm an engineer marketing specialist
- 2:20video producer podcast host coach keynote speaker passionate
- 2:24lifelong learner a graduate student at Montclair State
- 2:27University and so grateful now to be a
- 2:29published author yes ladies gentlemen it is great
- 2:32to be with you here our master topic
- 2:34in case you missed it uh when we
- 2:36announced it on Saturday by the way we
- 2:37start on Saturday we roll all the way
- 2:39through the week and we finish up ladies
- 2:41gentlemen on a Friday Friday we go Saturday
- 2:45through Friday that's that's how we work okay
- 2:47um our master topic this week is your
- 2:51next level will demand a different you a
- 2:54different kind of you so today I'm looking
- 2:57at excuses and what they may really be
- 3:01costing us real obstacles exist the problem begins
- 3:05when an explanation for something difficult becomes permission
- 3:08to stop moving let's get into our 30
- 3:10points I know you guys are excited as
- 3:12much as I am number one guys every
- 3:15excuse has a hidden cost it does it's
- 3:17just the way it is an excuse may
- 3:19give you relief today but what does it
- 3:22cost you tomorrow time opportunity confidence relationships right
- 3:28money progress let's look beyond the immediate comfort
- 3:32okay let's do that all right number two
- 3:34stop protecting reasons you cannot begin we can
- 3:38all make excuses right but how about actually
- 3:42hunkering down and actually doing something your reason
- 3:45may be legitimate but repeatedly defending why you
- 3:49can't start won't move you forward put some
- 3:52of that energy into finding a way to
- 3:55begin and I know it's going to sound
- 3:56hard because it's not comfortable and you'd rather
- 4:01do things that are comfortable but I've told
- 4:02you before success does not lie where comfort
- 4:04is success starts where it's a painful I
- 4:08just said uncomfortable number three calculate yes calculate
- 4:15what waiting is costing you is it another
- 4:18week a month a year that's not always
- 4:23free opportunities disappear problems grow and time unfortunately
- 4:29doesn't come back now I've said this before
- 4:30ladies you know the door may appear for
- 4:32you right now and even though that door
- 4:34may appear in the future again if you
- 4:37do see the door again it's probably going
- 4:41to be locked okay the excuses can sound
- 4:47completely reasonable number four the strongest excuses often
- 4:50sound logical something can make perfect sense and
- 4:54still prevent you from moving forward and you
- 4:56know we can spend so much time saying
- 4:59you know what this is why I shouldn't
- 5:01do it this is why it's not right
- 5:03for me okay why don't we actually spend
- 5:06as much time making excuses as we could
- 5:09be doing solving the situation number five stop
- 5:14turning explanations into permanent limitations people do this
- 5:17every single day and they kick themselves in
- 5:19the foot without even knowing it an explanation
- 5:21describes what's difficult today it shouldn't automatically become
- 5:24a prediction about what's impossible tomorrow and I
- 5:28think when people think about that concept about
- 5:30you know what's impossible they're like oh my
- 5:33gosh what am I supposed to do what
- 5:34am I supposed to say all I know
- 5:36is that this is harder than I thought
- 5:37it was going to be and then you
- 5:40decide not to go anywhere and that's a
- 5:42very very big problem for a lot of
- 5:44people because they put themselves into this box
- 5:47that they really don't want to be in
- 5:48but somehow they put themselves in it number
- 5:51six your circumstances matter guys but so do
- 5:55your choices you have freedom of choice and
- 5:58circumstances absolutely matter in our life but choices
- 6:02often remain inside them an identity where your
- 6:06decisions still have influence so that's important to
- 6:09know the identity and to identify it so
- 6:12you can actually act upon it quickly number
- 6:15seven identify what you actually control in your
- 6:17world you may not control the situation but
- 6:20you can often control your preparation response effort
- 6:24learning and next move focus there okay what
- 6:30we focus on is what we bring about
- 6:32so we put our thoughts on the good
- 6:33things what we want more of that's going
- 6:35to come in our life number eight guys
- 6:37are you ready for number eight I think
- 6:38you are stop spending energy defending inaction okay
- 6:43a lot of you'll do this well you
- 6:45know the reason I'm doing this is because
- 6:47of this and this is exactly the way
- 6:49who do you have to prove it to
- 6:51who stop doing that how much energy are
- 6:55you spending explaining why something can't happen put
- 6:59some of it toward finding at least one
- 7:01possible way to move forward right some people
- 7:04just like to oh they like to just
- 7:07argue they like to spend a lot of
- 7:09time doing this and they burn their steam
- 7:11and their energy and they could have actually
- 7:13been solving the problem number nine replace these
- 7:18simple words I can't with a better question
- 7:21ask what part of this can I do
- 7:24or what would make this possible what would
- 7:28it look like when it's successful what would
- 7:31it feel like when I've accomplished this better
- 7:34questions will help your mind search for options
- 7:37and you know again it's what we're focusing
- 7:40on what we're thinking about that's bringing about
- 7:42our life if we don't understand those things
- 7:44today then we're just going to have ourselves
- 7:46going down this path that we really don't
- 7:49want to be at okay number 10 ask
- 7:52what would make progress possible hmm maybe you
- 7:58need information training help guidance time or a
- 8:05smaller first step determine what's actually missing you
- 8:09know a lot of times whether it's uh
- 8:12people that I mentor to be speakers or
- 8:14to be uh podcasts guests or uh hosts
- 8:18the concept of becoming a host a lot
- 8:22of people is very daunting so we start
- 8:24with something very simple we start with maybe
- 8:26just recording themselves in front of their iphone
- 8:29or their camera and just seeing how does
- 8:32that feel doesn't feel so bad does it
- 8:34number 11 stop waiting for ideal conditions I've
- 8:38already said this to you guys before they
- 8:41don't exist ideal conditions rarely arrive learn how
- 8:45to make responsible progress even when everything isn't
- 8:48perfectly aligned and that's not hard to do
- 8:53but so many people have gotten their let's
- 8:56say feet so deep in the ground that
- 8:59they feel they've got to argue with everything
- 9:01that they've got to figure out how to
- 9:03not make it work would it be nice
- 9:05if these people actually would say gee you
- 9:07know what I can make it work maybe
- 9:09I should actually give that a try number
- 9:1212 guys use what you already know look
- 9:16at the knowledge you have right now experience
- 9:19you possess the skills your relationships the tools
- 9:24and time you may already have enough to
- 9:29begin but you're psyching yourself out because you're
- 9:32trying to take a gigantic step when all
- 9:36we need to do is take one small
- 9:39step and again one small consistent step every
- 9:42day not a huge gigantic step and then
- 9:45the next day we don't take any I
- 9:47think that causes some people to really get
- 9:51down in the dumps like well I can't
- 9:53do this every day no one's asking you
- 9:56to just take a small step consistent progress
- 10:02every day moves mountains okay we don't get
- 10:06the success by doing everything all once as
- 10:09much as you think that's the way it
- 10:11works it doesn't work like that and the
- 10:15sooner you realize that the sooner you're gonna
- 10:16say wait a minute I can be successful
- 10:18that's right start smaller instead of starting bigger
- 10:22number 13 if the full version isn't possible
- 10:26right now why not shrink it down shrink
- 10:30the first step down maybe break the first
- 10:33step at a two or three or four
- 10:35even five small little mini steps 10 minutes
- 10:38guys beats zero right doing something for 10
- 10:44minutes beats zero so if maybe you're working
- 10:46as like oh I can't do a half
- 10:48hour I can't do an hour but you
- 10:50could do 10 minutes right 10 minutes is
- 10:53better than nothing number 14 please stop comparing
- 10:58your resources with somebody else's I know you
- 11:01might think that you have no chance because
- 11:03their resource is bigger than you but they
- 11:05had to start somewhere too you know someone
- 11:08else may have more money time or even
- 11:11experience than you do that's their starting point
- 11:15not yours learn how to work intelligently from
- 11:19yours we want to work smarter and not
- 11:22harder and as we do that we say
- 11:25wait a minute I'm actually getting this or
- 11:28this is making sense to me right but
- 11:30we have to first believe in that step
- 11:33and we have to take a step that
- 11:35we believe we can take right number 15
- 11:39guys work around your limitations intelligently adjust the
- 11:46schedule you have change the methods learn something
- 11:50new ask for help a limitation doesn't always
- 11:53require surrender so um you know whether it's
- 11:58learning whether it's a relationship whether it's volunteering
- 12:01whether it's anything you know we don't achieve
- 12:07success on our own this is something I
- 12:09learned a long time ago success is really
- 12:16possible because of teams now maybe you're saying
- 12:18John the team isn't present but yeah maybe
- 12:20you do have a team in some parts
- 12:21and teams help you become successful a lot
- 12:26quicker than you would on your own so
- 12:28there's nothing wrong in having a team remember
- 12:32there is no i in t-e-a
- 12:35-m a team is not a group a
- 12:38team is a team when you play baseball
- 12:41you play football you play soccer lacrosse or
- 12:45a number of other sports you're part of
- 12:48a team and when we have team captains
- 12:51and they have these big egos and they
- 12:52don't want to pass the ball or they
- 12:54don't want to give a beginning player a
- 12:56chance that's not really meeting with team spirit
- 13:00right a team works with each other a
- 13:04team gives each other opportunities a team helps
- 13:09people when they're not able to do something
- 13:13they motivate them they help them do what
- 13:17they need to do and they want them
- 13:19to learn number 16 guys don't confuse difficulty
- 13:23with impossibility I think no matter where you
- 13:28are in life the word impossible comes up
- 13:32instead of the word maybe improbable improbable means
- 13:36it's not likely but it still can happen
- 13:38impossible is like you shut the door like
- 13:40there's no way that you're going to get
- 13:43right so we just got to think a
- 13:46little bit different we got to think a
- 13:47little more strategically and when we do this
- 13:49guess what happens we see something from a
- 13:53different perspective and we even make some small
- 13:58steps those small steps eventually will get us
- 14:01to our success so difficult means something requires
- 14:07effort and adaptation impossible means it cannot be
- 14:11done all know the difference again difficult difficult
- 14:14needs effort right needs some type of effort
- 14:18maybe it's a person maybe it's more knowledge
- 14:20maybe it's more financial resources impossible means it
- 14:24cannot be done at all right so if
- 14:28you had the money and you had the
- 14:31skills could you do it yeah so it's
- 14:34not impossible it's just difficult and difficult is
- 14:39something we can use our mind to brainstorm
- 14:42to get creative to find solutions for all
- 14:45right number 17 this is an important one
- 14:49stop collecting reasons to quit you even start
- 14:55maybe five minutes you're like oh how do
- 14:57I get out of this how do I
- 14:58stop when you're discouraged every setback can look
- 15:04like evidence to stop right now start looking
- 15:07for evidence that continuing is possible and actually
- 15:12rewarding I know you're going to say John
- 15:14I want to give up because it's too
- 15:16hard because it's uncomfortable those are the words
- 15:21and a lot of people want to bow
- 15:23out when they hear it's going to be
- 15:24uncomfortable but you know what's on the other
- 15:27side of uncomfortability success number 18 find evidence
- 15:34that progress is possible once you do that
- 15:39your life really changes quite a bit you've
- 15:43learned before haven't you right you've done difficult
- 15:47things before you've adapted before you've solved problems
- 15:50before I'm sure you have let those experiences
- 15:54speak for themselves to remind you that you
- 15:57have made progress in the past and you
- 16:00can make progress again in the future right
- 16:04think about something right now that you didn't
- 16:07think you ever could do but you got
- 16:10it done right what was it I remember
- 16:13uh when I started out to being a
- 16:16um a cub scout and then I went
- 16:20on to become um basically a uh we
- 16:25blow then I became a scout and then
- 16:27I worked my way up to become an
- 16:29eagle scout something that wasn't easy it was
- 16:32difficult it was uncomfortable but I'm so glad
- 16:36that I stuck with it and then I
- 16:38became an eagle scout an eagle scout just
- 16:40like your education is something you have for
- 16:43life no one can ever take it away
- 16:44from you number 19 number 19 is a
- 16:48real important one I ask you ladies gentlemen
- 16:51to take responsibility without attacking yourself all right
- 16:55that's a that's a big one there John
- 16:56I know so let me try to break
- 16:59it down accountability isn't about beating yourself up
- 17:02the nuns most people think it is but
- 17:05it's not admit what you could have done
- 17:07differently learn from it and use that knowledge
- 17:10to move forward with it right when something
- 17:14goes wrong in your life and you had
- 17:16a bad experience don't think about the experience
- 17:19and how you feel just keep the lesson
- 17:23and throw everything else out okay I don't
- 17:27want you to relive the whole emotional experience
- 17:29and it was a bad one I just
- 17:31want you to keep the lesson all right
- 17:33number 20 guys excuses protect comfort more than
- 17:37potential and people we've learned in life want
- 17:39to be comfortable an excuse may protect you
- 17:42from rejection uncertainty hard work or even change
- 17:46but protecting yourself from discomfort can also protect
- 17:50you from growth that's a mouthful and why
- 17:57is it people don't want to trudge through
- 18:01a little bit of cold water dive into
- 18:03the pool right well I'm gonna dip my
- 18:06toe when it feels a little too cold
- 18:07just get in right just get into the
- 18:11water number 21 your future pays for today's
- 18:18delays procrastination sends the bill forward missed opportunities
- 18:23weaker preparation and growing problems may eventually become
- 18:28your future's responsibility number 22 please stop letting
- 18:35temporary obstacles become permanent identities I'll give you
- 18:39an example so you're on the road right
- 18:41and there is a roadblock there's a detour
- 18:45okay let's figure out how to go around
- 18:48it might not be comfortable your GPS might
- 18:50not know the way I was on one
- 18:51the other day where a road was closed
- 18:53and then I got to the other end
- 18:54and I was like there's a cop and
- 18:56like okay now what do I do I
- 18:57was it was closed two times we'll just
- 18:59go to the end make a left and
- 19:00guess what I learned another way to get
- 19:02somewhere that my GPS didn't know and that
- 19:05I can use if there's bad traffic in
- 19:07the future so that was a positive thing
- 19:09number 22 as we know this struggling today
- 19:14doesn't mean you're permanently incapable you may simply
- 19:18be learning don't turn a temporary problem into
- 19:21who you believe you are and I think
- 19:23that's what causes people to stop there was
- 19:28a story many years ago about an elephant
- 19:31a very baby elephant and this baby elephant
- 19:34was tied to a stake when it was
- 19:36really little and a few months later the
- 19:40elephant tried couldn't break free of this of
- 19:42the stake and longer tried a year went
- 19:47by tried and then you know what after
- 19:49that the elephant never tried again the elephant
- 19:52got very big but it basically reprogrammed its
- 19:58mind to think that it wasn't strong enough
- 20:00the elephant could have stopped that state and
- 20:03got out but because of the mindset the
- 20:06elephant got programmed into it never tried again
- 20:10that happens to us in life we might
- 20:13have not been good at something in the
- 20:14beginning but now with our skills and our
- 20:17experience we can try again and we can
- 20:19crush it number 23 be resourceful before asking
- 20:23for perfect circumstances ask what can I do
- 20:28with what I have right now seek better
- 20:31resources but don't remain stationary while waiting for
- 20:34them that's important guys number 24 progress doesn't
- 20:39require permission many people think it does those
- 20:42are the ones that are left behind you
- 20:44don't need everyone to understand or approve your
- 20:47goal before you're gonna be responsibly moving forward
- 20:52or working toward it no don't worry about
- 20:55what other people think number 25 make the
- 20:58next move available to you you don't need
- 21:02step 10 yet make the call ask the
- 21:05question open the document learn the skill take
- 21:08whatever the next move is available right now
- 21:12number 26 stop arguing for your limitations when
- 21:16someone offers a possible solution notice whether you
- 21:19immediately explain why it won't work don't become
- 21:21more committed to defending the limitation than solving
- 21:25it number 27 your reasons may be real
- 21:30and still need a solution that's okay you
- 21:33may genuinely lack time money knowledge or the
- 21:38resources that's real okay but if the problem
- 21:41matters you still need to ask what can
- 21:44be done about it right now number 28
- 21:47accountability gives us all leverage when you identify
- 21:52something you can influence you gain leverage accountability
- 21:56isn't punishment guys it's discovering where your power
- 22:00still exists number 29 the longer you wait
- 22:03the more expensive some changes become problems compound
- 22:07opportunities disappear have it strengthened skills take time
- 22:11to develop don't assume tomorrow's price will be
- 22:14the same as today's i think that's a
- 22:18misconception that so many people have and then
- 22:19they're like kicking themselves well why is it
- 22:22like this well because you said it was
- 22:24going to be like this and your thoughts
- 22:26create your reality number 30 stop financing your
- 22:30excuses with your future that's what you're doing
- 22:33by you creating these really outlandish excuses you're
- 22:39paying a big price for delaying your future
- 22:42this is what i want you to remember
- 22:44everyone when you postpone learning something you know
- 22:47you'll need for your future actually pays for
- 22:50it sometimes twice when you ignore a small
- 22:54problem until it becomes larger your future pays
- 22:57for it when you avoid an important conversation
- 23:00your future pays for it and when you
- 23:02spend years waiting for perfect circumstances and opportunities
- 23:06your future pays for it this isn't about
- 23:09denying reality maybe you don't have enough time
- 23:13right now maybe you don't have all the
- 23:15resources maybe someone told you maybe you tried
- 23:19before and you fail like that elephant did
- 23:22but that elephant could surely break out of
- 23:24that stake now but it won't because it's
- 23:27mind's condition to believe it's not strong enough
- 23:29and ask some questions what can i do
- 23:34from here right now maybe you can't take
- 23:3710 steps but you can take one or
- 23:40part of one maybe you can't afford the
- 23:42entire solution but you can start researching it
- 23:44now maybe you can't control someone else's decision
- 23:48but you can control your preparation and your
- 23:50responses now which will affect others maybe you
- 23:53can't change yesterday but you could change what
- 23:56you repeat tomorrow that's resourcefulness speaking guys and
- 24:00it connects directly to our master topic as
- 24:03you probably know your next level will demand
- 24:05a different you a different kind of you
- 24:07maybe that difference is you stopping and waiting
- 24:11for perfect circumstances don't do that maybe that
- 24:15difference is you start smaller instead of refusing
- 24:18to start maybe that difference is you move
- 24:23forward without destroying your confidence maybe that difference
- 24:26is you say this is difficult without concluding
- 24:29i can't do it it's a little hard
- 24:31but i'm going to keep working at it
- 24:33think about one excuse you've been repeating what
- 24:36is it protecting you from what is it
- 24:38costing you to keep using that excuse what
- 24:41happens if you repeat it for another year
- 24:43now identify one more availability issue to you
- 24:47right now what could you do what could
- 24:50change you don't have to solve everything today
- 24:54guys all right you need to prove that
- 24:57movement is possible your reasons may be real
- 25:00your obstacles may be real your circumstances matter
- 25:03but so do your choices in life we
- 25:05have freedom of choice use what you have
- 25:08start smaller when necessary work around limitations intelligently
- 25:11take responsibility without attacking yourself find your next
- 25:15move make it a game it's gonna be
- 25:20a lot of fun right it'll be a
- 25:22lot of fun i think when we approach
- 25:25life as a game it becomes fun and
- 25:29we get resourceful very quickly because we like
- 25:34being challenged ladies and gentlemen if you don't
- 25:38know who i am by now allow me
- 25:40to introduce myself i'm john c morley as
- 25:43i said i'm a serial entrepreneur engineer and
- 25:45much more and this has been another amazing
- 25:49episode of the powerful show inspirations for your
- 25:53life you know ladies and gentlemen um at
- 25:55the end of december december 31st we'll be
- 25:58closing out our fifth season and january 1st
- 26:00we'll be starting our sixth year on the
- 26:02air that's like amazing i'm so grateful to
- 26:05all of you that have been following us
- 26:07and um yeah there's just so much we're
- 26:10doing and yes guys another book is coming
- 26:12out i'll share more about that as it's
- 26:14going to release it's gonna be a book
- 26:16about ai the truth that ai the world's
- 26:18never going to tell you so here's what
- 26:21i want to leave you with a few
- 26:22nuggets if you will the longer you wait
- 26:25the more expensive some changes become in the
- 26:28future the way i can express this is
- 26:31uh being in software engineering when we develop
- 26:35what we want in the beginning it's a
- 26:38lot less costly when we have to make
- 26:40changes after the system has released it can
- 26:44cost 60 to 100 percent more to incorporate
- 26:47those changes in so they're going to work
- 26:49properly okay those are important things and i
- 26:53think as we understand when things are expensive
- 26:55expensive doesn't just mean money expensive can mean
- 26:58our time can mean our resources okay those
- 27:00are important things so the longer you wait
- 27:02the more expensive some changes become and that
- 27:04could preclude you from actually doing something in
- 27:07life ladies gentlemen don't spend tomorrow paying for
- 27:09an excuse you can begin solving today stop
- 27:12finding some excuses with your future because every
- 27:16time you do this ladies gentlemen you delay
- 27:18that beautiful future that you're worth and if
- 27:22you only knew every time you opened your
- 27:24mouth or you said something in your mind
- 27:26that's going to delay you and how if
- 27:29you wouldn't have said that you could be
- 27:32further think about that elephant today right if
- 27:35that elephant kept trying and never gave up
- 27:39guess what happened the elephant could crush that
- 27:42steak all right it could have crushed that
- 27:44steak i invite you to please check out
- 27:47believemeachieved.com for more of my amazing inspiring
- 27:50creations at believemeachieved.com i'm john similarly serial
- 27:55entrepreneur i'll catch you again for another amazing
- 27:58episode tomorrow be well everyone take care