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This Weeks Best Of The Breakfast Club · The Breakfast Club

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Speaker 1: I heart Radio, now number one for podcasting, presents Sunday
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Speaker 1: Night podcast. Every Sunday, we played one of the most
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Speaker 1: played and most listened to and most share podcasts of
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Speaker 1: the week from a two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts
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Speaker 1: available in the free i heeart Radio app. Find your
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Speaker 1: next favorite podcast on iHeart Radio. This week is The
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Speaker 1: Breakfast Club thirty morning. Everybody is j Envy Angela Yee,
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Speaker 1: Charlomagne the guy we are to Breakfast Club. We got
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Speaker 1: a special guest in the building never matter before. She's
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Speaker 1: an actress, she's an author, she's a mom. Ladies and gentlemen,
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Speaker 1: is your wife my wife? Yes? Gel Hello, welcome? Yeah?
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Speaker 1: What that's this one name? She's like Madonna beyond Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
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Speaker 1: How nervous are you, sir? Seriously? I know he's been
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Speaker 1: actually real weird. You guys have a book out, Real Life,
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Speaker 1: Real Love Life, Lesson to Enjoy Pain and the magic
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Speaker 1: that holds us together. And I've been dying to ask
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Speaker 1: you this question gear in person or board room, do
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Speaker 1: you feel about and be flirting with each other every day? Um?
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Speaker 1: Kind of turns me on and expect that answer Okay,
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Speaker 1: explain No, I mean, I mean, I think it's a
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Speaker 1: little strange, but I'm amused by it. Does anything go
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Speaker 1: too far? Ever? Or no? It's all in good fun
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Speaker 1: and enter all it is. I don't mind it, So
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Speaker 1: you didn't mind it when he gave me the ass
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Speaker 1: first of all, contact everybody doesn't watch the show every day.
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Speaker 1: Context Please, Okay, what can you guys sound by that?
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Speaker 1: When he gave me a mold of his ass and
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Speaker 1: it wasn't my ass, It was a molde of a ass. Yes,
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Speaker 1: I thought it was the mold of your actual No. No,
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Speaker 1: And then what about when they touch each other and
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Speaker 1: stuff that's never happened. We don't touch me, don't spy.
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Speaker 1: You've never seen them. That hasn't happened. You want to
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Speaker 1: tell me something I need to know now. They like
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Speaker 1: rub up brush against each other. If they're walking out
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Speaker 1: the door, go tring to rub up against each other.
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Speaker 1: We don't have to do it. They're going toolving door together.
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Speaker 1: That happened one time. Explain that now I need to answer.
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Speaker 1: It was stupid. I don't even know how that happen. Really,
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Speaker 1: it was really stupid. It was really that it had
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Speaker 1: to be very intentional. It wasn't. I don't even know how.
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Speaker 1: And then one makes his way around was so stupid,
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Speaker 1: and giggle because it was so stupid. Giggle all the
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Speaker 1: way through it, you guys, you added, insulted. You're sitting
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Speaker 1: there in the one slot giggling together. Oh man. Anyway,
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Speaker 1: back to the matter at hand, real life, real love?
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Speaker 1: What is that magic that holds y'all together? You think?
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Speaker 1: How you know? Um? Whenever I find that people come
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Speaker 1: to our house or are around us, I think they're
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Speaker 1: kind of surprised how much fun we have together. I
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Speaker 1: find him to be very charming and Charismaticum, And one
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Speaker 1: of the things that I love most about him is
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Speaker 1: his boyish nature. So we really have a lot of
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Speaker 1: fun together, and we always had since we first met.
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Speaker 1: The first week we spent together, I thought to myself, Wow,
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Speaker 1: he's a lot of fun. Like he's he's like a friend,
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Speaker 1: you know, And that's part of the magic. You knew
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Speaker 1: that this was the person you can spend the rest
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Speaker 1: of your life with after about two weeks of knowing him. Yes,
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Speaker 1: he knew before you even spent a day together. Explain
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Speaker 1: before before we even spent a day together, that one
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Speaker 1: when I first when I first seen you, I mean
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Speaker 1: I wrote in a book that I thought you were
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Speaker 1: beautiful and amazing in the first time I saw you
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Speaker 1: were actually running track and for people I don't know,
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Speaker 1: you know, tracks, paying track like that outfit and you
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Speaker 1: know Gia had, you know, big double d's, And I
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Speaker 1: would stop basically stalker outside and just watch a run
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Speaker 1: track and watch a breast bottle like that word don't
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Speaker 1: say stalk, you know what it's stalking, But that's actually
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Speaker 1: what he was doing was it was actually stalking. And
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Speaker 1: I would see him. I would see him the bidding
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Speaker 1: with his friends in this bright blue con Edison van
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Speaker 1: because that's what his parents bought him to trans to
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Speaker 1: transfer his DJ equipment from Sweet sixteen to Sweet sixteen
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Speaker 1: at the time. And I would see it parked behind
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Speaker 1: the fence some thinking to myself, like, yo, why is
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Speaker 1: this van there? Every day it tried cracked. Yeah, it
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Speaker 1: was bright blue. He wasn't low, he was not low.
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Speaker 1: And then one day he emerged. Actually, babe, do you
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Speaker 1: remember one day he emerged from the van and approached
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Speaker 1: me and kicked it and I was like, oh, so
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Speaker 1: you're that weirdough we both kids. Yeah, she was fifteen,
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Speaker 1: I was sixteen. We went to the same high school.
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Speaker 1: So so and but you say that you knew that
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Speaker 1: she was going to be your wife, like right away?
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Speaker 1: You think it was before y'all even spoke was stalking her?
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Speaker 1: We actually know when we actually spoke, and you know,
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Speaker 1: I found out how you know, beautiful she was inside
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Speaker 1: and outside, and how smart she was and caring and
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Speaker 1: she was just that she was the one. She was
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Speaker 1: the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life
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Speaker 1: and the most precious things. So I was like, this
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Speaker 1: is going to be my wife. I want people to
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Speaker 1: get the book, but I do want, you know, to
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Speaker 1: explain how do you keep reinventing the relationship when you
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Speaker 1: start that young? Now interviews fifty something, you know what
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Speaker 1: I mean, you're much much younger, But how how do
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Speaker 1: you keep how do you reinvent? How do you keep reinventing?
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Speaker 1: And I think that that's part of the magic. We
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Speaker 1: don't have to try. We don't intentionally. We do a
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Speaker 1: lot of things intentionally and deliberately, but we don't intentionally
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Speaker 1: reimagine the relationship and act on that. The only thing
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Speaker 1: that I would say that where um good about is
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Speaker 1: keeping it sexy and making sure that that part of
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Speaker 1: our relationship doesn't get too monotonous and doesn't get stale.
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Speaker 1: So we have a lot of fun in that space. Um,
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Speaker 1: but we don't have to think of, God, how am
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Speaker 1: I gonna stop being bored of you? Or how am
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Speaker 1: I going to get to a point where you don't
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Speaker 1: annoy me anymore? He legitimately does not annoy me. I
6:11
Speaker 1: look forward to his phone calls every day, and we
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Speaker 1: probably speak on the phone about maybe eight or nine
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Speaker 1: ten times a day because he's away a lot, you know.
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Speaker 1: So he calls me on his way to the breakfast club,
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Speaker 1: He calls man his way home from the breakfast club,
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Speaker 1: He calls me. If something happens, he calls me incessantly.
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Speaker 1: It's and I'm never like oh you again, I'm like
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Speaker 1: him again. You know. It's just that feeling that I've
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Speaker 1: always had that no matter what ups or downs we
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Speaker 1: were going through, that never left me. Now, he tell
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Speaker 1: this a story about the cowboy outfit. Told you about that?
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Speaker 1: Yeah wait, wait wait the cowboy outfit in college, the
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Speaker 1: assss chats, that ass chat they were Yeah, you tell
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Speaker 1: this about Oh wait, did you actually tell me like
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Speaker 1: on error and private he did, because if it was
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Speaker 1: in private, this is a whole double cross, right, he
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Speaker 1: jested as the cowboy and his he had. Remember that day, Okay,
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Speaker 1: I remember that, digga. After he told the story, he goes,
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Speaker 1: not like what he did when we were in college. Yeah,
7:12
Speaker 1: we went through a stage where we were doing like
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Speaker 1: a lot of role play. Yeah, and one night I
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Speaker 1: dared him to be a cowboy. So we went and
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Speaker 1: got the cowboy half. It had like the big brown hat,
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Speaker 1: and then he had like the little holsters and everything,
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Speaker 1: and babe, do you remember I took pictures? Where are those?
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Speaker 1: Are they in the book? He about maybe um three
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Speaker 1: years after he made me physically burn them on the grill. Wow,
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Speaker 1: he put them on the grill and told me how
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Speaker 1: to light it. Yeah, they don't exist. Don't you wish
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Speaker 1: you still had that? No, but y'all talk about role
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Speaker 1: play in the book. You said he likes to put
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Speaker 1: on the rock Nation paper plane hat and he goes,
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Speaker 1: what's my name? And he wants you to say jiggle.
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Speaker 1: I didn't contribute to that chapter. Okay, that wasn't my work. No,
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Speaker 1: I didn't do it. Okay, So wait, they really so
7:55
Speaker 1: he wasn't lying. They were asked with chaps. Yeah, yeah,
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Speaker 1: he had a whole. It was a whole thing. I
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Speaker 1: just well the Uaugia. He did not tell us that.
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Speaker 1: Damn it to hell. Get my book and you will
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Speaker 1: learn a slew of tactics what you want out of life. Okay,
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Speaker 1: it was a holster by the way, they were holsters.
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Speaker 1: It was a whole, but it was some other dressed
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Speaker 1: up things. You go right, Um, it was more so me,
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Speaker 1: okay dressing up and he was just like the recipient
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Speaker 1: of that that that was a one little and that's
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Speaker 1: why it was a dare because it was kind of
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Speaker 1: supposed to be a joke. But he never really dressed
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Speaker 1: up one time I was he was a doctor. That
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Speaker 1: was once. Did you really burn the pictures? I really
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Speaker 1: did really in front of him. Wow, you didn't have negatives?
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Speaker 1: Were going to share that they never goes left in
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Speaker 1: a relationship. I had that I will ruin his entire reputation,
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Speaker 1: I will never be able to work again, and I
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Speaker 1: question them over to a new audience. The free IHR
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Speaker 1: radio app has over two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts
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Speaker 1: to explode. Yes, this is the Breakfast Club, third part
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Speaker 1: of Sunday Night podcast on iHeartRadio. We got a special
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Speaker 1: guest staling to building my wife, Gea Casey. We're talking
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Speaker 1: about our new book, Real Life, Real Love Life Lessons
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Speaker 1: on Joy, Pain and the Magic that holds Us Together.
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Speaker 1: You could pick it up today, or you can get
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Speaker 1: it on an audible and kin do it or wherever
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Speaker 1: you get your books. Yee, how is if it both
9:18
Speaker 1: of you writing his book together. Some of it was fun,
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Speaker 1: It was nice to be creative and get your thoughts
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Speaker 1: down on paper. It was work, but a lot of
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Speaker 1: it was difficult. I'm a very open person. Rashawn I
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Speaker 1: think had a difficult time because he had to relive
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Speaker 1: a lot of the negative things that transpired in our relationship.
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Speaker 1: And he can tend to be surface in some respects
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Speaker 1: where you ask him a question, he gives you an answer.
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Speaker 1: I'm a lot more of an in depth person, you know.
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Speaker 1: I think critically about things, and when we would go
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Speaker 1: over these chapters that he's assigned to write, I would
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Speaker 1: ask him questions like, Okay, you can't just answer it
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Speaker 1: with a yes or a no or a full blanket
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Speaker 1: like one question would mean ten more questions. To really
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Speaker 1: get to the meet. And you know, I had to
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Speaker 1: keep reiterating, we're writing this book so that people have
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Speaker 1: something tangible, a reference point for them to make changes
10:13
Speaker 1: in their lives if necessary, or to recognize that the
10:15
Speaker 1: person that you're with needs to make changes in their lives.
10:18
Speaker 1: And it was a journey. It was a journey, but
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Speaker 1: I think it was difficult. For it was difficult. I
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Speaker 1: had to relive a lot of the the f boyish
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Speaker 1: I put you through. And you don't you forget about
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Speaker 1: a lot of it because you don't have to relive it.
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Speaker 1: But then when you start, no, you forget about forget
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Speaker 1: I forget nothing at the point though, right, because it's like,
10:38
Speaker 1: we don't realize how much we do hurt? Are women? Yeah?
10:43
Speaker 1: I think so? I don't think we realize how deep that.
10:46
Speaker 1: That sounds like an oaky doke to me. No, I
10:48
Speaker 1: don't think we Until you actually sit down and have
10:50
Speaker 1: those you know, uncomfortable conversations, you don't realize how much
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Speaker 1: you your wife cheated on you and told you that
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Speaker 1: she would have no idea, Yeah, how much that it
11:01
Speaker 1: stood to hurt you? Would that make sense to you?
11:04
Speaker 1: Probably not? But I mean men don't make sense. You
11:07
Speaker 1: believe that you believe that you're born inherently with like
11:11
Speaker 1: a deficit, not a deficit. But I just don't think.
11:13
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think we're thinking about it,
11:15
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like we like that's the
11:17
Speaker 1: sad part. It's selfish and that's what keeps that's what
11:19
Speaker 1: keeps you from doing it in the future, you know
11:21
Speaker 1: what I mean, because you do not want to hurt
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Speaker 1: the woman that you love. And it's so crazy because
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Speaker 1: I saw that with my pops, Like I saw the
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Speaker 1: pain that that caused my mom with his infidelity. So
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Speaker 1: in my mind, I was like, damn, I'm about to
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Speaker 1: do make the same mistake. So I think it is
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Speaker 1: difficult when you got to relive it because you don't
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Speaker 1: want to talk about it because you don't want to
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Speaker 1: trigger you. You know, some people if I don't get
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Speaker 1: triggered though, man, but that scared me. Sity. No. Once
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Speaker 1: I got to a point, and it was a process.
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Speaker 1: Once I got to a point where um, I accepted
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Speaker 1: that it was my job job to move on because
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Speaker 1: I decided to forgive him, and because because he had
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Speaker 1: done all of the work and then some to regain
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Speaker 1: my trust to earn grace from me. I got to
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Speaker 1: a point where I no longer wanted to punish and
12:18
Speaker 1: I didn't have that inherent need to see him suffer.
12:22
Speaker 1: Because when you hurt, and you say it all the time,
12:24
Speaker 1: hurt people, hurt people. When you're hurt, you want not
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Speaker 1: just people, you want the person that hurt you to hurt.
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Speaker 1: And any time that I felt any type of way,
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Speaker 1: I made sure that he felt some type of way.
12:37
Speaker 1: So once I learned how to forgive, and that was
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Speaker 1: a process because I wasn't necessarily a forgiving person before
12:43
Speaker 1: everything was very black and white to me, not very
12:45
Speaker 1: much gray. But once I learned and I understood that
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Speaker 1: that's what was expected from me of God, I had
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Speaker 1: to commit to that and do my best to live
12:56
Speaker 1: up to what forgiveness meant. And that's what set free
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Speaker 1: Because when you forgive, you don't forgive to ease the
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Speaker 1: burden from the other person. You forgive to ease the
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Speaker 1: burden from you. Well, the work you guys did together,
13:09
Speaker 1: like you had to work on forgiveness and when you
13:11
Speaker 1: said Okay, I'm gonna you know, have to move on
13:15
Speaker 1: from this. But what was the work that he did that.
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Speaker 1: Let you know, Okay, he's serious, and you know I
13:22
Speaker 1: can finally just say I'm not getting triggered anymore. I'm
13:25
Speaker 1: gonna let this go. One of the first things was
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Speaker 1: I realized that he understood the impact of what had happened,
13:34
Speaker 1: what he did, He understood it. He didn't just accept
13:37
Speaker 1: it and was accountable for it, but he actually understood.
13:43
Speaker 1: He would do things that a lot of men wouldn't do.
13:45
Speaker 1: He would sit there through those eight hour conversations locked
13:48
Speaker 1: in a room. He answered every question that I had,
13:52
Speaker 1: and I had a lot of questions, and he answered
13:56
Speaker 1: them all truthfully. And you know when you asked somebody
13:59
Speaker 1: a question and you can tell by their answer, because
14:02
Speaker 1: I mean, the answers weren't pretty. There weren't things that
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Speaker 1: I would have wanted to hear. He went through all
14:08
Speaker 1: of the sufferation, as I call it, and he did
14:11
Speaker 1: it until because a lot of guys when they mess up,
14:16
Speaker 1: and I mean a lot of them have told me.
14:17
Speaker 1: I have friends and that have gone through it. It's like, listen,
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Speaker 1: I did it. I apologize, I said I was never
14:23
Speaker 1: going to do it again. I mean that ish, But
14:27
Speaker 1: it's like every day I'm being punished. I'm being punished,
14:29
Speaker 1: I'm being remindeds like let it go, I apologize, Like
14:32
Speaker 1: what more do you want from me? Blood? He never
14:34
Speaker 1: took that approach with me. It was the until, until
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Speaker 1: you are good, until you are healed. If I have
14:42
Speaker 1: to be a punching bag, I will be that. If
14:44
Speaker 1: I have to be a doormat, I will be that.
14:46
Speaker 1: I will do anything that it makes to survive this
14:49
Speaker 1: because I cannot be without you. And he proved it
14:53
Speaker 1: every single day. It was as though and he was
14:56
Speaker 1: like this before, but it was even more so during
14:58
Speaker 1: this time. It was as though he communicated to me
15:01
Speaker 1: that the only thing that he wanted was to make
15:04
Speaker 1: me happy. And that's pretty much how he lives his life.
15:06
Speaker 1: He lives his life every day waking up thinking like, damn,
15:10
Speaker 1: how can I make gars life easier today? How can
15:12
Speaker 1: I make Gia happier today? But to answer your question,
15:14
Speaker 1: it was the until. It was the indefinite, and it
15:17
Speaker 1: was the willingness to do any and everything to earn
15:20
Speaker 1: what he lost back. And he was there ever a
15:22
Speaker 1: question in your mind. I know there was a point
15:24
Speaker 1: when you thought, no matter what I do, she's never
15:27
Speaker 1: gonna take me back. There ever a time when you
15:29
Speaker 1: were like, I'm gonna come over and huge him. Let
15:31
Speaker 1: you know, you him back if you cried in front
15:36
Speaker 1: of your wife, catch that little field. At that point,
15:44
Speaker 1: I just, you know, I didn't know what was going
15:46
Speaker 1: to happen, but I was like, I have to be
15:47
Speaker 1: honest or at least get my friend back, you know.
15:51
Speaker 1: Um And at that point, I you know, I didn't
15:53
Speaker 1: know what Gear was gonna do. I thought it was
15:54
Speaker 1: a rap, but I was like, I still wanted my friend.
15:56
Speaker 1: I still wanted somebody I can talk to, you know,
15:58
Speaker 1: I still wanted in a relationship. Whether that we can
16:00
Speaker 1: bounce me like that. She's all I knew since I
16:02
Speaker 1: was sixteen. So I still wanted my friend back. And
16:05
Speaker 1: she's that could have been forever beef. But you know,
16:08
Speaker 1: it's interesting that you didn't kick him out of the house.
16:11
Speaker 1: You were still polite to him, You still wanted to
16:13
Speaker 1: maintain a co parenting friendship. I feel like that hurts
16:17
Speaker 1: more when you're like, we're not having sex and I
16:21
Speaker 1: might end up with somebody else one day, but you
16:24
Speaker 1: know we're cool. That hurts more that I think sometimes
16:26
Speaker 1: in just completely like being nasty to somebody and cutting
16:30
Speaker 1: them off. Yes, well, when I found out divorce was imminent,
16:34
Speaker 1: it was never a question. I was raised by a
16:38
Speaker 1: very strong mother who taught me that if a man
16:43
Speaker 1: ever disrespects you to that degree, then you walk. So
16:48
Speaker 1: it didn't matter how much I loved with Sean and
16:50
Speaker 1: how much I would have missed him, and it didn't
16:52
Speaker 1: matter if I cried every night. It did not matter
16:55
Speaker 1: one iota how I felt. The Only thing that was
17:00
Speaker 1: important to me was that I operated with my head
17:02
Speaker 1: and not my heart, and that I did what I
17:04
Speaker 1: always said that I was going to do. So when
17:07
Speaker 1: I found out, when it was confirmed for me, and
17:10
Speaker 1: you can read the book and see the entire no,
17:13
Speaker 1: you want you to go, get the entire story. But
17:16
Speaker 1: when he confirmed it, we were in a parking lot,
17:18
Speaker 1: and when I drove away from that parking lot, it
17:21
Speaker 1: was a few days before Christmas and his mother was
17:24
Speaker 1: at the house helping me decorate because we were hosting
17:26
Speaker 1: that year. But I walked into the house and I
17:28
Speaker 1: told her, I said, Christmas is canceled. And she said
17:33
Speaker 1: Christmas is canceled, and I said, well, I just found
17:36
Speaker 1: out that Rashwan cheated on me, and We're getting a divorce,
17:40
Speaker 1: so there's not gonna be any Christmas this year, at
17:43
Speaker 1: least I'm not hosting. It's wild that people actually canceled Christmas.
17:46
Speaker 1: I thought that was just a figures fee. No, no,
17:48
Speaker 1: if this happened, we canceled Christmas Chas, Yeah, Christmas well
17:53
Speaker 1: in the sense of us hosting. And I wasn't going
17:56
Speaker 1: to cancel it for our children. But you know, we
17:58
Speaker 1: didn't have to decorate for thirty people to come over.
18:01
Speaker 1: And my lovely mother in law, my mama, she defended
18:06
Speaker 1: her beautiful son with everything that she could because pretty much,
18:13
Speaker 1: and when she said something to that effect, I said,
18:15
Speaker 1: but for the fact that he just told me that
18:17
Speaker 1: it was true. And he came home maybe twenty or
18:22
Speaker 1: thirty minutes later, and it was a whole thing, right.
18:27
Speaker 1: But I was adamant that we were getting a divorce.
18:30
Speaker 1: That contacted an attorney, paid an attorney. It was decided.
18:37
Speaker 1: But thankfully, there were a whole host of things that
18:41
Speaker 1: happened that that convinced me that God had other plans.
18:48
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio for podcast Discovery. This is the Breakfast
18:51
Speaker 1: Club thirty your chance to hear the biggest trending podcast
18:56
Speaker 1: each week from the Free iHeartRadio app. We're here talking
18:58
Speaker 1: about our new book, Real Life, Real Love. What did
19:02
Speaker 1: God say to you? You know, I wasn't raised with
19:06
Speaker 1: this um deeply instilled faith where I felt as though
19:10
Speaker 1: I knew God and I lived differently because I didn't
19:14
Speaker 1: know God in that way. So when God revealed himself
19:18
Speaker 1: to me, and he may have tried for years, you see,
19:22
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't have I didn't speak his language. I
19:24
Speaker 1: would have never been able to interpret God trying to
19:26
Speaker 1: reach out to me. So I really believe that this
19:30
Speaker 1: happened so that me, particularly not even Rashawn, so that
19:34
Speaker 1: I could be humbled. When God spoke, he spoke through
19:38
Speaker 1: other people, and when he found when I found out
19:41
Speaker 1: what happened. It's funny we were being approached for reality
19:45
Speaker 1: shows at the time, and when he took someone's terrible
19:52
Speaker 1: advice to apologize to me on the radio and make
20:01
Speaker 1: our personal woes private. Yeah, our personal woes Publicum. I
20:07
Speaker 1: didn't know though. I didn't know what he was going through.
20:09
Speaker 1: He just be he'd be laying on the I didn't
20:13
Speaker 1: know what he'd be like out of it. I'm like, yo,
20:14
Speaker 1: what the is your problem? I didn't know what it was.
20:17
Speaker 1: So as I'm priding him, like, what the hell is
20:19
Speaker 1: going on? I didn't know that was coming. Oh okay, yeah,
20:22
Speaker 1: I didn't know that was the one he apologized. You
20:24
Speaker 1: didn't know what apologize. He would literally come in here
20:26
Speaker 1: and be like laid out on the floor in the
20:28
Speaker 1: fetal position the whole show, Like he would not be
20:31
Speaker 1: here with us, he wouldn't be present, and I just
20:33
Speaker 1: knew something was wrong. Apologize. I'm like, no. I was like,
20:36
Speaker 1: when he gets on the air, I'm gonna ask him
20:38
Speaker 1: on the air with the because his problem, and I
20:39
Speaker 1: was tired of asking him behind the scenes, and so
20:42
Speaker 1: I asked him on the air. I didn't know that
20:43
Speaker 1: was coming. Though. It was a terrible idea, But maybe
20:46
Speaker 1: it was the same dose of common sense that you
20:48
Speaker 1: guys are talking about. Men the same thing anyway, man
20:52
Speaker 1: think differently. Yes, But when it was made public, my
20:58
Speaker 1: one of my best friends, his name is Rashid, he's
21:00
Speaker 1: the husband of my other best friend, her name is Sasha.
21:03
Speaker 1: He called to see if what he had heard was
21:07
Speaker 1: true because he thought that maybe it was just something
21:09
Speaker 1: being drummed up because we're supposed to be on a
21:11
Speaker 1: reality show or something like that. And when he called,
21:13
Speaker 1: I said, no, everything that you heard is absolutely true.
21:16
Speaker 1: It's it's a terrible story. Um as you said. You know,
21:19
Speaker 1: Rashaw was circling the dream at that time, and Rashid
21:24
Speaker 1: decided to come to New York from California because he
21:29
Speaker 1: lives in LA. But we had a very a horrible
21:33
Speaker 1: event happened at our home and you can read about
21:37
Speaker 1: it in the BOVESI didn't like me Rush, you know,
21:39
Speaker 1: he always thought our relationship with toxic, which you were
21:42
Speaker 1: too controlling. He thought I was too controlling, which I
21:44
Speaker 1: was at times, but so he didn't like me. So
21:46
Speaker 1: the fact that he flew in to try to save
21:49
Speaker 1: this relationship meant a lot, because he already didn't like me.
21:51
Speaker 1: I thought, he said, Taris saved alationship. Well, well, what
21:57
Speaker 1: happened was he flew in and I didn't want him
22:00
Speaker 1: there because our marriage was ending and I just wanted
22:03
Speaker 1: to be by myself. But he insisted. He said, I'm
22:06
Speaker 1: pulling into I'm applying into New York New York International
22:10
Speaker 1: Airport at such and such a time. Come get me.
22:12
Speaker 1: I went, and I got him, and that was the
22:15
Speaker 1: start of the biggest change that we needed to go
22:19
Speaker 1: to go through. He came to our house and I said,
22:22
Speaker 1: why are you here? And he said, God sent me here.
22:26
Speaker 1: I said, of all people, you, you're the only person
22:29
Speaker 1: in our lives that didn't champion our marriage. You're the
22:32
Speaker 1: only one that ever told me that maybe he's not
22:35
Speaker 1: the right person for me. Why you, he said, Gia,
22:39
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've been praying since I got a
22:42
Speaker 1: phone with you. After that terrible thing happened, and I
22:45
Speaker 1: walked into my boss's office, told him I had to
22:46
Speaker 1: take a leave of absence, went home, packed a bag,
22:49
Speaker 1: and got on a plane and headed here. And it's
22:52
Speaker 1: only through the assignment of God. God spoke to me.
22:55
Speaker 1: I said, so, what does that mean? Like, are you
22:57
Speaker 1: hearing voices? Like, what do you mean God spoke to you?
23:01
Speaker 1: And he said to me, when God speaks to you,
23:04
Speaker 1: it's as though he puts an overwhelming feeling on your heart.
23:06
Speaker 1: And when he tells you to do something, you don't
23:08
Speaker 1: ask me questions, You just do it. I said, okay, well,
23:13
Speaker 1: basically I'm have to wrap my mind around that because
23:15
Speaker 1: I didn't have the tools to really understand that. And
23:20
Speaker 1: he stayed with us for about maybe ten twelve days,
23:23
Speaker 1: and he taught us a lot about God and faith
23:27
Speaker 1: and spirituality and what his assignment was. And he brought
23:32
Speaker 1: in his past or. Her name is Sister Nancy. She
23:34
Speaker 1: had the same feedback from God when she prayed. And
23:38
Speaker 1: this was all new to me, and I was actually
23:39
Speaker 1: very angry because now I have people in my life
23:42
Speaker 1: that I respect and love that are telling me that
23:45
Speaker 1: I have to stay in a relationship that I'm adamant
23:48
Speaker 1: on getting out of. And it was very, very heavy.
23:51
Speaker 1: I can't describe to you how heavy it was and
23:53
Speaker 1: how insistent he was in his assurance of what God
23:58
Speaker 1: communicated to him in the fast. Tyrese same thing I
24:01
Speaker 1: didn't know. You know, we knew Tyres for coming up
24:03
Speaker 1: here do an interview, but I didn't know tyresead I
24:04
Speaker 1: have his number. He didn't have a new song. But
24:07
Speaker 1: when he heard me on a radio that day, he
24:09
Speaker 1: called and wanted to speak to Gia, and you can
24:12
Speaker 1: read in the book because he got us together, but
24:14
Speaker 1: he said the exact same thing, like Tires and Rashid
24:17
Speaker 1: was speaking to each other, and it was kind of
24:19
Speaker 1: like those two were the ones to really save my marriage.
24:23
Speaker 1: And they didn't know it to the Ngia. You had
24:24
Speaker 1: asked for a sign. Well, that was the thing, because
24:27
Speaker 1: I was so angered by what I was hearing, like, Oh,
24:29
Speaker 1: I was a victim being cheated on, now being victimized
24:32
Speaker 1: again by God telling me that I have to stay
24:35
Speaker 1: in a relationship that I'm adamant about leaving. I don't
24:38
Speaker 1: understand this, and I was and I'm not a big crier,
24:41
Speaker 1: but um, one day I was taking a shower and
24:44
Speaker 1: I began to cry, and I began to pray in
24:46
Speaker 1: the way that I was learning how to pray, and
24:48
Speaker 1: I asked God for a sign that I can interpret
24:52
Speaker 1: for myself, so at least it would feel as though
24:53
Speaker 1: I was making my own decision, and a decision wasn't
24:56
Speaker 1: being made for me, so I I damn near begged
24:59
Speaker 1: for a sign. And then shortly after Tyrese called Rashan
25:03
Speaker 1: and asked for him to set something up and we
25:07
Speaker 1: went to Philippe Chaw's. He came in with a backup
25:10
Speaker 1: singer and a guitarist. He performed Stay just for Rashan
25:14
Speaker 1: and I. Then he sat down for about four hours
25:16
Speaker 1: and we had a conversation and he tried to explain
25:19
Speaker 1: to me how a man can love you and still
25:22
Speaker 1: cheat at the same time, because I didn't really understand that.
25:25
Speaker 1: But at the end of the conversation I asked them,
25:27
Speaker 1: I said, you know, why are you here. You don't
25:30
Speaker 1: even know if I'm a good person. You don't know
25:32
Speaker 1: if this relationship is even worth salvaging. Why would you
25:35
Speaker 1: do that? You didn't know, Rashan, you have no dog
25:37
Speaker 1: in this fight. You have nothing to gain or lose.
25:40
Speaker 1: You're supposed to be at a wedding somewhere else. You
25:42
Speaker 1: changed your flights to be here. Why, He said, God
25:47
Speaker 1: sent me here to do this. I said, what do
25:49
Speaker 1: you mean God sent you here to do this? He said,
25:53
Speaker 1: God sent me. I said, are you hearing voices? He
25:55
Speaker 1: said no, and then he reiterated verbatim exactly what Rashid
26:01
Speaker 1: said to me in my kitchen that day. And I
26:03
Speaker 1: had to ask um, tires, I said, is that like
26:06
Speaker 1: in the Bible? Is that what you just said? Is
26:08
Speaker 1: that like a thing that people know? And he said no,
26:11
Speaker 1: I'm just telling you how I feel. Like, what do
26:13
Speaker 1: you mean? At that moment, I just like threw my
26:15
Speaker 1: hands up and I said, okay, And I looked at
26:20
Speaker 1: Rashawn and I said, I forgive you. I don't know
26:24
Speaker 1: what that means. I will work on this with you.
26:27
Speaker 1: I don't know how long that will take. I will
26:29
Speaker 1: do what I'm now believing is required of me. But
26:34
Speaker 1: we're going to be in for a ride because I'm
26:37
Speaker 1: not really there. But I can commit to you in
26:39
Speaker 1: this moment because there is not that much coincidence in
26:42
Speaker 1: the world for what just happened. Thank God. Yes, I'm sorry.
26:48
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to my wife too. I just feel like
26:55
Speaker 1: we got more with my wife's Gia Casey. When we
26:58
Speaker 1: come back. We're talking out new book that's out right now,
27:00
Speaker 1: Real Life, Real Love. So don't go anywhere. It's to
27:02
Speaker 1: Breakfast Club. Good Morning. The free I Heart Radio app
27:05
Speaker 1: has over two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts to explore. Yes,
27:09
Speaker 1: this is the Breakfast Club thirty part of Sunday Night
27:11
Speaker 1: podcast on our Heart Radio. We got a special guest
27:13
Speaker 1: Steal in the building, my wife, Gia Casey. We're talking
27:16
Speaker 1: about our new book, Real Life, Real Love, Life Lessons
27:19
Speaker 1: on Joy, Pain and the Magic that holds Us Together.
27:22
Speaker 1: You could pick it up today, or you can get
27:24
Speaker 1: it on an audible and kin do it or wherever
27:25
Speaker 1: you get your books. Yee. A lot of gems in
27:28
Speaker 1: this buck, you guys, I was thoroughly entertaining. Like I said,
27:31
Speaker 1: I look stressed. I think he's been nervous all morning
27:35
Speaker 1: before you got triggering conversation. The book is out today.
27:39
Speaker 1: Go get it, man. Make sure you pick it up.
27:41
Speaker 1: Real life, real love, getting today life lessons on joy, pain,
27:44
Speaker 1: and the magic that holds us together. That's right, Amazon,
27:47
Speaker 1: Barns and Nobles, wherever you buy books, your local bookstores,
27:50
Speaker 1: please pick it up today. And when you do read it,
27:53
Speaker 1: or you read it, please, what we want you to
27:55
Speaker 1: do is we want you to tell us what you
27:57
Speaker 1: think about the book, whether it's a thirty second video tag,
28:00
Speaker 1: and now we want to repost it, whether you love it,
28:02
Speaker 1: whether you hate it. We're going to repost all of
28:03
Speaker 1: them because we'd love to get you guys' feedback. And
28:06
Speaker 1: I think that y'all gonna help a lot of couples.
28:07
Speaker 1: And it's clear that y'all two are meant to be
28:09
Speaker 1: with each other, you know what I'm saying. One of
28:11
Speaker 1: my favorite chapters is called The New Deal, and it's
28:14
Speaker 1: pretty much about reparations that the offender has to make
28:19
Speaker 1: after offending their partner. And it's those things that will
28:23
Speaker 1: help to let to signal to your partner that you
28:27
Speaker 1: just may be worthy of forgiveness and being expended grace.
28:31
Speaker 1: So what are those reparations? The first thing people will say, Oh,
28:33
Speaker 1: that's why he does the Twelve Days of Christmas. You know,
28:36
Speaker 1: that's right. A lot of people do say, But you
28:40
Speaker 1: know what's funny, and that's the funny thing. We've always
28:43
Speaker 1: done twelve Days of Christmas. We just never made it public.
28:48
Speaker 1: And it's not the type of thing that at first
28:50
Speaker 1: I ever wanted to make public because it is grand,
28:56
Speaker 1: but I decided to start posting it because it's not
29:00
Speaker 1: about the material items that he gives me for Christmas.
29:05
Speaker 1: It's about the intention behind it. It's about the thought.
29:09
Speaker 1: You know, he starts shopping almost a year in advance
29:12
Speaker 1: for that, and every gift comes with something special, a
29:16
Speaker 1: little note, a little treasure hunt to find the gift,
29:19
Speaker 1: a prayer, a poem, something that is giving of his heart,
29:24
Speaker 1: not giving of his pocket. And that's why when you
29:27
Speaker 1: you know, you read the book and you hear y'all talk,
29:28
Speaker 1: that's why you understand why he got so upset at
29:30
Speaker 1: these and marrot. Correct. You know what I'm sayingcause y'all
29:33
Speaker 1: relationship is so much deeper. Of course, you know, because
29:36
Speaker 1: with their comment, it almost to me suggests as though
29:41
Speaker 1: there's nothing else worthy about him that would signal me
29:47
Speaker 1: to stay aside from what he has to offer financially.
29:52
Speaker 1: And it's a joke, right, But we all know that
29:55
Speaker 1: all jokes are rooted in some truth, and that's what
30:00
Speaker 1: I think their truth was. Looking at it from an outsider,
30:03
Speaker 1: I wasn't some jackie completely and met somebody with money
30:07
Speaker 1: and was like, oh, come up. We ground it out
30:10
Speaker 1: from day one. I was always there and supporting him
30:15
Speaker 1: and loving him. And if he failed and wound up
30:19
Speaker 1: being a secretary or anything followed another path, I would
30:24
Speaker 1: still be there. Yeah, I think a proctologist take it.
30:31
Speaker 1: Took a beat to get that. I just can't believe
30:38
Speaker 1: what are you talking. I'm just suggesting other career options
30:41
Speaker 1: that you're going to take it. I can't believe it.
30:43
Speaker 1: With me. What my wife had is like, you're disrespectful
30:45
Speaker 1: real life. Really, thank you for having me, guys, that's right,
30:48
Speaker 1: pick it up today and uh it's the breakfast club,
30:51
Speaker 1: good morning. No, you gotta tell his guests, I love
30:53
Speaker 1: you before you sign off, Yes, yes, Casey, thank you
30:56
Speaker 1: for joining us. I love you. I love you way
30:59
Speaker 1: more to show. I Heart Radio Sunday Night Podcast Listen
31:04
Speaker 1: every week as we play a different podcast, one of
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Speaker 1: the most shared and most listened to in the free
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Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app. This is where you'll hear the
31:11
Speaker 1: podcast people will be talking about this week. Here are
31:13
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Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app.