Latest / The World of Phil Hendrie / Episode #3942 The New Phil Hendrie Show
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: All right. Without further ado, so let's get Don. The
- 0:03Speaker 1: first thing we're going to do is get Don Berman
- 0:05Speaker 1: up here, right, bud? Yeah, we got Don Berman on
- 0:07Speaker 1: line one. We have Chris Morton. His name's Norton. Don't
- 0:10Speaker 1: call him Morton. All right, well, my understanding was Morton.
- 0:14Speaker 1: You can't be that stupid, bud. What are you talking about?
- 0:16Speaker 1: Wasn't his name Morton? No, his name was never Chris Morton.
- 0:19Speaker 1: It was Norton, okay? Chris, are you there?
- 0:21Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, this is one of the things. We
- 0:24Speaker 2: work really hard.
- 0:26Speaker 1: I didn't know if your name's Morton, you know.
- 0:28Speaker 2: It's not Morton. My name's Chris Norton, okay? Oh, my God.
- 0:33Speaker 2: So I come out in a scene, and I just
- 0:36Speaker 2: did a movie called Suction Cup, okay? Are you with me? Yeah.
- 0:40Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 0:40Speaker 2: Okay. And it says, now starring Chris Norton. And I
- 0:44Speaker 2: come out from behind, you know, a fan and go, hi. Well,
- 0:48Speaker 2: now people go, well, that's not who I came to see.
- 0:50Speaker 2: I came to see Chris Norton.
- 0:53Speaker 1: Out from behind a fan.
- 1:04Speaker 3: And welcome, everyone, to the world-famous Phil Henry Show from
- 1:07Speaker 3: Ted Bell Canyon, high above.
- 1:08Speaker 1: The great city of Los Angeles.
- 1:10Speaker 3: Tonight will be Phil, along with Chris Norton, Don Berman,
- 1:14Speaker 3: General Galen Shaw, and Bud Dickman, and myself, Margaret Gray,
- 1:18Speaker 3: as well as me, Margaret Gray.
- 1:20Speaker 1: Now, here's Phil Henry. I know it. Why'd you do that, Margaret? It's,
- 1:24Speaker 1: I was gagging. It was just... You were gagging? I
- 1:27Speaker 1: was making a joke. You just said you were gagging.
- 1:31Speaker 1: You want to gag on something? Oh, my God. Hold on,
- 1:34Speaker 1: hold on. What happened, Margaret? I made a joke. I
- 1:37Speaker 1: referred to myself twice. Remember we were talking about that
- 1:39Speaker 1: last week? Oh, yeah, you were saying you circled back
- 1:41Speaker 1: to yourself so you got a second mention. Yes, and
- 1:43Speaker 1: I made it very obvious. So I mistook or I misplaced.
- 1:48Speaker 1: I misspoke. Where are you going? Bounty towels?
- 1:54Speaker 2: Yes, ma'am.
- 1:54Speaker 1: Where are you going, Margaret? If I ask, are there
- 1:57Speaker 1: bounty towels in the bathroom, what do you think I'm
- 1:58Speaker 1: going to do? You're going to take it down. I'll
- 2:01Speaker 1: say it, not you. Margaret, so what happened there? I
- 2:06Speaker 1: don't know. We're not supposed to ask her when she changes.
- 2:09Speaker 1: You guys started it with the gag up thing. I
- 2:11Speaker 1: didn't like it. Margaret, I'm sorry, and that was Bud. Oh,
- 2:15Speaker 1: my God. I can't even take a mention of that? Hey, Bud,
- 2:18Speaker 1: would you clear your throat or something?
- 2:19Speaker 2: Sorry.
- 2:20Speaker 1: Can't even make a mention of that? Every day, man,
- 2:23Speaker 1: we start this show, something weird happens. Okay, we have
- 2:25Speaker 1: on the line, do we have Don? We got Don
- 2:27Speaker 1: Berman hanging on, but we also are waiting... for Chris
- 2:30Speaker 1: Morton and, what did you call him? Chris Morton? Chris Norton.
- 2:34Speaker 1: His name's Chris Norton. Well, who wrote down Chris Morton?
- 2:39Speaker 1: You did. You don't know who this is. Yeah, I
- 2:43Speaker 1: know Chris. But tell me you're not that dumb that
- 2:47Speaker 1: you don't know that Chris Norton's name is Chris Norton. Yes,
- 2:51Speaker 1: it is. But it was written down as Chris Morton. And,
- 2:54Speaker 1: you know, either I go according to script around here
- 2:56Speaker 1: or people start to have a baby. What do you
- 2:59Speaker 1: mean they have a baby? That's right. Everybody has a
- 3:01Speaker 1: cow baby if I mess up. The guy's name is
- 3:03Speaker 1: Chris Norton. If you saw it written down as Chris Norton,
- 3:05Speaker 1: why didn't you change it? Because I thought maybe that
- 3:07Speaker 1: was the way it's supposed to be. You just said
- 3:10Speaker 1: the F word. That's right.
- 3:12Speaker 2: Want to hear it again?
- 3:15Speaker 1: Okay, bud, take it easy. Hang on, me. All right,
- 3:19Speaker 1: I'm back. Yeah, you have a good dump? Who do
- 3:23Speaker 1: you think you're talking to?
- 3:24Speaker 2: You?
- 3:24Speaker 1: I'm talking to you, okay? Do you have a good
- 3:26Speaker 1: dump or not? Hold on, Margaret. Yes, it's fine, bud.
- 3:29Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 3:31Speaker 1: All right, bud, look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, too, bud.
- 3:33Speaker 1: I didn't mean to... Well, what happened? He called Chris
- 3:35Speaker 1: Norton Chris Morton because it was written down on one
- 3:37Speaker 1: of the scripts, and he decided he would use that. Yeah,
- 3:39Speaker 1: because it's written down, because it's part of the script
- 3:41Speaker 1: of the show, because it was part of the written
- 3:43Speaker 1: record of the show, so I used Chris Morton because
- 3:46Speaker 1: some jackass changed it to Chris Norton! That might have
- 3:49Speaker 1: been my mistake. Why did you do that? I didn't
- 3:52Speaker 1: proofread what I.
- 3:54Speaker 1: So what you did is you went into the bathroom,
- 3:56Speaker 1: took a healthy dump, and left me to sit in
- 3:59Speaker 1: the puddle of urine. That's Chris Borton. Clear your throat
- 4:02Speaker 1: before I throw somebody through a window around here.
- 4:04Speaker 2: Yes, sir.
- 4:06Speaker 1: God damn, Phil.
- 4:06Speaker 2: You're in a bad mood, huh?
- 4:08Speaker 1: I was in a great mood. We have on the
- 4:10Speaker 1: line here Don Berman from Channel 18 News. Okay, Don,
- 4:14Speaker 1: lay it on me.
- 4:15Speaker 2: Well, there's nothing to lay on you, as you say.
- 4:17Speaker 2: I mean, what we're talking about here, Phil, is simply
- 4:20Speaker 2: the fact that I was on your program last night,
- 4:23Speaker 2: and I interviewed... Brad Leprechaun. And I'm here to tell you,
- 4:28Speaker 2: to elucidate further, as soon as Chris gets back, on
- 4:32Speaker 2: who Brad Leprechaun is.
- 4:34Speaker 1: So I'll have you and Chris here. Where is Chris?
- 4:37Speaker 1: Chris Norton. Chris Norton coming up here on line four.
- 4:42Speaker 1: So you two guys requested this airtime. And what are
- 4:47Speaker 1: you doing?
- 4:47Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sorry, Phil, but it feels good. All right,
- 4:53Speaker 2: and I know that you don't want me to do that,
- 4:55Speaker 2: but that's just how it's got to be. I don't know.
- 4:58Speaker 1: Okay, Chris Norton? Yeah, Phil.
- 5:01Speaker 2: What is that?
- 5:02Speaker 1: That's the Chris Norton theme. He has music that... You're
- 5:05Speaker 1: in the bathtub, so... I'm in the bathtub, yeah.
- 5:07Speaker 2: I don't have some kind of music that sounds like
- 5:09Speaker 2: I'm walking through a crowd of women wearing a Speedo
- 5:12Speaker 2: with one ball hanging out. Hey, Mr. Berman, the day
- 5:15Speaker 2: that you're able to... got walked through a crowd of
- 5:18Speaker 2: females with a bald head and had the women go, yeah,
- 5:22Speaker 2: you let me know all about it, okay? Let me
- 5:24Speaker 2: show you something, Chris. I helped you out of this
- 5:26Speaker 2: thing yesterday.
- 5:27Speaker 1: All right, hold on for a minute, both of you guys. Now,
- 5:30Speaker 1: what happened? Who's going to tell the story here?
- 5:33Speaker 2: I'll tell the story, and I don't know why it's
- 5:34Speaker 2: such a big secret. Chris came on last night as
- 5:37Speaker 2: Brad Leprechaun and himself.
- 5:40Speaker 1: I told you I knew it was Chris Norton.
- 5:42Speaker 2: Well, but we talked you into believing that it was
- 5:44Speaker 2: two different guys. Mr. Henry, I went along. I have
- 5:47Speaker 2: to confess that I went along with it because Mr.
- 5:52Speaker 2: Berman promised to interview me about a new production we're
- 5:55Speaker 2: doing of Sex and Space. I promised to interview him
- 6:00Speaker 2: for Blast Off for Sex, Sex and Space. This is
- 6:03Speaker 2: the volume two. We're reshooting it.
- 6:06Speaker 1: So, in other words, to get publicity for that, you
- 6:09Speaker 1: pulled this gag?
- 6:10Speaker 2: Well, also, he gave us a hand. I mean, I
- 6:13Speaker 2: went to him. You know, he did interviews for, what
- 6:17Speaker 2: was the guy?
- 6:18Speaker 1: Your first movie.
- 6:19Speaker 3: Was it the animated one?
- 6:20Speaker 1: It was the animated one.
- 6:21Speaker 2: Yeah, Dappy Dick. Dappy's Dick and Pound. And I interviewed
- 6:25Speaker 2: him for Dappy Dick, which we didn't use, as you know. Well,
- 6:28Speaker 2: that was a thing. I mean, I had all my
- 6:30Speaker 2: friends gather around the TV. We were waiting to watch it.
- 6:33Speaker 2: And I'm going, wow, she's going to be Daffy Dick.
- 6:36Speaker 2: And there was no Daffy Dick. Well, I was told
- 6:38Speaker 2: by L. Ron Martin that they couldn't air it. It
- 6:40Speaker 2: was just too adult. But what I'm thinking we're going
- 6:43Speaker 2: to do, as payback to you, Chris, for playing the
- 6:46Speaker 2: part of Brad Leprechaun last night, we're going to air
- 6:48Speaker 2: both the interview about Daffy Dick and the interview about
- 6:52Speaker 2: Sex in Space, Blast Off for Sex. Okay, I mean,
- 6:55Speaker 2: and I appreciate that. That's why I agreed to do
- 6:57Speaker 2: the thing.
- 6:57Speaker 1: Okay, now let me ask you a question here, if
- 6:59Speaker 1: you don't mind.
- 7:00Speaker 2: Yeah, I do mind, Phil, because I know every question
- 7:01Speaker 2: you ask throws a big monkey wrench into anything that
- 7:04Speaker 2: I'm trying to do.
- 7:05Speaker 1: Okay, just so you know. Well, I'm sorry, Don.
- 7:08Speaker 2: Well, you know something, Phil.
- 7:10Speaker 1: You know, all you men getting emotional at one time
- 7:12Speaker 1: really bothers me. We got Bud, and now we got you, Don.
- 7:15Speaker 2: I'm simply saying, Ms. Gray, that I've got dreams, too.
- 7:19Speaker 2: And when Phil Henry comes along... and squats over them,
- 7:23Speaker 2: takes a look down to make sure they're in range,
- 7:26Speaker 2: to make sure that they're in the bomb site, and
- 7:28Speaker 2: goes ahead and goes, yeah, all over my dreams, it's
- 7:33Speaker 2: time to say something.
- 7:34Speaker 1: Oh, grow the hell up. What am I doing all
- 7:36Speaker 1: over your dreams?
- 7:38Speaker 2: Look at Phil, you know, Channel 19 News and Don
- 7:42Speaker 2: and L. Ron Martin, they're bringing in this Brad Leprechaun,
- 7:44Speaker 2: and you haven't even asked me about it.
- 7:45Speaker 1: I did a whole interview with you last night thinking
- 7:47Speaker 1: I was talking to Brad Leprechaun.
- 7:50Speaker 2: All right, okay, sorry. But this Brad Leprechaun is coming.
- 7:53Speaker 2: He's going to be squeezing my time, okay? The four
- 7:55Speaker 2: and the five.
- 7:56Speaker 1: I know, but you're still the main anchor. And you
- 7:58Speaker 1: could have had this Brad Leprechaun on, couldn't you?
- 8:01Speaker 2: I've never even met the asshole. Are you kidding me?
- 8:04Speaker 2: I wouldn't know Brad Leprechaun from an actual leprechaun. Hello?
- 8:09Speaker 1: Yes, right here, Margaret.
- 8:11Speaker 3: Well, let me say this.
- 8:12Speaker 1: Chris, are you there?
- 8:13Speaker 2: Yes, I'm right here.
- 8:15Speaker 3: All right, you guys pulled a joke on us last night.
- 8:18Speaker 3: We thought you were Brad Leprechaun and Chris Norton.
- 8:20Speaker 1: Good job, Chris.
- 8:22Speaker 3: But it doesn't get anybody further down the road to
- 8:25Speaker 3: understanding Don's predicament, nor yours, Chris. We only know that
- 8:30Speaker 3: you guys did this as payback for some interviews.
- 8:36Speaker 1: You did it as payback for being interviewed by Don.
- 8:40Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, he said he interviewed me for Daffy Dick,
- 8:42Speaker 2: and I owed him one. And then he said, you know, Chris,
- 8:45Speaker 2: if you do this, I'll interview, you know, I'll do
- 8:48Speaker 2: a special interview for Sex and Space.
- 8:50Speaker 1: Do you mind saying that again? It's Blast Off.
- 8:53Speaker 2: Blast Off for Sex and Space.
- 8:55Speaker 1: Blast Off for Sex, Sex and Space.
- 8:57Speaker 2: Yes. God. So anyway, yes. And I said, all right,
- 9:02Speaker 2: if you want me to do Blast Off for Sex,
- 9:04Speaker 2: Sex and Space and a further payback for Daffy Dick,
- 9:08Speaker 2: then would you come on the air tomorrow night? Because
- 9:10Speaker 2: we only formulated this the night before last.
- 9:13Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounded about as rushed, too.
- 9:15Speaker 2: Oh, what a dickhead. Mr. Henry, you know, we did
- 9:19Speaker 2: everything that we could in the time that was allotted.
- 9:20Speaker 2: We did the best job we could, Mr. Henry. And
- 9:23Speaker 2: I asked Chris to come on. I said, would you
- 9:24Speaker 2: play the part of Brad Leprechaun? Then we heard that
- 9:27Speaker 2: you were going to call him. So I immediately sent
- 9:29Speaker 2: him an emergency text message saying, be by your phone.
- 9:31Speaker 2: They're about to call you to find out if you're
- 9:34Speaker 2: Brad Leprechaun.
- 9:36Speaker 1: So, Chris, you did this knowing, okay.
- 9:39Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a big deal, Mr. Renner. You're pulling jokes
- 9:40Speaker 2: on people all the time. So I come on, I
- 9:42Speaker 2: pull a joke, and I did it for Don Berman
- 9:44Speaker 2: on account of he interviewed me for Tappy Dick.
- 9:47Speaker 3: And also Sex and Space Blast After Sex.
- 9:49Speaker 2: Yeah, because we're going to be redoing it.
- 9:50Speaker 1: You're redoing the whole movie.
- 9:52Speaker 2: Yes, we are.
- 9:53Speaker 1: That's interesting. So who's going to be in it?
- 9:55Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, sunshine. I'm the guy that gets
- 9:58Speaker 2: to do that interview, Mr. Renner. I've got to hold
- 10:01Speaker 2: out for Don Berman. Oh, unfortunately. Is that it?
- 10:04Speaker 1: Well, I mean, you got me on the air playing
- 10:06Speaker 1: Brad Leprechaun. Does anybody even know what this guy sounds like?
- 10:09Speaker 1: I don't know what he sounds like. I haven't even
- 10:11Speaker 1: met him. Brad Leprechaun is the name of the new
- 10:13Speaker 1: junior anchor who's going to be doing the four and
- 10:15Speaker 1: the five?
- 10:16Speaker 3: Yes.
- 10:16Speaker 1: And they're not firing anybody?
- 10:18Speaker 2: No, they're not firing. They're moving Goldie Showers out of there.
- 10:21Speaker 2: They're moving Donna Del Deco. She's doing the Up With
- 10:25Speaker 2: People segments. And they're going to put in this Brad
- 10:27Speaker 2: Leprechaun to do the early four and five.
- 10:29Speaker 1: And you've never met him?
- 10:30Speaker 2: I wouldn't know the guy if I ran him over
- 10:32Speaker 2: with a car. I got out of the car, I
- 10:34Speaker 2: took a look at him, pulled his wallet out. What
- 10:39Speaker 2: are you laughing at?
- 10:40Speaker 1: What are you laughing at is a better question, Don.
- 10:42Speaker 2: I'm not laughing at anything.
- 10:44Speaker 1: If you ran the guy over, got out, pulled out
- 10:46Speaker 1: his wallet, and then you go.
- 10:49Speaker 2: That was Mr. Henry. Let the record show.
- 10:51Speaker 1: All right, okay, yes, I was laughing. All right, okay,
- 10:55Speaker 1: so just so I'm not going nuts.
- 10:58Speaker 1: Chris, you were doing both voices last night.
- 11:01Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just doing my own voice, and I
- 11:03Speaker 2: interviewed myself. Yeah, I just said, you know, ask Brad
- 11:07Speaker 2: Leprechaun questions. And I told him that Brad Leprechaun was
- 11:09Speaker 2: coming in from Corpus Christi, and that he had been
- 11:12Speaker 2: a KOCOK in Corpus Christi.
- 11:14Speaker 1: The first television station with five call letters.
- 11:18Speaker 2: Yeah, Phil, don't blame me. Talk to the FCC about that.
- 11:21Speaker 1: I never heard of five call letters for a TV
- 11:23Speaker 1: or radio station. When did this start?
- 11:24Speaker 2: I don't know, sometime last month.
- 11:27Speaker 1: So we're going to be seeing TV stations now with
- 11:29Speaker 1: five call letters.
- 11:30Speaker 2: I guess. I don't know. But this guy Leprechaun apparently
- 11:33Speaker 2: worked over there. He was the main anchor at KOCOK.
- 11:36Speaker 2: Now he's coming here to Channel 19 News.
- 11:39Speaker 1: We've never really asked what the call letters of Channel
- 11:42Speaker 1: 19 are.
- 11:43Speaker 2: The call letters of my station?
- 11:44Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 11:45Speaker 2: Oh, it's K-O-C-K. That's why we don't use them, because
- 11:48Speaker 2: it's obviously....
- 11:53Speaker 1: All right, so you guys are K-O-C-K, Channel 19, Los Angeles.
- 11:58Speaker 2: That's right.
- 11:59Speaker 1: And this is a guy coming in from Corpus Christi, K-O-C-O-K.
- 12:02Speaker 1: How do we know you guys aren't still messing with us?
- 12:05Speaker 2: Hey, look, Mr. Henry, I told you the true story, okay?
- 12:10Speaker 2: I'm not trying to mess— I don't know anything about K-O-C-O-K.
- 12:13Speaker 2: I didn't even know that Channel 19's call letters were K-O-C-K.
- 12:16Speaker 2: But now, you know, I guess I do.
- 12:18Speaker 1: How do you guys get a— I don't believe that for
- 12:20Speaker 1: a minute.
- 12:21Speaker 2: Well, I don't care what you believe. That's a fact.
- 12:23Speaker 2: Channel 19 News, K-O-C-K.
- 12:25Speaker 1: Well, I'm looking at the.
- 12:27Speaker 2: Here's the L.A.
- 12:28Speaker 1: Times TV page, and it says, Brad Leprechaun, Morning Report,
- 12:32Speaker 1: and here Don Berman doing the afternoon news on Channel 19,
- 12:35Speaker 1: Channel 19 News. No call letters.
- 12:37Speaker 2: No call letters? Why do you think that is? Three guesses.
- 12:41Speaker 1: Well, how could a TV or a radio station be
- 12:43Speaker 1: saddled with call letters like that?
- 12:45Speaker 2: That's just the way it went. I don't know. I
- 12:47Speaker 2: talked to L. Ron Martin about it. He said, apparently...
- 12:50Speaker 2: The original owners of Channel 19 were the Burton brothers,
- 12:55Speaker 2: and these guys, there was a lot of bad blood
- 12:58Speaker 2: between the Burtons and certain members of the FCC. It
- 13:01Speaker 2: had to do with... I don't even know if I'm
- 13:05Speaker 2: talking out of school.
- 13:05Speaker 1: You gotta say it now, man. You're letting the kid
- 13:07Speaker 1: out of the bag. Well, what is it?
- 13:12Speaker 2: They caught one of the Burton brothers corkscrewing one of
- 13:16Speaker 2: the wives of the FCC commissioner.
- 13:19Speaker 1: So they saddled them with, they call that as a K-O-C-K.
- 13:22Speaker 2: That's right.
- 13:23Speaker 1: They caught one of the Burton brothers corkscrewing a wife
- 13:26Speaker 1: of a.
- 13:27Speaker 2: I can say it again if you want to, because
- 13:28Speaker 2: it doesn't sound like you got it. They caught one
- 13:30Speaker 2: of the Burton brothers corkscrewing.
- 13:32Speaker 1: Thank you. If I got to hear that Chris Norton
- 13:35Speaker 1: music again, I'm going to flip my lid. Well, there
- 13:37Speaker 1: it is, ladies and gentlemen. Chris Norton played both parts
- 13:41Speaker 1: as a way of paying back Don Berman for interviewing him...
- 13:44Speaker 1: on Channel 19, which we never did see because L.
- 13:46Speaker 1: Ron Martin wouldn't let it air, about Daffy Dick. Now
- 13:49Speaker 1: he's going to do an interview with him because Chris
- 13:51Speaker 1: is remaking Blast Off for Sex, Sex in Space. God damn. Okay,
- 13:57Speaker 1: I'm just going to say this, bud. Next time we're
- 14:00Speaker 1: going to do multiple interviews.
- 14:02Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 14:02Speaker 1: Make sure it's two different people. Well, I'm supposed to
- 14:04Speaker 1: do that, I'm sure. Whoever told a guy that produces
- 14:08Speaker 1: any kind of a show, hey, make sure when you're
- 14:10Speaker 1: doing interviews with people, make sure it's two different guys.
- 14:13Speaker 1: Say that again. But whoever told the guy that's producing
- 14:16Speaker 1: the show that when you interview two people, make sure
- 14:19Speaker 1: the two people you interview are two separate guys. Yeah,
- 14:25Speaker 1: maybe they never had. I don't know. I don't know,
- 14:27Speaker 1: and I don't care. World famous Phil Henry show is
- 14:30Speaker 1: executive produced by me, Phil Henry, for Siempre Incorporated, all
- 14:33Speaker 1: rights reserved, on iHeart Podcast. I don't want to hear
- 14:37Speaker 1: those guys on the air tomorrow, okay?
- 14:39Speaker 2: Fine.
- 14:40Speaker 1: I have to. God damn, man. Not Chris Norton or
- 14:45Speaker 1: Chris Morton. Oh, my God, man. I mean, what a mistake.