Latest / Armstrong & Getty One More Thing / Like a Trash Bin
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: What you have to understand is in Great Britain, they
- 0:02Speaker 1: call a garbage can a bin. It's one more thing. What?
- 0:07Speaker 1: Armstrong and Getty. One more thing. Like a trash bin.
- 0:14Speaker 2: Now that's a tease. I came across this tweet from J.K.
- 0:23Speaker 2: Rowling before we get to that. She's. She's pretty snarky.
- 0:27Speaker 2: She's the one who wrote the Harry Potter books and
- 0:29Speaker 2: seems to spend her entire life battling people on Twitter
- 0:34Speaker 2: about the trans issue. If I became a billionaire, I
- 0:39Speaker 2: don't know that that's what I'd do with my time. But,
- 0:41Speaker 2: you know, whatever she enjoys. Somebody had some trans activist
- 0:48Speaker 2: person who appears to be trans had tweeted out. Trans
- 0:53Speaker 2: acceptance will not be complete until cis people are okay
- 0:56Speaker 2: with the idea of not knowing what genitals their date
- 0:59Speaker 2: has until they have sex.
- 1:01Speaker 1: Yeah, good idea.
- 1:02Speaker 2: It's literally so very not a big deal. So you
- 1:06Speaker 2: want to live in a world where I meet somebody,
- 1:12Speaker 2: don't know whether they got a penis or not, don't care,
- 1:16Speaker 2: and find out The first time we get intimate, and
- 1:20Speaker 2: I'm perfectly okay with whichever it is. Whatever it turns
- 1:24Speaker 2: out to be, yeah. That's the world you're hoping for.
- 1:28Speaker 1: Yes, two innies, two outies, one of each, whatever.
- 1:31Speaker 2: It's fine. I'm sure we're on, I'm sure we're marching
- 1:34Speaker 2: that direction, and someday that's the world we will live in.
- 1:36Speaker 1: That is so crazy.
- 1:37Speaker 2: Anyway, J.K. Rowling's pretty funny response was, tricky. Because I
- 1:42Speaker 2: already know what genitals my husband has. Would you accept
- 1:46Speaker 2: both of us acting surprised once we're naked? Or could
- 1:48Speaker 2: we just shake hands first and agree that we'll soldier
- 1:51Speaker 2: on if something's changed since last time?
- 1:58Speaker 1: That is dryly fabulous.
- 2:01Speaker 2: But that, I mean, the whole thing, obviously, has been
- 2:06Speaker 2: a complicated conversation. But the idea that you think the
- 2:09Speaker 2: perfect world would be I don't care. I'm not interested.
- 2:16Speaker 2: And I'm willing to wait until the first time we
- 2:19Speaker 2: show each other. And then I will react with no
- 2:22Speaker 2: emotion whatsoever to either a penis or a vagina. It
- 2:25Speaker 2: doesn't matter to me. I have no interest whatsoever.
- 2:28Speaker 1: It reminds me of our discussion that until fairly recently,
- 2:32Speaker 1: you wouldn't have the slightest idea what somebody's politics were.
- 2:36Speaker 1: If you're just meeting with perhaps a romantic prospect in mind,
- 2:40Speaker 1: not only would you not care, you wouldn't even think
- 2:43Speaker 1: of it, not like for a really long time. They want...
- 2:47Speaker 1: Your actual physical sex to be that.
- 2:50Speaker 2: So I'll bet there they do want to know that.
- 2:54Speaker 2: So like your dating profiles and everything like that, you
- 2:55Speaker 2: would have to nail down your politics. You would discuss
- 2:58Speaker 2: what kind of music you like and all kinds of
- 3:01Speaker 2: different issues. But the one that we're not going to
- 3:03Speaker 2: even touch is whether you got a penis or a vagina.
- 3:07Speaker 2: We'll just discover that together someday. And by the way,
- 3:09Speaker 2: it doesn't matter to me what you have, which is
- 3:11Speaker 2: so crazy.
- 3:12Speaker 1: I might not even remark on it. Having found out.
- 3:17Speaker 2: Because you see, when I get to that moment, I'm really, really,
- 3:20Speaker 2: really fingers crossed, toes crossed.
- 3:22Speaker 1: It's a vagina. I have specific intent. Yes.
- 3:26Speaker 3: My brain is going, this could be a reality show.
- 3:29Speaker 3: You know, they do like married at first sight.
- 3:31Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 3:32Speaker 2: It's like I saw, I think Netflix or somebody had
- 3:35Speaker 2: one a while back where everybody kept their age to
- 3:38Speaker 2: themselves because it was a bunch of people that don't
- 3:41Speaker 2: look their age. So you didn't tell anybody your age
- 3:45Speaker 2: and then they got together. And then I guess I
- 3:47Speaker 2: never watched long enough because it was so stupid to
- 3:49Speaker 2: get to the big reveal.
- 3:50Speaker 1: I'm actually 63. Oh my God. You are?
- 3:54Speaker 2: In this case, it'll be, I was really hoping for
- 3:56Speaker 2: a giant egg because that would fit. That would fit
- 3:58Speaker 2: with my penis thing really perfectly. I mean, they go
- 4:00Speaker 2: together like peanut butter and jelly. I mean, like Abbott
- 4:03Speaker 2: and Costello. It's really a good team. But here we
- 4:05Speaker 2: are with two penises, so I don't know what now.
- 4:08Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. Well, you shouldn't even care. You bigot.
- 4:10Speaker 3: Right.
- 4:11Speaker 2: I don't care.
- 4:11Speaker 1: It doesn't matter to me.
- 4:12Speaker 2: I'm going to react exactly the same no matter which
- 4:15Speaker 2: it turns out to be.
- 4:16Speaker 1: Anybody got an idea for what the show would be called?
- 4:21Speaker 1: What's my junk?
- 4:23Speaker 2: Yeah, it's got more of a game show aspect to it.
- 4:29Speaker 1: All right.
- 4:29Speaker 2: Where you would just, you'd have contestants and a buzzer.
- 4:34Speaker 1: Exactly. Behind the fly.
- 4:38Speaker 2: I think it's a man who has man. And then
- 4:41Speaker 2: they walk around, they drop their pants and you take
- 4:43Speaker 2: a look.
- 4:44Speaker 1: Oh, more bigotry. A man can have a vagina, Jack. Right,
- 4:48Speaker 1: I shouldn't have used that. Remember.
- 4:49Speaker 2: Stop using gendered language.
- 4:51Speaker 1: You're such a transphobe.
- 4:56Speaker 2: Okay, so what's your little story, Katie, before.
- 4:58Speaker 1: We get to Joe?
- 4:59Speaker 3: Oh, it is so little compared to that topic we
- 5:01Speaker 3: just had. I had to go into mama bear mode
- 5:04Speaker 3: at the store over the weekend. So I had Van,
- 5:06Speaker 3: my little three-month-old in the stroller. Cute.
- 5:09Speaker 2: Cute. And I have to tell you, old ladies, they
- 5:12Speaker 2: love babies, man. No doubt. They love the babies.
- 5:16Speaker 3: And I'm standing there waiting for someone to get the
- 5:19Speaker 3: hell out of the way because everybody seems to always
- 5:21Speaker 3: be in the way when you're at the store. But anyway,
- 5:22Speaker 3: this woman comes up and she goes, oh, I.
- 5:25Speaker 2: Just love babies.
- 5:26Speaker 3: And she pulls the visor back on the stroller.
- 5:29Speaker 2: Hands off the stroller, lady.
- 5:31Speaker 1: And kind of like reach, like, it.
- 5:34Speaker 2: Was like slow motion. She looked like she was going
- 5:36Speaker 2: to reach for him.
- 5:36Speaker 3: So I kind of put my arm out and I
- 5:37Speaker 3: was like, Yeah, isn't he adorable? And she kind of like,
- 5:40Speaker 3: you know, snapped her hands back.
- 5:44Speaker 2: To go with what we were just talking about.
- 5:45Speaker 1: The balls on that woman. The balls on that woman.
- 5:47Speaker 1: I could never. Out of bounds.
- 5:50Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 5:51Speaker 3: Just comes up, cranks the thing back, and I'm like, oh.
- 5:54Speaker 2: I remember that, too. They're so willing to get up
- 5:57Speaker 2: so close and start touching your baby.
- 5:58Speaker 1: Like, dude.
- 5:59Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 6:00Speaker 3: Ma'am. Almost punched an elderly woman. That was my story
- 6:03Speaker 3: from the beginning.
- 6:04Speaker 2: I would never think of touching somebody else's baby. Right?
- 6:08Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. And just cranking the thing back on the stroller?
- 6:13Speaker 2: Right.
- 6:13Speaker 1: Here, let me take a look.
- 6:14Speaker 2: Yeah, let me see what's in there, huh? Let me
- 6:16Speaker 2: stick my finger in his mouth. I don't feel any
- 6:18Speaker 2: teeth in there yet, huh? Anyway.
- 6:21Speaker 1: Wow. Can I stick my finger in your son's belly button?
- 6:25Speaker 3: No, you cannot, Michael.
- 6:26Speaker 1: Give him a little tickle. Good Lord, people. Don't do this.
- 6:31Speaker 1: Of course, if you don't know to not do this,
- 6:33Speaker 1: you're probably not listening to this podcast. True.
- 6:36Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
- 6:37Speaker 1: All right, so the whole, in the UK, they call
- 6:40Speaker 1: a garbage can a bin, a dust bin. Again, fascinating stuff.
- 6:44Speaker 1: Or what have you. I mention that because the anti-establishment,
- 6:54Speaker 1: how would you describe the whole phenomenon that brought on
- 6:57Speaker 1: Brexit and Trump and all the crazy political movements going
- 7:02Speaker 1: on in the developed world? It's just discontent in some sort.
- 7:05Speaker 2: We're just unhappy with the way things are. Throw the
- 7:08Speaker 2: bums out, whoever the bums are.
- 7:10Speaker 1: When that numbskull who will last probably six weeks became
- 7:14Speaker 1: prime minister, his seat in parliament opened up, I guess.
- 7:19Speaker 1: It's an odd system. But Nigel Farage, the weirdly, is
- 7:26Speaker 1: he right-wing reform UK leader, is running for the seat.
- 7:31Speaker 1: And they had a runoff. top two vote getters advanced
- 7:34Speaker 1: to the final much like, you know, our elections in
- 7:37Speaker 1: some cases, but, uh, and Farage was the number one finisher.
- 7:40Speaker 1: The number two finisher was count bin face, the self-described
- 7:45Speaker 1: intergalactic space warrior, who is a guy who goes around
- 7:50Speaker 1: in a homemade, but extremely well-made like spaceman outfit. But his,
- 7:59Speaker 1: he has like a garbage can face. Are you looking
- 8:03Speaker 1: at his costume right now, Katie? No, I'm on my
- 8:06Speaker 1: way there. Oh, I should have been face. Oh, there's
- 8:10Speaker 1: been face.
- 8:10Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:11Speaker 1: Oh, it's a good, good costume, isn't it? Yeah, it's great. Yeah.
- 8:17Speaker 1: Text that to the crew. I should have earlier, but.
- 8:21Speaker 3: He reminds me of like a dubstep DJ. You know,
- 8:24Speaker 3: they always have the big things on their heads and
- 8:25Speaker 3: they're up there spinning.
- 8:27Speaker 1: No, I have no idea what that is. Why?
- 8:29Speaker 2: Why did you decide to have a garbage can for
- 8:31Speaker 2: a head?
- 8:32Speaker 1: I think it's a comment on the politics of great Britain.
- 8:35Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
- 8:36Speaker 1: Yeah. Count garbage can face is going to, I mean,
- 8:40Speaker 1: it's the Bodie McBoat face of candidates and he's in
- 8:43Speaker 1: the runoff. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Zap that around Katie.
- 8:47Speaker 1: It's on its way. Okay, great.
- 8:49Speaker 2: I have a feeling he's going to win.
- 8:52Speaker 1: He's a, he might beat Nigel Farage. It's certainly possible.
- 8:56Speaker 1: It depends how alienated Brits are really. There it is.
- 9:00Speaker 2: That's a pretty good costume.
- 9:02Speaker 1: Yeah, isn't it? A little slip for his eyes lights up. Oh,
- 9:07Speaker 1: that's nice. So he's got a garbage can head that
- 9:10Speaker 1: he can look through like a portal, like he's a
- 9:13Speaker 1: Disney character, not a Disney World or something, Disneyland. And
- 9:17Speaker 1: it appears he's got some hockey shoulder pads painted black
- 9:22Speaker 1: and like a weird groin covering thing. Anyway, he has
- 9:27Speaker 1: unveiled his manifesto. His full manifesto is actually some pretty
- 9:32Speaker 1: brilliant political satire. It is a 20-point plan. One, I
- 9:37Speaker 1: will boost the region's economy, prestige, and fame. Two, I
- 9:42Speaker 1: will cut your taxes and raise everyone else's. Let's see.
- 9:50Speaker 1: I don't know. It's pounds, but I'm going to say
- 9:53Speaker 1: a dollar just to simplify. Bus fares will be capped
- 9:57Speaker 1: at $ 1. 99 and 99 flake ice creams to cost more
- 10:00Speaker 1: than 99 cents. That must be a thing in Britain.
- 10:04Speaker 1: I promise to spend more time in my district than
- 10:06Speaker 1: in Washington, D.C., and to champion the area. Wow. Let's see. MPs,
- 10:14Speaker 1: members of parliament who resign mid-parliament, will be barred from
- 10:17Speaker 1: the resulting by-election. Okay, that's a comment. I pledge to
- 10:21Speaker 1: build at least one affordable house. I like this guy.
- 10:27Speaker 1: Arcade grabber games will be made fairer so players actually
- 10:31Speaker 1: have a chance to win. Finally.
- 10:37Speaker 2: Now that's funny. My kids would be all for that.
- 10:40Speaker 2: I'm voting for that guy.
- 10:43Speaker 1: Let's see. Skipping ahead. Arcade grabber games. There will be
- 10:47Speaker 1: a windfall tax on cozy crime novels written by written
- 10:52Speaker 1: by celebrities. I have a feeling that's a comment on
- 10:55Speaker 1: something that's happened in Britain, but that's funny. Uh, let's see.
- 10:59Speaker 1: Potholes will be filled using copies of the labor party manifesto. Uh,
- 11:04Speaker 1: let's see. Um, people who drive past Clacton station, that's
- 11:10Speaker 1: the town with annoyingly loud exhausts will lose their driver's licenses. Um,
- 11:16Speaker 1: Let's see. We will hold a referendum on whether Pluto
- 11:21Speaker 1: should regain its planet status. The hand dryer in the
- 11:25Speaker 1: gent's toilet at the Great Himalayas restaurant, Southport, will be
- 11:29Speaker 1: moved to a more sensible position. I like that one.
- 11:33Speaker 2: It's very specific.
- 11:34Speaker 1: It's his favorite restaurant, I guess. Count Binface will represent
- 11:40Speaker 1: the UK at Eurovision 2027. That's the big pop music
- 11:44Speaker 1: contest that Britain has. So he's declaring himself the representative.
- 11:49Speaker 1: And he says, I stand by my past manifestos. I
- 11:53Speaker 1: don't know what that is. Speaker phones. Nationalizing Adele. Like,
- 11:59Speaker 1: he's nationalizing the oil industry. I read his argument. He
- 12:03Speaker 1: was like, all of her songs are practically public domain anyway,
- 12:06Speaker 1: so we should be getting her... Her royalties. Let's see.
- 12:10Speaker 1: There it is.
- 12:11Speaker 3: Yep.
- 12:12Speaker 2: That's pretty good.
- 12:13Speaker 1: I will lower your taxes and raise everyone else's. Yeah.
- 12:17Speaker 1: That is good.
- 12:19Speaker 2: We're in a snarky mood, Western civilization.
- 12:22Speaker 1: He could win.
- 12:22Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
- 12:24Speaker 1: Count Binface.
- 12:27Speaker 2: When's the election?
- 12:30Speaker 1: I don't know. They just held the... Yeah, I don't
- 12:35Speaker 1: know when the big election is coming up. I will
- 12:40Speaker 1: have to check.
- 12:40Speaker 2: But he made the top two.
- 12:42Speaker 1: Yeah. Well done, Count. And, you know, it represents the
- 12:46Speaker 1: tradition of royalty as well as a nobleman.
- 12:50Speaker 2: I wonder where the hand dryer is. Sometimes they're, you know,
- 12:53Speaker 2: like right behind the door. So you're going to get
- 12:56Speaker 2: whacked in the head while you're trying to stand there.
- 12:59Speaker 1: Well, not anymore. Not if Count Binface gets elected.
- 13:04Speaker 2: Katie, the old lady who waters the produce in the
- 13:07Speaker 2: grocery store, she wants to blow raspberries on your son's stomach.
- 13:14Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.