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CJP 88: Elizabeth Mikotowicz · Coconut Justice

• Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Hey, what's good? Elizabeth Mikotowicz is an artist, writer, activist. She came on the channel to share her intense journey from being adopted as a baby all the way to being in prison, then getting out and moving to Louisiana, and became an author and a fashion designer. This is my conversation with Elizabeth Mikotowicz. Before we get into it, remember to go to coconutjustice dot com to get you some clothes that I think would look good on you. Let's go. Hey, just like I told you in the intro, Elizabeth is here. Hi. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Hi. Thank you for having me. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I was gonna say your last name because it's fun. Elizabeth Mikot Mikotowicz. Mikotowicz. Mikotowicz, Elizabeth Mikotowicz: McAutowid. Yes! You did it! Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): there we go. I grew Elizabeth Mikotowicz: It's Lithuanian. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): up I grew up in Chicago and we have a ton of I I'm assuming that's Polish. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Lithuanian, so yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Lithuania okay. Okay. Yeah, so I grew up with a lot of a lot of Polish folks. Shout Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): out to my sister Grace. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: My mother is Polish. She grew up in Chicago. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): cool. Yeah, I heard I heard that there are more Polish people in Chicago than there are in the capital of Poland. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Really? That's crazy. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. I can I can fact check that, but I've heard that yeah, Chicago's jam packed with Polish folks, but but you're not in Chicago. You're down in Louisiana. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: And I actually grew up in Maine. I was born in Illinois. I got adopted to a couple in Brooklyn, New York. And then my dad got a job at the University of Maine and I spent most of my life in Maine. And now I'm down next to New Orleans and I'm so happy about it because it was like my dream city and I never thought I'd make it after my life went to hell. But I did. was like bucket list Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: for me. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I've I went down to Mardi Gras. and this is this is back when the the our cell phones barely had any picture, you know, like the pictures Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): are like eight pixels wide or whatever, you know, it was terrible. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Good. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): but but yeah, cell phones I think cellphones have officially ruined Mardi Gras 'cause it used to be it used to be a wild time and now it's like you Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Everyone's scared of it. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Like you go to Mardi Gras, you can't lean into it anymore. You can't run for president after Mardi Gras. Like everyone's got f pictures of you. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Well, you know, it's funny because the locals say that New Orleans is completely different after Katrina and obviously I wasn't here before that, but they said things are drastically different now that after post Katrina. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. What was it about you say New Orleans? I've heard New Orleans, I've heard Nollins. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yes, Nola. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Nola, yeah. What is it about down there that attracted you to it? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: You know, just the culture and, you know, the ghost stories and the witches and the vampires, like all of it. I loved it so much. And you know, I'm an artist. So like every artist wants to go to New Orleans. I think that's just Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah, I agree. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: something in us where we have this mystical, weirdo energy where we want to go to New Orleans. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I agree. Artists tap into a a a a part of reality that it's I assume people think the way that we do. And they just don't. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. No, no, neurotypicals are very different from us. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah, like it's it's it's interesting. and then when you obviously when you're in a place like New Orleans and and even LA leans into the creative into the creative, you could just say like that. Where there's a lot of people you start seeing a collection of creatives getting together and if you're in the right Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Even the blues was boring. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): it Yeah. And it just kind of like It just fuels our our creative engine. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Absolutely. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): How is life down there? Is it pretty slow or is Elizabeth Mikotowicz: It's Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): it pretty fast paced? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I mean, well, I'm in like Slidel, the town next to it. So life is a lot slower in Slidel. But I mean, you know, the city is crazy. I lived in the seventh ward first when I got here and it was wild. Like people were getting shot. mean, it's it's a wild time. You do have to be careful. It is a very dangerous city. But like, I love it. I love. I love the culture, like I love the rebellious, you know, nature where the, you know, the oppressed just don't take it lying down. I mean, that's what Mardi Gras was all Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: about, you know, playing in, you know, your oppressor's face and, you know, your parades and dressing up and, you know. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You know, I never knew that. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, it was, can't, I had this story told to me and it started off as like the poor, like kinda like doing a fuck you to the rich and the elite. And so they dress up and like harass the rich and they'd start throwing coins at them. And it was, yeah, it was like, yeah, it was kind of a act of rebellion a little bit. That's kind of how it started. And then it just snowballed into this whole other thing. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. That's yeah, that's that brings a whole new level of understanding 'cause yeah. If we're struggling, we're kind of seeing it, we kinda see it nowadays, because things aren't easy for everyone right now. And instead Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Now is ne- Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): of and instead of like like even the protests, like I'll go to protests and stuff like that. But people people are throwing a party. It's not it's not like we want to burn this building down. It's more like we're gonna party in your face because it doesn't matter what you do, we're still gonna love each other. We're still gonna work together. We're still gonna Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. You can't steal my joy. That was one thing I learned from black women in prison. Like every moment of joy is an act of rebellion. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah. And you let that slip. We'll get to it. We'll get to it. I promise. So we went from Illinois to Brooklyn Elizabeth Mikotowicz: BAY Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): to Maine. What was your and you said you were adopted and all that stuff. What was that experience like? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: So, I mean, I was adopted right from birth, so it's not like I remembered it. I did reconnect with my biological family when I turned 18. That was, that's a whole other conversation. My biological family's MAGA, and I was raised by liberals, so I have this like polar opposite influence in my life, and it was, they're both wrong. They're both wrong, but I think. You know, MAGA is just a little bit more off the deep end and, you know, with all their rhetoric. But yeah, Maine was beautiful growing up and it was great. love, you know, I did love, you know, growing up there. I mean, I had a good life and then, you know, once I hit 18 and got out on my own, that's when things took like a dark turn and things kind of spun out of control. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yep, that's right around the time where you think you have the world figured out. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, and you're so young and stupid, and I did. I thought I knew everything. I've been walking on the streets the shit, and I knew everything. I didn't. I didn't know anything. I feel like I don't know anything Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: now, and like, I have more wisdom about me than, you know, I definitely did back then. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): That's the cool thing about getting old or getting Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): older older is you start to see the pattern, people's patterns, and you're like, Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Absolutely. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): this is gonna turn into that shit again. this Elizabeth Mikotowicz: you Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): one's gonna be and then and then it's crazy when the people start making the decisions that you're anticipating them making. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, right. Yeah, my pattern Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Right. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: recognition is next level at this point. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And again, from what I understand, what what what kind of neurodivergence do you have? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: So, I was misdiagnosed with bipolar 2, I was diagnosed with ADHD, depressive disorder, and you know, all their meds just made me worse. Like, put me, some Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: of them put me in psychosis and it was really, really dangerous. But, you know, I have sensory issues that were never addressed. like certain noises and like, like I had a cell phone that would vibrate a certain way and I could feel it go up my whole arm and it would linger and it would be this violating horrible sensation and I'm watching other people and none of that happens to them. And like I knew. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Is that the same thing as like those phantom buzzes that we feel in our leg when we think our phone is there and is not? Is that kind of the same thing? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: No, neurodivergence and like autism, like we process things differently. So we feel things and we hear things like on a greater level than most neurotypical Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: people. Like some of us can hear electricity. Like I can feel lightning strike before it happens. Like I feel the, like if I'm close enough to it, I can feel the electricity. Like something, it feels like something is like, yes. And it's very Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: simple. So I don't like thunderstorms. don't like going outside because you see me running back to the house through a parking lot. That's why. Because I don't like any rent. Of course, I had to read an article about this. Every person who struck by lightning said they could feel it lock onto them before it struck them. So when I feel this, that's all I think about. And it makes Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: me feel it. Yeah, and it was funny because I watched a show about this autistic girl who's completely nonverbal and she would freak out randomly and just like bang her arms on stuff and people thought she was acting out and she goes, and finally when she could like type and communicate, she said, when I do that, it feels like my arms are on fire and it's so painful and I just want it to stop. So, you know. I think neurodivergent people process the world differently and it's too much for neurotypicals to deal with and they don't want to take the time to understand that we're just a little bit different and our learning style is different, how we Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: take things in is different and that's okay. It just means we're a lot more sensitive. It doesn't mean we're weak or anything. It means we are feeling and enduring things on a much greater scale than regular p- Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And and we'll call regular people. Regular Elizabeth Mikotowicz: you Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): people that don't understand that they think that they can just take everyone and put in a box. It's either gonna be the pink one or the blue one, the red Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yes. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): one or the blue one. It and it just doesn't work that way. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: kids table or you don't and it's like man miss me with that nonsense like people all flavors and colors and the world is better for it Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): For real. For real. I and that's the thing that I I continue to I've been spinning my wheels on different ideas about why people treat each other certain ways, you know? And I think Elizabeth Mikotowicz: right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I think corporate America and that mentality, it oversimplifies things because it everything needs to be Everything needs to be straight up and down and and it needs to be white or shades of gray and all this stuff. And then you get like the artists that show up and they start spray painting and putting colors all over the place. Like Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): w it just doesn't it's not like you're gonna try to do this and you're only gonna drive people crazy. And at the end of the day, it's because these folks are too lazy to get out of their own. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Great. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): misplaced understanding of humanity. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I got you. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Hi puppy. Yeah. Yeah. One of my one of my dogs was I have two little Havanese. One of them is a rescue and she's Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Damn. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): my she's the one that understands how good we have it. You know, my other Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): my boy is spoiled. He thinks like this is every day. And my girl, she she's very territorial 'cause she knows what it is to be in the streets. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Absolutely. Two of ours, we rescued them literally off the Texas desert. They were living wild and yeah. We Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): geez. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: were feeding them every day and we ended up taking them in. And then we got this little shit right here because they knocked up the neighbors dog. And he's the most spoiled dog. Yeah, yeah, get it. I get it. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. so we were talking about people not understanding us and trying to fit us into boxes that just don't fit and all that stuff. At what point in your life did you realize that Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Thank Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): that maybe you needed a little different understanding or a little different coaching or teaching or or whatever? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I was 12 when that really started to like peak and I really started to have a hard time. You know, I also, the first narcissist I ever dealt with was an older step sibling and they were the mean cheerleader in high school. And I looked up to them and wanted to be accepted by them so bad. Like it was pathetic. And you know, they were so mean. Like they were the type that would just like, rag on you for wearing a shirt wrong or you know just mean unnecessary Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: stuff and you know we're in our 40s now she's still the same mean girl and you know she's exactly yeah and Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. And you're like, listen, you're doing too much. Take the day off, you're fine. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: it's crazy because you know and she's such a hypocrite too like she drove drunk with my kids and then wants to get on me after i had five years of sobriety and was doing good and like going on podcasts and working with state reps and you know, doing things that mattered. Then she wanted to attack me and drag me all over social media. And I was actually having a mental health crisis at the time because the lithium I was on that the prison had me on, my kidney said, fuck you to that. And I started to go in psychosis because my body wasn't processing the medication anymore. That was the one time medication like worked for me. And... it was going wrong. And so she started attacking me when I was in psychosis. And normally, like, I could have cared less. Like, once I was 18 and got pregnant in abusive relationship, like, all of the mean girl shit she did didn't matter to me. Like, dude, I got bigger problems. But when I was Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: in that mental state where I was, you know, going through the psychosis because of the medication, like, I ended up in the hospital with seven stitches. And it was crazy because, like, it was like somebody push me outside of my body and I could watch what I was doing to myself. you know, self-mutilation is crazy because once you do it and you really hurt yourself, like it snaps you right out of it and brings you right Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: back to reality. And so, you know, I had this and my family, nobody protected me, you know, and they let her run me into the ground to my children, like when I was trying to rebuild a relationship with them after prison. And it's like, dude, with family like that, who needs enemies and you know, we've gone no contact Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): For real. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: with a lot of them over it. I'm like, you didn't protect me, you didn't protect my kids. You know, one thing I will say, I might've been a scumbag drug addict for a while and selling drugs out of desperation. She was just a trad one who, you know, didn't like her life and wanted to compare herself to everybody. Like, you guys didn't protect me from that. You didn't protect my children. You let her drive drunk with them. She got an OUI. But y'all wanna drag me when, and it's fine, I'm used to being the black sheep, but this was like a tipping point for me and I ended up cutting off a lot of my family over it. Because I'm just like, no, you're not gonna keep dragging me. I fought through hell and I still don't use that as an excuse to get high and all that shit. But she's allowed to and you're gonna endanger my kids. and let her slander me and drag me all over the place. Like, no, I'm not dealing with any of that. know, this was in Maine. And Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. And is this in was this in Maine? Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: yeah, you can read about that in my book as well. There's a whole like section on it because like, and it was so weird. I like, when I came out of that, I was like, why did I react that way? Like I have been through so much worse shit. And that like, her coming at me like that. I felt like a little kid again. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. And that's and that's and that's why. That's why. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, and yeah, so I mean, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I if you notice, and this goes for everyone, not just not just neurodivergence, not just whatever, whatever. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You'll notice, you'll notice, and this is everyone, when you go, you know, you can be out and living your life and you're making your mark on the world, all the things, and you can become an author and and an artist and accomplish all those things. But when you go back to Thanksgiving, let's say. Everyone expects you to fill that spot and you just don't fill that spot anymore. You know? Again, Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): it's this box that everyone assumes that you're going to to fit into and I'm I'm I'm not eight anymore. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I've grown. I'm I'm way bigger than this box that you're expecting me to live in, right? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: And it was funny because when I finally told her off and stood up for myself, she was like, I can't believe you're being, like what? You've bullied me my entire life. I am not that 15 year old kid anymore. I've been through prison, I've been through the streets. You don't know who you're dealing with anymore. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: It's crazy. man. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah, and and and when again, you know, it's it's like this the the mentality or the or the psychosis is probably the in wrong word, but it's the pattern that people continue to do. Like, okay, cool. So you're comfortable and you have a wonderful life and you love it there, whatever, whatever. You can't assume that everyone is going to accomplish whatever happiness you might have at the same time that Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Bye. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): you're accomplishing it. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: She's really started dog on me when I got pregnant at 18 on birth control. It must be nice to be able to have a relationship and not have life altering consequences. Like your birth control worked. You got to go to college Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: and you know, plan your life out accordingly. I had the rug ripped out from under me repeatedly. And if I Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: had been drunk with my kids, CPS would have taken them. But where she's Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: her own business and she has money and you know, all that stuff. Nope. She shouldn't even get an investigation. So like, think that is also that that's also one thing that irritates the shit out of me. Like, you know, it in America, it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you have enough money to pay your way out of it. And that's not the way things should be. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. That's very true. And we're we're we got a front row seat to all that bullshit right now. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: yeah, yeah we do. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): We do. And it's more than and and it's more than just that one guy, it's more than just that one group. It we're starting to find out that everyone in Washington is doing this. And Elizabeth Mikotowicz: You're welcome. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): then when when when you get into these discussions with people that well, yeah, what about Biden? Yeah, okay, exactly. What about Biden? If he if any of these idiots Elizabeth Mikotowicz: You can! Who cares about diet? Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): are breaking the law, they need to go to jail the same way you just got done saying. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, if he's on there, lock him up. I don't care. I don't care which end of the aisle he's on. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: If they were on that island, lock him up. I don't care which one. Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): All the way up. All the way up. Let's go back to Maine. you it it sounds like you had a very challenging childhood, yeah? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I aside from that sibling, no, I really didn't. I was very blessed. have four. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): How many siblings do you have total? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Well, my biological siblings, I have seven. But my step siblings up north, I have two. And other than that, I was an only child. And I was really lucky. I had a lot of really good experiences as a kid. We went to France and we you know we did all kinds of stuff like I had a good life and I was very blessed and privileged compared to other people and You know I I'm grateful for that because I think that's what gave me enough critical thinking to see through my biological families bullshit and their chaos But it was really once I got out on my own and started dating. You know I got whatever narcissistic wound I had from, and low self-esteem I had from that step-sibling, I kind of carried it into my relationships, and that's what I found in therapy. Once I broke this all down, all of my insecurities came from that person, and then men, abusive men would pick up on that. And I ended up getting assaulted pregnant to the point my skull was showing, and... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Okay, hang on. 'Cause this is where it starts to get juicy. I wanna build I wanna build up to that though. I Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I'm gonna build up to you. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): wanna I so you had a relatively calm with the exception of something your parents were cool Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, and my pen is feeling good. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): with you, your parents wanted you around kind of thing. Were they mean to you? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, my parents were, no, they weren't mean. I mean, they got like bad advice regarding the adoption and you know, they own that later on, but at the time where I was a kid, was Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: like, you shouldn't have done that. And you know, cause we're immature and like, couldn't see through it. Now that I'm older, it's like, okay, I can understand that they got bad advice regarding how they handled my adoption. And you know, they didn't it. And you know, they didn't, they told me that my biological parents had never tried to contact me, didn't want anything to do with me, and that did more damage. And then they came out and said, well, that's actually true, you know, they were... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Can we explore that real quick? because I I I always how how can I say this? when I talk to people and and if they're adopted, they always you know, n not always, but some folks some folks are off and running and everything is great. but help us understand like and you said you were adopted f as a baby so you don't really you didn't really like it's not like you're you you had a connection to your natural parents and then they gave you away so it wasn't that like what do you remember wha how can I ask this? Was it a situation where you just never felt comfortable? on your day to day? Like maybe you didn't Elizabeth Mikotowicz: It was more exciting. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): you didn't fit into this family, or was it like something something like my my natural parents didn't want me? You know, can you exp help me understand that dynamic? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: That's actually a great question because I remember being a kid and watching some trial about some kid being taken back by their biological parents and an adoption that went wrong. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I remember being terrified of this happening to me. But with adoption, there's trauma no matter what. You are bonded to your biological mother at birth. You were inside her for nine months. no matter what there's going to be a trauma there and something missing. And it wasn't that they were mean. It wasn't that they were cruel or anything like that. I mean, sometimes comments would be made like, well, you're just you have a biological defect or because I'd have ADHD Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: or something like that. And it was like little things like that that I would internalize. And you know, and then my mother remarried and it was like, I just felt like an outsider. You know, me and my dad were me and my dad. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I always loved my dad. you know, in fact, most of the time I choose to go with him over, you know, my mother's side. And you know, then I just kind of got rebellious and started sneaking out and you know, getting into trouble and for whatever. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah, you're a normal kid. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, yeah. And you know, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: that was that was on me. But, you know, I was never like Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): No, that was that was again, remember you like especially especially when you're coming from Coming from a an uncomfortable situation, and then you get that little taste of freedom. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: ring. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You know what mean? It happened to me too. I went nuts. I didn't go too crazy, but but that taste of freedom and again going back to the fact that you're a late teen at this point and you think you have the world figured out because well, Elizabeth Mikotowicz: right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): you know, if your parents if if if it seems like your parents don't have it figured out, That chip on your shoulder as a seventeen, eighteen, nineteen year old is even bigger. Cause you're like, Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): who the fuck are you to tell me? You don't have your shit figured out. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Well, once I found out they weren't honest with me about my biological parents, I got mad. And like, I now as an adult Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. I could see that. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: understand like they had an adult and back in the 80s and 90s, that was the norm to cut ties and don't talk about it. And, you know, just tell the kids Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: absolutely nothing. That is what they were telling a doctor's parents to do. And then so harmful. that is so awful to do. You know, have an innate Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: biological wiring to wanna know where we came from. I mean, geez, mankind has been asking who made us since, exactly. So, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Where did we come from? Yeah. Since we came out. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: you know, to think that, you know, you're gonna adopt a child and that you're just gonna raise them how you want and they're gonna come out the way you want, that's not reality at all. And I think, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: you know, I think there's a lot of adopted parents that, you know, meanwhile, but they do damage unintentionally. then, you know, adoption is the only trauma people expect you to be grateful for. And, you know, like I've heard Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: them do like, well, you had such a good family and you should be so grateful to them. Like for what? Like they wanted a baby. Fuck you talking about? Like. They were baby shopping. and the adoption industry. Right, right. Like, and I didn't ask Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. I accomplished their dreams. They should thank me. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: for this, and they were a good family. did do, when I had a problem, they did everything in their power to try and handle it. And, know, like Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: they sent me to therapy, they tried to get me on medication. And, you know, also that was the other thing. Once these doctors started having them put me on medication, things got worse for me because I'm, you know, they had me missed out the most and these med, I do not do well with Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): That's the first one. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: medication. I don't do well with medication. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: And it's very dangerous what happens when these medications go wrong and nobody ever wants to talk about it. You know, and now we have this Lindsay Clements Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: case showing the whole world why we need to talk about it. Like, you know, it's, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: it's horrible. And these, these companies are just making so much money off of the trauma, addiction, and insanity of Americans, and we're not getting to the core problem of things. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah. We're learning as a society that again, we don't fit in left or right, blue or pink. we Elizabeth Mikotowicz: No. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): don't fit in that. Like we even process information differently. And so Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Absolutely. and you you might be able to take an antidepressant. If I take an antidepressant, you know, depending on what it is, I could start hallucinating and hearing voices and, you know, try to kill Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: him. Like, these are very real things. The doctors... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And without even going without even escalating to like prescription stuff, I know someone that if they take Advil, they will die. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, my step Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Bodies process things differently. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yes, yes, absolutely. And yeah, so you know. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You can have a glass of milk. You can have a glass of milk. A glass of milk would take me down for at least a day. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, that, exactly. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): We process shit differently. Whether it's food, whether it's information, we process shit differently. It's not that simple. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: you bring up food? So come to find out if I don't eat processed foods and stuff with like a lot of food dye and food coloring in it, I Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: don't get manic. Like if I eat that stuff, I'll be up for two hours and not be able to sleep. So that's Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. What's that red red color, whatever whatever whatever red coloring that they use? I for red color no twenty nine or something. That shit sets people off. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, don't do well with any of them like I will literally never sleep like it's crazy and you know that could have made Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: me 20 years of playing Russian roulette with their medications if someone had just you know Analyze my diet and you know, maybe worked out, you know, I Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: like a vitamin D deficiency like in the winter to that happens up north where there's no sun, like you get seasonal depression Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: disorder and it's like there's so many other things. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I live in California and I have a vi vitamin D deficiency. I sit outside. I sit outside for lunch. I do all the things outside and I still have a deficiency. I have to take a vitamin D pill. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, and you know, people don't understand like how sensitive some people are to this stuff and it's like, man that could be like, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: like I always joke and say no I can't eat that because it makes me bipolar and you know, it's the truth though. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. That's what tequila does to me. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Thank We need to go back to all of us. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): All right. So we are late teens. You're starting to you know, you're starting to break the rules a little bit. Everybody did. Almost everybody did. We got some good people out here who don't have the balls to do fucking wild shit, but those are the boring ones. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, right, right. Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): So you're starting to you're starting to date. You're starting to get into trying to grow into a a young woman. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: So actually at 15, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Right. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I met my daughter's father and he was like 24. So I didn't realize I was being pregnant. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You're how old? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I was 15, he was 24. I didn't realize I was being preyed on by a predator. He actually went for a younger girl after me once like we split up for a little bit. yeah, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Did you get too old? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: at one, yeah, he's just, and the funny thing is like he actually admitted to me that he like, violently raped a girl because she wouldn't put out, you know, at a party or whatever. And that was when I was just, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Jesus. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I literally left like the next day. My daughter had jumped in there. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): What the hell is happening in Maine? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: A lot, a lot. There's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of good men up there, but there's a lot of bad ones as well. Like they have their little white Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: supremacy, you know, community and it's, They're so low key about it because they know like society doesn't accept it and it's taboo. like you actually like, and Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I will say this misogyny and racism go hand in hand. You will not find a white man Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: who is racist but not misogynistic or misogynistic but not low key racist. Like they go hand in hand and it's just, you know, it's bad. So he, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. So they're not they're they're not gonna hate black and brown people and say, hold the door open for they're they're just gonna be dicks all around. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Exactly. Well, they might, they might hold the deal with him as a manipulation tactic and make you think they're a good guy. you know, and yeah, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I six months pregnant on Christmas, he pushed me on my stomach and I went started going into labor like early and Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Wha how old were you when you got pregnant? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: 18. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Eighteen. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, the pharmacy company switched my birth control to a generic brand because they didn't want to pay for it. generic brands, this is what a nurse told me. The nurse told me that generic brands are allowed to be like 37 % less effective. I don't know the exact number. Might want to fact check that, but that is what a nurse told me like after I got pregnant on a generic birth control, because I'm like, I don't understand. Like I took it every day. what's going on, like this stuff worked like two years and then all of sudden they switched me to this and it just didn't work anymore and she's like, yeah, that's because it's generic. And I'm like, that is crazy. And yeah. And it's funny because like my biological family, all the women get pregnant super easy. Like my mom has six kids, my grandmother had eight, my cousin has four, my other cousin has five. The women, the generational trauma is get pregnant and flee for your life. That is the continuing pattern of the women in my biological family. And they always defend these shitty men. We have a couple men that are, like I said, they're MAGA, so already you know. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): So they're not opening doors. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: No, I'm not being honored, but they think they're, you know, whatever. Like we have predatory men in our family and these women will bend over backwards to protect them. And it's like, I won't, I don't care if they're my uncle or my brother or whatever. They harmed women and they're awful men. I don't want them around my son. I don't want them around my daughter. Like I'm not going to protect them because we have the same bloodline. I'm not gonna do it. And so that kind of got me blacklisted Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: from my biological family. Me and my little sister, Victoria, are the black sheep of that family. They want to burn us at the stake because we're not Christian and we like the mystic side of life. And we like to read the Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Gnostic text versus the King James Bible and they don't like that. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Sure. Yeah. You challenge their belief system, so they don't really want you around. Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Exactly. And we'll say it right to their face. We'll call them a predator protector right to their face. you know, they don't like that. So. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): me and yeah, facts over feelings until the facts don't give a fuck about your feelings. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Exactly. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): There I mean there the facts are in. They it's there. It's there. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yep. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): and yeah, and it's a good representation. Like everything that you're saying is kind of like adding color to the the the picture of the administration and all the people that are running this country right now. It's you're we can Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): take the mentality that you just got done explaining and putting it to all these rich people and And it's no surprise that we're in the situation where we're in. They don't want Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, absolutely. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): you protesting because you're challenging their belief system and their belief system is that they're better than you. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: You know what's funny? A girl in my prison unit tried to order the banned books of the Bible while we were in jail, because she was talking to me about it. She's like, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I'm going to order them and then we can read them together. I'm like, cool. I didn't know there were banned books of the Bible. Like, what? Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: The prison told her she couldn't have them because they were on the banned list. So naturally, when I got out, I had to read all of them. But yeah, I highly recommend those books. If you guys are unpacking your Christianity and all that stuff, it'll spin Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: your head right around. I suggest starting with the Gospel of Judas. That's a great one to start with. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I keep I keep joking around about doing this, but I the more it happens, the more the more I need to take it more seriously. I want to start a book club. Cause you Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yes! Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): guys you guys tell me about some incredible books. And so I need to I need to I need to I need to probably make that list. Yeah, because all these books, like we're talking about the the Gospel of Judas. We're talking about they took out the Gospels of Mary Magdalene. They took out Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Mary Magdalene, they took out the gospel of Mary Magdalene because she was Jesus's wife. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And that's the thing, that's the thing. when I talk to I grew up very religious. my family's still very religious. I got folks that still go to church every week and all the things, all the things, all the things. And I say and I say Imagine, imagine being the Jesus that you think, where he's just this loner and he's got 12 friends and they're just out, you know, rabble rousing and doing whatever. And then they catch him and they beat him and they kill him and they whatever. Like, all right, cool. Now imagine someone having a wife and kids. And then they arrest him. He now he's got way more to live for. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And so the and so the the sacrifice that this person made with the wife and kids, you don't think like he has to really believe in the shit that he's saying in order to give up not just his life but his relationship with his wife and his kids. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: put them at risk too because, you know, it's not like, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: it's not like they killed people alone back then. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah. They took your family. Well. Okay, so you have lived a hell of a life and we're not even past your teens yet. So now you're a mom, you got this dude who's a older creep and he's whipping your ass on the daily, or like after you had a kid, did he pull up on you? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: My daughter's father, he was kind of like fighting a girl that could beat me up. It wasn't like the violence with him was that bad, except when I was pregnant, because you're pregnant and can't really defend yourself. But my son's father, that was like one hit and I'd be in the hospital with bone showing type. injury. Like it was, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Jesus. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: it was, it was very different. you know, he was like six, three, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: 250 pounds. Like most men were scared of him. So, you know, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: now I'm dealing with, you know, something much worse. And he was sadistic too. Like he would trap me in the bathroom and like torture me for hours. Like he'd make me strip naked and be like, you're going to die in that fucking tub. And then he'd like take knives and act like he was going to stab me and then stop like right before he like, pierced my skin, he strangled me with my own curling iron cord, like he burned me with cigarettes, like it was sadistic, the shit he did. And then it turned sexual, so I got a whole bunch of screws loose regarding that. And the final showdown, yeah, when I tried to leave, he held me hostage, beat me and raped me for three days in my own home. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Is this still in Maine? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yes, this is still in Maine and you know. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): fuck Maine. I'm never going to Maine. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: They're just a couple lone animals. But I mean, you can find these men anywhere. Like America breeds these Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Sure. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: type of sociopaths. mean, look at the manis- right Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: now. You know, he would have loved- back then he would have loved Andrew Tate. That would have been his, you know, type thing. you know, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah, yeah. I c Elizabeth Mikotowicz: so, you know, he thought women- Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): What a clown. What and and Elizabeth Mikotowicz: exit. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): and and for for young people that might watch this and might know who Andrew Tate is, it's all false. All of it is false. All these guys, they say those things. Not not that they d the lifestyle. How they treat other people, that shit is is I I don't I I don't pollute my thoughts with that dumb shit. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, you know, it's. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): But that's not the way to do it. We are learning that the Tates and even some of the the one there was one dude that was running for office in Florida. I forget his name right now. He's got a big beard. That Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, I know. I know it's not that good. Yeah, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): dude, like come to find out he rented his life. All of these guys are renting all these cars and that they're borrowing shit to prove to you Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Listen, it's my new- Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): that they have that they're cool like that. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, if I even hear men talking about a Bugatti instant run flag, I want nothing to fucking do with you. I that's literally like I will not. Now they're like pheromone maxing, drinking their own piss and like sweating and they think that like women are going to like that. I mean, it's just it's insanity. You know. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. No. No. It's not they're trying to go back to like they're trying to go back to caves and shit. I just learned Elizabeth Mikotowicz: There's He's dead, I see it. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): about that. I learned about like that some of these guys are walking around not not washing their ass before they go out. Son, nobody wants to smell that shit. Cause they're pheromones. No, you smell like Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, because they think they're naturally... No, they think they're naturally fair-minded. I'm gonna like... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): psicote, son. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: You are walking a yeast infection. No girl is gonna hit that. No girl is gonna hit that. You're gonna Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): No Elizabeth Mikotowicz: fuck somebody's PHA. Like that's disgusting. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You're gonna fuck someone's pH up. That's hilarious. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Seriously, that's all I think of when I see these dudes talking about pheromone maxing. Like, dude, stay the fuck away Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: from me. ew. You are... I mean... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. That shit that shit is wild. That shit is wild. Whatever happened to having like dressing nice and having a you know, a job and shit like that. No, you gotta yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Cologne! Women love cologne! Women love cologne! Like, cologne! Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Like, what is going on? Like, I don't know what timeline this is, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: but I'm not mentally stable enough for it. I know that. I think Andrew Tate is secretly gay. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): But at the same time at the same time at the same time, like I I see women at the at the grocery store wearing pajamas and shit. Like where are we going? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: wear pajama pants sometimes. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Which is fine Which is fine. I'm not I'm not judging at I'm not judging what you wear to the goddamn grocery store. I'm just saying People in general are just like they're using this I gotta be me thing as an excuse to to be lazy or to be just dude, just go wash your ass. It's gonna work way better than smelling like Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, you can at least shower. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): fucking armpits. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right? But you can at least shower under your PJs. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): At least, at least, we're trying to minimize all the dumb shit that's trying to kill us. And exactly what Elizabeth said, all these yeast infections, all those all your all your whatever the fuck you cheese is building up on your nuts. You gotta wash all that shit off before you catch something, son. Stop being so nasty and so lazy. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, I don't know. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Anyway. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Dude, who do you like? I can only imagine like the douchebag at the top of this that started that whole pheromone maxing drinking your own piss like they're Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: laughing right now. They are laughing at these men like the biggest joke. Like they I bet they're sitting there thinking I didn't think that would work. They actually fucking did that shit. What? Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And that's just it, right? So like so that like if we're if we're follow that path, you're a guy who thinks that you're all that and a bag of chips. So much so that girls are gonna wanna smell your funky nuts. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: and piss breath. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And then when the girl says, No, you have funky nuts, we're not doing that, then they escalate and then they escalate and then they escalate. And then they start telling other girls the stories about exactly what you just got done saying. All you had to do is Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): wash your ass and and speak in proper fucking sentences. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: and not be a piece of shit. Respect and freedom Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And not be a piece of shit. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: as a human being goes a long way instead of I'm gonna make you submit to me. That is why. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. And then they and then they listen to people like what's that little knucklehead Mexican kid? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Nick 20. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): he's he's Nick Fentes just outside Chicago. Nick Fuentes says, Sleeping Elizabeth Mikotowicz: day. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): with girls are gay and all these knuckleheads are like, Yeah, that's dumb. It's like, What are you doing? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: They're literally listening to closeted gay men. Nobody can convince me that Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Ysutate and Nick Fuentes aren't gay. they all of those men like men. They don't like women. They just Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: want they just use women as like a status symbol and you know, yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Men do that. in my younger 20s, in my 20s, I did not pick up on that. I had to learn that lesson the hardest way possible and not even like within the relationship. It was what came after when I got out of those relationships and I was like hustling on the street and, you know, yeah, it was bad. It was really bad. I'll put it this way. There are pictures of medieval suffrage devices in my discovery that were used on women. allegedly. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm. That's a mentality that I don't that I'm glad doesn't make sense to me. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I'm glad. Yeah, and and I grew up I grew up single mom, three kids. and she she made sure that I was gonna have no part of any of that shit. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): None of it. None of it. Because that shit doesn't make sense. That Elizabeth Mikotowicz: now. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): you acting like a complete fucking clown and then making videos bragging about you being a fucking clown doesn't help society at all. Not in the least. That's Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Not at Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): a selfish move. That's a selfish move. They're going for the bag and there's people that fall for it. Why? Because they're lost. Because our infrastructure Everything, the schools, the food, everything is just in shambles to where everyone feels lost and nobody knows what to do next. And the and if I make the wrong move, there goes all my money and there's no more jobs left. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: You know, we also live in a society where they purposely get us addicted for profit so they can send us to prison, make us work for pennies a day. And once we're labeled addicts, the state can come in and take our children and traffic them in the state to billionaire pedophiles. So, you know, that's the systematic Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Jesus. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: nonsense that we're dealing with. You know, I can't tell you how many women I was in prison with and the state took their children. when they went to prison, the state didn't know where their kids were. They could not tell these mothers where their children were. And I understand they broke the law and went to jail, probably was an addict, whatever. But when you have government agencies who are in charge of children and they are losing this many children on a yearly, monthly, weekly basis, we have a big problem. And, you know, like I made $5.25 a month working 40 hours a week in prison. And these are hard jobs. Like they had women doing construction. Like you work, you work for actual corporations that are lobbying against livable wages and they get, you know, cheap labor. Like they'll pay the prison maybe what, like $8 an hour or something around there. for the prisoners Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: and then the prisoners get paid nothing. That is quite the financial incentive to criminalize everything. you know, like I always say this, slavery was rebranded. It never went away. It just got rebranded into mass incarceration and you know, all this stuff. like, 70 % of incarcerated women had some sort of domestic violence or sexual assault before we ever even got arrested. And like, that's what happened to me. Like, I wasn't an addict. Like, I drank. I drank more than I should have. I was, you know, us millennials, we, yeah, we loved to go to the clubs and we loved to have a Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You're in your twenties. You're in your twenties, right? A twent twenty something twenty something drinking a lot? Like Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, right. Yeah. I'm so glad that younger generations are over that shit because, you know, the 80s was like sex, drugs, rock and roll. And the 90s, well, they killed us millennials off. Like half of us are gone, you know, from the opioid epidemic. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: And, you know, when I got that head injury, pregnant, mind you, I tried to refuse the opioids they were giving me because I was like, I've already watched. all of my friends in my community go down the toilet because of these pills. Like I don't want to take them. And they said, you're on too small of a dose. You won't get addicted. And if you don't take it, then we're going to have to call CPS on you because you're pregnant and you're not listening to doctor's orders. And I was just a, you know, 20 year old scared kid. Well, I wasn't a kid, but I was a young adult who didn't know how to advocate for myself. Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): No but still, twenty twenties you're still. you're just coming out Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, and so, I just wanna- Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): of kid dumb, I guess, but Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. And so I don't get... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You still you still don't know what the hell you're doing. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: No, you don't. You don't have a clue. I started getting seizures from that head injury. Like that injury altered my life overnight. Like I would go deaf and blind for moments at a time. I couldn't drive anymore. My daughter had to start staying with me. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Cause this dude 'cause this dude went up and and and whipped your ass? Like all of this happened because he beat your ass? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, he hit me with a wooden dowel right above my right eye. And you could see my skull when it happened. I couldn't move this eyebrow for two years after it happened. And it's funny because a month before that, he ragdolled me all over the room and I hit the back of my head off of a radiator, needing stitches again. So I had two head injuries right back to back. And that second one basically did me in. And I would drop. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Can I ask you can I something can I ask you something that might break my heart to ask you? What is the feeling of is it despair? Is it the unknown? But what is it that when you're going through something like that, what is it that's going through your head? and then explain to people why why someone in that situation might not it might not be just that easy to just get up and leave. You know what I mean? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: So first of all, it's shocking. It's absolute like you're kind of like... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): When someone that you love is beating your ass, you're like, What the fuck is happening? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, you're literally like, did that really just happen? And your shock is and then, you know, the pain, the betrayal and, you know, the hurt kicks in and then the anger Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: kicks in, you know, and here's the thing. I wanted to get help. I thought about it and I also wanted to get help for my addiction. But the thing is, I was poor. I was in the poor class and CPS comes and takes women's children if you report abuse, if you report that your addiction is getting out of control. They don't help you. They just come and take your kids and say, you're not safe anymore. So, you know, that was my biggest fear. And that's why I didn't tell anything because, know, I didn't. And it's crazy because I put my daughter with my father, not just because of the head injury. Well, yes, because of the head injury, I could not physically keep her safe, going into seizures constantly and like waking up on the ground not knowing how long I was out for, that's not safe for a toddler. So, you know, I put her with my father, but also I was like, I can't have her see this. I can't have her watch me going through this. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): That is definitely gonna traumatize her and the and the and the cycle continues. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, and you know, my son, my son was around for more of it than she was and he would wait, I would wake up screaming, like freaking out in my sleep. Like it got, my PTSD got so bad, I would not lay down with my kids and like go to sleep with Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Can't even imagine. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: because I was so scared. I'd wake up thrashing and kicking and you know, freaking out and my biggest fear was I would hurt them unintentionally, you know, fighting monsters in my sleep that were no longer there. And so, remember this clear as day too. I remember waking up to my son screaming and freaking out because he heard me. He was scared about what was happening to me and for like a couple years, like if I even banged my leg or any type of distress, like I'd be like, ow, shit or anything, he'd come running, mama, mama, you okay? Mama, don't cry. And it was just the saddest thing. And you know, I know that affected him. But I mean, when I got home from prison, I went outside to smoke cigarette and he had a panic attack thinking that a man was gonna come hurt me. And you Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: know, he wasn't old enough to like remember it but it doesn't matter the body remembers trauma you know the body can score you know whether you can Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. And your subconscious too. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: absolutely and so you know i think Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Your subconscious houses all that shit. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. And yeah, so that that was really hard. And, you know, I went to a battered women's shelter eventually when after he hospitalized me for the final time, choked me to the point my windpipe collapsed. And the worst part about that is that there wasn't a single mark on my neck. Like he crushed my windpipe and the medical community says. You can suffocate up to 12 hours after being strangled. That's not true. I would randomly suffocate. The last time I randomly suffocated was eight months after this injury. Like my throat would literally just close like that. And I would have to chug water. Like no air would get in or out. I would have to chug water to open my windpipe up just to be able to breathe. And then it would close again. Anytime I got Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Jesus. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: hiccups, if I got hiccups, it would happen to me. If I moved a certain way, it would happen to me, like it was terrifying. And then when I went to prison, a girl tried to, was in the halfway house. She got sent back, well, once she got out of a coma. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): What was it? Let's let's let's let's get to that. So then you can start telling us those stories too, 'cause we keep coming back to this big point in your life. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Well, this ties into it. drank a bunch of water to try and pass a drug test and she drank so Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: much water, her kidneys shut down and she went into a coma. so that was like, dude, I was drinking so much water when these fits would happen, I'd throw up. And so that was like another like traumatic epiphany, like, that great. Another way I could have fucking died. Like it's just. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: On and on it goes. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Jesus. Alright, so I think personally I d I we need to we need to move on to the to the prison part because my heart is breaking. Like Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I'm sorry. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): No, and it's not and it's not it Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I break the moon. I break the moon, men. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): it's not it's not about my feelings or anything. It's just like I cannot I cannot fathom the thought of that. And I and I start getting into well what what did he go through and who taught him about that shit and all that other stuff and da-da-da. And it it right now it doesn't matter. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): but but like the the the the bigger picture that I'm seeing is like I've heard stories like yours in the past and I've seen things and blah blah blah. And it and it it it frustrates slash infuriates me that this shit is happening. And that the people that are supposed to help with these situations, they keep selling out to people with money. Instead of improving society to make it to make it A society that we build each other up and that we we Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): we we we we live in a way where someone doesn't feel the need to whip someone's ass to the point where they're ragdolling Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): you around the fucking room. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Well, this shit is glorified. Violence and sociopathy. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And this shit and this shit and this shit is happening and then they say and then they say, it only happens in the black neighborhoods. then if it only happens in the black neighborhoods, we don't care about them. So we might as well just let that happen. And here we are, Maine. This is happening in Maine. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: What did you get? 94 % white people out there, by the way. And domestic violence is a common thing. And all the women in my family, all of us in my biological family, all white as can be, we've all had abusive men. you know, my son, I'm so proud to say that my son is so much better than all of that. But you know, the men in my family, you know, aren't. They're not, they're not good. you know, I think abused mothers can pass on trauma to their sons as well. know, they're, yeah, especially Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: with, you know, white women, I think there's a very toxic mommy culture in America as well where they think their sons can do no wrong and how dare you reject my son and there's a lot of that and it's disgusting. Like I felt so bad. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): That's wild to listen to. That's wild to listen to. Someone saying you're not good enough for my son and they're mistreating and Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, yeah. Like these mothers are horrific. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): That's crazy. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Like abusive men have some type of mommy issue and like, yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. 'Cause they took 'cause their moms their moms have have taught them that that you know, the the system is for you. The sill the system is built for you. Now Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Absolutely. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): go out and take advantage of it and do whatever it takes for you. And these motherfuckers, they if it's cheating, okay. If it's whipping someone's ass, okay. If it's embezzlement, okay. Like There's no Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): there's no guardrails specifically for white dudes because there's white dudes that are out here talking a bunch of fucking bullshit. That's why we have only one black president out of forty what do we have? Forty seven now? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, 47. Fallon 47. was. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): It's that culture, it's that culture that and and this goes more for just white dudes will talk to you like they know that the situation like like American rules are set up to benefit them. They know it. They know it. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. And then they act like they're the biggest victims of all. my God. It's like, think Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: they are oppressed and it's so exhausting. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah. And then they d yeah, there there's so many, so many examples. So many examples in politics. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, Trump's the biggest victim of all, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): So many Elizabeth Mikotowicz: the biggest witch hunt ever. I mean... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): he's a coward. He's a coward. So what was it what was it that got you busted? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: So I went to the battered women's shelter and I was turned away with two beds open. First they called me a liar because I wasn't crying like all the other women that show up there. And I was like, I had a knife held in my face at seven months pregnant and he said, one more tear rolls down your cheek and I'll cut your face off. I'm also neurodivergent so I don't have the same reactions as people. So I went and I got the police report. and they did a complete 180 and said that my injuries were too extensive and it put the other women in the shelter in danger. So that was Bruce Run, also known as Partners for Peace up in Maine. I didn't cry on the proper cue for them. So yeah, they didn't let me stay. So it was drug dealers who helped me. Because I just lost my apartment because of his nonsense. I was in public housing and the cops showed up and there was the mental violence issue. So they kicked me out. And I was now homeless. I signed temporary guardianship over to my father because I didn't want him showing up with his parents and the cops and just taking my son and having to go through that nightmare. And like I couldn't physically care for them. full time anyway with all the seizures I was having, so I started selling drugs. And I caught a non-violent drug charge and in 2011, bath salts hit. I don't know, all these synthetic drugs were coming into gas stations, head shops and all this stuff. So basically what happened is an Israeli chemist wanted to help people expand their consciousness legally because of course they're from Israel. And he found that if you take illegal substances and you just tweak them a little bit in a lab, it's a whole new substance and they don't show up on a street test. So that's what he did with heroin, meth. That's what bath salts is. It's two components different from crystal meth, just tweaked a little bit. And so now he, it's legal. It's a legal substance and they pack it. The marketing was brilliant. If you're a diabolical sociopath. So they would market it not for human consumption, plant food. They'd marketed as plant food or bath salts. So it had a purpose to be on the shelf. So now they're being sold in America and head shops and gas stations, all this stuff. And we were getting it. by the pound and they mass produced it in China and Asia. So setting China up to be the thing and take the fall. Yeah, you guys can look this up. This man's name is Dr. Z. It's also in my book. And this flooded America and they needed a way to get their prison numbers up. And it's funny because all this shit had been banned in Israel. And then all of sudden, a few years later, it sweeps America. All that Mali Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: that was on the street, the Mali, it wasn't really Mali. Yeah, that was this. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): fuck. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: yeah, yeah. You putting it together now, huh? So the prison number skyrocketed. The children in family services skyrocketed. I think it went up 8 Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: % kids in foster care and my dumb ass, I was like, well, it's legal. So how bad could it be? The government wouldn't allow highly addictive substance to be sold over the counter. No fucking way. My dumb Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: ass, believing in the American dream, hadn't quite lived enough nightmares yet. So yeah. that happened. They then they hit us with the analog. So I did seven months in the state because it it gave a false positive for cocaine. But once you send it to a lab like it shows what the substance really is. So I also got caught with some suboxone. So I did seven months in the state. And then in 2013, the feds picked it up and made it into a conspiracy analog substance case, which means it was legal. but it has similar properties to an illegal substance. So I ended up with three years and three years in prison, three years probation. And that's basically where my book starts. When indictments drop and I go on the run and I get arrested on my birthday, mind you, it was September 5th. Yeah. So I... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Were you d were you you're on the run like you're you didn't want to go to jail. You're like, fuck this, I'm gonna disappear. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, yeah, I cut my hair, I dressed like a boy. Good thing there were no Republican transgender laws because I'd have been hit. Yeah, I literally dressed like a boy and cut my hair to avoid the feds. And I had 13 other co-defendants and we, yeah. We went to prison and some people got, I think the longest sentence was 18 years. I mean, other people in my case had guns, everything else. I was just the drug dude. Like I didn't mess with guns. There were a couple other megalo-egotistical sociopaths that were involved as well. One guy, he was a dub fucking loser. who never got the girl he wanted and just, you know, one of those red pill douchebags that think women owe him something. And when he got this position in the street, his head blew up. And it, I, you know, I compare him to Donald Trump in my book because like I watched this man escalate and it was terrifying. Like. the gaslighting tactics that were used and you know he had a few dangerous connections that put him in that position of power on the street and it went through his head. He wasn't gangster, he wasn't, he was just, he lived next to the right family connected to the right, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. So now what you know is who you know. Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: yeah. And they gave him their shot and he fucked it up bad. But yeah, and of course once he got arrested, he spilled his whole soul. had a CI number and an SI number. He was a double registered rat and I didn't even know that could happen. Like he had a CI number with a state and an SI number with the feds. Like I didn't know he could do that until I saw it in the paperwork. Like, you Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): That's crazy. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: know, I will never forget sitting in my cell, like going through all of this paperwork. It came in boxes. It was 16,000 pages of evidence in my case. And I'm going through all of these pictures and all of the horrific things that like I had disassociated and like convinced myself, it was just a bad trip. I was just, you know, high. There was no blaming it on the drugs anymore. And it was having to look that reality in the face and like really like process how bad it was. Like, throw me the- Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Explain to people and and then I'll let you go. or I'll I'll let you keep going, but explain to people that lifestyle. You're hanging out with what'd you say, like sixteen other folks, they got guns, they got all the things, and you're selling drugs and all that thing. Is there like really cool background music playing while you guys are setting things up? Is it is it as Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): cool as they make it be on TV? Or is it boring as fuck? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. I mean, it can be boring. Yeah, we had a good time. you know, it was always chaos. There was always chaos happening, especially with basalt, because people would lose their shit and like jump out of windows and do like all kinds of like you heard about that shit in Florida where the guy ate the dude's face. He didn't actually have Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: didn't actually have the basalt in his system. He had some other variation of it. Cause like I said, all they have to do is tweak it a little bit. It's a whole new substance. So, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Sure. Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: like, yeah, it was constant chaos. And yeah, we had fun. We listened to music. We'd be bagging shit up, you know, whatever, but it's not like we were all friends. We were not all friends. There were like little sub crews, you know, involved in this and you couldn't trust anybody. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And did everyone did every yeah, that's the part I was gonna say. Can you trust anyone in that circle? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: You can't trust me. Like, no, and there were people involved. No, it's easy. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): There's no chill. You can't you can't you gotta sleep with one eye open all the time. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Men never listen. And they will get the women involved that are like, I'd be like, dude, this girl is not built for this life. Like you should not be doing this stuff in front of her because one, you're making her an accessory. two, like you're putting all of us in danger and she'll be the first to snitch us out. don't fucking do that. And they would not listen to me. One, because I'm a woman and like they want to act like I was, I was right every fucking time. I was right every single time. And it wasn't even just the women. It was like these loser ass men too that would do dumb shit and you know, blow a spot up or tell the wrong, like you have to watch what you say. Like you can't, there's all kinds of protocol to keep yourself safe as a drug dealer. And I go over it in my book. but yeah, it you are, you are, no, it's Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): But it's not a tutorial. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: to show you how dangerous it is. Like there is no HR department Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Sure. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: to go cry to if you get sexually harassed by your dealer. There's no way to chart to go, like you, you got to handle it and you know, figure out what you're going to do. yeah, it's, it's a rough life. I don't recommend it for any, for anybody. You know, it's glorified and it's glorified because they want it glorified. So people think it's cool. People break the law and then they go to prison and then they get a free labor. They get free labor from it. So, you know, I will never forget when Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): 'cause it feeds yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Ice Cube did an interview and said, we get paid more money to write songs about crime and gangster shit and drugs because the same people that own the prisons own the music companies. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Yep. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: And that's what it's about. And so, you know, they give us music that, you know, we vibe to while we're going through all these things. And it's like, I never would have became a drug dealer if I wasn't backed into a corner and felt like I had no way out. Like, there's a lot of people who do it because they want to be cool or they want to be gangster and then some gangster shit happens. And yeah, you get to see how tough they really Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And a lot of time and a lot of times it's just that they have kids and they have to pay for groceries and they have to pay for shit. And these Elizabeth Mikotowicz: writing. Yeah, absolutely. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): bullshit jobs that these bullshit jobs that the that the minimum wage hasn't moved in like fifteen years or whatever the fuck it is. Like Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): you're forcing people to make decisions to survive. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, and you know, most of these drug dealers, it starts out with getting a prescription at the doctor and the doctor over-prescribing Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: the shit out of people so they don't want to take all of it. I can make some money with your two pills like that. That's what's happening. know, not all that is literally one of the points I make in my book. Not all drug dealers are bad. They were literally just trying to survive this system that exploits them. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): What's the name of your book? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: No justice, just us. So here it is. In the first cell I was ever in, someone had written on the wall, there's no justice in the system. It's just us in the system. yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Congratulations. Like it's a big deal. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Thank you. I came in the fever, by the way. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): What happened? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I painted the cover. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): cool. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, like I painted murals in prison once I was like in there in a few different institutions Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: and like that's how I passed time. That's also I made money. I would take inmates cups and I'd stand them down and then I'd paint them and then I'd seal it with floor wax and you know, people it was kind of like, I know it sounds corny, but it was like giving people like a piece of their identity back. Like when you go to prison, you're stripped of Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: everything. You're given a number. You're given clothes that Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: every other person in there is wearing and it's like you kind of lose the sense of identity. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Similarly, very similarly, instead of jail, I went to the military and they Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Come Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): break you down the same exact way. They give you the same clothes. I turned into a number. what else? Yeah, it it it's and they and they and they and they the media makes it look the commercial where the the soldier comes out, he's got all the guns and shit like that. You know? Like all these things Elizabeth Mikotowicz: and medals and the glory. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): and they they glorify that shit. And then when you get there, you know, I granted joining the military was one of the best decisions I've ever made. But yeah, it's it's very similar. It's a very similar approach. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I guess they get the not to call you a bad kid, but you get some of the kids you get some of the kids with the military commercials and then you get the rest with the you know, Scarface movies and and you know, gone as sixty Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Great. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): seconds and shit, stealing shit. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: There's a chapter in my book called Salute to the Fallen. It's very sad and it's very heavy. It's about an Iraqi veteran I was in solitary with. She lost her shit, couldn't deal with the trauma and tried to go out through a side by cop. So they brought her in with us and yeah, she ended up getting out and killing herself. y'all had just kept her in jail a little bit longer like and I hate it Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Or and I know that this is a big ask, but we change society to let people think that there is more for them if they go to school, if they train to do this thing and they have the scaffolding to help them build their way of life. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): But you know the going back to the the mentality of these people that we continue to talk about, these these folks that think that they're deserved everything. Those are the folks those are the folks that everything that we've ever learned about the MAGA movement and all that stuff is all these guys, all these people want it to be easy for them. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, they don't care what happens to everybody else. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): They don't wanna work. They don't wanna work. They just wanna look at spreadsheets. They don't Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): wanna get in there and and and roll their sleeves up and actually, you know, dig a hole or build a building or whatever it is. They just wanna sit in their nice, cool offices and just just do what I say. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. It's ridiculous. Yeah, that's that's one of the heavier Saturn chapters. Yeah, that that I will never forget that because I became friends with her through the vent and I would sing in solitary like to myself and then when I was singing Russian roulette by Rihanna and all of a sudden I hear this slow clapping through the vents and I hadn't read the paper Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Ha ha ha. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: yet. I had not read the paper yet. So I didn't know why she was there. And my bunkie starts laughing Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: at me. And I didn't know what was going on. She was like, dude, that's the military vet that just like went out, you know, tried to go out by a cop and you're singing Russian roulette. And I was like, great. And yeah, her and I actually ended up being good friends. was, I was really upset when like, people don't normally like get to me in there. Like it was kind of like, Cause it's like a revolving door, like in county, especially there's not a lot of long time, you know, inmates other than the federal inmates. So it's like, it was just another face, but that, that one, you know, that bothered me. Like I just wanted her to get out and be okay. And you know, this is Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: not one of those happy ending stories where, you know, this is real life, real America. And it's brutal. It's as brutal as it gets. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Not to go not to continue to go back to this, but I've in my lifetime I've had a lot of conversations about this and this lifestyle and the decision making process and all that stuff. It's important for people to see that it doesn't happen just in the big cities. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: No. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): It doesn't happen in New York, LA, Chicago. This shit is happening in Maine. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yes, it's happening everywhere. yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: And it's funny because I went back up for my son's birthday, last spring and Bangor has changed. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): High school. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, he graduated high school and yeah, he's in college now, I'm so bringing him. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Congratulations to him. Good good. Yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: There were homeless people, like there were a lot of homeless people You know, the population of homeless people was growing in Bangor, but now it is so bad. Like you have to worry about getting mugged now. Like that was never a Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: problem. Dude, I could walk around till like one o'clock in the morning and not worry about, you know, anything. And now in Bangor, it's a problem. things... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): White folks will rob you. That's how bad shit has gotten. White folks with the system set forward for their benefit will rob you. You can't say shit about Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Alright, yeah, it's finally reached your Bobby Witt. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Chicago anymore. That's it. It's a rap. You can't say shit about Chicago anymore. You can't say shit about Detroit. You can't New Elizabeth Mikotowicz: New York. Great. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): York, LA. Compton, none of that Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah! Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): shit. Compton, it seems to me like Maine has you has you beat. They got white Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, I mean. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): folks that will rob you. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Not even like the fancy way with like embezzlement or you know fraud it's like straight up Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): No, they got yuck mouth and they're talking to you with brown teeth and shit. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: yeah and it's crazy like pretty much like all my old friends are dead from drugs like I was thinking about that the other day like all the people I Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): my god, that sucks. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: that are no longer here because of the opioid epidemic, or you know, the drug epidemic, and it's just crazy to me. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Bananas, for real, for real. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I'm proud of you that you just Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Thank you. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): you had enough you had enough Intestinal fortitude to be like, Yeah, this shit ain't working. I gotta I gotta get the fuck up outta here. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: was lucky. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And look at you, look at you. The you saved yourself 'cause you ran to the black and brown community and we got you. Look at Elizabeth Mikotowicz: I live in a very small like white conservative town actually like it's yeah it's a little bit wild here too but yeah it's crazy because mainly because there's Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): But no, I've known I've known and I've heard of I've known and I've heard of a lot of people that were presented with the same situation that you had to deal with and it didn't come out this way. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): So I want you to take two fucking seconds to like give yourself some love because that's huge. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And people this is how this is how we change culture is Elizabeth Mikotowicz: great. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): We tell these stories and we let kids know, hey, you don't have to do this. You can go to high school and eventually make it to h college. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Great. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You don't have to do it this way. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Absolutely. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): That's all you. And that's all you and it's and now it's in a book. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yup. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Dude, you're an author. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yep. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You're a painter, you're an artist. Fuck yeah, dude. That's how you turn shit around. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Absolutely, I do art shows now like it's great. so I also have an environmentally friendly clothing brand based on my art. Like this is a show. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yes, ma'am, let's do it. Let's show us. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: It's a koi fish. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. And so like I found this company, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): That's cool. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Le Galeriste, and they take your paintings and they put them on this like beautiful, like really good quality, like environmentally friendly clothing. And this Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: is great. Like, I don't know, I was really impressed with the quality. It's in Canada. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): What got you what got you tapped into your creativity? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Well, in prison... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You can keep showing us clothing. You can keep showing us clothing if you want, but I'm like going through such Elizabeth Mikotowicz: So I... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): a traumatic early life, and then you're like, All right, I gotta get the fuck up out of here because this doesn't work, and you're like, Painting will do. Let's write a book then. And then now let's make clothing. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Well, I used it as a coping mechanism. Yeah, I used it art as a coping mechanism, just as a way to deal. Also, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: eat the time up. But I've always been an artist. I always love doing the art classes and the music classes. I was always really good at music. I can hear harmonies by ear, stuff like that. I think we're just, you know. neurodivergence are just wired for being creative. But yeah, it Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): One hundred percent. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: was how I made money in jail. Like it's how I ate and survived. Like I would sell the cups, I'd sell portraits, I'd sell drawings and stuff like that, so people could send it home to their kids. There's also a style of art that I use, because they kept putting me on all these different medications and some of them would go bad, like I said. but I couldn't tell them that they were going bad because they just put me in the turtle suit and like not help me. So what I'd have to do is like distract myself and you know, that that's how, what I did. I zentangle, you guys can look that up. It's a meditative style of art where like you just kind of do these little doodles and designs like, and I would incorporate, you know, affirmations and you know you can you can do all kinds of stuff with it. But yeah. Definitely recommend it if you're struggling. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): We're gonna we're gonna be putting a link to the book, to the clothing, to everything that Elizabeth has going on creatively. So you guys can you know, go shopping. Christmas is right around the corner. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): But that's a that's awesome that that art became a big part of your life when you turned everything back around where you're like, Fuck this, this doesn't work. Art and then you're now you're at this point. That's very, very cool. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Thank you. Yeah, it's been a lot of fun doing shows and like fundraisers and stuff for, you know, good causes and, you know. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): That's cool. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: also work with state reps to get better bills on the table. We got one passed up in Maine mandating all jail facilities provide tampons and pads free of charge for women because we were literally making our own. $5.25 a month was not enough to buy a box of tampons. you know, so very uniforming. This was wild. Like as a former inmate. watching the Hamas is or the Israeli hostages get released from Hamas and they said when we needed tampons they gave it to us no questions asked when you know we needed medical care they gave it to us no questions asked so you I know women Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: who had to show their menstruation to cops before it was even considered then be given the dignity of basic feminine hygiene that we can't get for ourselves So we literally risk infections like making it. And you mean to tell me that a group of labeled terrorists, since y'all want to call them terrorists, fine, let's call them terrorists. Why are terrorists doing better on the humanity scale than American institutions? Because they'll let us bleed. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Hmm. We can go we can we yeah, we can go we can go deep in that one. Why is it that you say giving people benefits like healthcare is gonna make lazy, but yet we're paying for Israel to have universal health care. You you tell us that Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Absolutely. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): our kids don't need to go to school. You're telling us that the schools are don't work and all this stuff. But yet our money is going to Israel for their schools. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. You know, and... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You're telling us that you're telling us that we're not allowed to get abortions and stuff because it's against Jesus and God's God's commandments and all that stuff. But yet you know who can get an abortion, people in Israel. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, pedophiles can also escape there too, which is absolutely infuriating. They have a whole bunch Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Very true. You'd I'm sure I'm sure you heard the story about one of their one of their higher ups was in Vegas and got busted for trying to Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yep. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): knock down some some young boy. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yep, yeah, it's disgusting. you know, I love the Jewish people, but Israel is not the Jewish people. It is an apartheid state using us. And you know, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. The way Yeah. The way I explain it is I'm American and even though we have Trump as a president, I'm still American. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): It's d it's is it's a different the people and the government are two different entities. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Absolutely, It's just disgusting, know, where we're at, And so we, in prison, we used to be able to have like contact visits where you can go up, hug your family. Well, in all the state facilities, they made it so you have no contact visits now. So you have to talk on a phone, you you see those movies where, you know, there's glass. They did that because... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Some CEO who was in Epstein's house, who's in the files literally, is making money off of those telecommunication devices. So you're preventing children from hugging their parents so you can make a buck off of these stupid phones that nobody asked for. Like I understand sometimes, you know, when you have a dangerous inmate or whatever, like you have to have a no contact visit. Fine. But when you're, everybody else, who isn't a threat, who deserves to have contact with their family. You're not gonna allow it because one of Epstein's buddies wants to make money off of keeping you all separate. Like, it's just, like, we have a more, like, I don't have a problem with capitalism. I have a problem with immoral capitalism. And if you are profiting off of people's suffering and insanity and demise, that should not be happening. Like all these health insurance companies denying people, you should all go to prison. You are profiting off of their slow, torturous death because medical procedures and anything medical, it's literal torture when you're going through it. It's awful. You know, whether you're getting paid. Right, whether you're getting paid. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): And the mind blowing part of it, the mind blowing part of it too is as we touched on it earlier, they feed you poison food, Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): then you get sick, and then either you need medication to keep you alive. So now that's another subscription. That's another Elizabeth Mikotowicz: It's one thing. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): subscription. You have to pay your rent because otherwise you're gonna be homeless. That's another subscription. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Then you have to go to work and then and then we find out that the reason why some of these big cities have terrible public transportation is because the car industry went there and made rules against the public transportation to force you into buying a car. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right, right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Majority of us don't need a car. The majority Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): of us don't need a car. If there was good public transportation, we don't need a car. And now with Uber and dumb shit like that, now we d just really don't need a car. Public Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Right. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): transportation is ass. And all Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): of that is because of exactly what you said. They're chasing after the money. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, it's disgusting. Like I have no problem like living in a tiny little, you know, house with, you know, not, I don't need a lot. Like I just want everybody to be okay. Like I genuinely like, I don't, I don't like get, you know, any type of like gratification when, you know, I like have money or what, you know, it's, like, I don't care about it. And I think that's part of my neurodivergence. Like I don't care. Like I didn't care about, you know, brands and dumb shit like that when I was in high school. Like, it's just, like, I think that stuff is so stupid. Like, it doesn't, like, make sense to me. And, yeah. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I'm like that too. I'm like that too. A white t shirt is gonna be a white t shirt, whether you pay five dollars for it or fucking a hundred and twenty five. It's a fucking white t shirt. Relax. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: It's like, you're not allowed to sit at cool kids table. And I don't know what white American obsession with tanning is, but that's another one that irritates my soul in ways I can't explain. Like you think you're better than black and brown people, but you're frying your skin to look like them. then you be like, I remember in middle school, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): The curl their hair. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, and like I remember being made fun of for Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Mm. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: like being pasty white or being so pale. Like, yeah, why would I want to go like burn my skin to fit in with all of you? Like, why would I want to do that? It Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: doesn't make sense to me. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah, I don't I don't get it either. That Elizabeth Mikotowicz: you Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): was my joke. My joke my joke depending on the audience, obviously. My joke is Cubans are like the the the highest rung of, Elizabeth Mikotowicz: The. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): you know, human evolution because white folks tan their skin and color curl their hair, black folks whiten their skin and straighten their hair. Everybody's trying to be Cuban. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: That's funny. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Is there anything we need to make sure that we talk about before I let you go? Elizabeth Mikotowicz: no, I don't think so. Of course, I'll probably think of something later. That's how it always goes with me. But yeah, we basically covered it. yeah, you can get my book on Amazon. you can find me on Instagram, TikTok. I am available for, you know, speaking events, education, recovery events. if y'all like have groups you want to start, I will, I will come speak at those. And I like to help people, help you all however I can. Yeah. Also, these are some of my favorite films. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): I love it. I love it. I love that I love that you You got put through it. And you're when you finally make it out on the other side, you wanna be creative, you wanna help people and you're still laughing and smiling. You've been to you've been put through some shit. And for you to just be like, Okay, Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah man, last week's bingo day. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): here we are Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, man, laughter makes the pain go down easier. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Yeah, for sure. All right. We're gonna wrap this one up. Thank you again, Elizabeth, for coming and sharing your story and and this book sounds like this book sounds like something. So you're Elizabeth Mikotowicz: In the New York Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): gonna pick it up and you're just gonna Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah, it's, I am an example of a bad example. And for, if you have daughters, I suggest you read it because this is a warning to women, a literal warning to women. also dog walks, this bullshit system we're in. and I break down toxic men and you know, red flags and all the psychology of it, everything I've learned. put it all in here and. Part two, will be starting part two in 2027. So it will be the end of the... Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Awesome. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: Yeah. So this book ends when I get to prison. Like part two is gonna be when... Yeah. This is basically my case, and who I got there and all that stuff. So yes, it will be a little bit Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): You're setting a table. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: a piece. Yes. So check it out. I'm working on getting it on other platforms, Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Excellent. Elizabeth Mikotowicz: but yeah. And also I have my clothing site, Le Gallerie. Well, you're going to have it posted. So thank you for having me. was good talking to you. Carlos Gomez (Coconut Justice): Good talking to you too. and with that, everyone, we're out.