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Why You Keep Abandoning Yourself · Reclaiming Consciousness

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I have been continuously surprised at the level of codependency that I was operating from for my whole life.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: You have like set up this pattern where you completely abandon yourself unconsciously and make it about the other person because you believe on an unconscious level that that is the way that you will get love, connection, and ultimately survive.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Elise Bassine, trauma and breath work expert and creator of the Metamorphosis Method, the only methodology bridging the gap between spiritual healing and clinical trauma work.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: In this podcast, you'll discover my unique perspective on trauma healing and how it is the gateway to fully reclaiming your consciousness.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: You'll hear stories and teachings that expand your mind as you discover how every relationship challenge, business block, or limiting pattern is an invitation to reclaim the parts of your consciousness you unknowingly gave away.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready to go deep.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So this week it's just me, and I wanted to talk about a couple topics that I feel like have been really alive for me, really alive for my clients, and really reflective of like the energy that we're feeling right now in the collective in terms of the way that we're shifting.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: So especially those of us who have been doing the deeper work for a long time, you know, one of them I always talk about is I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but I talk to everybody about this all the time, which is that it feels very hard to schedule things in advance.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like in the moment is the best way to do things.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so much of what's been happening for me lately is like I can't really make plans that far ahead.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if I do, they might have to be canceled.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just to me a reflection of these different energies that we're in, the Uranus and Gemini, the changes of like all these planets going into Aries.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're operating in a very different energy now.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And there's also like the whole human design thing that is supposed to happen in 2027, where there is this big shift in human design.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's like these different energies that we operate from.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And we have been operating in the cross of planning for the last, I don't know, three or four hundred years or something.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And now we are moving in in 2027 to it's called the cross of the sleeping phoenix.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's all about the individual, right?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it's kind of like the Pluto in Aquarius energy, too, which is about the individual.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And before we were operating more around like this collective thinking or the collective agreeing upon what reality is, and now we're moving more into the focus being on the individual and your perspective being the thing that matters, not having to rely on what the systems tell you or what other people agree is like the right way to live.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we're seeing that, and I see that with so many of the women I work with who are like, I was told that if I follow this plan and these set of rules, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids, then I would be happy.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: But like, why am I not happy?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Or they're having this internal conflict between being the version of themselves that they created to get love, right?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: That they created to get their needs met, and then the version of themselves that is authentic, that they are really feeling called to be.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And this, like, this conflict between those two versions of themselves, you know?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like this feeling of feeling like you have to break out of this version of you that no longer feels authentic and step into this version of you that you know you're meant to be, even though it's super scary, and the old version feels comfortable, and you know that there's certain things that you can rely on around that, it still feels suffocating and it feels like it's not you anymore, you know?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that is one of the biggest like energies we're feeling right now.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: But there are a few things I wanted to talk about kind of within that that I see coming up.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And one of them is really around codependency.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I don't use this word very often because I feel like whenever there's a word that is like so in the vernacular of the collective or like in the healing space, I feel like it ends up being misused or misinterpreted, and people don't actually know what it means or they oversimplify it.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I refrain from using it a lot for that reason.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: However, I think as I've been doing the deeper work on myself, obviously, and with my clients who are advancing more, so much of the layers that we begin to peel back are around valuing yourself and the coping mechanisms that we created to stay safe in childhood, and how those coping mechanisms actually require us to value someone else above ourselves, right?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: To value what your partner needs above you or what your kids need above you or the people closest to you.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And again, as a parent, obviously there's you know sacrifices you have to make and you have to put your kids first and prioritize them and all that.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying you don't.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: However, I think there is this collective shift towards understanding like what you are doing out of like guilt, shame, and obligation versus what you actually want to do.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like this is such a layered topic because in childhood we create coping mechanisms to stay safe, meaning, like if you had a parent who you could tell in some way was not either capable of being there for you in a certain way, even if it was emotionally, or you could tell that there was some sort of unpredictability with them, right?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like you couldn't rely on them to prioritize your safety, not because they didn't want to, but because they weren't capable, right?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't even mean physical safety, I mean emotional safety.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: I mean just being attuned to your energy, right?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: And knowing what you need and having the ability to make it about you instead of it being about them, and that you are just there more to serve their needs, right?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I've I've talked about this a lot before when I talk about the boomer generation and how the boomer generation has Pluto and Leo.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And Pluto in Leo, the like shadow side of that placement is narcissism.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why we'll see a lot of the boomer generation can have narcissistic qualities.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean I'm saying they're all narcissists.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's a spectrum.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: However, I notice that a lot of my clients, their parents, or especially their moms, will have some sort of narcissistic tendency.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that is why.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, and again, it doesn't mean it's not black and white, it's just an expression of the personality based on trauma, where you really don't have the capacity to see things from someone else's perspective, or a lot of the behavior is self-serving, meaning like, how can my kids make me look good or what can they do for me versus having the ability to really tune into who they are and what they need.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if you had a parent who couldn't do that, you would have created some sort of codependent coping mechanism to stay safe and to survive.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: And as kids, we don't even realize that we're doing that.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like we're sitting there being like, oh, my I'm not getting what I need.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Let me do this.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's not conscious, it's literally an automated response.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's a survival response to what we're perceiving in our environment, right?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of facing this feeling of, oh my gosh, I don't know if I can rely on this person to give me what I need, it's more like you automatically respond by taking responsibility for your parents' feelings or holding them emotionally or being overly enmeshed with them or tuned in with them in a codependent way so that you can get your needs met.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: But as I always say, our relationship with our mothers creates the imprint for how we do relationships in general.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So then when you get older and you get into relationships, most of them will be built on some form of codependency because of those early survival coping mechanisms, right?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of it is very much unconscious.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And as I've been peeling back the layers of this for myself, I have been continuously surprised at the level of codependency that I was operating from for my whole life.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll probably do a whole other episode about this.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I have to, you know, I want to be respectful of my husband, but we are currently separated.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that is something that I knew needed to happen in order to dismantle a lot of these patterns.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And now that I've had the ability to do that, it is something that I'm continuously surprised by as to how deep it goes.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And my clients who have been going into this, the depths too in their own relationships and peeling back the layers of why they feel the way that they feel, why certain things in their relationship aren't working for them.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, we get to the way that they're like abandoning themselves, but it's usually because of some form of codependency.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: So before I go on, I just want to say, you know, I've been processing this separation with my husband for a while, but obviously I want to respect him and honor him and not share anything that he wouldn't want me to share.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: So everything I share, I just want to share from my own perspective and what it means for me and my process because I find that it's so helpful to share my process so that you all learn from it and it helps me to articulate it for you as well.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna do everything through that lens.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: And also, I have clients that I've been working with for a really long time that I'm walking through this really deep unraveling of these deeper patterns.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just seeing all of these parallels and similarities across the board.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things I'm recognizing is that these layers of codependency and enmeshment and these patterns are largely unconscious, right?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not like there would be any sort of thought around it.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's more like this energetic kind of bind that you create with somebody that you then, in a lot of ways, don't even understand the difference between their feelings and your feelings.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that I've been peeling back the layers on for myself for a long time.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it still comes up all the time because when you're super empathetic and sensitive and you can feel other people's feelings because of your upbringing, but because it's just like your natural ability and your natural gifts, what happens is it's easier to just like know what your partner is feeling, for example.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: But then in your mind, you don't even discern between like, well, is that how I feel or is that how they feel?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then you end up making decisions and taking actions, thinking that that's like how you feel or how you're seeing it, but really it might not be.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: It might just be the enmeshment with you and that person.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully that's making sense.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something that I've been really tuning into in my own relationship.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: But the other piece of this too is like what I've noticed for myself and my clients who, you know, have done the certification and I'm helping them build their businesses and they're similar to me in a lot of ways.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: They will notice this too, which is that when you heal these deeper patterns of codependency, people pleasing, enmeshment, they actually turn into a superpower, right?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because you get to take those abilities that you created based on trauma and use them to help people and use them to be able to see what's going on with somebody else and walk them through a journey.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you also have the ability to hold a really safe space for people.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that once you realize that the trauma can be alchemized into something that will be like really helpful for people and for you as well, then there's like such a power in that and it's alchemy.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I just wanted to add that too, because it's something I'm finding more and more that it's like, oh, well, the reason why I'm able to hold such a safe space for my clients is because I've been hyper tuned in to like my mom my whole life as a safety mechanism.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: But now it's literally like I can feel what everyone else is feeling and I have no judgment around it because I've just been doing it my whole life and it's just so easy for me, you know.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, like one of the coping mechanisms around my mom was she was like very unpredictable.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I was always trying to like create calm, like in my energy.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was always trying to create a calm and safe space.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: But now that's like what I do for people and it allows people to open up really quickly, but it started as a coping mechanism.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Before I go any further with this, I really just want to define codependency and you know, just kind of like what the general meaning of it is, but also the deeper layers of it that I see and how I define it.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Traditionally, like if you look up what codependency is, you're probably gonna see something like when your feelings of being safe or your feelings of well-being are dependent on someone else's feelings, right?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: So meaning that you can't be okay unless someone else is okay, or you are enmeshed with someone and you can't tell the difference between your feelings and their feelings, or you make someone else's feelings more important than your own, right?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Which is all true.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: However, as I've done this deeper work, like I said, with myself and my clients who've been with me for a long time, who are going really deep, I've discovered there are many more deeper, subtler layers of this that are purely energetic because they started when we were so young that we didn't have words or cognitive thoughts to be able to be aware of it, right?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: So so much of it is going on in the subconscious, right?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of it is not something that you would notice.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: And what I notice for so many women, especially, and men too, but you know, obviously the majority of the clients I work with are women.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: And what I notice is there is so much programming just around what they think they're supposed to do.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: And this is me as well.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and this is the stuff that I'm like peeling back the layers of with myself because I got to this point probably a few times in the last year or so where I just would feel completely at capacity and completely like hitting this wall and then making myself wrong because I couldn't function the same way it seemed like everyone else could function, right?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, it would come up specifically around being a mom because I don't enjoy doing some of the stuff that I perceive other moms to enjoy doing or to prioritize, right?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like going to my kids' baseball games or doing a bunch of activities on the weekends to spend time with my kids or whatever.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: And not that I don't want to spend time with my kids, but there are like specific things that I kind of like associate with what a mom is supposed to do or how a mom is supposed to be, but also realizing that those weren't actually things that worked for me and my energy, and they weren't things that I actually enjoyed doing.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: However, I didn't know that fully because I couldn't tell the difference between my feelings and what I truly felt versus my kids' feelings versus what was like programmed into me about what it meant to be a mom and a wife, and the fact that I even had choice in that, you know, and I think that's the biggest thing that I see for so many of the women that I work with is like it's not even in your conscious awareness that this is something that you could A, have choice around, but B, that might not actually work for you, that you could shift and you could say no, and you could do things in a way that actually works for you and supports your energy and values what you truly need.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that this is just like a deeper layer of the way that codependency operates and the deeper, like just energetic components that it's really hard to put words to, right?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of times I find that for most of my clients, they're operating from some unconscious assumption that they have to do certain things that they don't want to do.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And again, there's nuance to this because obviously I'm not saying that as a parent, if you don't want to do something, you just like don't do it and like you leave your kid at school and don't pick them up or something.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's like not what I'm saying.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: However, I do think there are creative solutions to parenting and to being able to take care of what you truly need and still take care of your kids because then you are modeling to them what it looks like to honor how you truly feel.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that I've been practicing a lot in the last couple of months as I've really been just tuning into like, okay, what am I actually feeling right now?
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: And there have been so many times where I just immediately automatically say yes to doing certain things, whether it's like with my kids or events that I'm supposed to go to or whatever it is, because I don't think I have a choice.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: But then when I actually tune in, it's like, no, this actually isn't gonna work for me.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't gonna work for my energy.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: And what I've come to notice about myself is that I require a lot of alone time.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I wasn't getting that alone time for decades at this point.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what was leading me to hit this capacity and feel like I couldn't go on or feel like I was like hitting this wall.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't even realize that I needed this alone time and that I wasn't getting it.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I was putting myself in situations where that wasn't even a possibility, but also I didn't think that I was allowed to have that time based on the programming or what I thought it meant to be a mom or be a wife, and like what I thought was required of me in these roles.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: So the reason why I'm sharing this is because these are like these very deep layers of codependency, where when we are even in the womb or shortly thereafter being born, there are certain ways that we create these coping mechanisms for survival, right?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that can happen on like a very deep level is if you sense in some way that you are not going to get what you need, then you immediately start like attuning to your parent and in meshing with their energy and like whatever.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: your energy kind of sees what their deficits are, you like start to be hyper tuned into those deficits and you energetically attempt to like make up for those deficits, right?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: So then your energy like merges with theirs.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's very hard to tell the difference between you and them.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then your relationship with your mother will create the blueprint that you have for all other relationships.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: So then you think a relationship means that you have to be hyper tuned into the other person.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: You have to hold their feelings for them.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be responsible for them.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: You have to make it about them and do what they want to do or acquiesce to like their feelings and their desires.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: And because that's what you learned as a way to survive and you don't even realize you're doing it.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: But then what you end up doing is completely ignoring yourself and what you need, what you want and making it about the other person.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: But then in turn you end up feeling depleted, angry, resentful and thinking like the other person doesn't acknowledge you or they don't value you or you're not getting your knees met or whatever it is.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: But you have like set up this pattern where you completely abandon yourself unconsciously and make it about the other person because you believe on an unconscious level that that is the way that you will get love, connection, and ultimately survive in a relationship and in the world in general.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: And again, this stuff is like largely unconscious, right?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: Until we bring it to the conscious mind.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the other part I think for me that's been challenging is that I've really had to be okay with the fact that my energy does not operate the same way that a lot of people's energy does operate.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: And like it's funny because I was like reflecting on when I was a school counselor, all the autistic kids would have noise canceling headphones all the time, right?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because they they would get overstimulated.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I have to be wearing noise canceling headphones like all the time.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: Even like when I am driving in the car with Matt and the kids and we're all together if we're going anywhere that is longer than a 10 minute ride, like I have to have my headphones in and I can't be in the soup of everyone else's energy.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: And like I used to really make myself wrong for that.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I get overly sensitive to everyone else's energy.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: I feel everyone else's energy and I can like clear it and I can do the energy work, but it really just helps me to be like in my own bubble.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other thing too that happens for me is I get nauseous and I get vertigo.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I realize that is also from being like overwhelmed by other people's energy.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: So as I'm like peeling back these layers of the way that I was completely ignoring my own needs and my own energy, then I'm starting to realize that there are all these things that I have needed that would have been really supportive and helpful to my energy that I wasn't giving to myself.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been a little bit like vulnerable and like evocative for me to be honest about these things.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: But the more that I'm honest about it and move through the deeper feelings, the better I feel.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I can really model this to my kids, but also I feel like my kids have responded to it really well too where it's like okay well if you're not going to go then we'll have another time to hang out or we'll we'll make a different plan or whatever.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I was the only one who was thinking that it was going to cause a problem, right?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you know there's been instances where there's been a little friction around me, you know, not doing something that like I thought I was supposed to do.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is I do love being around people and I do love being social and connecting with people.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: But at the same time I need a lot of alone time and that's how I recharge and that's how I feel nurtured.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Just being able to notice that and honor that has been huge.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's still a journey for me.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I wanted to talk about this because it's been also coming up for a lot of my clients and I think that it's something that like even as a collective right now women especially are discovering this right like everybody is like oh I think I have ADHD I think I have autism or whatever it is.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: And while that may or may not be true, I also think that we are discovering that we've like been trying to fit ourselves into a world that actually doesn't work for us and our energy and we are figuring out how to honor that.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I think the codependency piece is huge because it is this like really deep energetic way that we abandon ourselves in order to get our needs met or in order to survive.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: But so much of it on like the deeper layers is like purely energetic and it is unconscious largely so like it really requires peeling back the layers and like following the thread of when something feels uncomfortable there's some sort of challenge trigger or conflict really being able to sit with that and be like okay what is actually happening here?
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: What am I actually feeling why am I actually upset?
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been doing that with basically like every single thing you know like there was this this time where I wasn't supposed to be with the kids and then I needed to go be with the kids for whatever reason.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter but like I had already had planned to do a bunch of work that day and then I needed to go do something with the kids and I wasn't planning on that.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I went over to the house to be with the kids and I started feeling all this anxiety and like this low level like irritation kind of and then I was like okay what's happening here right and I kind of like pulled on the thread of like what am I actually feeling here?
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: And what I came down to was that when I said yes to going to do this thing with the kids that I wasn't planning on, I said yes immediately purely out of guilt and shame not even like tuning into what I actually wanted or needed in that moment because I had planned that day to do things to support myself, my business and like take care of myself.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: So then I was like in my mind trying to figure out how I could still fit all that stuff in while still doing this thing I had to do with the kids.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized that in that moment I was purely operating from a place of not being able to understand the difference between my feelings my kids' feelings my husband's feelings and just like this unconscious assumption that I have to do this because this is what a mom does.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if I don't do it then I'll be a bad mom.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: And if we look at that statement that's pure guilt and shame because first of all a good mom does she abandons herself and her own needs to like show up for her kids.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah she maybe prioritizes her kids but she also doesn't completely abandon herself right and like I had noticed that I had been operating from that energy without even realizing it, without even thinking I had a choice.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not even really about whether I do or don't do the thing it's more about the energy that I'm like coming from.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like if I would have been able to sit with that and be like okay what feels reasonable for me to do right now while still honoring myself and still making sure I have the time to do what I need to do.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: There would be a really different energy there where I would have been coming from a place of valuing myself and my own needs first before I just like automatically say yes to something because that's what I'm like supposed to do, even though it doesn't work for me.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's just like one example of like kind of the threads that I've been pulling on with myself and also with my clients.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to bring this forward and just share with you these deeper layers that come up and how you could potentially just start to pull on these threads for yourself if you find yourself being overly stressed out, overly anxious which by the way I just put out a breath work to heal anxiety on my YouTube.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely go check that out if you're finding yourself like unmotivated, depressed or just kind of like repeating the same patterns over and over again or like resentful or overwhelmed like hitting your capacity pull on these threads and be like why do I feel this way?
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: Where did this come from?
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: Why did I make this decision?
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: What am I really feeling right now?
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I feel like I have to do this and like really dig into that stuff to start to figure out like where it's coming from and is it really true?
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you just operating from a place of like programming or a place of not fully understanding the difference between your feelings and someone else's.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I know for me that has been a huge thing is not being able to understand the difference between my feelings and someone else's feelings.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: And once I really started to tease that apart, it was like whoa I have been operating from this place of like this deeper layer of codependency that I was not even aware of.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: So that's pretty much all I wanted to say about that.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I'd love to hear if this pops for you, what comes up if you have questions, please reach out to me.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: For me, this is just kind of like the deeper layers as I go through my own process and take my clients deeper beyond the initial phase of the metamorphosis and diving into all that work then we really continue to like go down the rabbit hole because if you still want to continue growing there just going to be these deeper and deeper layers that come up and the thing that happens is though, because so many people are like is it ever over?
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: And like we're always processing and growing right so what I say though is like if you want to keep growing yeah there's still going to be stuff that comes up but I have gotten so good at moving through the stuff that comes up it's not like a problem.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like yeah I might have emotions come up and I might have to be with them but being willing to be with them and knowing how to move through your emotions, it literally is like a five to 10 minute maybe 30 minutes at the most and my clients who have gotten good at it too are the same way.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: So really just being able to master how to address your feelings and move through them you just grow so fast once you get good at that.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: But a lot of times like we don't even realize that we're having feelings because we've gotten so good at ignoring them or talking ourselves out of them.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that's usually the reason why we stay stuck.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: So please reach out if you have questions about any of that stuff.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear from you if you have questions about the best way to work with me you can join the Metamorphosis at any time.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: So reach out to me about that.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: Also the certification the metamorphosis method breath work and trauma certification is starting again in early September.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're interested in learning how to apply this work with your clients so they get faster, more tangible more permanent more efficient results and you're able to get to the root of the problem with them much more easily and quickly then reach out to me and we can chat about that.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll be able to facilitate group private in-person and virtual transformational breath work experiences.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the best thing you could do for yourself and your clients.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay I will leave it there.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to check out my YouTube channel listen to the latest breath work for anxiety follow me there.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: And also don't forget to rate and review the podcast on Apple and if you do send me a screenshot and you'll receive a$250 credit to joining anything new in my world.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sending you all so much love.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: Have a great weekend and I will talk to you soon.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to follow the show on Apple or Spotify.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: Leave a review and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: When you leave a review send us a screenshot and we'll send you a$250 credit that you can apply to joining anything new in my world you can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at elise underscore breeds.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you download my clear trauma cheat sheet at elisebreeds.com.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time