Latest / Nurtural Disasters / Two Narcissists Walk Into a Wedding...
Transcript
- Lisa: Hello and welcome to Nurtural Disasters. This is a podcast for those of us with toxic or emotionally immature parents. We might not have a bunch of credentials next to our names, but we do have PhDs from the Hard Knocks University. Basically, we want this to be a validating space for adult children of parents who had no business having children. ⁓ Ken: Welcome to Nurtural Disasters with Ken and Lisa. Hey Lisa. Lisa: hey Ken. Ken: What was that? you're were you Lisa: okay? Ken: surprised that I said hello? Lisa: No, 'cause I was turning to my my mic. Maybe it was like 'cause it's closer than I thought. I'm like, Ken: you got ambushed by your mic. Lisa: Apparently. Ken: So how how you been? well, you know, in in recording world, this has actually been a while since I talked to you last. We've all been we've both been going through some stuff. that's preventing us from recording regularly. so though it sounds like we just talked to you guys last week, we're actually me and Lisa haven't talked like on this recording for quite a while. So how you been, Lisa? Lisa: Okay. I I've just been so busy and really stressed out. Just a lot going on. But i it's nice, maybe you know, it to have like this this podcast is maybe good to vent, you know? I don't know. Ken: Definitely. well it's it's not the worst thing in life to be stressed out sometimes. it's totally normal to be stressed out, especially when you when involving things that could, change your life for the better. the there's certain things that really make people nervous, right? and stress and a lot of it's you know, it's it honestly it's the plight of the The other ninety-nine percent. most of us are nervous about job interviews, most of us are nervous about, you know, upcoming baby or something like that. Because a lot of that stuff is life changing. for the very rich, I don't think it is life changing when that stuff happens. but for most of us, yeah, a lot of that stuff causes a lot of stress. You can't help but think about it. I think it's a normal human emotion to have that kind of stress. So it's definitely okay to have that kind of stress. You just have to, still be able to function, right? I've known a lot of people to lose a lot of sleep at night. I've been sometimes losing a lot of sleep overthinking things, and that's never a good thing. Like you really need sleep. Lisa: Yeah, well I yeah, just last night I took a Benadryl. 'Cause I knew it Ken: I love Benadryls by the way. Lisa: my god, it's my favorite drug. Ken: did you take like you know like that's the active ingredient ZQL? Tylenol PM ZQL. Lisa: For try little PM. Yeah. Yeah. Ken: that stuff is awesome sleep. But the problem is, do you did you feel groggy afterwards? Because I also like every time I take it in the morning, I just feel like, man, I feel like got slammed. Lisa: When I yeah, when you when you wake up, I you feel like I just can't the grogginess, but I I just can't concentrate. I don't feel fully awake. But I mean, I do wake up feeling rested for once. And that's what I did last night. I basically like I call it roofing myself because I'm like, I need drugs 'cause I needed to sleep. I I just I've been losing sleep from the stress. So I knew 'cause I I didn't have to work until ten AM. So I'm like, okay, Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: I get s I get a couple more hours of sleep and I did. Felt so good, by the way. But I did wake up it it kind of I need to have a cup of coffee just so I can feel like alert. Otherwise I'm just in a haze, in a fog. Yeah. Ken: Yeah, th so the yeah, the best time to take those kind of things is like on like heading into the weekend when you don't have anything planned and you could just sleep in. because then you could let your body just like get used to it, right? You sometimes you just need some sleep. people that have been following our podcast remember we talked a couple episodes about Michael Jackson and remember how how Michael Jackson couldn't fall asleep for quite a long time. he took he took drugs and you know profil and like, you know, that probably resulted in his death. So I don't think we think about how important sleep actually is for livelihoods. Lisa: No, I think we have there's this h the hustle culture where it's like Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: you have to be about five in the morning, do a cold plunge, run a marathon, Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: drop your kids off at school, then you w you know, it's like No, what can I just like not do that? But then you're like considered a loser if you're not Ken: Mm-hmm. Right? Because I think that it keeps going back and forth. Before it was like hustle culture like maybe like even like ten years ago. I remember in like my my late twenties, people were talking about hustle culture. And now we're kinda with people just be like, take it easy and stuff like that. And I I understand because You know, a lot of people that have been inside the hustle culture and, haven't become a millionaire or billionaire, they're working in like a regular five days a week, forty hour week, you you hustle and then what happens? You get canned, you get fired, you get laid off, and then then what happens, right? And you know, you you you put so much of yourself into that and your work life, then what happens? I think a lot of people were seeing it. and seeing it for what it is, you could you could hustle, but there has to be a limit. There has to be some appreciation from the corporate level, right? If not, it's it's it's a hard thing. I've I've I've known people that have gone into a tech industry during the tech boom. then they get canned and their whole life kind of like changes. So there's an extent to how we s feel c hustle culture now. It's kind of like a one way kind of one way kind of hustle. The company doesn't seem to give you as much appreciation as you put into it. That's just my two cents. Lisa: Yeah. Well I know we're getting a little off topic, but we can always trim this down. Ken: Yeah, we could cut. Yeah, we could cut this part out. Yeah. So we've been talking about very tough stuff recently. we've been talking about murders and stuff like that. but recently, I just came back from one of my cousins' wedding. It was great. I think out of all the cousins from my dad's side, I think it's like the second or third kid to get married. think Third kid to get married. A lot of us are either single or not married, including me. So the topic is this week, weddings. And weddings in particular when your parents are kind of toxic. What happens when that happens? well, what happens when your parents are toxic and you plan a wedding? So I saw my uncle and my aunt. You know, they were just normal just parents at the wedding and I just look at that and everything seemed to go according to plan. It's just a nice little get together, and ceremony went without a hitch. Nobody ran away, nobody created a scene. everybody was on their best behavior, there was no drunk. It was just awesome. It was just it was just a nice celebration and nothing went wrong. And then I realized, a lot of the problem people weren't at the wedding, including, you know, my dad or some other people that then that weren't there in the family. Lisa: Okay, that's what I was gonna ask. I was like if yeah, I yeah. Ken: My dad was not there. I think because of that I was able to go and enjoy myself. if my dad was there, I don't know if I would have even went to the wedding. Lisa: I totally get that because, you know, I I went to my cousin's wedding in Mexico months ago, early in the year. And if I'd known she had been invited, I would not have gone. It n not just me, but other people as well in the family. She's, you know, fucked over. So it you know, it's sad that it happens. It just really divides the family. It's like I can't do this because I know that person will be there and they're so toxic and they're just gonna ruin this occasion and make it all about them. Y you know, it's sad. Ken: Yeah, I've heard a bunch of horror stories, especially if you if you're really used to Reddit and there's a whole genre of YouTube videos are about people reading Reddit stuff and weddings, family issues, bridezillas. You run the gamut of just bad stuff that happens to a wedding. So it's nice to go to a wedding where none of that stuff was present. no one was try make it their own agenda. And the thing is, is when you grow up with some like parents that are toxic, how do you even plan a wedding? it it has some give and take, right? I've heard stories where the you know the parents take total control. They want certain guests to be invited, certain meals to be served, certain locations to be booked. Lisa: Mm-hmm. Ken: And it's as much as their wedding as it is like their kids' wedding. And it's Th there comes a certain point where it's like, are you living vicariously through your kid? Or are you just totally controlling them? Is this your pet project or something like that? So what happens when you have a parent that's either a narcissist or just toxic? So have you ever had experience with that, Lisa? Lisa: Well, yeah. Mm so my my brother's been married, so this was a while ago. And then my mom was there and she did she She was like bragging about something that was like a medical treatment that my brother had undergone that was botched. And she was like there and she's like wearing like this skimpy outfit that's like so inappropriate. And she's like bragging to them. And like if you look at people's faces, their look they their face was like, This is like why are you telling me this? Like that look. But she was like had this big smile on her face and talking about it like it was like so funny, like I and then and then I did this at like she just didn't get it right and then I s set her aside and I was like you're not impressing anybody by saying that so you do that and then after that I avoided her the rest of the the event and no yes mm so my dad and my grandmother were there And she was pissed that I was spending time with them because I don't really get to spend time with them. they live in different states. Literally, one lives outside of the country. So I was spending time with them. And she was so pissed that I she thought that I was spending more time with them than her, that she stopped talking to me for six months. So that was not fun. And well, in and at that point she was like paying for the phone bill. It was like a f you know, the family plan. Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: And she stopped my the family plan, she got took me out of her family plan, all this stuff. Which is like, okay, fine, whatever, you know? Ken: Well this is I I'm assuming this is before you you cut her. you had like you had to cut her off and go estrange, right? Lisa: No, this was yeah, this was years before. Liter mm because this would happen. Ken: Mm-hmm. So this was actually like a like a point in time where you actually wanted a relationship with her or try to amend certain things. now Lisa: Yeah. Ken: of course it's it's another story. just one question about your mom. what color was skimpy dress? Cause I've heard horror stories about people wearing like inappropriate cocktail dresses to weddings, and mothers are wearing like red or something like that. That's Totally inappropriate. It's like things that are inappropriate, either wearing white or red or something like that. Thank God. Was she wearing red though? Lisa: She was not wearing white. She was not wearing white, trying to upstage her mother and th no, I think it was purple. I think it was purple. Ken: bright color showing a leg. Was this before or after the boob job? Lisa: it's this was after. But of course it was like super Ken: okay. Lisa: low cut. And I told her not to do it and she was like, Okay and then she shows up wearing it, so Ken: Isn't that great? It's like, I won't do it. And then you just like that's all you see. Lisa: I yeah, and then when I tell people they go, Wow, like at least you didn't get drunk and I'm like, Yeah, I guess that's the only positive. But that's a yeah. Ken: that's a plus, right? And we are s we're s hear stories about the drunk uncle. Except I never run into the drunk Lisa: Yeah she Ken: uncle. A lot of the people in my family aren't drinkers, so thank God. Lisa: but she did yeah, she did show up late. It was it it was like very noticeable 'cause like, you know, you have to show up early for the pictures to get like pictures from around the venue and whatever. so Ken: Mm-hmm. Especially if you're in the in the family of the person getting married. Like you should be there. Especially if you're a parent. Yeah. Yeah, mother of the groom. Like you're supposed to be there. You're supposed to be there early. Yeah. Lisa: Mother of the groom. Yeah, the mother of the groom. people notice that. pe people notice that. So that's I j and then and you know what what the worst part is like after that my brother and my mom they ganged up on me like they usually used to do. they ganged up on me and my brother said that I had ruined his wedding. And my mom stopped talking to me for six months, and they said, I ruined the wedding. And could be because I was spending and then my my partner at the time, the boyfriend I had at the time, s was there, and he said, I think she was jealous that you were spending time with your your dad and your grandma. And I was like, Yeah, but I I don't get and he's Yeah, I totally get it. You dn you rarely get to see them, you know, maybe once or twice a year. So where it's like, you know, you live with your mom, you see her Somet usually, you know, we cross paths. Ken: I don't know why your brother would say that other than he he just, you know, found an opportunity to you know, gang up with your mom to be against you or something like that. How would that have influenced this wedding? Lisa: N I i it 'cause I guess I'm the scapegoat. Like the scapegoat, you're j Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: you're guilty of everything regardless of what you do. You just breathe the wrong way. You fucking ruined it. Like I he was just always doing that to me, but I think it was like it's just expected when you were in a toxic family. The scapegoat is the recipient of all of the family's, dysfunction and but I you know, in hindsight, I I really thought like, what the fuck did I do wrong? Like the you know, the six months she stopped talking to me, it was very painful. And she only like she started talking to me again and she looked like she was teary-eyed that like she had missed me or something. And then she's like, Can you take care of my dog? And I was like, I guess in hindsight, she just wanted me back so 'cause she wanted someone to babysit her dog. Because she doesn't want to take care of it. Like we I told you, this is another dog. Like this is not the one that she lost like earlier this year. it was the one she neglected. She actually had two. Yeah, that's right, she had two dogs. And they would go at each other when she would leave them home alone. So yeah, it was it's just weird. So yeah, that's my story. Ken: Yeah, that's just your mom was just something else. So I always thought like when you have a parent that's like a narcissist, I don't even know how you plan a wedding at that point. 'Cause people are asking me about my wedding and how's it gonna go down and i it this is this is my stress when I think about it. when I think about planning the wedding, who I'm having there, knowing how, my future spouse and my dad don't get along. And y there's not really anything to remedy it. there's not like you know, what do they call that? What is that? What's that thing with the olive branch? Like go that that saying? Yeah, there's there's there's none of that. you know what was interesting? my aunt, who's my dad's youngest sister, we were talking about, you know, my wedding in the future, and she was like, Maybe you should talk to your dad and stuff like that. Cause she doesn't understand. You can't talk to him. she's thinking that things, conversations could fix Things, just explain it to your dad, and like she doesn't get it. She doesn't know my dad like I do. She really doesn't. She she I think it's I'm not sure if it's just like a she's being naive or something like that. she hasn't dealt with someone like my dad as someone that's like her parent. So I try to explain to her as there's no fixing this. And she's you just need to talk to him. And that's the most frustrating thing about talking to people that don't. Get it, that the relationship cannot be salvaged because you know my dad doesn't want their relationship to be salvaged, he he likes it this way. he complains about certain things, he he he wonders why his family's not close closer knit and stuff like that. And I'm like, are you serious? Like you you this is this is you reap what you sow. the reason why your daughter. Has this relationship with you, and I have this relationship with you, and all the things in between, it's because everybody in the family just wouldn't relent. my dad's a narcissist, my sister's likely a narcissist. So when people don't relent and they always think they're right, and especially those two, all they do is just gaslight me. They would tell. you know, fake stories and things like that to other people and often tell fake stories to me and I would fact check that stuff and realize when I was older that a lot of the stuff they told me growing up and even just recently a lot of the stuff is not true. And it's it's mortifying because I'm so used to just people not playing those kind of games. Or at least that's what I thought. So when my wedding's coming up, I think I'm just Lisa: My wording's coming over there. Ken: gonna You know, just do a destination wedding or just a lope and just not tell my dad and my sister. Right, Lisa? I don't know what to do at that point. Lisa: Just a lope. Don't don't Ken: It it it it's it's mortifying cause y you know what it is? My fiance's parents seem to care more about what I say and it and I'm not even really their kid and they just they they seem to value my opinion and things like that. And understandably, it's it's weird for me because I would talk to my dad, I would give them suggestions, I would you know, try to be a good kid and you know helpful. And all I do is just get discounted. Like he tells me that I don't know anything and stuff like that. I'm naive about the world. And that's it's really hard to tell that to someone that's like 40 years old. I know there's Lisa: You know what? Yeah, look, Ken, if there's any piece of advice I can give you, do not invite him. Do not invite toxic people to your to your wedding. Don't fucking do it. I'm telling you from wisdom and experience, don't fucking do it. And everyone else who tells you, Well, I regretted not inviting My aunt and my other aunt because they were fighting and so I didn't want and I regretted it. I'm like, yeah, because you're not dealing with a cluster B personality. They don't fucking get it. So that's all I can tell you. If you want to elope, elope and don't tell anybody. And and you know, you're I'm sure your fiance I don't know she dreams about having like the big beautiful dress and the big church and the DJ and this. Some people want that, some people don't. I don't know what she wants. But all I can tell you is th they will ruin your wedding and and it's it sucks because it's supposed to be like the quote unquote the happiest day of your life. And they'll make it all about them. They're gonna ruin it. I I'm just telling you point blank right now. That's it. and just have that in the back of your mind. And you know, maybe you do decide and you feel like they're gonna be in their best behavior, cool. And hopefully that's for the best. But these people, they just don't change and they They don't take any accountability. And they just they always have to ruin everything. I mean, he ruins your fucking Sundays, every fucking Sunday. You know, and that's just a regular Ken: He he ruins he ruins my birthdays. we we had an episode about that. We had two episodes about that, him ruining my birthdays. It just that's what he does. Lisa: I don't I'll just that just Ken: And that's like the Yeah, it's it's yeah, go ahead. Lisa: I that's just the advice that I'm giving you, Ken. That's I'm just being super, super serious right now. Like that don't do that. Ken: Yeah, and I and and I get it. And I get it. do you think at any point that I could have a full wedding and just not invite him and just let him know? Like like I'll invite all my family members and he's like, Where's your dad? I was like, you know, no, Lisa: He was busy he's Ken: any any chance that that that that would fly? Cause because the thing is, I really feel like my cousins, my friends, my aunts and uncles, they'll be happy for me. They're kinda happy for me now. Like they see me and my fiance. They they don't treat us weird. They don't. They treat us like normal human beings. They have nice conversations with us. We talk to them all the time. We we we shoot the breeze and things like that. There's nothing wrong. There's no kind of animosity there. The only animosity is like from my nuclear family. And the thing is, my sister hasn't been to any kind of like family-oriented wedding. Like she misses more of those family weddings than she's at. So, you know, there's a good chance that she's not gonna show anyway. That's almost like a 99% chance. It's probably more likely that I get hit by asteroid than her showing up. But my dad, it's like, man, I don't know. My dad might just show up and I'm not sure if he's just gonna mess up the wedding and just say something so stupid that Yeah, you know, he's he's he says stupid things and he doesn't know that he says stupid things, and that's the thing I'm worried about. Lisa: just like my mom. Ken: He's so oblivious that it's like I didn't say anything wrong. What's what did I say? It's stuff like that. I was like, are you serious? I'm not sure like he's just oblivious or just like total gaslighting. Lisa: Yeah, th yeah, th that like I was saying about my mom, you know, she she Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: there was a group of people around her and she's saying talking about this something that was pretty traumatic for my brother, you know, this medical stuff and she's talking about it and laughing like it's like like she was telling a joke. And people Ken: Yeah, and and I and I get it because my dad would do something like that too. Like he'll Lisa: Mm-hmm. Ken: he'll say talk about something serious, not about himself, but about another person and think it's funny. And nobody's laughing. That's the crazy part. No one's laughing. It's like nobody is y you know what would likely happen. Like I told you like how he just insults my mother in front of her that she has dementia. Like he'll say something about my mother, obviously, to my family. And everybody will probably just look at this like, That's your wife you're talking about. I'm that's the most likely thing that's gonna happen. And you know, he says some vile things. And I could get it. When you tell me that your mom says like really bad personal things about your brother, that's it's not like silly in a way. It was like, that's kinda s that's kinda cute. It's not cute. So I get it. So destination wedding, you know, think about it. his one of his nephews is finally getting married. there hasn't been like a family wedding on his side of the family for quite a while. you would think that guy would just show up. No, he didn't show up. T He'd give him money though. You know, that's his ultimate thing, is I'll just give him money. He's like, they don't really care about your money. I don't want to say that because any kind of money during a wedding is great. it's the honeymoon fun, it's great. he doesn't mind giving the money. I told you what happened with My dad, like, I pick up the money and you know, he wants to give a check. I tell him there's other ways to do it. You you could just Venmo them, which my cousin asked for, and he's like, What's Venmo? and stuff like that. He's like, he doesn't get it. so I I get the check. I'm getting coffee afterwards, you know, my little treat for the day after seeing him. and then he he calls me, is like, Hey, could you pick up your sister's gift for your cousin? I was like, Wait, what gift? Yeah, it's it's it's money. you could come back over and stuff like that, or you could just front the payment to your cousin. And I'm like, why doesn't she give it to him? Like my sister understands what Vedmo is. It's like, well, your sister doesn't want to do that. Could you just do this favor for her? And I'm like, that doesn't make any sense. Like he sh she could literally talk to him and was like, yeah, how do I give you the money? And my cousin would probably be like, this is how you do it. Perfectly fine, right, normal? and I've started being really combative about it because it for me it it it's weird for me and my sister already and you want me to go over there and you know take the thing and I I already don't want to do this because every time my dad tells me to do something, I'm already like combative. So he he starts he starts pushing and pushing and pushing, and then he was like, Well, Yeah, he goes by that thing as like we're family and stuff like that, you know, I don't get what what's going on with you and your sister, and I'm like, no, we're not talking about this again. So I'm like, I'm just I just fine, I'll just front the money and you know, deal with it later. And that's what I told him I didn't front the money. I didn't care. my dad was like, Yeah, can you front your two hundred dollars for your sister? I knew she was gonna pay it back, but I'm like, I don't wanna do it. It could be like ten bucks, I wanna wanna do it. Just because he told me. And I don't want that guy to my wedding. I saw what that guy tried to do at my birthday parties and you know, I don't want him at my wedding. I want him to not even know that I got married. That's that's really ideally what it would be. If s it would just be funny because then my my aunts and uncles be the wedding was great. I don't know why you didn't make it and he's like, What wedding? That'll be perfect. That would be a perfect conversation. But I don't know. It's Yeah. Lisa: I don't know. It's the wedding you were not invited to? know, like if Ken: I ev even if I invite him, even if I invite him, then what's the point, right? he's probably not gonna show up. If he does show up, it's not gonna be a good thing that he's he's not gonna be on best behavior. I don't trust him with that. I just don't. Lisa: No, 'cause he won't. He's gonna fuck it up. He's gonna fuck up your wedding. I'm just I already know that. Ken: And not to be like a person that's gloom and doom, but it's like I keep thinking it's like, hmm, how is he gonna mess up my wedding? That's what I'm thinking. What how is he gonna mess up my wedding? A guy that's you know, that control freak and narcissist, what's what's he gonna do at my wedding? I just like you if y if you have a narcissist parent, like if anybody listening to this, you could contact us, you know. leave some comments. if you have a narcissist parent, what did you do on your wedding? I I really want to hear about what other people like end up doing. I I hope a lot of them were just like, you know what, I just didn't invite them. And that's great idea to not invite that problematic person to your wedding. Because you think that magically they're just gonna be on their best behavior and stuff like that. It's like, no, it's just gonna like your mom tell inappropriate stories and wear like the skimpiest of dresses. somehow that just seems kinda trashy. I feel like my dad's gotta take the trashy approach. I don't trust that guy. Lisa: Yeah, I already I already know. Ken: The only thing the only thing I can think now Lisa: I already know. Ken: it's like, Hey Lisa, what do you think my dad's gonna do at my wedding if he comes? Lisa: Let's see, maybe he'll sh probably show up late. let's see. Probably like there'll be some overlap with like him and my mom. Show up late. wear something inappropriate, say inappropriate things. He's not a drinker, right? Ken: He's not. Lisa: Okay, good. So I'm gonna get drunk and make a fool of himself. Okay, well that's good. Ken: looking at him it makes me wanna be a drinker. Like I used to drink heavily phe in my youth. I think a lot of it's like look at me down, it's like, I don't wanna deal with this. Lisa: It maybe make comments about the brides and grooms, like such and such Ken: Aw man. Lisa: is about their weight, about their racial or their ethnic sorry. I oop cut that. there's n there's n this fuck, I can't pronounce right now. Ken: man. It's like can we leave that in? It's like you ca you have a lisp when you say ethnicity. Lisa: Ethnicity. Well ethnicity. I can't Ken: You know there's you know you know that we all have a word we can't say. you know there's certain words I can't say. Lisa: my god, let's cut this out. That's so embarrassing. my god. Ethnicity. Ethnicity. Charm? Charm. Charm. Ken: No, it's part of the charm. It's part of our charm. It's charm, charm. It's part of our charm. Especially when people think it's like AI. It was like, d do AI people fuck up like this? Lisa: You could you say, AI, can you make me sound more human? Give me some human mistakes, you know. Ethnicity. I said it. I fucking said Ken: Well I I d I I don't know if I I Lisa: it. Ethnicity. Ken: Yeah, on on the on the sixth try. Lisa: Great, okay, bye. Ken: Well yeah I was gonna tell you like you know recently I I uploaded some of her stuff on YouTube and do you know there's like a auto dub feature now feature now? It's crazy. Auto dub. It's odd Lisa: An auto water? W a wada woda? Wada woda? Ken: it's auto-dubbed. Like like I was listening to her podcast in Spanish and you Lisa: dubbed Ken: know Lisa: dubbed. I was like dumped? I thought you said dumped and I'm like Ken: Okay, now we have to cut this out. Lisa: Ugh I don't d my god. I fuck. Okay. Ken: Okay, so yeah so so yeah, the thing is is I noticed recently, like especially with YouTube, like you could auto dub something. So I've been getting content from, you know, around the world and this just auto dubs it for me. But it's always in this really robotic voice that is doesn't s like I've heard like some kind of like podcast, pseudo podcasters are like totally AI generated, and they do sound like real people, but there's for some reason when they auto dub something on YouTube. you would think it's actually our voice, but it's not. I was listening to the one, the the one about, you know, the one of our episodes was about how you were getting braces and your mom ended up getting like a boo job and a tummy tuck. And I was listening to the episode. Midway through the episode, your voice changed from like a middle-aged lady to a young lady. And I was like, what the And and the thing is, I know because there's only two of us. So why did your voice change in the middle? I'm like, yeah, this is AI, I guess. And you know, I I can't I can't check the grammar. My Spanish is not that good to check the grammar, but it was like it was hilarious. I was listening to that thing, I was like, that the episode's only like twenty minutes long, and I think your voice changed three or four times. Or AI dub voice, Lisa. Lisa: Well I don't know how I'm actually kinda conflicted because like great, make me look younger. Yeah, yeah. If I wanna yeah, make me sound younger, make me look younger, like I'm a Ken: You sounded like a there was one where you sounded like a you know, you sounded like a sixty year old. So and it was in the same recording. Lisa: A six year old. my god, I do have a six year old niece, which is so funny and the way she talks. my god. Ken: It was a six two sixty. it was yeah. I just thought that was neat, but yeah.