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The Plotties 2023 with Carla and Emily - We Rank the BEST and WORST Smuts We Read this Year! · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

• 0:00
  Hi friends, you're listening to Lose the Plot with Carla and
• 0:03
  Emily. Welcome to the 2023 Plotties,
• 0:06
  the episode where we round up the books we read this year and
• 0:10
  give out our picks for the prestigious Plotties Awards.
• 0:24
  The. We would like to extend a huge
• 0:58
  thank you for following and supporting our podcast this
• 1:00
  year. We appreciate every rating,
• 1:02
  comment, and DM that you send us.
• 1:04
  If you're not already, follow us so that you don't miss an
• 1:07
  episode, and check out our TikTok Loser Plot Podcast.
• 1:10
  Because we're talking about a lot of books that we read in
• 1:13
  2023, I thought I better quickly just read out a list of all of
• 1:17
  the books we read so that, you know, there might be spoilers.
• 1:22
  Potential spoiler Alette. Tis the season for revenge.
• 1:27
  Morgan, Elizabeth. Consider me Becca Mack.
• 1:29
  Archer's Voice Mia Sheridan. The Marriage Effect Carla
• 1:33
  Sorenson. Daisy Jones and the 6th Taylor
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  Jenkins Reed Credence Penelope Douglas.
• 1:38
  Twisted Love Anna Huang. Priceless Miranda Silva, The
• 1:41
  Stopover TL Swan Grounded Kristen Mulligan Haunting
• 1:45
  Adeline HD Carlton. It happened one summer.
• 1:48
  Tessa Bailey, Praise Sarah Kate Dunn and Dusted.
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  Lila, Sage, Pen pal JT Geisinger, Trist 6 Venom
• 1:55
  Penelope Douglas, 4th Wing Rebecca Yaris Butcher and
• 1:59
  Blackbird Brynn Weaver. Unhinged Vera Valentine, Dena
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  Vipers KA Knight Hooked Emily McIntyre the pucking Wrong guy.
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  CR Jane Woo. That's.
• 2:11
  So much I know what is wrong with us.
• 2:13
  No, I. The clarity you read, you're
• 2:17
  not. Clarity.
• 2:20
  The Clarity. Wow, dude, we've got a lot of
• 2:23
  fun categories. I can't wait.
• 2:26
  I'm excited. You excited?
• 2:27
  I'm excited. You've whooped I'm.
• 2:29
  Whooped as doesn't make sense. Whooped as.
• 2:35
  All right. So first category, we have most
• 2:39
  incompatible couple. Okay.
• 2:41
  My most incompatible incompatible.
• 2:45
  My, my most incompatible couple is the Stopover.
• 2:51
  I can't remember who wrote the fucking book.
• 2:53
  It was a trash book, and that girl deserves better.
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  Wow. So we've got Jameson and oh.
• 3:01
  I need my CHEAT SHEET. He was just toxic.
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  He was abusive. I'm pretty sure this is the one
• 3:06
  where he told his ex-girlfriend to fly high and I'm like, Oh my
• 3:09
  God, yeah, like as if she was dead.
• 3:11
  She was. She's not dead.
• 3:13
  She's at home on her couch. Calm down.
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  I'm pretty sure this was Jameson, Jay, James, James.
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  I'm pretty sure that was him. Jimmy, James and James.
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  Jimmy. James is by far the worst male
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  character I've ever read in my life.
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  There's something about older women riding men.
• 3:37
  My. Eyes were just darting side to
• 3:40
  side. I was like, oh, oh, you.
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  Were like, where's this? I'm not.
• 3:43
  Ready to be cancelled? No, no, no.
• 3:46
  I most of them can do it. I mean this one.
• 3:48
  I sleep but they go, they don't go hot toxic, they go full blown
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  abusive toxic and they it's not sexy.
• 3:56
  He was trash. Wow, my CHEAT SHEET doesn't even
• 3:59
  have the characters. Names because it was trash.
• 4:04
  OK, what part of it do you think made them incompatible just
• 4:08
  because she deserved better or? Yeah, doubling down that, Yeah,
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  Yeah. That, I think, was like her
• 4:18
  boss. And he used that to his
• 4:20
  advantage. Yeah, that's right.
• 4:21
  Threatened her job. I'm pretty sure he's.
• 4:23
  Giving Christian Gray. But in a bad way.
• 4:26
  The bit that I remember about that book, my favorite bit is
• 4:29
  when he's just running through Central Park getting.
• 4:31
  Hit by a car. If only he just got hit again
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  if. At least the person did the
• 4:38
  right thing, just drove right up.
• 4:40
  But like why? Is there a car in Central Park?
• 4:43
  Whoa, who? Founds man.
• 4:44
  Attractive. And why go to therapy?
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  It's not OK. I'm pretty sure that was one of
• 4:51
  my picks. Oh, we love a billionaire
• 4:53
  romance. Don't.
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  We it was, it was just remember you thought it was like a mile
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  to have sex in the plane and they didn't even have sex in the
• 5:01
  plane. They had sex in the hotel after.
• 5:03
  Yeah. Just imagine how quickly I lost
• 5:05
  my boner, the fact that what are all these books?
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  They're promising things that they do not give.
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  I know. If you're putting an airport and
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  a plane or some shit in the background, I'm going to assume
• 5:16
  you're fucking on the plane. Come on now.
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  You told me he could not. Afford a private plane.
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  He's the worst billionaire ever. Dot dot dot.
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  Actually, it wasn't the weird. Thing with the scarf, I don't
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  even remember at this point of what?
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  Didn't someone leave a scarf at the hotel and they just kept
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  that? I think that was it just.
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  Gets worse and worse. I think that's a reference to
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  Taylor Swift taking Jacob, no Jacob, Jake Gyllenhaal, Scott
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  this. Is like he's too old to know
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  Taylor Swift, right? Oh.
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  No. I'm going for.
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  Rihanna ages and popped off today.
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  Yeah, I'm going for Renee Rapp on this bitch.
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  All I can remember was, I'm pretty sure he was the one with
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  the crystal clear baby blue eyes or something that they kept
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  talking about. And they kept referencing weird
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  blue colours. Yeah.
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  I remembered too much. OK, there's a bit of a blurb for
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  this book. The Stopover.
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  He was suave and intelligent, yet he's running around getting
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  hit. By cars.
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  Inside. The.
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  Park Where's? The intelligence and where's the
• 6:21
  suave and? Wasn't he running from the cops
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  at the stage 'cause he was? So how's?
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  That suave I. Feel like his pants fell down.
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  Oh, she's running around Central Park.
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  I can't deal the good. Part of Central Park.
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  I'm assuming that's why he only got hit.
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  Lightly. Just tell a kid like little Buff
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  right here. Didn't he hit the windshield?
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  You're. Not good enough?
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  Yeah, fuck. Jameson, James, Jimmy J.
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  There were so many variations. Just throw adjacent in there.
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  Oh. Shit.
• 7:07
  All right, so that's nicely done.
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  Most incompatible couple the name the nameless couple from
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  the story on that. We don't even remember their
• 7:14
  information. We just know enough that they
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  were trash. We know enough.
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  We've had enough. We've had.
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  Enough of these men. All right.
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  OK, heat. It up, Carla.
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  Let's go let's. Go, you got it.
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  Most incompatible couple Patrick and Christina from Priceless by
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  Miranda Silva oh. Yeah, yeah.
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  OK. First of all, let's.
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  Get to the point. Where do you have to pay her?
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  Literally. They.
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  Started their relationship because he literally paid for
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  her sexual services. Need I say more?
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  Not only. Did he pay for it?
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  He had to save the cash. He didn't even.
• 7:51
  Have the money he had to save up his pocket money.
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  And they didn't even enjoy each other's company.
• 7:59
  And then they did all that weird music shit.
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  Oh, it was so weird. He spent pretty much 80% of the
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  book staring out of a window a la Bella Swan New Moon, right?
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  With Simon and Garfunkel song playing on repeat.
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  And he was thinking about his Milfy ex.
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  Manual. Traumatized and you're trying to
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  tell me they were compatible, you know?
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  Where he should have spent that money?
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  Where? On a therapist.
• 8:26
  Duh. This podcast is sponsored by
• 8:29
  Better Helm. No, literally not.
• 8:31
  It's not if at. Any point your boyfriend is
• 8:35
  thinking about their old lady girlfriend from another country
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  your age? Is almost really popping off
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  today. It's.
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  That first book? It really pissed me off.
• 8:48
  The work police are going to get ya.
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  No, no, she was trash. We're allowed to be mad at trash
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  people, OK? And he's listening to the same
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  song. I repeat, and then forces to you
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  listen to that song, dump his ass and date anyone else.
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  And. Look, honestly, there's a reason
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  why he couldn't have just approached her for a friend with
• 9:10
  benefits. Because he's fucking insane.
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  But then she was like, I would have done it anyway, but can we
• 9:16
  just appreciate? Get your bag, girl.
• 9:18
  Yeah. Get it?
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  The only thing I can appreciate about this book is that she.
• 9:22
  Paid her bills. Literally cost of living crisis
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  over here. So that's all we care about is
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  the man actually provided question mark.
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  He brought something to the table.
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  Question mark. The bare minimum question.
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  Mark. But it's like they didn't.
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  Even like each other at all. Yeah, they.
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  Shouldn't have ended up together?
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  Incompatible as fuck Who? Thinks of these couples I.
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  I don't. Know there's no reason.
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  Like just go get way. Explanation from every author
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  ever on the Romance category, where they have no tension, no
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  spice, no compatibility of why they thought this could work.
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  Most of the time they don't. Probably in like at least half
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  of the books we read, they didn't need a reason to be
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  together, They just did because they were having sex.
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  That's not a good. Enough reason.
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  I. Feel like we just need to
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  broaden our horizons. My mouth is gaping open like.
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  Honestly, it's our own fault, but I didn't like where you
• 10:31
  didn't pick the. Book look your.
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  Books are fucking popular, OK? They're.
• 10:35
  Popular. I'm starting to trust No 10.
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  Obviously if you scored a 5. Stars, you can't be trusted.
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  Yeah. Let's move on to our second
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  exciting category, which is Best Couple to help offset the
• 10:50
  disappointment from the last category, Emily's Pick.
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  Grounded. Amelia and Theo Yes, from
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  Grounded. OK, yay.
• 11:01
  So no one has read this book. It's a note.
• 11:05
  It's technically a red flag, but it has no red flags.
• 11:09
  So it's step siblings. But they didn't spend their
• 11:13
  childhood together or any of their adulthood, so they never
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  actually spent any time except two weeks.
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  So it's fine. It's OK We don't need to
• 11:22
  question me about it. This man has no red flags.
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  He was the nicest person. Exactly.
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  He. Looked after her.
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  She had no red flags. Snaps with the old.
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  Snaps with the old. We love a non.
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  Problematic King They didn't. There was no problems.
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  It was. Consent King.
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  Amazing. Compatible.
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  It wasn't icky to read. No, there was no egg there.
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  Was no egg, There was. Consent.
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  There was love. There was communication.
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  They didn't. Have to be together because they
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  were fake married? No, no.
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  It was just like their choice. It was their.
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  Choice. They were willing and.
• 11:59
  Happy to be fair on occasion. You need a palate cleanser book
• 12:03
  where it's kind of sane and I think grounded is a good one.
• 12:06
  You. Always want to read books for
• 12:08
  the drama, but this one is good. There's no drama, It's a.
• 12:11
  Good one for in between. If you're in between dark
• 12:14
  romances and you just want to live life a little bit, yeah.
• 12:17
  Just have a happy moment, yeah. This is the one for you to.
• 12:20
  Stop assaulting your own brain, yeah.
• 12:23
  Sometimes your brain needs to be reminded that things are normal.
• 12:26
  Sometimes. Yeah, I think that's a fun
• 12:29
  holiday read. Yes, nice work.
• 12:32
  All right, so my pick for best couple Clementine and Luke from
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  Dun and dusted by Lila Sage I. Love it.
• 12:42
  Of course, somehow, deep down, I'm a sucker for friends to
• 12:46
  lovers. What a little.
• 12:48
  Bit of a cowboy what? Exactly.
• 12:51
  Yeah, a cowboy. Flavour, but a slow burn that
• 12:55
  isn't Insta. Love and it's respectful.
• 12:59
  Yes, Luke. He used to be a bit of a player,
• 13:01
  but not in the way that I've banged 800 women.
• 13:04
  He was just like a local, slightly bad boy, but not like a
• 13:07
  complete manhole. Yeah, not disgusting.
• 13:09
  Yeah, not disgusting. He didn't have women coming at
• 13:12
  him left right center all the time.
• 13:13
  No, I don't think there was any jealous women.
• 13:16
  Nothing. It was good.
• 13:18
  And their relationship was so cute, 'cause they were
• 13:21
  reconnecting as adults. And it was that slow burn, and
• 13:25
  you believed it. And there was tension and there
• 13:27
  was chemistry. And he wasn't madly toxic for
• 13:30
  zero reason. They were just a bit worried
• 13:32
  about her brother being his best friend.
• 13:34
  Yeah, and that gave me a little bit of a, but not like a.
• 13:37
  Huge. Like a little bit of drama.
• 13:39
  Yeah, a little. Bit, he turned.
• 13:40
  The. Dial up a little bit to like
• 13:42
  medium sizzle. Yeah, yeah, this one's awesome.
• 13:46
  This. One's also a pallorous
• 13:48
  refresher. Oh.
• 13:49
  Yeah, for sure. Yeah, that's kind of it.
• 13:51
  And he wasn't a complete psycho with no emotion.
• 13:54
  So on that level, yeah, down for Luke Brooks.
• 13:58
  Down snaps. Even though he sounds like a
• 14:01
  small town country singer. We love a small town country
• 14:05
  cowboy. Yep, But Clementine had a bit of
• 14:08
  a character. She didn't just have a tragic
• 14:11
  back story. She made choices for her life.
• 14:13
  And I was like a woman in a book making choices for her own life.
• 14:16
  Yes, we love we. Love.
• 14:19
  And they're not only in it just for the man, Yeah, a lot of the
• 14:22
  time they're just for the male character.
• 14:24
  Character. Yeah, they're just offsetting
• 14:26
  the male character. That's it.
• 14:27
  Yeah, she had a reason to be there.
• 14:29
  That was good. OK, so next we've got worst
• 14:33
  villain. It is me and Peter from Hooked.
• 14:40
  Wait, it's. Me and Peter.
• 14:42
  It's me and Peter. Wait.
• 14:43
  Which one was Peter? Peter.
• 14:45
  Was the. Oh yeah, yeah.
• 14:46
  One, they were the most useless fucking villains.
• 14:50
  They literally did nothing. What was the point of them
• 14:52
  besides being little placeholders for one page?
• 14:56
  And it's just fair What? What did they even do?
• 14:58
  Smith. Smith told them his grand plan
• 15:02
  and then got shot in the head a bit.
• 15:05
  I. Know like what a waste of time
• 15:07
  I'm. Like, which I do.
• 15:08
  I just read all these pages. If we were thinking, you know
• 15:11
  what? And then I had another one, but
• 15:13
  it was last year, but we didn't do this last year.
• 15:15
  Fair enough. And it was things we never got
• 15:17
  over. It was her ex-boyfriend that
• 15:19
  showed up. It got punched in the face in
• 15:21
  the lap. He.
• 15:23
  Was just there to make old mate jealous.
• 15:25
  Yeah, but for two seconds? Yeah, but they're just useless.
• 15:29
  Peter Michaels was. Just a bad dad.
• 15:33
  But he was just psychotic. Even.
• 15:36
  Fucking Tinker was psychotic, but I was psychotic.
• 15:39
  He was just. There to make hook look better
• 15:41
  in comparison to make hook into the good guy, the.
• 15:44
  Whole thing with Peter in this book was so Cook could fuck
• 15:47
  Peter. He.
• 15:50
  Lost. Such a shit villain, though,
• 15:51
  because, like, what does he even want?
• 15:54
  There was never a point where you were like, we know what he
• 15:56
  wants, yeah. What did he want?
• 15:58
  What did he want? What?
• 16:00
  Did he want? What did he want?
• 16:01
  What Did we know what Smee wanted?
• 16:03
  Yeah, but. But.
• 16:04
  There was no. He literally.
• 16:06
  Kidnapped her and then he got shot in the head.
• 16:09
  But the lot. OK, so my one of my number one
• 16:11
  worst parts of the book to read is or a movie is when the stupid
• 16:16
  villain is doing their big dialogue about why they're doing
• 16:18
  what they did and they're revealing themselves and it's
• 16:21
  supposed to be a big twist and it's like, no one cares me, no.
• 16:23
  One cares, it's so. Boring.
• 16:24
  Wow. He.
• 16:25
  Killed your pedophile dad. Oh, your.
• 16:28
  Dad, who was his uncle? Yeah, what?
• 16:30
  A shame. Good.
• 16:30
  Riddance. What a shame.
• 16:32
  You should be. Glad that he killed him.
• 16:34
  You should give him money would. You kill your own dad if he was
• 16:37
  a pedophile, yes. I would serve him up to the
• 16:42
  police. Are you kidding?
• 16:44
  Exactly. It's me.
• 16:45
  Your whole back story doesn't add up it.
• 16:47
  Doesn't make any sense the. Math ain't math and all that one
• 16:50
  Goyle. Just.
• 16:51
  Track just live your life like. The smartest thing so.
• 16:59
  Confused. You're just like.
• 17:01
  The. Smartest thing this man ever did
• 17:03
  was just buy a clock. You know what he could have
• 17:06
  done? The best thing he could have
• 17:08
  done as a villain, yeah, was one day he just filled the entire
• 17:11
  boat with clocks everywhere, literally in hidden places on
• 17:16
  the wall under the floorboards, and then just left that he put a
• 17:21
  spiral so quickly. And that would have been.
• 17:24
  All you needed. Yeah, he was a very just just a
• 17:27
  non villain. Don't reveal him and then kill
• 17:29
  him immediately. What was the point?
• 17:31
  Worst villain, My pick. This may be a hot take.
• 17:37
  It's The Bad Guys from 4th Wing by Rebecca.
• 17:41
  Garris because I. Fucking forget who they are.
• 17:44
  Every. Time.
• 17:45
  The. Fucking watch.
• 17:46
  Mccorms. Venom, Venom, Venom.
• 17:50
  OK. I only remembered this because I
• 17:53
  read Iron Flame this. Week.
• 17:55
  Oh, OK. But in fact, if we read the we
• 17:58
  spoke about this two weeks ago, I wouldn't have a fucking clue
• 18:01
  either, OK, We. Spent the entire book thinking,
• 18:04
  OK, there's I guess there's Griffin writers out there and
• 18:07
  there's probably other baddies out there, but truly, Dane was
• 18:11
  the enemy. Sorry, who cares about the
• 18:14
  venom? You weren't in it the whole
• 18:16
  time. There was no tension throughout
• 18:17
  the whole book. I'd be just they're holding my
• 18:19
  books with my little backpack, going to Dragon school, being
• 18:22
  like. This.
• 18:24
  Isn't like Harry Potter where Voldemort's lurking in the back
• 18:27
  of your mind every minute of every day?
• 18:30
  I was like Benin. Who?
• 18:32
  Who? I'm not scared.
• 18:34
  Of Benin. I don't.
• 18:35
  Even know what it is. Come on, Rebecca, I did.
• 18:39
  Benin. Improve in the second book,
• 18:41
  yeah. They became a massive problem.
• 18:45
  OK, so in fourth wing itself, I was like, I'm cruising you're.
• 18:48
  Cruising. They're not a thing, but in Iron
• 18:50
  Flame you would not in fact be cruising.
• 18:52
  But it's fine, OK. I haven't read that yet, but.
• 18:55
  You're right. If that was the one and only
• 18:57
  book and she didn't run another one, it'd be the good ones are.
• 19:00
  Fucked. I I know they kind of popped off
• 19:03
  at the end, but I at that point I thought they were the baddies.
• 19:06
  The good ones. Yeah, I was like the dragon
• 19:08
  riders of the problem. And these Griffin people are
• 19:11
  just trying to defend their own lens.
• 19:12
  The end I never. Thought the Griffin Flyers were
• 19:15
  one ever a problem? Yeah, they were never a problem.
• 19:18
  They were. Never a problem.
• 19:19
  Who's the villain? Like, who am I supposed to get
• 19:21
  off you? Tell me they go to school to
• 19:23
  train, to fight Griffin Flyers. Yeah, but Griffins are half the
• 19:27
  size. Yeah.
• 19:29
  They can't even go in the fucking air because they get
• 19:31
  dizzy from heights. Yeah, it's like.
• 19:34
  Flying Guinea pigs. And then we're supposed to be
• 19:37
  like, Oh no, the huge massive Dragons that spit flame
• 19:40
  everywhere can't get go up against the flying Guinea pigs.
• 19:44
  What? We're on the wrong side of
• 19:47
  things, Rebecca. You should be riding from the
• 19:49
  venoms perspective because they're the underdogs.
• 19:53
  What the fucks going on roast me about it.
• 19:56
  I don't care. Like I just didn't read it
• 19:58
  properly. I don't know.
• 19:59
  No. You know what?
• 20:00
  Fuck. It I'm doubling down.
• 20:01
  I'm not taking you back. Ever.
• 20:02
  I. Don't care if they get better in
• 20:03
  the second book, I'm had the time to read.
• 20:05
  They're trash in this one. Yeah, they're just there's no
• 20:08
  tension. Okay, there's none.
• 20:10
  We love a good sexual tension between weird Voldemort people
• 20:15
  and you. Know exactly.
• 20:17
  We need that Voldemort tension. You know when he's on the green
• 20:20
  screen and it's like a Pantene ad and his robe is flowing?
• 20:23
  That's what I need to. Be thinking about at all.
• 20:25
  Times. Well, I'm scared at Hogwarts,
• 20:28
  like he's sneaking into the castle.
• 20:33
  Why have I just got oh, I have an honorable mention for worst
• 20:39
  villain just just squeezed in there.
• 20:42
  Just. Wizzled in It's Ava's dad from
• 20:46
  Twisted Love by Anna Huang. Because, OK, because he OK.
• 20:52
  At the end, he reveals I'm not your biological father.
• 20:55
  I'm just your stepdad. Like, And also not only that,
• 21:00
  when old mate Alex Volkov is interrogating him, he just
• 21:05
  reveals everything. He's like, yeah, I tried to kill
• 21:08
  you. It wasn't your mom And his face
• 21:09
  twisted to be a creepy mask. It was very cartoon like and I
• 21:14
  was just like, wait. Why?
• 21:16
  Is he the bad guy? Out of all of this?
• 21:19
  It was the most. Needed owner.
• 21:21
  Just his owner, but. Why would you admit all that
• 21:24
  when her boyfriend's in a facility where it's obviously
• 21:27
  going to be recorded? Why?
• 21:29
  Do anything. Her boyfriend's clearly
• 21:30
  psychotic, too, Like you're telling me I need a stop.
• 21:36
  I need one of them rubber bands, I'm going to say on a just
• 21:40
  again. And I don't mean to.
• 21:42
  I don't mean to just. Say it.
• 21:47
  This fucking old ass man who could probably barely walk is
• 21:51
  acting like give. It to him he can do a.
• 21:54
  Single thing. Why her literal psychotic
• 21:58
  boyfriend goes around killing people like no time if.
• 22:07
  I if some. Old man looked at me like that.
• 22:10
  He said all them things and was like, I'd just be like, wow,
• 22:14
  I'll just push you down the stairs.
• 22:15
  I'm not your. Real dad, like I tried to kill
• 22:17
  you. OK, well, you can't use the
• 22:19
  elevator now. Good luck getting out of the
• 22:21
  building. Good.
• 22:22
  Luck with the retirement home. Don't choke on your mat.
• 22:25
  Put. A wheelbarrow.
• 22:27
  And just tip him. Into a little ditch and see how
• 22:29
  he goes. Did he just?
• 22:32
  The thing is, she had a brother with him still alive.
• 22:34
  Yeah. So what does he think's going to
• 22:36
  happen when you? Revealed you tried to kill her.
• 22:37
  Do you think the brother's going to side with her?
• 22:40
  The brother's best. Friend her.
• 22:41
  Boyfriend. Exactly.
• 22:43
  Idiot. Idiot.
• 22:46
  So anyway, I just thought he was the worst villain ever.
• 22:48
  I. Just woke up and I chose to hate
• 22:51
  old people. Today.
• 22:54
  Dude, we're going to be old people one day.
• 22:57
  I know. And then I'll hate.
• 22:59
  Myself then. And I will be.
• 23:01
  The problem, and I'll be aware I can't.
• 23:03
  Wait. All right, handing it over to
• 23:05
  you. Now we've got best.
• 23:07
  Villain, OK? So who made you Quakey in your
• 23:11
  little socks? It's.
• 23:12
  Going to be harsh, pen pal, but the ex-boyfriend.
• 23:17
  But. Because, yeah, Because he killed
• 23:20
  them. Like I would kill him too if.
• 23:28
  I had to listen to Bunny or my lion or.
• 23:32
  Fight. Club one more time.
• 23:34
  I'd kill him too. So he had.
• 23:37
  Was it schizophrenia? He had.
• 23:39
  Something, he thought. They were still married, so he
• 23:42
  thinks that she's cheating with this bloke and.
• 23:44
  Thought they was stealing his math equations.
• 23:48
  Fucks me what you're going to do with a math equation.
• 23:50
  OK, Big Bang. All right, legitimate.
• 23:55
  Nothing would get my jimmies in A twist more than my current
• 23:58
  wife, who's also cheating on me stealing my fucking math
• 24:01
  equations. Make your own bitch.
• 24:04
  Fucking. Stealing my intellectual
• 24:05
  property one. Plus one girl.
• 24:10
  Three sell it to. Elon Musk and make a squillion
• 24:12
  dollars? I don't think so.
• 24:13
  How dare. Bang Bang.
• 24:15
  Bang, Bang and then. He was like.
• 24:20
  He shoots some and he just was like, I get it.
• 24:23
  I get. It I.
• 24:25
  Read that whole book and I was like, you know what?
• 24:28
  Yeah. I love how.
• 24:30
  We're friends. I love how you turned.
• 24:32
  Best villain into most relatable villain.
• 24:37
  He was the most mentally insane out of all the characters we've
• 24:40
  read and you know. What?
• 24:41
  I get it. I I can understand because say I
• 24:44
  was walking down the street. Yeah.
• 24:48
  And someone was like, my little Bunny.
• 24:51
  And then she was like, oh. Fight.
• 24:53
  Club I'd be like shoot em, shoot em, all throw them in front of a
• 24:57
  car. Violence is the answer my.
• 24:59
  Big Bad Lion. Kill.
• 25:01
  You. And wasn't he, like a plumber
• 25:05
  and construction worker? He was certified.
• 25:08
  He was. He hadn't even gone to
• 25:10
  university. He didn't even fix the roof.
• 25:14
  He had a whole last trade and he never fixed the roof, remember?
• 25:17
  How she was freaking out about Imagine what Michael would think
• 25:21
  about him. He's not even in.
• 25:22
  University like. This dirty tradie.
• 25:25
  This dirty, sweaty, muscly tradie.
• 25:28
  I get it, my guy. I get it.
• 25:30
  Michael was in the right. They were obnoxious characters.
• 25:33
  They. Were terrible.
• 25:34
  Terrible they. Couldn't even have a
• 25:36
  conversation. He dead ass told hey told her
• 25:45
  she he killed him in. She's like, that's OK.
• 25:47
  I respect that. Michael didn't and that's why
• 25:50
  he's the real MVP. I.
• 25:52
  Know. So she's like your past is your
• 25:54
  past, babe, it's OK. I.
• 25:57
  See the real you and then Michaels in the corner like.
• 26:02
  He's. Just listening.
• 26:02
  He's probably tapped the house and everything and he's like,
• 26:05
  what the fuck am I listening to? What is this?
• 26:09
  All right, so my pick for best villain this one kind of
• 26:13
  obscure. OK Billy from Daisy, Drones and
• 26:16
  the 6th by Taylor Jenkins, Reed and Look.
• 26:20
  The. Reason why I chose this book for
• 26:23
  best villain is gradually through the book because you
• 26:27
  think the problem is the world, the music industry and blah blah
• 26:30
  blah, yeah. Daisy jokes and Daisy men.
• 26:33
  Yeah, and men as well. Because there's Daisy.
• 26:36
  All her substance abuse, but then all the trauma she had
• 26:39
  throughout her life too her. Parents even.
• 26:41
  Yes. Yeah, but.
• 26:43
  Billy is a piece of shit. He's.
• 26:45
  So piece of shitty I. Will die on this hill.
• 26:49
  There is no redeeming quality about this man.
• 26:52
  He's. Got everything wrong with him,
• 26:53
  but the worst part is he's so believable as a character.
• 26:57
  Because he's so relatable. He's so, but that's exactly what
• 27:00
  10 guys are like. Yeah, that's exactly.
• 27:03
  Sneaky. Exactly what they're like and
• 27:07
  tell me sweet. Sweet Camille.
• 27:10
  Yes. At home, Camilla.
• 27:11
  Camilla. Yeah, one of them.
• 27:13
  It's been a while. It's been a minute.
• 27:14
  And then you're going to go to sweaty, drippy Daisy, wearing no
• 27:19
  shoes. Her feet are.
• 27:20
  Fucking. Filthy.
• 27:23
  That. Bitch doesn't wash her feet.
• 27:25
  Yeah, she's not. She doesn't.
• 27:26
  Use a washer when she showers. It's just the fact that he would
• 27:29
  just cheat, just no morals. And then the two female
• 27:33
  characters are fighting over him because he can carry a tune.
• 27:37
  Get fucked, Billy. I hope everything bad happens to
• 27:40
  you, Billy. And.
• 27:41
  Then our sweet, sweet girl dies. So she was the sweetest little
• 27:45
  bean, most understanding little bean.
• 27:48
  It. Should have been him.
• 27:49
  Oh. It should have been him it.
• 27:50
  Should have been him. It's.
• 27:53
  The absolute worst. And that's why he just ground my
• 27:56
  gears more than any other villain.
• 27:58
  I'm for sure Feral. And then you know he's going to
• 28:02
  go down in the history books and Camilla's going to go nowhere.
• 28:05
  Yeah, no one's going to remember her name.
• 28:07
  And then he's going to be their. Music wasn't even great.
• 28:11
  I know, but he's going to be in the halls of fame.
• 28:14
  Typical champion. Right.
• 28:16
  So getting into something a bit nicer, we've got favorite
• 28:19
  character. Mine is Riddick from 4th Wing.
• 28:24
  And. You'll.
• 28:24
  Forever be my favorite character.
• 28:27
  I just love a little humor. I love a little sassy humor.
• 28:30
  Yep, even an iron flame. It was better.
• 28:33
  He was so much in it more OK And it was just funny.
• 28:36
  And if I could read a whole book about Riddick, I'd be fine.
• 28:40
  OK, we love bit of Comic Relief for the otherwise dreary book,
• 28:44
  considering what was going on. Around Just a little, Yeah.
• 28:47
  Just obsessed love. That so my favorite character is
• 28:52
  Piper from It Happened One summer, which I never expected
• 28:55
  because when I first started the book I was like, she's annoying,
• 28:58
  she's a socialite. She's a Paris Hilton wannabe.
• 29:01
  She was dumb. She had no idea how to live
• 29:03
  life. But she had a character arc,
• 29:06
  though, and she improved with the book and.
• 29:08
  She grew adapted. And eventually, she wasn't as
• 29:12
  pick me as she was at the start. No.
• 29:14
  And I loved that the author gave her her own personality.
• 29:19
  That wasn't a total self insert for any reader to just pop right
• 29:22
  in. Because she had her fashion
• 29:25
  sense, the way she talked to people, the way she treated
• 29:27
  people, all of that was set in stone.
• 29:29
  Yeah, it wasn't like, oh, we'll just.
• 29:31
  Create. A vague girl that you can
• 29:33
  experience the male character through.
• 29:36
  Her. Partner in the book wasn't super
• 29:38
  problematic either, whatever his name is.
• 29:41
  Fucks me. No, the rugged guy.
• 29:44
  I forget he wasn't he. Was he was a boat dude?
• 29:48
  Yeah. The boat dude.
• 29:49
  Yeah, she was a bit problematic and pick me at some point, but
• 29:53
  she. Was like a rich heiress or
• 29:55
  something. And she grew.
• 29:56
  She adapted. She learned how to cook her and
• 29:59
  her sister learned how to cook. Built a bar.
• 30:01
  They fixed the bar. So.
• 30:02
  She learned how to work hard. She did.
• 30:05
  However, Humpy's pillow or something, I can't remember she.
• 30:08
  Literally rode to the hospital in his T-shirt.
• 30:11
  Panty, less look. She was stressed out.
• 30:14
  He was dead. And then didn't she?
• 30:16
  Like they have sex in the hospital.
• 30:20
  Stupid girl. You're my beanie.
• 30:23
  Though we forgive because it was for the plot, it was for the.
• 30:26
  Plot She was living her best life and that's all that
• 30:29
  matters. Yeah, exactly.
• 30:30
  Wow. So we get to move on to tropes.
• 30:33
  We've got a couple tropes coming.
• 30:37
  This. Category is just for me because
• 30:39
  of how fucking ragey it makes me.
• 30:41
  OK, so I'm sorry for everyone who is sick of hearing it.
• 30:45
  Most frustrating Gala or ball scene.
• 30:49
  Mine is fucked. And it's because.
• 30:57
  It is just all these people having a tantrum in a gala and
• 31:01
  then it was just a fucking excuse for her to try fuck her
• 31:05
  dad. Oh, he pinned them between.
• 31:08
  Them and was getting hard off the thought of fucking her dad
• 31:11
  on her his dead like her on her dead fucking Wendy.
• 31:17
  On his dead on Peter. 'S dead corpse.
• 31:19
  And that was the only purpose of it.
• 31:21
  There was no other purpose. He was.
• 31:23
  Trying. To make the dad jealous because
• 31:26
  he rocks up and goes. Are you trying to steal my day?
• 31:29
  That's her dad. Like her blood dad.
• 31:32
  Calm. Down and also Peter.
• 31:35
  Michaels don't give a fuck about Wendy.
• 31:36
  So. Big whoop.
• 31:37
  He doesn't give a fuck, he. Doesn't give a ruder ruder right
• 31:40
  in front of everyone. And the gala then?
• 31:42
  Idiot. He doesn't care.
• 31:44
  He wants her dead in the end anyway.
• 31:46
  Everyone. She's just a fucking.
• 31:47
  It's just all stupid, sad old people fighting us.
• 31:56
  If I'm being really honest, I wrote that in my notes weeks
• 32:00
  ago, so that is not even a part of the ages problem I'm going
• 32:04
  through today. Don't ask me how I got there.
• 32:06
  Who hurt you? Did they?
• 32:08
  Fucking no one didn't lie. They old, I just so girl big.
• 32:14
  Thing about older ladies riding men.
• 32:19
  It's like when men Right Romances.
• 32:22
  Oh yeah, it's the same energy. Oh yeah, the ample.
• 32:25
  Bosoms the the bosoms floating. It's exactly the same with their
• 32:29
  own gravitational pull, yeah. The same.
• 32:33
  Energy. In orbit around?
• 32:35
  Yes. Anyway, the.
• 32:37
  Floating bosoms off track. Off.
• 32:39
  Track. No.
• 32:40
  I think that's appropriately enough that we need to know from
• 32:43
  hooked. I just the ball.
• 32:46
  Scene. It just didn't make any sense.
• 32:47
  Like when you're going to put Please please authors if you're
• 32:50
  listening to this. If there's.
• 32:52
  A fucking. Ball.
• 32:53
  Can it be for a fucking reason? Yeah, there's never a reason you
• 32:58
  can. Do a gathering of people that
• 32:59
  isn't a ball. I just don't understand how did
• 33:03
  we get here? It's a full trope and nobody can
• 33:05
  convince me otherwise. It is, But why is it in every
• 33:08
  ball? No one.
• 33:09
  Ever talks about this being the worst trope ever and I don't
• 33:12
  understand. It's always just.
• 33:13
  Sprinkled in for no fucking reason, love.
• 33:15
  Balls and galas. I don't know why.
• 33:18
  Why? There's never any galas on.
• 33:22
  Maybe. Because we're in Australia.
• 33:25
  And it's not socially normal, but we have normal.
• 33:31
  Well, we'd have charity galas and stuff, I guess.
• 33:34
  It's just not as I suppose. We do sometimes, but.
• 33:37
  About it, it's old timey tradition, my most frustrating
• 33:41
  gala all ball scene, so it's the one from the haunting Adeline.
• 33:47
  Because they fucking. Rock up.
• 33:49
  They make this big deal about them fake dating so that old
• 33:53
  mate could get information about the pedophile rings?
• 33:55
  Yeah, because he's doing fucking double duty.
• 33:59
  And. Then.
• 34:00
  They fuck off with the entire ball and go watch a horror movie
• 34:03
  and fuck in a cinema the whole time.
• 34:07
  So not only did they traumatize you with the fact they they.
• 34:09
  Went to a ball. But they didn't even participate
• 34:12
  in said ball. I was that.
• 34:15
  Mad. Don't cock tease me about a
• 34:18
  ball. I'm all fired.
• 34:20
  Up because I fucking. Hate them and then you're not
• 34:22
  even in there. Why did you do that to me?
• 34:26
  That was the ball. That was the turning point for
• 34:28
  you. I can't remember which one was a
• 34:30
  turning point. It was.
• 34:31
  When I realized they're in every book, I think I just of becoming
• 34:34
  more unhinged from each. Copy and paste Copy and paste I.
• 34:38
  I think that's how I'm going to die.
• 34:40
  It's just having a fucking heart attack the next time I read
• 34:44
  about. You know what's?
• 34:46
  Going to happen. You're going to be like in a
• 34:48
  coma and I'm going to be like, you know what, I'm going to read
• 34:51
  you all these gala scenes and. You're just going to?
• 34:53
  Rise from the bed and punch me in the throat machine.
• 34:57
  That. Life support machine is suddenly
• 34:59
  going to be like beep. Beep Beep Beep.
• 35:01
  Beep. Beep.
• 35:02
  Beep. That you bring in all the books
• 35:04
  I've. Missed in my coma.
• 35:06
  I'll be like, oh, the blood be pumping and just can you like
• 35:10
  kill like her blood pressure, it's out of control.
• 35:13
  I think she's waking up like a better run.
• 35:16
  Forget smelling salts. Forget.
• 35:19
  Adrenaline I. Better get out of here.
• 35:21
  They're like what? We've tried everything.
• 35:24
  They're like, what did you do? Nothing.
• 35:26
  This is. Like everywhere it's.
• 35:27
  Like nothing. This is this girl off more than
• 35:29
  a good old gala, and then I've got the TV in the background
• 35:33
  playing Gala's. Like gentle ballroom music.
• 35:37
  I'm like losing it. I just can't even deal.
• 35:42
  Don't fucking tell me you're going to fake date in a ball
• 35:46
  scene two of my motivated tropes, and then you're just
• 35:49
  fucking in a cinema the whole time.
• 35:50
  Like, come on now, come. On and.
• 35:52
  She was like, oh, this scary movie just got my adrenaline
• 35:56
  going. We just had the fuck it's like.
• 35:58
  Who set up the cinema? When there's a different event
• 36:00
  going on just for two people to wander in there and.
• 36:03
  Just, you know, I thought. He was taking his job seriously.
• 36:06
  He's trying to get more information about the pedigree.
• 36:08
  Apparently not. Well.
• 36:09
  Considering and how she and where she ended up in book two,
• 36:12
  I feel like he definitely did he.
• 36:15
  Doesn't give a fuck. Just most frustrating.
• 36:19
  Putting Zaddy in the bin. All right, I've got to calm
• 36:24
  down. Let's go to Worst confession of
• 36:27
  Love. Which is my most hated trope.
• 36:31
  Oh. Fucking.
• 36:32
  Hate it? What do you mean just generally?
• 36:34
  I just it's so long winded. You can just say anything else
• 36:39
  and they just say like 3 pages of dialogue of just bullshit and
• 36:45
  none of it ever makes sense and it's.
• 36:47
  Always when it's enemies to love us and they've hated them the
• 36:49
  whole rest of the but. It's always the weirdest shit,
• 36:51
  yeah. Yeah, that's so true.
• 36:53
  OK. I have two.
• 36:55
  Oh no, I have one. And an honorable measure, so I
• 36:57
  have two. So the worst one for me was the
• 37:00
  marriage effect and where she sets up this whole Guardian
• 37:04
  fucking award for this man looking after his sisters and
• 37:09
  she gets up on stage and gives this entire speech about how
• 37:13
  he's the best. It was so embarrassing, Father.
• 37:16
  Ever. And how they're going to pick a
• 37:19
  new person every year for this Guardian award and then gave him
• 37:24
  just this weird trophy in front of all of his friends and it's
• 37:28
  just fucking weird. And who who gave her the
• 37:31
  authority to do this? She just made-up some random
• 37:34
  award and stood on stage in front of everyone to just say
• 37:38
  she loved him. And then she gave her
• 37:40
  inheritance away to his sisters, like he isn't a rich man.
• 37:45
  She's not even rich. It was to.
• 37:46
  Prove that she truly loved him and she wasn't chasing his
• 37:49
  money. Shut up.
• 37:52
  Used her though. He used her to get custody of
• 37:54
  his sisters, so she should just keep her money just in case it
• 37:58
  doesn't work out and. It's not even like she got the
• 38:00
  good half of the deal deal. She got less money than what he
• 38:03
  has, and she was a living fucking babysitter for free.
• 38:07
  For free and sex worker. My second one, yeah.
• 38:11
  What's your honourable mention? It's Pen.
• 38:13
  Pal And it's where I forgot his name.
• 38:16
  But it's where Michael. It's the moment where Michael
• 38:19
  kills him and he's like convinced they're the FBI.
• 38:23
  So the guy is just like can't remember he's fucking name for
• 38:25
  the life of me. He's like, yeah, I work for the
• 38:29
  FBI and I'm trying to snew your math equations and then he turns
• 38:33
  around, he's like, I love you so much Bunny.
• 38:35
  You'll be fine. And it's like.
• 38:38
  Are you kidding? Are you kidding?
• 38:40
  She you you literally just killed her.
• 38:43
  Was it Aiden or something? Oh, probably.
• 38:45
  It sounds like the Aiden thing to do it.
• 38:47
  Sounds like an Aiden thing to do.
• 38:49
  All I know is he literally went along with this crazy ass man
• 38:54
  and then turned around and was like I love you so much.
• 38:56
  If I'm ever in a situation like that and my boyfriend turns
• 38:59
  around and says I love you, I will shoot him myself.
• 39:02
  Exactly. Ridiculous.
• 39:04
  Just anything else. It's such a bad time to confess
• 39:06
  love. Look how you say.
• 39:10
  It every day say anything else, so the funniest thing you can
• 39:14
  think of on the spot, yeah. Or at least say something that's
• 39:18
  not going to get your girlfriend shot because like 5 seconds
• 39:24
  earlier they were going, I don't even know him.
• 39:26
  And then he's like, I love you Bunny.
• 39:27
  And then I'll make Michael's like head spinning around in
• 39:29
  circles going like, yeah. Like you almost had Michael
• 39:34
  believing you were working for the FBI and she would have made
• 39:37
  it out. Probably safe.
• 39:38
  Yep. But.
• 39:39
  He's like, you know what? We're all going down.
• 39:41
  We're all going. Downhill.
• 39:42
  Oh my God. OK, I'm going to gear up again
• 39:44
  because this is fucking. This one makes me mad.
• 39:47
  Hit it. So worst confession of love for
• 39:49
  me was fucking Emerson from Praise by Sarah Kate, who I
• 39:54
  still maintain has the name of a 5 year old girl.
• 39:57
  He blurts out to his son who's also previously banged her
• 40:00
  because they were dating about the girl, Charlie.
• 40:04
  He blurts out in front of his son.
• 40:06
  She means nothing to me. Which is like a reverse
• 40:09
  confession of love with the dildo, the vibrator remote.
• 40:13
  Oh yeah, because. The sun accidentally hit the
• 40:16
  like vibrator. She's like on the ground, like
• 40:19
  she grabbed. It with his key fob.
• 40:20
  By accident, yeah. And then she's like, and then
• 40:24
  he's like, hold on, what's going on here?
• 40:26
  Emerson's like, she doesn't mean shit to me.
• 40:28
  She's just some stupid slut. I would have been calling HR on
• 40:35
  this man's a. 100% And then towards the end of that book,
• 40:40
  Charlie's dad is supposed to be the bad guy, so Emerson and the
• 40:43
  son rock up to save her. And then he's like, Oh my God, I
• 40:47
  actually love her bro. Just.
• 40:51
  Because you're a bad dad doesn't mean you can use his
• 40:55
  ex-girlfriend against him. Yeah, trash.
• 41:00
  It was horrendous. So that's like a reverse
• 41:03
  confession of love, isn't it? No.
• 41:05
  Because it's kind of a confession of love to the Son,
• 41:08
  when you think about it. At least just confess it, then
• 41:11
  it's worse. Because remember how she was
• 41:13
  like she hates. You anyway, yeah.
• 41:16
  Exactly. And also, the chick had to deal
• 41:19
  with that and was like, Oh my God, the guy I've been sleeping
• 41:21
  with literally hates my cuts. So why do that?
• 41:24
  Yeah, just such an idiot. Just family.
• 41:27
  I was so confused. But that scene was fucked.
• 41:31
  Get fucked, Emerson. Get That was so embarrassing.
• 41:34
  And you know what? He was an old man.
• 41:38
  Excuse me? He was supposed to be a silver
• 41:40
  fox, which normally I like there.
• 41:42
  Was no silver, no fox? Just a.
• 41:46
  Gray fucking weirdo. Just a.
• 41:48
  Vibrating key fob. Just a guy who had to hire a
• 41:54
  girl out of his league and under his age limit, it says.
• 41:59
  A lot when you think about it that way, doesn't it?
• 42:02
  So let's move on to our next amazing category, Worst Trope.
• 42:08
  You would think it'd be confessions of love, but is in
• 42:11
  fact the inexperienced trope Ohh.
• 42:14
  The Virgin trope it. Fucking pisses me.
• 42:18
  Off. 1st. Off we had Archers voice.
• 42:21
  Ohh. So get me start on the ick
• 42:22
  factor of that you. You telling me?
• 42:26
  You're. Telling me you're telling.
• 42:28
  Me. That this grown ass man has
• 42:31
  never diddled his own Willy. That he prematurely comes in his
• 42:36
  own pants by her cutting his hair.
• 42:39
  You're telling me he's never come in his life?
• 42:45
  The second one. Sorry.
• 42:46
  Just. Moving along, moving along.
• 42:49
  Moving along one, it's fair. It was giving that she treated
• 42:53
  him like a baby and then it was like groomy.
• 42:57
  She liked it. It.
• 42:58
  Was weird and groomy the whole entire book.
• 43:00
  I know people love it. I'm sorry, but when you really
• 43:02
  think down to it, it was weird and groomy.
• 43:04
  Very groomy, the. Second one book we read with
• 43:08
  this is hooked. You.
• 43:10
  Why? Why?
• 43:11
  Why would you? Do that to us.
• 43:13
  Why is this woman who's never had sex can only come from
• 43:20
  getting choked? Yeah, the first time they had
• 43:23
  sex, she's like, choke me. They didn't.
• 43:25
  Yeah. They didn't even have sex.
• 43:27
  They he fingered her and she could only come by getting
• 43:31
  choked. It no, your clit can't be that
• 43:33
  fucking tired. No from you rubbing it out 24/7
• 43:38
  that you need to choke yourself. Also no.
• 43:42
  Because the first time you're having.
• 43:43
  Sex. Sorry.
• 43:44
  There's really much going on. You're not literally like, choke
• 43:48
  me. No.
• 43:49
  One, is that confident the first time they're having sex to be
• 43:52
  worried about? Yeah, everything.
• 43:54
  There's too. Much going on, you know, there's
• 43:56
  a lot. Even if it's not full virgin,
• 43:58
  there's a lot of inexperienced girl trope that goes on
• 44:02
  generally in these kind of books.
• 44:03
  Yeah, all the. Time all the.
• 44:04
  Time Why? Can't they just have some?
• 44:06
  Wild past or even some sexual experience.
• 44:10
  Just a little bit, yeah. Not even sex itself making out
• 44:14
  or something. Some reason they never made out,
• 44:16
  they've never been figured. They've never had anything and
• 44:19
  all of a sudden they're getting choked to come.
• 44:22
  It never makes any sense. I.
• 44:23
  Know. It's like how did we get here?
• 44:25
  It's like 0200 all that how did? You work that out.
• 44:28
  How did she work that out? I.
• 44:29
  Don't know when. Are you ever rubbing one out and
• 44:33
  then you're like, I need to choke myself?
• 44:35
  Literally, well, that's called auto asphyxiation.
• 44:38
  So some people are into that. You feel like you don't go
• 44:41
  virgin to auto asphyxiation. No, that's what I mean.
• 44:44
  If you. If that's your thing, amazing.
• 44:46
  Love that for you. Get it?
• 44:48
  Get it? But she has never had any
• 44:51
  experience with any man, woman or anything near her genitals,
• 44:55
  and all of a sudden she needs to be choked, yeah.
• 44:58
  It's just not giving. No he.
• 45:00
  Knew she was a virgin. Anyway, who cares?
• 45:02
  He didn't he? Doesn't care.
• 45:03
  He'd like that. It's a fucking psycho.
• 45:06
  Any who? So any.
• 45:07
  Hoozles. I'm very passionate, Yeah, it's.
• 45:11
  Just. We've.
• 45:12
  Had enough? It's zooting from me.
• 45:14
  It's not some. Sluts in this like, come on,
• 45:17
  slut it up girlies. Live your best Sexual.
• 45:19
  Life. Yeah.
• 45:20
  Explore your own shit. Have.
• 45:22
  A sex with 1000 men have 1000 have a sex have sex with 1000
• 45:28
  men and women. Mm hmm.
• 45:30
  I love that for you. Just plow the whole army.
• 45:33
  Just get. It have no sex.
• 45:35
  That's amazing for you. But I still do not understand
• 45:38
  the dreamy part of the inexperienced trope.
• 45:41
  I don't know. OK, this one's going to be no
• 45:44
  surprise to anybody. The worst trope that I'm picking
• 45:47
  this year is fake marriage, my example being The Marriage
• 45:52
  Effects by Carlos Sorenson. Not the colors for the colors.
• 45:56
  Bringing the team down. I'm going to make this quick
• 45:59
  because the whole concept of the book is fake marriage.
• 46:03
  This was monetary reasons, and they didn't even need to.
• 46:08
  Do it and. Then it turned into her just
• 46:11
  needing to bang him and he didn't want a part of it.
• 46:13
  It was weird. It was.
• 46:15
  Weird, yeah. There's.
• 46:16
  Never a time where you need to fake marry except it makes sense
• 46:22
  when it's the mafia families trying to conjoin and it's
• 46:25
  arranged marriage like. Fake marriage?
• 46:28
  No. Yeah.
• 46:29
  Fake marriage for. Who for who?
• 46:32
  How are you? Achieving liftoff with this plot
• 46:35
  idea how it's never needed and I will die on that hill.
• 46:40
  It's never needed. When is anyone?
• 46:42
  Needed to fake marriage someone, maybe back in the day when you
• 46:45
  wanted to vote. Or like you're each other's
• 46:47
  beards. Yes, that's the only time.
• 46:50
  Yes, that's the only time. That's the only.
• 46:52
  Time. Not for monetary reasons, Nah.
• 46:55
  What the fuck? And then she gave away all her
• 46:57
  inheritance. Anyway, so if.
• 46:59
  He dumps her when he's had enough of her free babysitting
• 47:02
  services. That's it.
• 47:04
  The worst. Oh, the worst.
• 47:06
  The. Worst she.
• 47:08
  Should have kicked. Him right in the shin.
• 47:10
  Right in the Dick. No, because he broke his knee,
• 47:13
  remember? Oh yeah, but kick him in the
• 47:15
  Dick anyway. All right, let's go.
• 47:18
  Worst dialogue? OK, I'm really sorry.
• 47:20
  I'm going to bring it up again, pen pal.
• 47:25
  It. Was.
• 47:26
  A lot. Everyone was like, stop, I'm.
• 47:28
  So sorry. No, I'm not.
• 47:30
  It was long winded. All the dialogue was so long
• 47:33
  winded. Yeah, and they'd say the
• 47:35
  weirdest shit to the. Weirdest shit and it.
• 47:37
  Wasn't just a lion Bunny thing, there was some weird other shit,
• 47:39
  she said. Something about him hanging up
• 47:41
  all the rabbit pelts in his house or something.
• 47:44
  It was just fucking insane, remember?
• 47:46
  That book of poetry, she found one book, one book in the whole
• 47:49
  man's house. And then she's like, oh, he's so
• 47:51
  deep. Oh my God, Aiden.
• 47:54
  'S so deep and not. Only that she ran around his
• 47:56
  house naked, pretending to be a Bunny running away from him.
• 47:59
  There was so much stuff for no reason, but.
• 48:03
  Their whole relationship with sex only and then they have
• 48:05
  these fake deeper. That's.
• 48:07
  What I mean? The back and forth
• 48:09
  conversations. As an author, the biggest thing
• 48:12
  you should ever do. Not that I write books, I'm
• 48:14
  really sorry. But the biggest thing as a
• 48:16
  reader, a big reader. You need to read them things out
• 48:19
  loud. Yeah, because why do I need to
• 48:22
  read a page of the longest, worst dialogue ever?
• 48:26
  That doesn't even make sense and it's always corny for no reason.
• 48:30
  Yeah. I don't like the corn.
• 48:31
  Maybe people like the corn. I don't know.
• 48:34
  There's a lot of parts. There's a lot of parts.
• 48:36
  And I don't know why people like this book, because there's a lot
• 48:38
  of parts in that book where they just said the weirdest fucking
• 48:41
  shit. They.
• 48:41
  Liked it for the twist? Is it worth it though?
• 48:44
  Is it twist worth it? Right, My pit for worst
• 48:48
  dialogue. So the stuff that just gave me
• 48:50
  the Heebie Jeeves and most cringes when I was reading what
• 48:54
  the characters were saying was definitely Credence by Penelope
• 48:57
  Douglas there because OK, most cringe dialogue because it was
• 49:02
  fucked. It was literally constant.
• 49:04
  Uncle Niece my. Cousins, I can't.
• 49:07
  Believe. I'm fucking my brother's fucking
• 49:09
  child. Even when they were having sex,
• 49:13
  she was like, oh uncle, I'm like, dude.
• 49:16
  That's what I mean. Oh, it.
• 49:19
  Was the worst. That's.
• 49:21
  How you knew you know you're doing something wrong.
• 49:24
  And also the constant little cousins I.
• 49:27
  Will give it to Penelope Douglas for making it the most.
• 49:30
  Uncomfy. Uncomfy book.
• 49:33
  She snagged people in with that. Uncomfy, yeah.
• 49:36
  She put my knickers in a complete twist.
• 49:41
  The uncle was constantly mentioning her dad when they're
• 49:44
  about to have sex. And just out of nowhere.
• 49:46
  Remember when they were in the car and they were having sex for
• 49:48
  the first time and he said something like really gross
• 49:51
  about her vagina? Like just pussy or something.
• 49:54
  It was like so. Childish.
• 49:56
  It was so childish. Like it was so groomy and
• 49:58
  disgusting, This also. Counts for the inexperience,
• 50:02
  Yeah, because wasn't she inexperience?
• 50:06
  She. Was full virgin, full virgin.
• 50:07
  And that's why he was so happy to take her virginity, because
• 50:10
  he he's like, at least I'm your uncle, so it's OK.
• 50:13
  That's. Not.
• 50:14
  OK. That's OK.
• 50:19
  That's the inference. Your If it was like, at least
• 50:22
  I'm your uncle's best friend, that's different.
• 50:25
  It's. Still wrong because the age gap.
• 50:28
  That's true. Because she was, like, 17.
• 50:30
  Yeah. And they're like, oh, we can't
• 50:31
  do it right now. You're only 17.
• 50:33
  It doesn't make it any less gross. 1818 birthday though they
• 50:38
  waited for the day of what? So that you don't get arrested.
• 50:41
  It doesn't make a difference. That's like when men are like,
• 50:45
  oh, I can't wait till Billie Eilish is 18.
• 50:48
  She looks the fucking sane. It makes no.
• 50:51
  Difference. So she's not going to pick you,
• 50:52
  bro? Bro.
• 50:55
  Or like they do it to Charlie d'amelio when she was 15.
• 50:58
  She is a child. She's like 1819 now, but she is
• 51:01
  a child. But at the time, they're acting
• 51:04
  like what? Charlie D'amelio is going to DM
• 51:06
  you the second she turns 18, if anything that.
• 51:09
  Girl is just going to get on a plane to know any of you.
• 51:12
  Exactly. Disgust.
• 51:15
  Thing. I think men like that assume
• 51:18
  that girls who are, like turning 18, they assume that they're
• 51:23
  interested in older men when they're attracted to boys their
• 51:26
  own age. Don't worry, they're busy.
• 51:28
  They're booked and busy. They're getting enough attention
• 51:30
  from guys who they actually like, but they're not thinking
• 51:33
  about you. You're not even in their orbit.
• 51:35
  Just don't worry. About it, don't even stress.
• 51:37
  You're right, that book is disgusting.
• 51:40
  Fucked and the dialogue, just the things they said to each
• 51:43
  other. The only one that was fine in
• 51:46
  that book is the brother. And he wasn't even good.
• 51:48
  It was just because he didn't fucking talk.
• 51:51
  Which one the? One that didn't look, Yeah.
• 51:54
  But he was. The worst.
• 51:55
  Person. Ever.
• 51:58
  OK. So moving right along.
• 52:01
  To. Something even worse Most
• 52:04
  disgusting sex scene. OK, I know, I know.
• 52:08
  The knife in the arse is the clear winner.
• 52:11
  From. Denim wipers, but it's not for
• 52:13
  me. It is Butcher and Blackbird and
• 52:17
  it's when he sucks his own cum out of her pussy and then spits
• 52:22
  it in her mouth. And I know people are into that
• 52:25
  and there's nothing against that, but it made me queasy and
• 52:28
  disgusted. And because we.
• 52:30
  Already waned over the cum ice cream thing in that book, I just
• 52:33
  Every time someone said the word cum, I wanted to vomit.
• 52:36
  Yeah, it's too much. It's the same fucking.
• 52:40
  Very, yeah. Very nauseating.
• 52:42
  I just said. Oh.
• 52:43
  You. Literally look like you're about
• 52:44
  to vomit. Every time I think about it, I'm
• 52:46
  like, I'm here for it. For you guys.
• 52:48
  That's your life and you love that shit.
• 52:51
  Amazing. But he scooped it out of her
• 52:55
  vagina and spat it in her mouth. Every sex scene they had was
• 53:01
  kind of fucked I. Just.
• 53:04
  No, thank you. Just I can't just it's just
• 53:10
  awesome vomiting really. It's just too much okay.
• 53:16
  So to keep the naughty going I did pick the dead of Vipers
• 53:20
  knife booty sex scene because. Because.
• 53:23
  Okay. Was that when?
• 53:26
  There was someone in the room? No, that was just a.
• 53:28
  Dead guy on the floor. So there was.
• 53:30
  Covered in blood. There was technically someone
• 53:32
  else in the room, so all I can think about is that there's the
• 53:35
  stench of fucking ass and booty and fucking shit in the air and
• 53:40
  he's just it's like a sore scene, except worse.
• 53:44
  Yeah, Human centipede level. Think about the fact that the
• 53:47
  dead guy probably shit himself or kissed himself and was under
• 53:50
  them too. Yeah, he was next to them and.
• 53:53
  I'm just waiting for that ass shit to just contaminate this
• 53:56
  wound he's creating and I hope he dies.
• 54:00
  I hope he dies. I.
• 54:01
  Do remember you telling me that that was the only time you've
• 54:04
  ever felt sick? Yeah, about reading some.
• 54:07
  Ever. Just.
• 54:07
  In my whole life and for. Like to give a little context on
• 54:12
  this? Making Carla feel sick?
• 54:13
  Yeah, she watches the most unhinged horror movies before
• 54:17
  she goes to bed and just goes to sleep like nothing's happened.
• 54:20
  That is me that. Is you, but you you literally
• 54:23
  could not cope. No, something about it.
• 54:27
  I felt like I was in the stinky room.
• 54:28
  Like I felt like I'm just like like what is?
• 54:33
  You're like I'm sick. The hair was thick with farts in
• 54:36
  that booty. A.
• 54:38
  Dead guy, but there. Was also because I think there
• 54:41
  was also the other sex scene where he kept going on about her
• 54:44
  pussy stank filling up. Yeah, and it.
• 54:48
  Just I think. And how they neither of them got
• 54:52
  some random blood disease from that exact.
• 54:54
  Scene. Also, everyone's got pink eye,
• 54:56
  everyone's got STIs. The air in there is a biohazard.
• 55:00
  It's heavy. It's heavy and green.
• 55:03
  Just also got an honorable mention Most disgusting sex
• 55:07
  scene the. Fucking.
• 55:10
  Brother Orgy from Credence, when they were watching porn
• 55:14
  beforehand and she wanders in and then they're just like
• 55:18
  watching porn together or whacking it off and then they
• 55:20
  were like lifting up her skirt or the blanket or whatever to
• 55:24
  expose her pussy. And I was just like literally
• 55:30
  like something about it is giving.
• 55:34
  I don't know about you, but if you walked into the same room as
• 55:37
  your cousins and their brothers and they're whacking off to porn
• 55:41
  together, I would run down that mountain and fly back home.
• 55:46
  I wouldn't know what to do. I would be.
• 55:47
  Like this is not the Brokeback Mountain I thought I was getting
• 55:51
  onto. Oh, I don't know.
• 55:52
  Something about that was so triggering Penelope Douglas.
• 55:56
  Dennis sat down and wrote that down.
• 55:58
  Did. Not.
• 56:00
  Sat down. What was going on in her mind?
• 56:01
  That day I'm so sorry, Penelope like.
• 56:05
  It was horrible in a sense that it's horrible, but she's a real
• 56:09
  winner here. She knew what she was doing.
• 56:11
  She's making that money. But at what cost?
• 56:16
  At what cost? You're decaying society with
• 56:19
  these ideas, Penelope. You're dragging us all down to
• 56:23
  hell. I didn't want to be there.
• 56:25
  It was fucking foul. I just disgusting.
• 56:35
  It was weird. It had all the Did you care?
• 56:38
  Creedence in itself is by far the weirdest shit all in one.
• 56:43
  I'm sure there's weirder, but there it just oh.
• 56:45
  Something about incest gets me like I'm about to faint.
• 56:50
  She's too much. Like.
• 56:52
  You when you think about the fact that we read Grounded,
• 56:56
  which is Step Siblings, and it was nowhere near fucking
• 56:59
  unhinged. No.
• 57:00
  No. No, no there.
• 57:01
  Was no. Unhinged?
• 57:03
  No. And this was their cousins.
• 57:05
  Their uncle. Yeah.
• 57:07
  At the end of the day, even if it's they're not related by
• 57:11
  blood, he was still an uncle. Figure Yeah.
• 57:16
  And they're still cousins. And they kept bringing it up
• 57:18
  the. Cousins Loki could probably get
• 57:20
  away with it because they've never had a thing with her in
• 57:23
  their life, but that was he was suddenly having sex with his
• 57:25
  niece to get back at the dad. Yeah, yeah.
• 57:28
  That's it. Fucking.
• 57:30
  Fail. Fucking disgusted by.
• 57:33
  It enough. Just absolutely terrible.
• 57:36
  So let's do a palate cleanser. Let's swing 180° in the other
• 57:40
  direction. Best.
• 57:42
  Sex scene we should have. Talked about this one first.
• 57:45
  I don't know if this is. I don't know if this is going to
• 57:47
  be a pallet cleanser because I don't remember any sex scene
• 57:51
  except for the one where he rubs money on her and priceless and
• 57:55
  that's it. And you?
• 57:56
  Hate that? One, do you think it's OK?
• 58:00
  So I have germaphobia in my. Mind they've cleansed,
• 58:05
  disinfected, soaked that money. Money is more disgusting it is
• 58:09
  than a toilet seat. I'm pretty sure, yeah.
• 58:13
  It is. Could you remember like way back
• 58:15
  when when I used to work in a supermarket and you count the
• 58:18
  money and your hands would be black?
• 58:20
  Grubby. They'd be black and then no
• 58:22
  matter how many times you've washed your hands, it does not
• 58:25
  come off. I would say that was most
• 58:27
  memorable for me and not best. Not because I can't remember.
• 58:31
  It's just so mediocre. There's.
• 58:32
  So many, Yeah. OK, so me being Consent Queen,
• 58:36
  my best sex scene is from Grounded because they have the
• 58:41
  kitchen counter. Scene like will.
• 58:43
  They get caught, will they not? But it wasn't gross.
• 58:45
  Like they weren't purposefully trying to get people to see
• 58:48
  them. Yeah, it just got.
• 58:49
  Out of hand I. Don't even know why I didn't
• 58:51
  even think of them. Because they had that one in the
• 58:53
  car too. Yep.
• 58:55
  And my other one was them on the pool lounges, which was the
• 58:58
  first time they proper had sex and I was like get.
• 59:01
  It get it, get it? That book is full of good little
• 59:04
  smarty sexy, yeah? There's tension there was build
• 59:08
  up, yeah. He.
• 59:09
  Pleased her. He cared.
• 59:12
  About how she was experiencing it?
• 59:14
  Yeah, and they were both actively participating in it.
• 59:18
  It wasn't like one was trying to humiliate the other his.
• 59:21
  Enthusiastic consent down. To.
• 59:24
  The tea, yes. We love we.
• 59:27
  Love. That's fair.
• 59:29
  Yeah, pretty. Much.
• 59:30
  Every. Every That entire book is full
• 59:33
  of the best sex scenes we've probably ever read.
• 59:37
  Biggest plot twist? You sound so upset.
• 59:42
  It's Pen. Pal Oh, I'd.
• 59:44
  Be pen pal too but. It's done.
• 59:46
  Because I was confused. I thought we were getting some
• 59:50
  prison romance. Same.
• 59:52
  And it was none of that. I don't.
• 59:54
  I didn't know where we were, where we were going to be fair
• 59:58
  for this book, even though it's fucking horrible.
• 1:00:01
  Yes. At least I never knew what was
• 1:00:04
  going on because everything is so copy and paste lately.
• 1:00:07
  But I I didn't know we were going to go to paranormal.
• 1:00:10
  I didn't know we were. No, I.
• 1:00:12
  It was stalkery. It was paranormal.
• 1:00:14
  It was murdery. There was never I.
• 1:00:16
  Like it though. Because fuck putting in your
• 1:00:18
  stupid trigger warnings, the whole plot of the book.
• 1:00:21
  That's what everyone does these days.
• 1:00:23
  Yeah, they'll put. Happily ever after.
• 1:00:25
  They'll put the entire tropes stop.
• 1:00:28
  Yeah, You know, actually, a lot of readers were mad at the
• 1:00:31
  author for not putting in that it was paranormal.
• 1:00:33
  Get over it. It's a story.
• 1:00:35
  You're not supposed to know what happens next.
• 1:00:38
  They were. Mad about that, but not mad
• 1:00:40
  about the fact that the guy on the cover looked like he was in
• 1:00:42
  fucking prison, Yes. I made the TikTok preview before
• 1:00:45
  we read it, and I put in the background video a guy in prison
• 1:00:49
  because that's what I thought it was the only.
• 1:00:51
  Person in prison was Michael I. Know the same thing happened
• 1:00:55
  when I did the TikTok for the preview of Hooked.
• 1:00:57
  I put like a little adventure map in the background and then
• 1:01:00
  it was fucking useless. Nothing makes me more mad than a
• 1:01:04
  plot that doesn't have anything to do with what you think.
• 1:01:07
  The I really only called pen pal I.
• 1:01:11
  I usually, I know everything about a book.
• 1:01:14
  Just, you know, TikTok ruins a lot of things.
• 1:01:16
  But that's fine. And I really just assumed that
• 1:01:19
  it was going to be he was in prison.
• 1:01:22
  She would they were riding back and forth, random pen pals and
• 1:01:24
  he got out of prison or something.
• 1:01:26
  That's what that's where I thought that was going.
• 1:01:28
  And. When I was.
• 1:01:29
  Reading it, I was like, what? Where?
• 1:01:31
  There was no point to the letters I.
• 1:01:33
  Was what was happening. I never knew what was happening.
• 1:01:37
  I. Still don't.
• 1:01:38
  I've read the whole book and I still don't know.
• 1:01:41
  Literally. I picked it for biggest plot
• 1:01:43
  twist as well, because you just don't.
• 1:01:45
  I. Think also the ending upset
• 1:01:48
  people because they're like where, but it's still
• 1:01:50
  technically happily. Ever often it's still a happy.
• 1:01:53
  If anything, I wanted them to be unhappy.
• 1:01:55
  I know you're like rooting for Michael Hashtag.
• 1:01:58
  Justice for Michael. The most insane.
• 1:02:03
  So on the other end, let's go. Most predictable storyline.
• 1:02:07
  Yeah, What was your pick? Mine.
• 1:02:09
  Is consider me the. Same.
• 1:02:11
  And it's because Wavelength, no surprise, he's left his phone
• 1:02:17
  out drunk, and he's crazy at stole it and stole the naked
• 1:02:21
  pictures he stored on his phone. Yeah, that's it.
• 1:02:25
  It was the most that was the. Big conflict that.
• 1:02:27
  Was the big conflict. I'm like, as soon as he took the
• 1:02:29
  photos, I was like, well, they're going to go somewhere.
• 1:02:33
  My reason why I thought it was the most predictable because
• 1:02:36
  there was no reason for them not to be together.
• 1:02:39
  There. Was not nothing.
• 1:02:40
  It was. Smooth sailing, technically.
• 1:02:43
  Technically it was just a little bit of him being a hoe, yeah.
• 1:02:48
  And then that came to bite him back, but he chose to be a hoe,
• 1:02:50
  so that's like she knew. A hockey player too.
• 1:02:53
  Most hockey player romances. They're a bit of a hoe and.
• 1:02:55
  She knew that, though, so she kind of knew what she was
• 1:02:57
  signing up for. So there was no.
• 1:02:59
  Real conflict. I feel like, no.
• 1:03:02
  And that's what makes a book predictable, yeah.
• 1:03:06
  If it just flat lines the whole book, you're just going through
• 1:03:10
  the motions, you know that they're going to end up
• 1:03:12
  together, yeah. So what's the point?
• 1:03:15
  Yeah. All right, moving right along.
• 1:03:17
  Most pick me female character. We probably picked the same one
• 1:03:23
  I. Think we did pick the same?
• 1:03:24
  Oh my. God, what is going on?
• 1:03:25
  Who'd you pick? Roxy.
• 1:03:28
  I did too. What is going on?
• 1:03:31
  She is by far the worst. Female character pick me.
• 1:03:36
  She's the crustiest white dog I've ever seen.
• 1:03:42
  Oh, and she you know, other women are just covered in
• 1:03:45
  makeup, but she's allowed to wear 10 inches of fucking
• 1:03:49
  foundation from three days ago. But the thing with her what?
• 1:03:54
  Makes her the biggest pygmy for me is that she thought she has
• 1:03:57
  the magical coochie and that she's going to fix all these
• 1:04:00
  men. She's like, oh, I'm so worried
• 1:04:03
  about Garrett because he was left at the altar or whatever
• 1:04:05
  the fuck and like, oh, at least my magical pussy is going to fix
• 1:04:09
  him save. Him from being traumatized.
• 1:04:12
  She. Gives the most unhygienic
• 1:04:15
  person. Yeah, crusty.
• 1:04:17
  Gucci is smelling baby. Though you know what, OK, when I
• 1:04:23
  started the book and we had the opening scene, she's the manager
• 1:04:26
  of the boss. She's tough, She's strong.
• 1:04:28
  We're rooting. I'm like, yes, here we go.
• 1:04:31
  Female character she's. Like doing the work with what
• 1:04:34
  she's got and what she could afford at the time and then.
• 1:04:37
  She fucking threw her feminism out the door, just like she
• 1:04:40
  threw those original goons out after that point.
• 1:04:45
  How did she regress from the character?
• 1:04:48
  And what happened? How?
• 1:04:50
  Do you? Negative.
• 1:04:51
  Character arc before you've even started, She has so much.
• 1:04:54
  Potential back. She has so much potential and it
• 1:04:58
  just went down biggest. Pygmy on the planet like.
• 1:05:01
  The fact that she was like, I'm the only girl that Diesel's
• 1:05:04
  never killed, That's how I feel about you.
• 1:05:09
  That's. Not that's something to brag
• 1:05:10
  about. Love.
• 1:05:11
  I'm. Like, that means insane.
• 1:05:13
  That means you're also insane. I just love how she's like, this
• 1:05:18
  is my life now. I'm like there's.
• 1:05:21
  What I. Hate.
• 1:05:22
  I hate a lot in books. So this is like another trope
• 1:05:26
  that I hate. It's wear out of nowhere.
• 1:05:29
  The female, and there's nothing wrong with it entirely when it's
• 1:05:32
  done right. Yep, the female character is the
• 1:05:34
  boss. Yeah, she comes.
• 1:05:36
  And Roxanne is a very big boss. She's.
• 1:05:41
  Babe, she is a very. Big Boss babe.
• 1:05:42
  But she uses the most. Been locked in a room and then
• 1:05:46
  she's bossing them around. And then not only is she bossing
• 1:05:48
  them around, she's taking the lead when they're trying to get
• 1:05:51
  Garrett back and trying to threatening people and they're
• 1:05:54
  just like, so happy. I'm like, you've been there for
• 1:05:56
  a fucking week. Calm down.
• 1:06:00
  You're telling me these weird mafia.
• 1:06:02
  It's not even mafia. I don't know what it is.
• 1:06:04
  Mafia. People are letting you take over
• 1:06:06
  their entire life and it happens all the time and it's always out
• 1:06:10
  of nowhere. There's no slow flick to it.
• 1:06:11
  It's just straight up. They're the boss, and that's the
• 1:06:14
  boss, and they're not even good at it.
• 1:06:17
  Right. We're starting to sound like the
• 1:06:19
  crusty white dog that Roxy is. Oh, shit.
• 1:06:24
  Oh, we got some heavy hitters now.
• 1:06:26
  Yeah, most toxic male character. This is for the whole year too.
• 1:06:32
  Oh, we need a drum roll for this bitch.
• 1:06:36
  It is Jameson from The Stopover by.
• 1:06:39
  TL Fawn. He's disgusting.
• 1:06:43
  He's. Just.
• 1:06:44
  Rude. He's her boss who takes
• 1:06:46
  advantage of it. He's not even hot mean in a
• 1:06:49
  bantry way. He's just textbook narcissistic
• 1:06:52
  can. I counter with one thing.
• 1:06:54
  What? At.
• 1:06:55
  Least there's no the age gap, yeah.
• 1:06:59
  There's an age gap. Fuck all.
• 1:07:00
  Right. Bye.
• 1:07:01
  Yeah. So yeah.
• 1:07:03
  I think she's a little bit older, so she's not early 20s.
• 1:07:05
  She's like 30s and he's like 40. Oh my bad.
• 1:07:08
  But like I he's just gross. And the things that came out of
• 1:07:11
  his mouth would have turned me off.
• 1:07:13
  It would have sewed my vagina together.
• 1:07:15
  Oh, he was just he's. Not he.
• 1:07:18
  Was so insecure. Nothing is worse than an
• 1:07:20
  insecure, toxic masculine character.
• 1:07:23
  Like, you can be toxic in a That's My girlfriend possessive,
• 1:07:27
  possessive kind of way. But he was toxic in a
• 1:07:30
  gaslighting narcissistic, insecure.
• 1:07:33
  DV Kind. Of way.
• 1:07:34
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:07:35
  He was just rich and you know. Yeah, for me, yeah, I know, I
• 1:07:39
  know, I know. You know so bad you get.
• 1:07:41
  It so. Bad.
• 1:07:42
  I hate him. I honestly, I'm gonna go listen,
• 1:07:45
  re listen to our episode about it.
• 1:07:47
  So I just want to get mad all over again.
• 1:07:49
  I. Probably.
• 1:07:50
  Wasn't even that mad at the time, but I've had time to like
• 1:07:53
  you. When you've had.
• 1:07:54
  Time to slow cook on these books and read other books and read
• 1:07:59
  other books and look back on it all in one go.
• 1:08:02
  Yeah, it's amazing. So I've got I practically could
• 1:08:06
  do like 5, but I've got 2 main ones.
• 1:08:08
  Yeah. And it's probably because we
• 1:08:10
  read it somewhat recently, but hooked.
• 1:08:12
  Yeah, fair. Because Hook was supposed to be
• 1:08:17
  the bad guy, and even when he was trying to be a good partner
• 1:08:20
  to Wendy, he fucking sucked. He sucks.
• 1:08:24
  So much he locked her up, locked her up.
• 1:08:28
  This sweet little girl locked her up completely.
• 1:08:31
  Didn't even apologize when he let her out.
• 1:08:34
  When he's like, Oh my bad, my bad, the fucking evil girl.
• 1:08:38
  No brain cells. And everything he did to her, he
• 1:08:43
  just acted like she deserved it. For what?
• 1:08:46
  Being Peter Michael's daughter. That's why you picked her.
• 1:08:48
  Idiot. I mean.
• 1:08:49
  Not. He.
• 1:08:52
  I'm like. He did.
• 1:08:53
  He took it out on her. I know it was her brother, but
• 1:08:55
  she was single, mumming it. Yeah.
• 1:08:57
  Trying to watch her 15 year old brother give him the best life
• 1:09:00
  ever, trying to keep him out of school so he could be home
• 1:09:03
  schooled. And then she's got this toxic
• 1:09:06
  man that's like nice. That feels.
• 1:09:08
  Very relatable for women, he's so.
• 1:09:11
  Bad He's whole being his whole essence, he.
• 1:09:15
  Didn't have to be. This mad at her.
• 1:09:17
  He was mad at his pedophile uncle.
• 1:09:19
  He already killed him. Do something with your anger.
• 1:09:23
  Yeah. Sort it out, Peter Michaels
• 1:09:25
  isn't your pedophile uncle. What is going on?
• 1:09:27
  What? Is going on.
• 1:09:29
  Just shoot him. Why do you got to go through
• 1:09:30
  this whole thing? So anyway, he was the worst.
• 1:09:33
  Honorable mention Zadie from haunting out a life as runner up
• 1:09:37
  because he's just fucking fail. He's no good.
• 1:09:40
  Like, let's be honest, he's he's just no good.
• 1:09:43
  Another honorable mention is Alex Volkov from Twisted Another
• 1:09:48
  Go Down. Literally though.
• 1:09:49
  But is. Everyone except our grounded and
• 1:09:52
  done and dusty. Actual and the guy from It
• 1:09:56
  Happened one. Summer.
• 1:09:57
  Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:09:57
  Yeah. So.
• 1:09:58
  Everyone, but then looked horrible and what?
• 1:10:01
  Is going on in this world like. Stalked her for a whole year,
• 1:10:04
  preventing her from dating anyone.
• 1:10:06
  I mean, yeah, true and then. Love bombed his way back in
• 1:10:10
  eventually. And then?
• 1:10:11
  Assaulted us with his singing. Don't even get me started with
• 1:10:15
  Zaddy. There's too much going on there.
• 1:10:17
  He did the same thing we could just.
• 1:10:18
  Go into a whole another podcast episode about.
• 1:10:20
  Why? Zaddy sucked.
• 1:10:22
  Yeah, I get the Don't get me wrong, I get why people think
• 1:10:25
  he's hot, but there's way too many from a far away from not
• 1:10:31
  interacting with him. If he was walking past me down
• 1:10:36
  the street, if I pitched him how I pitched it, I'd be like, damn,
• 1:10:39
  that guy's hot. And then if I had a conversation
• 1:10:42
  with him, I'd be like, I need to move countries.
• 1:10:45
  Exactly. Yeah.
• 1:10:46
  Well, that. So those are our big heavy
• 1:10:48
  hitter categories. But we do have a couple
• 1:10:51
  honourable mentions. My first honourable mention is
• 1:10:55
  most incest, which is credence, obviously.
• 1:10:58
  Yeah, we've kind of touched on that.
• 1:11:00
  Need we say more? No.
• 1:11:01
  We do, I reckon. Really.
• 1:11:03
  So. We say more?
• 1:11:04
  No, we do so. Let's put.
• 1:11:06
  In perspective of how incesty this is, we read a book called
• 1:11:11
  Trick Shot and it was about two men and.
• 1:11:16
  One woman. Sorry.
• 1:11:19
  Last explanation of it. Don't rely on me for anything
• 1:11:21
  they described in detail. And I've never thought this is.
• 1:11:24
  I've never thought about it before.
• 1:11:27
  The walls are thin and a girl's coochie, right?
• 1:11:30
  Yeah, so. When they're fucking Tearin, the
• 1:11:35
  brother, OK, including the two brothers, Tianan or whatever.
• 1:11:40
  Yeah, a fucking Tianan. One's in the ass and one's in
• 1:11:43
  the cooch. And they they're essentially
• 1:11:45
  getting off on their Dicks, rubbing on the inside.
• 1:11:48
  So the fact that they're not only the whole weird incesty
• 1:11:54
  between. Her and them.
• 1:11:55
  But between brothers, they're Blood Brothers I.
• 1:11:58
  Know. But when you think about the
• 1:12:00
  fact that they're getting off on each other's Dicks, robbing,
• 1:12:03
  it's worse. Yeah.
• 1:12:05
  I never thought I'm like, I know they're so.
• 1:12:07
  Incesty. I'm like, I know their general
• 1:12:09
  greedence is incesty, but when you think about the fact that
• 1:12:13
  they're both coming. About this both.
• 1:12:15
  Coming about their Dicks, Rubbing on the inside of her
• 1:12:18
  pooch, We. Should be setting our torches on
• 1:12:19
  fire and sharpening our pitchforks.
• 1:12:21
  And if you've. Never thought about this.
• 1:12:23
  Now you will and. We should be storming wherever
• 1:12:26
  Penelope Douglas does storming. Their capitals.
• 1:12:29
  Storming Wherever her office is, I've just never thought.
• 1:12:34
  About it until we did this and I was like, until we read Trick
• 1:12:37
  Shot and I was like, Oh my God, they're Dicks for grubbing at
• 1:12:41
  this point. They should have just dot Dicks.
• 1:12:44
  They probably do, though. My dark web theory.
• 1:12:47
  Yeah. Is that the uncle?
• 1:12:51
  Was it Uncle Jamie? Uncle Son.
• 1:12:55
  Uncle the uncle of. Credence Uncle Perv Uncle Perv
• 1:12:59
  has sexually assaulted these children.
• 1:13:01
  Yeah. And.
• 1:13:03
  That's in some way or another. Because why did they think that
• 1:13:06
  was normal? Yeah, so you can't.
• 1:13:10
  You can't that mountain wise. There's you have from what it
• 1:13:13
  sounded like they had so many friends.
• 1:13:16
  It's just weird. And the fact that Caleb thought
• 1:13:19
  it was normal to pin her against the wall too when she first
• 1:13:22
  moved in there. But any who.
• 1:13:24
  Something's gone wrong, I don't. Want to hear a single redeeming
• 1:13:27
  quality about these men? When their Dicks rub together,
• 1:13:30
  they're brothers and their Dicks touched.
• 1:13:35
  Literally so. And I.
• 1:13:37
  Think they're uncles molester, But anyway, most porny is
• 1:13:42
  definitely Denna Vipers. I thought praise because of the
• 1:13:45
  sex club. The sex club, but I know Denna
• 1:13:48
  Vipers technically is, but remember they had that whole
• 1:13:52
  voyage room. Yeah, the Voyeur Room voyeur.
• 1:13:55
  Room, Yeah. And they were just, she was in
• 1:13:58
  the room and with that other girl on I.
• 1:14:00
  Just think as a book, I was being assaulted by Dicks every
• 1:14:04
  page with Jenna Fiber's. Not only were you being
• 1:14:06
  assaulted by Dicks, you'd be insulted by knives, water
• 1:14:09
  bottles. Yeah, the whole gamut the.
• 1:14:12
  Whole. There's not a single thing that
• 1:14:14
  didn't make it into that girl's coochie.
• 1:14:17
  And there was no bigger plot. That was the plot.
• 1:14:21
  That was the plot. Usually it's a book fatiguing
• 1:14:24
  oh. Yeah.
• 1:14:24
  And in a book like this, the B plot is the romance or the porn.
• 1:14:28
  Yeah, the porn was the a plot for dinner Pipers.
• 1:14:31
  Like they were like, how do we get this porn scene and this
• 1:14:34
  porn scene to match up? That's all it was.
• 1:14:36
  Yeah, it was like every 3 pages that was and it was too.
• 1:14:39
  Long, it was like 700 pages of porn.
• 1:14:42
  No one needs that much, no. One needs that much.
• 1:14:44
  OK, so honourable mention borderline groomy couple.
• 1:14:47
  We've kind of already covered this Archers voice.
• 1:14:50
  Yeah. Need I say more need really okay
• 1:14:53
  honourable mention. Craziest penis is from the
• 1:14:56
  worst. Sorry, The Wrong Pucking guy by
• 1:14:59
  CR Jane That. Shit that.
• 1:15:02
  Fucking. What's it called?
• 1:15:03
  The Jacob's Ladder he had. A Jacob's ladder.
• 1:15:06
  He had a wedding ring pierced. Into the tip of the epilogue, he
• 1:15:10
  got his. Dick stuck in it and then called
• 1:15:13
  his friend to get it out. And wasn't his Dick like 10 to
• 1:15:18
  12 inches? Yeah, come on now.
• 1:15:20
  Come on now. It's a horse, Dick.
• 1:15:22
  You know, it's really funny. There's this Zodiac Academy and
• 1:15:27
  they're like, it's fantasy, so there's a Pegasus whole thing.
• 1:15:31
  The guy that's a Pegasus gets a rainbow.
• 1:15:33
  Jacob's. Stop it.
• 1:15:36
  Absolutely stop it now. I have to read that.
• 1:15:39
  Again, no. God, I didn't know.
• 1:15:40
  That was still smart. Why did I think it was?
• 1:15:43
  It isn't. Isn't it's really long?
• 1:15:45
  It's like 8 books. I'll just drag.
• 1:15:48
  No, but it's probably. Worth it at the same time?
• 1:15:50
  OK, but any who, instead of just getting a wedding ring like a
• 1:15:55
  normal person, he just got it pierced in his fucking Dick
• 1:15:57
  hole. I just.
• 1:15:59
  I can't. I'm.
• 1:16:00
  Sorry I'm swearing so much. Dude, we have to swear.
• 1:16:04
  To get through this, he was the craziest penis that's ever been
• 1:16:07
  described in my life. And he was the one who was
• 1:16:10
  pretending to be her boyfriend. You can't.
• 1:16:12
  And she's just getting railed by this Jacob's Ladder penis.
• 1:16:15
  And then she's just like, oh. It's totally my current
• 1:16:18
  boyfriend. I know you kind of, he revealed
• 1:16:22
  it was him right before she knew.
• 1:16:24
  They didn't look that alike. I know.
• 1:16:28
  You can't tell me his Dick wasn't crusty.
• 1:16:32
  I just thought washing that every day.
• 1:16:34
  That's what I'm like. He's got all these extra holes
• 1:16:36
  to get infections in, and I feel like he's the wrong person to
• 1:16:39
  have that responsibility. I just have to look after his
• 1:16:42
  Dick a bit better, like. He's too busy being a stalker.
• 1:16:47
  OK, bum, bum, bum are nearly at the end.
• 1:16:51
  We've got our overall worst book and overall best book, so we're
• 1:16:55
  probably gonna have to do it overall worst book.
• 1:17:01
  Daisy Jackson 6. I hate it.
• 1:17:06
  I hate it so much. And I know, I know it has
• 1:17:09
  potential. I'm aware.
• 1:17:11
  It has. The greatest potential to be the
• 1:17:13
  best book because it is the 60s or 80s.
• 1:17:17
  It's rock, It's romance and I feel like the story's there, but
• 1:17:22
  I hate that it was written in an interview format because you get
• 1:17:25
  nothing but second hand theories and it pisses my pisses me off.
• 1:17:30
  Yeah, yeah. Pisses your pisser.
• 1:17:32
  Does it it? Pisses my pisser right into the
• 1:17:34
  pisser all. Right.
• 1:17:41
  Let's go. My pick.
• 1:17:42
  The Worst Hooked. Because.
• 1:17:45
  I was fucking hoodwinked. Bamboozled went astray by the
• 1:17:50
  whole plot. Because why?
• 1:17:53
  Why did I, fucking, as an innocent reader, pick this book?
• 1:17:59
  Excited to have a piratey adventure?
• 1:18:01
  Smart based on Peter Pan? Fuck.
• 1:18:03
  Me for thinking. That it would actually deliver?
• 1:18:06
  Yeah. Get fucked, Carla.
• 1:18:07
  Just get fucked. Because what?
• 1:18:09
  Why? Was a lie just.
• 1:18:10
  Why did we have a male main character based on Captain Hook
• 1:18:14
  who was fucking afraid of water? Cat lived in a houseboat but
• 1:18:19
  they kept the anchor down and he's like, I hate it.
• 1:18:24
  Bitch. Who are you are?
• 1:18:28
  You and what have you done with the port of Peter Pan?
• 1:18:32
  But shit on it and steal the character names.
• 1:18:34
  That's it. I want a refund.
• 1:18:37
  I want my time back. Yeah, I want reimbursement.
• 1:18:40
  To be fair, for the lot of books we've read this year, I want my
• 1:18:43
  time and mine space back. Though I feel like we read books
• 1:18:48
  kind of fast, we do. It's worthies.
• 1:18:50
  I feel like it's worthies for us to be able to rag on everything
• 1:18:53
  afterwards. And some people actually listen
• 1:18:57
  to our podcast and don't read the.
• 1:18:58
  Books. Which I don't know how you're
• 1:19:00
  getting. The plot out of what we told
• 1:19:02
  there is no plot. In any of these books?
• 1:19:04
  Are you kidding? No.
• 1:19:05
  But. People listen to ours so that
• 1:19:07
  they don't have to read the book, but we're not explaining
• 1:19:10
  things properly. Time.
• 1:19:14
  We're just running on pure adrenaline and I hope and we
• 1:19:17
  remember right. Just get getting all the facts.
• 1:19:19
  Wrong. But to be fair, if you're
• 1:19:21
  listening to our podcast, it's only one hour, so you can waste
• 1:19:25
  up to 20 hours on some of these books.
• 1:19:27
  So economical, Economical. It's kind.
• 1:19:30
  Of the better choice time. Is money all?
• 1:19:32
  Right. Let's go your pick for overall
• 1:19:35
  best book. Grounded.
• 1:19:39
  Yeah, the diamond. In the rough.
• 1:19:44
  It is a beautiful book. Go.
• 1:19:45
  Get it? I love it.
• 1:19:47
  It's amazing. Yep.
• 1:19:48
  There's nothing wrong with it. There's no nothing.
• 1:19:52
  Yep. Honorable mention.
• 1:19:53
  Done and dusted. Yay.
• 1:19:54
  Yeah, we love. We love.
• 1:20:00
  Beautiful. Now Are you ready to be pissed?
• 1:20:04
  Off. I know, my overall sorry, best
• 1:20:08
  book. Daisy.
• 1:20:13
  Jones, deranged. You're actually deranged?
• 1:20:16
  I'm. Psychotic it.
• 1:20:18
  Makes no sense. OK.
• 1:20:21
  This just goes to show you how books are so subjective.
• 1:20:25
  The reason why? OK, we all know that I love a
• 1:20:29
  depressing book. It's just what I like.
• 1:20:31
  I like what I like. It's fair.
• 1:20:34
  It's the thing that's conflicting about it is you'll
• 1:20:36
  be like there's not enough smart there's.
• 1:20:38
  Nothing but I pick. It for the best book.
• 1:20:42
  Like what? OK, I don't care about the
• 1:20:44
  interview format because I'm psychotic and it doesn't matter.
• 1:20:48
  Yeah, the they put the time into the characters, and I actually
• 1:20:53
  cared about what happened to the characters.
• 1:20:55
  And Billy was the best villain. So in some way, I was fucking
• 1:20:59
  involved, you know, You know? What?
• 1:21:01
  That's what I mean when I say it has the potential to be the
• 1:21:03
  greatest book because they put that much time, but they could
• 1:21:05
  have put more time into writing it, yeah.
• 1:21:08
  I guess they wanted it to be ambiguous.
• 1:21:11
  You don't know the true story. That's the point.
• 1:21:14
  I suppose that's correct. Because you're supposed to come
• 1:21:18
  to your own conclusion of if they hooked up or not and blah
• 1:21:21
  blah blah blah blah like that's why they did it at a distance.
• 1:21:24
  But I just cared about what happened.
• 1:21:26
  To these characters more than other characters cause loads of
• 1:21:28
  other books had no character development it.
• 1:21:30
  Felt real. I feel like that's.
• 1:21:32
  Probably why, that's probably why.
• 1:21:34
  I. Gave a shit, which is hard to
• 1:21:35
  do. I'm disappointed.
• 1:21:39
  I'm. So.
• 1:21:42
  Sorry, but I get it at the same time.
• 1:21:44
  I get it at the same time. Because a lot of the time you
• 1:21:48
  hate books I like, and I hate books you like.
• 1:21:50
  And it just hey. Look it.
• 1:21:52
  Is what it is at least. This one didn't have a
• 1:21:55
  illiterate child, so. Fuck me.
• 1:21:58
  So you can just forgive me I. Never want to read Where the
• 1:22:01
  Crawl Dark. I hate it so much you.
• 1:22:05
  Hate. It she.
• 1:22:06
  When she made me read that last year, I nearly quit.
• 1:22:09
  I nearly quit. I straight up nearly quit it.
• 1:22:11
  Was one of the most popular books of the year.
• 1:22:13
  It's a lie. Well, she got there in the end.
• 1:22:17
  I. Get why it's popular.
• 1:22:19
  Don't get me. Wrong.
• 1:22:19
  I just hate it breathing it. I know.
• 1:22:23
  Whiny. You know what?
• 1:22:24
  Though being in that book was uncomfy because I could just
• 1:22:28
  feel the humidity, the smogginess, the hotness, the
• 1:22:31
  dance, the swamp mozziness. Smell the.
• 1:22:34
  Smells. The grossness, the lack of
• 1:22:37
  hygiene, All of it. I felt it.
• 1:22:39
  I felt like I was there. I.
• 1:22:42
  Felt like I was living in the swamp.
• 1:22:45
  Was it a swamp or was it it? Was a marsh.
• 1:22:48
  Damn it. That's the whole issue.
• 1:22:51
  Oh my God. Honourable mention Justice for
• 1:22:53
  Garry. For gonna be a.
• 1:22:57
  Garry he was. Just trying to live honourable
• 1:23:00
  mention for the most sidelined secondary character in the
• 1:23:04
  world, which is Gary Slash Margaret.
• 1:23:07
  From he was. Just trying to go to his 9:00 to
• 1:23:09
  5:00. Feed the kids and all he wanted
• 1:23:12
  was a fucking. Coffee.
• 1:23:14
  And Wendy couldn't even do that. The good is this Wendy he just.
• 1:23:17
  Flopped. He was.
• 1:23:18
  Just like it was he was. Giving minor.
• 1:23:21
  Inconvenience. Like he just had the roughest
• 1:23:24
  week. Oh Oh my God, his kids were
• 1:23:27
  probably sick at. Home he spent.
• 1:23:29
  I've given it to him. He spent all night.
• 1:23:31
  With his kids, so his wife was asleep.
• 1:23:38
  Gary. Yeah, he was the only
• 1:23:41
  redeemable. Character in the whole book.
• 1:23:44
  RIP Gary RIP. Fly high, baby, fly high.
• 1:23:49
  Baby Goryel, he's. Our best character.
• 1:23:52
  Oh my God. If you have no.
• 1:23:54
  Idea what we're talking. About you have to go listen to
• 1:23:56
  our. Full episode of all sort of
• 1:23:58
  might make sense. Whoa.
• 1:24:00
  That is it. How do we feel?
• 1:24:08
  That's that's all, folks. How do we feel?
• 1:24:11
  Yeah, how do? We feel exhausted.
• 1:24:13
  Drained. Drained mentally.
• 1:24:16
  Unstable. Yeah.
• 1:24:18
  Physically done, I cannot. Wait until.
• 1:24:23
  We. Do the plotties.
• 1:24:25
  Next year? Yes.
• 1:24:26
  Oh my God, Can you imagine that? The.
• 1:24:29
  Stories. We are going to read between now
• 1:24:31
  and then, Yeah, it's fucking insane.
• 1:24:34
  I'm already New Year's resolution.
• 1:24:36
  Keep going. Keep on.
• 1:24:38
  Keep. On keep on SO.
• 1:24:43
  That's it. Thanks for.
• 1:24:44
  Joining us. For.
• 1:24:45
  Our first ever Plotties awards. Don't forget to rate US five
• 1:24:50
  stars and subscribe. If you enjoyed Slide into our
• 1:24:53
  DMS on Tiktok or Instagram, Lose The Plot podcast.