Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1088 - Are You Over Sleepovers? [R]

Transcript

#1088 - Are You Over Sleepovers? [R] · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Family's podcast.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: once answers.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Me out, good day Mona and stops justin. Call some
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: here with my wife and mum to our six kids, Kylie, missus.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Happy Families Today? Or is it just me? Is all
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: about sleepovers?
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: Is it just me?
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Or are sleepovers a really bad idea?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: So we're going to dive into that, but we wanted
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: to ask you first. Facebook blew up when we asked
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  Speaker 1: this question. This is a provocative topic. People have strong
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: opinions about sleepovers, for both good and bad, for fairly
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: clear and obvious reasons. I think this is what some
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: of you said.
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  Speaker 4: Hi, my name is Joe. I'm calling from Kingscliff. My
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: daughter last night, who's fifteen, had a sleepover with a friend.
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  Speaker 4: I discovered that she had switched her location service off
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: and she wouldn't pick a phone up. I came to
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  Speaker 4: light that she's gone to a teenage hangout in a
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: park in Burleigh. Called the mother of the friend that
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: she was staying with. She gave me the impression that
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: it wasn't her responsibility and it was my problem. I'm
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: curious to know who is liable there and who should
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: really be overlooking everything.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: Hi. My name is Marie and I'm from Melton, Victoria.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: I am a mum to two small boys, four years
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: old and two years old, and I'm also the teacher
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: to high school students. I have mixed feelings because as
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: a teacher, I teach a lot of disadvantaged students. A
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: lot of my students have various forms of domestic violence
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: or divorce or poverty in their lives. So I've seen
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: what can happen, and I know the statistics around who
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: commits domestic violence. But at the same time, not everyone
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: is like that, and I would hate for my fears.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: She ruined like talks.
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  Speaker 1: Childhood, Kylie's some great feedback there. And by the way,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: if you want to leave us a message, you don't
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: have to email us at podcasts at happy families dot
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: com dot you anymore. We have an easy to use button.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: It's a brand new plug in on our website, Happy
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: families dot com dot You. Just go to the website,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: press the button and start talking. It's that easy, and
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: we love hearing your voice on the podcast. Okay, let's
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: dive into it, Kylie. The pros and cons.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Is there actually any science around sleepovers.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: No, well, there's no Australian data on sleepovers. I have
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: combed through the through the databases and it's really hard
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: to find. In fact, it's hard to find good evidence
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: on sleepovers, full stop, end of story. We kind of
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: have this belief that there's a whole lot of research
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: on a whole lot of things and we can just
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: tap our fingers and I don't know, chat, GPT or
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Google or whatever the latest AI is is going to
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: tell us the answer to our question. But sometimes we
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: don't have good reasons. Sometimes we actually don't know.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: So we're just making it up.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Well, there is some data, and that's what we're going
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: to point to in this conversation. We don't know how
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: many kids are having sleepovers. We don't have any idea
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: how many parents are banning sleepovers. We do know that
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: every time we discussed it on social media, it gets
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: a big response. And even though there isn't much research,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I've scrounged around and found a few bits and pieces.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: So I've come up with three research backed reasons that
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: sleepovers are awesome. And I also found three research backed
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: reasons that sleepovers are concerning. Let's dive into them. You
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: want to start with the pros or the cons.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm always forgetting the cons out of the way,
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: so let's start there.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: So if I was to ask you, what do you
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: think the biggest reasons people would be anti sleepovers could be?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: In addition to or including what we've already heard, what
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: would you say?
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  Speaker 2: Safety issues would have to be paramount. I'd be at
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: the top of the list.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, safety concerns in the research, this is the deal
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: breaker for a lot of people. And I get it.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Sleepovers pose huge safety risks for children, the risk of
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: incidents and accidents and exposure to inappropriate behavior, and we know,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, this is really concerning. I had a chat
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: with one of the lead researchers on the Estrange Child
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Male Treatment study just a month and a bit ago
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: on the Happy Families podcast, and he indicated that their
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: brand new research just published shows that the group most
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: likely to perpetrate abuse against kids as other kids. So
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: we know that harm is most likely to be done
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: by people who are known by and trusted by the
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: victim of the abuse, and often it's another young person
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  Speaker 1: like a big brother or just somebody else is in
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  Speaker 1: the house. Safety concerns paramount.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: The other things that stand out for me is the
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: disruption of routines. Every time our children have had a sleepover,
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: every time they have come home and absolutely rerect.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: How many days do you reckon? It takes kids to
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: recover from a good quality sleepover at.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Least two or three By then, by then the weekend's
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: over and we're back into the school week, and we're
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: trying to push through the brain.
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: Frog, through the brain frog. It's very yes, I have
• 5:04
  Speaker 5: brain frogs. Those brain frogs are really tough to get
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: through too. It's true sleepovers are guaranteed to disrupt kids
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: sleep patterns, guaranteed boost fatigue, Guaranteed that more often than night,
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: your kids are going to come home cranky, cranky and
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: tired and ratty and miserable, impaired cognitive function.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: They're horrible for a few days after. As you said, Kylie,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: research does tell us that are regular sleep schedules, such
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: as those that kids are going to experience when they
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: go and have their sleepovers, are also going to not
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: just not just have those negatives, but it can impair
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: their academic performance and obviously it has an impact on
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: their mood.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: And lastly, I think the issues around peer exclusion and
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: peer pressure would be another thing on the list.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: So we've talked about this before, the issue of when
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: the kids are getting together, sometimes in a big group,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: sometimes a small group. It doesn't really matter the size,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: but once it's late at night, good things don't usually happen.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: I actually had a friend reach out to me recently.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: She's got a thirteen year old daughter who's desperate to
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: have some friends over, and the parents would be going
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: out for an evening and not getting back till really late,
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: and so she just asked me what my thoughts were
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: on whether or not it would be okay for her
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: to leave her thirteen year old daughter behind with a
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: few other girls, because this is her first time round.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: And I just said to her, look, I'm not really
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: worried about the girls you're talking about and what they
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: might get up to. They're really good kids, I said.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: But the challenge you have when you get more than
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: one girl together is just the emotional challenges that exist
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: and their inability to navigate those without adult supervision.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the challenges of exclusion or bullying, or someone
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: saying something snide or something innocent being interpreted ambiguously taken
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: the wrong way, and then you've got this kid who's
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: in the corner, kind of stuck late at night with
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: no one to turn to, feeling insecure, feeling hopeless, feeling excluded,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: and of course there is the risk that that can
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: blow up into something far, far worse, because they're tired,
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: they're hyped up on sugar and all those kinds of things.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: So they're the concerns, and I think that they're warranted,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: they're important concerns. Can I just quickly dive into a
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: couple of arguments for sleepovers. I'm actually an advocate for them,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: in spite of the risks. If we can get sleepovers
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: right and if kids can be safe, I think sleepovers
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: are fantastic, in spite of the fact that the kids
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: can be grumpy the next day, and in spite of
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: the fact that there can be some exclusion going on,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: and in spite of the fact that it's a potentially
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: dangerous thing. From a I know I'm not making this.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I'm not selling it really well, am I. But from
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: a social development point of view. Research researchers at the
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: University of Maryland showed that positive peer relationships established during
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: childhood sleepovers can lead to greater social confidence later in life.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: What happens is that a sleepovers provide like this, they're scaffolding.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: It supports social development. It gets kids into this event
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: where they're learning how to navigate friendships and conflicts and
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: compromise outside of the typically structured environment of school or home.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: And I don't know that it's healthy or safe to
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: protect our kids from that stuff all the time. It's
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: good that they end up in those situations so long
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: as so long as they have the opportunity to navigate
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: them with appropriate support, and so long as the environment
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: supports cooperation and conflict resolution and empathy. So for me,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I think that the social potential and the fact that
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: the kids some of my best memories, some of my
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: best memories are from sleepovers. We didn't have sleepovers when
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I was a kid until I was into my teen years.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: That was just the way it worked in my family.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: But Kylie, I remember my friends would stay over. One night,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: we went into the pantry, so Mum and dad had
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: a walk in pantry in this particular house. Went into
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: the pantry. There was two leaders of chocolate chocolate syrup
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: and one of my friends Aaron said, what will you
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: give me if I drink it?
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: You are not doing yourself any favors right now.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: We all said we'd give him five dollars. Back in
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: those days, that was a lot for us kids. We said,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: we give him five dollars if he would drink the
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: two leaders of chocolate topping chocolate syrup.
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  Speaker 2: Disgusting.
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  Speaker 1: He got through a powder leader of it.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: That's disgusting.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: But when he burned, the whole room just smelt like chocolate.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: I remember those things. I remember skinny dipping because we
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: all just thought it was so funny. Or doing anudy
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: run down the street.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, so all the parents, all of us are all
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: screaming no, don't say anything else.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course. But the thing is everyone did it
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: as well, right, And everyone remembers the sleepovers because they
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: did those dumb things.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: So there's a couple of things that jump out at me. Right,
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I'm not against sleepovers at all, but with all of
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: the experience that we've had over the years, I probably
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: am against group sleepovers.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Large groups have never worked out well. They just never
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: have worked out well. I think having a really close
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: friend come over and spend the night or you go
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: and spend the night with them. I think there's lots
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: of merit to that.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: What about camp be out in the backyard though, we
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: used to have just two or three my mate, we'd
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: set up a tent in the backyard and we'd camp
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: over night in the backyard. We thought it was so awesome.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: We'd go down to the shops and buy a couple
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: of packets of Hubba Bubba and we would chew gum
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: in the tent all night and it was just great.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Well, you didn't let me finish, because the next thing
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: was you acknowledged that you didn't actually start having sleepovers
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: well into your teens, and that makes a huge difference.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I remember one of our kids getting a sleepover invite
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: as a six year old. Yeah, with a group of
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: six year olds, and I just they're not ready for that.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: If you want to, if you want to start to
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: stretch your kids in a social way, send them to
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: grandma's at six, send them to grandma's at eight.
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: See this is important as well. Sleepovers with friends versus
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: sleepovers with family, that's an important distinction, so very different.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: I literally remember having a sleepover at my auntie's house
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: when I would have been. I want to say five
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: or six. I was really young, and I have a vivid,
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: vivid picture in my mind of being in my boy
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: cousin's bed room. So he'd obviously gone. I wasn't sleeping
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: in the room with me. I had his room. He
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: had trucks on the walls, and I could just see
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: these trucks, and I was so scared. I wanted I
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: wanted my own familiar space. But there was nowhere to go,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: there was nowhere to know, There wasn't any way to
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: deal with it. I had to be there.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: So there's another another cond there's the anxiety of sleepovers
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: for little kids.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: So age matters and context matters, all.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Right, I want to come to those in a second.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Let's just do a quick summary of where we are. First,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: of all, the arguments against sleepovers. Number one, there's the
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: safety concerns. Number two, there's a disruption to routine. Number three,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: there's the stuff that goes on in the peer group
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: that's not positive. And we could add screens as well,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: like that, that really changes the dynamic again if screens
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: are involved. The positives the arguments for sleepovers, there's the
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: social development, there's the memories and the bonding that I've
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: clearly made a big deal about.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: But you don't need to have a sleepover to make memories.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: No, you don't. But research shows that sleepovers can enhance
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: the emotional bond between kids and contry tribute to their
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: overall well being and happiness.
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: I'm eventually.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Development when we're drinking one leader of chocolate syrup.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: And it also helps them to build independence and make
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: decisions for themselves. That's the summary so far. Now there
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: are five things that I think we need to bear
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: in mind, and time is almost up already, So over
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: the next seventy to ninety seconds, we are going to
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: whizz through five things that we should keep in mind
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: when we're talking about sleepovers. Kyle, you've already touched on
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: the first one. The age matters. Age matters because when
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: you're older, you're less likely to experience harm and abuse.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Research shows that younger kids are at greater risk. They're
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: simply more vulnerable. The older you are, the less vulnerable
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: you are. Not that you're invulnerable, but you're less vulnerable
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: as you get older. And when you're older, you're also
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: much more aware. You get that spidy sense that tingle
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: that feeling you know what's a risky situation and what's not,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: or at least you do much more than when you're
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: five or eight or eleven.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: I think the kind of personality your child has matters
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: as well.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: So I would call this assertiveness.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: If have you got a child who's willing to speak
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: up and speak out when they're uncomfortable? Will they get
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: in touch with an adult, whether it's ring you as
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: mom or dad, or go to the responsible adult in
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: the house.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Or have they got the guts to just look at
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: their friends and say stop it, this is not okay?
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Like can they call out bullying? Can they look at
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: someone and say what made you think that was right?
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Like having that moral courage. That's what I call it,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: the assertiveness, big, big, big deal. So number one, how
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: old are they and how aware are they what's going on?
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: Number two? How assertive are they? Number three? Communication?
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: It's so important. Do your kids know that no matter what,
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: they can call you, Yeah, but they can reach out
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: to your things are not going well.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Which also prompts the question are you going to give
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: them a phone? If they're too young to normally have
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: a phone, do they go with a phone, or if
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: they don't have a phone, how do they contact you?
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: What if the person who's supposed to be the trusted
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: adult in this situation is actually unsafe. They can't really
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: say I need a phone to call my mom because
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: you're scaring me. So it's a really, really, really tricky one.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Some kids are going to be so easily swayed by
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: their peers if things go sideways. Are they able to
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: communicate with you and the people around them?
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: How well do they know the people that you're leaving
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: them with as well? I think that's a really important one.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, so let's call that number four. Let's just talk
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: about supervision. How many kids are going to be there?
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Who else is going to be there? I remember you
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: telling me a horror story about a sleepover shortly after
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: we were married, where somebody that you knew was inappropriately
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: touched by an uncle who was visiting from overseas. So
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: the kids were having the sleepover and everyone in the
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: house was safe except oh, hang on, we've got somebody
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: new visiting from overseas. But they're a trusted adult, right
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: because their family turns out they weren't. Horrifying story, absolutely horrifying.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: So as an adult you want to know who's there.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: And the last thing that I'm going to bring up
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: is you want to know who is going to be responsible.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: We've had conversations with other adults who are going to
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: be looking after our kids at sleepovers, and we've said,
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: is there anyone going to be drinking? And that matters
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: purely because one time, my parents have gone overseas on
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: a holiday and my grandma and grandpa were looking after
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: us kids and Nana Pop had a couple of drinks
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: one night. They weren't drunk or anything, but they had
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: a few drinks and they certainly were not safe to drive.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: And I was playing a little bit rough with my
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: sisters and broke one of my sister's arms. I know.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: So this isn't even a sleepover situation, but it just
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: prompts the question, if something were to go wrong, are
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: there responsible adults who are able to get in the
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: car and get the kids to the hospital or do
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: something to protect them. Again, unlikely, but not trivial. Not trivial.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: This stuff matters.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: So are key points from today's conversation. There are definitely
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: a couple of things that go against having sleepovers.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Were and they're big things.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: We've got some real concerns around safety for our children.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: There's the disruption to routine and just dealing with the
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: tear a child for the next twenty four or forty
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: eight hours afterwards, and the challenges around peer pressure an exclusion.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: They're real, and the arguments for it. Let's face it,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: they're downright fun.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: They're downright they're downright fun.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: There's so much to do, so much fun to have memories,
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: to make, bonding to create. Yeah, yeah, they're fun.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, So here's what I would say if you're looking
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: for the upshot of all of this to take home
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: message with kids under twelve, stick with a sleep under.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Sleep under also known as a late over fancy way
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: of saying, I'll pick you up late and bring you home.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: You're not staying over. So I really like that idea.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I reckon it works with bigger kids. I reckon you
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: just roll play practice. What will you say things aren't
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: going right? Make sure that they know that they can
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: be assertive in the power of doing that. Next, make
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: sure they can contact you. Make sure you know that
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: they're never to enter the room of an adult or
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: someone of the opposite gender. I think that's super super important.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: It just keeps them safe. And now what's going on
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: with alcohol and supervision and access to screens if you
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: do that sort of stuff. Pre Armed is Prepared sleepods
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: are amazing when they go well, and more often than not,
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: most of the time they do go well, but keeping
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: a kid safe is a priority, so hopefully this helps.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: The Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Rawan from
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Bridge Media and if you'd like more info about making
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: your family happier or to read a written version of
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: this podcast, not a transcript, just a written version of
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: a podcast, check it all out Happy families dot com,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: dot a