Latest / MyMaine Birth / 113. MyMaine Birth: Courtney Shares Her Two Home Birth Stories, Including How She Caught Her Breech Baby - Unassisted

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113. MyMaine Birth: Courtney Shares Her Two Home Birth Stories, Including How She Caught Her Breech Baby - Unassisted · MyMaine Birth

• 0:00
  Courtney: I felt really calm.
• 0:02
  Courtney: I had loved my first birth, but I wanted to feel less afraid, and so all of the meditation that I did in preparation for this birth was kind of focused on that, on accepting and not feeling afraid, surrender, just letting everything happen.
• 0:21
  Courtney: Just letting everything happen, and I, I, and it just worked.
• 0:24
  Courtney: It just worked.
• 0:25
  Courtney: I felt comforted, I felt calm.
• 0:34
  Courtney: Charlie tells the story in a funnier way.
• 0:35
  Courtney: He's like I had one pant leg on.
• 0:36
  Courtney: You know, I'm like running into the bathroom Right, I come across the corner and it's covered in blood.
• 0:39
  Courtney: You know, um, there was meconium.
• 0:43
  Courtney: My water broke.
• 0:44
  Courtney: There's meconium everywhere, which charlie was not prepared for.
• 0:47
  Courtney: I don't know if he knew what it was, but he was just like okay, something is happening.
• 0:50
  Courtney: He's on the phone with the midwife.
• 0:52
  Courtney: I, um, had the thought came to me my body is opening.
• 0:58
  Courtney: That's what it felt like.
• 0:59
  Courtney: I felt like my body's opening to let my baby out.
• 1:02
  Courtney: My body is opening, she's talking right now.
• 1:06
  Courtney: I remembered Ina May and I reached down to feel her head and I feel feet, and at first I thought it was like her hand, like maybe her hand was up by her head, and then I was like no, it's feet.
• 1:21
  Courtney: And I said out loud it's feet, and my midwife is on speakerphone.
• 1:25
  Courtney: Charlie is standing at the doorway of the bathroom.
• 1:28
  Courtney: I'm in the bathroom by myself, which was perfect.
• 1:34
  Angela: I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator and your host here on the my Main Birth podcast.
• 1:42
  Angela: This is a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births.
• 1:55
  Angela: Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
• 1:59
  Angela: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
• 2:07
  Angela: Welcome back.
• 2:10
  Angela: You're listening to episode 113.
• 2:13
  Angela: Today's birth story guest is Courtney, and she is here to share her two birth stories with us.
• 2:19
  Angela: The first is the home birth story of her daughter, who was born 16 years ago, and her second story is her more recent experience of the birth of her second daughter.
• 2:30
  Angela: Courtney was planning for a home birth again and when her labor started it went very quickly and her baby presented in the breech position.
• 2:39
  Angela: Courtney caught her baby in her bathroom well before her midwife could arrive and in our emails back and forth before we recorded this call, she described it as miraculous.
• 2:51
  Angela: All right, hey, courtney, welcome to my Maine Birth.
• 2:55
  Angela: Good morning.
• 2:56
  Angela: Well, to get started, would you share a little bit about you and your family?
• 3:02
  Courtney: Sure, so I'm Courtney, I live in Midcoast, maine, I'm 41 and got married last year.
• 3:14
  Courtney: My husband is Charlie and we have one baby that we had in November, and then I have a daughter who's just about 16.
• 3:17
  Courtney: So I had her when I was 25.
• 3:19
  Courtney: And then I had this baby at 40.
• 3:22
  Angela: Amazing.
• 3:23
  Angela: Now would you share a little bit about how you found out you were pregnant for the first time and what were your thoughts in choosing your care?
• 3:31
  Courtney: Yeah, that's great, I think I had.
• 3:33
  Courtney: I was.
• 3:34
  Courtney: So I was in my mid to early, early mid twenties and we were trying to have a baby.
• 3:41
  Courtney: I was married at the time this is my ex-husband and I don't know if I had seen the business of being born or somehow read Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth or heard of it, but I just somehow thought that I wanted to have a home birth.
• 3:57
  Courtney: And then, once I got pregnant, I just dove right into that.
• 4:02
  Courtney: So, just only reading positive birth stories at the time you, 16 years ago, you could watch a lot of births videos on YouTube, which are pretty censored now, I think.
• 4:12
  Courtney: But I watched a ton of births natural births and was really, really committed to home birth.
• 4:18
  Courtney: I think right away I think I probably liked that people thought I was crazy and that just kind of pushed me on to be like no, I'm absolutely having a home birth as a rebellious 25 year old.
• 4:31
  Courtney: But yeah, I think I knew right away.
• 4:34
  Courtney: And then I, just like I was all in, I went into prenatal yoga and connected with other moms who were having home births, who were at yoga.
• 4:41
  Angela: That's great.
• 4:42
  Angela: So how was your pregnancy looking?
• 4:44
  Angela: How are you feeling?
• 4:46
  Courtney: My first pregnancy was pretty good.
• 4:48
  Courtney: I had morning sickness and heartburn both pregnancies, but it was pretty good.
• 4:55
  Courtney: I was really young so I remember feeling pretty relaxed about it.
• 4:59
  Courtney: I had amazing prenatal care.
• 5:01
  Courtney: I remember being worried that because insurance wouldn't pay for it, that I would pay for home birth care and then have to transfer and then I would have two bills.
• 5:11
  Courtney: But I remember being midway through my pregnancy and saying like this prenatal care is worth it, like even if I didn't end up giving birth at home, these meetings with these midwives and just the support felt so worth it.
• 5:24
  Angela: So was this also in Maine or was this in a different state?
• 5:27
  Courtney: That was also in Maine.
• 5:28
  Courtney: Yeah, do you care to share who your midwives were?
• 5:30
  Courtney: So my midwives were Robin and Deidre.
• 5:34
  Courtney: I don't think that they.
• 5:35
  Courtney: They don't practice together anymore.
• 5:37
  Courtney: I think Deidre may be a medical doctor, but Robin taught at Birthwise for a while.
• 5:42
  Courtney: I think it was called open circle midwifery, but don't quote me, it might not be real.
• 5:50
  Courtney: So I had a really I had a fast birth with my first baby.
• 5:53
  Courtney: I think it was seven hours at the most from like thinking like oh, I might be in labor to giving birth, but probably like really five hours of being in labor.
• 6:04
  Courtney: And so I didn't call my midwives right away.
• 6:08
  Courtney: I didn't call my husband right away.
• 6:10
  Courtney: He was working nights in a warehouse and I was like what's happening?
• 6:14
  Courtney: I wonder if I'm in labor.
• 6:15
  Courtney: And then, after like two hours of watching Law and Order, I was like I think I'm in labor and I called him and I couldn't reach him because it's in a warehouse and like so I left a message with his boss and left a message on his cell phone and then it was like it took him an hour to get home.
• 6:33
  Courtney: So I just labored alone for the majority of my labor and then my husband got home he called the midwife, he called Deidre and she said, okay, I'm going to go back to bed.
• 6:48
  Courtney: This is like 4am, I'll call you back in an hour.
• 6:52
  Courtney: Call me if anything changes.
• 6:54
  Courtney: And then my water broke like 30 minutes later and I was like she should come now.
• 6:58
  Courtney: But I was so worried I was like, oh, this can't be it.
• 7:02
  Courtney: Like I can't do this for 20 more hours.
• 7:04
  Courtney: This is so intense.
• 7:05
  Courtney: I started bearing down and I remember thinking like I'm glad no one's here to tell me to not bear down, because I'm sure it's too early.
• 7:12
  Courtney: It was not too early.
• 7:14
  Courtney: I gave birth.
• 7:17
  Courtney: I pushed her head out before Deidre got there and then Deidre came running up the stairs, was there to like help me catch her and then like reassure me that everything was fine.
• 7:29
  Courtney: But it was really really fast and really intense and I was really afraid.
• 7:34
  Courtney: But it was awesome.
• 7:35
  Courtney: I felt so empowered, I felt super strong.
• 7:38
  Courtney: It was both.
• 7:40
  Angela: So how did you feel about all of that?
• 7:43
  Courtney: Yeah, I felt really overwhelmed.
• 7:46
  Courtney: I felt I had to, kind of.
• 7:47
  Courtney: I think I've talked to other moms who had fast first labors and they sometimes say the same thing like that.
• 7:55
  Courtney: They felt like they did it wrong or it was like should be more peaceful.
• 8:01
  Courtney: I'm doing kind of air quotes.
• 8:03
  Courtney: You know, I talked to a midwife when I got pregnant the second time and she's like, were you able to get into a birth zone?
• 8:09
  Courtney: And I'm like I don't think so, but I oh, that's my baby.
• 8:16
  Courtney: But I really I really loved that.
• 8:21
  Courtney: I was alone for most of it because I had this incredible confidence in my ability.
• 8:28
  Courtney: It was like it was.
• 8:29
  Courtney: Nobody could tell me that I couldn't do this or I couldn't even, or even.
• 8:34
  Courtney: It made me feel empowered as a mother because I was like I know, when no one's there, my intuition and my instinct and my body knows what to do and I was able to kind of carry that into my parenting.
• 8:45
  Courtney: You know, I know that I know how to take care of this baby.
• 8:47
  Courtney: Something inside me, something from before me, knows how to do this.
• 8:51
  Angela: Yeah, I love that.
• 8:52
  Angela: So how was your postpartum the first time?
• 8:57
  Courtney: My postpartum was um, I think it was pretty good.
• 9:00
  Courtney: It was um.
• 9:02
  Courtney: I was not cautious at all.
• 9:05
  Courtney: I just was like up and like doing things and my midwives were like, don't, like, don't do that, why are you going for a walk?
• 9:12
  Courtney: I remember walking around target.
• 9:14
  Courtney: This is hilarious.
• 9:15
  Courtney: And my I told my husband you have to like go get me a chair, like a folding chair from like the furniture and like walk around with me with this folding chair so I could sit down.
• 9:26
  Courtney: Like every once in a while I was like go home, why didn't I just stay at home?
• 9:30
  Courtney: But I was not willing to stay at home.
• 9:32
  Courtney: I was really restless and um, but it was fine because I was 25.
• 9:37
  Courtney: So my body did, did bounce back, but yeah, it would have.
• 9:40
  Courtney: I could have taken better care of myself.
• 9:43
  Angela: Yeah, it's so hard to just stay in and not really go anywhere.
• 9:46
  Angela: But if you can just rest for those first couple weeks at least a week postpartum you're going to have an easier time getting back into the swing of things when you do go out.
• 9:56
  Courtney: Yes, yeah, this is lesson learned, okay, so now fast forward to your youngest daughter's pregnancy and birth.
• 10:05
  Angela: Would you start by sharing a little bit about how you found out you were pregnant and what your thoughts were in choosing your care?
• 10:12
  Courtney: Yeah, so I was.
• 10:13
  Courtney: I was about to turn 40 and in a committed relationship we weren't married yet but we're committed and thought that I was one and done, did not think I wanted another baby.
• 10:26
  Courtney: And it just kind of came to me that that season of my life was closing and that if I wanted to have another baby I would have to decide that really soon.
• 10:38
  Courtney: And kind of all of a sudden it felt like I think I might want that.
• 10:43
  Courtney: And so I brought that up to my partner and he was speechless, I mean surprised, because I had been so clear.
• 10:51
  Courtney: He doesn't have other children and I just had this one child.
• 10:54
  Courtney: And when we got together we've been together for six years we got together I was like I'm not having more children, you know, I had told him.
• 11:00
  Courtney: So I was like I might want another child, what do you think?
• 11:03
  Courtney: And we both kind of went to our own separate spiritual practice and like prayed and meditated about it and both kind of came back and said like I think it's a yes for me.
• 11:13
  Courtney: I think you know my God is saying yes basically.
• 11:17
  Courtney: And so we kind of, with acceptance that it might not work because we're older, decided to try and we were pregnant in the second month of trying, so it just felt like I have another spiritual friend who's like that was your baby was like whispering in your ear and she's ready to come, she's ready to be here.
• 11:36
  Courtney: So it really kind of felt like the stars aligned and so we were excited.
• 11:43
  Courtney: I will say, both times in my first, both pregnancies, in my first trimester, I had doubts and fears, because the first trimester I feel really nauseous and like not that good.
• 12:00
  Courtney: So both times a part of me was like is this a huge mistake, which is, you know, shameful to say?
• 12:07
  Courtney: But in case other moms are listening, right, that that and that pretty much at my once my second trimester happened, kind of disappeared.
• 12:15
  Courtney: But both times the first trimester was hard.
• 12:17
  Courtney: It was hard emotionally and physically.
• 12:20
  Angela: Yeah, yeah, first trimester can really put a toll on you, and then it's almost like you turn that corner a lot of times, like in the second trimester.
• 12:29
  Angela: And how was that for you?
• 12:31
  Courtney: It was awesome, it was so good.
• 12:33
  Courtney: I also I didn't tell my teenage daughter until the second trimester or just the end of the first trimester.
• 12:38
  Courtney: So I felt like I couldn't totally own what was going on because I didn't want her to feel really sad and disappointed if it didn't work out.
• 12:47
  Courtney: So I had a secret and I hate secrets.
• 12:50
  Courtney: So once I was able to tell her, I was able to tell other people um, I left my job, uh, which was not completely related, but partially related to my pregnancy, and um, yeah, it just felt great.
• 13:06
  Courtney: And then it was summer in Maine and I was so physically active.
• 13:11
  Courtney: It was so a lot of hiking, a lot of tennis, just really, really committed to physical activity as a way of staying well and start, you know, and daily meditation to prepare for birth.
• 13:23
  Courtney: So that's a recipe for feeling pretty good.
• 13:27
  Courtney: If you're exercising every day and meditating every day, it's pretty easy to feel good.
• 13:34
  Courtney: So I felt great.
• 13:35
  Courtney: I love being pregnant, love it, love it, love it.
• 13:38
  Courtney: And I was so grateful to get to do it again.
• 13:40
  Courtney: I was like I can't believe I get to do this again.
• 13:41
  Courtney: I didn't think I wanted another child.
• 13:51
  Angela: And now I get to do this again.
• 13:52
  Angela: I didn't think I wanted another child and now I get to do this super fun thing again.
• 13:54
  Angela: Yeah, it really can be so fun.
• 13:55
  Angela: And then add on top of that the beauty of like mid coast Maine and being outside in the spring and summer.
• 13:58
  Angela: And so who did you choose as your midwife this time around?
• 14:01
  Courtney: I had Rebecca at Mother Seed in Whitefield, yeah.
• 14:06
  Courtney: So I looked on her website and it was like she quoted one of my favorite books.
• 14:10
  Courtney: And then we met with her and she was reading one of my partner's favorite books and I was just like, yeah, and I want I, because I had had this first birth almost by myself.
• 14:26
  Courtney: I just knew I wanted really low intervention pregnancy and birth.
• 14:30
  Courtney: So I don't have ultrasounds, I don't want.
• 14:33
  Courtney: I was like I may not want you there, really, you know, I may want you in the other room, you know, because I thought it would probably be quick.
• 14:41
  Courtney: I said like I'll call, like I'll call you, obviously, but I may not want you, like all up in my space, I definitely don't want checks on my body.
• 14:50
  Courtney: And we met with another midwife who and I said, and I said you know, and I'm 40 years old, you know, um.
• 14:56
  Courtney: And we met with another midwife who said it was no problem that I was 40, but she would feel a lot more comfortable if we had at least one ultrasound.
• 15:02
  Courtney: And she had, she had like a portable ultrasound machine and that just didn't.
• 15:06
  Courtney: That didn't feel right for me.
• 15:07
  Courtney: That felt like, okay, this is more intervention than I want.
• 15:11
  Courtney: And then we met with the midwife that we ended up choosing and she was like well, I catch a lot of babies for the Amish and I'm like that's what I want.
• 15:17
  Courtney: I want that level of intervention like none.
• 15:22
  Courtney: Unless there's a there isn't an emergency actually happening, not an emergency that could happen at some day, but if there's an actual emergency happening.
• 15:32
  Courtney: And she was really comfortable.
• 15:34
  Courtney: I wasn't even the oldest mama who she was catching her baby.
• 15:38
  Courtney: That year she had a 42-year-old and a 44-year-old mom and that made me feel really comfortable.
• 15:43
  Courtney: She's also just extremely confident.
• 15:45
  Courtney: She had a bunch of information that I don't need to know, but I felt like she knew you know, yeah.
• 15:51
  Courtney: So she was just totally lovely and wonderful.
• 15:56
  Angela: Amazing.
• 15:57
  Angela: So how were your appointments looking Like?
• 16:00
  Angela: They're just really supportive connection appointments.
• 16:02
  Courtney: At that point then, right supportive connection appointments at that point then right, exactly, yeah, so without a lot of testing.
• 16:09
  Courtney: Mostly she would ask questions about my symptoms or my body.
• 16:12
  Courtney: How am I feeling?
• 16:13
  Courtney: Any questions I had.
• 16:15
  Courtney: So I had some questions about my activity and my physical yoga.
• 16:21
  Courtney: You know at what point would you stop doing this or that?
• 16:24
  Courtney: Her answers are primarily listen to your body.
• 16:27
  Courtney: You know.
• 16:29
  Courtney: But she also shared.
• 16:30
  Courtney: You know I have I have moms who do this or that.
• 16:34
  Courtney: Or when I was pregnant I didn't feel comfortable doing plow pose anymore, you know, and then we and we did.
• 16:40
  Courtney: I do use the Doppler to hear her heartbeat, so that was nice.
• 16:49
  Courtney: A Doppler to hear her heartbeat, so that was nice the first few times she measured fundal height, so that's, you know, just a measuring tape right To estimate and to track to make sure that it's good that it's increasing over time and my blood pressure.
• 17:00
  Courtney: So those are the, those are the tests, the kind of intervention tests that we had, but mostly it was just talking about how I'm doing and any advice that she had for me.
• 17:11
  Courtney: So, like, at some point I started to feel kind of achy in my body.
• 17:14
  Courtney: She encouraged obviously more water and electrolytes and magnesium.
• 17:20
  Courtney: So those are those kind of things I took as I was still being really really active towards the end of my pregnancy.
• 17:27
  Angela: Oh, that's so important Just taking good care of yourself and just living your life and not really being stressed, right.
• 17:34
  Courtney: Yeah, it was awesome.
• 17:35
  Courtney: I felt so.
• 17:37
  Courtney: I was so I'm so much healthier and so much more active and it was great.
• 17:43
  Courtney: I love to play tennis and we were playing tennis three times a week and I was like at some point I might have to stop playing tennis.
• 17:49
  Courtney: And I slowed down, like I'm not running, I'm not racing for the ball.
• 17:53
  Courtney: We don't play competitively.
• 17:54
  Courtney: But I played on Friday and gave birth on Tuesday.
• 17:57
  Courtney: I played the whole way I'm like nine months pregnant on, like out on the tennis court, but it felt awesome.
• 18:06
  Courtney: It felt awesome.
• 18:07
  Courtney: The hardest thing about that was that I had to pee like every 30 minutes, so I couldn't play for very long before waddling over to the port-a-potty.
• 18:14
  Angela: Yeah, oh my gosh.
• 18:17
  Angela: Well I feel.
• 18:18
  Angela: I really feel like all of that exercise and just being so active throughout your whole pregnancy, if you're able to, can just make, just help your body prepare for birth and have things go so much more smoothly.
• 18:29
  Courtney: That was my thought too.
• 18:30
  Courtney: It also made me feel like emotionally more competent in my body, which helps in birth.
• 18:39
  Courtney: Right, I think birth is mental and physical, but so much of it is mental.
• 18:44
  Courtney: So I just felt still competent, like I'm fully in embodied.
• 18:49
  Courtney: I'm fully in my body.
• 18:50
  Courtney: My body is strong, my body can do things, and that mindset carries into birth.
• 18:56
  Angela: Absolutely, that's amazing, so yeah.
• 18:59
  Angela: So how were things looking like those last final weeks leading up to when your labor started?
• 19:04
  Angela: Just overall, how was your positioning looking?
• 19:08
  Courtney: Yeah, so we had been like so, without ultrasound and just with.
• 19:15
  Courtney: Oh gosh, maybe you know what it's called.
• 19:17
  Courtney: Do you know what they use to listen to the baby?
• 19:19
  Courtney: That's not a stethoscope, but it's not a Doppler.
• 19:22
  Angela: The fetus scope.
• 19:23
  Courtney: Thank you.
• 19:24
  Courtney: Fetus scope Okay, so just using the fetus scope to try to hear where the baby's heartbeat is, and then my midwife would push on my belly to try to feel like, okay, is this a head, is this a bum, is this her back?
• 19:39
  Courtney: That kind of thing.
• 19:40
  Courtney: So she's feeling for her position but we're not really worried.
• 19:44
  Courtney: I had an extremely active baby All that tennis is what we say.
• 19:48
  Courtney: So she was moving around a lot and lots of appointments.
• 19:52
  Courtney: She was head down, she was kind of side to side.
• 19:55
  Courtney: She was head up no problem, because it's still in 30 weeks, 32 weeks, 33 or 35 weeks.
• 20:03
  Courtney: And then we had a little bit of like, so I wasn't worried about it.
• 20:07
  Courtney: I was doing inversions where I kind of prop myself up on the side of the couch and hang upside down, and a lot of down dog, but I wasn't worried about her position.
• 20:17
  Courtney: Basically, we had some like hiccup with, like, the appointments.
• 20:22
  Courtney: It was something like 35 weeks.
• 20:24
  Courtney: We were supposed to switch from every other week to seeing each other every week.
• 20:28
  Courtney: But I had some.
• 20:29
  Courtney: I had something going on on the week like 36 weeks, and I was like I'm just too busy, can we, can we skip one and then we'll go to every week.
• 20:38
  Courtney: Once I get to 37 weeks I thought there's just no way this baby is coming before December.
• 20:43
  Courtney: She's 40 weeks would have been right around the 1st of December.
• 20:49
  Courtney: I'm like we're going 40, we're going 41.
• 20:51
  Courtney: I'm so healthy.
• 20:53
  Courtney: Healthy mamas cook babies longer.
• 20:55
  Courtney: The baby wants to stay in there.
• 20:57
  Courtney: You know, you know, when I was pregnant, when I was 25, I like had quit smoking right when I got pregnant, like I was not um, which is great, but I wasn't like chemical free or you know, or anything like that um, for very long.
• 21:14
  Courtney: And and my daughter was born at, my first child was born at 39 weeks.
• 21:18
  Courtney: So I just, I just wasn't worried about it, I just didn't think that she was coming until December.
• 21:24
  Courtney: So we met at like 35 weeks, feels good, position is unsure, but that's no problem, because we're a month away from giving birth and I still felt great and I was still playing tennis and I was like, thanks so much, I'll see you in two weeks.
• 21:38
  Courtney: We hadn't even met the kind of backup midwife.
• 21:41
  Courtney: So what Rebecca does is she kind of like contracts with another midwife to come to the birth, just so that there are two midwives there and we were going to meet her at like the 37 week appointment or 37 and a half week appointment, but we hadn't met her yet.
• 21:59
  Courtney: We're like, okay, great, you guys will come over to the house, that'll be fine.
• 22:03
  Courtney: But that did not happen.
• 22:04
  Angela: You guys will come over to the house.
• 22:07
  Angela: That'll be fine, but that did not happen.
• 22:09
  Angela: Okay, so you're busy during your whole 36th week of pregnancy.
• 22:14
  Angela: You're planning for your 37 and a half week appointment with your midwives.
• 22:15
  Angela: Somewhere in between there is the Friday where you went to play tennis.
• 22:18
  Angela: How did that all unfold?
• 22:20
  Courtney: I go play tennis on Friday.
• 22:22
  Courtney: Sunday, I had this beautiful mother blessing with five of my female friends.
• 22:29
  Courtney: Yeah, it was gorgeous.
• 22:32
  Courtney: They all prayed, they shared their birth stories or birth stories in their family and it was so special and I had asked them because I remember that I couldn't.
• 22:42
  Courtney: I was meditating a lot and practicing a lot of affirmations Like my body is opening to let my baby out, I'm co-creating life with the goddess herself, I'm, you know, I'm fully present and my higher power is helping me give birth All of these kinds of affirmations and prayers and meditations.
• 23:02
  Courtney: But I remembered from my first birth that I lose the ability to read when I'm in labor and tell time.
• 23:10
  Courtney: I don't know.
• 23:10
  Courtney: Does it, does it relate?
• 23:11
  Angela: to that.
• 23:12
  Angela: No, that's two things are totally like you're not reading or telling time really, while you're like in it and anyone I don't think yeah, so I knew that was true.
• 23:20
  Courtney: So I I didn't want to write out affirmations although I think the process of writing them can help a lot of people but I wanted to have like a collage of pictures of my higher power.
• 23:30
  Courtney: So I asked all these women who were doing this this well birth blessing for me to bring pictures of their higher power to our gathering, and then I was going to make a collage with it, and I did.
• 23:43
  Angela: So I had this beautiful ceremony.
• 23:45
  Courtney: They all made me cry.
• 23:45
  Courtney: It was wonderful.
• 23:46
  Courtney: I came home with all these flowers.
• 23:49
  Courtney: They all brought me flowers, so they're just flowers all over my house.
• 23:55
  Courtney: And then Sunday night I sit down and I make this collage of all these pictures that represent higher power for people.
• 24:02
  Courtney: Lots of goddessy pictures, lots of mothers, but also, you know, the Lord and flowers and other things like that birds.
• 24:09
  Courtney: So I made this beautiful collage.
• 24:12
  Courtney: I think that was Sunday night that I made it.
• 24:14
  Courtney: I have no idea what I did on Monday.
• 24:15
  Courtney: And then Tuesday was going.
• 24:17
  Courtney: Tuesday, I had just this whole day planned.
• 24:20
  Courtney: I went and met my mom in Auburn.
• 24:23
  Courtney: We had lunch.
• 24:24
  Courtney: I walked around the Auburn mall for like two hours.
• 24:28
  Courtney: Looking back, I'm like I could have had my baby in the Auburn mall.
• 24:31
  Courtney: That would have been hysterical.
• 24:36
  Courtney: My older child was in a play so and it was hell week, which is the week before I guess they call it tech week now they don't call it hell week anymore.
• 24:45
  Courtney: The week before I guess they call it tech week now they don't call it hell week anymore.
• 24:47
  Courtney: But the week before the play they have rehearsal every night until 8.30 PM.
• 24:53
  Courtney: So I drove to pick her up at rehearsal and I got home.
• 24:55
  Courtney: We got home at 9 PM, so we got home at 9.
• 24:58
  Courtney: PM.
• 24:58
  Courtney: I'm talking to my daughter.
• 25:01
  Courtney: We were laughing.
• 25:03
  Courtney: I remember we had a great evening and I'm like I have to go to bed.
• 25:06
  Courtney: It's 9.30.
• 25:07
  Courtney: I'm nine months pregnant.
• 25:09
  Courtney: I have to go to bed.
• 25:10
  Courtney: I was 37 weeks and three days and someone had asked at my birth blessing, when is your baby coming?
• 25:17
  Courtney: And I'm like, well, I'm technically 37 weeks now, so any day, but probably not for three or four more weeks.
• 25:23
  Courtney: And she's like let's get this party started, have the baby come now?
• 25:27
  Courtney: And I was like no, no, she's not coming but Tuesday.
• 25:31
  Courtney: So nine, nine, 30, I came upstairs, I took a bath and then I came and laid down or I came down to.
• 25:40
  Courtney: I came and sat down to rest and I felt something and I just felt like I'd been having a ton of Braxton Hicks contractions, which are generally like not painful tightening of the abdomen the whole time, like since 20 weeks, and so I thought I was just having that and I had been practicing.
• 26:01
  Courtney: I'd been practicing the affirmations, but also practicing this breathing.
• 26:04
  Courtney: Every time I had a cramp or a painless contraction, I would practice a long, slow exhale and like relaxing my face, muscles and shoulders.
• 26:16
  Courtney: So every morning I would wake up and I had these horrible like Charlie horses in my calf and I would think like let go, and I would breathe out, relax my face muscles, relax my shoulders and breathe through that pain.
• 26:30
  Courtney: And I had been doing that to prepare for labor.
• 26:32
  Courtney: So I was having this like very mild discomfort at like 9.30, 10 PM, no, like 10 PM, Um, and I thought, oh, great an opportunity to practice my breathing.
• 26:46
  Courtney: And so I practiced my breathing through one and then another one happens right after and I was like, oh, like I should get out that contraction timer.
• 26:57
  Courtney: Like someone mentioned a contraction timer, I'm like maybe I should time these to see.
• 27:02
  Courtney: I should have known, because I couldn't figure out the app.
• 27:06
  Courtney: Like I'm trying to read the app and I couldn't read.
• 27:09
  Courtney: I'm like looking at it and like I'm just like it did not make sense.
• 27:14
  Courtney: It took me like 20 minutes to download this app and to record two contractions that were coming just like a minute apart.
• 27:24
  Courtney: And then so, once I noticed that and had the app downloaded, I was like I think I'm in labor.
• 27:32
  Courtney: I had one that felt like really uncomfortable and I had to breathe and like I was watching it in my mind.
• 27:43
  Courtney: So I was watching the intensity of the wave go up and then watching it go down, and that felt very comforting.
• 27:47
  Courtney: And I was watching the intensity of the wave go up and then watching it go down, and that felt very comforting.
• 27:50
  Courtney: And I was like, okay, if I need to be comforted by this going down, that's what labor is.
• 27:55
  Courtney: If I'm like waiting for that, that's.
• 28:00
  Courtney: So I thought any minute I'm going to get up and go get Charlie, but I just didn't get up.
• 28:05
  Courtney: I just didn't want to get up until I felt like I had to pee.
• 28:07
  Courtney: And so I rushed to the bathroom and I peed and I heard a pop.
• 28:16
  Courtney: That's what it sounded like.
• 28:17
  Courtney: I don't know if that's literally what happened, but it sounded like a pop, Um, and water came gushing out.
• 28:21
  Courtney: I, my water broke, which was surprising to me because I still didn't 100% believe I was in labor.
• 28:36
  Courtney: So I ran to wake up Charlie.
• 28:37
  Courtney: Charlie had gone to bed already.
• 28:39
  Courtney: It's 1030.
• 28:40
  Courtney: I know because I tapped the contraction timer.
• 28:42
  Courtney: Again it's 1030.
• 28:43
  Courtney: And I just like burst open the door and I'm like, which I've never done, Like I've never woken him up, I'm in labor.
• 28:50
  Courtney: And he's like what's happening?
• 28:54
  Courtney: And I'm like I am in labor right now and he's like, okay, call the midwife.
• 28:59
  Courtney: I'm like, yes, call the midwife.
• 29:01
  Courtney: And then I run back to the bathroom because I just want to labor alone.
• 29:05
  Courtney: I just want to labor in the bathroom, the bathroom because I just want to labor alone.
• 29:09
  Courtney: I just want to labor in the bathroom.
• 29:10
  Courtney: Like the bathroom is the place where we get private and open and like that.
• 29:16
  Courtney: That's where I gave birth to my first child.
• 29:18
  Courtney: I just wanted to be back in there.
• 29:19
  Courtney: So I'm back in the bathroom and I'm laboring and I'm realizing like I have to reach for more and more tools very, very quickly.
• 29:29
  Courtney: So at first it was doing the breathing.
• 29:30
  Courtney: I'm watching the wave go up and down, and then by the time Charlie's there with the midwife on the phone, I can hear myself like with a low kind of groan out and a part of me felt like that's too much, too soon, right.
• 29:46
  Courtney: But then I was like no, that's not, it's not, I'm doing exactly what I need to do.
• 29:50
  Courtney: I felt really calm.
• 29:52
  Courtney: I had loved my first birth, but I wanted to feel less afraid and so all of the meditation that I did in preparation for this birth was kind of focused on that on accepting and not feeling afraid, surrender, just letting everything happen and I, I and it just worked.
• 30:13
  Courtney: It just worked.
• 30:14
  Courtney: I felt comforted, I felt calm.
• 30:18
  Courtney: Charlie tells the story in a funnier way.
• 30:20
  Courtney: He's like I had one pant leg on.
• 30:22
  Courtney: You know, I'm like running into the bathroom right, I come across the corner and it's covered in blood.
• 30:27
  Courtney: You know, there was meconium.
• 30:32
  Courtney: My water broke.
• 30:33
  Courtney: There's meconium everywhere, which Charlie was not prepared for.
• 30:36
  Courtney: I don't know if he knew what it was, but he was just like okay, something is happening.
• 30:39
  Courtney: He's on the phone with the midwife.
• 30:43
  Courtney: I had the thought came to me my body is opening.
• 30:47
  Courtney: That's what it felt.
• 30:48
  Courtney: Like I felt like my body's opening to let my baby out.
• 30:53
  Courtney: My body is opening.
• 30:54
  Courtney: She's talking right now.
• 30:55
  Courtney: I remembered Ina May and I reached down to feel her head and I feel feet and at first I thought it was like her hand, like maybe her hand was up by her head, and I was like no, it's feet.
• 31:12
  Courtney: And I said out loud it's feet.
• 31:13
  Courtney: And the midwife is on speakerphone.
• 31:14
  Courtney: Charlie is standing at the doorway at the bathroom.
• 31:17
  Courtney: I'm in the bathroom by myself, which was perfect.
• 31:21
  Courtney: Which was perfect.
• 31:22
  Courtney: And so she, I feel feet.
• 31:26
  Courtney: I say I feel feet to the midwife and to Charlie and I, yeah, I just felt my body open and push her out, and then I'm holding her body, her head is still inside me, and at that point my midwife on the phone says you think she's coming feet first?
• 31:44
  Courtney: And I said no, she has come feet first, like I'm holding her body and I assume my midwife was trying to think about what to say next, but I felt another rush and her head came out, just like that.
• 31:59
  Courtney: Just two pushes just came right out.
• 32:04
  Courtney: I know I tried to pick her up to my chest but I couldn't because her cord was wrapped around her neck, which I have since learned is protective and good, but and I wasn't worried I remember feeling kind of confused, like what do I do?
• 32:20
  Courtney: I felt like it was very slow motion and I tried to turn her one way and the cord didn't unroll, like it got tighter.
• 32:26
  Courtney: And then I was like oh, turn the other way and cord didn't unroll, like it got tighter.
• 32:27
  Courtney: And then I was like, oh, turn the other way.
• 32:29
  Courtney: And I just turned her twice and then lifted her to my chest.
• 32:34
  Courtney: I asked Charlie later.
• 32:34
  Courtney: I was like was I moving in slow motion?
• 32:36
  Courtney: And he said no, but I did.
• 32:39
  Courtney: I felt like it was just slow motion.
• 32:41
  Courtney: I just felt I felt so calm Once I realized that I was in labor.
• 32:45
  Courtney: I just felt like I'm doing this, we're doing this.
• 32:48
  Courtney: And all the affirmations came back to me.
• 32:51
  Courtney: Nobody had to remind me, nobody said anything to me.
• 32:55
  Courtney: Really they were just inside me and with my higher power and it was just so spiritual and miraculous and I lifted her to my chest and got some towels to dry her off.
• 33:07
  Courtney: My partner said I said did I look like I felt really calm?
• 33:10
  Courtney: Did I look panicked?
• 33:11
  Courtney: He said no.
• 33:12
  Courtney: He said like it looked like the goddess herself getting shit done.
• 33:17
  Courtney: Yeah, that's what it felt like that's what it felt, like it was awesome.
• 33:22
  Courtney: And then so the midwife is still on the phone.
• 33:24
  Courtney: She's like does the baby seem to be breathing?
• 33:27
  Courtney: I said yes, you know, I just described her color.
• 33:30
  Courtney: She looks a little bit blue, but she's breathing and she's warm.
• 33:33
  Courtney: She said that's totally fine, just put her on your chest Great, you know.
• 33:37
  Courtney: Wrap her in the towel, dry her off.
• 33:40
  Courtney: She tried to coach me through like delivering my placenta and I was like I just need to lay down, like I just want to lay down right now.
• 33:47
  Courtney: And then she was trying to tell Charlie stuff and Charlie was just like I need to end the call, like we just need to be calm and quiet for a little bit.
• 33:59
  Courtney: And my widow was like no problem, I'm driving over, I'll see you in an hour.
• 34:01
  Courtney: She's an hour away.
• 34:02
  Courtney: So we had this beautiful, beautiful hour, just the three of us sitting in bed.
• 34:08
  Courtney: You know we latched the baby and still attached to my placenta, which was still inside my body, but that was fine, you know she had a really long cord.
• 34:17
  Courtney: It was also wrapped around her legs and that was totally fine and we just nursed.
• 34:21
  Courtney: And then Rebecca came and was there in like an hour, and that was 10, that was 10.39.
• 34:29
  Courtney: So I woke Charlie up at 10.30.
• 34:31
  Courtney: She was born nine minutes later.
• 34:34
  Angela: Oh, my goodness, wow, so wait, how did the placenta come out then?
• 34:39
  Angela: It was when she got there.
• 34:40
  Angela: You kind of, how did that go?
• 34:42
  Courtney: Yeah.
• 34:42
  Courtney: So once Rebecca got there thanks, I didn't know if that was too graphic for your so part of my placenta had come out.
• 34:47
  Courtney: So once Rebecca got there thanks, I didn't know if that was too graphic for your listeners so part of my placenta had come out.
• 34:51
  Courtney: So it's kind of like half hanging out of me, which was fine.
• 34:53
  Courtney: I just laid down in bed and rested and I didn't even notice.
• 34:57
  Courtney: Sometimes people talk about the fact that there are still contractions to get the placenta out, like it's scary, but my experience both times was that it's so soft it doesn't.
• 35:21
  Courtney: It didn't, it didn't feel bad at all.
• 35:22
  Courtney: So it was just kind of hanging out with my placenta.
• 35:23
  Courtney: And then Rebecca got there.
• 35:24
  Courtney: She just quickly checked me in the baby.
• 35:24
  Courtney: She didn't even take the baby from me, but she was like let's get this placenta out and kind of coached me through pushing it out and catching it, which was really helpful.
• 35:29
  Courtney: I'm certain I could have done that too, but at both times my midwives kind of coached me through that part.
• 35:37
  Courtney: So I really like them being there, but it was totally fine.
• 35:42
  Courtney: She looked it over, you know.
• 35:43
  Courtney: She wanted to make sure that it was intact and that nothing was still inside me and looked great.
• 35:49
  Courtney: The cord was great.
• 35:50
  Courtney: It was really lovely and she took it home to put it in her garden.
• 35:56
  Courtney: That's what she does.
• 35:58
  Angela: Yeah, it can be a lot of things to coordinate when you have like the overwhelming rush of hormones of just really wanting to bond with your fresh new baby that you just birthed.
• 36:07
  Angela: Like, what about the placenta?
• 36:09
  Angela: It can be a lot to think about, but like to have that support to be like, okay, you're actually still pregnant.
• 36:14
  Angela: Until we get this placenta out, let's complete this process let's wrap this up?
• 36:20
  Courtney: yeah, it was great, yeah, you're so sweet oh, that's awesome.
• 36:26
  Angela: So how has your postpartum been going?
• 36:28
  Angela: How old is your baby now?
• 36:30
  Courtney: She's six months old and it was really great in some ways and really hard in other ways.
• 36:37
  Courtney: So she was born early term, I think possibly because she was great.
• 36:42
  Courtney: So she had a hard time nursing.
• 36:44
  Courtney: At first we had to work with lactation consultant.
• 36:48
  Courtney: We went to La Leche League and got a lot of support there, big recommend.
• 36:51
  Courtney: But now she's doing great.
• 36:54
  Courtney: I spent a lot more time in bed, which was extremely smart move and that was really good.
• 37:02
  Courtney: And now coming back into my physical body has been kind of hard because I spent two months basically sedentary, um, which I'm, which is not that good for me, um, emotionally and mentally, and I'm not as fit as I was when I was pregnant, even still now, six months postpartum.
• 37:24
  Courtney: So that's been kind of hard, um, but now we're getting.
• 37:29
  Courtney: We just did a big hiking trip and I'm starting to get back into my body in that way.
• 37:35
  Angela: Um it comes back and just to have that grace.
• 37:38
  Angela: You know, let it come slowly.
• 37:40
  Angela: I remember when my daughter was just born as went on a hike with her and it was like it was so slow and I had to take so many breaks.
• 37:47
  Angela: Now I do that same hike, like without taking any breaks, and I'm just like you know to give yourself grace and just take that time like it does come back.
• 37:56
  Courtney: Yeah, yeah, our bodies have done this huge thing, yeah, and are doing this huge thing.
• 38:07
  Courtney: I'm still exclusively nursing, you know, absolutely that's huge right.
• 38:12
  Courtney: She was like less than six pounds at birth and she's over 16 pounds now.
• 38:18
  Courtney: Like that's all from I mean, that's all from my body, all of it.
• 38:23
  Courtney: So, yeah, it's a lot she's.
• 38:28
  Courtney: I'm really lucky to get to do this again, all of it.
• 38:30
  Courtney: So, yeah, it's a lot.
• 38:33
  Angela: I'm really lucky to get to do this again.
• 38:36
  Angela: Oh, that's beautiful.
• 38:38
  Angela: So, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what's the biggest thing you'd want to share?
• 38:49
  Courtney: Wow, yeah, that's a great question.
• 38:52
  Courtney: I think, definitely, that women are just so much stronger than we've been told, and that's a lie.
• 39:15
  Courtney: You're like an absolute goddess and you're doing a miraculous thing.
• 39:18
  Courtney: Um, I and we're really, I think, we're lucky to get to do it.
• 39:20
  Courtney: Um, but it's super, super hard.
• 39:21
  Courtney: Um, so it would want women to have faith in, in our abilities.
• 39:25
  Angela: Yeah, yeah, so important.
• 39:28
  Courtney: Yeah, yeah, I just, I just refused to like hear anything negative, um, about birth and just said it's going to be great, I love to give birth, I'm so, so lucky, I'm so, so powerful, um, and I believe that about all women.
• 39:47
  Angela: Yeah, oh well, what a great spot to end it on.
• 39:48
  Angela: I believe that about all women.
• 39:48
  Angela: Yeah, Well, what a great spot to end it on.
• 39:50
  Angela: I believe that about all women too.
• 39:52
  Angela: I love it.
• 39:53
  Angela: So true, it really really is Well.
• 39:56
  Angela: Thank you so much, Courtney, for taking the time to chat with me today.
• 39:59
  Angela: It's been awesome chatting with you.
• 40:00
  Courtney: Well, thank you so much for doing what you do.
• 40:03
  Courtney: I appreciate it.
• 40:32
  Angela: Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth.
• 40:38
  Angela: If you're pregnant, whether you're a first time mom or if this is your fifth baby, I want you to check out the show notes, because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access my labor of love, a comprehensive self-paced online childbirth education course, or who you're birthing with, and I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey.
• 41:15
  Angela: So click to the show notes, check out all of those links and, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main birth over on Instagram.