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402: Open Ego & Achievements · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

0:02
Nicole Laino: Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to flow without sacrificing results.
0:11
Nicole Laino: Come here to become an unshakable human and build an unshakable business according to your human design.
0:17
Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
0:21
Nicole Laino: Hi, and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design.
0:24
Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Laino, and.
0:25
Nicole Laino: And you and I are here, just the two of us today.
0:28
Nicole Laino: And this episode was inspired by a conversation I had with one of my clients.
0:33
Nicole Laino: She's actually a former client who sent me a message over Instagram because I keep in touch with all of my clients, or at least I try to.
0:41
Nicole Laino: And I love that she felt comfortable enough to reach out to me and ask this, because we worked together for a year.
0:46
Nicole Laino: She was in business by design, and now she's actually going in another direction with her business.
0:51
Nicole Laino: She's going in a more creative route, so she's exploring some other things.
0:55
Nicole Laino: And I love that she's still so committed to doing her own inner work through human design because it's honestly opened up so much for her.
1:04
Nicole Laino: She was one of those people that I read her chart, and it was so like her path was screaming at her, and she had the courage to make a lot of changes in her life so that she could actually follow the path of her design rather than staying with what's comfortable or what made sense on paper.
1:20
Nicole Laino: She really went with her heart.
1:22
Nicole Laino: So.
1:22
Nicole Laino: So her question was, she has an undefined ego.
1:26
Nicole Laino: And she was like, I'm setting goals and I'm trying to get myself on track.
1:31
Nicole Laino: And really, she wants to be successful like all of us do.
1:35
Nicole Laino: And she's like, I'm trying to set goals, but I don't really know how to with my open ego.
1:40
Nicole Laino: She's like, I know we've talked about this before, and this is another thing that even when you've been doing this work for a while and you've had access to somebody like me who will answer your questions and can help guide you, it doesn't mean you don't have questions anymore.
1:53
Nicole Laino: It doesn't mean that some of these things that you thought you worked through don't show up again and have you questioning them.
1:59
Nicole Laino: So for her, it was definitely like, a mental question, because she's like, I want to put these goals down on paper, but something doesn't feel right.
2:06
Nicole Laino: So I wanted to address the overall question.
2:10
Nicole Laino: We're going to talk about the ego center in this episode because it's an Important center, especially when it comes to money and the material way.
2:17
Nicole Laino: It's all kind of connected to the ego center.
2:19
Nicole Laino: It doesn't mean that there aren't other aspects of the chart that have to do with money, but the ego center really has to do with power.
2:26
Nicole Laino: It is power and materialism are very much connected to the ego center and the ego circuit in human design.
2:34
Nicole Laino: So what do you do if you have an open ego?
2:36
Nicole Laino: Can you be successful?
2:38
Nicole Laino: Shortcut answer is yes, but we're going to explain to you how.
2:41
Nicole Laino: And how do you set goals when this center is open and.
2:46
Nicole Laino: And still be aligned?
2:47
Nicole Laino: Like, can I still be aligned?
2:49
Nicole Laino: Was sort of her question.
2:51
Nicole Laino: Can I be materially successful and still be aligned and feel like I'm in alignment with my design, or is anything that I do gonna be not self?
3:00
Nicole Laino: Okay, so I'm gonna break down all of that.
3:01
Nicole Laino: I'm gonna go into a little bit about what the ego center is, what it signifies, and then we'll dive into those questions.
3:07
Nicole Laino: I'll just talk about them kind of as a whole.
3:09
Nicole Laino: Before we get started.
3:10
Nicole Laino: I wanna remind everybody if I haven't.
3:12
Nicole Laino: Maybe if this is the first episode you've listened to in a while, maybe this is the first you're hearing of it or you haven't had a chance to.
3:18
Nicole Laino: But if you're interested in using human design to help you build an aligned and profitable business, I created a secret or private podcast just for you.
3:27
Nicole Laino: It's called Aligned and profitable.
3:29
Nicole Laino: We're not even being tricky with the name.
3:31
Nicole Laino: We're being pretty clear.
3:32
Nicole Laino: It's about building an aligned and profitable business with human design.
3:36
Nicole Laino: So how do you build a business that's really centered around your purpose, what is correct for your alignment, plus have it make you money and support your family, and give you the freedom that you really want from your business?
3:50
Nicole Laino: Your business should support you should make money, it should be profitable.
3:54
Nicole Laino: Or it will be very difficult to feel aligned because you're always going to be in survival mode and that ruins everything.
4:00
Nicole Laino: So we laid it all out in a private podcast.
4:03
Nicole Laino: It's 13 episodes.
4:04
Nicole Laino: You can listen at your leisure, and all you have to do to get it is go to nicoleaino.com forward/secret podcast.
4:11
Nicole Laino: You can grab the link right there, or you can DM me the word secret podcast on Instagram.
4:16
Nicole Laino: I'm icoleno official and we can sign you up there and get you the link for you.
4:20
Nicole Laino: It's all linked up in the show notes as well, so feel free to go down There, if that's easier.
4:24
Nicole Laino: Okay, so let's talk about the ego center.
4:26
Nicole Laino: The ego center is also known as the will center, as in willpower.
4:30
Nicole Laino: It's also known as the heart center.
4:33
Nicole Laino: Now in human design, we have nine centers.
4:35
Nicole Laino: It would be just like the Hindu chakra system if it had seven, but we have nine.
4:41
Nicole Laino: We split off the heart center is one of the reasons the heart chakra is one of the reasons why we have nine.
4:47
Nicole Laino: We split off the heart chakra into two centers, the G center, which is about love, purpose, identity and direction.
4:56
Nicole Laino: And then we have the heart center or the ego will center.
5:00
Nicole Laino: Whichever one tickles your fancy, whichever one you like better use that one.
5:03
Nicole Laino: I tend to call it the ego because I like reclaiming the word ego because I think that it has such a negative connotation to it.
5:10
Nicole Laino: But that's not at all what the ego center is about in its alignment.
5:15
Nicole Laino: So the ego center is the other half of what would be the heart chakra.
5:19
Nicole Laino: And this represents the masculine side of heart energy, which is determination, support, put your heart into it, commitment, that type of heart.
5:30
Nicole Laino: Just miles and miles of heart.
5:32
Nicole Laino: You remember that movie Miles and miles of heart.
5:35
Nicole Laino: That's the ego center because it's the energy to commit.
5:39
Nicole Laino: It's the energy to say you're going to do something and see it all the way through.
5:42
Nicole Laino: It's the energy to see a goal, tackle it and say, I'm going after that thing.
5:46
Nicole Laino: And you put everything you have into it.
5:49
Nicole Laino: That's what the ego center is about.
5:51
Nicole Laino: So let's just talk about what it means to have a center open.
5:56
Nicole Laino: A center open does not mean you don't have that energy at all.
5:59
Nicole Laino: It doesn't mean you never have.
6:01
Nicole Laino: It doesn't mean it's missing.
6:02
Nicole Laino: It just means that your experience with it will not be all the time and it will not be the same way.
6:08
Nicole Laino: So I have a defined ego and I have the channel 2644, the channel of surrender leading from the spleen to the ego center defined.
6:17
Nicole Laino: That's all I have, definition wise in my ego center.
6:19
Nicole Laino: That's my consistent way of experiencing that energy is through that channel and through gate 26.
6:27
Nicole Laino: That's kind of my way.
6:29
Nicole Laino: It doesn't mean it never comes in the other ways.
6:31
Nicole Laino: It just means that is the most consistent way that I experience this energy of taking charge and committing and going after the things that I want.
6:41
Nicole Laino: 26 is a transmitter.
6:43
Nicole Laino: 26 is a messenger.
6:45
Nicole Laino: 26 is a strategist.
6:47
Nicole Laino: I'm thinking about ways to make money.
6:49
Nicole Laino: I'M thinking about ways to succeed.
6:51
Nicole Laino: That's how it shows up for me most often.
6:54
Nicole Laino: Okay, not exclusively, but most of the time, that's how my ego energy will be expressed and experienced by me.
7:01
Nicole Laino: Now, if you have a center open, what that means is that when I say open, it can be undefined or completely open.
7:08
Nicole Laino: We'll use the terms synonymously here.
7:11
Nicole Laino: If you have a white ego center where it is not defined, that means that you're going to have a variable way of experiencing this energy.
7:20
Nicole Laino: This commitments might not be something that always feel easy for you to keep.
7:25
Nicole Laino: You might not find that most people who have an open ego, and I'm not saying this is exclusive, but pretty much when I talk to people and I have these conversations, this is what comes out, is most people with an open ego don't care about much.
7:37
Nicole Laino: Like they do something.
7:38
Nicole Laino: They want to survive.
7:39
Nicole Laino: They want to feel free.
7:41
Nicole Laino: They want to have the things that money will give them, which is to make them feel secure and to be able to do the things that they want.
7:49
Nicole Laino: But the money thing doesn't really turn them on.
7:52
Nicole Laino: The money thing is not what motivates them.
7:54
Nicole Laino: Money motivates me.
7:56
Nicole Laino: I enjoy money.
7:59
Nicole Laino: I love making money.
8:00
Nicole Laino: I feel really good about it, and I had to build a healthier relationship with it.
8:05
Nicole Laino: But it does motivate me.
8:07
Nicole Laino: And I'm motivated by all those other things that money can buy.
8:10
Nicole Laino: But I also love the accumulation of money.
8:12
Nicole Laino: I also love the act of making money.
8:15
Nicole Laino: I think it's fun.
8:17
Nicole Laino: And that's a defined ego thing.
8:19
Nicole Laino: An undefined or an open ego is not usually gonna be driven by that.
8:24
Nicole Laino: And the minute they try to be driven by it, things start to feel off.
8:28
Nicole Laino: Because now you're doing what you should do, not what truly feels aligned for you.
8:33
Nicole Laino: This is how open centers, I call them wagging the dog, the tail that wags the dog.
8:38
Nicole Laino: They are the tail.
8:39
Nicole Laino: They're not your power.
8:41
Nicole Laino: They are not your consistency.
8:42
Nicole Laino: When you try to work from your openness, you'll find that things feel harder.
8:48
Nicole Laino: You feel off, like things are just not right.
8:51
Nicole Laino: There's an inner sense of like, oh, things are just not right.
8:53
Nicole Laino: You're stuck in a pattern.
8:55
Nicole Laino: You're not getting the results that you want.
8:57
Nicole Laino: You might find that you are drained and things take longer or they're taking a lot more energy.
9:03
Nicole Laino: Because I always say that open centers are like buckets with holes in them.
9:07
Nicole Laino: They're a bucket with a hole in it.
9:09
Nicole Laino: And what happens when you pour water or any other liquid substance into a bucket with holes in it, they come right out the bottom.
9:17
Nicole Laino: You can't fill that bucket until you fix those holes.
9:20
Nicole Laino: Yours are open centers, those aren't holes to be fixed.
9:24
Nicole Laino: You're not meant to hold water in that bucket.
9:26
Nicole Laino: So what does that mean?
9:28
Nicole Laino: That means as far as goal setting and as far as achieving and as far as making money, as somebody with an open or an undefined ego center, you can absolutely make money.
9:40
Nicole Laino: Some of the most successful people I know have wide open egos.
9:44
Nicole Laino: You're meant to receive, you're not meant to push.
9:48
Nicole Laino: So when you actually clean out the open ego and you're not pushing from it, you'll find that it's so much easier for you to receive money.
9:55
Nicole Laino: That's number one.
9:56
Nicole Laino: Number two, when you have an open ego, then you can absolutely make money, achieve, have success, have like cross goals off your list.
10:07
Nicole Laino: But the way that happens typically doesn't happen because you chased a goal.
10:12
Nicole Laino: The come from is different.
10:14
Nicole Laino: It's a different intention and a different motivation than I gotta get that thing because usually I gotta get that thing is not terribly motivating for you.
10:23
Nicole Laino: And then you wake up, some days you feel like it and some days you don't and then you feel like a failure and then you're inconsistent and you're supposed to be consistent.
10:30
Nicole Laino: Now we're into all of the conditioning of the outside world.
10:33
Nicole Laino: You should want it, you should have the drive, you should go after it, you should show up every day, you should outwork everyone.
10:38
Nicole Laino: All of those ego centered rules that have been set for us in the entrepreneurial space or in the personal development space about how we get more of what we want, that spits in the face of the open ego.
10:51
Nicole Laino: Because the open ego is like, none of that stuff is really me.
10:55
Nicole Laino: That's not really my way.
10:57
Nicole Laino: So what is your way?
10:58
Nicole Laino: Strategy and authority will lead you to how this shows up for you.
11:03
Nicole Laino: So an example is if you are a generator, it's not going to because you chased the goal and you put 50k months on a board and you reverse engineered that number and you figured out how many offers you needed to sell and you broke it down.
11:19
Nicole Laino: You can do all of that.
11:20
Nicole Laino: That's great information.
11:21
Nicole Laino: But that's not going to be the stuff that gets you up in the morning and pushes you to go.
11:26
Nicole Laino: What's going to get you to that $50,000 number is following the rest of your design.
11:30
Nicole Laino: It's following your profile.
11:32
Nicole Laino: It's following.
11:33
Nicole Laino: If you're a generator, you're going to follow your joy, you're going to follow the things that you just want to do, where your energy wants to go.
11:39
Nicole Laino: Let it lead you.
11:40
Nicole Laino: Because what happens with the open ego is you make a plan and you're not listening to your sacral anymore.
11:45
Nicole Laino: This can also be a problem for people with a defined ego.
11:48
Nicole Laino: We still need to listen to where our energy wants to go.
11:51
Nicole Laino: We still need to project or still need to pay attention to where the recognition is.
11:56
Nicole Laino: And here's the thing with the open ego.
11:58
Nicole Laino: When it's open, you actually might have something to offer people in the way of not needing to prove themselves.
12:06
Nicole Laino: But you first must discover that wisdom and embody that wisdom in yourself.
12:10
Nicole Laino: You can't sell a gift until you've embodied a gift.
12:13
Nicole Laino: So the come from is the big difference.
12:16
Nicole Laino: The come from of where your action comes from.
12:20
Nicole Laino: That's the key differentiator.
12:22
Nicole Laino: So it's really about setting those goals, but then almost pushing them to the side and.
12:28
Nicole Laino: And really getting into the rest of your design and the rest of the things that are driving your action.
12:33
Nicole Laino: So if you're a projector, you're going to be all right, I have an open ego and I'm a projector.
12:37
Nicole Laino: What do I do?
12:38
Nicole Laino: Well, it's still gonna be sharing your wisdom.
12:41
Nicole Laino: It has to come from that place of like, I wanna help.
12:43
Nicole Laino: And not because you're necessarily sabotaging yourself to work from an egocentric place of wanting to achieve something.
12:52
Nicole Laino: It's just you'll probably find that it's not sustainable and it drains you quickly.
12:58
Nicole Laino: But when you show up in love for what you do, or because you genuinely have something that you care about, that you want to share, and that's coming from your truth and from your power in your design, rather than from your openness, which is meant to receive things about others and about other theme outside of yourself.
13:19
Nicole Laino: If you paid attention as an open ego, you'd probably know a lot about the people who are running on ego fuel and how they're out of alignment.
13:28
Nicole Laino: You probably have an understanding.
13:29
Nicole Laino: You probably know when somebody's ego is really out of adjustment, when they're really not as confident as they say, when they're maybe posturing or showing up in authentic way and they want to make themselves feel big, you probably are very sensitive to that.
13:43
Nicole Laino: You won't actually be able to hone in on that wisdom unless you are leaning back into that and not working from it.
13:51
Nicole Laino: So it's really going to be you leaning back into your definition, into what's consistent for you.
13:57
Nicole Laino: That's what leads you to everything that you've been waiting for.
14:02
Nicole Laino: That's what leads you to the project that you know your sacral is so excited about.
14:07
Nicole Laino: That may not align with the plan that your ego set out.
14:11
Nicole Laino: If you did it that way.
14:12
Nicole Laino: Now you're not listening.
14:13
Nicole Laino: Now you're not following your energy.
14:15
Nicole Laino: Now you're drained, now you're frustrated.
14:17
Nicole Laino: Why?
14:18
Nicole Laino: Because you're working out of your ego.
14:20
Nicole Laino: You can get to the same result to the same end game, but it's a different path that you take.
14:26
Nicole Laino: Okay, you're not here to prove yourself if you have an open ego.
14:30
Nicole Laino: I am.
14:31
Nicole Laino: And trust me, the defined ego has plenty of work to do because there's so many people out there working from an unhealthy ego.
14:39
Nicole Laino: It's something that I need to be in check with all the time for myself as well.
14:43
Nicole Laino: Am I in a healthy expression of this energy or am I pushing?
14:46
Nicole Laino: Or am I feeling like I'm not good enough so I'm pushing harder again, come from matters for me too.
14:52
Nicole Laino: Strategy and authority is usually what saves me from that and a lot of inner work on digging out and excavating all the past small T trauma that was built up in that center.
15:02
Nicole Laino: But I hope that this helped.
15:05
Nicole Laino: That was, I thought, a really interesting conversation that I had with her over the DMs.
15:08
Nicole Laino: And I know there are.
15:09
Nicole Laino: I mean Statistically, I believe it's 65% of the world has the ego open.
15:15
Nicole Laino: So it's the vast majority of people.
15:18
Nicole Laino: Yet we live in this ego driven world where we're taught to embody and prize these very ego driven themes and characteristics and it's out of alignment for most of the population.
15:29
Nicole Laino: So I thought that this would be hopefully very useful and interesting for everybody about how the ego center plays in our goals and achievements and ultimately in our prosperity.
15:41
Nicole Laino: So I hope you loved it.
15:42
Nicole Laino: I appreciate you.
15:43
Nicole Laino: If you want to get your hands on the Secret podcast because you want to build an aligned and profitable business for yourself or at least see what the whole plan looks like.
15:50
Nicole Laino: I've found that so many people leave things out when they talk about what it takes to be successful.
15:55
Nicole Laino: And someone asked me, I don't even know how you get to 30000 months.
15:58
Nicole Laino: Can you explain it to me?
16:00
Nicole Laino: So that's what I did.
16:01
Nicole Laino: The aligned and profitable framework with human design is how you build your business to be profitable, but also to be an expression of who you are.
16:09
Nicole Laino: So.
16:10
Nicole Laino: So that every day you love your business a little bit more and every day it gives back to you a bit more.
16:15
Nicole Laino: So if you want that DM me the words secret podcast on Instagram, I'm icoleno official.
16:20
Nicole Laino: We'll send you all the information there or go to nicolelaino.com secretpodcast and you can sign up right there on the website.
16:28
Nicole Laino: All of it's in the show notes for you.
16:30
Nicole Laino: So thank you so much for being here.
16:32
Nicole Laino: I appreciate you.
16:33
Nicole Laino: And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakable human.
16:38
Nicole Laino: So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design, everyone.
16:41
Nicole Laino: We'll see you next time.
16:43
Nicole Laino: If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show us the love on itunes, Spotify or wherever you're listening to the show and leave us a review.
16:49
Nicole Laino: And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for entrepreneurs.
16:57
Nicole Laino: Go to NicoleLaino Me PodcastLinks to join the group.
17:01
Nicole Laino: Book a human design reading with me or access our free human design resources.
17:06
Nicole Laino: We'll see you there.