Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Let’s Find This Girl A MAN!
Transcript
- 0:14Speaker 1: Hey, guys, it's Jana and I am back with my
- 0:16Speaker 1: bestie Pam, and we are going to talk all things
- 0:20Speaker 1: dating and how it's going.
- 0:22Speaker 2: For my girl.
- 0:23Speaker 1: All right, girl, let's dive back into our convo. So
- 0:26Speaker 1: whenever I ever get someone that DMS me about them
- 0:29Speaker 1: going through divorce, I'm so sad for them because I
- 0:32Speaker 1: know the feeling and we know how awful it is.
- 0:33Speaker 1: But I always end it with and I'm so excited
- 0:36Speaker 1: for you because there's going to be a brighter version,
- 0:39Speaker 1: a lighter version of yourself. You get to fall in
- 0:42Speaker 1: love again, you get to receive what you really deserve
- 0:47Speaker 1: and not settle for less. But that doesn't mean that
- 0:49Speaker 1: it's not hard in the process. And that is what
- 0:53Speaker 1: we continue on with this conversation, and you know, in
- 0:56Speaker 1: our walks and our talks, and that's why you know,
- 0:59Speaker 1: I'm excited talk to you about it because it is.
- 1:02Speaker 1: Dating isn't easy, no, but it doesn't have to be
- 1:06Speaker 1: horrible exactly. So I think there's the ebbs and the
- 1:10Speaker 1: flows right, So for you now that you have because
- 1:13Speaker 1: how many years now has it been too? Two years?
- 1:16Speaker 1: So you're two years divorced. When do you think actually
- 1:20Speaker 1: it's appropriate to start dating again. I never really follow timelines. Yeah,
- 1:26Speaker 1: I think it's like a feeling thing. But well, I
- 1:28Speaker 1: think you have to be honest with yourself.
- 1:30Speaker 3: I think, you know, like are we dating to mask
- 1:34Speaker 3: feelings and not processing things?
- 1:37Speaker 2: You know? Or maybe you know.
- 1:41Speaker 3: Somebody truly that you would really you know, like really
- 1:45Speaker 3: want to be in a relationship just happened to come
- 1:47Speaker 3: into your life at you know, maybe the two month mark.
- 1:50Speaker 3: I mean, I don't think there's like I don't like
- 1:52Speaker 3: to ever put timelines on it like that either. For me,
- 1:59Speaker 3: I didn't even really think about it, like when I
- 2:01Speaker 3: was getting divorced, and then like months and months after,
- 2:04Speaker 3: I didn't even really.
- 2:07Speaker 2: Again.
- 2:07Speaker 3: I was just like so focused on my growing my
- 2:10Speaker 3: company and my kids and traveling, like that's kind of
- 2:15Speaker 3: that's what I did. I didn't jump into dating. I
- 2:18Speaker 3: jumped into travel, right, that was my.
- 2:22Speaker 2: That's what I did.
- 2:24Speaker 3: And so I don't have an answer for that. For me,
- 2:28Speaker 3: it was it was a while, I mean, my goodness,
- 2:34Speaker 3: oh well eight months maybe or something. And it was
- 2:39Speaker 3: because of you anyway that even prompted me to entertain anything,
- 2:45Speaker 3: you know, So I probably wouldn't have like started until later.
- 2:50Speaker 1: Well, I just because I think it's one of those things,
- 2:53Speaker 1: like we said early on, it's it's a bit of
- 2:55Speaker 1: a numbers game, but it's also go out there and
- 2:59Speaker 1: feel the feelings of a big second. Like I when
- 3:03Speaker 1: I started dating, I was like, oh wow, people think
- 3:05Speaker 1: I'm actually I don't. Yeah, you know, I'm sure there's
- 3:08Speaker 1: this well feeling you get post divorce.
- 3:12Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, and sometimes you do need like a
- 3:15Speaker 3: stroke of your ego. I guess right after you know,
- 3:18Speaker 3: kind of a long you know, marriage or whatever. And
- 3:26Speaker 3: I whenever I did kind of start dating, I was
- 3:32Speaker 3: ready sure, like I felt good about it. I felt,
- 3:35Speaker 3: you know, just in a positive light. And I was
- 3:39Speaker 3: excited because for me, the type of energy I'm going
- 3:45Speaker 3: to put into something is exactly what I'm going to
- 3:47Speaker 3: get out of it. So I am never going to
- 3:50Speaker 3: be like this sucks.
- 3:51Speaker 2: Men are awful.
- 3:52Speaker 3: My gosh, dating like that will never come out of
- 3:55Speaker 3: my mouth. I actually love it. I love men. I
- 3:58Speaker 3: think they're amazing. I think that I am learning something
- 4:05Speaker 3: about myself every time I talk to or go on
- 4:09Speaker 3: a date with somebody, and that is what I take
- 4:11Speaker 3: away from it.
- 4:12Speaker 1: So I I think it's fun and we have some
- 4:20Speaker 1: loaves with it.
- 4:22Speaker 2: What are the lows?
- 4:23Speaker 1: Do you think that I've said, I it's it's discouraging
- 4:29Speaker 1: right at times, because it's.
- 4:32Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know, is it so the last
- 4:35Speaker 2: date maybe.
- 4:36Speaker 3: Oh hey, but discouraging discouraging. I mean that was an
- 4:40Speaker 3: amazing date, sure shot. So you did send me a
- 4:43Speaker 3: text that was like, I'm like this sucks. Yeah, well okay,
- 4:48Speaker 3: but let me explain this to everybody. So I have
- 4:55Speaker 3: not had any type of bad experience at all. Okay,
- 5:00Speaker 3: I feel like, you know, any man that I've talked
- 5:03Speaker 3: to or have been on a date with.
- 5:04Speaker 2: Or jumped off boats, I mean that one. Oh lord, Okay,
- 5:13Speaker 2: moving on. So I I think I can, you know,
- 5:19Speaker 2: sniff them out pretty good. So I've I've.
- 5:22Speaker 3: Only I've only had really interesting men that like are
- 5:26Speaker 3: doing really cool things and I'm super intrigued by. So
- 5:30Speaker 3: that's been great to like see that you know, this
- 5:34Speaker 3: whole different world out there, because when you're married for
- 5:36Speaker 3: ten years, you know, you don't you're not exploring that
- 5:39Speaker 3: you don't know. And so that's been a blessing for me.
- 5:43Speaker 3: Is just like whoa, you know, like this is super refreshing.
- 5:46Speaker 3: This this can be fun and just kind of evolving,
- 5:51Speaker 3: you know, and learning from each one of them, the
- 5:55Speaker 3: little things I want to take away from each one
- 5:57Speaker 3: of them. I mean, you know, try to write, You're
- 5:59Speaker 3: trying to piece them all together to find like this
- 6:01Speaker 3: magic person. I think that's where I'm at that I
- 6:04Speaker 3: haven't had anything bad. It's just hasn't been like.
- 6:09Speaker 2: The but die.
- 6:11Speaker 1: Do you have moments where you wonder if you'll ever
- 6:17Speaker 1: find love again?
- 6:19Speaker 2: No? No, m so you believe that you will one.
- 6:25Speaker 1: And what is because there's times when we walk and
- 6:28Speaker 1: you're like, I don't want to have I don't need
- 6:30Speaker 1: to have. I don't need to get married again. I
- 6:32Speaker 1: don't need So it's like, well that's true.
- 6:35Speaker 2: I mean that's.
- 6:36Speaker 1: Exactly though, because when you're like the other day you
- 6:38Speaker 1: just said, but what do I want?
- 6:41Speaker 3: Right?
- 6:41Speaker 2: I mean, so what do you want? So here's the deal.
- 6:44Speaker 3: I one thousand percent am so freaking happy in my life,
- 6:53Speaker 3: Like I really.
- 6:54Speaker 2: I could find a word for you. It's joyful. Feel
- 6:56Speaker 2: like I hit the jackpot. I am.
- 6:58Speaker 3: You know, I have this company that fills me with
- 7:01Speaker 3: such joy and you know, inspiration, and that continues to grow.
- 7:08Speaker 3: I have these beautiful children, I have the most amazing friendships.
- 7:11Speaker 3: My family's so freaking great. You know, I get to travel,
- 7:17Speaker 3: I get to have all of these beautiful experiences. So
- 7:21Speaker 3: when I tell you I'm at a high, I'm really
- 7:23Speaker 3: at a high. But that doesn't mean that I don't
- 7:28Speaker 3: have space or that I don't necessarily want somebody to
- 7:32Speaker 3: elevate me even higher, Like can I think? Do I
- 7:34Speaker 3: think that I can be even that much happier with
- 7:38Speaker 3: an amazing partner?
- 7:40Speaker 2: I do?
- 7:42Speaker 3: I want, I totally do, and I do want that. However,
- 7:46Speaker 3: if it's not that I'm not doing it, I don't
- 7:50Speaker 3: have to do it. I don't I don't need it.
- 7:53Speaker 3: I want it, Yeah, but I really don't mean I'm
- 7:56Speaker 3: I'm happy at my home on a Saturday night with
- 8:02Speaker 3: music and the good book.
- 8:04Speaker 2: Right.
- 8:14Speaker 1: I think it's important too, because there's no point in
- 8:18Speaker 1: settling when it like I would have never settled again,
- 8:24Speaker 1: because what is the point I have too beautiful, I
- 8:27Speaker 1: had two beautiful children. I would rather be alone than
- 8:31Speaker 1: be in an unhappy marriage again, because we know how
- 8:33Speaker 1: that feels to be in an unhappy marriage, and then
- 8:37Speaker 1: why go through that again if it's not the right
- 8:40Speaker 1: person I know?
- 8:41Speaker 3: And that's just where I feel so powerful and so
- 8:44Speaker 3: like honestly in control of it, and I just think
- 8:47Speaker 3: there's something to be said about It's this combination of
- 8:53Speaker 3: divorced mom energy and perimounopausal type of situation that.
- 8:58Speaker 2: Is like the most powerful thing I've ever experienced in
- 9:03Speaker 2: my life. It's it causes you to.
- 9:08Speaker 3: Ask for what you want, not give a sh what
- 9:12Speaker 3: people think, and just kind of you're coming into your
- 9:17Speaker 3: own honestly, and it's the best place to be. If
- 9:22Speaker 3: I could bottle it up and sell this feeling that
- 9:26Speaker 3: I have.
- 9:26Speaker 2: Right now, it would be billionaires.
- 9:29Speaker 1: What is your biggest when you now that you're in
- 9:34Speaker 1: the dating world again? What is what do you love
- 9:38Speaker 1: the most about it and what defeats you from it?
- 9:42Speaker 2: Well? Is it that it's Rayahs the worst? Or no?
- 9:47Speaker 2: I mean, oh my gosh it on that one. Yes,
- 9:50Speaker 2: you did.
- 9:51Speaker 3: And that's all that I've between, you know, friends introducing
- 9:55Speaker 3: me to people and Raya And that's really all there is.
- 9:58Speaker 3: I don't go out much, so I'm not meet somebody
- 10:00Speaker 3: you know at a bar, so I think that's the
- 10:04Speaker 3: thing right where. Okay, So now you're a mom, you
- 10:08Speaker 3: know you're trying to run this you know, house by
- 10:10Speaker 3: yourself and you're you know, working and doing all the things.
- 10:16Speaker 3: It's challenging to find the time to put forth you know,
- 10:20Speaker 3: the effort. So I think that's that's really hard. So
- 10:24Speaker 3: that's what's discouraging a little bit, because we can just
- 10:27Speaker 3: talk about what happened. I'm like, all right, when's your
- 10:29Speaker 3: second day? You're like, I've got a volleyball game here,
- 10:32Speaker 3: a softball game there, and then I got the kids
- 10:34Speaker 3: and then it's just like and then my business and
- 10:36Speaker 3: it's like when you know, it's so that is super
- 10:41Speaker 3: challenging and it's definitely a thing. But I have to
- 10:43Speaker 3: believe that there are men out there with the exact
- 10:48Speaker 3: same problem as me.
- 10:50Speaker 2: And are you know, willing to maybe be.
- 10:55Speaker 3: A little bit like non traditional in their approach to
- 11:00Speaker 3: I do Part two right right?
- 11:03Speaker 2: What has been like? What gives you the most eck
- 11:07Speaker 2: on a date? Oh? Lord? Dating in your forties? What
- 11:15Speaker 2: is the eckiest thing?
- 11:17Speaker 3: You know?
- 11:18Speaker 2: The funny thing about x or is that they can
- 11:20Speaker 2: just come out of nowhere. I mean you are like,
- 11:23Speaker 2: whoa what? I was totally.
- 11:26Speaker 3: Vibing with you and you said one thing and I'm done.
- 11:30Speaker 2: I'm out, Like.
- 11:31Speaker 1: You said, you like it all inclusive, and I'm auty
- 11:35Speaker 1: five hundred.
- 11:37Speaker 2: It can happen that quick, and.
- 11:39Speaker 3: So's it's a scary place sometimes because you're like, whoa
- 11:44Speaker 3: where I'm like, from girl, I love it all inclusive.
- 11:47Speaker 1: Let's do that.
- 11:49Speaker 3: I am such a detailed, curated, experiential person, Like if
- 11:56Speaker 3: I'm leaving my house and I'm traveling, it's going to
- 11:59Speaker 3: be perfectly curated. And yeah, boutiky. But anyway, we digressed.
- 12:05Speaker 2: Yes, So the biggest.
- 12:07Speaker 3: Ick, Oh, I have a couple actually, so listen up.
- 12:14Speaker 3: Dudes getting drunk are having more than like two glasses
- 12:18Speaker 3: of wine or a cocktail. I mean, I remember I
- 12:21Speaker 3: was on a date and we were I was there
- 12:23Speaker 3: for fifty minutes because I couldn't stand the guy once
- 12:26Speaker 3: I got there, and so I was, you know, trying
- 12:28Speaker 3: to kind of like move it fast, and in fifty
- 12:32Speaker 3: minutes he had three cocktails on a Tuesday night.
- 12:37Speaker 2: It's just I'm just not about that.
- 12:39Speaker 3: I don't like it. It's a total ick to me. Yeah,
- 12:43Speaker 3: like just getting drunk in general at this age. You know,
- 12:46Speaker 3: I'm forty six years old, I'm you know, dating my
- 12:50Speaker 3: age or older. I just it's just not something that
- 12:54Speaker 3: I want to be in that environment. Totally cool if
- 12:57Speaker 3: you do and that's what you love to do in
- 12:59Speaker 3: your spare time, it's not. I mean, well, I enjoy
- 13:02Speaker 3: like a you know, amazing glass of wine with somebody
- 13:05Speaker 3: on a date, of course, but I don't like if
- 13:09Speaker 3: alcohol is the driving force, yeah, or like their identity
- 13:13Speaker 3: or something that has to be done all the time.
- 13:15Speaker 2: I just do not like that. Is there height requirements? Oh?
- 13:20Speaker 2: I feel so bad when I say stuff because it's just.
- 13:23Speaker 3: You know, I do know, I mean, I definitely do,
- 13:26Speaker 3: but I hate to hate to say it aloud.
- 13:29Speaker 2: I think. I just think there's so many you know,
- 13:34Speaker 2: I think.
- 13:35Speaker 1: If you're gonna be again, you know, picking the one,
- 13:40Speaker 1: it's I never liked dating shorter guys, and I couldn't.
- 13:44Speaker 2: I tried.
- 13:45Speaker 1: I totally tried, but I just I like a dude
- 13:49Speaker 1: that's taller than me and I'm five four, so that's
- 13:51Speaker 1: really not asking for a lot. But I did try,
- 13:54Speaker 1: and someone was like he was like maybe maybe five four,
- 13:59Speaker 1: maybe five five, five five, And I was like, I
- 14:00Speaker 1: just can't.
- 14:01Speaker 2: Do it, right. So I think though at this point,
- 14:06Speaker 2: maybe that makes me shallow. No, I don't know, not
- 14:08Speaker 2: at all.
- 14:08Speaker 3: I mean my whole life, I've you know, it's been
- 14:11Speaker 3: very tall men. But what I am learning, and.
- 14:17Speaker 2: This is a this is a process.
- 14:20Speaker 3: I mean I am learning what gets me going and
- 14:23Speaker 3: what I like and you know, the type of feeling
- 14:25Speaker 3: I want.
- 14:25Speaker 2: And so.
- 14:30Speaker 3: I think there's a world where I could totally you know,
- 14:39Speaker 3: fall for somebody if they weren't you know, so tall,
- 14:42Speaker 3: if like I had this amazing feeling and it was
- 14:45Speaker 3: like supportive and there was beautiful communication, and you know
- 14:47Speaker 3: I was attracted to you. I think it all comes
- 14:50Speaker 3: down to attraction really, so but typically you know, I've
- 14:58Speaker 3: dated like six foot and above. Yeah, just if we
- 15:02Speaker 3: were going off of charts of past relationships. I mean
- 15:07Speaker 3: my ex husband was actually the smallest, I mean the smallest,
- 15:10Speaker 3: the shortest person that I ever.
- 15:12Speaker 2: He was six foot right.
- 15:14Speaker 1: And again I think if as long as you have
- 15:15Speaker 1: that attraction, yeah, it's the attraction for me, you know that,
- 15:20Speaker 1: And I'd like to wear like a small hell yeah, no,
- 15:24Speaker 1: I do people make it work. I mean there's I
- 15:27Speaker 1: totally for our name, but I follow her on socials.
- 15:30Speaker 1: I mean she's taller than her husband, you know, but again,
- 15:33Speaker 1: they're attracted to each other and it's not.
- 15:35Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think any of it. It's like a
- 15:37Speaker 2: hard no for me.
- 15:38Speaker 1: Sure you mention older, like dating guys your age and
- 15:51Speaker 1: then older, would you ever go younger?
- 15:54Speaker 2: Everybody?
- 15:54Speaker 3: You are quite the cougar whom I you could be. Well,
- 15:57Speaker 3: everybody always asks me that, and they certainly are.
- 16:02Speaker 2: They love Pam. Yeah.
- 16:04Speaker 3: The younger are bold. I mean they are bold. They
- 16:07Speaker 3: are communicative, which I totally appreciate. I do love a
- 16:11Speaker 3: good bold, you know, subtle, swaggy type of person. But
- 16:18Speaker 3: I never dated younger ever, And I just I don't
- 16:24Speaker 3: know why. I think maybe there's a couple like things
- 16:26Speaker 3: that are happening in my brain where I'm like, they
- 16:29Speaker 3: want kids?
- 16:31Speaker 2: The kid train is l Yeah, so you've got two.
- 16:36Speaker 3: Kids, two kids, right, so but you know, I'm like,
- 16:38Speaker 3: you know, do they want a child of their own?
- 16:41Speaker 3: And then I kind of would feel, you know, like
- 16:43Speaker 3: guilty about that. So I think there's a little bit
- 16:47Speaker 3: of that. And I've just I really like an older sophistication.
- 16:55Speaker 3: But I am telling you these younger men coming up,
- 16:59Speaker 3: I mean they have some tools like with communication and
- 17:03Speaker 3: awareness and evolving and you know, really kind of like
- 17:07Speaker 3: tuning into a woman that is admirable and exciting, and so.
- 17:15Speaker 2: I just.
- 17:18Speaker 3: Really haven't gone there yet because I really do. I'm
- 17:21Speaker 3: super intentional, and I probably think too much.
- 17:25Speaker 2: Do you want to get married again? I don't know
- 17:27Speaker 2: if I have to get married.
- 17:29Speaker 3: I mean I am open to you know that, But
- 17:33Speaker 3: I don't think that it's something that is like on
- 17:37Speaker 3: the top of my of my list of feeling like
- 17:41Speaker 3: I've found the one in order, you know, to marry them,
- 17:44Speaker 3: Like I don't.
- 17:44Speaker 2: I don't have to do that. Do I want like this.
- 17:47Speaker 3: Beautiful, long term, monogamous, exceptional relationship? Yes?
- 17:54Speaker 1: Right, And listen, dudes, they don't have You don't have
- 17:56Speaker 1: to live here in Nashville like she's she loves traveling.
- 18:00Speaker 2: No, I've never.
- 18:03Speaker 3: Like seriously dated anybody in Nashville. I actually maybe prefer not.
- 18:11Speaker 2: Nothing wrong with that. Would you sign a brain up
- 18:14Speaker 2: if you did get married? Yeah?
- 18:18Speaker 1: I feel like at our age, it's like, yeah, I
- 18:20Speaker 1: have my I'm good. Talk to us about your business.
- 18:24Speaker 3: Okay, Well, I have a health and wellness coaching company
- 18:32Speaker 3: that is global. It can reach anybody because it is.
- 18:39Speaker 2: Virtual.
- 18:40Speaker 3: I have my own app, and I am really focused
- 18:43Speaker 3: on transforming women's bodies minds and spirits really in the
- 18:50Speaker 3: forty plus h group through weight training and nutrition and
- 18:54Speaker 3: you know, got health and mindset and I am I
- 19:00Speaker 3: mean I could cry thinking about how grateful I am
- 19:03Speaker 3: that I'm in this space, that I was able to
- 19:05Speaker 3: develop this company and grow it to where it is
- 19:08Speaker 3: and now, you know, just continue to scale it. I
- 19:12Speaker 3: don't know what I would have done without it.
- 19:15Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it was and hey, I went through
- 19:18Speaker 1: the program. It's a great program. Helped me get my
- 19:21Speaker 1: body back from yeah, from pregnancy or you know, from
- 19:25Speaker 1: being pregnant and everything. So but also what I learned
- 19:28Speaker 1: too about foods.
- 19:29Speaker 2: And sure and an education.
- 19:31Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 19:31Speaker 1: And I think for you too, moving into your dating world,
- 19:34Speaker 1: you need a man that supports your drive, lets you
- 19:39Speaker 1: shine there because I don't know if you've had that.
- 19:43Speaker 1: And then also that takes care of themselves, like you said,
- 19:47Speaker 1: not drinking so much. Like you want someone that takes
- 19:51Speaker 1: care of themselves.
- 19:52Speaker 3: Well, I just want them to first and foremost, like
- 19:55Speaker 3: acknowledge the importance of being you know, fit in their body,
- 20:00Speaker 3: mind and spirit. I mean, you know, you don't have
- 20:03Speaker 3: to be you know, some big buff guy you know
- 20:07Speaker 3: at all. And I'm not even really into that, but
- 20:12Speaker 3: I just yeah, I love the awareness and in people
- 20:16Speaker 3: having like the understanding of why that's so important and
- 20:19Speaker 3: how it's going to help with longevity and just making
- 20:22Speaker 3: your life, Like living your life as optimally as possible
- 20:25Speaker 3: is really my message, Like we don't want to just
- 20:27Speaker 3: feel okay, we wouldn't feel freaking amazing. And I want
- 20:30Speaker 3: somebody to be on that journey with me so that
- 20:33Speaker 3: when we're seventy eighty, like we can still be traveling
- 20:36Speaker 3: through Europe together.
- 20:39Speaker 1: Speaking of traveling through Europe, what is your hope on
- 20:42Speaker 1: this dating journey? Like, if you could go this is
- 20:46Speaker 1: this is what I'd love to see in the end.
- 20:48Speaker 1: I know you don't know if you want to get
- 20:49Speaker 1: married or not, but because I feel like travel obviously
- 20:52Speaker 1: is a huge piece of that. So you want someone
- 20:53Speaker 1: that can be worldly, can go travel with you?
- 20:57Speaker 2: Yes, I.
- 21:00Speaker 3: You know, for me right now like what I visualize
- 21:02Speaker 3: and I'm open to different things, but for me currently
- 21:07Speaker 3: like what I'm capable of. Right we talk about what
- 21:09Speaker 3: everybody else is capable, well cable, but what I'm capable
- 21:12Speaker 3: of is maybe something that doesn't look so cut and dry,
- 21:17Speaker 3: like you know, people are used to where there can
- 21:21Speaker 3: be a beautiful relationship that doesn't have to be so
- 21:25Speaker 3: like in the same city. And so maybe like twenty
- 21:30Speaker 3: four to seven right where it can be where we
- 21:33Speaker 3: meet and we travel together and we support each other
- 21:36Speaker 3: and we can see each other like you know, when
- 21:38Speaker 3: we don't have our kids or whatever like timing that
- 21:41Speaker 3: looks like because that's the reality with co parenting. I
- 21:44Speaker 3: can't change that. You know, they have to be with
- 21:47Speaker 3: their dad. They want to be with their dad, he
- 21:49Speaker 3: wants to be with them. And then I have space to,
- 21:52Speaker 3: you know, either focus on my company or travel or
- 21:55Speaker 3: do whatever I want to do.
- 21:56Speaker 2: And I take full advantage of that.
- 21:58Speaker 3: And so I think there's a world where it could
- 22:01Speaker 3: be this amazing like non traditional view of partnership where
- 22:08Speaker 3: I don't have to live in the same home as
- 22:10Speaker 3: you twenty four to seven. I mean, could that overlap
- 22:14Speaker 3: and would that be cool? Absolutely? But I don't think that,
- 22:18Speaker 3: you know, it has to be so.
- 22:21Speaker 2: So full on.
- 22:23Speaker 1: Yeah, And I too, like for the you know, for
- 22:26Speaker 1: people that are dating and I just did this little
- 22:29Speaker 1: Google search here and I'm going to read in the
- 22:30Speaker 1: sec but not to be discouraged because a lot of
- 22:34Speaker 1: people are like, oh, this, you know, natural sucks for
- 22:37Speaker 1: men or it's so hard. There's not men here and
- 22:39Speaker 1: there are roughly google four billion men on Earth, slightly
- 22:43Speaker 1: more than half of the planet's total population. So four
- 22:46Speaker 1: billion men.
- 22:47Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think. And again I met my husband.
- 22:51Speaker 1: He's was overseas, different different country, and so it's like
- 22:56Speaker 1: the reality of your soulmate being in your same state.
- 23:00Speaker 1: I'm like, you can go to any state. Yeah, And
- 23:02Speaker 1: I know it's hard, right, So it's I love it.
- 23:05Speaker 1: But it's like, maybe change your Googles or your dating
- 23:09Speaker 1: search to a different city.
- 23:11Speaker 2: Just try it. Like I don't remember.
- 23:12Speaker 1: I was like, girl, try Dallas or try like who cares,
- 23:15Speaker 1: you know, because I'm like, people will move if you
- 23:17Speaker 1: find the right Only people that I've dated, why just
- 23:20Speaker 1: are you? Why are you on a twenty five mile radius? Yeah,
- 23:22Speaker 1: you're not going to find anybody twenty mi mal radius. No,
- 23:24Speaker 1: I had to go overseas.
- 23:25Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, do you see what I mean though,
- 23:27Speaker 2: totally like, oh, that's what I do. I mean, that's
- 23:29Speaker 2: exactly what I do.
- 23:30Speaker 3: I'm you know in Yeah, I mean the only people
- 23:34Speaker 3: I've dated were La New York, you know, just not
- 23:39Speaker 3: not here.
- 23:41Speaker 2: Not that I'm opposed to it.
- 23:42Speaker 3: It's just I think for Nashville, if I will say,
- 23:46Speaker 3: it is more of a younger male demographic, sure, you know,
- 23:50Speaker 3: I mean I live in Franklin, Tennessee. You guys, it's
- 23:52Speaker 3: like the capital of beautiful families living in this dream
- 23:57Speaker 3: of all you know, these wonderful moms and dads and kids,
- 24:01Speaker 3: and so there's there's no I mean, there's no no
- 24:06Speaker 3: single men really, right, so you got to look elsewhere.
- 24:12Speaker 3: Best tip for dating, don't take everything so personal. I mean,
- 24:16Speaker 3: who cares if somebody doesn't like you? Who cares if
- 24:19Speaker 3: they don't like you back? Who cares if they even
- 24:21Speaker 3: don't call you back or ghost you? Like I Am
- 24:24Speaker 3: never going to let somebody doing that affect like how
- 24:29Speaker 3: I think about myself or that, or make me feel
- 24:32Speaker 3: like I'm less than, are not worthy. I mean, there's
- 24:35Speaker 3: the chances of there being a connection are really slim.
- 24:38Speaker 3: I mean, that's why we have to keep trying and
- 24:40Speaker 3: never give up hope. But not letting you know, some
- 24:44Speaker 3: guy you barely know, dictate how you're going to feel
- 24:48Speaker 3: and then go about your life.
- 24:49Speaker 2: It's it's just insane to me.
- 24:51Speaker 1: Such a good tip, I would say, that a tip
- 24:54Speaker 1: that I've given you. Oh, I know, because we don't
- 24:58Speaker 1: have a lot of time. We are mom, so we
- 25:00Speaker 1: are busy girl FaceTime before you go on a date,
- 25:03Speaker 1: because you will know pretty much if you're attracted on
- 25:07Speaker 1: a FaceTime and if there's any sort of connection over
- 25:10Speaker 1: a FaceTime and you're gonna not waste your time.
- 25:12Speaker 3: No, you've helped me for that for sure. I've I've
- 25:14Speaker 3: definitely put that into my routine. You're awesome.
- 25:20Speaker 1: I gotta FaceTime you first because it's just really I mean,
- 25:23Speaker 1: that's why I'm like, hmm, blind dates, You're just.
- 25:28Speaker 2: No, I'm not interested in a blind date.
- 25:31Speaker 1: I mean at this point, it's but what I think
- 25:33Speaker 1: we should be interested in. What we should do is
- 25:35Speaker 1: this summer we go to New York and we just
- 25:40Speaker 1: you know, because you got it. You gotta get out right,
- 25:42Speaker 1: got to get out, gotta gotta meet people. Let's just
- 25:46Speaker 1: find little girls weekend and you know, to anyone listening pamelin,
- 25:50Speaker 1: where can they find you? Flied into our DMS.
- 25:54Speaker 2: House of Pamelin on Instagram.
- 25:57Speaker 1: Famelin, you are the best things for being on the pod,
- 25:59Speaker 1: sharing your experience. I love you so much and I
- 26:01Speaker 1: know that you are going to get the ending that
- 26:03Speaker 1: you deserve and the love that you've always deserved to have.
- 26:07Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you, friend, I appreciate you.
- 26:09Speaker 1: Okay, so we're going to put some info up on
- 26:11Speaker 1: our socials at I Do Part two pod, so you
- 26:13Speaker 1: can see my gorgeous friend inside and out, and I
- 26:17Speaker 1: want you to share it. So send it to your brothers,
- 26:19Speaker 1: or your coworkers or your husband's best friends. And we're
- 26:22Speaker 1: going to try and make an actual love connection because
- 26:25Speaker 1: that is why we created this show. So let's help
- 26:29Speaker 1: my bestie find her true love.
- 26:32Speaker 2: I love you.
- 26:33Speaker 1: Thank you again for just being open to chatting about this.
- 26:36Speaker 1: I'm excited for your love journey and I'm glad you
- 26:40Speaker 1: are actually taking me along on this process now not
- 26:44Speaker 1: not how you deal with the divorce. So thank you
- 26:47Speaker 1: and listeners. Are you like Pamelin and navigating after divorce?
- 26:49Speaker 1: Call us and email us and maybe we'll work on
- 26:51Speaker 1: setting you up next. I Do Part two and iHeartRadio
- 26:54Speaker 1: podcast where falling in love is the main objective. It
- 27:01Speaker 1: the