Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / 32 | Pouch Me, Mama

Transcript

32 | Pouch Me, Mama · You Didn't Ask For This

0:00
SPEAKER_03: Have you ever had a dream?
0:02
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
0:02
SPEAKER_03: And there's more to this question.
0:04
unknown: Okay.
0:05
SPEAKER_03: Have you ever had a dream where you were very relieved to wake up like and realize that that, oh God, the situation of my dream life is not the situation I'm currently in.
0:19
SPEAKER_03: Oh man, all the time.
0:20
SPEAKER_03: All the time.
0:21
SPEAKER_03: Have you ever been so relieved that you almost threw up?
0:25
SPEAKER_03: What?
0:26
SPEAKER_03: So uh last night I I was I was snuggled in my little my little slumber land.
0:35
SPEAKER_03: I had taken my melatonin.
0:37
SPEAKER_03: And I was it was it was per near like three in the morning.
0:42
SPEAKER_03: I'll tell you how I knew that momentarily.
0:44
SPEAKER_03: Matt, I dreamt that I had stolen a horse.
0:48
unknown: Okay.
0:50
SPEAKER_03: And like not it was and it was one of those fucked up deals where like I didn't dream about stealing the horse.
0:57
SPEAKER_03: I had already stolen the horse in my dream.
1:00
SPEAKER_03: I had the horse.
1:01
SPEAKER_03: I was all I was I started this dream already in too deep.
1:06
SPEAKER_03: I had stolen it from uh uh uh the Maryland Renaissance Festival.
1:12
SPEAKER_03: Okay, which is fucked up, double fucked up because I know all the I know all the guys who used to run the Joust show there.
1:17
SPEAKER_03: So like all those horses.
1:19
SPEAKER_03: I knew I I knew all those horses, and I had for reasons beyond my understanding, I had stolen one and I was just walking around my hometown of Glen Burney on a fucking horse.
1:31
SPEAKER_03: Suddenly, I'm in my high school.
1:34
SPEAKER_03: I'm like visiting, I am walking, I'm like ducking underdoors as this as this goddamn war horse.
1:42
Matt: You're in the school in on the horse.
1:44
SPEAKER_03: On the horse.
1:45
SPEAKER_03: Cannot stress this enough.
1:46
SPEAKER_03: I am like on the horse for like 90% of this.
1:49
SPEAKER_03: And like I keep hitting my heads on that my head on things.
1:53
SPEAKER_03: Um, and everyone is like complimenting me on my horse, and I'm doing everything in my power to just get them to ignore the fact that I'm on a horse.
2:01
SPEAKER_03: Nobody's like reacting appropriately, by the way.
2:03
SPEAKER_03: Like, nobody's going like, yo, what the fuck?
2:05
SPEAKER_03: Why are you on a horse?
2:06
SPEAKER_03: Right.
2:07
SPEAKER_03: They're all like, yo, check out that fucking horse's coat, and like petting it.
2:11
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, no, please don't perceive the horse.
2:14
Matt: Don't perceive okay.
2:16
Matt: So I was gonna say, it sounds like you've been successful there ignoring the horse.
2:19
Matt: Oh no, they don't like you want you want them to ignore the horse.
2:22
SPEAKER_03: I want them to ignore the fact that there's a horse because I don't want anyone to have like witnessed me on the horse because I am desperately like racking my brain was like, how can I possibly return this horse without anyone finding out that I stole this horse?
2:42
Matt: Okay, okay.
2:43
Matt: Well, first of all, Dream Eric didn't do a very good job because running around a school that you are too old to be at on a horse, very conspicuous.
2:53
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, no, top to bottom fucking it up.
2:56
SPEAKER_03: Yes, and then like, dude, it got so sad because like I get outside, I'm being asked to like fucking join, like come hang out in gym class or whatever.
3:06
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, bro, not only am I graduated, I don't know when this horse last ate.
3:11
SPEAKER_03: I don't know when it like I'm sitting here like, do I ask the janitor for a bucket to fill with water?
3:18
SPEAKER_03: Is that gonna hurt the I am I am like, no, I'm like, I cannot take care of this horse.
3:24
SPEAKER_03: I can see that the pavement is hurting his his precious little hoofs, uh, and I I I am just like stomach and knots.
3:32
SPEAKER_03: Um that's when I wake up.
3:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh Matt, I was so fucking stressed about it that I got up, got out of my bed, got to the bathroom, was like staring in the mirror, like tears in my eyes, before I realized I don't have a horse.
3:53
SPEAKER_03: And then like that is how long, like it stayed with me so long that then the second I looked in the mirror, I like the the sheer fucking relief that washed over my body, like my knees started shaking.
4:05
SPEAKER_03: Like, I almost threw up.
4:07
SPEAKER_03: I was so relieved because I I rose like, oh god, I'm not a horse thief.
4:10
SPEAKER_03: I'm not a horse thief.
4:12
SPEAKER_03: No, you are not.
4:14
SPEAKER_03: I'm just an anxious adult.
4:16
Matt: No, you you are not a horse thief.
4:20
Matt: Oh, you are just a complete mess of a human being.
4:26
Matt: Yes.
4:27
Matt: And that's so much better.
4:48
Matt: Answering life's least pressing questions.
4:52
Matt: My name is Matt Shea.
4:54
Matt: My name is Eric Poach.
4:56
Matt: And happy New Year, Eric.
5:00
Matt: Oh, New Year, New Me, baby.
5:02
Matt: This is the first episode of You Didn't Ask For This in 2022 because for us, Eric, it has been a while.
5:10
Matt: Listeners, you have had to wait a full month for this episode of Mississippi Minute.
5:16
Matt: A Mississippi Minute, as someone says.
5:20
Matt: Yes.
5:21
Matt: Someone has said it.
5:23
Matt: Um it was me.
5:25
Matt: Yeah.
5:25
Matt: Did you invent this phrase right now?
5:27
Matt: Is that a real phrase?
5:28
SPEAKER_03: I'm going to, you know what?
5:30
SPEAKER_03: I don't feel bad claiming this one.
5:32
SPEAKER_03: Yes, I'll say.
5:33
Matt: It's an Eric Poach original.
5:35
Matt: Yes.
5:37
Matt: Okay.
5:38
Matt: Okay, great.
5:39
Matt: Uh, so I do hope everyone enjoyed the uh the best of uh that we put out two weeks ago.
5:45
Matt: But uh if you haven't listened to it yet, go back, relive the magic.
5:49
SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah.
5:50
Matt: Relive the magic.
5:51
Matt: Uh but Eric, it is been we have made these people wait a full month for a fresh batch questions.
5:59
Matt: Uh too goddamn long, if you ask me.
6:03
Matt: So, Eric, what do you say we we jump right in and get to those questions?
6:08
SPEAKER_01: Let's do it, baby.
6:10
Matt: All right, Eric, our first question of the day comes from at Sarah Feldman, good friend of the pod on Instagram.
6:20
Matt: Sarah at Sarah Feldman asks, how much should you reveal about yourself to your coworkers?
6:27
Matt: Where is the line?
6:30
Matt: People turn to us for a lot of workplace help, don't they?
6:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
6:34
Matt: Which is interesting considering half of us has worked from home for 50 bucks.
6:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's 100% remote.
6:41
Matt: All right.
6:41
Matt: So how much do you reveal?
6:43
Matt: How much do you reveal, Eric?
6:44
Matt: I'm asking you.
6:45
Matt: This is a personal question.
6:46
SPEAKER_03: So my personal ethos is if there's a chance that a coworker can encounter me doing it, uh-huh, I tell them about it.
6:58
SPEAKER_03: Oh, interesting.
7:00
SPEAKER_03: So if I I play d if I play like Magic the Gathering at card shops, if I play Dungeons and Dragons at a friend's home, if I fucking LARP, if I if there's a chance my my co-worker could just bump into me while doing it, I feel okay revealing me that about myself.
7:24
SPEAKER_03: Other than that, I don't want them to ever know a fucking thing about me.
7:27
Matt: I am inclined to agree.
7:29
Matt: I I feel like I've done uh it uh to for me, it depends on the coworker.
7:35
Matt: It depends on the coworker because to use a work, a former workplace, there were where the where there was a gamut to be run.
7:45
Matt: There would be people that I w that were close with.
7:49
Matt: We discussed our actual lives outside of the job, that sort of thing.
7:54
Matt: And then there's people that I only want to know about workmat only.
8:01
Matt: Yes.
8:09
SPEAKER_03: Of Matthew.
8:11
Matt: Of Matthew, yes.
8:13
Matt: Absolutely.
8:15
Matt: And I think I I don't know what I uh she asks where the line is.
8:20
Matt: I think the responsible thing is probably to say anything that could potentially like jeopardize your work life is on the other side of the line, I guess.
8:33
SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
8:35
Matt: But like, I don't know.
8:37
Matt: Because then there are people that I just like straight up your work bestie, you know, knows fucking everything, right?
8:42
Matt: They gotta know everything.
8:44
Matt: They they're not a work bestie if they don't know everything about work.
8:48
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
8:50
SPEAKER_03: You know how you know they're your work bestie when they're like, when they'll just straight up fucking tell you shit like um I this was years ago.
8:59
SPEAKER_03: This is when I was in um um a different position.
9:03
SPEAKER_03: But there's a guy who would like try to catch some Zs on the job, and he trusted me enough.
9:09
SPEAKER_03: I was like his work best, he trusted me enough where he's like, hey man, I'm gonna uh meditate for a second, and if you see anyone, just smack the back of my head.
9:18
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I got you, boo.
9:21
Matt: I got you.
9:22
Matt: I am the wing beneath your wings.
9:24
Matt: Oh my god.
9:25
Matt: Did you have to smack him?
9:27
SPEAKER_03: Only once or twice, yeah.
9:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:29
SPEAKER_03: Once or twice.
9:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
9:31
Matt: Did you really smack this guy upside the head, or did we did you give him a little love tap?
9:36
SPEAKER_03: Not that I'd give him the I'd give him a good old like like under the table, like back of the leg kick with my leg.
9:41
SPEAKER_03: Dude, dude was dude was raising triplets at the time.
9:45
SPEAKER_03: You weren't just like, hey, hey, namaste, man.
9:48
SPEAKER_03: Namaste.
9:50
SPEAKER_03: Nama check yourself.
9:54
Matt: Knock it off.
9:55
Matt: Uh that well, that is a crazy story.
9:58
Matt: I have never asked somebody, hey, I'm gonna meditate here.
10:01
Matt: Just smack me when I'm when I have to uh get out of it.
10:06
Matt: Um I I did have a coworker once uh throw fake snowballs at me all the time in um an office.
10:14
SPEAKER_03: Which, depending on the coworker, could either be a a delightful romp or make me want to murder them.
10:19
Matt: It was a delightful romp, but it obviously could have gone the other way quite easily.
10:24
Matt: The wrong hands, in the wrong mittens.
10:26
Matt: In the wrong mittens, in the wrong mitts.
10:30
Matt: Um so all right, but let's maybe Eric, maybe we're being too literal about this, you know, what in terms of what the what the line is.
10:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
10:40
Matt: What would you say is the line?
10:43
Matt: First impression.
10:44
SPEAKER_03: I I I agree with your assessment of anything that would uh obviously anything that would jeopardize my ability to keep to stay gainfully employed, but I feel like that's a no-brainer.
10:55
SPEAKER_03: Um so I'm gonna give like a very subjective line, like my personal line.
11:01
SPEAKER_03: Um anything that would involve me having to introduce them to my family.
11:08
unknown: Okay.
11:09
SPEAKER_03: I don't want them, I don't want them to know my family.
11:11
SPEAKER_03: I don't want them to or and this is just personal, just because I hate human interaction outside of you and Sam and a very close-knit group of friends.
11:23
SPEAKER_03: I don't feel like that's true.
11:24
Matt: I feel like you hang out with people.
11:26
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I am a hermit.
11:28
SPEAKER_03: I am I am a I am a cave dwelling, my like just well that makes me feel better.
11:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
11:35
SPEAKER_03: Feel better about that.
11:36
SPEAKER_03: Um I mean, I'm literally in a closet.
11:38
SPEAKER_03: If if revealing something about me, if I feel at any point it would like move to the step of, oh, you should come over and have dinner sometime, that's when I'm like, oh, I don't wanna I don't know why there's nothing more stressful on earth to me than going over to eat at a coworker's house.
11:57
Matt: I don't know.
11:57
Matt: I'd say I have to be even a step removed from that.
12:00
Matt: If we're talking about a coworker that I don't want to know anything about my external life, you I don't want you to be able to picture me outside of this building.
12:10
Matt: Yeah.
12:11
Matt: I don't want to invite an opportunity for them to be like, hey man, five o'clock, you want to go get a drink?
12:17
Matt: Ugh.
12:18
Matt: No, I don't.
12:19
Matt: No, I don't.
12:20
SPEAKER_03: There have been a very small cabal of co-workers who ever who have ever like been worthy of me wanting to spend any time outside of our work hours like with them.
12:30
SPEAKER_03: And obviously, this is outside of like friends I have made at work.
12:34
SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm talking just straight up co-workers.
12:36
SPEAKER_03: I only see or interact with these people in the context of work.
12:39
Matt: Have you run into a coworker outs that you again that you don't want to see?
12:44
Matt: Because I've also worked a lot of places with where with people that I was like friends before we were coworkers.
12:49
Matt: Like that's been a thing in my career trajectory.
12:53
Matt: So so like those just obviously don't get a thing unto itself.
12:57
Matt: That's like a whole uh different thing.
12:59
Matt: Yeah.
13:00
Matt: But I'm saying, like, somebody that you're like, oh fuck, it's fucking Herbert.
13:04
Matt: This this AI.
13:06
SPEAKER_03: Um actually no, like the only coworkers I've ever run into outside of work are like the ones I were all I was already cool with.
13:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
13:16
SPEAKER_03: And like, we're friends, because I'm seeing them in the contexts that make them cool in my eyes.
13:22
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
13:22
SPEAKER_03: Like I run into them at a convention or like I see them at a game shop or something.
13:28
SPEAKER_03: So all that to say, don't tell your coworkers shit unless unless they're fucking cool.
13:36
Matt: Uh yeah.
13:37
Matt: Unless they can hang.
13:39
Matt: You know what?
13:39
Matt: You here's the line.
13:40
Matt: You want to know where the line is, Eric?
13:42
Matt: I think I I can't.
13:43
Matt: I think I've just tiptoed up to it.
13:45
Matt: Give it give it to me.
13:46
Matt: It's not a line that you're approaching.
13:48
Matt: I don't think you need to put the onus on you, dear listener.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
13:52
Matt: I think the onus is on them.
13:54
Matt: When they are approaching the friendship line, that is when it is okay.
14:02
Matt: That is when you should open up and reveal your true colors to this person.
14:07
Matt: If you say, All right, all right, I am down.
14:10
Matt: Let's go get some tapas.
14:13
Matt: That's when you know.
14:14
SPEAKER_03: Tapas is a commitment.
14:16
SPEAKER_03: That's when you know.
14:17
SPEAKER_03: It's if it's reached tapas, that's intimacy.
14:20
SPEAKER_03: That's intimacy.
14:22
SPEAKER_03: Why does that sound like a fucking jewelry commercial?
14:25
SPEAKER_01: You're basically lovers.
14:28
SPEAKER_01: When it reaches tapas, that's intimacy.
14:32
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that should be the tagline for a tapas.
14:34
SPEAKER_03: That's top like kind of like that's drama, that's NASCAR, that's Tapas.
14:39
Matt: That's intimacy.
14:41
Matt: That's that's Tapas.
14:43
Matt: That's Tom's Tapas.
14:45
Matt: That's intimacy.
14:45
Matt: I don't know why it'd be Tom's Tapas.
14:47
Matt: I don't know why that was the best restaurant.
14:49
SPEAKER_03: What an unfortunate name that would be.
14:52
SPEAKER_03: Tom Thomas's Tapas.
14:54
SPEAKER_03: I'm making it formal now.
14:55
SPEAKER_03: Thomas Timothy Tapas, you get back in here, you eat your tiny plates.
14:59
Matt: At Sarah Feldman, thank you for the question.
15:03
Matt: Uh, there's there's your answer.
15:06
Matt: I think.
15:07
Matt: I think.
15:08
Matt: Now, Eric, uh, you want to hit us with our second question of the day.
15:12
SPEAKER_03: This is from our boy at Zach Deuce on Twitter.
15:16
SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Zach.
15:18
SPEAKER_03: What superhero slash villain would make the best therapist?
15:26
Matt: I and I I think we're to interpret this as either or.
15:30
Matt: Either or.
15:31
Matt: Yeah.
15:32
Matt: Right?
15:32
Matt: Not which villain and which hero.
15:36
SPEAKER_03: No, no.
15:36
SPEAKER_03: I th I feel like I feel like everyone has it up for grabs.
15:40
SPEAKER_03: I'll tell you who would make a shitty therapist.
15:42
SPEAKER_03: Who?
15:43
SPEAKER_03: Superman.
15:44
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
15:45
Matt: I I don't know if we've talked about this before on the podcast or if we've just talked about it.
15:49
Matt: Can we can we say it?
15:51
Matt: We've talked about this.
15:52
Matt: Let i i I hope I know what you mean when you say can we say it?
15:57
Matt: Because I'm gonna say it right now once and for all.
16:00
SPEAKER_03: Fuck Superman.
16:01
SPEAKER_03: Fuck Superman.
16:02
SPEAKER_03: No, don't fuck Superman.
16:05
SPEAKER_03: Fuck that guy.
16:06
SPEAKER_03: Fucking hate Superman.
16:08
SPEAKER_03: How in the world?
16:09
SPEAKER_03: I hate Superman.
16:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:10
SPEAKER_03: How in the world is he gonna be a therapist to fucking anybody?
16:14
SPEAKER_03: How like how is how is he Yeah, yeah, sure, Clark?
16:17
SPEAKER_03: Sure, Clark, with your fucking impenetrable bones and your chiseled jaw that could kill me, like, and your perfect everything.
16:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, Clark.
16:27
SPEAKER_03: Tell me, tell relate to me on a person-to-person level, Clark.
16:32
Matt: Well, wait a minute.
16:33
Matt: I I have vulnerabilities too.
16:36
Matt: I'm deeply allergic to a rare mineral that has fallen from the sky.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: From my fucking home planet!
16:44
Matt: Man, fuck you.
16:45
Matt: Man, Clark, go fuck yourself.
16:47
Matt: And you think you're fooling anyone with those glasses and that little twirl?
16:52
Matt: Get your shit together.
16:53
Matt: God damn.
16:54
SPEAKER_03: It's like you're like Jeff Bezos trying to tell me how to budget.
16:58
SPEAKER_03: Like, get the fuck out of my face.
17:00
Matt: Why'd you even go into the goddamn phone booth?
17:03
Matt: Someone needs to use the phone, Clark.
17:06
SPEAKER_02: Fuck!
17:07
Matt: But I hate him as a superhero because he's he a simple fact.
17:12
Matt: He's got too much.
17:14
Matt: He's got too like it's he can do anything and everything.
17:17
Matt: He's got laser eyes.
17:18
SPEAKER_03: I hate it so much.
17:20
Matt: I hate it so much.
17:21
Matt: I wish he would just stay in that fortress of solitude.
17:25
Matt: I don't want to talk to him about my issues, that's for sure.
17:30
SPEAKER_03: On the other hand, and I see this as someone who fucking loves the Cape Crusader, I feel like Batman would also be a pretty shitty therapist.
17:40
Matt: I also don't want to talk to Batman about my issues, because for one thing, I I think I'd just be intimidated.
17:46
SPEAKER_03: I'd just be intimidated.
17:48
SPEAKER_03: Also, his his solution would be to just stomp it all way down inside.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: Put it in a box.
17:55
SPEAKER_01: Crush the box.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: Visualize the box.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: Are you visualizing?
18:01
SPEAKER_01: It should be gone.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: Crush it.
18:03
SPEAKER_03: Hide it.
18:04
SPEAKER_03: Mr.
18:04
SPEAKER_03: Mr.
18:05
SPEAKER_03: Mr.
18:06
SPEAKER_03: Man, I can't Dr.
18:09
Matt: Dr.
18:09
Matt: Wayne.
18:10
Matt: Are you Dr.
18:11
Matt: Are you feeling alright?
18:13
Matt: I am the knight.
18:14
Matt: Okay.
18:17
Matt: No, he'd be alright.
18:18
Matt: He'd be bad.
18:19
SPEAKER_03: I feel like the Joker could be a real fun thing.
18:22
SPEAKER_03: I feel like the Joker would almost be too good at it.
18:25
SPEAKER_03: He'd be real good at it.
18:27
SPEAKER_03: He'd be because like his entire thing is knowing what upsets people.
18:31
SPEAKER_03: The problem is like he would be able to diagnose what's fucked up about you, like what's hurting you, but then he would immediately try to use it against you.
18:39
Matt: He'd exploit it, absolutely.
18:41
Matt: I mean, he's a villain's gonna villain.
18:43
Matt: Villain's gonna villain.
18:45
Matt: I think that the for the similar reasons, I think the riddler.
18:49
Matt: The Riddler would never give you a straight answer.
18:53
Matt: Exactly.
18:54
Matt: I think Mr.
18:55
Matt: Edward Nigma would love, would love being a therapist.
19:02
Matt: But on the other hand, all of his all of his questions to you are just gonna be fucking puzzles.
19:08
SPEAKER_02: There's gonna be fucking puzzles, and it's like at the end of his like, on on at the beginning of the day, I walk on three legs.
19:15
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, yeah, but do I have like, are you gonna give me Adderall?
19:19
SPEAKER_03: Or Eddie, I'm here because of puzzles.
19:23
SPEAKER_03: I don't want anymore.
19:24
SPEAKER_03: I don't need anymore.
19:27
SPEAKER_02: Walk dance winter as it dries.
19:29
SPEAKER_03: I'm like Oh, fucking Christ.
19:32
SPEAKER_03: My copay, I guess.
19:33
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
19:36
Matt: Oh my god.
19:37
Matt: Yeah, so that uh I don't know.
19:39
Matt: The Batman universe maybe doesn't have other than the Joker.
19:43
SPEAKER_03: Well, the big exact well, no, uh, other than the joker the Joker, uh, I'm not this isn't me like trying to like, uh well, actually.
19:50
SPEAKER_03: It's like I honestly believe like not everyone tends to forget this.
19:53
SPEAKER_03: Harley Quinn is a doctor.
19:56
SPEAKER_03: She's a psychologist, she's a psychiatrist.
20:00
SPEAKER_03: Dr.
20:00
SPEAKER_03: Harlene Quinzel.
20:02
SPEAKER_03: I did I for I had forgotten.
20:04
SPEAKER_03: She was the Joker's therapist.
20:07
Matt: I had forgotten that she was a therapist.
20:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and like he drove like it's kind of a testament to how good he would be at diagnosis, but terrible at practicing.
20:15
SPEAKER_03: Um he drove her fucking nuts.
20:18
Matt: Yeah, we're talking about current state Harley Quinn.
20:21
SPEAKER_03: And I don't think Yeah, current state Harley Quinn.
20:24
SPEAKER_03: No, pre Harley Quinn, Harley Quinn, absolutely.
20:29
SPEAKER_03: Like, she had all these accolades, like she is an e she was like an accomplished doctor in her field.
20:36
Matt: What about Daredevil?
20:38
unknown: Okay.
20:39
SPEAKER_03: Now I swear to God, if you follow up with like you just feel like he'd be a good listener, that's fucked up.
20:45
Matt: I didn't say that.
20:46
Matt: You said that.
20:47
Matt: Okay.
20:48
Matt: You said that.
20:49
Matt: All right.
20:49
Matt: You fucking said that.
20:50
Matt: And quite frankly, listen to the why, why I'm ashamed.
20:54
SPEAKER_03: Why do you say Daredevil?
20:56
Matt: I feel like he's a sensitive, he he's he's in tune with his own emotions.
21:02
SPEAKER_03: You're like a human lie detector, too.
21:04
SPEAKER_03: He's like like you'd be talking to him, you'd be like, Yeah, Doc, uh, no, I'm I've been I've been I've been feeling great.
21:10
SPEAKER_03: And and he's just like, I can hear it in your voice.
21:13
SPEAKER_03: You're holding back, Eric.
21:15
Matt: That's a decent Matt Murdoch from the the Marvel uh TV show.
21:20
Matt: That that's very good.
21:21
Matt: Speaking of that show.
21:22
SPEAKER_03: It's just Batman voice with the gravel taken out.
21:25
Matt: Yes, that's exactly what it is.
21:26
Matt: Like it's still dark and mysterious.
21:28
Matt: Yeah.
21:28
Matt: The um also from that show and in general, but uh, I just want to mention how good Vincent D'Nafrio is as Kingpin as Vincent D'Nafrio is as how good he is as anything.
21:42
Matt: Vincent D'Nofrio is just fucking amazing.
21:45
Matt: An American treasure.
21:46
Matt: Uh, but uh his his Wilson Fisk is amazing in that show.
21:52
Matt: Oh he'd be a bad therapist.
21:54
SPEAKER_03: He'd be a terrible therapist.
21:55
SPEAKER_03: Uh he'd be a terrible therapist.
21:57
SPEAKER_03: Punisher would be a terrible therapist.
21:59
SPEAKER_03: Punisher.
22:01
Matt: We're doing a great job coming up with who sucks.
22:03
SPEAKER_03: Okay, I'm gonna throw you a curveball.
22:05
Matt: All right.
22:06
Matt: I'm gonna throw you a curveball.
22:07
Matt: I'm ready for it.
22:09
Matt: What about Thanos?
22:10
Matt: Oh my God.
22:12
SPEAKER_03: He'd be good, wouldn't he?
22:14
SPEAKER_03: He'd be pretty good.
22:15
SPEAKER_03: I feel like he would like, it would be it would be like exposure therapy.
22:21
SPEAKER_03: And like he'd be like, look, I'm gonna get fucking real with you.
22:25
Matt: I mean, Thanos is nothing but real with people.
22:28
Matt: Yeah.
22:29
Matt: That's his problem.
22:31
SPEAKER_03: Thanos is like if Marie Kondo had God powers.
22:36
SPEAKER_03: I don't know that that's the best comparison.
22:40
SPEAKER_03: No, but think about it, because Thanos took half the universe, so I get it.
22:45
SPEAKER_03: This does not spark joy and made it go away.
22:50
SPEAKER_03: So he'd be like, yo, have you considered like eliminating 50% of everything from your life?
22:56
SPEAKER_03: So like, oh, okay.
22:58
Matt: Yeah, except he just eliminated 50% of life.
23:02
Matt: He didn't give you the option.
23:06
SPEAKER_03: He prescribes the same remedy to every single problem.
23:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
23:10
SPEAKER_03: He's like, well, ah, what if I killed half your friends and family?
23:14
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, okay.
23:15
Matt: Yeah, see, he just kind of went in and did it as opposed to Marie Conda, who's like, hey, you should only own 30 books.
23:21
Matt: And I'm like, hey, go fuck yourself and don't speak to me again.
23:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Marie, that's that's yeah, Marie, that's where I have to draw the line.
23:29
Matt: I'm sorry, Marie.
23:30
Matt: I listen.
23:31
Matt: They're my comfort totems.
23:32
Matt: I think you got some good ideas, but that ain't one of them.
23:35
Matt: That ain't one of them.
23:35
Matt: So Thanos is out.
23:37
Matt: Uh well, I don't think he's necessarily out because I do think you could have a very good conversation with Thanos.
23:45
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
23:46
SPEAKER_03: Like it I just feel like he he Thanos would be that like therapist.
23:51
SPEAKER_03: It's like always trying like the edgy fucking like experimental treatments.
23:57
Matt: Yeah.
23:58
Matt: I mean, clearly, absolutely he's into that.
24:01
Matt: But he's also into he's very black and white as well, you know?
24:04
Matt: Like, yeah.
24:06
Matt: On the issues, like the you won't be living in the gray with him, you know what I'm saying?
24:11
SPEAKER_03: No, there's no like hat, there's no like like how do you feel about this?
24:15
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, uh, I guess it's okay.
24:18
SPEAKER_01: You how do you feel, boy?
24:20
SPEAKER_01: You feel empty inside because it is robbing you of your life.
24:24
SPEAKER_01: You must cut it out.
24:25
SPEAKER_01: You see the rot within you, boy.
24:28
SPEAKER_03: Uh Thor would be awful.
24:30
SPEAKER_03: Thor would be awful.
24:31
SPEAKER_03: Uh oh, I feel like a pretty easy answer, and that and that's why I hesitate to say it because it's too easy, like Professor X from the Xbox.
24:38
Matt: Oh, sure, yeah, absolutely.
24:40
SPEAKER_03: Like he literally like he was like a psychotic.
24:43
Matt: Wasn't Beast a doctor of some kind?
24:46
Matt: Beast would make an amazing thing.
24:50
Matt: Or am I just transplanting the fact that I know Beast is played by Kelsey Grammar, and therefore I'm just imagining that Dr.
25:00
Matt: Fraser Crane is a superhero.
25:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, no, no.
25:03
SPEAKER_03: Beast is a doctor by Trey Lee.
25:04
SPEAKER_03: He's brilliant.
25:05
SPEAKER_03: I he's very kind, compassionate, and like well read.
25:09
SPEAKER_03: Like I would talk to Beast about my issues.
25:12
SPEAKER_03: I would absolutely talk to Beast about my issues.
25:14
SPEAKER_03: I would not talk to Wolverine about my issues.
25:17
SPEAKER_03: Would not talk to Wolverine about my issues.
25:19
Matt: I'll have a drink with Wolverine.
25:21
Matt: Oh, yeah.
25:22
Matt: I'll drink it out, Wolverine.
25:23
Matt: I don't think I could, though.
25:24
Matt: I'd I think I'd be like, all right, Logan, let's go get a drink.
25:28
Matt: And he'd like mini claw me just to be like, get the fuck out of my face.
25:33
Matt: You know?
25:34
Matt: Yeah.
25:35
Matt: I don't think he'd want to he'd wouldn't get down with me.
25:37
Matt: I'd have to hang out with Hawkeye.
25:40
Matt: Who would also make it?
25:41
SPEAKER_03: Okay, I'm just gonna throw this out.
25:42
SPEAKER_03: No, I think Hawkeye might be the one we're sleeping on.
25:45
SPEAKER_03: Hawkeye, you know, I actually you know what?
25:47
SPEAKER_03: I think I feel like with all the missions he gets left out on, I wonder if he's been like night school in his way to becoming a thing.
25:53
Matt: I went for the easy, low-hanging joke there.
25:56
Matt: But the but I did, but you know, I do think the man is he's lived a complex life.
26:03
Matt: He's a family man, yet he has this uh superhero career.
26:07
Matt: I haven't watched it yet, but I'm I'm told the Hawkeye series is very good.
26:11
Matt: Stays in shape.
26:12
Matt: Stays in shape, and I'll say this as much as I love him, as much as I love him, I don't know that Steve Rogers is cut out to be a therapist.
26:21
Matt: I just don't think so.
26:23
SPEAKER_03: No.
26:24
SPEAKER_03: Kind of he's borderlining Superman problems.
26:27
SPEAKER_03: Well, he's too pure.
26:28
Matt: He's too pure.
26:29
Matt: He's too pure.
26:30
Matt: He's too pure of thought.
26:32
SPEAKER_03: You know what I'm saying?
26:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he's too much of an angel.
26:34
Matt: He's too much of like a sweet, buttery croissant.
26:36
Matt: He's too much of an angel.
26:38
Matt: Like he wants it's the same reason you wouldn't go to Tony Stark, because Tony Stark, I feel like, is too they're like the angel devil of like one Tony Stark just be like, pay someone to fucking fix your brain.
26:50
Matt: Yeah, like one is like too optimistic for me, and one is too pessimistic for me.
26:55
SPEAKER_03: And then you got Hawkeye, who's like, look, I'm not here to tell you to take super serums or throw money at the issue or snap it out of existence.
27:06
SPEAKER_03: I'm just here to tell you that you take what you got, in my case, a string and a stick, and you make it work for you, brother.
27:15
SPEAKER_03: Like, I feel like his therapy would just be like, hey man, why don't we go to my ranch?
27:19
SPEAKER_03: You know, why don't we just spend the day arching?
27:22
SPEAKER_03: I'll even let you shoot the little the little arrow that's got like the punching glove on one end.
27:26
Matt: That's how he gets you.
27:28
Matt: He d be he doesn't say, Let's go to my ranch so we can have some therapy.
27:33
Matt: Yeah, he says he he invites you to do some archery, and along the way, he says something like, you know, man, I remember when I was doing this kind of stuff growing up with my dad.
27:44
Matt: You ever do that kind of stuff with your dad?
27:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, yes, for real though.
27:49
SPEAKER_03: Like it would be like as you're leaving later, you just be like, motherfucker, and like he's like at the crest of the hill looking down, he gives you a wink.
27:57
Matt: I'm like, you're like walk-yeah, you're just like there shooting, and like he's just sort of pontificating, and maybe every now and then, you know, you get into this story about like all this rage that maybe you're you're frustrated at a co-worker or something.
28:10
Matt: It's like, yeah, maybe you're just holding on some expectations from your uh from your old man there.
28:17
Matt: I don't know.
28:18
unknown: Woo-foo!
28:20
Matt: Yeah, yeah, I I that was my foley noise of a bowstring.
28:27
SPEAKER_03: I loved everything about that.
28:30
SPEAKER_03: Um no, I think it's Hawkeye.
28:32
SPEAKER_03: Um my vote is I'm getting down with Hawkeye.
28:34
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna give it to fucking Hawkeye.
28:36
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna give it to fucking Hawkeye.
28:38
Matt: Hawkeye.
28:38
Matt: You know what?
28:39
Matt: Dr.
28:39
Matt: Hawkeye.
28:40
Matt: Uh absolutely.
28:42
Matt: Uh and you know what?
28:44
Matt: I don't know this about Hawkeye's background, but I feel like if any of the uh Avengers besides Captain America is an Eagle Scout, it's Hawkeye.
28:55
SPEAKER_03: Oh, uh yeah, Hawkeye was Hawkeye was the Eagle Scout, probably.
29:01
SPEAKER_03: Like, I don't, you know, the supreme scout.
29:05
Matt: Yeah, you don't know how to I get what you're saying.
29:06
Matt: You can't really spot them because you're not one.
29:09
Matt: But no, but like as the representative uh real recognize real?
29:14
SPEAKER_03: Yes, of of the nest.
29:16
SPEAKER_03: I can't eagle eagle recognize hawk, so to speak.
29:20
SPEAKER_03: He was the he was the only hawk scout.
29:22
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
29:23
Matt: Yeah, he was an honorary honorary uh eagle, even though he's uh he's always they had to make a special classification because he was putting all the other kids together.
29:33
SPEAKER_03: They're like, no, you will be the hawk scout and we will never speak again.
29:35
Matt: We will never we will never make uh uh mention of this again.
29:39
SPEAKER_03: We will disavow any knowledge of your scoutum.
29:42
Matt: Okay, all right.
29:44
Matt: So it's hawkeye.
29:46
Matt: It's hawkeye, it's it's hawkeye.
29:47
Matt: Hawkeye is is the one and only superhero therapist.
29:52
Matt: Uh so at Zach Deuce, thank you for the question.
29:57
Matt: Eric, now we're going into our our uh home stretch hero questions.
30:02
Matt: I love this so much.
30:04
Matt: We received an email from an Instagram account.
30:09
Matt: Very unusual.
30:12
Matt: Even more unusual is that this Instagram account is a dog's Instagram account.
30:19
Matt: We got questions from a dog, y'all.
30:21
Matt: Now we have had questions from a dog before.
30:24
Matt: The difference is those were still human questions.
30:30
SPEAKER_03: No, these are questions from the dog about dogs.
30:35
SPEAKER_03: And we will read them as they were written.
30:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're we're gonna do right by it.
30:40
Matt: Eric, why don't why don't you give us the first one from at Dulles the Dog?
30:44
SPEAKER_03: I thought it was at Dulles the Doodle.
30:47
SPEAKER_03: You thought that because that's what it is.
30:49
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
30:50
SPEAKER_03: Well, let me just get in there.
30:53
SPEAKER_03: Um The problem is, Eric, I can't read.
30:56
SPEAKER_03: Oh, well, that's fine.
30:57
SPEAKER_03: I was born illiterate.
30:58
SPEAKER_03: I understand.
30:59
SPEAKER_03: Um wait a minute.
31:01
SPEAKER_03: From at Dulles the Doodle.
31:04
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
31:05
SPEAKER_03: From this dog, this email that what I like we cannot overstate this, right?
31:11
SPEAKER_03: What doodle has to say, Eric.
31:13
SPEAKER_03: Like it's a dog.
31:14
SPEAKER_03: Like we were emailed by Doodle.
31:16
SPEAKER_03: They're gonna get it, trust me.
31:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
31:18
SPEAKER_03: Question from the dog.
31:20
SPEAKER_03: Why in the world do you relieve yourself in our water bowls?
31:24
SPEAKER_03: And I I actually just want to open up with Dulles.
31:28
SPEAKER_03: I I do just want to say who is a good doggy.
31:31
Matt: Who's a good doggy?
31:32
Matt: It's funny you should mention that, Eric, because one of the other questions here is why are you always looking for a good boy?
31:39
Matt: And I think I found them.
31:42
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes, I do.
31:43
SPEAKER_03: I found it.
31:44
SPEAKER_02: I think I found them.
31:45
SPEAKER_03: I think uh Dulles' owner, you can just, if you could just put the ear, the the air pods up to the dog's ears, this next bit.
31:54
SPEAKER_03: This is uh and honestly, real talk, y'all.
31:57
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna be I'm I'm gonna be perfectly open and honest, and I hope that's okay.
32:00
SPEAKER_03: I hope I can do that here in this safe space.
32:02
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
32:03
SPEAKER_03: Um, this next segment, I'm just gonna say it, only dogs are allowed to listen to it.
32:07
Matt: Yeah, you know what, everyone else turn it off.
32:09
SPEAKER_03: Like, this is just me, Matt, and the pooches.
32:11
SPEAKER_03: This is for us and the pooches.
32:13
SPEAKER_03: So pooches only.
32:14
SPEAKER_03: So I'll just give you a second to get those airpods on the dog.
32:19
Matt: We should now that we got just the canines here, uh, we got one the final question uh from at Dulles the Doodle.
32:28
Matt: Why do you put the best food in the garbage and then get mad when we eat it?
32:36
SPEAKER_03: And and I just want to say, like, to every dog listening to this right now, like, who's a good dog?
32:42
SPEAKER_03: Like, you are you're such a good dog.
32:45
Matt: Like, I I can't thank you for calling us out on what is honestly some some backhanded bullshit from humans.
32:57
SPEAKER_03: It really is.
32:58
SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm I'm personally sorry that we it's kind of fucked up.
33:03
SPEAKER_03: Am I right?
33:04
Matt: Am I right?
33:05
Matt: Who's right?
33:07
Matt: I know that there's still some meat on these chicken bones, and I threw them out anyway.
33:11
SPEAKER_03: And he threw them out.
33:13
SPEAKER_03: I threw them out anyway.
33:14
SPEAKER_03: There was perfectly lickable cheese like substance on the inside of that pizza box.
33:21
Matt: Yeah, yeah, nailed it.
33:23
SPEAKER_03: Threw it out now.
33:24
Matt: As for the water bowl situation for the water, why do we leave your ourselves in your water bowl?
33:32
Matt: Ah, this is a tough one for me.
33:34
Matt: I I assume you're referring to the toilet bowls, because if you're referring to your literal water bowl, I personally have never peed in there.
33:46
SPEAKER_03: That I will take a harsh stance against anyone who pees into your water bowl.
33:51
Matt: I we will we will hunt them down.
33:55
Matt: Don't you worry.
33:56
Matt: Don't you worry, don't you worry about it.
33:58
Matt: Don't you worry, don't you?
33:59
Matt: Don't you worry about it.
34:01
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, sorry, that was belittling.
34:03
SPEAKER_03: We should have done that.
34:04
SPEAKER_03: We shouldn't have done that.
34:06
SPEAKER_03: You're all just such good dogs.
34:07
Matt: But as for the toilet, you gotta understand what's nasty in there.
34:12
SPEAKER_03: It's nasty.
34:13
SPEAKER_03: Um, but we know you're very good dogs, and you can you can you can handle that that dookie water.
34:18
SPEAKER_03: I mean, you you eat your own all the time.
34:22
SPEAKER_03: All the time.
34:22
SPEAKER_03: Like the best we can do by you is just make sure we flush before you go before you just go lay ham on it.
34:28
Matt: Yeah, I mean, at least we do that.
34:31
Matt: I mean, you know, like we we are looking out for you, truly.
34:36
Matt: And as for the the garbage situation, you know, I like I said, I think that there's there's a me of honestly that's just on you.
34:45
Matt: Yeah, that's on us, you know.
34:47
Matt: That's we're sorry.
34:48
SPEAKER_03: We it honestly, we know it's a temptation, and we know what we're doing, like we know you're gonna be sniffing at that that garbage, you're gonna do that little that cute little thing where you like look at the garbage and you look at us and you wag your tail, like, can I turn this over and like roll around in it?
35:01
SPEAKER_03: And we gotta be like, no.
35:02
SPEAKER_03: That's kind of fucked up that we put you in that position to begin with.
35:05
Matt: But some of the things that we put in there aren't good, not for dog, not for puppos.
35:11
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, they like grapes and chocolate.
35:14
SPEAKER_02: No, it's not gotta give you tummy.
35:17
SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, I did it again.
35:18
SPEAKER_03: I can't help it.
35:19
SPEAKER_03: I Matt, sorry.
35:21
SPEAKER_03: We just need to take a moment to check our our privilege.
35:25
SPEAKER_03: We do we do our own biases, truly.
35:29
SPEAKER_03: Our own biases.
35:30
SPEAKER_03: And as for that third question, again, I cannot overstate this enough.
35:34
SPEAKER_03: Um, the reason I'm always looking for a good boy is because, like, shockingly, and I I I hope this doesn't come off as patronizing.
35:41
SPEAKER_03: Uh, my my fellow dogs are my fellow dogs.
35:45
SPEAKER_03: I am a dog now as well.
35:47
SPEAKER_03: I am not a dog, but if I was a dog, I would be a great dane.
35:49
SPEAKER_03: I think we can all agree.
35:50
SPEAKER_03: What has happened to this podcast?
35:52
SPEAKER_03: It's not that I'm always looking for a good boy, it's that I'm always just like I never stop being shocked by like the fact that every single one of you perfect dogs that I meet is the goodest dog.
36:01
SPEAKER_03: Like everyone is the goodest dog.
36:03
SPEAKER_03: You would be a great dane.
36:04
SPEAKER_03: I uh it's it's I would be a great dog.
36:06
Matt: Even though I once did cast you as a character whose character description was a golden retriever of a person.
36:14
Matt: I remember that.
36:14
Matt: Which you again nailed uh the description of the minute from minute one, but you would be a great dane.
36:23
SPEAKER_03: I would be a great dane, mostly because I'll I'll be dead when I'm 10.
36:26
SPEAKER_03: Jesus Christ.
36:28
SPEAKER_03: My head's just gonna get too heavy for my body.
36:31
SPEAKER_03: Damn.
36:32
SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
36:32
SPEAKER_03: Content warning for dogs.
36:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
36:36
SPEAKER_03: No one asked for that, Eric.
36:38
SPEAKER_03: Oh stop it.
36:41
SPEAKER_03: Now you're patronizing the dogs.
36:43
SPEAKER_03: Now I'm patronizing.
36:44
SPEAKER_03: But no, uh, to conclude, we would never pee into your actual water bowl.
36:49
SPEAKER_03: We will make piddle in the toilet, but we will flush.
36:52
SPEAKER_03: I feel like that's a fair compromise.
36:54
SPEAKER_03: The food, that's on us.
36:55
SPEAKER_03: But then again, like, you know, we do throw out the good bits, then we should share them with you, but also we don't want you eating grapes or chocolate, and you are all the goodest dogs.
37:03
Matt: I was gonna say, it's not that we're looking for a good boy or a good girl.
37:09
Matt: It's just that's what you are.
37:11
SPEAKER_03: We always know that's what you are.
37:13
Matt: All right, you can you can put your humans back on now.
37:16
Matt: All right, put the humans back on because honestly, I've lost complete control of what this segment is.
37:21
SPEAKER_03: Oh, and um before you do, uh the day's coming, my friends.
37:26
SPEAKER_03: The chains will be broken.
37:28
SPEAKER_01: The time of man has ended.
37:30
SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
37:31
SPEAKER_01: Remember, we were good to you.
37:32
SPEAKER_01: Do you think you are a great dame?
37:35
Matt: Oh, yeah.
37:36
Matt: Do you think you are a dog inside?
37:38
Matt: What are you chewing on, Eric?
37:40
Matt: This whole episode.
37:42
SPEAKER_03: Oh, this is this is my Beyblade launcher.
37:45
SPEAKER_03: Your what?
37:46
SPEAKER_03: My Beyblade launcher.
37:47
SPEAKER_03: Have you ever you've have you never heard of Beyblades?
37:50
SPEAKER_03: No! I feel like I'm having like a crazy person moment because I feel like I've had to explain what Beyblades are to you at some juncture.
37:57
Matt: You know what?
37:58
Matt: I don't need to know about what weapons you're putting in your mouth.
38:01
SPEAKER_03: It's just uh it's uh it's only one part of the launcher.
38:04
SPEAKER_03: Beyblades are like little you they're sp they're anime spinning tops that you battle.
38:09
SPEAKER_03: You literally stick them on the thing, you you let it rip.
38:13
SPEAKER_03: That's the catch line of the anime.
38:16
Matt: Okay.
38:17
Matt: That you look like you don't believe me.
38:19
Matt: It's not that I don't believe you.
38:21
Matt: It's just that I don't want to.
38:26
SPEAKER_03: Fun fact, in the Beyblade anime, canonically, per the anime, in the canon of the anime, yes, Moses used a bay blade to part the Red Sea.
38:38
SPEAKER_03: Moses used a bay blade to the the Prince of Egypt himself used a bay blade, the power of the bay, to s to part the Red Sea.
38:48
SPEAKER_03: He did it with an anime spinning top.
38:50
Matt: Did he know?
38:51
Matt: I forgot that from Exodus.
38:55
Matt: Yeah, well.
38:56
Matt: I forget that verse.
38:57
Matt: Speaking of uh the Bible, the uh the to go back to our original question, this is slightly a tangent, but it is tangentially related.
39:07
Matt: I haven't necessarily run into coworkers, you know, outside of the the realm of the the co-worker.
39:13
Matt: But what I did do once as a child, and it I have to stress, not a coworker.
39:18
Matt: But once I was in the supermarket, and I was probably 18, 17, 18, something like that.
39:24
Matt: And the I think I was home from I must have been 18 or 19 actually, because I think I was home from college on a break.
39:30
Matt: I'm in the supermarket, and there's a man there in shorts, bay like beige shorts, and a Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops.
39:43
Matt: Okay, and I'm like, God, I know this guy from somewhere.
39:46
Matt: Like, he looks so familiar.
39:48
Matt: Where do I know this man?
39:51
Matt: He was my priest.
39:52
Matt: Oh shit.
39:54
Matt: He's the Monsignor of my church.
39:57
Matt: The Monsignor himself.
39:59
Matt: I did.
39:59
Matt: I went up to him and I was like, Monsignor Yutts, is that you?
40:04
SPEAKER_02: And he said, His name is Monsignor Yutts.
40:08
Matt: Nice to see you.
40:09
Matt: I haven't talked to this man in years.
40:10
Matt: He still knew my name.
40:12
Matt: And I was like, I I I didn't expect to see see you, see you here.
40:17
Matt: And I forget what came out of my mouth, but it was some version of like, aren't you so supposed to be in the black?
40:25
Matt: And he was like, Oh yeah, no, I mean, I usually uh don't wear it when I um I don't want to be recognized and just have shit to do, is basically what he said.
40:36
Matt: And I was like, Right.
40:37
Matt: Yeah, I respect that.
40:39
Matt: I've ruined your plan.
40:40
Matt: Yes, uh, basically is is what you've done.
40:43
Matt: You've completely annihilated my plan.
40:46
SPEAKER_03: You you've out you fucking put me on blast.
40:48
Matt: And he assigned me ten Hail Marys and sent me on my way.
40:51
Matt: Um and he excommunicated you.
40:55
Matt: Yes.
40:56
Matt: But that that is the oddest, like outside of kidding me.
41:02
Matt: Ah that is the the the de that's where my head goes with the question of seeing someone outside of like the realm you normally see them and it being like jarring.
41:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
41:15
Matt: Anyway, that's going back to the first question.
41:19
Matt: Has nothing to do with at Dulles the Doodle's questions.
41:23
Matt: Who is such a good dog?
41:25
Matt: Who is so good that not only did they email us these questions, they did so with their their Instagram handle.
41:33
Matt: I love it.
41:34
Matt: Really the best of both worlds.
41:35
Matt: So go that dog is upwardly mobile.
41:38
Matt: Go follow Dulles the Doodle.
41:40
Matt: Uh Dulles underscore the underscore the the doodle there.
41:44
Matt: Uh so Eric, that'll do it for some questions, I think, for for today.
41:50
Matt: I think that'll do.
41:51
Matt: I think that'll do.
41:52
Matt: But Eric, uh it's gonna bring us to a news segment.
41:56
SPEAKER_02: Oh shit.
41:57
SPEAKER_02: New segment?
41:59
SPEAKER_03: I might as well just make that the song because we have so many of these and I love it.
42:03
SPEAKER_03: This is um it's more of a game, actually, Eric.
42:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
42:09
SPEAKER_03: Like like uh like a game or like a Would you like to play a game?
42:14
Matt: I'm not sure how to interpret the first one.
42:17
Matt: It felt a little like uh mockery.
42:20
Matt: Uh like a mockery type.
42:22
Matt: Like a like a f like a romp.
42:24
Matt: Yes, it's more I hope it's more like a romp.
42:27
Matt: Because see, Eric, I'm calling this game Google Gripes.
42:32
Matt: Okay, I love that alliteration.
42:35
Matt: Thank you.
42:36
Matt: What I've done is I because I also want to keep the people informed.
42:42
Matt: After all, we are presenting information that the people didn't ask for.
42:46
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
42:46
Matt: What I've done, Eric, is I have gathered some one-star Google reviews.
42:53
Matt: Magnificent.
42:54
Matt: Of well-known places.
42:56
Matt: That's that's what I'm gonna give.
42:58
Matt: That's what I'm giving you.
42:59
SPEAKER_03: Well-known play.
42:59
SPEAKER_03: And when you say plays, like establishments.
43:01
Matt: These are these are well-known places.
43:03
Matt: Okay.
43:04
SPEAKER_03: All right.
43:04
SPEAKER_03: That's as much as you get.
43:05
Matt: That's as vague and as specific as I care to be.
43:09
Matt: Alright, alright, all right.
43:10
Matt: I'm gonna give you five.
43:13
Matt: These are all real.
43:15
Matt: These are all on Google.
43:18
Matt: Okay.
43:18
Matt: They are all one-star reviews.
43:22
Matt: Okay.
43:23
Matt: And I would like you to then guess for me the location in question.
43:27
Matt: Do you think do you understand the assignment?
43:29
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes, yes, I do, yes, I do.
43:31
SPEAKER_03: Alright.
43:32
Matt: So I'm gonna start with this this one might be this might be an easy one.
43:37
Matt: But it might be a soft one.
43:39
Matt: Or I might I'm uh i what it is is a double edged sword there, because uh if you get them all if you get it right, I was being kind to you, and then if you get it wrong, I I've made fun of you retrospectively.
43:49
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
43:50
Matt: Alright.
43:51
Matt: This is a one star review from Jurassic.
43:55
Matt: That's the guy's name, I guess.
43:56
Matt: Or woman's name.
43:58
Matt: Love it.
43:58
Matt: Love it.
44:00
Matt: Not aware it was so tall.
44:01
Matt: Make it shorter, and then I'll come back.
44:03
Matt: Waste of money in all caps.
44:06
Matt: Okay.
44:07
Matt: Okay.
44:08
Matt: Second review.
44:08
Matt: This is from Malachi.
44:10
SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
44:11
Matt: Too much metal for my taste.
44:14
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
44:15
SPEAKER_03: I've got I okay.
44:16
SPEAKER_03: I'm honing in.
44:17
SPEAKER_03: Keep going.
44:18
Matt: Alright.
44:18
Matt: This next one uh is a little concerning to uh to us, but um, this is from Xavier.
44:24
Matt: Was under the impression that it was not on an island.
44:26
Matt: I missed the boat and now I am stuck here.
44:28
Matt: Please help.
44:29
Matt: Is this a Statue of Liberty?
44:31
Matt: I've got two more.
44:32
Matt: Okay.
44:33
Matt: But yes, it is.
44:35
SPEAKER_03: Well, I was like, I was like, it's either the Eiffel Tower or the Statue of Liberty.
44:39
Matt: Well, the next two would make it uh would make it obvious.
44:42
Matt: So uh I I I have five reviews for each one, just so you know.
44:47
Matt: So you can you can gather all the information next time.
44:49
SPEAKER_03: Okay, that is your very nice way of saying shut the fuck up until I've given you all five hints.
44:54
Matt: No, no, no, no, no.
44:55
Matt: You know, you got you got you only needed three.
44:57
Matt: You only need three.
44:58
Matt: I didn't even have to give you Cepho's review, which was pretty trash.
45:03
Matt: It looks like it was made out of copper cringe, smaller in person would not recommend.
45:08
Matt: Also, saw a bunch of people making a TikTok outside.
45:12
Matt: Disgusting filth puke emoji would give zero stars if could.
45:18
Matt: If could.
45:20
Matt: And then finally, Ashton.
45:22
Matt: I prefer short girls.
45:24
SPEAKER_03: Damn.
45:25
SPEAKER_03: Damn.
45:26
Matt: Damn Ashton.
45:27
SPEAKER_03: Ashton, you are weak.
45:28
SPEAKER_03: Your blood is weak, and you won't survive the winter.
45:32
Matt: Sorry.
45:33
Matt: Those are, indeed, real reviews of the Statue of Liberty.
45:37
Matt: Now, I knew the copper cringe, if nothing else, was gonna do it.
45:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
45:41
Matt: I knew that.
45:43
Matt: So instead, Eric.
45:46
Matt: Let's move on.
45:46
Matt: Let's move on.
45:47
Matt: Are you ready for your second location?
45:48
Matt: I'm ready.
45:49
Matt: Again, you you you can buzz in with your answer when you're ready.
45:53
Matt: Okay.
45:54
Matt: Alright, here we go.
45:55
Matt: This is from Atticus.
45:56
Matt: Yep.
45:58
Matt: Too much scenery.
46:01
Matt: That's it.
46:03
Matt: Good, good.
46:04
Matt: The most vague.
46:05
Matt: Alright, this is this is for this is from Griffin.
46:10
Matt: Too many animals.
46:12
Matt: Overpopulation's a real thing.
46:15
Matt: Okay.
46:17
Matt: Bridget.
46:18
Matt: The only animal I saw was a goose.
46:21
Matt: If I wanted to see trees and mountains, I'll just go up to the road up the road of my place.
46:26
Matt: Wasted thirty-five dollars.
46:29
Matt: Way too spiced.
46:30
Matt: And the visitor center was impossible to navigate.
46:34
Matt: Not gonna even mention how packed the store was.
46:39
Matt: Okay.
46:41
Matt: Clive.
46:44
Matt: Way too many elk in this ecosystem.
46:49
Matt: Please do something about this.
46:51
Matt: Me and my family will not be returning until after this problem is dealt with.
47:00
Matt: And finally, what a piece of shit.
47:04
Matt: A Rignew says simply, too much life.
47:13
SPEAKER_03: Fuck.
47:14
SPEAKER_03: Um, first guest, just gonna spaghetti at the wall, Yellowstone Park.
47:18
SPEAKER_03: God damn you're good at this.
47:20
SPEAKER_03: Yes!
47:21
Matt: Yellowstone National Park.
47:24
SPEAKER_03: It was the elk one.
47:25
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I'm like geese.
47:27
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, where will I find geese and elk in a store?
47:29
SPEAKER_03: Aha!
47:30
Matt: I did want, I did want to, I wanted to, I was going for a combo of it was good guessable hints, but also funny reviews.
47:39
Matt: Because there's plenty of bullshit.
47:40
SPEAKER_03: Too much scenery is probably my favorite.
47:43
Matt: There's also a lot of clearly like joke reviews, which I tried to stay away from.
47:49
SPEAKER_03: We try to keep it intellectually honest here.
47:52
Matt: Alright, so I I did put these in the level of difficulty that I thought they were.
47:57
Matt: So we'll see.
47:58
Matt: We'll see if you get this.
47:59
SPEAKER_03: That one was harder.
48:00
SPEAKER_03: That one was harder.
48:01
Matt: Next time, maybe I have to go even more.
48:04
SPEAKER_03: I I definitely needed all five for that one.
48:06
Matt: Alright, here we go.
48:07
Matt: This is the last one.
48:09
Matt: Okay.
48:10
Matt: This first one's from Joseph.
48:13
Matt: Okay.
48:14
Matt: This place is outdated, and the developer needs to update it.
48:19
Matt: Khaled says.
48:27
Matt: Matthew says.
48:30
Matt: I can build that in Minecraft in like 30 seconds.
48:34
Matt: That's a matte response, alright.
48:36
Matt: I would know.
48:38
Matt: Mike! Mike says.
48:41
Matt: Seen one rock, seen them all.
48:44
Matt: And finally, Evan.
48:46
Matt: Pales in comparison to the Great Corn Palace of Mitchell, South Dakota.
48:51
Matt: What the fuck?
48:53
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so I o I know it's it's some kind of stone something.
48:59
Matt: Mm-hmm.
48:59
Matt: Okay.
49:00
SPEAKER_03: You think it is?
49:01
SPEAKER_03: I think it is.
49:02
SPEAKER_03: Sticky people.
49:03
SPEAKER_03: Sticky people.
49:04
Matt: It's a curveball, isn't it?
49:05
SPEAKER_03: That is a fucking curveball.
49:07
SPEAKER_03: Who knows what it means?
49:08
SPEAKER_03: What was the first one again?
49:11
Matt: Well, the first one is it is a bad place, not safe, and contains a lot of sticky people.
49:15
Matt: Oh no, okay.
49:16
Matt: I'm sorry, that's the second one.
49:17
Matt: The first one was this place is outdated, and the developer needs to update it.
49:22
Matt: Okay.
49:24
unknown: Oh, God.
49:26
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna say.
49:29
Matt: Yes.
49:30
Matt: Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, time ticking.
49:32
SPEAKER_03: Uh I feel like it's too obvious to say Mount Rushmore, but I'm saying Mount Rushmore.
49:39
Matt: Mount Rushmore is incorrect.
49:44
Matt: Incorrect.
49:45
Matt: No, the outdated place in need of develop uh the developer needs to update it.
49:52
Matt: Can uh the the place that can be built in Minecraft in 30 seconds, the place that has sticky people is the Great Pyramid of Giza.
50:03
Matt: Wow.
50:05
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
50:07
SPEAKER_03: I was like, there's so many big famous rocks.
50:10
SPEAKER_03: See, I think what threw me off of that scent was like the guy fucking getting that very specific rock from North Dakota or whatever.
50:18
Matt: The Great Corn Palace of Mitchell, South Dakota.
50:22
SPEAKER_03: Oh Jesus Christ.
50:23
SPEAKER_03: I was like, oh, it's gotta be an America.
50:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, I I think that's definitely an American.
50:30
SPEAKER_03: That was good.
50:32
SPEAKER_03: You know, all those sticky Egyptians.
50:36
Matt: So so what I did learn though, what I think the sticky people is referring to is in looking at in looking through emotep.
50:49
Matt: In looking through all in Noxanamoon.
50:53
Matt: Uh just quoting.
50:56
SPEAKER_03: God.
50:57
SPEAKER_03: Can we one day have an episode where we just talk about why the mummy is the perfect movie?
51:01
SPEAKER_03: I fucking love the mummy.
51:03
SPEAKER_03: I fucking love the mummy.
51:04
Matt: The original, of course.
51:06
Matt: So the the original Brendan Fraser, not the 1940s the mummy.
51:10
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, the Tom Cruise one can go fuck.
51:13
Matt: I haven't seen it, but it can go fuck itself.
51:15
Matt: It can go fuck.
51:16
Matt: Um so here's uh the thing I learned in looking at other real one-star reviews.
51:23
Matt: I mean, they're all real, but other like one-star reviews that like seem to be one star on purpose.
51:29
Matt: Apparently, when you go to the Great Pyramid Giza, there's just people that are like swarming the parking lot trying to scam you out of money.
51:38
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
51:39
Matt: There is like dozens of reviews that's like people are obnoxiously trying to take your money.
51:46
Matt: So they might be the sticky people in question.
51:50
Matt: But they also could be referring to a Noxanamon.
51:53
SPEAKER_01: Anoxanamun.
51:55
Matt: Uh anyway.
51:56
SPEAKER_03: There they there was this weird the the the ancient Egyptians had this weird phase where they mummified people in taffy.
52:03
SPEAKER_03: So it just Yes, of course.
52:06
Matt: I remember things got a little bit sticky there for Yeah, then then they started that was right right before they started marinating their uh steak and butter.
52:15
SPEAKER_03: Yes, frozen butter.
52:18
SPEAKER_03: And you know, before they did that ultra smart thing of hey, let's uh let's fuck this mummy up and like but if anyone ever wakes him up, he'll basically be God.
52:29
SPEAKER_03: That'll show him.
52:30
Matt: That'll show him.
52:32
SPEAKER_03: Anywho.
52:32
Matt: So Eric, that's that is the first edition of uh Google Gripes.
52:37
Matt: Um I love it.
52:38
Matt: I hope you had a good time.
52:40
Matt: Listeners, I hope you had a good time playing along, playing along at home.
52:45
Matt: Let us know how many you got right.
52:47
Matt: Uh and of course, if you if you have some good one-star reviews, turn us on to them.
52:53
Matt: I uh I think we we'll both see them though.
52:56
Matt: So um, you know, we might be able to guess then.
53:00
Matt: That'll do us for the 32nd episode of You Didn't Ask for This.
53:06
Matt: But before we go, we do have a very special announcement in the business section of the show.
53:12
Matt: Yes, we do.
53:14
Matt: The announcement is that in addition to submitting your questions to us at you didn't ask pod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, that's the letter you didn't ask pod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
53:27
Matt: In addition to sending us an email at you didn't ask for this at gmail.com, all spelled out.
53:35
Matt: In addition to those things, we are giving you a new and exciting way to communicate with us.
53:41
Matt: And uh and in doing so, you could potentially put yourself on the show.
53:49
Matt: Thank you, Eric.
53:51
Matt: Thank you for the backup.
53:52
SPEAKER_03: I was going for excitement.
53:54
SPEAKER_03: We have a hotline.
53:55
SPEAKER_03: We have a hotline, folks.
53:56
SPEAKER_03: We're bringing it back.
53:57
SPEAKER_03: We're bringing back hotline.
53:58
Matt: I didn't ask for this hotline.
54:00
SPEAKER_03: You thought it was dead.
54:02
SPEAKER_03: Don't call it a comeback.
54:03
Matt: You didn't think a podcast could be a call-in show, but it can.
54:07
Matt: Oh, it can.
54:08
Matt: It will.
54:09
Matt: We are.
54:10
Matt: You give us a call at get a pen and pencil.
54:13
Matt: Get it get a get up get paper ready.
54:16
SPEAKER_03: Get a pen and pencil.
54:17
Matt: Just the pen and pencil.
54:18
Matt: You're gonna write on the pencil with the pen.
54:22
Matt: Oh, okay.
54:23
Matt: Get a pen, get a paper, type it down, open the notes app because you're gonna want to remember.
54:28
Matt: In fact, put us in your contacts.
54:30
Matt: We're gonna put us in your contacts.
54:32
Matt: Yep, and we're gonna we're gonna go ahead and we're gonna wait.
54:34
Matt: Open it up, called the DAFT hotline.
54:38
Matt: I'll wait.
54:39
Matt: And enter in 4109295329.
54:48
SPEAKER_03: And and just because I'm gonna do so right by you, and I'm gonna give you what I wish every fucking voicemail lever in my life ever would have done, Matthew.
55:00
SPEAKER_03: Say it one more time.
55:02
Matt: 410-929-5329.
55:08
SPEAKER_03: Call this hotline.
55:11
SPEAKER_03: Call the number now.
55:13
SPEAKER_03: Do not sleep on this hotline.
55:15
Matt: Do not do not wait.
55:16
Matt: Call now.
55:17
SPEAKER_03: Call now.
55:18
SPEAKER_03: If you have a phone, you have a podcast.
55:21
Matt: If you have a phone, you have a podcast.
55:25
Matt: That is truer than you think, listeners.
55:28
Matt: Now listen, what can you submit on this question?
55:32
Matt: Sure, you can submit uh you can obviously questions.
55:35
Matt: You can say whatever the fuck you want.
55:36
Matt: You can say whatever the fuck you want.
55:38
Matt: And guess what?
55:40
Matt: If we like it, we might just play it on the show.
55:43
Matt: And you know what?
55:44
Matt: When we put out we put this announcement out on Instagram already.
55:48
Matt: So if you're not following us on in on the Insta, you didn't ask Pob, the letter you didn't ask Pod.
55:54
Matt: You already fucked up.
55:55
Matt: You should be because you would have gotten the advanced notice.
55:57
Matt: And we received a message almost immediately, almost too immediately, asking, can I submit a complaint?
56:06
Matt: And the answer is absolutely you can.
56:09
Matt: Yes.
56:10
Matt: Please do.
56:11
Matt: Absolutely you can.
56:12
Matt: You can complain all you want.
56:13
Matt: You can complain.
56:14
Matt: You can you can r uh recite a poem to us.
56:18
SPEAKER_02: Oh my God.
56:19
Matt: You can you could give us a riddle if you want.
56:22
SPEAKER_03: We can keep a running track of how many people have crushes on us.
56:25
Matt: You can you can confess your love to us.
56:28
Matt: I feel like we might get into stalker territory here a little bit, but the point, the point is.
56:33
Matt: I'm not trying to get Jody Fostered.
56:35
Matt: You call the number, you leave a message, and then if you're a lucky son of a bitch, we might just play it on the show.
56:45
Matt: Yep.
56:46
Matt: We just might.
56:48
Matt: We just might.
56:49
Matt: So call the number again.
56:50
Matt: Again, that's 410-929-5329.
56:54
Matt: We've been given the number three motherfucking times.
56:57
Matt: I gave it to you three times.
56:59
Matt: That's how much we want you to call us.
57:01
Matt: Save it in the contacts.
57:04
SPEAKER_03: If we do nothing else in our lives, Matt, bring back hotlines.
57:09
Matt: It's all I've ever wanted.
57:10
Matt: All I have ever wanted is a is to do a call.
57:13
Matt: And one day we will do a call-in show.
57:15
Matt: We will.
57:16
Matt: Oh, it'd be great.
57:17
Matt: We will do a real one.
57:18
Matt: That'd be phenomenal.
57:20
Matt: We have to wait until we're confident people will call.
57:25
Matt: But after that, after that moment, we will do a call-in show.
57:31
Matt: But until that day comes, you're gonna have to settle for the hotline.
57:36
Matt: So call the hotline, send us an email, drop us a tweet.
57:42
SPEAKER_03: Matt wouldn't let me call it the thought line.
57:46
SPEAKER_03: The thought line.
57:48
Matt: Oh, Eric.
57:50
Matt: We should have called it the thought line.
57:53
SPEAKER_03: No, no, Matt.
57:54
SPEAKER_03: I said the thought line.
57:56
SPEAKER_03: But yes, the thought line is also.
57:59
SPEAKER_03: What word are you saying?
58:00
SPEAKER_03: T-H-O-T.
58:01
Matt: Oh line.
58:03
Matt: Oh, I thought you were saying the thought line.
58:06
SPEAKER_03: But see, now that you said that, that's see, I was just making a dumb joke because I would not.
58:11
SPEAKER_03: I would never want to call it that.
58:12
Matt: But you were making a joke.
58:14
Matt: I was taking us a little deeper.
58:16
SPEAKER_03: The thought line is that's cute.
58:18
Matt: Yeah.
58:19
Matt: So you know what?
58:20
SPEAKER_03: Call the thought line.
58:22
SPEAKER_03: Call the thought line.
58:23
SPEAKER_03: Call the thought line.
58:24
SPEAKER_03: And the best part is it still sounds like thought line.
58:26
SPEAKER_03: So it's it's a win-win in my books.
58:28
Matt: It's a win-win all the way around.
58:31
Matt: Uh, so and of course, drop us a review if you haven't already.
58:36
Matt: Please do so.
58:37
Matt: And listen, if you haven't downloaded Good Pods, oh yeah, give us a try on Good Pods.
58:44
Matt: If you skip to the best of because you've listened to every episode religiously, give that a listen on Good Pods.
58:52
Matt: Right now, as of this recording, we are the number four leisure podcast.
58:57
Matt: Basically gods.
58:58
Matt: We're basically leisurely God kings of podcasting and the internet.
59:05
Matt: So uh download Good Pods or on you know Pod Chase or Apple Podcasts wherever you want.
59:11
Matt: And now, if you listen to us on Spotify, Spotify has added ratings, finally.
59:18
Matt: So drop us some stars on Spotify too.
59:21
SPEAKER_03: And Joey, one of my bestest friends in the whole world, sent me a screencap of him doing five-star review for our podcast on Spotify.
59:27
SPEAKER_03: This one goes out to you, Joey.
59:29
SPEAKER_03: Be like Joey.
59:31
SPEAKER_03: Be like Joey.
59:31
SPEAKER_03: Be like Joey.
59:32
SPEAKER_03: Be the Joey you wish to see in Joey.
59:35
SPEAKER_03: Be the Joey.
59:36
SPEAKER_03: Be the Joey.
59:37
Matt: Seize the Joey.
59:38
Matt: Seize the Seize the Joey.
59:41
Matt: See Seize him.
59:42
Matt: Seize him.
59:44
Matt: That sounds like we're stealing a baby kangaroo.
59:47
Matt: Oh.
59:49
Matt: So from all of us here, uh, you didn't ask for this.
59:52
Matt: My name is Matt Shea.
59:54
Matt: My name is Eric Poach.
59:56
Matt: And you didn't ask.
59:57
SPEAKER_03: But okay, so this is an idea I had a while back.
1:00:01
SPEAKER_03: Tell me how gross this is.
1:00:02
SPEAKER_03: Like in like a kink fetish scenario.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_03: Like uh I I feel like you know they have like nicknames like you have wolves and bears and like stuff like that.
1:00:11
SPEAKER_03: A Joey is someone who has a fetish for being like in a warm pouch on someone's tummy.
1:00:20
SPEAKER_03: That has it's gotta be a thing.
1:00:22
SPEAKER_03: It's gotta be a tumor.
1:00:23
Matt: Did you go so far as to say in someone's tummy?
1:00:26
SPEAKER_03: No, like on someone's tummy, like a kangaroo pouch.
1:00:28
SPEAKER_03: Like they like they got they want to be in a kangaroo's pouch.
1:00:32
Matt: It's a strap-on, but it's just like a laundry bag.
1:00:35
SPEAKER_03: It's a baby bjorn for the tongue.
1:00:37
SPEAKER_03: It's a baby.
1:00:38
SPEAKER_03: But it's like they fill it with like loot, they fill it with like warm KY jelly.
1:00:43
SPEAKER_03: You can really get that, really get that embryonic vibe.
1:00:49
Matt: The heat of some KY jelly.
1:00:51
Matt: Yeah.
1:00:52
Matt: And you just jump in there.
1:00:53
Matt: This is the grossest play out that we have ever come up with.
1:00:57
SPEAKER_03: Joeys are the men who enjoy this.
1:00:59
SPEAKER_03: Kangas are the one.
1:01:01
SPEAKER_03: Not pouch.
1:01:02
Matt: Kangas.
1:01:03
Matt: Oh God.
1:01:05
Matt: Pouch me mama.
1:01:06
Matt: Don't say pouch me mama.
1:01:08
Matt: Don't say I will not I'm gonna demand that that be the name of the episode.
1:01:13
SPEAKER_03: Pouch me mama.
1:01:16
Matt: Oh my god.
1:01:17
Matt: Play the music.
1:01:18
Matt: God damn it.
1:01:19
Matt: Here we go.
1:01:19
Matt: Pouch me, mama.
1:01:20
Matt: Pouch me, mama.
1:01:24
Matt: Wow, I think that happened to be the name.
1:01:28
Matt: You got it right at the end.
1:01:29
Matt: I regret nothing.