Latest / Black Girls Are Easy Podcast / How To Date When You Don't Want A Serious Relationship

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How To Date When You Don't Want A Serious Relationship · Black Girls Are Easy Podcast

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Girls have told me bluntly that sometimes they need dick and the vibrator just isn't
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enough. You want to fuck, not make love, not have sex,
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but fuck like an animal when the feeling rushes over you. Some girls want
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the reward without the risk, and if dudes can milk the cow for free,
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chicks can ride the bull without having to buy the beef. In ratchet
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terms, bitches want to have their cake and eat it too, and I
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think they have that right. G L Lambert hell out the one question.
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Everyone from your grandmother to your obgyn make small talk about are you dating anyone?
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Your relationship status does not define you, but everywhere you turn it seems
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to be the thing on which you're constantly judged. Settle Dick uses this relationship
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craze to on those women who fear being alone forever. Rival females use it
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to rattle your ego as if you're less desirable than they are because they keep
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a man. Compliments about being too pretty to be alone, warnings about being
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too picky to ever find a man, or backhanded comments pointing to how you
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selfishly ignore the nice guys who are right under your nose. These are the
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verbal jabs people use to break down those girls who turn down date offers with
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no thanks. I'm doing me right now. I've found that it's not the
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men that chip away the most at women's relationship insecurities, but other females.
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The moment a braggadocious girl finally gets a man, she feels the need to
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look down on women who are still single. Two weeks into a relationship that
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she had to beg for with the guy she most likely wasn't into at first,
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and a basic bitch is suddenly a relationship expert. This type of girl
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can't wait to tell you what you're saying wrong, point out the flaws in
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your whole wardrobe, and then try to push you on her boyfriend's lame ass
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cousin. As if you aren't capable of finding a mediocre dick on your own,
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A part of you will always long for male interaction on more than that
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platonic level. Girls have told me bluntly that sometimes they need dick and the
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vibrator just isn't enough. Others have said that they're fine not having sex,
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but it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with that doesn't have a
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vagina. Some girls want the reward without the risk. And if dudes can
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milk the cow for free, chicks can ride the bull without having to buy
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the beef. In ratchet terms, bitches want to have their cake and eat
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it too, and I think they have that right. This chapter will get
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into the ins and outs of dating when you're not looking for a serious relationship,
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just an outlet. While the average person may laugh and say that women
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have a nasty habit of catching feelings when it's supposed to be emotionless, I
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do believe it can be achieved. It's not about cutting off your emotions or
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seeing men only as meat. It's about being disciplined enough to get what you
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want out of the situation and then let go once that itch has been scratched.
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The girl who just wants sex, you want to fuck, not make
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love, not have sex, but fuck like an animal when the feeling rushes
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over you. The problem is that you don't want to be seen as a
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slut, a hole, catch a disease, or get your business aired out
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by the guy you're smashing on the weekends. Welcome to the world of man,
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ladies. It may seem that guys don't really care about whom they see
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Dixon. But they're more selective than you think, sometimes too selective. There
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are men who court jump off pussy as actively as they court girlfriends, which
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is the top reason girls get confused as to what a man wants, as
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if he should be an asshole instead of a gentleman if he only wants sex
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from you. Those slutty men who you are disgusted by are merely the sloppy
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ones you know about because they do put their sexual business in the street.
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However, there are numerous men who aren't looking for anything serious and aren't sloppy.
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Unlike boastful little boys, these men move in silence, are polite,
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respectful, and keep the entire relationship private. The messy aspect of males,
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even the gentlemen who initiate this type of pact, is that they often lead
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women on instead of being forthcoming about what they want, due to the fear
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that girls won't willingly agree to be pussy. As a result, guys slide
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into a sex only relationship with girls who assume it's going somewhere. Real women
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can secure a sexual relationship easier and more honestly than men can, but only
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if they throw caution shyness and fear of rejection to the wind. A girl
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I email with told me that she just wants a delivery penis. No watching
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movies in her crib, no cooking dinner, just a guy to come over
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and fuck her after scandal goes off. The problem was that she didn't know
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how to initiate this kind of relationship. I can't just walk up to a
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cute guy and say let's fuck. He think I was crazy. Stop making
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things so dramatic, ladies. This isn't about walking up to a stranger and
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telling him that his height and smile turn you on and you want to go
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fuck in the coach check room. No one outside of a Taiwanese whorehouse is
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that forward when it comes to sex. Realistically, you don't want to have
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sex with a stranger you met because there is no trust. One night stands
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are a different kind of monster, random, spontaneous, and understood as a
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one and done deal. If your goal is to have a penis on call,
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it does take a bit of effort. Given that he's going to be
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a big part of your life. You should interview that man you want to
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have sex with the same way you would interview a guy that wants to be
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your boyfriend, you're literally putting your life in reputation in a guy's hands.
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You should know basic things about his personality, even if it is just sex.
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If he's the type that sees you as more than pussy and wants you
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to be his girl, he's not going to settle for I'm doing me right
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now and be happy renovating your walls. Eventually, he's going to get in
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his feelings and act out like a stereotypical female would know that man, even
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if all you want is his penis. There have been guys who've posted pictures
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on Twitter as payback for not getting what they want, exposed secret relationships on
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Facebook long after the FWB situation ended, and I personally know a dude who
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lied about having a condom on and got a girl pregnant because she only saw
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him as dick. Men are just as psycho as women are if they're rejected
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emotionally. Don't believe that all men fit into the I'm cool with just sex
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box interview his ass. He looks good, and that's the kind of guy
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whose face you want to ride like a Kawasaki. There's nothing wrong with that,
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but remember that good looking guys are an rare. You may have to
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pass up light Eyes at the bar because he shows signs of being overly romantic,
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but rest assured that you will meet someone just as attractive the next time
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you're out dick scouting, and he may be a better candidate for lunchtime quickies
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where you don't have to cuddle after. The key is to be selective,
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aggressive, and most importantly, have the ability to communicate the arrangement that you
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want how to initiate. There isn't a specific place you should go to meet
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guys who will be into fuck friends situations. The same way you meet men
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normally is the same way you should go about meeting these kinds of boy toys.
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If you don't know where to meet them, then clearly you didn't read
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this book comprehensively. Go and start over from chapter one, and don't stop
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until you understand how easy it is to pull a man into your world.
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Once you do meet a guy that you are attracted to, don't be negative
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or self defeating. Women tend to beat themselves up as if they don't look
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good enough to get the good looking guys. Others make the mistake of avoiding
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men completely because they don't trust themselves not to fall in love. Some don't
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want to hurt the feelings of a man who wants to be hers exclusively,
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so they become social hermits. Trust that you look good enough to get any
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man hard, that no dick created can whip you, and that any man
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who signs up for what you are about to offer knows what he's getting into.
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No more excuses. Another negative thought will be he doesn't look like the
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type that would be into that bullshit, even nice guys like sex. I
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don't care if the guy that gets you moist is stumbled upon it or at
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your son's little league practice. Assume that he's down to beat the brakes off
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that emotionally unavailable pussy. Having the confidence that what you are about to bring
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to the table won't be turned down is mandatory for success. The rules remain
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the same as if you were looking for a friend to date or talk to.
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Flirt, exchange numbers, find time to meet up face to face,
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and see if he's someone you actually like and trust. This is the most
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important step. Do not be impulsive and ask a guy on the phone the
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day after the first time you meet if he's down to be your dick daddy.
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By not vetting him properly, you may end up with a creep who
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ends up posting your panties on Instagram. Take your time and be sure that
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he's right for you. This isn't a race, and you aren't just giving
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your box away. He has to be worthy enough to fuck. Unlike boyfriend
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hunting, this should be much more seductive and sexually charged. Put it on
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front street early on that you aren't looking for a man currently and let him
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react. He may be someone who is looking for a girl to settle down
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with, and that lets you know he's not the one for this merger.
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If he responds with the same sentiment about just having a friend and getting to
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know people, then move forward. Do this quickly and decisively. Do not
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be shy beating around the bush because you're afraid of how he may react to
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Your bluntness makes you look weak and if you want this to work, you
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have to be serious and in control or he'll take you as a joke.
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You have a guy in your life that you want to test this on.
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What do you do practically to lay the foundation? Call him up and have
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phone sex. Seriously, call him and initiate phone sex and see if he's
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receptive. Phone sex is the ultimate icebreaker. It drops all formalities and breaks
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a person down to their nastiest. If you don't know how to have phone
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sex, you're either sixteen years old or criminally out of the loop. I
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assume most reading this know how to phone bone properly, so I won't delve
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into this step by step. Email me if you're that stuck, and I
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will be happy to give you a laundry list of filthy conversation starters. After
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you have phone sex, make the offer. He already knows that you're not
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looking for a boyfriend, yet he's not in the brother role either, due
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to the exchange of I want you to eat it from the back dialogue.
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Now it's time to let it be known that you're not looking for simple let's
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where this goes friend, but an adult arrangement that benefits both of you.
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It doesn't matter the exact wording, so long as you get this point across.
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I want someone that I can call up to come handle this without trying
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to make things more serious than sex. Are you up for that kind of
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arrangement? Ten out of ten guys who just jerked off on the phone with
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you, will agree how to test You made a handshake deal at this point,
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and as those in business know, some handshake deals aren't worth shit.
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This professional arrangement is all talk until after you have sex. How will he
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react after he hits? Will you be a good lay? Will he be
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a good layer? I advise having a marathon sex session out the gate,
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let him spend the night or make him rent a hotel so you can really
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get a sense of what he's working with sexually. I'm not talking about dick's
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size, but his ability to please you. There is no excuse for getting
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into a sexual agreement with a dude who can't make you come none. The
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first time anyone has sex with someone new, there are nerves, and while
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women are going to get wet, men may not get hard or may not
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last but a few minutes. Give him an opportunity to make up for the
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first fuck that same night, and give yourself additional time to put it on
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him, just in case you zone out during the first session and revert into
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a corpse bride. By the next morning, you will have decided if he's
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worth keeping or if his dick game is weaker than a hulk hogan leg drop.
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If he's garbage, don't feel the need to explain your dissatisfaction when he
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calls you up. Tell him that you're busy. He's not your real friend
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and you're not his jump off. He's your dick, and if you don't
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want to use him anymore, you don't have to explain shit. After not
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having time for him or never hitting him up for a rematch, he'll get
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the hint. Don't be nice. Some women see subpar dick as better than
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any dick, but you're wasting your time with that guy when you could be
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out big game hunting for a dude that can make you squirt. Alternatively,
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this period is also a good test of his mindset. To be honest,
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a spartan pussy will make a man go back on his word, and although
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you laid the ground rules, he may try to amend them and wife you
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if he starts to sweeten up following the sex. His claim about being with
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the arrangement was just talk, and he's not built to be your convenience cock.
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Save the drama and cut him off before he grows too attached. How
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to enjoy you found a man that can eat and beat like a champ and
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doesn't try to blur the lines you set. Be happy, don't get lost
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in the sexual bliss and become too involved. This guy is Papa John's.
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You like ordering from him, but he's free to service other people, and
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you're free to order pizza from Pizza Hut or Rockin Sushi if you are a
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little by curious. Either way, you have no claim to this man and
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he has no claim to you. Keep that in the front of your mind,
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because a constant serving of good dick causes female amnesia. Don't ask him
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who else he's fucking. Don't mention other guys that you may be dating,
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or any other topic that brings to light that you're probably sharing each other.
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Assume that he's fucking other people and be okay with that. As long as
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you're keeping sex safe, it's all good. You can't expect a man to
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agree to an exclusive fuck buddy. It's not fair, nor is it realistic.
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Even if he tells you that you're the only one he's seeing, he's
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going to be looking for a woman that can give him what he needs sexually
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and emotionally. By making it your mind, you turn a relaxed affair into
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something serious and restrictive. This is supposed to be fun. The second you
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start thinking about who else he's seeing, or if he's lying about seeing other
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women, you may as well be in a real fucking relationship. You only
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want sex because you're not ready for the rest. Remember that, don't turn
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the perfect situation into another messy chapter in your life by being sensitive and territorial.
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How to walk away. I've talked about upgrading relationships in chapter nineteen of
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Solving Single, so I won't get into that aspect or revisit how to remix
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those rules. Instead, I'll focus on how to walk away from a purely
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sexual agreement with no hard feelings. There will come a time when he's not
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acting as into it as he used to be. Maybe he's burnt out,
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maybe he wants more. If this happens, it's time for him to go.
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You don't need an Alan Iverson dick on your team, aging and going
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through personal issues that affect his performance. You need a Kevin Durant dick,
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hungry, willing, and able to pull his all into that performance and leave
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that drama outside the bedroom. Additionally, if you're tired of sex with him,
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and it's feeling more like a chore than a rush. Cut it off.
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I know that pussy expires, and I imagine that a penis must go
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through the same process. You don't owe it to him to keep him on
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your roster. Six weeks or six months in. You always have the option
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to cancel his contract. Be direct, not cruel, which means tell him
19:19
straight up that you need a break, as opposed to faking an argument that
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pushes him away. He may try to talk you into coming out of retirement,
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and you may want to call him up during those first few bored weekends,
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but stand your ground. Like all good things that come to an end,
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you have to embrace that it's over and except that you will have to
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get out of that comfort zone and look for someone else to scratch that itch.
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This shouldn't be disheartening. It should be exciting, like buying a new
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car after the lease expires. Why waste this break period with the same fuck
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buddy for a year. You test drove a dark skinned dude with muscles,
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Now go test out a skinny justin Timberlake looking white boy. Variety is good.
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Contrary to popular belief, sex is not dirty. It's natural and if
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done safely, can help relieve stress and anxiety. Taking a break from love
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doesn't mean you have to be celibate. No date zones are to heal,
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but once you finish healing or are close to it, there is nothing wrong
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with having casual sex if that's the kind of woman you are. Some people
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call this a whole phase, but it's more like college. Explore yourself.
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It's more beneficial to explore what you like sexually during a love furlough, so
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there are no questions, reservations, or things left unexplored when you do meet
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that game change that blows you away and locks you down, regardless of why
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you're not looking for a boyfriend now, you will open your heart up eventually,
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and you will get married, be able to look back on this time
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as the chapter where you lived sexually and did the type of nasty shit that
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would make Anna Steel tap out. You don't have to sit around fingers deep
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watching porn hub because you're emotionally unavailable. You can always spartan up and find
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a boy toy to get the job done. The girl who just wants companionship.
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You're good sexually. Your spiral dil do and vivid muppet baby imagination has
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helped you to master the best vaginal and clatoral orgasms of your life. You
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don't need a man physically, nor are you the type that has sex without
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an emotional bond, so a purely sexual relationship is out of the question.
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However, there remains an emptiness. You want a guy friend to go out
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with, to talk to, and to spoon with after that breaking bad marathon,
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but you know your heart isn't ready to buy into the total package,
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so breast sucking is about as far as you'll ever let him go. Men
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hate women like this. Not every boy on girl interaction is either platonic or
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sexual. It often falls into a semi platonic box where you admit that you
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don't want to be boyfriend girlfriend, but concede that you do turn each other
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on. Nasty joking, flirting, and touching without sex can be seen as
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a cock tease, but once again, fuck what a man thinks because they
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invented the art of using women for emotional support. Escapism is common for unhappy
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men. Sexist teased, but his soul purposes to lean on a girl who
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makes him forget about the stress of life until he's ready to open his heart
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again. One woman asked why this guy kept calling her every few months talking
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about how great she was, yet never initiated anything romantically or even sexually in
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all the years she had known him. He wanted her companionship, not her
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box. She was merely a female he could sweet talk and project his feelings
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on without having to get involved with romantically. This was confusing for her,
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but therapeutic for him. Once a guy like this is over his depression or
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slump, the phone call or hangout sessions stop and he goes out to find
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a real girlfriend. Yes, men do have rehab girls who they use purely
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for friendship, and if you are involved with a guy similar to this who
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talks sex but doesn't press for sex, you are most likely his companion fix.
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No one ever gives women the green light to use this same method,
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But I think it's important to learn how to be semi platonic friends with men
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that you're attracted to, because it serves as a training wheel relationship that can
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help restore your confidence when dealing with the opposite sex. I was once involved
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with a girl who had just gotten out of a four year relationship and was
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only two months removed from having an abortion that pretty much ended that love affair.
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To sum it up, this girl was not ready mentally to have a
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boyfriend or even a fuck buddy. However, she did need a friend,
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someone to confide in while her heart healed and helped her get to the point
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where she could trust men again. I didn't sign up for that, and
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I had no idea all of this had gone on when she first gave me
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her number to hang out, despite me wanting something more than just friendship.
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Initially, we did become friends. Of course, I tried to have sex,
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but she guarded that kouchie like a goalie and kept it at kissing.
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I knew there was something holding her back emotionally, so I began to ask
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her about what had gone on, and slowly she revealed her backstory. Instead
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of running away because I didn't get the sex, I maintained that friendship still
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did me, but saved her a seat in my heart because she was a
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good girl who was fun to hang around. After three months, she began
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to feel less depressed and our relationship faded because she no longer needed me to
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make her feel better. After not speaking for weeks, I received a rent
26:00
booty call. She was ready for sex and di obliged. We never became
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an item, and we didn't carry on a physical relationship. It was just
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sex. She had completed her road back from her breakup and abortion, and
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this was simple closure. I share that story to point out that relationships with
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men, even those that you are attracted to and who are attracted to you,
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do not have to be sexual. You don't owe a man a blowjob
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for being your semi platonic friend, and if you set the rules, you
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can have his companionship while you take time to heal. Some of you are
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discouraged because you haven't been able to keep the attention of a man without sex.
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Hell, some of you haven't been able to keep their attention with sex,
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and so initiating this type of situation is seemingly impossible. Stop having such
26:59
a lower opinion of yourself. A remarkable woman doesn't have to drop her panties
27:04
or make her mouth work to enchant a man, no matter how much you
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want to believe all guys expect this. Where guys will only put up with
27:14
this, there are females who men are just happy to have in their lives.
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Every woman should strive to reach that level of captivation where a man can
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fall in love with her spirit without the incentive of her vagina. If you
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want to get out of the house and enjoy the company of the opposite sex
27:34
while you figure your life out, then that's exactly what you should do.
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You can acquire multiple friends who don't get benefits, or just one special guy
27:45
who renews your faith in men. All it takes is initiative. How to
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initiate? Rest assured that the majority of men you spew that not looking for
28:00
anything serious line too will think you're full of shit. History has shown men
28:07
that women say that to brace themselves for possible rejection, and rarely does it
28:11
mean that she doesn't want a boyfriend. You can't convince him verbally that you
28:18
aren't like the rest of these girls who say that, because a girl saying
28:22
she's different is another thing. Men here all the time. You have to
28:29
prove that you aren't a relationship girl with your actions. The ball is in
28:33
your court, and the only thing you have to do is blatantly define the
28:37
nature of the relationship during the first week that you're introduced to him. For
28:44
example, if you exchange numbers with a guy while waiting at the valet parking
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stand, call him up and talk to him normally to get a sense of
28:52
his personality, and then hang out with him once before you explain your situation.
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There is no point in spilling your life story to a guy that may
29:04
turn out to be a pussy chasen asshole. The same way that I want
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those women who are strictly looking for Dickley to be patient and examine a guy's
29:15
character, I need you to put that same time in. Women naively fall
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into the trap that the nice guy they meet that first day, or the
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charismatic guy that's on the other end of the phone the first few days is
29:30
truly who that man is, but spending time will reveal the truth. If
29:37
you go out, have a good time and click with this guy, then
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make that offer. Inform him that you're taking a break from dating. Don't
29:48
go into details, just express how much fun you're having with him and how
29:52
you'd like to continue it, but only under certain conditions. Unlike a virgin
29:59
who should and talk about sex until she gets to know a man for at
30:02
least a month, you should open up about being celibate and how you're looking
30:07
for a guy to kick it with, not reverse cowgirl. Be careful how
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you were of this. It's very important not to tease him or lead him
30:18
on, as if he plays his cards right, he's going to get some.
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Avoid the words waiting for the right guy. Any egotistical male will think
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he is that right guy and think he just needs to break you down to
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hit that. Be blunt and tell him that you think he's cool. Admit
30:40
the attraction, but drill into his head that sex is off the table.
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You want to get to know him, but you don't want to waste his
30:48
time if he's looking to get some. Once that's understood, give him an
30:53
out. If you want to fall back, it's cool, but if you're
30:57
down to just kick it, then prove it by calling me this weekend to
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hang out. Obviously, a man in your face will tell you what you
31:07
want to hear, but by passing the ball to him, you see if
31:12
he's really about this no sex life. Either he'll realize that you're serious and
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not call you, or he'll throw caution to the wind and hit you up
31:22
to hang thus agreeing to your rules. How to test sex will always be
31:33
the elephant in the room, so talk about it early, and often not
31:37
in a teasing way like let me see your dick, but in a joking
31:42
way, like asking nasty questions about things he's done with other women or commenting
31:48
on other girls you may see on TV or out in public. You don't
31:52
want to get him hard and horny. You want to cut through the sexual
31:56
tension by making it a non issue so he's comfortable. The second part of
32:02
this test is to have a house state. Coming over to chill with a
32:07
guy who knows he's going to get your pussy and you know is going to
32:13
get your pussy is always a bad idea, But if you are really serious
32:19
about not wanting sex, just companionship, then you have to put your money
32:23
where your vagina is. Let him hang in private with you feel you up.
32:30
No man is going to sit close to a girl and not get a
32:32
little feel on. It's virtually impossible even let him try to go for it.
32:39
However, by the end of the night you should have held him off
32:43
and proven that you aren't a liar. You may think, won't that make
32:50
him mad and he won't want to hang out anymore. Good If he can't
32:54
handle being around you with an erection, then he's not going to be able
32:59
to last long under your rules anyway. This is about weeding out the real
33:06
from the fake. I had one girl in college who told me, feel
33:10
all the ass you want, but you're just teasing yourself because I ain't taken
33:15
off these jeans. I was always allowed to touch, but I eventually stopped
33:22
because, as she said, it was only serving to get me all worked
33:25
up with nowhere to stick. It will take a while for a guy to
33:30
transition from potential lover to full blown friend, but these first steps test his
33:37
will power and yours, and if you can weather the storm, you two
33:43
may have something special. How to enjoy take advantage of him by going out
33:51
to places you want to go, unlike a boyfriend where you may be afraid
33:54
to ask him to take you places. This is your boo. It's not
34:00
taking you anywhere. He's simply accompanying you. If money is an issue,
34:06
you two can go Dutch. If he gets into the habit of trying to
34:08
pay because he is a gentleman, don't exploit the homie, force him to
34:14
take your money, or surprise treat him. The entire purpose of a relationship
34:19
like this isn't to use someone financially, but to use him emotionally to help
34:24
you heal or get your swagger back. We all use someone for something,
34:30
it's the nature of human beings. Some women use men to make them come,
34:37
some use guys to pay their rent. You're using this one to renew
34:42
your trust in men, and there is nothing shameful in that. One thing
34:47
I need to touch on is the guy's other relationships. He's most likely going
34:53
to be dating other women who he can actually have sex with, or dealing
34:59
with some silk that's just giving it up in hopes that she can get the
35:02
same type of treatment you're getting while keeping your panties on. Do not dwell
35:08
on his other relationships. Do not make this into big brother little sister and
35:15
try to get too deep into his love life. If he wants to confide
35:19
in you for advice, fine, but don't make it a habit to chime
35:23
in on his girls. This is supposed to be a sanctuary relationship where you
35:30
two are fake together for those two hours that you hang out. With that
35:35
in mind, beware of guys who already have girlfriends, because the competitive nature
35:40
of women, even those who don't want anything serious, can leak out and
35:45
make it a contest for his attention. Keep it light. He's your boy
35:52
crush. You escape from life with, not your boyfriend in training who you
35:57
have to protect from other women how to walk away. There may come a
36:05
point where you begin to want something more again, I point to chapter nineteen.
36:12
If you're into amending the rules most of the time, I find that
36:16
wanting to upgrade this kind of situation is a false alarm. Women get comfortable
36:23
and forget that the goal isn't to fall in love, but to fix all
36:28
of those issues that were holding them back. For instance, if you're still
36:32
trying to climb that corporate ladder, or you're mainly focused on finishing your degree
36:37
program, you are being hypocritical by trying to turn your companion into your legit
36:45
boyfriend. Sure you have time to go out randomly after work or between classes,
36:52
but this isn't a true relationship where you are expected to spend time.
36:57
If he were to become your man, please leave. That would come with
37:00
an entirely new commitment and responsibility. If your feelings are getting too invested in
37:07
a romantic way and you can't turn off that side, then you need to
37:14
do what my homegirl did, and stop calling as much, stop agreeing to
37:17
hang out as much, and wean yourself off him. Remember he's not meant
37:23
to be your bff. He's your rehab guy. Alternatively, if you see
37:31
that this dude is really starting to fall in love with you and trying to
37:36
redefine the rules before you're ready, then you have to be tough and distance
37:40
yourself. This distancing can be just as hard as a breakup, even though
37:46
you are technically friends. This isn't a friend zone type guy or someone who
37:52
you are just cool with. Most likely, you have that chemistry where if
37:58
you were in a better space, he would be your man. This means
38:02
that you have to old yell or his ass. There's no easy way to
38:07
kill a relationship. You have to face it head on, confront him in
38:12
person, and say something along the lines of you know, I love you,
38:17
but I have so many things that I have to focus on, and
38:21
if we were to make this serious, the complications would be a distraction.
38:27
I can't give you what you want and I refuse to hold you back,
38:31
so this has to be it. He'll cry encounter all day long, but
38:38
you have to follow through and ensure that the calls and chill sessions come to
38:45
a complete stop. Don't end this like a man. Men get into these
38:51
situations all the time, and after forming a strong non sexual bond, the
38:54
female friend often wants to be something more. Yet these guys don't have the
39:00
balls to let these women off the hook with the truth that he's not ready
39:05
for that, So the woman becomes depressed, confused, and ends up traumatized
39:09
from what was supposed to be a relaxed situation. Be better than that,
39:16
ladies. Keeping a person around who hopes to be with you is selfish.
39:22
We all know people who are in love and can't really go out and find
39:25
someone new because part of their heart is unhold, desperately waiting for that phone
39:31
to ring with that person they love on the other end saying they're ready.
39:37
Don't torture your companion, even if you aren't completely done healing, even if
39:44
you don't want to go back to being bored, even if you're attached emotionally.
39:49
It's on you to be the shotgun that puts that dog down the girl
39:55
who just wants it all. You don't want an uncalled penis or a semi
40:01
platonic boo thing. You want to date normally with the option to both have
40:07
sex and lay up under whatever guy you feel like. This section is for
40:10
you ladies who want a man both as a sexual toy and as a loyal
40:16
companion, but don't want to get attached. Here's what you do. Stop
40:22
lying to yourself. What I just described isn't having your cake and eating it
40:28
too, it's having a boyfriend. A guy who comes over to fuck you
40:31
is just a dick. A guy who comes over just to hang out and
40:36
talk is a friend. Call it what you want or don't label it anything.
40:42
But when you combine sex with quality time, you don't get not ready
40:46
for a relationship. You're in one because that combination creates a fucking boyfriend.
40:53
Let's not try to bullshit one another. If you are actively seeking the complete
40:59
package yet claiming you're not ready, you are a coward. Coward should be
41:06
the ratchet middle name on your Facebook page, because that's what you have become.
41:12
There are women who honestly aren't ready to date. Seriously, they have
41:16
the right to go out dirty, dance on a guy, get his number,
41:21
and use him as a past time. Men respect that kind of woman
41:27
because she's not confusing, she's not trying to trojan horse her way into his
41:30
heart. She truly isn't in the right place to love, so she just
41:36
wants to have fun. Then there are you women who want it all and
41:42
pretend to be emotionally unavailable, But like tickets to a Tyrese concert, you
41:47
are available. It's just that people aren't lining up to see you. Bored
41:53
women who are afraid to date are not the same as damaged women who shouldn't
41:58
date. But women love to front as if they are in that mental struggle.
42:05
While you talk a good game about having been hurt before or not being
42:08
ready, the moment you get good dick or you find a shoulder to lean
42:14
on, you start acting weird and asking, so where's this going. It's
42:20
not going anywhere because you said you didn't want a boyfriend. A month and
42:23
a half later and you're still catching an attitude and back to talking about how
42:29
men are just frustrating. But it isn't the man that has stressed you out.
42:35
You falsified your feelings. It's like those rich kids who started acting like
42:39
outcasts. When Nirvana spark the grunge movement, lonely ask girls turn into attention
42:45
whores who want people to think they're only single because their career driven or unavailable
42:52
lies. I have no stomach for liars and manipulators, especially, and there
43:00
was no reason to lie in the first place. And there are armies of
43:04
men that feel the same way. You went through a bad breakup. You
43:08
have a lot of school work, or you work crazy shifts at work.
43:12
So fucking what. Those women I described at the top of this chapter were
43:17
the type that truly aren't emotionally ready. You, on the other hand,
43:23
are just being lazy and scared. Eighty percent of the women that tell me
43:29
they don't want to date seriously are full of shit, real spartans who come
43:35
up to me for advice and say, I'm not looking for the mushy stuff.
43:38
I just want to get my box eight once a week. They are
43:43
keeping it real. You, on the other hand, are letting your ego
43:46
and pride mask your true desire for romance. So let's be upfront. You
43:52
want to start dating again, but you're afraid of one of these three things.
43:59
One he will be like your last boyfriend and disappoint you. Two,
44:05
you don't know how to get out of the house and attract the men you
44:07
find attractive. Three, you assume decent men run away from girls who even
44:15
hint at wanting a commitment down the line. Admitting you want love is the
44:22
first step in attracting love. As long as you continue to go about your
44:28
life pretending you're not looking for something serious, you're going to attract fraudulent men.
44:34
If you want men to recognize your greatness, start by being honest in
44:39
terms of what you're looking for. There are females who are grossly over dramatic
44:45
and cry wolf the moment they have a fallout with a dude. I know
44:51
a nineteen year old girl who had maybe two legitimate boyfriends. The last one
44:57
started playing games and they broke up. He didn't cheat beat her, nor
45:00
did they have a child together that he abandoned. Not to undermine her feelings,
45:07
but it was a normal breakup. Suddenly she started talking all of this,
45:12
I can't give my heart to boys. I need to focus on me.
45:15
I'll probably never get married because it's messy out here. This is what
45:22
happens when you sit in front of the computer obsessing over one guy. There
45:25
was nothing wrong with her, nothing keeping her from getting back out there and
45:30
interviewing new men. But like a lot of women. This girl followed the
45:36
leader, the leader being this unified concept of fuck men. All they do
45:40
is break our hearts. Get over yourself. You are a girl, dammit,
45:46
And despite what mean, mugging ratchets or fake feminists will try to tell
45:51
you, you do need a man. There is nothing weak about wanting love,
45:55
and there is nothing foolish about looking for love like a female. Is
46:00
not a negative thing if you are a female. So many modern ladies have
46:07
been raised or inspired by women who teach this idea that you don't need a
46:12
man for nothing. Being independent is great, pay your own bills, buy
46:16
your own car, rah rah rah. But let's get serious. You can't
46:21
kiss yourself good morning, you can't share inside jokes with yourself, and you
46:25
can't marry yourself. Girl power is real, and you don't need males to
46:31
buy you flowers, kill spiders, or fix your toilet. But don't be
46:36
so blinded by postmodernism that you lie about the emotional need. Men need love,
46:44
women need love. All humans are fueled by a desire to be loved
46:50
and appreciated by another person. You can sit there, roll your eyes and
46:55
make science stepping statements like money is the love of your life or your child's.
47:00
Unconditional love is enough, but that's not humanly possible. The ultimate feeling
47:07
that has always driven this species is passionate romantic love. Admit that you do
47:15
need a man, because even the most prideful man will concede that he needs
47:20
a woman's love. Take down that ice cold front and stop hiding your femininity.
47:28
You don't have to be thirsty for a man or sent to your life
47:31
on finding one, but it will save you years of stress and thousands of
47:36
dollars in therapy if you can freely acknowledge that you want love but you're afraid
47:42
that there won't be someone who wants to love you back. I am certain
47:47
that every one of you can find a man that will love you the way
47:51
you desire to be loved. However, if you're hiding behind your school,
47:57
your job, your child, your weight, your love, because your finances
48:00
or your distrust of men, then you won't find that life partner. You'll
48:07
let your prime years slip by and end up settling for dick. In need
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