Latest / The Layback Podcast / Brian Metoyer, New York Mets Org Right Handed Pitcher Ep. 78
Transcript
- 0:00Hey everyone, welcome back to the Lay Back podcast.
- 0:02Joining us today is Mets minor leaguer that at this point,
- 0:07Brian McGuire. Brian has had quite the journey,
- 0:11which I'm excited to get into today.
- 0:13I'm not sure if many people can even begin to fathom the amount
- 0:18of hurdles that he's had to overcome in his professional
- 0:21career and give an injury mindset, all those things that
- 0:24he's been fighting through. But I mean, that's why we do
- 0:27this and I'm stoked for him to get into do it today.
- 0:30He said off air he's going to try not to get too emotional.
- 0:33So all of us listeners and I guess me on my side, maybe we'll
- 0:37keep our fingers crossed that we can get something good.
- 0:40I know for a fact we will. Brian, thanks a ton for joining
- 0:43us and I'm going to kick it over to you now.
- 0:45Just give us a few of the basic highlights of the bio.
- 0:49I appreciate you bro. I'm glad to be here.
- 0:51We got a little, little history. You helped me out getting back
- 0:53on the field and things like that with rehab and I'm very
- 0:58excited to get in here and, and, and shoot the shit with you and,
- 1:01and talk about it and see where this goes.
- 1:03Try not to shed a tear. For sure, man.
- 1:06Well, you are a South Louisiana boy.
- 1:08So I wore my purple pearly shirt for you.
- 1:12Just had to go raw fish on there.
- 1:14I was running through the closet actually secretly I I was
- 1:18wearing a Padre shirt this morning.
- 1:20I was like, who can't be on the podcast with Brian wearing a
- 1:23Padre shirt? So let me let me switch that out
- 1:26real quick and I this one came calling.
- 1:28Yeah bro, I like the purple. That was my my favorite color.
- 1:31Yeah. Hey, and you wore purple in
- 1:33college as well, right? So let's talk a little bit about
- 1:37the, I guess, the real baseball background, what it looked like
- 1:41growing up for you and then ultimately moving on to college.
- 1:45Ball. Oh yeah.
- 1:47Well, first of all, my love of the game came from my
- 1:50grandfather. Actually, he turned me on to the
- 1:52game at a very, very young age. So as far as I can remember,
- 1:56I've always loved baseball, wanted to have a ball in my hand
- 1:59or a glove or a bat. And I grew up a Cubs fan,
- 2:02actually. I remember watching the games
- 2:04with him. Sammy Sosa used to be our
- 2:06favorite player. Carlos Zambrano was our favorite
- 2:09pitcher. So we was always excited when he
- 2:12got to throw and watch his outings and everything.
- 2:14But yeah, growing up, it was just baseball, dude.
- 2:18Like I remember my grandfather used to take me to the fields
- 2:21all the time with a bucket of balls and just go like, hey,
- 2:24throw. And I would just throw baseballs
- 2:26as far as I could and then go pick them up and throw them
- 2:28back. That love and that fire for the
- 2:30game has always been there. And that followed me through
- 2:33elementary school, high school, and then eventually moving on to
- 2:37Eunice, LA, which is where the grind started.
- 2:42Big time. Big time big.
- 2:44Time grind started. Yeah, that was a place that I
- 2:46didn't necessarily think that I would end up.
- 2:48I didn't even know where it was, to be honest, until I talked to
- 2:52the head coach there. Coach Willis so get being able
- 2:55to go there and do that, that changed my entire perspective of
- 2:59baseball. You remember the scene, remember
- 3:01the Titans? He was like, football is not
- 3:03fun, is it? That's kind of how it was going
- 3:06there. But in like, in a good way.
- 3:07I appreciated the small things and like I learned a lot about
- 3:10the game there and was able to carry that on past there.
- 3:15I still quote Coach Willis a lot, actually.
- 3:19I can only imagine. I don't know if you guys want
- 3:22any national championships while you were at Eunice, but I.
- 3:25Did not man, I was so, so like I wanted to so bad because I've
- 3:30always heard about it. You got the years hanging up on
- 3:32the batting cages of the years they won and you know you want
- 3:35to be a part of one of those. It was it was tough, but I still
- 3:37had it was a blast to probably the best actually.
- 3:40I can't say the best two years of baseball in my life, but it
- 3:43was definitely the start of like, something good.
- 3:47For sure. I mean, the talent you were
- 3:49around, I'm, I'm sure you were often thinking like, how were so
- 3:55many people so good at baseball here in Eunice, LA, sweating
- 4:01their balls off on this grind? Like you said, like I, I have
- 4:06friends that played at Eunice, hit myself, have played like at
- 4:12Eunice like in tournaments and different things like that.
- 4:14Like I mean, that's a swamp. Like it is, it is, it is muggy.
- 4:19There is no wind. That is one of the hottest
- 4:22baseball games I have ever played.
- 4:24Like, I mean, I was miserable. And you you did it my choice for
- 4:27a couple years. So more power to you.
- 4:30But I mean, everybody comes out of Eunice a better player
- 4:33because of what they went through while they were there.
- 4:36And also you bring up like seeing the years where they won.
- 4:40Like, I mean, it is seriously the years.
- 4:42Eunice is one of the most successful junior college
- 4:45programs in the nation. So I mean, what are what's maybe
- 4:49something that you took with you from your time at Eunice?
- 4:53Like I said, I, I quote Coach Willis all the time and he would
- 4:56always say that, you know, life's not fair.
- 4:58Things are going to happen and it's not going to be fair.
- 5:01So I took that with me, especially going through like
- 5:05the surgeries and the rehab and, and, and everything, all the
- 5:08setbacks and then this and that and not playing for so long.
- 5:12And then I would always think about, you know, life's not
- 5:14fair. It's really not and it sucks,
- 5:17but sometimes you just got to take it on the chin and and keep
- 5:20moving, you know, and that's what separates the strong from
- 5:24the weak, you know, the ones who decide to keep moving versus the
- 5:27ones that decide to let their situation beat them down and
- 5:30then keep them down. Because I always said I owe you
- 5:33owe it to yourself to not quit. So that really that really stuck
- 5:36with me that the whole life's not fair thing.
- 5:39Not just that. I mean, it was, it was countless
- 5:41of quotes and, and everything like he would pull things out of
- 5:45you that you didn't know you had in you, Especially me being like
- 5:49how I was. I was like 145 lbs dude and
- 5:53everyone else around me is like 210 these big dudes and I'm this
- 5:57little kid and like it was very intimidating, but he pulled the
- 6:01a fire out of me that I didn't know I had.
- 6:04And that made me a better player in the long run for sure.
- 6:07Was that really like the first time that you felt you were held
- 6:10to a higher standard by a coach or a team or a program?
- 6:15Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Coming out of high school, you
- 6:17know, I was going to like the best on the team.
- 6:20You know, you were the man. You were, you were the guy.
- 6:23Everyone, you know, when Brian McGuire pitch, he won the game
- 6:26type of thing. And then I got to Eunice and
- 6:28then so I got humbled really quick.
- 6:32I just had to find my place again.
- 6:34It was tough, man. It was tough.
- 6:36There was days I wanted to quit. Those days I didn't want to be
- 6:38there. Those days that it just wasn't
- 6:40fun. Stick through it and keep going.
- 6:42Keep grinding and good things happen to those who don't give
- 6:46up. So let's let's stick with that
- 6:48theme a little bit. Being humbled.
- 6:50But good things happen to those who don't give up.
- 6:53You're in your sophomore year, you're looking left and right,
- 6:56and you're seeing dudes on your team getting signed by LSU or
- 7:00getting signed by ULL and Southeastern and some of like
- 7:04the biggest programs in the state.
- 7:06Or maybe they're going across the country to go play.
- 7:09And you end up getting the call from an NAIA up the road that
- 7:13you end up playing out the string of your college career.
- 7:17So what was that like for you? Seeing some of your teammates
- 7:20sign these unbelievable scholarship opportunities at SEC
- 7:25schools or whatever, and you're headed over to an LSU satellite
- 7:30campus. Yeah, that wasn't the best like
- 7:34it was it was hard, man. It was really hard to see guys
- 7:37who, I'll say it, that I thought I was better than or brought
- 7:40more to the table than certain guys and they're going to play
- 7:43here and I'm not. And it was it was very hard.
- 7:45But then again, I love LSUAI love what it's done for me and
- 7:50what they've done for me and and where it's gotten to me.
- 7:52But back then I had told myself like, hey, if LSUA is the only
- 7:57place I have to play, I'm going to hang it up.
- 8:01I'm not going to play anymore. And then sure enough, LSUA is
- 8:05the only place that I have to play.
- 8:07And then I ended up going there. But I feel like God will put us
- 8:13where we need to be, not where we want to be.
- 8:15So going there was definitely where I needed to be, not
- 8:18necessarily where I wanted to be.
- 8:20And again, it was, it was hard, man, because didn't necessarily
- 8:25have the resources I had at LSUA like the facilities and
- 8:28everything, all the pretty stuff, but definitely made it
- 8:30work the best I could. And, and even there, like I
- 8:34dealt with some injury stuff and kind of got set back a little
- 8:37bit and didn't have the innings under my belt that I wanted and
- 8:42some other things off the field, just dealing with the stresses
- 8:45of life and everything. And it was, it was hard.
- 8:47It was definitely tough, tough place to be, but I mean, it was
- 8:52like I said, it was where I needed to be.
- 8:53So I didn't know that at the time, but looking back now, I
- 8:56can say like, yeah, that was the right place for me for sure.
- 9:00So then how were you able to parlay that into professional
- 9:03opportunities with it being so hard on the front end of showing
- 9:07up at LSUA to then exiting getting popped by the New York
- 9:13Mets? Yeah, I, I credit that to coach
- 9:15Adams for sure. He was a, he was a big blessing
- 9:17in my life. He helped me out a whole lot
- 9:19with that. He got guys come out to watch me
- 9:21play and even the games that he had guys come out and watch.
- 9:24I didn't necessarily perform how I wanted.
- 9:27But I do remember this is after the season, bro.
- 9:31He called me one day. I'm sitting at home.
- 9:32He's like, hey, we're going to go to this pre draft workout
- 9:37with the Nets. I was like, where is it?
- 9:39He's like, it's in Jackson. I was like, oh man, I, I can't
- 9:42get there. Like I don't have a car right
- 9:44now. Like I can't get these.
- 9:45All right, I'm I'm coming to pick you up.
- 9:48Like right now we're going and pick me up.
- 9:51And we drove to Jackson. I think it was like 4 hours, 5
- 9:54hours. Threw a pen there and threw very
- 9:57well. And then like the reaction I got
- 9:59from the scouts and everything was not the reaction that I was
- 10:04thinking that was going to get. I didn't think I threw that
- 10:06well, but obviously they saw something that I didn't.
- 10:08And yeah, if it wasn't for that Coach Adams and that, then who
- 10:12knows, man. Like may not have gotten an
- 10:14opportunity. It already sounds like in the
- 10:17short or small look into the story so far, other people have
- 10:22played a really significant role, like these relationships
- 10:25that you formed, just your trust in them to help you get to where
- 10:31you are. Like people taking a chance on
- 10:34you for the most part. How were you able to, I guess,
- 10:37like open up and trust others? Obviously you've gotten to a
- 10:41point now where you value the relationships you have
- 10:46tremendously, but in your younger years that can be a lot
- 10:50tougher as a 18 to 2 year old. It was definitely tough to, you
- 10:54know, put your trust in some, some people.
- 10:56Like I said, God puts you in a place where you need to be, and
- 10:59He'll also put the right people around you getting the right
- 11:02resources around you to help you, even if you don't
- 11:05necessarily see it or understand it.
- 11:07I feel like his, his plan is always going to play out the way
- 11:10it's supposed to. And I feel like not even myself,
- 11:13not even I could have messed that up.
- 11:15I just put my trust in Him that everything is going to unfold
- 11:18the way it was supposed to. So fortunately, it did.
- 11:22Going into those workouts, were you already throwing as a
- 11:25reliever? Now you're a back end of the
- 11:27bullpen guy coming in slamming the door, throwing the
- 11:30competitive innings in the back end of ball games?
- 11:33Or were you a starter throughout college ball?
- 11:35I did a little bit of both. I did start like some midweek
- 11:38games, stuff like that. But for the most part, yeah, I
- 11:41was coming out of the pen as the skinny kid coming out of the pen
- 11:45and just gun slinging. But yeah, I had experience with
- 11:49with both. I definitely favored the
- 11:51reliever side of things more. I think that's where I had the
- 11:54most fun, being able to get your name called, come in, shut the
- 11:57door or put a stop to their other teams momentum.
- 12:00Like, I love that you know that part of it.
- 12:03When you're in that position, are you super fiery with the
- 12:08grind of minor leagues? Like can't really see your pitch
- 12:10a lot. Occasionally I can see a
- 12:12highlight, but those are usually cut pretty tight.
- 12:15Are you, are you like a yeller screamer or you just like all
- 12:19business when you're out there? I'm pretty much all business.
- 12:21I'm a guy that like I have to like down regulate.
- 12:25Like when my name gets called, my heart starts pumping, bloods
- 12:28flowing. Like I get so amped up that I
- 12:31have to, I do this breathing routine where I have to calm
- 12:34myself down and get the heart rate down again and like really
- 12:37settle. But yeah, I feel like I could
- 12:39be, I could be that yeller screamer, but I definitely have
- 12:42to down regulate myself. It's like, I'll quote Coach
- 12:45Willis again. He told us there's not many
- 12:47things in the world that's going to put butterflies in your
- 12:50stomach like stepping on the mound or stepping on the
- 12:53baseball field will, other than like having kids or marrying
- 12:57your wife, like it's not many things are going to put
- 13:00butterflies in your stomach to like appreciate them.
- 13:02And dude, I think about that every time because I get my name
- 13:05called to go out there and just my stomach is turning.
- 13:09I'm not there trying not to show it, whatever.
- 13:11So I'm a guy who has to calm myself down versus Ant myself
- 13:15up. So even now, do you feel like
- 13:20every time you step on the mound kind of feels like the first
- 13:23time, like you still have those jitters?
- 13:26Yeah, absolutely. It feels like the first time.
- 13:28And then after being through everything I've been through,
- 13:30you never know if it's the last time.
- 13:32When I first went down in 2022, I didn't know if I would step on
- 13:36the field again. And that had haunted me for a
- 13:39long time, you know, thinking about that and having that in
- 13:41the back of your head because with surgeries and the setbacks,
- 13:44like I said and everything, you just, you just never know.
- 13:46So going out there now, I appreciate every pitch, every
- 13:50second I'm up there. I, I really, I really cherish it
- 13:53a lot more than I used to, for sure.
- 13:55Well, before we dive too deep on the injury side, I kind of want
- 13:59to finish out this draft talk. You signing, you getting into
- 14:04pro ball at the time, did you even know how hard you were
- 14:08throwing? I know you said you were kind of
- 14:10limited on resources. I think back to 2019, shoot, if
- 14:14someone had a radar gun, they had a lot of technology at that
- 14:17point. But like, did you even know or
- 14:18were like, were you just kind of going to these workouts blind
- 14:21and like somebody's telling you like, oh dude, that was 93 or
- 14:24something like that? Yeah, yeah.
- 14:27I've never wanted to really, like, pay attention to that
- 14:29stuff. I remember going into my junior
- 14:32year season at LSUAI remember going into it, coming back after
- 14:36the Christmas break, whatever, And we had an inner squad game
- 14:39and I was normally 919293. So we had an inner squad game.
- 14:44I threw and I get off the mound and my teammate goes, bro, do
- 14:47you know how hard you were throwing?
- 14:49I was like 2 to three, you know, like normal.
- 14:52He goes, no, bro, he's like, you hit a 7 today.
- 14:55Whoa. And I was like, really?
- 14:57And so it it, it kind of just came out of nowhere.
- 15:00I haven't been there back there since surgery, but definitely on
- 15:03the way though. But yeah, it just kind of
- 15:05happened. I don't know where.
- 15:07And like I said, I was never want to pay attention to any of
- 15:09that. And I was just more results
- 15:11based. But yeah, it was, it was nuts,
- 15:13man. So then what was it like when
- 15:15you ultimately got the call from the Mets?
- 15:18Oh, dude, IA lot like this dude. Like I just I didn't know what
- 15:24to think, bro. I was shocked because I was
- 15:27watching my phone, watching the rounds go by, you know, and I'm
- 15:31like, all right, it's it's not happening, it's not happening,
- 15:34it's not happening, you know, and then 40th round thousand
- 15:38pick 1190 Brian McGuire and I was like, man, no way.
- 15:45And I was grateful for the the opportunity I'd have went for a
- 15:49dollar, but even to get a little bit of money was was shocking to
- 15:53me. And I couldn't have been more
- 15:54grateful. I still am, dude.
- 15:55I think about that all the time, dog like little old me from
- 15:57Natchitoches, LA, how I think how sometimes because even me
- 16:02like I can't just put an understanding to how everything
- 16:06unfolded, but it did so. I don't know if this is
- 16:09something that you've ever wrestled with mentally, but is
- 16:12it funky now to think back if the 2019 draft existed today?
- 16:19You're yeah, 20 rounds gone at that point.
- 16:21I mean, I wouldn't be here, dude.
- 16:23Yeah, I, I, I, yeah, I wouldn't have got a shot.
- 16:27It's nuts to think about how, like, how good the timing was of
- 16:31it. It was just, it's like it was
- 16:32supposed to happen. Like I said, like, no, I
- 16:34couldn't even mess it up. No, not to have messed it up.
- 16:37Like it was supposed to happen. Thankful, man.
- 16:40Blessed. Who knows, There'd be a
- 16:42completely different path. I'm sure you'd still be doing
- 16:45incredible things, but just to think the difference a year
- 16:48makes, next year's A5 round draft, and I think they went to
- 16:5210 and then 20 after that. So just really insane stuff.
- 16:56All right, so you get picked by the Mets.
- 16:58What happens from there? Do you get sent down to Port
- 17:01Saint Lucie? At the time there was the
- 17:02Kingsport affiliate or did you go straight to Brooklyn?
- 17:06I went down to Port Saint Lucie for a few weeks and then I did
- 17:11get sent down to sent up to Kingsport, TN and that's where I
- 17:16got my like true first taste of pro ball.
- 17:19I did throw a couple innings in the Florida State League.
- 17:24But yeah, going up to Kingsport, I got my first true taste of
- 17:27like pro ball and what it was like.
- 17:28And, and then the competition was, it was, I thought LSUA was
- 17:34a grind, bro. Kingsport was a grind dog.
- 17:37And when I got there, I was like, you know what?
- 17:38I was prepared for this. I've never had like all the
- 17:42fancy gidgets and gadgets and resources and stuff.
- 17:44So like, I was, I felt comfortable.
- 17:46I was right at home, you know. Heck, you probably had an edge
- 17:50over a bunch of dudes when you're pulling up there and
- 17:52you're like this is nice and you're you're probably with
- 17:55dudes that went in the 1st 4 rounds that were at ACC schools
- 17:59that are like what is this shit hole?
- 18:01Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
- 18:03Man's crash, another man's treasury man.
- 18:06That was exactly what I was thinking.
- 18:08And did you finish out that rookie season in Kingsport, or
- 18:12did you have any other moves from there?
- 18:14Yeah, I finished that year in in Kingsport, Yeah.
- 18:17OK, so then going into the first pro offseason, where's the head
- 18:21at? Like where were you at coming
- 18:24off the year? Were you feeling good?
- 18:25How was the intro to pro ball? And then what was then the goal
- 18:29from there? Like what was your plan that
- 18:31first offseason? Being a 40th rounder, I knew how
- 18:34disposable I was, so I knew that I was going to have to show
- 18:38something, prove myself and flash some good stuff.
- 18:41So going into that offseason was just pretty much put on a few
- 18:45pounds, get stronger. Other than that was just
- 18:48compete, compete knowing that I'm not going to have as many
- 18:52opportunities as maybe the guys next to me.
- 18:55I have less room for error. There's less mistakes that I can
- 18:59make and get away with. That was when I developed or
- 19:02adopted the mindset of like perfection, just chasing
- 19:05perfection, you know, and, and, and not settling for anything
- 19:08less. You know what I mean?
- 19:09I could go out, put up a 0, but if I walk somebody, I was
- 19:14pissed. I could go put up a 0, but if I
- 19:16gave up two hits, I was pissed. I just wanted perfection and I
- 19:20think that, I mean, obviously you're not going to get
- 19:25perfection or be perfect all the time, but to be as close to it
- 19:29as I could was my main goal. Did that wear on you?
- 19:33I know we're jumping ahead a little bit, but that did that
- 19:36wear on you over time? Just trying to be perfect in
- 19:39such an imperfect game. Yeah, yeah, it definitely
- 19:42stressed me out a little bit sometimes, especially if you had
- 19:46like a couple of rough outings in a row that kind of strung
- 19:49together. But yeah, it did.
- 19:51But I think it helped me also, you know, to just not settle
- 19:55ever. Anything not settle for less
- 19:58than what I accepted. Right, Yeah, I know there's a
- 20:02fine line there because if you're chasing perfection,
- 20:05obviously there's no way you can ever become complacent.
- 20:08So you're you're overcoming complacency, but then you're
- 20:12fighting the potential demons of, well, what I do is never
- 20:16good enough. So then it becomes hard to
- 20:18celebrate the successes along the way.
- 20:20I was just curious how you wrestled with all of it.
- 20:22Yeah, I know. Yeah, definitely pat myself on
- 20:24the back, you know, give myself props and tell myself that I'm
- 20:27proud of myself. But I wouldn't ponder on it for
- 20:31too long. Yeah.
- 20:33Yeah. So that first offseason, then
- 20:36you're smacked with COVID. So after, after one year, you're
- 20:42already shoot, you're you're dealing with obstacles that you
- 20:45probably could have never fathomed gets cut as an
- 20:49affiliate. So then the Mets have mass
- 20:52player layoffs. I remember I, I know a guy that
- 20:55was one of your teammates, Corey Jaconi.
- 20:57Corey was training with us at the time and getting ready for
- 21:01his second year, had an awesome rookie year.
- 21:03I mean, he went up to Brooklyn and won the championship that
- 21:07that first year and pitched in the championship series in
- 21:10Brooklyn. And then a few short months
- 21:13later he's getting released. I mean, what?
- 21:16What was that like for you, knowing that the pink slip could
- 21:20have come and it would have been completely out of your control?
- 21:24Yeah, I'll be. I thought I was gone, dude.
- 21:27I thought I was out of there. I didn't think I was going to be
- 21:30around after that, but I was and it was, it sucked, like you
- 21:34said, because guys got banged and for something that was just
- 21:37completely out of their control and that was a tough year to see
- 21:44guys lose their opportunity over COVID.
- 21:47It was, it was tough, man. It was, wasn't wasn't great.
- 21:512020 is on the shelf for you entirely.
- 21:54Are you down in Nakatish? Where?
- 21:56Where are you at to train and just try to save this game?
- 22:00Yeah, I was down in Nakatish. I did go a little while without
- 22:04picking up a ball. I did like workout and stuff,
- 22:06but they go a little bit without, without throwing.
- 22:09Got back into it that summer. It was, it was hard because you
- 22:13didn't, you didn't know like when or if you were going back,
- 22:17how ready you had to be, how much time you would have.
- 22:20COVID was a different animal, man.
- 22:22It was, it was hard to navigate. We did end up going to an
- 22:25instructor at October. So we did have some time around
- 22:28coaches and and players and stuff like that to still be
- 22:31around the game and everything. But yeah, it was it was a tough
- 22:35year to here and just not knowing a bunch of what ifs.
- 22:39But hey, you, you made it. I know it's hard to look to your
- 22:42left and right and see guys that you form friendships with just a
- 22:47short year ago no longer be there next to you at that next
- 22:50spring training. But when you ultimately arrive
- 22:53at spring training 2021, how are you feeling?
- 22:57What's the mindset? Are you confident?
- 22:59And I guess that year, were you assigned to Brooklyn then at
- 23:03that point in 21? That year was a lot like the
- 23:07draft year in 2019. Just I knew that there was
- 23:12minimal mistakes that I could make.
- 23:14I knew that it was go time. This is the time to really just
- 23:18take off and just go off and go berserk and really struggle and
- 23:22put up some good numbers and, and really show you what you can
- 23:25do and all while keeping fun into the game. 2021 was the best
- 23:28year I had in pro ball. It was amazing.
- 23:31Put up some good stuff. It was insane.
- 23:35Actually. It was nuts.
- 23:37It was nuts. It was a long year, though.
- 23:39Very long year. Yeah, the most ball you've ever
- 23:41played, I'm sure. Doing a full professional
- 23:44baseball season for the first time.
- 23:46Yeah, then I went on to play in the fall League that October,
- 23:50November. Yeah, I didn't even know that
- 23:52you. So you played in the Arizona
- 23:53Fall League. Yeah.
- 23:55Yeah. I mean, that point you had to be
- 23:56thinking like, oh, I belong because I mean, that's where
- 23:59that's where the prospects go. Yeah, yeah, it was, it was that
- 24:02was a fun experience. That was nuts.
- 24:05And to see how my stuff played against like higher level
- 24:08competition was amazing too. Felt like I could breathe, you
- 24:14know, trying to prove myself, prove myself.
- 24:16And then went there, put up some flash, some good stuff.
- 24:19And like he was like a like a deep breath.
- 24:21It was nice. Was that the first time that you
- 24:24thought to yourself, all right, I'm not getting released?
- 24:28No, no. That was the first time that I
- 24:31was like, OK, I, I know I can pitch at the highest level, you
- 24:35know, not just low a high a AA, like I know I can pitch at the
- 24:39highest level and have success. So that was the like the first
- 24:43time that like real confidence kind of set in.
- 24:45The real like positive aha moment.
- 24:48Yeah, way better to be in that mindset than to be thinking
- 24:51about the negatives like I brought up.
- 24:53So good on you for that. 2021 for for the most part, like I I
- 24:58know it was a grind for you, but I mean, it was a breeze.
- 25:01It was walking the park. I mean, at that point, like
- 25:05there is not like major adversity.
- 25:07You haven't faced the injury bug.
- 25:09When did that pop up for you in 22?
- 25:11Or were there inklings of it in the offseason?
- 25:15No Went through the offseason clean and strong and healthy and
- 25:20then spring training come around, same thing.
- 25:22Felt good. I think it was like the first
- 25:24week at the camp broke in 22. We were playing in like 2030°
- 25:30weather dude. It was cold, raining, wet.
- 25:33It sucked. Conditions sucked.
- 25:35What affiliate were you at? I was in Binghamton and I had
- 25:39never played anything that cold before.
- 25:41Dude from the Deep South. Like I'm used to the heat.
- 25:44And then if it's if it's in the 50s, I'm cold.
- 25:48Like, you know, they're playing in 30° weather and it's raining
- 25:52wet dude. So playing in the cold was
- 25:54definitely a big shift for me. But yeah, there's a couple weeks
- 25:59in, I noticed that my my V low starting to drop a little bit.
- 26:04You know, it's cool, whatever, it's cold, you know, whatever.
- 26:07Then it starts to drop a little more and a little more and then
- 26:11the pain starts setting in. And then eventually it's like,
- 26:16hey, I can't straighten my arm out.
- 26:18Like I'm pretty sure this isn't normal.
- 26:20That's when the the bad thoughts started to creep in and kind of
- 26:24take over the brain after, you know, like I said, I was so
- 26:27confident and in a good positive place.
- 26:30And then that's when the bad thought I left the bad thoughts
- 26:34in. The 180° turn, that's so brutal
- 26:37coming off the high of 21 today, right at the start of 2022.
- 26:43You're in AA, you're climbing. You know, you're thinking like
- 26:47the world's my oyster, right? Like I got to seize this.
- 26:49Like I'm on the rise. Yeah, I was thinking, this is
- 26:52the year, this is the, this is the year we do it.
- 26:55And then, you know, baseball happened, right?
- 26:58It happens. Now let's get into the injury
- 27:02story. I I recognize how hard that is,
- 27:07like kind of riding that high to them being slapped in the face.
- 27:11But you, you obviously had this slow progression of injury.
- 27:15It wasn't like some people say, like they threw the pitch and
- 27:18explosion right there for you is like this slow creep that you
- 27:24had to deal with. And I'm sure to an extent that
- 27:26might be harder because every time you pick up a ball, you're
- 27:30you're beginning to question what's actually happening.
- 27:32Right. Yeah, it was, it was nuts, man.
- 27:35Like you said, it was gradual. I never felt, I never had the
- 27:38the blowout moments where I was like, oh, I felt it pop on that
- 27:42pitch or I felt it go on this pitch, You know, I never had
- 27:45that. It was kind of a gradual thing.
- 27:48Like I said my below is dropping and my control was I did not
- 27:53know where the ball was going. Just non existent.
- 27:56Just non existent. I had 0 control over the ball.
- 27:58I remember talking to one of the trainers and I was like, I think
- 28:03I need to get an MRI. They're like, you think so?
- 28:06I was like, yeah, I'd I'd sleep a whole lot better if just
- 28:09knowing. And so went to the local
- 28:13hospital, got an MRI. And the crazy thing is they were
- 28:16like, yeah, man, like UCL is good.
- 28:19Not even a grade one. Like you're fully intact.
- 28:23And I was like, really, You know, that shocked me because I
- 28:26was like, there's no way in the back of my head I know something
- 28:29was wrong. I was kind of denying it.
- 28:30But like, I, I kind of knew at the same time tried to PRP it,
- 28:34ended up going to HSS, getting a second opinion.
- 28:37They did see a small tear. So we tried to PRP it and just
- 28:42didn't work, man, which they told me like PRPS are 5050, you
- 28:46know, they work for some folks they don't.
- 28:47I was just trying to do everything to avoid surgery at
- 28:50that point. But then ultimately you had to
- 28:53bite the bullet and. Get the.
- 28:55Operation. So how much later from the
- 28:59instance of injury or from the instance of asking for the MRI,
- 29:03did you end up having to get the surgery?
- 29:05That happened in May. I got the MRI in May that year.
- 29:09I didn't have surgery till August, so it was a while.
- 29:13We tried everything, but just avoid surgery.
- 29:16Didn't work, Didn't work at all. Looking back, sometimes I wish I
- 29:20would have just went ahead and done it instead of wasting, you
- 29:23know, five months, six months or whatever.
- 29:26But but yeah, I had surgery that August and that was surgery #1.
- 29:33Right, TJ number one at that point, was it, was it TJ?
- 29:37Was it UCL repair? Yeah, it was the full
- 29:40reconstruction. OK, All right, full.
- 29:43Recon were you even informed of what the official like ligament
- 29:47tear was like what degree what the quality of the ligament was
- 29:52or is just like, Nah, we we can't get right, we got to get
- 29:54surgery. Yeah, I didn't really know the
- 29:56extent of the tear. I do know after, after the first
- 29:59surgery, talking with the docs, they were like, yeah, man, you
- 30:02were there. Like you were, you were pretty
- 30:03banged up in there. Like they said, it didn't look
- 30:06good. Like they're like, you
- 30:07definitely needed it. Like it wasn't anything you
- 30:09probably could have avoided. That made me feel a little
- 30:12better actually, knowing that it wasn't just for nothing I guess.
- 30:18Yeah, if you're if you're going to feel hurt, it's weird, but
- 30:23it's like probably better to find out that you actually are
- 30:26hurt. That would be tough to deal
- 30:28with. Like there's no way I'm the soft
- 30:30like this. Like if, if this if there's
- 30:34nothing wrong here. Like this is bad.
- 30:36Like I got to get right somehow. Yeah, yeah, that's that was my
- 30:40first thought, like, OK, especially when they told me
- 30:42that it wasn't torn. I was like, OK, then I don't
- 30:46know what's going like you're thinking like, I don't know,
- 30:48dude. The wheels returning, it was it
- 30:50wasn't good. Great.
- 30:51And then I'm sure you're questioning every single thing
- 30:53you do, like how you sleep, how you eat, what your mechanics.
- 30:56Are like the weight room stuff like, OK, well it's got to be in
- 31:00the weight room, like something I'm doing or not doing enough of
- 31:03or this or that. And dude, it was, I was
- 31:06stressing myself out bad trying to think about what it could be,
- 31:10you know? Yeah, well.
- 31:11You got the confirmation. I mean, unfortunately was the
- 31:14surgery, but you got the confirmation.
- 31:17And then I know rehab certainly wasn't the easiest thing because
- 31:25I mean, I definitely want you to get through the progression of
- 31:28this first rehab. But I'll kind of, I guess
- 31:34unveiled the the breaking news here.
- 31:37The rehab didn't go so hot and you had to get surgery again.
- 31:41So yeah, I had the first TJ in August and you going into it, I
- 31:45didn't know what to expect. You know, it's my first surgery
- 31:48ever. I didn't know what it was going
- 31:51to be like. And so, you know, I'm asking
- 31:52questions, talking to all my teammates who've had it before
- 31:55and everything, getting their advice and they're like, hey,
- 31:57bro. And the answer I kept getting
- 31:59was it's not fun. It's going to suck.
- 32:02Like it's terrible. You're going to wake up some
- 32:04days you're going to feel bad, like you're not going to feel
- 32:07good. It's going to be a while before
- 32:09you, you know, get some good momentum going.
- 32:11And so I understood, understood that part.
- 32:14The first few months were were, I don't want to say easy,
- 32:18easier. It was just kind of working on
- 32:20getting range of motion back, stuff like that, you know,
- 32:23strengthening the small muscles. And so that part wasn't wasn't
- 32:26bad. It was when I started to throw
- 32:30was when I knew something was wrong.
- 32:32So I started with the plyo ball routine for a few weeks before
- 32:37picking up a actual baseball and going into that they were like,
- 32:40hey, man, like it's probably going to hurt.
- 32:43Like it's not going to feel good.
- 32:44You might break up some scar tissue or something like so, you
- 32:48know, a couple weeks supply of went OK like I was I would get
- 32:51really sore. It would feel like I threw 100
- 32:54pitches, dude. But anyway, you know, power
- 32:56through it got got got through it got to the throwing stage.
- 32:59I'm at 60 feet, 60 feet was OK, like just lobbing the baseball.
- 33:04Nothing really crazy there. Got out to 75 feet was when I
- 33:08started to really notice something I would throw and just
- 33:12didn't feel good for lack of a better word.
- 33:15It just hurt. Like it really just hurt.
- 33:17You know, I would communicate that to the PT use and
- 33:20everything. And I would say like, hey, man,
- 33:23this doesn't feel good. And they're like, yeah, you
- 33:25know, like you're going to experience some pain throughout
- 33:28the process. Like it's a painful process.
- 33:30You know, it's normal. Kept going, kept going.
- 33:33Get out to 90. No, did I get out tonight?
- 33:35I don't think I made it out to 90 feet.
- 33:37And they got through for a couple weeks after that.
- 33:40And and that was when I kind of was like, hey, I know for a fact
- 33:45that I'm not supposed to be feeling like this, that this
- 33:48isn't normal. They thought it was the nerve
- 33:52that was causing all the pain. Cause just had surgery, right?
- 33:55They're like, there's no way it's the UCL.
- 33:57Yeah, it's got to be the nerve or something else.
- 33:59So, yeah, I wish it was the nerve, but yeah, man.
- 34:05Yeah, that was that was that was thinking back on it's.
- 34:08Just. That was just oh bro.
- 34:11All the work you did to get to that point for it to come
- 34:15crashing down. For it to come crashing down,
- 34:18dude, yeah. And then so went into HSS and
- 34:23we, we were going to schedule a nerve transposition surgery,
- 34:26whatever. So, you know, I'm in there with
- 34:28the doctor going through like the pre op meeting and stuff.
- 34:31And he asked the question that I knew he's going to ask, but, you
- 34:36know, hoping to avoid it, but guess you couldn't really.
- 34:39He's like, hey, man, if I go in there and worst case scenario,
- 34:44if it's worse than we think, do I have permission to, you know,
- 34:47fix it? You know, I was like, absolutely
- 34:50like, I want to come out of this healthy.
- 34:52And, you know, and so we like, they prep my leg and everything
- 34:56cuz that's where, if they needed to, where the ligament was going
- 34:58to come from. I went in there thinking, you
- 35:01know, really just not knowing what was going to happen, hoping
- 35:03and praying for just like move the nerve, get out of there and
- 35:06be all good. And then I woke up from surgery
- 35:10that immediately looked down at my leg to see, you know, and I
- 35:13saw that my leg was all wrapped up and I, I kind of knew at that
- 35:17point, like I just hit the reset button on DJ and I was, that was
- 35:24tough, man. That was tough.
- 35:26And that was what, like 5:00-ish, maybe six months into
- 35:31rehab? That was March, March 9th of
- 35:34that had surgery, that first one, that August, that March 9th
- 35:38of the next year I had it again. That was one of the hardest
- 35:41things I had to go through, man. Like in life period, you know,
- 35:44not just baseball. That was that was hard, dude.
- 35:46That was hard. Right.
- 35:48You begin questioning everything, I'm sure, because
- 35:51you're not just questioning your career at that point.
- 35:53You're questioning what even means anything to me.
- 35:57Like what am I doing? What's my purpose?
- 35:59I, I get it, Like I, I mean my experience, I'm not going to try
- 36:04to compare it to yours by anything by any means, but
- 36:06shoulder surgery retair, PRP, retair, PRP retair.
- 36:12Like I begin questioning my own identity, let alone my life as a
- 36:17player. Like this happened to me in
- 36:18college, not in pro ball, but I I feel like I can at least
- 36:23empathize with the situation that you're going through.
- 36:27And then, you know, the worst part of it was, you know, it's
- 36:29just nothing that I could have done to prevent it.
- 36:33I won't say his name, but the doctor did the first surgery.
- 36:36He didn't do a good job. And I wasn't the only one.
- 36:41He messed up. It was about 7 or 8 other
- 36:45players also. It was, it was just a tough
- 36:47situation, you know, cuz like I said, it was, it was inevitable
- 36:51for us to have it again. It was tough, dude.
- 36:55It was tough. He was spoken so highly of.
- 36:58Yeah. And then we trusted this guy,
- 37:00put our careers in his hands. And then for that to happen, it
- 37:03was, it was tough. It was a hard pill to swallow
- 37:05for sure. And to have to hit the reset
- 37:07button, dude, after putting in all that work was tough.
- 37:11It was tough, especially because, you know, have surgery.
- 37:14Then you set a, you set a end goal date, right?
- 37:17Look forward to getting to that date, that one year mark.
- 37:20Hitting the reset button was tough.
- 37:22It was tough. Maybe we'll step away from some
- 37:24of the emotion just for a minute and talk about about someone who
- 37:28I know was a key player in this process for you, and that's
- 37:32Carrie Lampkin. But this will be just like a
- 37:34brief break maybe from the the emotional toil of the
- 37:37conversation to talk about a guy who I know helped you a ton in
- 37:41the process. When were you introduced to
- 37:44Carrie? Was that during this first rehab
- 37:46or is that during the 2nd? And then I just love for you to
- 37:50kind of talk about your relationship with him and.
- 37:52Kind of what he's So I met Mr. Carrie when I was at LSUA.
- 37:58OK, Yeah, he, he had unlocked training performance and that
- 38:04came down to the school to do like some force plate testing,
- 38:07stuff like that with the players.
- 38:09And that's where I first met him.
- 38:10We hit it off right off the bat, you know, good dude.
- 38:13Like, man, that's such a good guy, bro.
- 38:15He'll he'll he'll do anything for you.
- 38:18So when I got drafted, he knew that I was going to need place
- 38:21to train and place to go. So he opened that door for me.
- 38:26And he's been a huge, huge blessing and in my life and my
- 38:30baseball career. And he's been in my corner since
- 38:33day one. Like I'm forever indebted to
- 38:36him. He's the man.
- 38:38He is the man. He cares so much, dude.
- 38:41And and you know, it's hard to find people like that.
- 38:43He's a big blessing for sure. What was he?
- 38:45Saying in the rehab, the first rehab, did you have any time
- 38:50with him during that first TJ or were you just in Port Saint
- 38:54Lucie for the entirety of it? No.
- 38:56So I guess I had surgery that August after I got my stitches
- 39:00out. I think it was like late
- 39:02September, October, you know, I got to go home and I spent some
- 39:05time down in Lafayette. I was going like 3 * a week into
- 39:09the clinic, but so it was very early on in the after in the
- 39:14rehab process. So like I wasn't throwing, I
- 39:16wasn't doing much. It was more just like I said,
- 39:18getting like range of motion back and stuff like that.
- 39:21So I was very strength. Training.
- 39:23The real, like, pain symptoms weren't really there yet because
- 39:26I wasn't like physically throwing a ball.
- 39:28So. But yeah, he was, he was.
- 39:29He was a big help. He was.
- 39:31He's the man who he's the man. The second one, he helped a
- 39:34whole lot. I got to spend more time there
- 39:37and actually like throwing and stuff like that during that
- 39:40second one versus the first one, Yeah.
- 39:42I know we wouldn't be talking today if it wasn't for Kerry.
- 39:45I mean, that was our connection because I know he he was
- 39:49interested early on in what we were doing with Flex Pro and he
- 39:53had been telling us about you, the story that you have and just
- 39:57the fight that you were on. And we were like, yeah, man,
- 40:00let's go. We got this.
- 40:01So I I know he's been great. He's been awesome to work with
- 40:04from our side, but you obviously have a completely different
- 40:07relationship with him than we do.
- 40:09So I just knew that man needed a shout out and needed some love
- 40:12on the. Podcast man.
- 40:13Absolutely, Absolutely. Mr. Curry's the man.
- 40:16Yeah. So you get the second surgery.
- 40:19Sorry sorry to go back to this but I.
- 40:23Guess that's. I guess that's what we have to
- 40:25do, right? You volunteered your services
- 40:27today, so we got to do it. But you get the second surgery.
- 40:31Obviously life kind of slapped you in the face again.
- 40:34It, it was the bad news that you didn't expect or maybe you had
- 40:40it in the back of your mind or something like that.
- 40:42But you look down, you see your leg from there.
- 40:46Do you just go home? Do you go back to Louisiana and
- 40:48just kind of like take some time to figure things out or, or your
- 40:52head out at that point? Yeah, I told them for my sanity
- 40:56I need to go home and be around family and and be in a good
- 41:00place. I need to get out of Saint
- 41:01Lucie. But yeah, dude, after that I
- 41:03went to a dark place. I went to a very lonely dark
- 41:07place to and it was, it was hard to navigate that and, and be
- 41:12positive. I didn't went to like I didn't
- 41:15talk to people for a while. I was just being a loner.
- 41:18I didn't want to see anyone. I just wanted to be alone, you
- 41:21know, And and it was it was hard, dude.
- 41:23It was hard to navigate. Yeah.
- 41:25It was hard to to to have the motivation to want to keep
- 41:29going. It was it was tough.
- 41:31How'd you find it? Man, really just knowing that
- 41:35like there's people out there that has it way worse and like
- 41:40people would the people would have killed from my situation
- 41:43and I had teammates that I was rehabbing alongside of that had
- 41:47it worse than I did. They were going through way
- 41:51worse situations than me. And to see them like go about
- 41:55their business and keep their head up and, and not complain
- 41:59and, and just put in the work. That's what really kept me
- 42:01going. Because if a guy next to me,
- 42:03he's got it worse than me, he's not complaining, he's not
- 42:06quitting, he's not hanging his head, then it would be
- 42:09disrespectful for me to do that. Initially, it sounds like the
- 42:14will to get back on the horse was even more extrinsic rather
- 42:18than an intrinsic. It took you seeing the drive
- 42:22from others for you to convince yourself that you could do it.
- 42:26Right. Yeah, yeah, 'cause there's a
- 42:28time. Yeah, there was, there was a
- 42:30point where I like I had been. So I've been away from the game
- 42:33for so long that I didn't even know if I still loved it.
- 42:36I didn't know if this is something that I still wanted to
- 42:38do. There was a point where I was
- 42:40like, hey, babe, let's have the goal be just to be a regular
- 42:43human being, to be able to play catch with your kids in the yard
- 42:47one day, to be able to just do normal everyday stuff again.
- 42:51Like not even just think about baseball.
- 42:53Like let's have that be the goal for right now.
- 42:55And eventually, and that was, you know, that was just the goal
- 42:58to just be normal, to be able to brush my teeth with my right
- 43:00hand again, reel and go fishing, dude.
- 43:04Like, you know, do normal stuff. That helped ease the pressure a
- 43:08little bit and then eventually along the way I did find that
- 43:12love for the game again and, and that fire and that passion
- 43:15because you know, like a competitor is a competitor, man.
- 43:17Like it's hard to bring take that away from a person.
- 43:20Was there a moment that you found that drive again, or was
- 43:23it just the slow exposure of like, hey, I can brush my teeth,
- 43:29that's awesome, What's next? Right.
- 43:31Yeah, I can cut. I can cut a steak.
- 43:34Like what's next? Right.
- 43:36Yeah, that's exactly how it happened.
- 43:37You know, it was definitely small baby steps and
- 43:41appreciating those small things like, oh dude, like I get to
- 43:45take the brace off today, I can go fishing.
- 43:47I remember the first day they told me I could go fishing.
- 43:51Dude it was the one of the best days.
- 43:53How long were you out? There all day, literally all
- 43:56day. It was an off day and I was
- 43:58there from probably sun up to sundown, but it was awesome.
- 44:01And like you said, like after that it was like, OK, what's
- 44:03next? Like then it's it's like
- 44:06throwing a ball and then it's 90 feet and then it's 100 feet and
- 44:10then eventually it's OK. I'm looking forward to that
- 44:13first bullpen mat, like first session, mound session after
- 44:17that, dude, it just came pouring back.
- 44:19I started to love where I was at, love what I was doing.
- 44:22And that passion came back very quickly.
- 44:25And I quickly realized that, you know what, I still love this.
- 44:27I still like doing this and still who I am.
- 44:30You know, it's like you said earlier, you question like your
- 44:33identity and who you are and, and stuff like that.
- 44:37Especially going through all that tough stuff and to be able
- 44:39to find that again was crazy. It was awesome.
- 44:42It was awesome. But I even know from here it
- 44:44wasn't all sunshine and rainbows on the second rehab.
- 44:48Like, you know, you got to a good place and you had a hiccup
- 44:51and then you're rebounding. You have another hiccup.
- 44:54Can you take us through some of those hiccups?
- 44:57Like, did you get back to the point of like, Oh yeah, I like
- 45:00we're dialed, I got this and then obstacle.
- 45:03Yep, that's exactly right. Yeah.
- 45:05I would feel good for a while and then I would have like my
- 45:09nerve would flare up or like my pulmonary would flare up.
- 45:12And then so I would get to a point where I'm feeling good and
- 45:15I'll get shut down from throwing for a week or two.
- 45:18And then at some point where it was longer, it was like 5 weeks,
- 45:216 weeks. And so I had hiccup after
- 45:24hiccup, set back after set back. And like I said, you had that
- 45:28end date, that goal set to work the day you want to be back.
- 45:32And that just kept getting pushed back and push back and
- 45:34push back. My goal was to have some innings
- 45:38in that 2024 season because I was my free agent year.
- 45:42I was like, man, I got to flash some stuff.
- 45:43Like, I got to show them that I can still play at the level I
- 45:47was or it better, you know, like, I have to show that I'm
- 45:50still that same guy. And so that window of
- 45:52opportunity to get back in games, we're getting shorter,
- 45:55shorter and shorter to eventually it wasn't there.
- 45:58They were like, hey, man, like, you're not going to be able to
- 46:00throw in games this year. Sorry.
- 46:01We're not going to push you just to show up in the game.
- 46:04And then something happened. Our goal is to get you healthy.
- 46:06And I understood it. And it was just, like I said, it
- 46:09was hard. But yeah, power of not giving
- 46:11up. Dude is so powerful that I
- 46:15really don't think a lot of people understand that how
- 46:19powerful it is. But yeah, it's it's it's more
- 46:22powerful than we can fathom do the power of not giving up is
- 46:25immense to. And then what do you credit?
- 46:28Is it just like whoever decided to give you a chance being a
- 46:33good person, but getting that next year?
- 46:36Because like you said, 2024 was your free agent year and you got
- 46:40signed for another year. You're you're getting to show
- 46:43who you are this year, which is awesome.
- 46:45How do you think that even came about?
- 46:48Dude, I have no idea. Just being a good person, like
- 46:52do you, do you like credit? Just being a good person and
- 46:55showing your integrity and character through rehab.
- 46:59Yeah, showing how I, you know, dealt with the whole thing.
- 47:02That and the good Lord, man, just bless.
- 47:05I mean it's some things I I can't explain and I feel like
- 47:08it's all right to not know the answers to everything sometimes.
- 47:11I I'm sure there was probably this feeling of surprise in the
- 47:17best way when you got the when you got the extension.
- 47:22Yeah, I would have to think like, I mean, I don't want to
- 47:25put thoughts in your head, but I would have to think you weren't
- 47:29expecting to get 2025 to show who you were.
- 47:33Yes and no. Yes, I always believed that I
- 47:36was going to get the opportunity, but I, I would have
- 47:39understood if I didn't. You know, it wasn't going to
- 47:43like, it wasn't going to like make or break me.
- 47:45But yeah, I was, I was, I was content with whatever happened,
- 47:48whether I got resigned or whether I didn't.
- 47:51I was, I was good with it because I was, I was proud of
- 47:54myself for just making it out of rehab.
- 47:56Remember that the day I got fully cleared off the IO, dude,
- 48:01I cried like a baby. I was so proud of myself for
- 48:05sticking it through and making it to the end.
- 48:08No matter what happened, sorry to interrupt.
- 48:09That was October 26th, I believe of 2024.
- 48:15I think that was the day I officially got cleared as fully
- 48:18healthy and and the tears were flowing through flowing.
- 48:22Man, I was so proud of myself because it was a lot to go
- 48:25through a lot. I was just proud to part of
- 48:29myself sticking through it and not giving up.
- 48:30Man, after that day, I was like, you know what?
- 48:33I'm I'm good with whatever happens.
- 48:35And then you finally got to go to camp as a healthy Brian
- 48:39Metwire. Yep, Yep.
- 48:42It was night and day, dude. I was smiling every day.
- 48:46You know, it was, it was nuts. It was.
- 48:49And how much fun were you having doing PF, PS and like?
- 48:53Doing most fun. Little things that most people
- 48:56hate. I used to dread PF PS I used to
- 48:58hate PF PS I used to hate like shagging for BP Yeah dude, I
- 49:04used to not like all that, but now they're like, I appreciate
- 49:07all of it. Like I said, 'cause you never
- 49:09know if it's the last time or is the small things matter so much
- 49:13more now it's. The grass smells different.
- 49:16The grass. Smells different, the food
- 49:18tastes different, like it's just no place I'd rather be bro is
- 49:22there? They're like a weird one.
- 49:24Like I know I joke about the grass.
- 49:26You said the food. Like is there legitimately one
- 49:29that you thought you would never actually enjoy that now when it
- 49:34happens you're just like, wow, this is the best stale hotel
- 49:38coffee. Oh, probably.
- 49:40Like I would say, oh man, that's a tough one.
- 49:44That's a good question. Maybe, maybe you'll ponder on it
- 49:47now I'll just have to text you in a week or so and we'll we'll
- 49:50attach that in there. But yeah, maybe maybe that'll be
- 49:53my challenge to you. Just like looking at looking at
- 49:56your career. Is there something that you
- 49:58never thought you would actually enjoy or something that would
- 50:01never make you happy that now it's just like when you see it,
- 50:05you smile? Yeah, I'm definitely.
- 50:07Yeah, I'm have to get back to you on that one.
- 50:10It's a bunch. It's a bunch.
- 50:12It's a bunch. I just got to narrow down my
- 50:14favorite. For sure.
- 50:16Well, I mean, dude, we, we've talked so much about the
- 50:19struggles, the past, the things that have kind of shaped who you
- 50:23are. I do want to ask one more kind
- 50:27of maybe more difficult question and then talk about the exciting
- 50:30times that you're going through now.
- 50:32So that last kind of more difficult question that you
- 50:36maybe have to figure out how to knife your way through.
- 50:40Do you feel you were able to find your identity again?
- 50:43Not just the joy of loving the game, but do you feel that in
- 50:47this process you've really figured out who Brian McGuire
- 50:51is? No, I haven't.
- 50:52I think I'm still in that process, haven't figured it out
- 50:55yet. And I think that's OK.
- 50:57I think it's going to be cool when it does finally click.
- 51:02But yeah, I think I'm still navigating that part, which is
- 51:05OK, but I do think about it everyday and ponder on and about
- 51:09who I am and and what I want out of this.
- 51:13But right now it's just day-to-day, literally
- 51:15appreciating everyday I get to go to the football field.
- 51:17But yeah, I'm still thinking about that one.
- 51:20Hey, take your time. People live lifetimes trying to
- 51:23figure out who they are, but the fact that you are even at a
- 51:27point where you can look at that and ponder the question
- 51:31positively instead of with a negative connotation, I I think
- 51:37just shows the evolution of who you are and how you've been able
- 51:41to digest everything that you've been through.
- 51:44Absolutely appreciate that man. Yeah, no problem.
- 51:48Heck, if you, if you ever want to have those conversations, let
- 51:50me know because I I definitely fought through it for a while.
- 51:53But thankfully, yeah, thankfully I feel like I came out of
- 51:57surgery and all that stuff better than who I was before.
- 52:02And I'm absolutely you feel the same.
- 52:04Absolutely. I think I learned more in rehab
- 52:06then I have my years of playing for sure.
- 52:10For sure Learned my body, learned myself.
- 52:13Still learning. It was a lot I had learned that
- 52:16I wouldn't have learned otherwise without going through
- 52:18that. Definitely some good to come out
- 52:20of it. A lot of good came out of it,
- 52:22actually. There we go.
- 52:24That's the tough stuff. Now, the fun and exciting.
- 52:27Dude, you're dealing this year. That's pretty cool.
- 52:30That's awesome. Awesome bro.
- 52:34It's such a good feeling. Yeah, I mean, just talk about
- 52:38being on the mound, man. Like, I don't really have too
- 52:40much of a question there. It's just like, not only are you
- 52:44playing again, knock on wood, you're playing pretty well.
- 52:47Yeah, dude, I remember the first time I got on the mound this
- 52:51year. First game backs from well, I
- 52:54had some spring training games, you know, but this is like my
- 52:56first like affiliated ball game. And you're back in Brooklyn,
- 53:00right? Back in Brooklyn, we're at,
- 53:02well, we're at Aberdeen. OK, but you're with the
- 53:05cyclones? With the cyclones, yeah.
- 53:08And dude, I was so nervous too. I was so nervous.
- 53:14But yeah, I think it was, it wasn't the the cleanest out.
- 53:17I think I did give up a run. But it was so fun to get back
- 53:20out there and and and play again, slap high fives when you
- 53:24walk back in the dugout. And it was just surreal, bro.
- 53:28It was surreal because like I didn't think I was going to get
- 53:30back there again, you know? And to do it was was amazing.
- 53:34And like I said, dude, I like I get butterflies already when I
- 53:37get on the mound. That day was so intense.
- 53:40I would come set, feel like my legs were shaking.
- 53:43I feel like I was. Trying not to block.
- 53:46Trying not to block, Dude, it was, it was nuts.
- 53:50I was, I was insane. And yeah, this year's been nuts,
- 53:53dude. Like it was, it's definitely 10
- 53:55times better than I could have dreamed in my head what it was
- 53:59going to be. Yeah.
- 54:01Just super thankful. Do you have a couple of outings
- 54:04right now that kind of stand out to you on the year?
- 54:07This is probably going to be a crappy question because the
- 54:09simple answer is, yeah, literally every outing feels
- 54:12like the best outing I've ever had just because I have this new
- 54:14lease on life. But are there are there outings
- 54:19that you can recall where it's just like, man, I threw that
- 54:22slider and I knew I'm back? Or like I I let that heater RIP
- 54:26through backdoor sinker and like, dude, yeah, like I'm back.
- 54:31Yeah, there was a few outings, dude, cuz it's like a curveball
- 54:35has been my bread and butter, right?
- 54:37That's that's been my pitch for forever.
- 54:40And early in the year was it wasn't there, you know, it
- 54:43wasn't snapping how I wanted to. I couldn't really locate it.
- 54:47I can't remember where we were. It might have been a home game
- 54:49actually. But dude, I let one RIP and it
- 54:53just felt like it felt like center of the club face 350
- 54:58yards down the fairway. It felt perfect.
- 55:01And then it like clicked that day and I was like, yeah, we're
- 55:04back. Like we're back.
- 55:06We're here. No one can touch me like I'm the
- 55:09best in the world type of thing. Like it was amazing.
- 55:12It's a good feeling. I know you're not too much of A
- 55:14metric guy, so maybe you cover your ears for this when I share
- 55:17it for the audience, but Brian's ripping the Breakers over 3000
- 55:21RPMS, guys, so this thing has some serious bite to it.
- 55:26Yeah, I don't even know if you know that, but like, that's
- 55:29good. Yeah, I get, I get told every
- 55:31now and then how much it's spinning.
- 55:33Yeah, for the longest I didn't know what was the first time
- 55:37someone told me like, dude, you threw that 3000 dude.
- 55:40I'm like, is that good? What is that?
- 55:43That's a that's a good place to be living Ignorance is bliss can
- 55:47be a very peaceful spot to be. Dude, yeah, you know, I'm like,
- 55:51bro, is that good? Like, OK, cool, let's keep doing
- 55:54it, man. All right.
- 55:56So separate from some of the baseball stuff, what are what
- 55:59are a few of the things that you've enjoyed now being back at
- 56:03affiliate? Yeah, I know it's kind of like
- 56:04the question that I asked earlier, but is it as simple as
- 56:08just being back in the locker room and like being with the
- 56:11guys again? Being with the boys, man,
- 56:13there's, there's nothing like it.
- 56:15There's nothing like being with the boys, you know, and just the
- 56:18camaraderie of everything. You know, like you said, the
- 56:21relationships you build and, and being with the team and knowing
- 56:24that you're all grinding together like you're not alone
- 56:26in it. Everyone's behind you supporting
- 56:28you. Everyone knows what you've been
- 56:29through. You know, everyone wants to see
- 56:31each other do well and it's just amazing, dude.
- 56:35Like to have that group of guys in your corner the way they are
- 56:38and, and it's nuts. It's awesome.
- 56:41Did you know that going to Binghamton was in the cards this
- 56:44year? Was that part of the player plan
- 56:46when you were going out? Like, hey, like ideally we want
- 56:49to get you to AA this year. Or was that a complete surprise
- 56:53when you got the promotion? I had no idea.
- 56:56I was hoping to start here at the in the beginning of the
- 56:59season fair. You know, I didn't
- 57:01unfortunately, but got to go to Brooklyn, which is a place, my
- 57:04favorite place to play, which is awesome.
- 57:06I was for, for lack of a better word, going off in Brooklyn.
- 57:10And so I kind of knew it was coming.
- 57:12And yeah, that was been my whole goal really since this year, was
- 57:17to get back to the bingo, at least where it all stopped, I
- 57:20guess not started where it stopped at, you know, getting
- 57:23back to that point. For sure, and I know now it's
- 57:26hard to look forward when you've now found this incredible place
- 57:30where you can just live in the moment and be so thankful for
- 57:33every day and enjoy what the game brings you.
- 57:36But are there any goals now that you have set for yourselves or
- 57:41objectives that you're trying to reach, whether it be for the
- 57:44rest of this season or as you look forward in your career?
- 57:47Not really, no. No goals.
- 57:49Just kind of let the chips fall while they fall and, and and get
- 57:52to the show. I mean, get to the show, baby.
- 57:55That's it. Do what you can every day to
- 57:58make the dream a reality. That's it, that's it.
- 58:01Get better. Don't let the bad beat you down
- 58:03too much. Know that it's going to happen,
- 58:06but handle it how you're supposed to.
- 58:09Thank you so much for your time today, Brian.
- 58:11I really do appreciate you getting vulnerable sharing your
- 58:14story. Hopefully this changes the
- 58:17mindset of someone or is able to impact someone is, as you know,
- 58:22Tommy John effects so many people.
- 58:24That's why we do this. We're just trying to build the
- 58:26community and tell people's stories.
- 58:29Right, for sure man. Absolutely appreciate you for
- 58:31having me though. Of course you're getting to
- 58:34talk, bro. That was awesome.
- 58:36Of course. Man, it's been a pleasure and I
- 58:38look forward to following you the rest of the way.
- 58:40Good luck as you finish this season out and holding out hope
- 58:45that maybe we can make another jump up.
- 58:48Hey all, he's going to happen. Control is what you can control.
- 58:52So just keep crushing it every single day, man.
- 58:55I'm proud of you. Thanks baby dog, I appreciate
- 58:57you my guy. All right.
- 58:59And to all the listeners out there, thanks for laying back
- 59:01with us.