Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #264 The Birds & The Bees

Transcript

#264 The Birds & The Bees · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's a little bit of movement upstairs. Someone's having sex upstairs.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Business time.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: It's business.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: We don't know what is upstairs.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: It's business time.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: We have to just give a warning.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, baby, it's business time.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: To the listeners because Vic is not here.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: So anything could happen. Up late with Maddie and Ash.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Who knows what we'll talk about.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Take your pants off.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: We're currently sitting in the studio naked.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Pour yourself a cup of tea.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Two Doting Dads. I am Matty J.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ash.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: the good, it is the bad.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: And the relatable.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: And if you come for advice, definitely not in this episode.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: No.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: No.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: This is a housekeeping episode. So there could be a
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: nugget or two, but not from us. Not from us.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Ash, I've got something that you're going to love right here.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: This was sent in on the Facebook group, and there
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: is a new type of bedding available that is right
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: up your alley.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. What have we got?
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Your family, I think, would be the king and queens
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: of this game. Uno bed sheets from Spotlight.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Very good.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah. What's the RRP on that?
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: That's an ad, this one.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I'm sure it's very reasonable.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: If it's from Spotlight, one of my favorite stores, would
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: be very reasonable. And I think, look, we had a
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: bit of a meltdown over Uno last night. So it's
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: a bit raw. I mean, I cried myself to sleep.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Who lost?
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Who won? April came barnstorming home last game. We did
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: double points. And Oscar had already just had a meltdown
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: from losing game two. And I was like, please, win
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: game one. Let him win game three, please. And then
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: April just smoked everyone. Just walked around the house like.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: And what?
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: What are you going to do about it?
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: The royal rules. Punching people. But tonight's a new, it's
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: a fresh day for Uno.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Whoever wins gets the Uno bed sheets.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: I can't give it to one and not the other.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: You know the rules.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Didn't you put a photo up about new bed sheets
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: at your place? And you were sending it in a
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: group chat with April and she was like, no fucking chance, bro.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: What was it? What kind of bed sheets was it?
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: A Red Bull one.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Red Bull.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Red Bull Racing. I was like, I sent a message
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: to her saying, can we get these? And she was like,
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: absolutely not. And I was like, do you hate me?
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Why do you hate me? I can't do anything.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: I mean, we couldn't have the Uno ones on ours,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: but the kids love that.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Ash, this is... This podcast is getting very political.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, where did this come from?
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, bear with me here. This is not for you.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: This is for the listener. Okay.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: So you take five.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, thank God. Okay, there is encouragement right now, encouragement
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: for parents to share their experience of early parenthood and
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: to give more info on what they need in terms
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: of more support. So as part of the Albanese Labor
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Government's new Senate Select Committee on Women's Health, they do
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: an inquiry to look at how Australia can improve women's
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: health care with a focus on pregnancy, postpartum care, maternal
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: mental health. And so people, like experts, give their ideas
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: on like what do you need And then parents be like, hey, well,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: this is what I needed and I didn't have it.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: So maybe you guys can look at it and make
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: it available afterwards.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Gotcha. So they're crowdsourcing their work.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: They're crowdsourcing. Well, it's like a yearly review.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: You don't just want the expert. You want people with
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: the experience.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: To give what they need.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah. Show notes. I'm guessing there's more information.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: I'm going to put the link. Okay. You guessed it
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: in the show notes. If there was one thing that
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: you needed more of yourself.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Show notes. Definitely need more of those.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: I'll submit that.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I'm sure they'll be very confused. You need one thing.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: What do you want more of?
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Time.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Yes, also a very good suggestion.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Right up there with the show notes.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's better than the show notes. What did I
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: really need? Oh, where does it end? I don't know.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: It's probably an April question. What did she really need?
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: What did you need? I want what you needed. You
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: have one thing, one thing only. Bit of a piece
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: of quiet? I don't know.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm on the spot. What did you need?
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: I want more of those towels from the hospital.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: From the hospital. That's what I want too.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: And I want to get more swaddles. More towels and
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I think, okay, do you know what? This is what
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I want, all right? When you're taking your kid to
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: get vaccinated, I just want the GP. They do great work.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I want the GP to be on time. That's what
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: I want. That's what would make life easier.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Never going to happen. Sorry, too hard.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: I just think even when I've made an appointment first
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: thing in the morning, because obviously at the end of
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: the day, Ash, they're running late over time, lots of
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: many different appointments. It's easy to happen. But then what's
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: your excuse when you've got an eight o'clock appointment or
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: nine o'clock appointment and you've just opened up? How are
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: you late then?
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like they just set the standard. I think
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: parents should get free coffee from McDonald's as soon as
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: they give birth. Or something similar, like a similar restaurant.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I just threw McDonald's out there as
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: an example. Like a pension card.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: For parents.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: A parent's card for coffee. Write it down, Vic.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Vic's not here.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Dammit. We have the best ideas when you're not here.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Vic will be like, what did I miss? We're like, oh,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: we can't remember?
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: She's going to edit this.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: She'll hear it.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: I think, yeah, like a parent coffee card.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: A parent card. And it's applicable at any cafe.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: Or just an array of discounts at different places. A
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: coupon book. A parent's coupon book.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Very good.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: From the government. It'd be like, one free vote for Labor.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: So when you get your pregnancy parent pack, you give
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: them birth and they give you like a little bag,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: a little satchel bag. And in that, like, oh, don't
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: lose the card, the parent card, because it's free coffee.
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Or even discounted coffee, $ 2 coffees.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Come on. Don't wind it back.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, free.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Put it back on small business.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let's really run them into the ground.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Put it back into the petrol stations.
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: The petrol stations have to give free coffee.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Yep. If you've got a baby seat, like a baby
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: seat detector, we're getting way too in. Don't do that
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: with your ear. Sorry. For those listening, Matt can do
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: this thing with his ear where he kind of claps
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: with his eardrum.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Moving right along.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: It's like April with her big toe clicks. It's such
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: an ick. I can hear it from the lounge room.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Speaking of April.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Speaking of. Let's give April a call. She might be asleep.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Let's try it. Because she's had a big couple of days.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Big. Living the dream, April. She's like, she'd be asleep
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: in front of reality TV.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: What would she be watching right now? Housewives?
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Nah, I reckon. Let's give her a quick call. Find
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: out what's going on in the touch football world.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: First game this week?
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Second it was. Second.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Did they win the first game?
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Wooden spoon.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Okay. She's definitely asleep. Right now she's like, who the
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: fuck is calling me?
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Hello? You're awake. Just.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Is that the ageless athlete? Oh, it is.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: We are calling today to see how you're going with
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: touch football. Like I know, but Matt is curious how
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: the ageless athletes are going.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Your boots look good.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Look, I look good and that's where it stops. Oh,
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: don't be so hard on yourself. I've seen you with
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: balls in your hand.
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: Nice. Yeah, no, it's good fun. But can I just
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: say both games so far have been against 15-, 16-year-old
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: high school girls.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: What? So they're out to, like, what's the saying?
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah. They want glory. They want glory.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Have you entered the wrong competition? Why are they so young?
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: They are.
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: But, no, apparently, like, it's mixed women's all ages. But
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: there is a team called Bad Mums. So there's another
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: mums group out there. We just haven't played them yet.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, Bad Mums.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: They're really teen mums.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: They sound naughty.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: They're really teen mums.
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: They're like, we're 16 and got three kids each.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: But, no, it's a lot of fun.
• 8:33
  Speaker 6: It is.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I'm glad I did it. What was the score of
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: the game just gone? I know you don't like to
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: talk about it because it was a bit of a trollopin'..
• 8:41
  Speaker 6: I don't want to talk about it.
• 8:42
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Okay. Did you, have you scored a try yet?
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: No.
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: I saw, I did see, and credit to you, April,
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: I did see first game. There was, Zach was down there.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: He took a video. Zach is a professional coach.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Is he there scouting? What's he up to?
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: No, he just wanted to see the girls run around
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: because his wife's on the team.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Ah, cute.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: And there was a, there is a little video of
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: April scooting the ball and running across field. So yeah,
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty impressed. And I'm proud. And I'm proud. I'm
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: very proud.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: I'm also very proud.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: We have one athlete in the family.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Her name is April. Mum lead.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Good luck.
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: Oscar wants to be our coach.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Put him on the field.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: What have we got? Mixed ages or mixed genders?
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: He wanted to like so badly be subbed in on
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: Monday night.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Bless him. So when do you come up against the
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: other mum team? Because maybe we want to rally get
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: behind you a little bit here.
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'll have to let you know. We don't really
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: find out. Like there's not a draw until like a
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: few days before.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: What we'll do is we'll touch base with you again
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: when I'm at home because we live together and we'll
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: keep tabs on it. We want to make sure we
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: document your first win.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Keep up the great work.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Okay. Bye-bye.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: What was the score? 7-0.
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: Oh!
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: In rugby league terms is nearly 60. It's like what?
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can't be first in the bloody teenagers.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's very fair.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: Ash, I've got something which you may not know this.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: A couple of weeks ago, we talked about Poppy. She's
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: almost turning one. That went fast. Didn't it just? I
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: believe she had conjunctivitis.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Went to the pharmacy. Guy said, we don't do eye
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: drops for infants. Got to be two years old. Can
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: give you a little wipey thing.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Like a wipe?
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Okay. Here's a wipe.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: It was like a pH balance wipe or it had
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: some kind of fancy name where it wasn't just any
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: old wipe.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: To like help clear the gunk.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Clear the gunk.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Because it is.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Horrible.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Horrible. Waking up.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: And they're just like glued shut.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Even like as an adult, if it happens, you're like,
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: oh my God, I'm blind. I can imagine Poppy waking up.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: He doesn't know any different.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: So confused.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: So she'd be like, is it dark or is it
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: my blood?
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: What the fuck is going on?
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden she's like, oh my God,
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: the light. And I just feel it.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Peel them open in the shower. Awful stuff. But someone
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: in the Facebook group, Facebook's going off. And he says...
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: We found when our little ones had it, talking about conjunctivitis,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: it was tit liquid boob milk, which does the trick.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Squirt it straight on there, fix within a day or two,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: tit liquid for the win when it's available for you.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Tit liquid?
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Tit liquid.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Okay. Scientific name for that would be breast milk.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Tit liquid.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Just a straight up nip lick.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: So there you go. Obviously difficult for us.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Great for chili in the eyes too.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Is it tit liquid?
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Tit liquid. Any sort of utter liquid.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Cum is also.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Cum's great. I doused myself in oat milk when I
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: got chilli in my eye. I was long life milk.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: I had April going back and forth to the pantry.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: I was like, give me another bottle of that.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: Surely oat milk's not doing nothing.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: Nah. It's high in calories.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you, Brent. Who sends it in?
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I've got another thing here. What's the question? actually, from
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: a dota in the Facebook group. Dimity. Thank you, Dimity.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Hi, Dimity.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: For those of you who are confused, housekeeping is all
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: about you guys, so that's why we're reading from people. So, Dimity,
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: how long did you spend in the hospital after having
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: a baby? I had my son in a public rural hospital.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, God, good luck.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: Did a vet deliver it, did they?
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Take it out. Take it out. We love rural.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: We love rural doctors. I had my son in a
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: public rural hospital. Mudgy, beautiful part of the world.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Lovely part of the world. A shout out to all
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: medical workers in rural Australia.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: It's too late.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Keep it up.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: I can't crawl back now.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Keep up that great work.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: I'm on a list out there. If I turn out,
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: they're like, oh.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Please, I've cut my arm. No, fuck you.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: I've cut it off. And were told to stay as
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: long as I needed. I decided to stay until my
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: milk came in, which was three days. That's not taking
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: the piss. All up five days from when I was
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: first induced. Do you get kicked out early in bigger hospitals?
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: I would say yeah. Well, let's start with you. Let's start.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Dimity is asking Matt first.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: When I gave birth, look, I remember for Marley, who
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: was up first, we had a bit of a crappy setup.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Great public hospital. Shout out to Randwick Women's. Amazing work.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: The hospital or just women in general?
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: Both. Shout out to all hospitals and women.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Well, there's a couple out there.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: So we had a room, luckily, where it was a
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: private room in the public system. We like weaseled our
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: way into that room.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: Must be nice.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I can't really talk about it because we'll get to
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: mine in a moment.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: And then, you know, I had a god awful bed.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: You poor thing.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Thank you. And it was a pretty like.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: It was a bed though.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: It was a pretty brutal experience. You know, Laura, I'm
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: sure she doesn't mind me saying, had an episiotomy. So
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: they had to make a couple of incisions. And I
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: remember the morning after, we had one night, the morning
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: after she was like, well, let's get out of here.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Laura was.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: I've got emails to get to.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I've got to be at Tony May at five.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: And so we got home pretty quick. But I guess
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: it's easy with your first one because coming home is great.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Different with Lola because you're coming home to another child
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: and that was probably the biggest regret that Laura says
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: is trying to get home too quick into a household
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: with another small baby who doesn't understand when you're also
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: trying to recover.
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: And then how did you go with Poppy?
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: So Poppy, we went private.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: Poppy's the private baby.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: She's getting the baby. It's just weird because normally the
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: third baby gets the dregs.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: Changing the tide? No.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Changing the tide.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: Changing the tide.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: It's the change of the tide.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, the third child now gets spoiled instead of forgotten.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: But we decided that, well, Laura decided that she was
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: going to stay in there. I think she had four nights.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: And I was like, this place is lovely. Like the
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: lady walks past and she's like, oh, do you want
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: afternoon snacks? I've got tea, biscuits.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: It's like being in a hotel. Like being.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Obviously, there is the traumatic part prior, which is giving birth.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: They're delivery suites. This is the hotel part.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: It's like it's a hotel where you get beaten up
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: before checking in.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Well put. We did both private and it was at
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: the MARTA.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: What's the MARTA like? What's the MARTA with you?
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: There is nothing a MARTA with the MARTA. It is
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: like being in a hotel. I was like, I can
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: get used to this. Room service. You can get. Room service.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: And they were like, they give Laura a meal and
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: they'd be like, oh, do you want one? And I
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm sure we got charged for it all.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: But I was like, yes.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: They were delish.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: When we checked out, they were like, sir, how do
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: you want to fix this up? I'm like, we just
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: had a baby. How dare you?
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: We are tired, exhausted. So I think both times, like
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: four or five nights from what I remember, the first
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: we had a family room. Yeah. So in the hospital,
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: there is one corner room. And we got put in
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: that room because the first night.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: You whizzled your way in there.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: No, no. The first night.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Give me the penthouse.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: We were in the shit house, actually. We were in
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Gen Pop because there were so many babies that day.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: Lots of babies. So we ended up in Gen Pop
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: in a room. Still a nice room. Still fine. But
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: one night down there where it's not overly child friendly.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: There's people hustling and bustling up and down still because
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: it's a hospital, right? And people are sick.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Well said.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: And I'm not going to be like, oh, shut up.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Stop dying. I've got a child.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Could you die quieter?
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like. That's better.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Thank you very much.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Going down the cancer ward and you're like, guys.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Guys, do you mind?
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Do you want to keep it down?
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Look, the lung cancer ward is real noisy.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Sorry. Sorry.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know if we can keep that in, but
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: we will. So then we got moved up into the
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: corner room, which was a big, Double bed. Yeah. But
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: here's the fucking kicker.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: What?
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: It inclines. You know how they sit mum up to feed?
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: So guess who gets inclined at the same time? So
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: I'm asleep like this. Yeah. Fuck knows what time it
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: is in the morning.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: April, do you mind?
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: No, it's not her. It's the beautiful midwife who's doing
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: an amazing job. And honestly, I shouldn't be complaining, but
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: I'm going to. It is a big double recliner bed. Okay,
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: great for the oldies at home if they get out
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: of the bed at the same time.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: All the grandparents right now are like, I love them.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I bloody love that.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: So I'm like asleep and then the fucking light comes
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: on It's like the lights in the studio here, it's
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: like I'm down the fucking produce aisle in Coles.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, shit, oh, and then, and I'm like
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: up with April like this, like, seriously? And April's like,
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: shut up.
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: I'm like, fair, fair, but the double-inclined bed. People will
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: be complaining about the armchair that they sleep in. Sleep
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: on an inclined bed.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Am I right?
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Am I right? Like three every two hours.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: And your corner room, which is like 50 square metres.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: I know. And the jacuzzi was so small.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: The sauna was lovely though. I forgot about the double-inclined
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: bed until just now.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: I never knew you had that experience.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: I don't. Well, you're hearing it for the first time.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: But I do remember just the lights are extra bright.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: And then have you ever been to the nursery where
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: they keep them? The baby, that is.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: The nursery.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: I'm talking newborn nursery where it's like, okay, well, mum
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: needs a rest because she's just pushed.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Actually, I do remember one of the rooms with Marley
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: in the public system.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: And it's just bright lights. All these babies are asleep.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: And it's like I could never sleep in that. Even
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: if I was a baby, I'd be like tossing and turning,
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: I think. I don't know. But that's what it's like
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: when they came into feed. It was like high beams,
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: like boom. And, like, they're ringing in the ear.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I don't want to tell them how to do their job,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: but just try to turn the lights off.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: Just can't you... Dim them? Can't you breastfeed in the dark?
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: I don't want to get in trouble by the mums
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: of this world. Actually, before we end on that note
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: real quick.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: If you, as a listener listening right now, and you
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: have a... fun story about staying in the hospital long
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: or something.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Or if you got kicked out oh yes if you're
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: getting chicken winged out of the hospital they're like get
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: out of here yeah it's just.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Like ah that guy it's like.
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: A succulent chinese meal is getting kicked out of a hospital.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: I have to say happy birthday to Poppy. Oh, yeah.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: What September?
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: 24. Okay. It is wild, isn't it? How different your
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: first child's first birthday is versus your The latter one.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Well, he got the private hospital, so.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Suck it up.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: She came out in like.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: She was like, ah, reclining beds.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: It's all up from here.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: No, it's not. No, it's not.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: All your clothes are hand-me-downs. I was thinking back to
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: when Marley had her first birthday and we invited everyone over.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: So exciting.
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: I think we had little bickies that were like, Marley. Really? Yeah.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: You do go a little bit all out when it's
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: the first.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: It's a bit OTT. And then Lola, not so much. Poppy,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: we'll just go to the RSL.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: You forgot a birthday altogether. You're like, oh, do you
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: know it's Poppy's birthday today?
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: So happy birthday to little Poppy.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Yes, happy birthday, Poppy. Now we've got a message here. Well,
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: it's a message to you because it's addressed to you
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: from someone by the name of Hayley.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: Hayley, yeah. Look, she's got– Hayley, I appreciate the message.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: A lot of people, we talked about the freezer, the
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: issue with the freezer– My freezer has a drawer. The drawer,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: the double drawer.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. It's the drawer to open. The drawer, no door.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Or is it door, then drawer?
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: It's drawer into a drawer in the freezer.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Drawer meets drawer.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: No doors.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Terrible.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: And that's the problem.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Terrible.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: We're missing the door, then drawer.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Freezers need a door, right?
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: Like ours. Door, drawer, drawer, two ice drawers. So doors
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: to drawers situation, I think.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Well done on that decision.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: It was an accident.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: You were April.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: That's what I ended up with. You're lucky. It was
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: the only fridge that fit.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: And just count your blessings, Ash.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Thank you. You don't really think about these things until
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: you get to this age where you're like.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And now you're faced with what I have, which
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: is a fucking fridge, freezer that always breaks down. You've
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: got to defrost it. But Hayley says she's, I'm assuming
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: she's got a draw draw. She gets the hairdryer. And
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: it speeds up the process. So you put the hair
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: dryer and it defrosts. So there's a little vent and
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: it frosts over, freezes. Can't suck the air in, Ash.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: The hair dryer comes on.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Ah, to melt it.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: To melt it.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: I have one of those little bar fridges with a
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: little freezer corner. You know those things?
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like in the hotel room. Yeah.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Anyway, you think that's useless. They're never cold enough. You
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: think that. Dude, I had one one time. I had
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: a beer bottle in there and it literally surrounded the
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: beer bottle in ice.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, freezers do that, yeah.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's a fridge freezer and I think there's
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: no way it can be that cold.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Never underestimate the fridge freezer.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: So, yeah.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: That's what I always say.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: This is a podcast all about fridge freezers.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a word of warning to all the parents out there.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: Another thing I've got here is something I want to
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: read you. Because we don't have Vic in the studio today,
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: I thought I'd better do my own news, breaking news.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: So we've got a news theme. Good evening. This one
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: is more like an FYI. I'm not sure for.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: Those out there. Or I guess maybe if there are
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: any men who are single and they listen to the
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: pod and they go, I really want to find someone
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: to have a kiss with.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: And looking for cash.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: And go on.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Women in Latvia are willing to pay $ 3, 000 a month
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: to rent men due to a shortage of men.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: How much? $ 3, 000 a month.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's pretty good.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Is that Latvian dollars?
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Should I check the conversion?
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what's that, like 50 cents?
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: Latvian to AUD.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Latvia's a lovely country.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: It's a Euro.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Perfect.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: They're in Euros? Bro, that's only five grand a month. Sorry, April.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: I'm going. I'm going. That's only five grand a month.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: That's good money.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: That is outstanding money.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: There's a shortage of Latvian men?
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. What do you think?
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Why? What's happened? It's a trick.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: It's something they're not telling us.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: It's a trick. Don't be fooled.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: It just says shortage of men due to shortage of men.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: That'll do it.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: All right. Well, there you go. You've been informed.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: Is Vic's breaking news segment at risk of being taken over?
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: No.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Mine are always stupid.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: You're a smart boy.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Thank you. What have we got next?
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: It's time for this.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Now you need us more than ever. Know that we
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: still have each other. You can send us your doting dilemma.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: You can send us your doting dilemma. Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: Doting dilemma. This segment is where our doters send in
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: any problems they may or may not be having. Why
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: would you send in a problem you may not be having?
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know. But we try and fix it.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Letting you know that I do not have a problem
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: with my fridge. Thank you.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Great.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: We don't try and fix the problem. We just talk
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: about it. We don't have any genuine solutions.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: We do fix. That's what we do here. We fix
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: people's lives, Ash.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Don't expose us to being responsible.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: For fixing people's lives. No, because then people will be like,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: we feel like, well, we don't fix it, then no
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: one's going to send in the problem. We don't have
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: the problems. We don't have the segment.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: I feel like if we talk about it, then people
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: mail in with a fix. And then they're on the
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: chopping block when it gets tits up.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Well, sometimes they mail in.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Do you want to start? That's quite a lot.
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: From Anon.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: My husband and I just welcomed our first baby in March. Congratulations. Yes. Anon.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: That's a lovely name.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Beautiful name. Anon Jr. My husband has been at the
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: same company for 26 years. That's a great innings. One
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: of the largest employers in Australia. Who would it be?
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: What was? Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Working
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: his way from trolley boy to regional manager of 11 locations.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: That's the Australian dream right there. He asked to take
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: three months parental leave and was told yes. Then three
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: days before his last day, he was told his role
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: was terminated. A few weeks later, he was out of
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: the company after 26 years. So we decided to take
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: off in a caravan and do a lap of Australia
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: while we were having the time. Our bub is six
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: months next week and having both of us off for
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: his first whole year at least has been amazing. Don't
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: get me wrong. The situation has turned out to be
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: great for us to be able to do all this,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: but still absolutely shocking for his company to do that.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: I kept thinking if this was mum, I don't think
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: they would have ever have dared to have done that.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: So why is it okay to do it for dad?
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: I just think like I've had a lot of jobs,
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: as you know. Okay. Just a couple.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: What was the job you mentioned yesterday that I didn't
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: know about?
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know, but there's one I haven't told you
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: about where I only lasted one day.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: No, you were the fucking Blacktown staff manager. No, no.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Blacktown City Council.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: I used to look after all the contractors in every council.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: In what region?
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: New South Wales and North Queensland. I was just good
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: with people, bad with everything else. But I have worked
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: in a lot of businesses and I'll say they don't
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: give a fuck about you. Yeah. Like full stop. Like
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: they don't care. Like that is horrible. But no one
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: in that company lost sleep over this.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: No. No.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: So, I mean, I get what you're saying.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Actually, you're a HR expert.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: Not expert.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: I've got some knowledge.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: You don't like the pressure of the expert title.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: The thing is, right, there are so many gray areas
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: and loopholes within human resources. Little favor the business.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: But for anyone who doesn't know, Ash worked in HR
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: for how many years, Ash?
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: A couple, a few years, several years.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: So can you find, if someone says, I want to
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: take Matt leave.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not. You cannot fire that person. But what's happened
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: here is that the position has been made redundant by
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: the sounds of things.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: He's a like, he's a manager of 11 locations.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Doesn't matter.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I guess they could say that.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: They could be absorbed by someone else. That's the thing.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: Internal policy. Here we go. Internal policy favors the internal,
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: which is the business. All right. But fair work would
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: favor the worker.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Hmm.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: So in that instance, if, I mean, silver lining for them, great.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: And they would have got paid out by the sounds
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: of things. 26 years is pretty decent. I'm not sure.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: It's just an assumption. And if not, I'm sorry about that.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: But I'm glad that it worked.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Out for you.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: But there are families out there it doesn't work out for.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: But the only thing I can say to do, if
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: you feel like you've been unfairly treated, fair work will
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: side with the work of 90% of the time.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: Do you have to pay fair work? How is it
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: fair work? They're just there. They're there to help you.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: It's government funded. It's government owned. It's government run. It's
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: a New South Wales fair work.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: Have you ever used fair work?
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: I haven't used it personally. I haven't had to use
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: it for me personally. My sister, she owns a small
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: business and she has had to go up against them
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: for something. And it's easier to just settle it.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Than it is to have the battle.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Because they'll side with the work. So for example, here's
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: an example.
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: Please.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: A casual worker, okay, my sister caught her red-handed stealing
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: on camera. Right. She was let go. She's a casual.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: There's not no more you think you'd have to do
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: with that. She went to fair work and said I
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: was unfairly dismissed, right, because I didn't know I was
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: being recorded even though the premises is all under surveillance.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: And I missed out on a month's worth of work
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: now and I would like to be paid that. It's
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: much easier for the business to just pay that than
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: to go through the legal process.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: The freaking nerve.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Because, I mean, it could be different now. And I
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: don't want to sit here and say. That's a standard.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: This is 100% correct what's coming out of my mouth.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: But my experience with seeing it in and around previous
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: jobs that you have rights as a worker, but not
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: within the company you work for. Because they will do
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: what's beneficial. Like, do you really think that, let's just
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: say this is, or worse let's just say that right
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: and it's like do you think they're ever going to
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: do anything that doesn't benefit them financially no so why
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: do why do people think oh you know we're a
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: family this is a family like we're a family here
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: trust me the people in that family would murder dad
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: real quick like just right?
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: This chat got dark very quickly.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: So, I mean.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: But the silver lining is, the silver lining is, like
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: I remember when COVID happened and work was completely dried
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: up and I was like, what do I do now?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: The silver lining being, being able to spend that time
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: without the distraction of work. to just enjoy time with
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: a newborn.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Amazing.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Amazing in this instance, but like.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: And the fact that you've taken, you've done the Australian dream,
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: the caravan trip.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: You definitely took advantage of a shit situation. There it is.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: Where I think like some people aren't going to have that.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: So if you're in this position and this happens to you,
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: of course, sorry, but also like you can't sit, not
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: all of them are going to be a silver lining
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: where you get to, yes, you'll get to spend more time,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: but then people live paycheck to paycheck.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: And, and, fuck the big guy take him to court.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah go to fair work just say hey this is
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: what's happened but they would have they would have gone
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: through their legals but you'll be really shocked with how
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: dumb hiring managers are how fucking dumb they are like
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: so like i used to have some of them ring
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: me up and go i don't like working with this
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: person anymore i'm like i'm gonna pretend i didn't hear
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: that because straight away you have no grounds to fire
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: this person because you don't like them you got bad
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: breath it doesn't work like that And they're like, I
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: don't care how it works. It's like, okay, well, let's
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: expose this business to a lawsuit.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm getting a little taste of corporate ash.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Circle back to that. And it's nice.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Just on that, I kept thinking it was, the last
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: sentence of that one was, would it be the same
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: if it was for mum? Probably not because it's way more,
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: they've got government funded maternity leave. that they are able
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: to tap into. So probably the business would have benefited
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: from that instead of making them redundant.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I swear I've heard of situations where mum
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: was going to take mat leave, giving birth, and then
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: she's lost her job because it got swallowed up.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: There's a couple of instances where I've seen it happen
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: where it's like someone's taken mat leave and they've decided
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: that they're not coming back.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: It's like Sarah Arbo from Today Show.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: She took mat leave, had a baby, gone, gone.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: But that's the thing. Sometimes I remember it would be,
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: we would have people take their mat leave and then
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: it would be, they just wouldn't come back because they
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: had decided to. Once they're out, they're like, but some
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: came back. But I think like when you're in that
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: transition of, in that transition of maternity leave and stuff
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: like that, and you don't have ears in the building,
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: there's always that uncertain of whether you still got a job,
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: even though legally you do. But I do recall a
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: lot of times there would be, a lot of people
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: just wouldn't come back. They would find other interests and
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: something they want to do Instead of being your corporate mum.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: Working sucks.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: Exactly right. It's like, fuck. But anyway, I would say
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: any expecting parent out there, learn what you're entitled to
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: is the biggest thing. And then also exercise your right
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: to include fair work.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: You're giving advice. I like it. Next question.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Next question or next dilemma. Also, sorry, just on the
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: back of that, Matt, before we go, reminder, there is
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: a link in our bio to sign a position. For
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: a position, a new role for you. A petition. A petition.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: There is a link in our bio for a petition
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: for what, Matt?
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: For the Parenthood. They're an organization that's advocating for longer
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: paid parental leave for both mom and for dad as well.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: So get behind it. It's a great cause. And hopefully
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: we'll change the nation.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: One employer at a time. All right. This one's from Chloe.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Do other parents feel guilty leaving their child with their
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: partner to do something for themselves? Even when you know
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: they're completely safe and happy, do you find yourself feeling
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: guilty for taking time for yourself? and then rushing whatever
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: you're doing because you feel like you should be getting home.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: Like you're physically away, but mentally still at home the
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: whole time. For context, our child is 18 years old.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: Just kidding.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: 18 months old.
• 33:24
  Speaker 6: I just wanted to see your reaction. You went like,
• 33:28
  Speaker 6: that's okay. For context, our child is 18 months old.
• 33:32
  Speaker 6: Is this just the season of parenting I'm in?
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: I know exactly that feeling because like both April and
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: I are really good at being like, hey, we need
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: to do like, hey, we'll go to the gym. And
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: then when she gets home to the gym, we're like,
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: we're always as a family, like, how was it? You know,
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: like to let her know that we are happy that
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: she's doing what, you know. So I think, first of all,
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: go easy on yourself because you're fucking parenting 24-7. If
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: you want to take an hour out, take the hour.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: 100%. Parent Guild is great sometimes in that when you
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: really can't be arsed, And there's moments where you're exhausted.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: A bit of parent guilt kind of gets you back
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: on the horse.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: Especially if it needs to be done, whatever it is.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, all right, I'll go to the park then. Exactly.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: It's like if you've been inside all day because it's
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: raining or whatever and you sort of already have no
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: motivation as a family, you're sort of like, it's raining.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: And then surprise, the sun comes out and the kids
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: are going mental and you're like.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: And the parent guilt's like, get up.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: You're not getting up because you want to.
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: You're getting up because you're like.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: So it's great for a little help and motivation when
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: you need it. But at the same time, it can
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: also be so detrimental. And I think it's so important
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: for any parent to know that you can take time
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: to do something for yourself, not for the kids. Just
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: do it to fill your own cup up.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It's important that you have your own thing because
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: as a parent, your kids, all of a sudden, everything
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: that's yours is not yours anymore. Like especially for mom,
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: your body's not yours anymore because you're getting, you're using
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: it to feed your child. You're picking up after him,
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: you're wiping bums, you're doing all these things. It's not
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: about you, but you still need to, I think you
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: still need to have your thing. So whatever that might be.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: So if you're like, I'm going to say it again,
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: I go for a walk, like such an easy, simple thing. Right.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: But you need something that's you. I think everyone does. Mom,
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: dad needs something that's yours to be able to go. Okay.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: And then I'm back.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Because Laura won't take time off on the weekend to
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: go to the gym. She's always, Laura's always saying, I
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: wish I had more time to go to the gym.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: She doesn't have time Monday to Friday. And I'm like,
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: just go on the weekend. And she's like, no, because
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: then that's the time for the kids. Like we try
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: as best as we can to clear the schedule on weekends.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: And that's just purely for us and the kids, quality
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: family time.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: That you're building. I feel like if you're not, if
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: you don't have that, If you're like, it's for the kids,
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: immediately your brain's then like on the negative note where
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: it's like, well, it's all for someone else and not
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: for me. You know what I mean? Like I get,
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: you might really, you're going to enjoy that whole weekend,
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: but you need, I feel like you need that time.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: And sometimes like we'll come home and I, I, one,
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: one time I was working on the weekend. I came
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: home Saturday afternoon and I was like, so. Did anyone
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: miss me? And they're like, shut up. We're watching TV.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: I was like, you didn't. Okay, great.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: Okay, great.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: So there's moments where I was like, gosh, those kids.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: I wonder how they're doing without me probably crying in
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: the corner right now.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: Dude, the other night we were coming home from Aladala
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: and I was like, well, it was getting to like
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: 7 o'clock by the time I was going to walk
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: in the door. It was like quarter past 7. I
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: was like, I felt like, oh, fuck, I've been gone.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: It's later than I thought I would be.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: The kids are struggling without me.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: All this thing and I walk in and fucking no
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: one was even there.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: Where were they? I'm like, where?
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: They haven't left. Yeah. They've bloody left me.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I knew it would happen.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: They all went to watch April Play Touch. Believe it
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: or not, they've survived without me. So just do yourself
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: a favour. Take half an hour or an hour to
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: do something you love because the people who love you
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: would want that. Fucking write that down. That down, Vic.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: Damn it.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: I keep looking over there. I'm like.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: When Vic listens to this episode.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: I will remember you.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: She's like, wow, what did the boys smoke before that record?
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: She's like, they've got all their clothes on. I can
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: sense it. One more from a non. Oh. Hey, Vic's
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: not here, so we can fart as much as we like.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: I've been farting all the time.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: Have you?
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: All record, yeah.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: No, I haven't noticed.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I'm very relaxed.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: It's just like, anyway, so. Okay. Anon.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: From Anon. At what age do you talk to the
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: kids about the birds and the bees, especially for boys
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: who are constantly touching their willies?
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: Anon or Anonhole?
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: It's not your best.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Not your best? This is a good one because Oscar
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: cannot keep his hands off it. So much so I'm like,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: you got to pee, bro.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's all kids, man.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't think it's time to have the chat.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: I think it's more if you're not in private, it's
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: probably best not to play with your private parts.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: Write that down.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: Write that down too, Vic. Oh, wait. You're not here. Sorry,
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: we told you not to be.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah. We didn't fire Vic.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: No. Her desk is empty.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: Because she's editing right now.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: She is at home editing.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: Shout out to Vic.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: But Dan's at home and the kids are at school.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: Oh. Vic, put the computer down.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: Enjoy yourself. You've earned it. Let us know how you go.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: I want to be a wet one. Sorry, Vic.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: All right. Yeah, because Oscar will not. And I'm always like, hey, dude,
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: do you got a wee? And sometimes it's like, oh, yeah.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Because he's like, majority of the time he's playing and excited,
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: having too good of a time. And, you know, kids
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: piss themselves. But you can see he's like, sometimes he's like,
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like, go pee. He's like, yeah, okay. And then
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: goes off to do it.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: Sometimes when the kids are doing a task that they
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: really enjoy when they were younger and they're like, what
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: are you doing? They're like, I just pissed myself. And
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like, why didn't you go to the toilet? Like, well,
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: I was really enjoying the task.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: This fucking puzzle. Yeah. Dad, you need to get a
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: load of this Lego. Tell you right now, it's so
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: good I just shit myself.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: Did you want to stop? I couldn't.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: I couldn't.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: And miss out on this?
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you what, I was staying within the lines.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: I was in the lines and I was like, you
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: know what, this could use a bit of piss.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: And then just carry on.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: It was just so good I couldn't stop. But other
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: times I'm like, hey, do you need to wait?
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: He's like, no.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: And he's like, Oh, it's actually itchy. And I was like, okay, fair.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: But then the other day I was like, Hey dude,
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: get your hand off your dick. Okay.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: Get it off.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: We're all hanging around, whatever. And he's like, yeah, but
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: it's really squishy. I was like, You got me there.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: But I guess you must have at least with April
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: being pregnant with Macy, you would have just kind of
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: said like not as a formal sit down, Oscar, this
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: is how there's a baby in mummy's tummy.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: Let the boy watch.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: But you would have just been like, oh, there's a
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: baby in mummy's tummy, right?
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm trying to remember how we explained it.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: Not to have attack of the boomers because we do
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: have a few boomer listeners and we love them and
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: we enjoy the company always.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: Always?
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, always. But was there ever like a legitimate
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: story when they were saying, oh, yeah, Stork's bringing the babies? Oh,
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: because it's a movie, Stork. Is that the movie? It's
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: actually a documentary. Or were boomers legit and like, this
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: will fix the, this is the answer to the question?
• 40:20
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: Is it kind of like an old saying, like just
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: to get out of the conversation? Like it's such a throwaway, oh,
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: But we would always say to the kids, like Marley
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: always understood that Laura had the baby, not me. Easy
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: mistake to make. And the baby was going to come
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: out of mummy's vagina. Like that was always just.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: But they've never, they never wanted to know more. Like
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: Marley's seven. She's never been like, well, hang on a sec.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: How'd it get in there?
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: How did it get in there?
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: I think it was the same with April. It was like, oh, daddy,
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: baby's in mummy's tummy. And then, yeah. And it was
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: never any more inquisitive to how it, Because remember that
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: they also had the cabbage patch babies, which threw another
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: lot of confusion in amongst. First you got the stalks
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: and you got the cabbage patches. And it's like at
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: the age that our kids are at, I don't think
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: it's really required now until it might be more in
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: that 10, 11, 12 region. Really?
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think at this stage, like we're just talking
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: about the basics. I think when Marley is probably, I
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: think when she's about like 8, 9, 10, then we'll
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: be talking a bit more honestly about the next phase
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: of her life, which is puberty. And then I think
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: in the early teenage years, I think that's when you
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: start to. I don't know.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: I'm not there yet. I guess there's going to be,
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: it's not always just up to the parent because at
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: some point at school, one of the kids is going
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: to be like, I fucking walked in on dad mounting mum.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: And eventually I got the, he's like, guys, gather around
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: and get this. You know? And like, there's going to
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: be a first time you find out and you're like, ugh.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: I remember there was a, I think it was grade
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: three and they were using the term stiffy. And I
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: was like, what does that mean? And they were like,
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: you don't know what it means. And I was like,
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: what is this word? And I remember being in the
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: car and I was like, mum, what's a stiffy? And
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: she was like, I'm not telling you. And then my
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: older brother, I was like, would someone please explain?
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: Just a confused little boy.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: What does it mean? And no one would tell me.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: And I was like, fucking hell. I couldn't get the
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: answer from anyone. But these days it's wild that they've
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: only now introduced the age restrictions on porn.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: When the internet came out, we were just like, well,
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: Guess I'll just watch some hardcore porn then.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: Why not? Whatever you want, really. It's all there. Kids,
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: if you're listening.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: How we bloody made it through life. Actually, you've made
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: a very good point.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: You've made a very good point that it's only just
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: become age-restricted. Have you gone through the age-restriction process of
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: any adult science?
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: No. I have.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: And I'm willing to talk about it.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: That's all we've got time for.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: Okay. Damn it. Damn, we will talk about that next
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: time though.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: Actually, because our kids are young. If you've got older
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: children and you've had the discussion, like fucking how do
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: you do it?
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we're not at that stage yet until
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: someone gets inquisitive within the house. I guess I wouldn't
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: just go like set it in the diary, talk about sex.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: So if you've got kids that are older than ours,
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: so older than seven. Teenagers. Say teenagers or even if
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: they're adults and you have a funny story about it,
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: How old were they when you had that proper conversation?
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: And how did it go down?
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: If it went well, great. Tell us. If it was awful, perfect.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: I just remember when I was like 12 or 13,
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: we used to have this school called St. Augustine's near us,
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: but we called it St. Orgasm's. And I said that
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: to my mum once and she was like, do you
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: want to know what an orgasm is? I was like, no.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: For 30 minutes she explained to me, tried to explain
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: to me what a fucking orgasm was.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: So that's love.
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: That's how I know about the birds and the bees.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: That's how I know about it. Because my sister, shout
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: out to Kate, friend of the pod, she found a
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: video in mum's wardrobe which was someone giving birth and
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: someone is narrating essentially what is happening.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Why does your mum have that video?
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: Because it was an educational video.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: Imagine finding that video and it's you.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: I think the person.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: And you're like, oh, what's this video? And it's just
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: like your mum. You're like, mum? And then she's pushing
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: you out. Oh. Right? That'd be weird. That'd be weird.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: But I remember one time, I can't remember how odd
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: I was, but we watched this woman give birth and
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my goodness me. I am so
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: glad I'm not a woman.
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know how you guys do it.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: Props. And we'll end this episode on a shout out
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: to the mums.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: Yes. But one other question I've got for the doters.
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: What did you find in your mum's cupboard? Can I
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: tell you what I found? Yeah. It was a birthday card.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: But on the front of it was like, happy birthday,
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to give you your Japanese blowjob. And
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: all it was, he opened it up and it was
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: a picture of a man and it was like a
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: cartoon and the female character on there was actually blowing
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: through the man's arsehole to give him an erection.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: Anyway, it was confiscated very quickly. But what did you
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: find in your mum's wardrobe?
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review. Subscribe.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: And follow us on social media.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: 2.0 Dads, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, or YouTube. Or you can
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: send us an email at hello at 2.0 Dads.com or
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: 2.0 Dads.com, the website.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: Well said. And we'll see you guys on Monday. No, Wednesday.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: There we go. Wednesday, yes.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: And well done to us for getting the episode done
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: without Vic. Yes.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: It's probably our best episode yet.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: There's already a lot in here.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: See you guys on Wednesday. See you.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: Bye. Bye.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: Bye. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.