Latest / Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast / Ep. 76: Find strength in being YOU w/Dr. Kendal Anderson, DPT, author of children’s book "Different..."

Transcript

Ep. 76: Find strength in being YOU w/Dr. Kendal Anderson, DPT, author of children’s book "Different..." · Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast

• 0:00
  Welcome back. I always say that usually I say
• 0:05
  and we're back. We are back in person for
• 0:09
  episode 7676. I will take any episode with
• 0:16
  this person right here. I would like to introduce a new
• 0:21
  member of the Adventures in a Diversity Family.
• 0:24
  Misses I was going to say Miss was like Miss, she's my friend,
• 0:28
  so I can do that. Misses Kendall Anderson Hello.
• 0:34
  She is a very multifaceted person, but most importantly, I
• 0:38
  want to first introduce her as my friend because I think
• 0:44
  there's a very, we're going to get into the fact that she's an
• 0:47
  author, the fact that she's a physical therapist, she's a
• 0:51
  doctor. She is many, many things.
• 0:55
  But I think it's it would be awesome to start out with just
• 0:59
  kind of kicking off with how did we meet?
• 1:03
  How did we meet? How did we meet?
• 1:05
  Jade Jade's event was one of Jade's event.
• 1:08
  Jade's events the retreat wasn't the first time we met at the
• 1:13
  runway. The runway, the the runway show
• 1:18
  Jade. Yeah.
• 1:20
  OK so our friend Jade, who were going to her house for BBQ after
• 1:24
  this, she runs events. And you were there.
• 1:28
  I was MC Yeah. It was my first time doing MC
• 1:31
  anything. And I remember looking at and
• 1:34
  this is actually this is a perfectly did because my first
• 1:38
  impression of Kendall was here is this very nice, very calm
• 1:43
  person because you and you are you're very calm, unlike me.
• 1:48
  And it was a high stress environment fashion show.
• 1:52
  Things were late. Jade was hosting.
• 1:54
  I was the first time MCE. I was like, what am I doing?
• 1:57
  And I remember you being like, I'm going to go I'm going to go
• 2:00
  check on her. We're.
• 2:01
  Going to make sure we're like check on Jade, yeah?
• 2:05
  So your first, my first impression of you is that you
• 2:08
  are like, blessed are the peacemakers.
• 2:10
  Blessed are the calm presence in my life.
• 2:15
  She is one of the top fans of the podcast.
• 2:19
  I will say she has there's a, there's a select few who just
• 2:24
  always show me love and she's one of them.
• 2:27
  So I'm going to stop talking now we met, but I do want to
• 2:32
  reference one thing. You really bonded on your 40th
• 2:35
  birthday. Yeah.
• 2:36
  And where was that? We were.
• 2:37
  At the Creekside Women's Retreat.
• 2:42
  Retreat. Women's Retreat.
• 2:43
  We were up in Mount Vernon, the women's retreat.
• 2:47
  Yeah, And I just happened to have a birthday. 40th birthday
• 2:51
  with a bunch of ladies. Yes, it was it was it was your
• 2:56
  40th birthday. And you know, I remember retreat
• 2:59
  and, and do you remember these little guys?
• 3:01
  Oh yes, Jesus was with us. Little baby Jesus.
• 3:05
  No, not baby pocket size. Pocket size.
• 3:08
  Jesus. We're going to put them right
• 3:09
  here. This was one from the retreat.
• 3:11
  Yeah, that's why I brought it. He was here, he was there.
• 3:15
  Well, and if you've been listening to the podcast, you
• 3:18
  might have seen that starting in April, the week after that
• 3:22
  retreat, the podcast started talking about God all of a
• 3:28
  sudden. So she was part of just and I
• 3:32
  think we'll get to that when we talk about like spirituality,
• 3:35
  you are in the crew that has helped me kind of just
• 3:38
  rediscover my relationship with God and and it's just AI don't
• 3:44
  even know. I can't.
• 3:44
  There's too much to talk about with that, that whole retreat
• 3:46
  and that you were there and that's how we I was.
• 3:48
  There, that's how we bonded. That's how we bonded.
• 3:50
  Literally. Literally, Kendall.
• 3:56
  Oh, did you see the light flicker there?
• 3:58
  This. This, my friends, is written by
• 4:01
  Kendall. Congratulations on your first of
• 4:05
  many. I know you.
• 4:06
  She's already got another one in the works.
• 4:08
  Children's book written by Kendall Anderson, illustrated by
• 4:14
  I'm going to Have You Say Your Name.
• 4:17
  Noreen Bhagdasarian. Nareen Bhagdasarian, I
• 4:22
  recovered, yes. OK, you got it.
• 4:24
  Now everyone wants me to be quiet, so I'm going to be quiet
• 4:28
  and I'm going to let Kendall because everyone is.
• 4:30
  No one's here for me. They're here for the guests.
• 4:32
  Come on. Just Fast forward the podcast
• 4:34
  host. Tell us all about this beautiful
• 4:37
  book and how it came to be. Yeah, so the book came kind of
• 4:45
  out of some frustration a couple years ago.
• 4:48
  My baby girl is in 4th grade now, so maybe first grade, 2nd
• 4:51
  grade. And my babies are biracial.
• 4:55
  They both have different skin tones.
• 4:57
  They both have different hair textures and colors.
• 5:03
  So maybe it's first grade, 2nd grade, she was getting a lot of
• 5:06
  pressure and coming home and saying I want straight hair, I
• 5:08
  want a different color hair. I don't want to look the way I
• 5:12
  want to look and it broke my heart.
• 5:14
  She has beautiful curly hair. It broke my heart for her at
• 5:19
  that age to be getting pressure to change.
• 5:23
  I know it's something we deal with as adults, but we have a
• 5:26
  little more life experience as we get older To deal with that
• 5:32
  and to have my baby girl tell me she wanted me to straighten her
• 5:35
  hair and dye her hair a different color just broke my
• 5:38
  heart. Color too that that that early
• 5:41
  yeah, yeah, like and not yeah, it's to want to change your
• 5:45
  appearance like that, yeah. Why?
• 5:46
  Like no one at that age should be even be aware of any of them.
• 5:50
  It should just be another person.
• 5:54
  And my cathartic work through my feelings is leave myself, talk
• 5:59
  to text notes. I can put my phone down, my
• 6:05
  quiet time in the morning on the way to work, I will talk to
• 6:08
  text. And I just kind of just let out
• 6:12
  my feelings. It was a hard drive to work.
• 6:14
  And I left it there. And maybe six months later, as I
• 6:19
  was cleaning out my old notes, I came back across it.
• 6:22
  And my husband and I have for years joked like, there's a lot
• 6:25
  of really bad books out there, like kids books.
• 6:29
  Not only poorly written, but like the moral of the story
• 6:34
  isn't good, It's not a good book.
• 6:35
  Why would I read this to my child?
• 6:38
  And I had I in hindsight, I have to say I had like a God moment
• 6:42
  that said use this and make your own book.
• 6:47
  And so I kind of took my very rough talk to text words and
• 6:53
  tried to formulate them into a kid friendly book about why
• 6:59
  being different is so beautiful and this is how we were made to
• 7:04
  be. And what if life, What if
• 7:06
  everything in life wasn't different?
• 7:08
  What if everything was the same and we just lose so much and so
• 7:14
  much I the world would be really boring.
• 7:18
  It would and the book is called Different and when I read it, it
• 7:21
  was last Saturday. We read it at dinner.
• 7:24
  The cool thing about it. So it's called different.
• 7:27
  I also want to show you the back cover and link in the show
• 7:32
  notes. If you've already decided you're
• 7:33
  buying it without even hearing it, I can totally understand.
• 7:36
  The link is in the show notes to where you can order it and all
• 7:41
  of that good stuff as well as your website, right?
• 7:44
  So all of that will be there. But what I think is super cool
• 7:47
  about it is it's not just like a book about being different and
• 7:51
  there's some beautiful dedications.
• 7:53
  It literally the whole premise of like the what if everything
• 7:58
  was the same, right? And like, so you, what you do is
• 8:02
  you go through like everyday situations and I remember
• 8:06
  reading it and I'm like, Oh my gosh, that would be really
• 8:09
  boring. But you do it in a way where
• 8:11
  kids can understand. So I'll let you kind of do you
• 8:13
  have any favorite, favorite pages Or you can, would you like
• 8:16
  to read it extra check to read a little bit.
• 8:18
  Sure. OK, I'll be quiet again.
• 8:22
  Well, this is my favorite. Did you just turn to your
• 8:25
  favorite page? My favorite?
• 8:26
  Page and I just turned. To know it God.
• 8:29
  God is what if every meal was exactly the same?
• 8:35
  I know. Yeah, there you go.
• 8:36
  Here. It's pretty boring.
• 8:38
  There's no color in that. No, most importantly, there's no
• 8:41
  fruit or vegetable. No.
• 8:42
  OK, very starchy. It's born illustrations.
• 8:47
  Are she did a great job, great job and this is also one of my
• 8:53
  favorite pages. This was one of the first
• 8:54
  sketches she gave. Me OK the this is the
• 8:56
  inspiration sketch. This is one of her first
• 8:58
  sketches this first page and I fell in love with this.
• 9:02
  I was like you cannot edit this. These are your people.
• 9:04
  This is Oh yes. What if there was only one?
• 9:07
  Some type of pet? They're slugs.
• 9:10
  I mean, if you're a slug person, awesome.
• 9:14
  I'm not. No.
• 9:16
  What would happen to cat cuddlers, dog lovers, fish fans
• 9:21
  or lizard keepers to have some fish for everyone?
• 9:27
  You make it relatable to all the things that kids are into.
• 9:31
  And then, but even as an adult, I was like this, this you keep
• 9:35
  presenting all those situations that if there was no
• 9:38
  differences, it would be very boring and very weird.
• 9:43
  It came from a place of someone calling my daughter out on the
• 9:46
  appearance. But I think for all of us, and
• 9:50
  especially for kids, to take it to a level of what if there was
• 9:54
  only one type of pet? What if you only ate the same
• 9:57
  thing for every meal for the rest of your life?
• 10:01
  Taking that difference and putting it in a different
• 10:03
  context, I think helps anybody understand the beauty in the
• 10:09
  different ways, the different ways we sound.
• 10:13
  Well, and in the book too, like tell me about the process.
• 10:18
  So the process of writing it initially was the voice note,
• 10:22
  and then did you find the process of refining it?
• 10:25
  Yes, it was. I am not author by trade.
• 10:30
  I am not the English language by trade.
• 10:34
  I'm, I'm very scientific minded. So it was very interesting to
• 10:39
  like edit and I, my sister is much better at the English
• 10:42
  language than I am. And she'd be like, you need a
• 10:45
  comma here and you need a comma there.
• 10:47
  And I'm like, thank you for the commas because I would have left
• 10:49
  them all out. No, it was interesting and even
• 10:53
  working with my author as she was developing pictures, there
• 10:59
  was a couple pages that weren't even initially in my my rant, I
• 11:05
  will call it and in my initial notes and just being able to
• 11:10
  work with her and play with the different ideas we added a page
• 11:15
  later on about color and like the colors in the world.
• 11:20
  And her illustration is one of my favorite illustrations as
• 11:23
  well. And it just that collaboration
• 11:28
  was pretty cool. The back and forth with the
• 11:29
  illustrator. Yeah, yeah.
• 11:32
  And, and I'm sure as we were writing it and it was coming to
• 11:35
  life visually and you're seeing this whole thing like you're
• 11:40
  like, wow, right. Was it?
• 11:41
  Exciting, amazing and exciting. I was like, this is kind of.
• 11:45
  Real. Now they're like this, is the
• 11:46
  phrase. And I didn't tell a ton of
• 11:49
  people that I was doing this. She didn't.
• 11:52
  We saw it. I was like, what?
• 11:53
  But I I totally get it. And when it actually showed up
• 11:57
  on my front door on Christmas Eve, it was quite the gift.
• 12:00
  I didn't think I was going to get it for another week.
• 12:03
  It was like it was quite the Christmas gift.
• 12:05
  And it was real because I had it in my hands and it wasn't just
• 12:10
  this idea or this project I was working on.
• 12:13
  It was a real thing that I could share with people.
• 12:17
  Can you read a few pages? Sure.
• 12:19
  OK. I'm going to just pick off where
• 12:20
  we can talk. With the pets.
• 12:21
  Yes, what if everyone did the same job?
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  Should be bad because I'm not good at anything.
• 12:28
  No. Who would make sure that all the
• 12:32
  different and important jobs were done?
• 12:39
  What if every car was the same? How would you ever find your car
• 12:43
  in a parking lot? Plus it's so much more fun to
• 12:47
  see all the different cars on the road.
• 12:50
  It would be boring. I agree.
• 12:51
  I grew up in a car house like. Wearing these cars?
• 12:54
  Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah.
• 12:56
  My dad was into cars. Cars so her dad's very cool
• 12:58
  shout out to your dad yeah your parents are probably.
• 13:01
  Lot of cars are cool. Hi guys, you're awesome.
• 13:03
  You raised an amazing child. They are awesome.
• 13:07
  What if there was only one type of hair?
• 13:10
  Differences in the hair texture, color, length, style make each
• 13:15
  individual unique and beautiful. I say this is this is like.
• 13:19
  You go into each aspect that could be different and then you
• 13:23
  really like zoom in on it almost right?
• 13:27
  I tried. There was and there was lots of
• 13:28
  rewriting and writing and how do I say this?
• 13:31
  And this book could have been hundreds of pages of long if we
• 13:36
  had captured every difference. It's so hard.
• 13:40
  Right. But I, I need to make it
• 13:42
  succinct because no child is going to sit through that.
• 13:44
  And that's my my target audience.
• 13:46
  Yeah, that's our it's. A lot of the core, the core
• 13:50
  things that day-to-day a lot of kids run into, I think, at least
• 13:53
  as a parent. What makes it real for a kid,
• 13:55
  right? Yeah.
• 13:57
  What do they care about? They don't care about what I
• 13:58
  care about. They care about pets and cool
• 14:01
  cars. And yes.
• 14:03
  Those types of things. What if we all thought moved in
• 14:11
  the same way? So much creativity and
• 14:14
  perspective would be lost without having different
• 14:16
  abilities, which she did a really good job.
• 14:20
  And again, she was like, I could write 100 people.
• 14:23
  And I was like, yeah, we. But.
• 14:26
  And we're different abilities, we're good at different things,
• 14:31
  whether that's a job or being calm or being the exciting
• 14:36
  person in the. Oh, yes, yes.
• 14:39
  Some people are really fast at running and some are really slow
• 14:42
  at running and we all have a different place and roll with
• 14:47
  our abilities. By design, yes, that's what I
• 14:49
  meant. That's what I've literally just
• 14:51
  started. And like you were actually
• 14:52
  intentionally designed that way. I'm like, wait, what?
• 14:54
  Yes. You were meant to run fast and I
• 14:56
  was meant to run slow. And so that you could do this
• 14:58
  other thing. Because yes, there is a reason
• 15:01
  why, right? And.
• 15:03
  This is great for adults too. I like, I feel like, like I'm
• 15:07
  like you're literally doing story time.
• 15:10
  Like I feel better. I'm I'm glad one of the rooms.
• 15:14
  So. But it's fine.
• 15:16
  We all have a purpose and the things we're good at are going
• 15:19
  to serve us in something in life, and the things we're not
• 15:21
  good at, it's not. Our Let other people be good at
• 15:24
  it. You can sit out on that one.
• 15:26
  Absolutely, yeah, it's great. You surround people who with
• 15:30
  yourself with people who maybe I'm not great at this, but she's
• 15:33
  great at this. And together we're a great team,
• 15:35
  and that's how the world is meant to be.
• 15:38
  Very true. Created and designed this way,
• 15:41
  and we're given what you were supposed to have.
• 15:43
  We can talk about who designed it shortly.
• 15:46
  OK, so yes, keep going to do do a few more pages because it's
• 15:49
  very. What if everyone was exactly the
• 15:52
  same height, shape and body size?
• 15:56
  Who would reach the top shelf or be a basketball star?
• 16:01
  Who would be a jockey or a sumo wrestler?
• 16:04
  Differences help us each excel at our own role in life, which
• 16:08
  is kind of what we were talking about, right?
• 16:10
  Like, yeah. And it's not this page is a
• 16:13
  little more about what was seen. And maybe at a page about things
• 16:16
  that aren't seen, we don't know what it never.
• 16:21
  Not everything's physical, right?
• 16:22
  Or, or that we see. But there's like we were just
• 16:28
  saying you were created specifically like you were
• 16:30
  created or a specific role and whether you found that today or
• 16:35
  next year or. Takes time, sometimes some
• 16:38
  people find it early. Some people find it early and
• 16:41
  some people it takes you a lifetime to figure out where
• 16:44
  that hole or what is that purpose of this?
• 16:48
  I'm a really slow runner. Why?
• 16:51
  And that if that's eating, I don't care.
• 16:53
  I'm never going to run. It's OK.
• 16:54
  But if if that eats away at you, there's a reason because it's
• 16:58
  something else, right? There's there's another reason.
• 17:01
  Why? Yeah, totally, totally.
• 17:04
  There's so much good artwork. I mean, it's the artwork is
• 17:07
  beautiful, which kids kids need the visual.
• 17:10
  They need that, absolutely. What if there was only one type
• 17:14
  of clothes? Which Steve Job would say is a
• 17:17
  good thing, but. I mean, I like to express myself
• 17:20
  based on how I'm feeling, so there's a tough place.
• 17:26
  How would we express ourselves through different colors?
• 17:30
  And Giles of clothes. Look how fun her wardrobe is.
• 17:34
  That is cool. She's a colorful, colorful
• 17:38
  Canadian. I was going to say.
• 17:39
  Jade, Jade, What if everyone had the exact same ideas?
• 17:46
  How much creativity and variety would we miss out on?
• 17:49
  How many new inventions would not be made?
• 17:53
  How many adventures would not be taken?
• 17:57
  You see, you think of things that aren't just like beyond the
• 18:00
  basic to you also talk about how many different adventures
• 18:03
  different and I'm like you paint difference in a really exciting
• 18:07
  light versus right now when someone feels different, maybe
• 18:11
  they feel like isolation. You're like, it's immediate
• 18:14
  shame. Or separation.
• 18:16
  Yeah, right. Let's say different can feel
• 18:19
  like, oh, I'm different, I'm bad or I'm different.
• 18:23
  I don't fit in and and that's OK because if we didn't think
• 18:29
  differently, we would who would have created a computer?
• 18:33
  If you're in my mind, a computer would never come out and we
• 18:36
  would never have a computer or whatever that is.
• 18:40
  You need those different thoughts.
• 18:41
  You need the different ways people think to solve problems
• 18:45
  in life, to solve a problem in a different way.
• 18:50
  Maybe my idea is not working for you, but the next person who
• 18:54
  gives you some advice might have it works right?
• 18:56
  Yeah, yeah, for. You in this moment and we need
• 18:59
  that differences and again, I try to get in a concise way
• 19:06
  different reasons why being different on a lot of different
• 19:09
  levels is is good for us and important.
• 19:12
  It turns the idea of being different.
• 19:14
  If you ever had thought it wasn't good, it show.
• 19:16
  It showcases all the amazing sides with really specific
• 19:21
  visual examples and it's got it tells a story like where you get
• 19:25
  like it. I we read it.
• 19:27
  I read it last Saturday at dinner.
• 19:28
  We took the kids to Walnut Creek and I remember sitting was I was
• 19:33
  sitting at the table, right? Is that what I read it And it
• 19:36
  was just like, I enjoyed reading it like it was really visual.
• 19:40
  It's it's nice to hold a book and like a good book and like
• 19:45
  hearing the story behind it, that it came from your
• 19:48
  experience as a mom, right? What does Amber think of this of
• 19:54
  the book? She enjoys that she she got one
• 19:57
  As for Christmas since it showed up on Christmas Eve and she's
• 20:00
  like time this for me. She's like, I need your
• 20:03
  signature. She was your muse.
• 20:05
  Yeah, absolutely. And it's funny, my son goes, can
• 20:08
  I have 1? He wants his own book.
• 20:10
  That's where the next one's coming.
• 20:11
  So and. It's for you too.
• 20:13
  And he's like, no, it's not. And the next one is in the.
• 20:16
  Works. It is in the works.
• 20:18
  So the series begins. It does.
• 20:21
  Michelle see. Fantastic.
• 20:24
  No. And and this actually reminds me
• 20:25
  of at our school this week there was it was different abilities
• 20:30
  week. It was like awareness awareness.
• 20:32
  So Monday was there was 5 different colors that you had to
• 20:36
  wear just if if you wanted to red shirt, white shirt, green
• 20:40
  shirt, blue. And there was one day that was
• 20:42
  invisible disabilities. There was one that was like
• 20:47
  psychological disability is 1 physical.
• 20:51
  So like the kids that are in wheelchairs where if you wore
• 20:54
  that color, you're just showing that you're in, you know, you've
• 20:57
  got their back. So I was telling my kids on one
• 21:01
  of the days about invisible disabilities that like people,
• 21:05
  we talk a lot on this podcast about mental health and just the
• 21:10
  conditions you have. Or the fact that when you walk
• 21:13
  into school and somebody's, you know, looking different, they
• 21:17
  might be going through something that day or have a situation at
• 21:20
  home that's rough, or they have an undiagnosed condition, or
• 21:25
  maybe they're taking new medicine that you just, you just
• 21:29
  don't know. So it reminded me when you're
• 21:31
  like, you have no clue. So teaching our kids early to
• 21:36
  respond with curiosity and compassion.
• 21:38
  Yeah, absolutely. And I appreciate our defenses,
• 21:40
  right like brings up a few thoughts on my yeah, Amber, my
• 21:46
  oldest is also we have come to be aware of in the last couple
• 21:51
  years. She's dyslexic.
• 21:52
  Not something you can see. Not something.
• 21:55
  Yeah. Not something that we as her
• 22:00
  parents were even aware of until a little over a year ago.
• 22:03
  And that is a whole journey. And that's not something that
• 22:08
  people can see. It's not something that her
• 22:09
  classmates are aware of and I nor do they need to be.
• 22:12
  But that is a different struggle for her.
• 22:15
  And that is something that affects how she presents in
• 22:18
  class and how she carries herself.
• 22:19
  And she knows that certain things are more difficult for
• 22:22
  her for so unseen. And then even on for us adults,
• 22:28
  there's I work in a hospital and there is a sensitivity training
• 22:33
  that we have to go through every year.
• 22:34
  And I'd say a couple years back, they try to revamp it every
• 22:38
  couple years to keep it fresh so we don't fall asleep while we're
• 22:41
  watching it. But it was probably a couple
• 22:44
  years ago. And they've kept the speech with
• 22:47
  peace, which I'm glad they have. It's maybe a minute and a half,
• 22:50
  two-minute video and there's no talking.
• 22:53
  It is music, but there's little bubbles that pop up next to
• 22:57
  everyone. And it is, I just had a baby, my
• 23:01
  mom just got diagnosed with cancer.
• 23:04
  I just lost someone. It is just, and it's a video of
• 23:07
  someone walking through the hospital and there's negative
• 23:09
  and there's positive and there's in between and it's and it's
• 23:14
  kind of just like chilling that like you don't know what
• 23:19
  someone's going through. You don't.
• 23:22
  At all, whether they're there to work.
• 23:25
  Like they're the happiest person in town.
• 23:27
  They. Could have a smile on their
• 23:28
  face. They're there to work.
• 23:29
  They're not there to work. There there as a patient.
• 23:32
  They're not there as a patient. You don't know what each person
• 23:35
  is carrying every day. And that's that's silent.
• 23:38
  But there's a hard time at home or an internal struggle.
• 23:42
  Or maybe they're ADHD or dyslexic or any number of
• 23:48
  different learning disabilities that maybe are not visible.
• 23:53
  So to give people a little grace that like not to say that a
• 23:57
  external something you can see is any easier, but.
• 24:03
  Just. To give everybody grace because
• 24:05
  we don't know what someone is carrying or what they're going
• 24:09
  through and. You don't know when you're going
• 24:11
  to need it, when if you see someone in a situation too, like
• 24:15
  they might not have thought they'll ever be in that
• 24:17
  situation. And then something happened or a
• 24:19
  sudden diagnosis, like it humbles you, things can turn on
• 24:24
  a dive. Yeah.
• 24:26
  And. Absolutely.
• 24:27
  So it's normal until it's not? Yes.
• 24:30
  Yeah. And do you love the the we hear
• 24:32
  the we're very grateful for the landscaping that we can hear
• 24:36
  right now in the background. Yeah, sure.
• 24:38
  Let me just close the window. And I was like this podcast.
• 24:42
  If you've been watching regularly, you get all kinds of
• 24:46
  kid open doors and interrupt. This is how we roll.
• 24:49
  It's real life. It's real life and the leaves
• 24:53
  need to be collect. You know they do important.
• 24:57
  Things. It's extremely important and not
• 25:01
  to me, but. You know, it's like to somebody.
• 25:04
  And I'm just going to 1st. I just want to cheat.
• 25:06
  Whoa, as I was to see I feel like God was listening to that
• 25:10
  one. I want to.
• 25:11
  I wish it was like a champagne glass.
• 25:13
  We're. Not that sorry.
• 25:15
  It's fine, you know that the excitement is not any less with
• 25:18
  a Modelo can, because I love Modelo.
• 25:20
  Yes, my dad doesn't explaining you're losing.
• 25:23
  So what I was trying to say is let me flash this up again.
• 25:27
  You flash it up proudly. It's yours.
• 25:29
  Different written by Kendall Anderson, illustrated by, I'm
• 25:33
  going to say it, Narine Baghdasarian, available for
• 25:38
  purchase online. It's a beautiful, beautifully
• 25:42
  illustrated book. Please go check it out, gift it
• 25:46
  to a friend, read it yourself. I think honestly, it's just a
• 25:52
  beautiful I I love hearing the story behind it because when you
• 25:56
  know that it's come out of like a a real human experience, it's
• 26:01
  it's even more meaningful, you know, yeah, now I do want to
• 26:07
  there's guys, she's multifaceted.
• 26:09
  OK, if you thought it was just about the book, there's more.
• 26:12
  OK. Oh, see, that was the call from
• 26:14
  me. Whenever it flickers, that's God
• 26:16
  saying yes. Oh, yes, sorry.
• 26:18
  The if one day when this is a real studio, we'll have a a
• 26:22
  place for the the guests. Perfect coat hanger.
• 26:25
  And we'll have the producer will be be like, oh, hey, you can
• 26:28
  please put your stuff here and someone will bring you.
• 26:30
  There's a spot right there you we were talking about, not the
• 26:36
  training that you know, you, you learn not you never know what's
• 26:40
  going on with people. Tell me about your job, Doctor
• 26:45
  Anderson. I'm a physical therapist.
• 26:47
  I work in a hospital primarily on the ICU and our step down
• 26:55
  unit. I think I go.
• 26:56
  Step down. Is that one step in between OK?
• 27:00
  Ice, use your sickest patients. We have a step down unit and
• 27:03
  then there's the medical floor. It's like a normal hospital
• 27:06
  floor. That step down is kind of the in
• 27:08
  between. You're not at the medical floor
• 27:10
  yet. Some people call it progressive
• 27:15
  care. Step down unit, same same thing.
• 27:16
  I thought it was actually just regular and then ICU, there's
• 27:19
  this, there's that makes sense and.
• 27:21
  Small hospitals maybe don't have all those.
• 27:23
  We're a pretty big hospital, yeah.
• 27:25
  And we're a trauma center, a stroke center.
• 27:29
  So birth, I had babies there. Birth center popped out a couple
• 27:33
  kids. There.
• 27:34
  I had both mine there. No, you don't go there.
• 27:38
  It's not your friends. Oh, oh, right, right, right.
• 27:41
  You don't go to the birth. I mean, there's moms that mean
• 27:44
  there will be there. Oh, right.
• 27:45
  But your physical because you do.
• 27:47
  Impossible physical. I work.
• 27:49
  I meet you at your bedside. This makes so much sense.
• 27:53
  I come to you. Whether you want to get out of
• 27:56
  bed or not. They're like that Lady who makes
• 27:59
  me get up is here. It's you.
• 28:02
  It's I'm here. OK, what's your standard
• 28:06
  greeting? It depends on if I can pronounce
• 28:08
  their name or not. OK.
• 28:10
  If I cannot pronounce your name, I'm Kendall and my physical
• 28:13
  therapist. Today or Good morning.
• 28:16
  How are you? I'm Mr. Misty.
• 28:20
  So yeah, I'm from technical therapy.
• 28:21
  It's time to get up, OK? Doctors wants us to get moving.
• 28:26
  I got to blame someone else for why I'm there, because then they
• 28:28
  don't have to. Like.
• 28:29
  Someone else told me to come. Someone told me and now some
• 28:33
  people are happy to see you. Absolutely.
• 28:35
  Now give me the ratio of happy to see you versus not.
• 28:38
  Does it depend on you're on all three floors?
• 28:41
  I primarily work on the ICU and the step down unit which is
• 28:44
  pretty similar. Wow.
• 28:46
  That's a lot. That's. 5050 and it depends on
• 28:49
  the. ICU, it's a different story,
• 28:51
  obviously, right? But yeah, yeah, OK, tell me.
• 28:55
  And again, I'm all over the place.
• 28:57
  You know me. We were talking about before how
• 29:00
  depending on what room you're walking into, you can't.
• 29:04
  You have a set of skills and you have all your training and your
• 29:08
  agile. This would be a false statement.
• 29:12
  Doctor Kendall Anderson enters the room and treats every
• 29:15
  patient exactly the same, gives the same energy.
• 29:18
  False. Why?
• 29:20
  I treat everyone the same in the sense that no matter who you
• 29:26
  are, why you're here, what your story is, you need my services
• 29:34
  and you need to get out of bed and you need a good healthcare.
• 29:38
  I treat you the same in that, but the energy.
• 29:42
  A 20 year old with a femur fracture versus an 80 year old
• 29:47
  with a UTI or an 80 year old with a femur fracture, They're
• 29:50
  tough, need different energy and what I how I enter the room, how
• 29:59
  my tone of voice, my volume, volume, the words I I might have
• 30:05
  to scream for the 80 year old. Maybe I don't have to scream for
• 30:07
  the 80 year old. My if it's an 80 year old miss
• 30:14
  is so and so different. And not that I'm going to be
• 30:16
  disrespectful to this one year old, but there's a different
• 30:20
  generational You have to read the room quickly.
• 30:25
  Yes, within. 4. If this person a jokester, do
• 30:28
  they not want to hear my jokes? I have some great hospital
• 30:30
  jokes, but not everyone wants to hear.
• 30:32
  That I want hospital jokes. The cheesier the better.
• 30:36
  No free shows. I will cover your backside.
• 30:39
  I've got you if. See, I need someone to make a
• 30:44
  joke when you're. And there's a time and a place
• 30:46
  and a joke lightens the situation.
• 30:48
  And they're stupid and I know they're stupid and that is OK,
• 30:53
  but there's a room that I walk into and I'm like, this is not
• 30:57
  the place for me to have a joke. Whether it is the patient, the
• 31:00
  family, the mood in the room. You feel like.
• 31:04
  You have to be able to read that when you walk into a room and or
• 31:08
  if I lay a bad joke and no one laughs, I have to pivot.
• 31:12
  OK, how could we Just let's get out.
• 31:18
  Sometimes you swing and miss and that's.
• 31:20
  OK, but you do have to have the ability to pivot to.
• 31:24
  It's the quick pivot. OK, so this is a serious
• 31:27
  situation. Let's let's do this.
• 31:29
  Let's do that and and joking in light like I know nobody wants
• 31:33
  to be in the hospital. The one is excited about being I
• 31:35
  get paid to be there. You do not.
• 31:38
  You don't want to be there, even if it was an elective surgery
• 31:41
  that you chose. It's still you're.
• 31:43
  Still ready to go home? You're still trying to get to a
• 31:45
  different state, yes, and you're currently in.
• 31:48
  Yes. And I was saying I meet a lot of
• 31:50
  people in a position that they did not choose to come to the
• 31:52
  hospital there in ICU there was an accident there was or they
• 31:57
  had a stroke or they did not choose and got to be able to
• 32:03
  kind of meet them where they are in a good place or a bad place
• 32:07
  and just kind of move forward in a in a positive note.
• 32:11
  What have you learned about being a someone who's caring for
• 32:20
  somebody who in a almost like, what advice do you have to
• 32:25
  somebody who is shepherding someone through adversity,
• 32:28
  whether it's through physical to the doctors out there, to the
• 32:33
  caretakers of the parents at home, to the mom with her
• 32:36
  newborn baby, to the friend with the depressed friend or the
• 32:40
  friend with the depressed husband, or what?
• 32:43
  Either way, what what do you how do you know what are some things
• 32:49
  that come to mind that are like essentials for your job to care
• 32:53
  take like that it. Is tough.
• 32:55
  It is tough to care take and there's you don't always realize
• 32:59
  what you bring home. And I'm very lucky I didn't have
• 33:01
  to bring my work home in the physical sense.
• 33:03
  But there are days I come home very tired, right and worn out
• 33:08
  and I go into Round 2 with my kids and I'm like, I got nothing
• 33:11
  for you. I have nothing for you.
• 33:13
  Mommy is done. I can't take a why I can't take
• 33:16
  A and I and it's and I don't always do this well, but some
• 33:21
  awareness and asking for Hey, I need 10 minutes when no one asks
• 33:25
  me anything. I need to go hide in the
• 33:29
  bathroom because that's the only place no one will leave me alone
• 33:32
  out. Don't bug me for 10 minutes.
• 33:33
  I will come right back. Yeah.
• 33:37
  Yeah. And hospitals are noisy places,
• 33:41
  right? There's dinging, there's alarms
• 33:43
  going off. The constant monitoring.
• 33:46
  Constant things. There's always noise, certainly,
• 33:51
  and and for family members and for patients alike.
• 33:53
  It is. I joke with patients, but not
• 33:56
  really joking. That is not a place to rest.
• 33:58
  You do not go to the hospital to take a nap because you're not
• 34:01
  going to get one. It is noisy.
• 34:03
  There are people checking on you.
• 34:04
  Someone's taking your vitals at 2:00 AM.
• 34:07
  Oh yeah, it. But, but you're at the hospital,
• 34:09
  you're I'll there, you need your vitals at 2.
• 34:11
  I mean, even on the medical floors, like people are checking
• 34:14
  on you in the middle of the night.
• 34:14
  And that is not normal for your sleep cycles.
• 34:16
  And like, so whether you're a staff member or a family member
• 34:20
  or a patient, creating space and being able to say, hey, I need,
• 34:24
  I need 5, I need 10, I need some space, I need a moment, I need
• 34:27
  to reset. So you can offer the best care
• 34:30
  too, yeah. Absolutely.
• 34:33
  And I'm sure some days you do that better than others, but
• 34:35
  like there's. Days I'm on and I can I leave
• 34:39
  and I don't feel jaded at all and there's days 30 minutes and
• 34:42
  I'm like, I'm jaded as heck. Yes, 'cause you take a deep.
• 34:46
  Breath. You know, you're literally, you
• 34:49
  know that you're walking into adversity.
• 34:52
  You're and then you're like, hi, I'm here to help you through
• 34:54
  adversity. And then the physical therapy,
• 34:56
  and I am my slice of adversity is physical therapy and your
• 35:03
  family's slice of it is supporting you and loving you
• 35:05
  and like sitting by whoops as I fall over, sitting by your bed.
• 35:09
  Because when someone's in the hospital, they need a team and
• 35:12
  you're you're a key player on that team.
• 35:15
  You need everything. You need people.
• 35:17
  Do you have some stories or anything that comes to mind of
• 35:22
  like patients that you'll never forget for whatever reason, like
• 35:27
  how they or just some things that come to mind with like
• 35:31
  stories that inspired you or or anything really when I say that,
• 35:35
  is there a person or a couple people that pop into your mind?
• 35:40
  There's always great stories. You can't tell them, just like I
• 35:45
  can't. But there was this one person
• 35:48
  who made me, I would say. It it is very interesting to see
• 35:52
  how different people handle or don't handle adversity.
• 35:59
  You watch them. Yeah, yeah, there's, there are
• 36:01
  people who from my standpoint, as someone who works in
• 36:05
  healthcare, are here for a very minor thing.
• 36:08
  And to them it is like I'm never going to.
• 36:16
  Slice, you know. You, you have a splinter and I'm
• 36:18
  exaggerating. You have a splinter in your
• 36:20
  thumb. We're going to pull it out.
• 36:21
  We're going to put a Band-Aid on it and you're going to go home.
• 36:24
  And there are people who that is just, I'm never going to my hand
• 36:28
  again. Life is.
• 36:30
  Over and again, I'm making myself exaggerating.
• 36:35
  But then there are people who have to have their skull cut
• 36:41
  open and a piece of their brain chunked out and then the skull
• 36:44
  put back on and they've got a drain coming out of their head
• 36:48
  and they are happy and they can see the light at the end of the
• 36:51
  tunnel. And they have.
• 36:54
  And it's not always just having other people.
• 36:56
  Like there's a young man in the ICU just this week who has been
• 37:03
  here three times and his family and him are just the most joy
• 37:10
  filled. Best.
• 37:12
  Best people and they find some light and even a dark moment
• 37:21
  hey, we're back but they know all the nurses and they.
• 37:24
  They're trying to. They're the best.
• 37:25
  Of them, I would say patient is moving well enough, but the
• 37:29
  other day he's walking in the hall and he is waving at people
• 37:32
  and making and saying hi and stopping and and we have therapy
• 37:36
  therapy dogs at work and he is making sure he says hi to them.
• 37:40
  And just it's interesting to see because his why that person is
• 37:48
  here. I could imagine that being very
• 37:53
  like woe is me. I don't know what I'm going to
• 37:57
  do and I would respect him for having that.
• 37:59
  Because it's serious. It is a serious thing and his
• 38:01
  family, I could, I could respect them having a lot of frustration
• 38:06
  and not being as kind to everybody because I could.
• 38:08
  I in my head could see myself on that scenario being very
• 38:12
  stressed out. You're not in the mood for that?
• 38:14
  Absolutely, yeah. But then I see people with the
• 38:16
  splinter in their thumb and it is like world.
• 38:20
  And it's just, it's interesting seeing.
• 38:23
  And I, I hope I learned from my patients that handle things and
• 38:26
  their families have a lot of grace for people and do find the
• 38:31
  light in a situation that I might not even be able to see it
• 38:35
  in versus those that don't handle adversity so well.
• 38:41
  And I, I don't mean, I think life perhaps you or doesn't prep
• 38:45
  you well for Yeah, like depending on what you've had to
• 38:47
  go through. And then like, it's so
• 38:50
  interesting that you see that because you must see a range of
• 38:55
  coping ways that they're coping every day from room to room and
• 39:01
  then the next day a whole new set.
• 39:03
  And then do you? I mean, the research is there.
• 39:07
  It's not little positive mindset is going to fix everything, but
• 39:10
  it sure as hell is going to help.
• 39:11
  Absolutely right. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 39:14
  And it's and it's not the what's the saying?
• 39:18
  Like you attract more flies with honey.
• 39:21
  And not to say that people aren't warranted to have bad
• 39:26
  days. I have bad days and I know I try
• 39:28
  not to bring that to my patients, but I know they're
• 39:30
  days I'm a little more salty than I should.
• 39:32
  Sure, we all have bad days, but if realizing that I'm maybe in a
• 39:38
  not so great situation but like having some some joy, finding a
• 39:43
  positive, having been grateful for the people that are there to
• 39:48
  help you is I think good for your own mind and soul and it
• 39:54
  serves the situation better for everybody.
• 39:59
  And the way that you think about your patients, I wonder if again
• 40:05
  very different. But when I encounter guests, I
• 40:09
  was telling Adam last week that you live rent free in my mind
• 40:14
  for the next week in a in the best way.
• 40:19
  Every guest for a week after I interview you, you are my new
• 40:23
  like little you're sitting on my shoulder.
• 40:26
  And so I feel like you you have these experiences with people or
• 40:29
  you see someone handle adversity or you go, wow, that guy is in a
• 40:33
  really bad spot and he just told me a joke and he's trying to
• 40:37
  make the best of a shitty situation where he's in pain and
• 40:40
  then you see another. So for me, I could go where
• 40:44
  someone's complaining about something and probably me, and
• 40:48
  then I think back to all my guests and I'm like, I was on a
• 40:52
  walk this morning and I'm like, yeah, whatever you're worried
• 40:55
  about, it's not as hard as remember that.
• 40:58
  Yeah. Yeah, there's not that it's not
• 40:59
  valid. It's just OK.
• 41:01
  But I'm pretty sure you can come back from what you're thinking
• 41:05
  because remember, he did, Yeah. And he had a lot worse.
• 41:08
  Yeah, yeah. And it's not a comparison train.
• 41:10
  It's just. Inspiration.
• 41:12
  Yeah, absolutely. It's realizing that you have
• 41:15
  this situation shit, but I'm going to be OK and I can be OK
• 41:21
  and God is going to make a way and I'm going to learn from
• 41:25
  this. This is going to serve me later
• 41:27
  in life. Is it tough right now?
• 41:28
  Yes. And there are people who can
• 41:31
  help me because they have been through it.
• 41:33
  And that is why those people went through those things
• 41:36
  because they can now help you in your struggle.
• 41:40
  And meeting other people who have been through more adversity
• 41:43
  or in my case, meeting people who are in pretty scary
• 41:46
  situations in the hospital, it gives me perspective and not to
• 41:49
  say that I don't have my woe with me moments.
• 41:51
  We all do. But there I can walk into out of
• 41:54
  a room and be like, I need to go home and be thankful for what I
• 41:57
  have today like there is and that's that's good and that's
• 42:01
  healthy. It's like your feelings just
• 42:05
  want to be seen and processed like they will they pass in
• 42:10
  time, even though like not to minimize like grief and all that
• 42:14
  stuff is real. But like for me, momentary
• 42:16
  frustration if I just, if I'm like, yeah, OK.
• 42:20
  Like you're really pissed. Like it's going to.
• 42:23
  It needs to be seen. And then it sort of tends to
• 42:25
  dissipate if you look at it. Name it.
• 42:29
  Name it. That's the thing.
• 42:31
  Like say it, name it. I'm feeling really pissed.
• 42:33
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a lot of situations
• 42:37
  where you're, you should be, should be pissed.
• 42:39
  You should have that. Thank you for processing your
• 42:43
  emotions. It's when we bottle them up like
• 42:45
  we have more problems, right? Like I only just started
• 42:47
  processing. It's hard to process your
• 42:50
  emotion and to have people around you who the hardest thing
• 42:54
  I've ever done and to have people around you that will
• 42:56
  support you in that right. That that is who also want you
• 43:01
  to process them and want you to be yourself.
• 43:03
  And then they're also working on themselves because if you're
• 43:05
  all, you'll be like, Hey, remember I thought you were
• 43:08
  working on that thing. You're like, right?
• 43:10
  Fuck. And yes, that's really shitty,
• 43:15
  Bree, but. Are are we gonna?
• 43:17
  But you have. A You have a roof over your head
• 43:19
  today so. Totally.
• 43:21
  Like, yeah. And again, not to minimize, I
• 43:24
  hear. But it could always be worse.
• 43:26
  But it pretty much yeah, yeah. And if it does get worse, I'm
• 43:30
  here. We're whatever that next step.
• 43:32
  Is there's a series of challenges?
• 43:35
  Absolutely. Now to bring this guy who is
• 43:39
  sitting here, we've talked about how Kendall is a fantastic
• 43:42
  author. Again, reminder.
• 43:44
  See, I'm learning how to become a podcast host.
• 43:46
  Throughout the show, I like to remind people of what the next
• 43:50
  step here and it is to go check out her book in the show notes.
• 43:53
  See, you reminded me to say that he's like, he's like, before you
• 43:56
  talk about me, can you just remind him to go buy the book
• 44:00
  for your children, nieces, nephews, all the people I want
• 44:04
  to talk about. So we talked about the book.
• 44:06
  We talked about your job adversity.
• 44:09
  It seems like there might have been, if I'm guessing he might
• 44:14
  have inspired a little bit of this.
• 44:15
  And I said, I'd love to hear about your faith journey, how it
• 44:20
  started. For anyone who's out there
• 44:22
  considering faith, maybe, maybe they might even have a
• 44:26
  misconception of Christian faith.
• 44:29
  What's your faith story? Yeah.
• 44:31
  I we grew, grew up in like a we went to a preschool that was
• 44:37
  like tied to some. Church like Christian preschool?
• 44:41
  Yes, Church. And then we didn't really go to
• 44:44
  church after we left there and tell me the junior high and my
• 44:48
  sister and I made some friends who went to a church and my
• 44:50
  parents kind of just tagged along with with us.
• 44:53
  I think we started going to like Wednesday night Bible studies.
• 44:57
  Central California, Yeah, Yes, Central California, just for
• 45:00
  worldwide listeners to know. Which is the Bible Belt of the
• 45:03
  California. Oh.
• 45:05
  Is it? 100% the Bible Belt of
• 45:07
  California. I've never heard that.
• 45:09
  Yeah. For sure.
• 45:11
  That's why you're so awesome. Central California is a little
• 45:14
  bit like so old. The best people.
• 45:19
  I'm a fruit snob. The best?
• 45:22
  Oh, it's literally where like the world gets their fruit I.
• 45:25
  Grew up in it. I'm a little bit of a.
• 45:27
  You are salt of your soil. You're good soil.
• 45:30
  There's lots of cows where I'm from.
• 45:32
  Yes, a dairy. I guess it's very tangential,
• 45:35
  but I was very involved. Junior high, high school, I, if
• 45:39
  there was an event, I was there. I was very I got a good base of
• 45:45
  Bible learning morals. Yeah, community.
• 45:50
  Community, that's a huge. Part of it.
• 45:51
  Yeah, I left for college to San Diego, my favorite place.
• 45:57
  Another great part of California.
• 45:59
  Just got to check it all out. She's a California queen.
• 46:02
  Yes, try all the areas. Doctor Queen of California,
• 46:07
  author. Doctor Queen of California.
• 46:09
  That's her. New name, but I'm going to sign
• 46:10
  that now. That's her new name.
• 46:14
  I did not connect well there with a Christian organization.
• 46:18
  OK, I went to a few. I think it was Campus Crusaders
• 46:22
  or something like that. I'm probably saying it wrong.
• 46:24
  I just did not find my place there.
• 46:27
  I lived my college years, I experienced life.
• 46:31
  I. We all did.
• 46:33
  We all do. No, I'm kidding.
• 46:36
  I went to grad school in LA and I did nothing but grad school
• 46:40
  and grad. School party, Grad school.
• 46:42
  Party. That was my life in grad school.
• 46:44
  Yeah. Remember, forget.
• 46:45
  Remember, forget. Don't know anything about
• 46:50
  anything that you're talking about.
• 46:51
  Never did that. Never, never, never.
• 46:55
  But in it was in that time I met my husband.
• 47:00
  Shout out to your hubby. Today is birthday.
• 47:04
  It's. His birthday today.
• 47:06
  Hey, happy birthday, Irv. And he's.
• 47:09
  Going like this right now, I know.
• 47:11
  He will. If you listen to me, not not to
• 47:13
  you, you better listen. He's going to shake his head to
• 47:17
  both of us. Don't worry only.
• 47:19
  OK, OK, cool. Well, you better listen to this.
• 47:22
  I'm quizzing him. Please.
• 47:25
  Do I will? Yeah, I met him.
• 47:30
  He was a Christian guy and I always still, you can ask my
• 47:34
  best friend, like even in undergrad when we were death
• 47:39
  studying in the middle of the night and we needed like a
• 47:41
  cognitive break. It would be like we'd be like,
• 47:45
  what do you want in a guy? And we'd be like making lists.
• 47:48
  And like a good Christian guy, always made my list.
• 47:51
  Like a solid cause? Yes, the.
• 47:53
  Surfer was there and he's not my surfer, but that's OK.
• 47:56
  Sorry. He knows it.
• 47:57
  He's. A basketball star.
• 47:59
  That's right, Coach. But it was always there.
• 48:04
  I had that. I'm very thankful for the years
• 48:07
  I had in the troops, that I had good morals.
• 48:10
  I had a compass. I compass.
• 48:12
  That's the key. I knew who Jesus was.
• 48:15
  I knew what he did for me, even though I was kind of in the
• 48:20
  stage of doing my own thing. But yeah, we didn't really get,
• 48:26
  or I didn't get back into going to church.
• 48:28
  We got married in San Diego. After I was in Lai, moved to San
• 48:33
  Diego for my first job. We were, we had taken a break at
• 48:37
  that point and then got back together, got married in San
• 48:40
  Diego. We moved up here.
• 48:43
  I'm very blessed. I can work pretty much anywhere.
• 48:45
  And at that time, San Diego had just downsized a bunch of
• 48:49
  schools and they were not hiring.
• 48:52
  If they were hiring, they were hiring back.
• 48:54
  The teachers they had just let go rightfully.
• 48:56
  And he had moved from DC. Yeah, he's ADC guy.
• 49:00
  To San Diego so jobs in San Diego for teachers were not the
• 49:04
  hotspot he did grad school up here he did school up here and
• 49:10
  so he had a lot of connections up here people wise and the Bay
• 49:14
  Area had jobs so we we moved up here and we had good friends who
• 49:19
  went to Creekside where we go now and.
• 49:23
  Shut up, we go there. She adopted me into Creekside.
• 49:27
  And. Think you do this?
• 49:29
  That I say. So he's like.
• 49:30
  Jesus, every time he's like. It's here.
• 49:35
  He started going there because my first job up here was
• 49:38
  actually Wednesday through Sunday.
• 49:39
  Lovely. I needed my foot in the door at
• 49:41
  a hospital and I got my foot in the door in the hospital.
• 49:44
  I did my time. We all pay our dues.
• 49:46
  That's right. But then once I I shifted to
• 49:51
  slowly shifted to it normally normal work week but he started
• 49:57
  going because his friends were there and then.
• 50:01
  This was before kids. You guys have 4?
• 50:03
  Kids. And then I started going on
• 50:06
  Sundays when I had them off and it was just the pastor that was
• 50:13
  there at the time was such just Bible teaching.
• 50:20
  I thought I knew a lot about the Bible.
• 50:23
  You're very I've been in a Bible study with her.
• 50:25
  She's like the stars do that. You just know a lot because.
• 50:28
  I remember a factoid. Yeah, but just he taught things
• 50:32
  in a different way. And a very like, this is what it
• 50:36
  says. Here's context to what it says.
• 50:39
  Here's what it meant in the world that it was written in.
• 50:43
  Here's a It was like little history.
• 50:44
  And I'm not a history buff or like, never really enjoyed that
• 50:48
  class. But the way he taught the Bible
• 50:50
  was very like this is historically what?
• 50:54
  What's? Going on and it is so important
• 50:57
  to understand the Bible and who was it who was the story written
• 51:01
  to and what was the purpose of it.
• 51:05
  So I really enjoyed and I've grown immensely in my faith and
• 51:11
  understanding. I still have so much to learn
• 51:15
  and so much to understand that is well above my head, but it is
• 51:20
  it is really opened up and like reconnected my my importance of
• 51:24
  Christian community because I'm a human and I'm going to mess it
• 51:28
  up and I'm going to do something wrong and I'm not going to
• 51:31
  understand it. I'm going to misinterpret it,
• 51:33
  and you need other people around you to help you be like Kendall
• 51:36
  that was. Well, that's not what the Bible
• 51:39
  said. OK, you were you were reading
• 51:41
  what you want to hear into that? Kendall, stop it.
• 51:44
  Because totally that's we all do that.
• 51:47
  We don't do that. Ego does that.
• 51:49
  Religion, unfortunately religion has done that.
• 51:52
  It's people take a verse and make it say what they wanted to
• 51:56
  say. They don't take the verse in the
• 51:58
  whole chapter in the context of who and why and the what it was
• 52:04
  written in and the time it was written in.
• 52:06
  And we don't have all those other pieces.
• 52:08
  I can take a sentence and make it mean a lot of things,
• 52:11
  unfortunately, and I think a lot of religion has gone down that
• 52:16
  this is what I want it to say. And very rule based judgy.
• 52:20
  Yeah, instead of this is what it really is and what it really
• 52:25
  means. And and I have to take ownership
• 52:27
  of myself to be like, the more I learn that I have to learn and
• 52:32
  do my own research of what does this really mean.
• 52:35
  OK, I hear this. Thank you for that input.
• 52:38
  Now let's read it and kind of figure out what it means for
• 52:43
  real. Yeah, and maybe that person was
• 52:45
  spot on, but I need it is my job to.
• 52:49
  Discern. Discern myself right and have
• 52:53
  the the knowledge or the where other.
• 52:55
  Where can I pull from other people who are knowledgeable or
• 52:58
  have some historical background like?
• 53:02
  One thing I remember Amethyst taught us too is that like, not
• 53:06
  until recently did I really think about yeah, like why is
• 53:09
  the Bible so formal and like this and rural and cattle.
• 53:12
  I mean, not I, I knew, but she was like, really think about the
• 53:17
  time period and like the fact that when you, you miss
• 53:20
  something or it's like, oh, Jesus appeared to, was it Mary
• 53:26
  Magdalene? So, and even if I messed it up,
• 53:30
  it's OK. It's OK.
• 53:31
  Even if I said like he appeared to Joseph, you'd be like, no,
• 53:35
  but God loves that you tried to remember an.
• 53:37
  Angel appeared to Joseph. True.
• 53:39
  But like, you know, when you make mistakes, it's cute.
• 53:41
  God's like, oh, you're so cute when you, when you tried, you
• 53:43
  tried. You tried.
• 53:45
  I'll take it. I'm a Catholic, raised born
• 53:49
  again baby Christian who's now a walking toddler.
• 53:52
  I just transitioned to real shoes.
• 53:55
  That's where I'm at. So it's a good place, you know,
• 53:58
  and, and she helps when I fall down.
• 54:01
  She's like my older babysitter, even though I'm older than her.
• 54:05
  I'm a, you're older than me and the baby Christian and
• 54:08
  Christian, you know, all right, see, this is my brain.
• 54:12
  She was saying like it was so significant that he appeared to
• 54:16
  a woman because in that context, women in society were bottom of
• 54:21
  the barrel, right? They were just kind of owned and
• 54:24
  they. Weren't allowed to go to
• 54:27
  synagogue. They couldn't listen to
• 54:29
  teaching. You just couldn't learn.
• 54:31
  You were just there to like birth and.
• 54:33
  Yeah, you had a purpose. And so then, yeah, the fact that
• 54:37
  Jesus spoke and ministered and taught to women is huge.
• 54:42
  And and I didn't grow up knowing not.
• 54:46
  I don't know why I didn't learn this.
• 54:47
  I'm not. I've already did an episode on
• 54:49
  some issues I had with all religions, but just Catholicism.
• 54:52
  It didn't emphasize to me in my particular.
• 54:56
  I didn't know that Like when you watch the Chosen or you learn
• 55:01
  about the Bible. He had some women that were his
• 55:05
  close buddies too, and they were like his, like his besties.
• 55:11
  He were his disciples, right? To really dumb it down for
• 55:13
  people like me, but some really core women who actually financed
• 55:18
  his ministry, I'm like, wait, what?
• 55:21
  Where do we miss that? Yeah.
• 55:24
  It's in there somewhere. Yeah.
• 55:25
  I can't tell you. But like that, women, he was
• 55:28
  trying to show that women were awesome.
• 55:30
  Yeah. More than just birthing.
• 55:32
  Yeah. They weren't giving birth when
• 55:35
  they were walking with him teaching, Right, They were.
• 55:41
  Yeah. Another question for you about
• 55:43
  your faith. Do you ever foresee in any of
• 55:47
  your books coming up writing about faith and kids?
• 55:54
  I mean, I'm going to go write these ideas down there.
• 55:56
  I love it. I'm I'm taking on the ideas.
• 55:58
  I have got a running in my I have a running list of like
• 56:04
  ideas. I was journaling yesterday, this
• 56:07
  morning. I don't know.
• 56:08
  I have no sense of time. I'm a mother.
• 56:10
  When you're a mom, you live in from activity to activity. 100%,
• 56:14
  yeah. But I was journaling, which I
• 56:16
  tried to do. It's kind of my quiet time
• 56:18
  before anyone wakes up. In the morning, that's your
• 56:20
  secret. Early kind of my.
• 56:22
  No one else is awake. You have to, but like I usually
• 56:25
  try not to stop what I'm doing at those when I run out of time
• 56:27
  I get distracted. But a thought came to me and I
• 56:30
  just don't even remember what it is right now.
• 56:31
  But I jotted it down on my thing, my little notes, and it's
• 56:35
  like, OK, this is an idea and when it will come to be.
• 56:38
  It plant seed. Never thought I'd be an author,
• 56:42
  but it is opened a avenue of opportunity.
• 56:48
  I didn't know there and and I'm working on a second one.
• 56:52
  I want to write and I have a very rough OK, there's an editor
• 56:59
  out there. I told you English is not my
• 57:01
  thing. Good editor.
• 57:03
  Let's stop Found an editor. I'm an editor put together some
• 57:17
  a devotional to go with my different book.
• 57:19
  Which she has given me some beautiful devotionals.
• 57:22
  I have them all over there. I I have found some verses and
• 57:26
  kind of scribbled some thoughts and I want trying to organize it
• 57:30
  into like a short devotional and hopefully targeted towards kids
• 57:38
  to go. Different to the devotional.
• 57:40
  My my different book and then I'm working my son with.
• 57:44
  Kids Devotional. Perfect, so those that my one
• 57:50
  that my son has requested and the maybe a devotional for that
• 57:54
  are in the works. But then I'm I'm jotting down
• 57:56
  ideas for other ones. Well, good thing that she and I
• 57:59
  are going to a BBQ tonight together so we get to debrief on
• 58:05
  all the ideas because all of a sudden they're flowing.
• 58:09
  And this is actually like when I post stories for this because by
• 58:13
  the time they hear this, they will have been seeing stories
• 58:16
  about it and reels. And I'm going to tease my
• 58:19
  awesome friend here. Shoot, where was I?
• 58:24
  I lost a train of thought when I was being dumb.
• 58:28
  What was it? I was trying to be cute and I
• 58:29
  lost my idea, different ideas. Oh, when I tag it in my little
• 58:34
  highlight thing. This will go in well when I yes,
• 58:37
  for the specific kids corner and I eventually would like to have
• 58:44
  kids come on, you know, maybe even older kids if if they're
• 58:46
  whatever, talk about bullying. Maybe we even have like a panel
• 58:50
  with kids. Maybe bring on child, you know,
• 58:53
  just people who work with kids, kids therapist, because I think
• 58:58
  what you're talking about in the book, we have books, then talk
• 59:01
  about these books, then talk about what are kids actually
• 59:04
  experiencing, especially with new media.
• 59:08
  All of that, right, Like I hope social media can shine light on
• 59:14
  the differences and celebrate like, oh, how cool.
• 59:17
  Like you see the world through different eyes when you look at
• 59:20
  people's accounts, right, The different Oh, look how you see
• 59:23
  the spaghetti. Oh, look, this is most beautiful
• 59:26
  picture of spaghetti I've ever seen.
• 59:27
  Like it's artistic. It's just all the different
• 59:30
  lenses. So that was just me rambling
• 59:32
  saying I'm getting all these ideas for kids corner through
• 59:37
  what you're saying. In the series of things there
• 59:42
  could be so many dot dot dots before that different dot dot
• 59:45
  dot like I'm thinking animated series all.
• 59:49
  Right. I mean, come on, let's go.
• 59:52
  Let's go now. Tomorrow at some point.
• 59:54
  It's going to come out tomorrow, OK?
• 59:56
  No, I see some things happening here.
• 1:00:02
  Kendall Breed. Wow.
• 1:00:04
  Just right at an hour. Look at this beautiful plant.
• 1:00:09
  We talked about before this touching on obviously the book
• 1:00:13
  being a mom, raising kids faith. Any other thoughts on adversity
• 1:00:20
  that you would like to like one day when your kids listen to
• 1:00:24
  this and maybe even 50 years from now when your kids listen
• 1:00:28
  to this, when somebody when we're all around what it?
• 1:00:32
  What advice do you have for anyone listening because you
• 1:00:36
  have really good life advice. You're a very calm, a wise
• 1:00:39
  person. No, she is to me.
• 1:00:42
  She's my my. She's my like, calm.
• 1:00:46
  I I think as much as adversity can suck in a moment, I think
• 1:00:53
  it's prepping you for something in life.
• 1:00:56
  I and it. You might not ever, ever see
• 1:01:01
  that come to fruition, the why of something.
• 1:01:07
  But you might have a ripple effect, or you might have
• 1:01:11
  planted a seed in someone, in a conversation you had that you
• 1:01:14
  will never see again. You will.
• 1:01:17
  You'll never know. You'll never know and a struggle
• 1:01:20
  you had you are venting is cathartic that my my notes is my
• 1:01:26
  cathartic venting If I don't have someone I can call it 5:00
• 1:01:29
  in the morning. I, I, you get it out.
• 1:01:30
  I get it out and venting to a friend at a coffee shop.
• 1:01:36
  Yep, you are 50 years from now, you have overcome and you're
• 1:01:43
  telling someone a story. You might have planted a seed
• 1:01:46
  and you might not know that that seed you planted or that comment
• 1:01:49
  you made or that piece of encouragement you gave to
• 1:01:52
  someone affected them into their story.
• 1:01:55
  So not to downplay adversity or it's like I pray that the
• 1:02:02
  struggles my daughter is having with her dyslexia or the
• 1:02:05
  struggles that she has had in people telling her what she
• 1:02:08
  should look like will build her confidence.
• 1:02:11
  And that way, whether it is someone else she knows or her
• 1:02:14
  own children at some point to be able to tell them a story or
• 1:02:19
  give them encouragement. So it, whatever you're going
• 1:02:23
  through can be really hard and not to downplay that, but it I
• 1:02:27
  think there is, there's a reason there's there's a reason we're
• 1:02:31
  all different there. We were created differently.
• 1:02:34
  We were created to have whatever struggles reach you in life or
• 1:02:38
  whatever struggles reach me in life.
• 1:02:39
  And it's how we react and how we overcome things that I think
• 1:02:45
  mature us and prepares for the next thing.
• 1:02:49
  And I think as much as it might not be fun at the moment, I
• 1:02:53
  think we we can. We're all stronger for it.
• 1:02:57
  It's not in. Vain.
• 1:02:58
  No, there's a reason and and unfortunately we might not ever
• 1:03:02
  know or see the reason, but I think there is a visa.
• 1:03:05
  Maybe we see it when we're up with this guy.
• 1:03:08
  Yes, be like. So what was that about?
• 1:03:11
  Why our? Favorite like children's?
• 1:03:14
  Was that necessary? Why?
• 1:03:15
  He's like, yes, I'm like, well, it sucked.
• 1:03:18
  Thank you. Yeah, that sucked.
• 1:03:20
  He's not. He's like, I don't really care.
• 1:03:22
  You're you're here. Now.
• 1:03:23
  But now you're now. Do you see now?
• 1:03:26
  He's like, did you get here now or not?
• 1:03:28
  It worked. Out, but I almost didn't.
• 1:03:31
  It all worked. I almost did.
• 1:03:34
  But you did see. God has a sense of humor.
• 1:03:38
  I will tell you that that is a beautiful way I think to end as
• 1:03:42
  I hear the pitter patter of our amazing children upstairs.
• 1:03:46
  I'm like reminded how lucky we are to be able to just like as
• 1:03:51
  women talk and share experiences as mothers.
• 1:03:55
  And again, can you please grab the book so I can flash on the
• 1:03:57
  screen again in my fancy studio it?
• 1:04:00
  Was sitting there was the place for it.
• 1:04:02
  That was the place. Yeah, it was.
• 1:04:03
  It wasn't on the ground, right? No, no, no different.
• 1:04:07
  Please please check it out in the show notes Kendall.
• 1:04:09
  I'm like super you know what a friend says I'm proud of you.
• 1:04:12
  It's not that I'm like your mom. I'm not I'm not your mom.
• 1:04:16
  Your mom is awesome say oh see, God wanted to emphasize that
• 1:04:22
  super proud of you for doing this.
• 1:04:25
  This is going to live on for your grandkids are going to read
• 1:04:28
  it. I just got chills down my body.
• 1:04:30
  That means God is is down with that.
• 1:04:33
  And I just wanted to thank you as well.
• 1:04:36
  For those of you who don't know Kendall, she when I was nervous
• 1:04:40
  about going back to church just because I thought I was going to
• 1:04:43
  like burst into flames when I walked in because I felt like I
• 1:04:46
  was going through some stuff and I felt a lot of shame and I just
• 1:04:49
  was like, oh man, these women are not going to like me.
• 1:04:51
  I'm a lot, you know, I am a lot. But turns out they did like me
• 1:04:58
  because they actually you, you actually follow what Jesus
• 1:05:02
  teaches like you are. You have standards, but I never
• 1:05:06
  feel like judged by you, even when like, you know, I've had
• 1:05:10
  some weird stuff happen. And this you, you Jade, Rhonda
• 1:05:16
  Amethyst, all the girls in the Bible study, Christianity is
• 1:05:21
  actually what people like you are.
• 1:05:23
  And I just want you to know that because you, you brought, you
• 1:05:27
  helped bring me back in into God.
• 1:05:29
  So thank you for that. That was really kind.
• 1:05:33
  Of and I'm getting chill and she is The Walking talking example.
• 1:05:38
  If you've ever had a bad experience with it, just come
• 1:05:40
  talk to Kendall, read her book and you're like, oh, that's what
• 1:05:43
  Jesus. He's like nice, like cool like
• 1:05:45
  that, but you'll keep it real. You don't bullshit.
• 1:05:48
  She's not going to go like you have a way of delivering it
• 1:05:51
  where I'm like like, it's just, you know, anyway, so I'm gonna
• 1:06:00
  that's how I close an episode is just telling you how awesome you
• 1:06:03
  are different on shelves now. It'll be on your shelf as soon
• 1:06:08
  as you order it. Duh.
• 1:06:10
  End of the month. End of month yeah order it when
• 1:06:13
  you see this and then you will it'll be on your way episode 76.
• 1:06:18
  I think God is going to do some amazing things with this one,
• 1:06:21
  and I know that something that you said triggered someone
• 1:06:26
  around the world to face adversity and know that they can
• 1:06:31
  get through it. So thank you for that.
• 1:06:34
  And with that, we're out because I don't know how to close things
• 1:06:37
  properly. I just talk and this is what we
• 1:06:39
  do. It's really cool when and fade
• 1:06:42
  out.