Latest / The On Purpose Podcast / Ep. 359 - Brett Penager: Live Larger Than Your Circumstances

Transcript

Ep. 359 - Brett Penager: Live Larger Than Your Circumstances · The On Purpose Podcast

• speaker-0: You are listening to the On Purpose Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Jared Hardy here. If the On Purpose Podcast has sparked something in you, maybe a shift, a question, or a deeper dive, my excellence and leadership course is built to help you act upon it. This isn't just about leading others. It's about leading yourself with intention, resilience, and clarity. Whether you're an individual chasing growth or a team ready to level up. I offer custom coaching and speaking engagements to meet you where you are. Visit teamhardy.net and let's grow with purpose. What's up, everybody? Welcome to this week's edition of the On Purpose Podcast, where you know, one, it's our honor to be here with you. It's a privilege to take time from your day to get you thinking, get you moving, get you maybe looking in the mirror and go, wait, am I being my best me today? And that's one of the things I'm excited about for this week's guest, Brett. The mind behind Be Larger Than, a platform built around helping people step into bigger, more intentional versions of themselves. And what I love about the research I've done and looking into his background is that he's big on a message about living a life that's larger than your circumstances. And I think so many times it's easy for us to fall into and go, maybe it's just not meant to be. Maybe. Maybe this is where I'm supposed to go and and not challenge ourselves. So I'm excited to get this conversation started with Brett. Brett, my newest friend, welcome to the show. speaker-1: Well, thank you, Jared. I couldn't be more excited to be here today and can't wait to have a conversation to see what we can learn from each other. speaker-0: ⁓ amen. But now here's what I'm gonna tell you, Brett. I know I know you're a you're a wrestler. I looked you up, man. I know you got some moves and you got but you know we just don't jump into that championship round. We gotta have a little warm-up. I gotta get you moving your feet a little bit, get you kind of jogging a circle so you're ready for your warm up. speaker-1: I'm ready, I'm ready, let's go, baby. speaker-0: All right, let's do it. All right, Brett, if your life had a theme song, what's your entrance song? speaker-1: that's a powerful question and I I don't know the name of the song, but I know how it goes. Ain't nothing gonna break my stride. Ain't nothing gonna slow me down. Uh-oh. I got to keep on move. speaker-0: Culture club. Yeah. Dude, I gotta tell you, Brett, ⁓ hats off to you. You're the first one to sing your song on the show. speaker-1: There you go. Well, I forgot the name of the song, but I I have it in my head 'cause ⁓ I've used that more than ⁓ more times than I could shake a stick at or really count throughout my lifetime, ⁓ especially when when met with adversity and ⁓ needing to just get back up from what felt like a catastroph ⁓ catastrophic ⁓ defeat and or disappointment. speaker-0: I love it. All right. Favorite book or a book you find yourself going back to? speaker-1: Ooh. ⁓ the yeah, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is right at the top of the list for that. ⁓ and they've had ⁓ Dr. Stephen Covey has had ⁓ additional, you know, renditions of it, but that one is at the top of the list for me ⁓ because of how it just lays out ⁓ the seven habits of highly effective. And he doesn't say successful, effective. Which is ⁓ many people associate success with something that we had talked about ⁓ prior to really getting jumping on here today. ⁓ success is what people see called a celebrity or a sports star or a political figure or somebody who has public acclaim and success couldn't be further from that, especially when we understand that a lot of times that comes with ⁓ some downsides that people do not see until they find out. So speaker-0: Yeah, that's a good point right there is that success comes with responsibilities, right? Yeah, I love all right, so the next question kind of ties into that. What's a small habit that you've been doing that gives you energy lately? speaker-1: Whew ⁓ Boy, that's a small habit that I've been doing that gives me energy. Well, I'll tell you exactly what it is. ⁓ and it it's it's not really a small habit, but for some it might be. ⁓ every time I go to bed, I visualize my future. I see I look at the day, but what I really do is I start looking at what it is that I want to do. you know, dreams that I have that have yet to be fulfilled, and have a lot of gratitude for the beauty of looking at the both the challenges. and the joys and the ⁓ victories of each day. So just keeping that thought path forward. speaker-0: Yeah, that's what what about what do you find that works about doing it right before bed versus like first thing in the morning that that w is working for you? speaker-1: Well, ⁓ Hm. Where focus goes, energy flows. And I want to ⁓ acknowledge the power and the beauty of what has occurred during that day and give all of it gratitude. And that includes when crap hits the fan and you're like, ⁓ my gosh, are you serious? This is what I have to deal with. And it includes the joy that comes with that. ⁓ when I put my attention on being grateful and what I'd like for my future to look like. Both the blessings that have occurred up to that point in time and what I want to create in the future, that focus pulls energy to me on a day-to-day basis to not only keep moving but move with intention, act with intention, love with intention, that then produces the results that look like sometimes How does that happen? Well, it all starts with the six inches between our ears. speaker-0: Yeah. No, I think ⁓ I love what you said there, mentioning even like the the moments where you're like, ⁓ my gosh, why is this happening? Because when we when we do what you're talking about, we reframe that why is this happening? Well it's happening to teach you something or to learn something. speaker-1: Amen. Amen. speaker-0: Or to test your will to see how bad you want it. speaker-1: ⁓ yes. So can I can I share a real powerful story that just occurred this past week? So my family, ⁓ and I I don't need to go through all of the people that are part of it, but my brother and sister in law, their two ⁓ children, ⁓ my nieces, my wife and I, ⁓ and ⁓ nephew and his ⁓ better hat, we all went to Portugal. speaker-0: Yeah, please. speaker-1: And I've been to Portugal multiple times and just love, love, love everything about it, ⁓ my family and everything. This particular trip, it was like a love affair. It was like, ⁓ my gosh, this is even better than the time before, and all of this kind of stuff. And I'm over here knowing the laws of the universe that for every high there's a low. And if you get infatuated with the highs, it's only a matter of time until our Heavenly Father, God, Yahweh. ⁓ ala, however you assign it, the universe will start to right size that. And so I'm going, man, y'all are a little too excited about what's going on, but I'm happy that you're happy. Fast forward a few days into the trip, ⁓ we went to Lisbon and all of a sudden we stopped down at Kaishkai and ⁓ to beach town. We were there for an hour. We came back and our car had been broken into. We had ⁓ many of our bags and valuables stolen and it was like wah wah wah ⁓ my gosh, this beautiful time, and all of a sudden this happens. Well, I tell you what, there were blessings within that. We went through the challenge, the the country was on strike on the day that we were supposed to leave, which forced us to stay another three days, which forced us to look at how we were gonna get our passports back. Which forced us to not only be grateful that we even had what was still left, they didn't get all of our luggage, but we were able to find most of everything that had been lost based on being able to track our iPads and ⁓ iPads and AirPods. And so I tell ya, it's the essence of everything that we're talking about. With the highs come the lows, and the ability to recognize it and be grateful for all of it. From that challenge, a lot of blessings. And from those blessings come challenges. And it was ⁓ probably the most memorable and beautiful trip I've been on in a long time. speaker-0: Yeah, and that that's such so well said and I I bet in ten, fifteen years the memory of that trip will be how you responded to the adversity. speaker-1: Absolutely. Right. And I don't know that it would be as memorable if we didn't have the inversity as part of it. Like, ⁓ my gosh, remember when we had our band broken into and we lost our passports? And it just one of those things that make ⁓ the memory so much more fulfilling and powerful. speaker-0: Yeah, and I think that's such a such a big message, right? Like everybody feels good when things are going great, but it's how we respond when things take a turn that we didn't expect. That really create those crazy memories, right? Like I I I tell that I share that with my kids all the time. Like, tell me a time you woke up and you're like, ⁓ that went perfect. It was so easy, I wanna do it again. Like you don't usually do that because you didn't learn anything in the process. speaker-1: Exactly. You know, ⁓ in the book that I just recently completed ⁓ in the fall of last year, Larger Than Life in Pursuit of Discovering Your Full Potential, one of the things that ⁓ I share in that is being grateful for the journey. And part of being grateful for the journey is everything that I'm talking about is that with the highs will come the lows, and with the lows will come the highs. It is the ⁓ it's how the universe and the physical and spiritual world in which we live operates. It's always looking for balance. When you understand that, you also understand a perspective that most people put themselves in between success and failure. And if they're moving towards success, they're moving away from failure. However, if they're moving towards failure, ⁓ I I didn't pass that test. ⁓ I I you know, broke up with I thought would be the love of my life or whatever, then they're moving away from success. And with that perspective, if you want to be successful, the one thing that you want to avoid at all cost is failure because it's taking you further away from the very thing that you want. The reality is, is it doesn't work that way and it never has. It always starts with the seed. It starts with you, with the individual. And we have to go through this thing called failure before we then can experience the success that follows that. And if we don't understand that, as soon as we hit failure, we can have a mindset that just capitulates us. We're like, ⁓ my God, why did this happen to me? Well, it's on the way. It's not in the way. And that little shift can make a powerful difference in not making it easier or you're happy when you have a challenge, but go Okay, what is this teaching me? Because I know that what I'm up to is going to be possible. speaker-0: Mm, I love it. I love it. Brett, what's a mantra or a quote that's stuck with you throughout your life? speaker-1: ⁓ man, ⁓ a mantra quote. Greater is he who is within you than he who is in the world. That would be a big one. Yeah. ⁓ having a connection to a source higher to than yourself, and knowing that we are spiritual beings living a human existence. And from that standpoint, we are infinite. You know, we are energy. And knowing that through that energy, the oneness that we have is. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: human beings and the blessings that we have to be human beings living on this experience called planet earth. ⁓ It's just magical, magical to think about the ⁓ just the grace that's given that we're able to have that as part of ourselves and to be able to express that knowing that no matter what's occurring, what's happening, there's a connection that's higher than ourselves that can help mitigate it, that can support That can push us, that can pull us, that can do whatever is needed in order to have us experience what we're meant to do while here on Earth. speaker-0: Mm. I love it. I love yeah, our our responsibility is to show up, right? And to continue to show up each day. speaker-1: Amen. speaker-0: Rest of it will go where we're supposed to be. speaker-1: Well, with intention, you know. ⁓ man, there's so many directions to go on this. W ⁓ going back to where focus goes, energy flows. and the first question you asked me, you know, what gives me energy and it's thinking about what I'd like to occur and dreams and goals or whatever and having gratitude for what has occurred. When whatever you put your attention on is what you're going to find. And so if you put your attention on all that's going bad for you, or all that's not good for you, or woe is me, or why did that happen, you're gonna get that compounded. And sometimes, that's where the importance of intention becomes so important. Sometimes that becomes so devastating that you can't get out of it. And that's where a lot of anxiety shows up, or depression, or even suicidal thoughts, or just just giving up on life. One way to shift that is to either have support or have someone or do it yourself by who you surround yourself with or what you start filling your your mind and body with on what it is that you do want. Have somebody that uplifts you and go, What if it were possible? And that energy shift starts to then lift you. out of the doldrums and create a new possibility that you may not have considered because your focus was only going on what you didn't want the challenge, how bad it is, and what was me. That little shift can make a massive difference in helping the laws of the universe work in your favor because that's how it works. So yeah. speaker-0: I love it. All right, I got one last warm up question for you. If you had one word to describe the season of life you're in right now, what would that word be? speaker-1: Spirit. speaker-0: Good one. speaker-1: It would be spirit. Several years I wrote ⁓ not wrote, I read a book ⁓ called Manifest Your Destiny by Dr. Wayne Dwyer. And in it he talked about four stages of life. ⁓ the athlete being the first one, and not everybody goes past that, but the athlete when it's all about yourself and your your physical appearance and everything else, and then the next stage, if you get past that, is when you go into the warrior mode. And typically that's around you know, puberty and adolescence where it's like I have to, you know, stake my claim in the world and keep this moving, get my job, you know, establish my family, all of those things. And some people never get past that and they spend their entire life there. The next stage being the statesman or the states person, where you've conquered what you needed to, you've done most everything that you set out to do, and now it's about paying it forward and giving it back. Some people stay there. The next level And it's the same thing in Maslov's hierarchy of needs called self-actualization, is where at the spirit level you start to get that we really are all one. And that anything that we resist in somebody else just means that that's something that's sitting here with us. And so you start to get a oneness and a beauty in looking at people and understanding people, starting with yourself. It's not about somebody else, it's always here. And when you get that in that spirit, you start to understand not just the grace and the beauty and the power, but you really start to get the power and paying it forward. You get the you start removing the judgment that oftentimes shows up on people should be different than who they are and the world would be better if they were only more like me. So that's the word that really stands out for me. speaker-0: Spirit. I love it. I love it. You feeling warmed up, Brett? I feel like ⁓ hey, I I in doing research, I found something that that I wanted to kind of start with, and that was a story I heard you share. ⁓ I think it was high school, you were undefeated going into the state tournament and then you suffered two quick losses, you know, fairly early in the tournament. And you had mentioned that your mom the next day like you woke up and you thought the world was kind of over. Like, ⁓ my gosh, I'm supposed to I'm undefeated. Now I'm out of the tournament. And she talked to you about something you mentioned earlier and that was to trust your process. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Would you mind sharing that story with us? speaker-1: ⁓ man. ⁓ you know, there's some things that hit so hard that when they're brought back up, I feel goosebumps as if I'm there all over again and that was well over forty years ago. Right? ⁓ so yes, I I I was on a an undefeated streak like there there was no tomorrow, and it was my first major one and it was just so fulfilling and I got the accolades and I was in the news and I was winning and I was reaching my goals and then ⁓ right before the state tournament I didn't make it to the state tournament I lost. I was the number four ranked ⁓ wrestler in the state and I mean everything was going my way. Devastated that next day ⁓ I see in the newspaper Penniger loses state bid. So it's not about who won, it's who loses. You know I'm like And I'm just crying in my mother's bosom literally and she's like, hey listen I don't know why you lost, but greater who ⁓ is he who is within you than he that is in the world. And you are not finished. You know, ⁓ losing is not final. And she goes, ultimately, be grateful for the journey. And I'm like, How am I supposed to be grateful for the journey when I just lost? I failed you, I failed my school, I failed my family, I fell I failed everybody. And she's like, Bready? She would Call me that. She's like, be grateful for the journey because this will lead to something that you cannot see now, but I can and God can. And I'm like, but I did that. I did that. It was a it was a long process. This wasn't an overnight. The next day I'm like, okay, it's all good. It was a ⁓ multi-month process, but I look back at that and it was a tipping point that put in motion the ability to not only withstand. Hardship, but everything that I'm sharing with you, that victory is on the way or challenges on the way and not in the way. And the blessings that have occurred from that loss that put a domino effect of things that have now shown up in my life for better and for worse. ⁓ that is the just the foundational lesson that really created ⁓ all of that for me. speaker-0: Talk me through if you don't mind. Let's stand this for a second. The process of moving past it. And not expecting it, like you said, it's not gonna be done tomorrow. Like it's gonna be a process. Just like getting good enough to be undefeated was a process of continuous practice and performing. The process of bouncing back is also multi steps. speaker-1: It is. ⁓ in my case, I had the the gift of parents who could really support me in that. I had the gift of a coach and a mentor, ⁓ who is also a fellow teammate of mine who could support me in that. and the way they supported me is everything that we've discussed thus far, is they reset the goal. It's like, hey, listen, okay, this goal is done. You didn't hit it, that didn't happen, but you're not done. I had another year to go. So now let's start planning there. And what are we going to need to do so that we don't run into the same problem before? And what didn't you do in the past? Now you have visibility. You know, they say hindsight is 2020. Well, when you can look back at that challenge, you're like, what occurred to create that? So what could I do differently to not create that in the future? The shifting of the perspective and how you look at it is what then gives you the power to transform challenge into victory and to not make victory the only goal. Because even in victory, there's so much more to learn. And so what I really got from that and a process that I've learned from in some incredible human beings, and I can see it play itself out as a wrestler Penn State. Right now is the they are the jogger nut and what Kale Sanderson, who I personally know, is doing there is breathtaking. One of the things that makes him so powerful and different is he teaches his team and his individuals not to focus on the winning. The winning will take care of itself if you do enough of the right things, and oftentimes the best thing that can happen is losing because it will teach you what winning can't. And a great mentor of mine who would always say, I ain't never learned nothing in good times. Right? And that's so true. Yeah. So the process is recognizing that ⁓ failure is not final and fatal. And if you keep your eye on the prize, or if you're in adultrums and things are really challenging, just entertain the possibility of it. It can start shifting where your energy goes. speaker-0: Ha ha ha. speaker-1: It can start shifting where that intention flows and it can start bringing you not only out of it, but recognizing the gift that it provided you. And that's where you get excited about taking on life, baby, like Rocky. Bring it on. speaker-0: Yeah, no that that's well said and and I I saw something else that that had come up kind of as a theme in in some of the research I'd done and that's talking about the tendency people have to shrink themselves or shrink their identity when they're faced with something like you face there, right? Like it'd been easy to just shut your curtains, hide in your room, be like, Okay, maybe wrestling's not for me. I'm I'm moving this other way and s where do you So I guess my question for you is where do you see that people shrink their I identity without even realizing they're doing it? speaker-1: Well, an incredibly I just love this, Jared. ⁓ powerful, powerful questions, right? ⁓ Dr. Stephen Covey talks about this in the Seven Habits of Highly Affective People really powerfully. And what that is is most of us base our identity on what other people say about us. And that's as we're moving from dependence, we're dependent, you know, as human beings, we're the most dependent animal species on planet earth. When we're born, we cannot survive without people taking care of us. And that's not true for a bird who can fly just about right away, or for an animal who can start walking and everything else. So when we move from dependence to independence to Interdependence. That journey along the way, when we're dependent, our self-image is only based on what other people are saying. So if somebody says, ⁓ my gosh, you're attractive, like I am, and now I start believing that I'm attractive. Or, you know, you're just not that smart. I guess I'm not that smart. Well, when we start going from dependence on other people's views and what they believe on us, which then frames our thought process. We then move into independence, and that typically happens around puberty and so forth, and now it's all about fighting back and no, I I can do it, and you start that energy that comes with that. Ultimately, we want to get to an interdependence, realizing that we are not the Alpha and the Omega, that the world does not only revolve around us, which we get big time in puberty, and that we are part of it, and there is no I and team. However, team is necessary for any great accomplishment. And I'm not talking about an athletic team. I'm not talking about a a professional team. I'm talking about understanding that as a as an athlete, let's use that as an example. If your parents don't get you to school, you then don't have the opportunity to compete. If your teachers don't teach you, you don't have an opportunity to compete. If your coach doesn't help you, if your teammates aren't there to train with you. If you don't have transportation to all of a sudden you get there's a whole village that makes your individual competition possible. So have gratitude for the interdependence that we have as people and take the focus off of just me, me, me, me, me, that can then translate itself into we. speaker-0: Yeah, and I I love that you you call it teammates and I agree with that. And a lot of times in here I'll talk about our community, right? And our circle of five. And think about just how different things would have been for you if your parents would have said it's okay, just you don't have to deal with it. Like we'll just pretend it didn't happen or your coaches would have said, Don't worry about right. Like but you had people that were like, No, no, no, Brett, this is part of the deal. You signed up for this. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. Well, when you get around successful people, you know, the classic birds of a feather fly together, right? When you get around successful people, they've been where you're going. And so they can provide that wisdom that you don't understand at the time, like in it like a great parent. You know, they're like, I've seen this before, and you know, I don't know about you, Jared, but me as a child, ⁓ I'm just gonna be straight. I thought I got away with a lot more. Then I actually did. That my parents knew that they knew that I didn't know that they knew. speaker-0: I can't admit to that. My mom listens to the show every speaker-1: ⁓ she she knows. She knows. You know, so anyway, ⁓ having somebody who can see something ⁓ that you have yet to experience and guide you along the way and kind of help you ⁓ can make all the difference in the world on really being able to ⁓ to understand the process of what it looks like. speaker-0: And getting your ego out of the way to actually listen. speaker-1: Ooh. speaker-0: Right, when I I'm not gonna lie, Brett, when I watch the world today and I see grown adults that can't that that are elected to office and can't collaborate, can't cooperate, can't communicate, I just look, I'm like, They're our egos are so big in certain circumstances that we refuse to admit Brett can teach me something right now. speaker-1: Well what comes around goes around. speaker-0: I hope so. speaker-1: It always th it always comes back. It always comes back. So when you get into a state of ⁓ being ⁓ what word can I use? Being the the the biggest king in the room. There will be just a matter of time before I've heard it by a Zig Ziggler. He said, Be careful on who you're walking, stepping on to get where you want to go, because when you fall they're gonna do the same thing back to you. So at the same time, it always comes back. You know, if you have an ego that has you be the center of the universe, it's only a matter of time before that will be right sided, which is the way the universe works. So ⁓ don't get too caught up in in measuring it with that immediacy. 'Cause at the end of the day, it's a long term game, even if we're just talking about an individual lifespan of sixty to seventy years. speaker-0: Yeah, that's a balanced perspective, right? Because it it's it is long term, but it's also so short that you don't really want to push off till tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, because then you eventually run out, right? And that's I think one of the things that I work on and I'm I'm constantly aware of is trying to balance, okay. There's an immediacy, but there's also planning and and realizing, okay, maybe I didn't get it today. But I worked hard and I learned something about it today. And maybe that lesson I applied tomorrow gets me a little closer. speaker-1: Yeah. It's perspective, right? you know, it's funny, ⁓ every you we're this conversation that we're having is all interconnected from the very beginning all the way to here. It's a process and it starts with there is no direct line to if we want to call a dream, goal or desire as our endpoint or target. It's not a straight line. If you look at history or you look at any ⁓ journey of success, it's funny. I just ⁓ recently got turned on to Arsenio Hall's autobiography that recently came out. And those who have know anything about Arsenio Hall, you know, they know his his ⁓ late-night TV show and everything else. What they don't know is the journey that it took in order to get there. And so when you look at anybody who has any level of significant acclaim measurably. All you have to do is research the story of where they came from and you're gonna see it wasn't a straight line. And oftentimes it looks like ⁓ I don't know if you've ever seen a graph and let's take if we're measuring it in an hour, it can look like this be very high and low and high and low. But when you start spreading that same thing out over years or decades, what you see is a line that starts at the bottom and then it just keeps climbing. But in that it looks like, ⁓ my God, I'm on top of the world over here. And then ⁓ this is the worst thing that ever happened. And then you climb back up and it just keeps moving, right? And from that standpoint, that's again where the highs are going to be high, the lows are going to be low, but you're growing through the whole thing when you keep your eye on the prize and you have clarity. on what it is that's important to you at any given point in time. speaker-0: So t that let me follow up on that, Brett. That's a great point. Cause I think that's sometimes where we struggle is when we don't have clarity on what we're trying to get out of this life, what we're trying to what it is that we're actually moving ourselves towards, right? Because it's easy to get comfortable. It's easy to get complacent. It's easy to just settle into a routine. And next thing you know, you went from 30 to 55 in a blink of an eye, and now you're left with, ⁓ man, what am I doing? So what would what would you say or thoughts or what's worked for you to maintain that clarity so that we know our days are leading in a place we're trying to get to? speaker-1: it's often been said, or at least I've heard it, that if you want to know where you're going, just look at the people that you're around. And if you're the smartest person in the room, or you're the most successful person in the room, or you're the whatever you want to call it, and you are the alpha and the omega, you need to get a new set of friends. And I don't mean dismiss your friends, but a new set of ⁓ of people in your life. When you do that, then it always allows you to learn from distinctions and people that you've never considered, which then allows you to ⁓ how would I put it? It resets the framework in which you're even looking at where you're at, what you've done, and what you're up to, and it shifts that into possibility. It's like wow. I remember a long time ago, one of the ⁓ One of the first goals that I had when I was young, it happened in 1977. I saw The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale. And the short of it is out of that, watching that little movie, I said, okay, I want to do three things. I want to own my own business one day. I want to ⁓ serve millions of people and I wanna make a ridiculous amount of money. I didn't know what that meant, I didn't know how I was gonna do it or whatever. Well, my first benchmark coming out of college was to make a hundred thousand dollars in a year. That six figure, it's like I've I've pseudo arrived. And ⁓ I didn't do that for 13 years before I broke through. However, my good friend who I ended up getting involved in chiropractic with, Dr. Ben Lerner, he did that shortly out of college and he was a multi-millionaire, one of the best chiropractors we have ever had. When I got around him, I hadn't been around people who were multimillionaires and who had built, you tremendous businesses. I'd been around a lot of athletes who, in their own right, had done some amazing things, but not compared to the goals that I wanted. When I got around him, what I learned was this. I'm like, I know him. I've grown up with him. We are brothers from other mothers. And when I saw what he actually did, because he then became part of my sphere of influence, I'm like. I can do that. It removes this otherwise ⁓ God complex that we put with people that have achieved as if, well, they're just better than me. They were born gifted and anointed. I can't, I could never do that. Like, look at little low, you know, low me. When I started working with him, I had just left a job that topped out at $30,000. And here I'm now working with a multimillionaire. But when I saw the trajectory, when I saw the work, I'm like, I can do that. And so when you start shifting your sphere of influence, you start recognizing that the people that you otherwise put on a pedestal are just people just like you. And you can start learning what they've done differently that you can emulate or learn that you can apply to yourself in any direction that you want to take it. So Get a new group of influences around you to start shifting what's possible without staying stuck in this is what I know. speaker-0: Yeah, that that's powerful and ⁓ very well said. And I think that's one of the gifts we can maybe share with the world is to get them to see what's possible despite circumstances. Right? And and when people see and I and that's that's the thing that scares me a little bit. with the social media and the influence of everybody just getting highlight reels is maybe we can't identify with what's possible around us because we're not seeing the struggles. We're not seeing that the commonality of man, we're we're very much alike. I just haven't done these small things that put me in a position to move where they're moving. speaker-1: ⁓ you know, Jared, one of the things that Yeah, became a big breakthrough for me to remove people from a pedestal. One being there ⁓ at a minor level, I understood that I wasn't really any better than anybody else. I mean, I did things that were different, but I really wasn't better. But you know, you you get a sense of ⁓ accomplishment and ego when that happens. One of the things that really how do you put it, that really helped is I started reading autobiographies of people that I had a lot of respect for. And everything that I'm talking about right now, what you see is a common theme. I don't care whether it's Martin Luther King, whether it's ⁓ for me some people that really stood out, Barack Obama, a Sammy Davis Jr., a Colin Powell, ⁓ you name it, I started reading an Oprah Winfrey, started reading their stories. And in every case, they always started from pretty much nothing before they then rose to a figure that we could then look at and emulate. And what that at least did for me that I want to share with all of our listeners is they have a journey that they went on that anybody, if they wanted that, many people could emulate. There's things that you can learn from what they did. to take them off of this pedestal and put them right next to you. Because if that's what you want to do, it just depends on what part of the journey you're on. But it doesn't, you don't start at the top. And that framework resets how you can look at yourself and give yourself love and credence for what you have done versus comparing yourself to somebody else, especially when you don't know their story, walk them out on somebody else's shoes. And in today's social media world, I don't have a percentage, I couldn't say that, but most of what we see is not even real life. It's the highlight reel as you're saying. So just ⁓ just do your own research. speaker-0: Yeah, I and and embrace our own life, right? Like if if I try to be you, Brett, one, I'm not and I'm never gonna be you. Right. And two, all the people around me that I could influence by being the best me are gonna lose out because they will never know me because I'm trying to be something else. speaker-1: It's crazy, isn't it? You know, ⁓ so in my book, I I did my best to share ⁓ the perspectives that we're talking about right now. And for me, ⁓ research and getting facts is very powerful versus just theory or or stories or whatever. ⁓ as best as we know, there's been between ⁓ 90 billion to 120 billion human beings on planet Earth. in its h in its history of ⁓ humankind, of man, the man, woman, you know, people. In that time period, there's never been a duplicate. Like we have dopalangers, we have people who look like us and everything else, but I don't care if you're twins. And I know a lot of really powerful twins in the wrestling community, the Brands Brothers, the Schultz brothers, the Bannock brothers, it's just a lot of them, they're still not the same person. And so the first thing is to acknowledge that our creator made you as an individual like no other human being in the history of our world that we know it ever. So you are a one-of-one miracle. And when you start to see all of the things that had to happen for you to even show up, and I don't care how that happens. It just can really highlight the power that you can start to pull towards yourself and remove what you've otherwise bought from what somebody else said and I'm not good enough and I'm not pretty enough and everything else and just go, Well, yeah, I I I like there is only one me. So why don't we start there? And then you can start looking in your life and see things that you've done that stand out that people have acknowledged you for. Wow, you know, great job on that test. Or you know what? I I wouldn't have been able to do this without you. The acknowledgement that your friends or your brothers or sisters or mothers give you. They're not giving it to you to make you feel good. They're giving it to you because that's what you provided for them that if you were not there would not have been possible for them. So you are amazing. You are one of one. You are one of a hundred and twenty. billion people and there's never been a duplicate. So let's start there. The impact that you have would not be able to put in motion everything that's occurred within your life from those that you're surrounded with and that you influence. So give yourself tip of the hat to everyone listening to this, start there and remove what other people have saying said about you if you don't feel great about yourself. And just know that if there's two of us, Jared and Brett, and hopefully your mom and dad and family think the same, ⁓ you are amazing. speaker-0: Mm. Yeah, no, I I love that. And then if you're you're listening today and you're like, man, today's a great day. I feel like the juice is going, I'm on top of the world. Go share with some people around you what they mean to you. 'Cause maybe they need to hear that today. speaker-1: my gosh. My mom would always used to say, Give people flowers while they're here rather than lie them on their grave. And it doesn't take a lot. It doesn't take a grand gesture or we have to do something fantabulous. All it takes is picking up a phone and saying, Hey, you know what? I may not have told you this in a long time, but I just want to tell you I love you. Or you know what? ⁓ I know that you may not know this, but I want to tell you the impact that you had. I had a when I was working at USA Wrestling and I was learning from the best coaches and athletes and nutritionists and everything in the world at that time. One thing that stood out to me that I got that was so powerful was learning from ⁓ Bobby Douglas, who just recently passed away. And he was talking about his coach in high school was a Hall of Fame coach who had developed Hall of Famers in both baseball, football, and wrestling. And one day, Bobby was struggling with one of his kids early in his coaching career and he goes back to his coach who was still a mentor of his and he goes, hey, you know what? ⁓ you know, I've really been working with this kid, but I don't know if I really helped. And his coach started laughing at him. And he goes, Bobby, let me tell you a story. Do you remember? And it was a teammate of theirs back in the 60s. And Bobby's like, ⁓ yeah, yeah, I remember him. He goes, well, guess what? About ⁓ a year ago, he came back to me and he goes, Hey coach, he ended up going into the military, fought in the Vietnam War, and made a terrif terrific career for himself after that. And he goes, Hey coach, I just wanted to acknowledge and let you know that if it wasn't for what you said, then I wouldn't have been able to make it through Vietnam. I wouldn't have been able to have the family and the career that I had. And he looks at Bob and he goes, You know what, Bobby? I don't know what I said. You never know how far reaching something you think, say or do today. Will impact the lives of millions tomorrow. And so there's a lot of people who have impacted your life, my life, and everyone who's listening that have no idea the impact that you've had for them. So pick up the phone and go, hey, you know what? I know you may not know this, but if it weren't for what you said or what you did. It made me make a different decision and that has led to finding the love of my life or the career of my life where I moved here and I didn't know this was possible. Like have that gratitude because it always comes back. It always comes back. speaker-0: Yeah, absolutely. But as we get close to wrapping up, what's something you hope people listening today realize about their own potential? speaker-1: That it's limitless. ⁓ however, it depends on where you're at. And what I mean by that is your belief in its limitlessness. ⁓ you might be at a point in time where you're like, you know what, that time has passed for me. And again, that's where going to autobiographies and looking at people who started later in their life, like a Colonel Sanders, for example, or a Ray Kroc, for example, people that we know of, again, they're not special. But they are examples of somebody who started later and now they just took the lid off of it and go, why not me? And so what I'd love for everyone to get is again, you're magnificently and wondrously made. And no matter where you're at at this point in time, you're here for a purpose. That no matter whether you think your life has been worthy, not worthy, good, bad, without you. Everything that you've touched, everyone that you've been involved with would not have occurred the way that it has. And so if you just pause for a moment and be still and you go back to a time of joy or happiness in your life or dreams that you had and reconnect with those. And don't keep them buried in a box, but take that box back out and open it up and go, you know, maybe my time's past, but what if I could? And then, well, if I could, would I? And if the would I is what I'd like to, then start finding people who have done it. You know, find somebody who has already done it, which is a tenant, a principle that I have in my book, because they're going to be able to go, ⁓ my gosh, I've been waiting for you to give me a call. Let me tell you what you could do. As a matter of fact, I have a running club or a cooking club or we're going on a travel deal or we need somebody just like you to support what we want. And all of a sudden it's like because as soon as you take that lid off. You'll start attracting the people, the circumstances, the p ⁓ the the materials, the opportunities that otherwise will not be available to you only because you won't see them based on you're only looking for what's not working, and I just I guess that's not for me anymore. Take off the lid and keep dreaming, baby. speaker-0: Right. I love it. Brett, where can our audience follow along on your journey? Where can they get the book? speaker-1: Yeah, well they can get the book on Amazon, Larger Than Life in Pursuit of Discovering Your Full Potential. ⁓ Amazon is is the Goliath, and I'm so thankful to be on there. ⁓ that's the that's the easy button. I also have a website, ⁓ belargerthan.com. ⁓ pretty easy to find. And there I'm really committed to supporting entrepreneurs to discover their full entrepreneurial ⁓ potential and to Pass that baton forward and have them build businesses through their gifts and their services and their products that can then serve all of us as humanity and that's worldwide. So ⁓ find me online, find me in Amazon and keep it moving. speaker-0: I love it. I got one final question for you, Brett. What does living larger look like for you in the ordinary parts of your day? speaker-1: ⁓ doing your best to be your best and recognizing when you're not, and just ⁓ yeah, correcting it as best as possible. Listen, no one gets everything right all the time. And we learn more from again, I ain't never learned nothing in good times. We were learn from our ⁓ quote unquote mistakes or learning lessons than we do from our victories. But if our intention is to be our best. And we all are doing our best. But we know, we know, our spirit knows when we're actually putting our best effort forward to do that. It doesn't mean that it's action or activity. It means that our best could be just being present with our family. Being our best could be just listening to somebody or reaching out or getting help or or talking, or our best could be not. being judgmental towards somebody. There's so many ways that shows up, but just do your best to be your best that you know is capable for you and the world will be a much better place. speaker-0: I love it. Brett, thank you so much for joining us this week. It's been a honor to share your story and we wish you the best, my friend. speaker-1: Well, thank you, Jared. Thank you so much for having me. And hopefully what we have shared today will make a magnificent difference in the lives of all of these incredible human beings listening. speaker-0: When you're training with purpose, your fueling can't be an afterthought. That's why I use Never Second, the simplest, most reliable system I have found for staying energized, hydrated, and steady through their long efforts. Their C-Series carbs take guesswork out of performance, no stomach drama, no complicated mixing, just clean, consistent fuel that actually works when the miles get long. If you want to train with more intention and recover without feeling wrecked, check out Never Second. Click the link in the show notes to get dialed in. And remember team, life is far too short to live any other way than on purpose. We will see you all again next week.