Latest / Not That Serious / Episode 485: Therapization w/ Kier Gaines

Transcript

Episode 485: Therapization w/ Kier Gaines · Not That Serious

• 0:23
  Speaker 1: You ain't never gonna play football with that loose.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Nick gotta get the neck. Moo sound, my brother, Yeah,
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: you're making all the little noises.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. It's like now you can determine which sound is,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: like this is the milk sound and this is the
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: diaper sound, because there are different sounds like or like
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: I seen the episode I'm Hot and It's Uncomfortable episode
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: what of Oprah? Oprah?
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she had a little white woman on and she
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: was telling like like maybe.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Make a difference, I mean, make different sounds, makes different
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: sounds for what they want. It's like this is me
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: that they're hungry, but.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: It no for real though, like it really like like
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: like that's just the I'm hungry. They're like like he was,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: he's a month old on Tuesday.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Is the ship regular color?
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: Yet?
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, mustardy?
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: It's still gets a little mustardy. But it's not that
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: it's not that new born very very it's not that
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: newborn black, that new born black ship that's born that
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: come out when they're like when they're fresh out, there's black.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, it's like if you melted the fucking tire.
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I remember that.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh yo, when I first saw it,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, is he all right? Like back.
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: Good?
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I think we broke him already.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: He gave me a limit, like yeah, like return return limit,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: you get trade in for a newer model. Y'all broken, Like, yeah,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: I think I did something wrong with gave.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Me furbished one man, refurbs, refurbished crazy.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Gave me a referved baby, Are you serious? I knew something.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I knew something came out so white. I knew it
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: was a referb.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the color kicks in like it takes a while,
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: and if it takes too long, you'd be like.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: All right now. When he first came out, he was
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: white white, and I was like, who, God damn white
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: baby is this? And then I was like, okay, now
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: his melanie is kicking, and I'm like, all right now, okay,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: you you.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: You want a dope journey, brother, You on a dope journey.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: It comes with his stuff, but you definitely you in
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: the honeymoon phase of it, which is I mean, you
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: know it has different honeymoon phases.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Want to I'll save something. Do y'all do that thing
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: when y'all record and y'all start. But I knew it
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: in the world.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: I don't think it's recorded.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, for three minutes, he did it. He knows hot
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: that series podcast the greatest podcast in the world. I
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: happened to be one of your gracious hosts. Large Michael,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: like the hand thing els in the building?
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: What aka doctor Waffle a k A. Butterscotch Blair Underwood.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: Oh Butter Scott's Blair.
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: Yes, that's I think that's my favorite.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Most peanut butter Blair Underwood Butter.
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: Peanut butter bandit. I mean it's interchangeable.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: All right. So what's what's the peanut butter count at now?
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: I'm on jar number four right now on the year right,
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: m hmm.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: Is it like the Big John's, like the oversized Costco joints,
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: or just like the regulars like.
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: The normal large jars.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Is it the natural one without the oil on the top, or.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: It's skippy Naturals but it doesn't have the oil on.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: The top bangs with the skippy brown. Yeah, yeah, we
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: kind of.
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: I use mm hmmm telling you.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: That peanut butterself, peanut butter, fatherhood and Skippies.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: George Washington Carver will be proud.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Happy the Black History month man, Man, we are joined
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: here today. Listen. Like I said, I only come to
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: this cesspool, cesspool that is named New York City for
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: big and important guests, special guests. I only dragged myself
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: and my sensitive news up here in the cold and
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: the stink and the pee and the poop for important guests.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: And that is what we have today. Oh my man,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: you know him, you love him, You've probably been motivated
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: by him. We got them secure games. What's going on?
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Man, y'all ain't count? Can I do it? Can I
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: do an intro?
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Of course? All right?
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: What's up? This is your favorite therapist?
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: A k A? What do we have? Uh?
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Eric Hillmonger A k A.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: H.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I might be chockle early, but I'm always chuckle late.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: A k A.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: That's okay, concept, Weskin brother, that's an equal exchange.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: We got a fair trade agreement over here. You could
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: take it. There's no place that's right to put it
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: in the pocket, but no pleasure to be here.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: I was just telling y'all this is I do a
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: lot of pause. It's the first part I've ever been
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: on where I've never missed the episode.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: You don't understand how that man bro First of all,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: you know, we know podcasts, you know, just in this
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: network of like from what I found all these years
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: doing it, you do podcasts with different people who are
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: on podcasts you may not even listen to their podcast ever,
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: or or people you don't even know who they're not
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: familiar with they word, but you just know they're a
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: person of repute or whatever. The fact that when we
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: saw we all because we're friends and we're home, we
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: all talked to each other and in fact, we all
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: got together one day and we got the notification on
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: because we all share the Instagram account, and we got
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: the notification that this nigga you question was jogging listening
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: to the podcast.
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: I was like, oh, I'm like, oh, we got it.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: I'm like, we're part of this.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: We just don't think that people that are like I
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: don't know, for lack of a better word, famous or no,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: like no of us, like.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: We know had Deontay cot on this joint that's the episode, right, Yeah,
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: it doesn't What are you talking about?
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: What this is the thing. We look at it and
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: I think we get called up in that too. We
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: look at our numbers. We don't have famous numbers, So
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: we don't think people really know us like that, but
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: people be knowing us.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Nah, And I'm like, man, I've seen.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: You on the Brooklyn Bridge broking jogging. I'm like, this
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: is this nigga is jogging to us? He listens real, Yeah,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I'm jogging to his workout.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: REGI wait a minute. If you got a certain amount
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: of money, you can get a special room in the hospital.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I learned that from from Tyler Perry. Some Tyler Perry show.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: What's that Tyler Perry show? He had? God, uh, beauty
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: and black.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I don't watch a lot of TV.
• 7:45
  Speaker 7: You're not much, but.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: It's basically the premises of the dude is really rich
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: and he was able to afford like they have a
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: special wing or like vi ps, Like there's literally in
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: certain hospitals there are VIP sections.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: That's crazy. What do you get? Like time you go
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: in there, you go to the emergency ron, they like
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: clip a coupon cards? How they how they keep track
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: of that?
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Know, they just give you a little Dominican boy to
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah they yeah, they yeah, they check your bloods out.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: They get a little Dominican boy of that blood.
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: If you need to blood reserves right from the source,
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: if you need an organ notice like slice them open,
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: that's yours high.
• 8:27
  Speaker 7: Roller high.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: And they was like he's a beater for real.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I was like, damn yeah, I love this part.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Y'all are like intellectual and nerdy, but y'all still like
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: regular dudes. But you talk on the elevator level sometimes
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: and it's like the bockery and then like it goes
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: all over.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: They hate when we do that.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: I don't know why that makes it the best, man,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: make your multi dimensional.
• 8:53
  Speaker 8: That's the best way to get information across. Like when
• 8:56
  Speaker 8: you can be relatable on all levels, people listen.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like too.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Many people's just like and we're just regular dudes. Man,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Like we go to we all got work, Like on Monday, Bro,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: we can't really enjoy the super Bowl like that work.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: I think that's the though, because nobody wants to be
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: regular anymore. Everybody wants to be extraordinary, but only on
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: the surface.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be famous. If this podcast, I
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: just want to not work, that's it. If I could
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: just do this and not work, I don't give a fuck.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: I'm cool like that.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: It don't gotta be oh my god, this.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I don't think you can have one without the other
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: because if the podcast blows up to the point where
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: you can quit your job, the notoriety is also going well.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: But if I would love to seek that stage where
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: I don't have that, like I just add a core.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: We don't want to have a nice culture fanatic followers
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: that just give me a lot of money. It don't
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: have to be like thirty thousand people. I just want
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: like fifty really big hardcore downers.
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: Fifty people.
• 10:03
  Speaker 7: Fifty people.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: Fifty people give you two thousand dollars.
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: He is giving you two thousand dollars.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: Like.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: My money for our patrion. Whenever I log in, I'm
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I'm shocked at the number, like this many people. God damn,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: all right, we're doing something.
• 10:22
  Speaker 7: Shout out y'all.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Shout do y'all get noticed in public at all. It
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: happens that I got noticed in a Walmart like last
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: week or like two weeks ago. And it's it's not
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: like like I've I've been noticed a couple of times.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: It's not like I get noticed a lot, but like
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: you can feel when somebody's looking at you, and it's like, yeah,
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: that's the thing, Like I can see you even though
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I'm not looking at you. You're just staring at me
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: for the.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Past five year processing. I know you're processing where you
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: know me from, but it doesn't it hasn't hit you
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: just yet. But I see.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: That's the worst, the back and forth. Like I love
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: when people come up to me a public and it's
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: getting like it's to the point now on certain spaces,
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: I can't just like just chilling, but people walk up
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: and like, hey, where I know you from? It's esta bro.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: No no no, no, no no.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Nah no no, no, no no no. Didn't you graduate
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: from Northwestern High School? Used to play you used to
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: play football with your mo nah Brough Like, no, Bro,
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: that's not okay. I teach you how to be a
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: better father. But it's crazy. I'm just talking to a camera,
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: so it don't feel like that. I'm just I'm just capturing.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Just like you said, y'all just up here being normal dudes.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: I'm just talking to a camera being a normal dude.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: And that's the feedback speaking.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: As like like creators right, do whatever trip you out,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: because it's just me out every time when people like
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: reach out to you and like talk about how your
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: work like affected their lives, like cause you know, we'd
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: be getting those messages sometimes be like yo, man, I
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: was going through a hard time, or like my parents
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: is going through this, like something and such was sick
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: and I listened to y'all and it really helped me
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: get through, or y'all helped you get through the work day.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: And it's like the money is really really great. How
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: little we get of it. Yeah, but that is so
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: gratifying too, just to see people be like yo, man,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: like you really like you helped me live, And it's
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: like that, like how does that feel? I know that
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: happens to you.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels good. It's like an extension of kind
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: of what I always experienced because before I did this,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: I worked in the community. May make you uncomfortable with man,
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: it's I worked in a community helping people who just
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: got out of prison after a long stamp, or people
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: just got out of sewage a sewage substance treatment facilities
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: for a long time, helping them get jobs. So you
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: get that feedback a lot. It's just on a larger scale.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: But to me, I feel like a vessel broke, like
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: real talk. It don't feel like it's for me. It
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: just feels like I'm the one delivering the information from
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: what I know to who needs to hear. So it's
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: it's encouraging for me to keep going.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we keep going. Tell the people who you are.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I want you that are not familiar with Yeah, get
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: started and.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: You're right, You're right. How there. My name is Ki Gaines.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: I am a social media content creator. Most importantly, I
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: am a licensed therapist. I'm a husband, I'm a father,
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: I'm a public speaker, and I'm a big fan of
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: the not that serious podcast man Tingle. There you go,
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: and that was my introduction with the one hundred thousand
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: per back shot. That's the first time I want to
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: tell you you ruined bananas for me. I will run
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: it brother, I'll run it up for your son doing
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: that when I did, I'm about to say that she
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: wasn't pregnant. Run it out you have for you now
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: doing it for a purpose part like a but, and
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: you should nerve that really catches people.
• 14:05
  Speaker 7: You already are in a.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Banana, you know, like with when the two dogs in
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: the connect h a comfortable yearly salary per pump. Hey
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: mann ass.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: I saying not my butt, man, my problem.
• 14:33
  Speaker 7: Not my but.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: But you're gonna have to better but off stronger, but
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: bill for strong, built four tough, but you're you're assistant
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: person said you down for this, so this is we're
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: doing it wrong.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Wait what are you talking about?
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: The person we emailed it was like, yeah.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Oh that's a crazy jump from one. Yeah, I have episode.
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: His buttons said, we're doing it wrong.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: What do you need.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: If he's paying one hundred thousand part, he's going he's
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: not wearing it anyway. I'm being level, not make me wear.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: I haven't heard the term Jimmy has.
• 15:24
  Speaker 9: Jimmy his age old niggas sometimes Jimmy hats Now anyway,
• 15:34
  Speaker 9: it almost got me.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: You get your money's work with that bread.
• 15:37
  Speaker 7: Damn. I never heard of it for real. That's shout
• 15:43
  Speaker 7: out to him. Yeah anyway, but yeah.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: But how long? Like when did you for Like you're
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: a therapist now and I know that takes like how
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: long does it take to do that? But I know
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: it takes like a lot of like hours to become licensed?
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Like how long was that journey for you?
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: It starts with undergrad So you knock out your four
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: years if you like me your six years.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Don't don't worry about you. Don't worry about that. We
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: have friends.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, time, it's okay. Shut your ass up, different, shut
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: your ass up. There's a story. There ain't no story there.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: We can circle back later, I y'all, there's no story.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: We haven't graduated yet.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: There's no story.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: I ran out of money.
• 16:24
  Speaker 7: He's taking one class every three years.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: No, I wasn't just that, I wasn't serious about the classes.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: So then I would fil some classes, have to take
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: him again, sound like? And now I owed the school
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: with the most credits money, and I got to pay
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: that off so that I can finish.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: Only got got his credits for ransom.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Oh that's it. Yeah, okay, yeah, I just got pay
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: him backroun. Now I'm safe enough for it. I just
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: got all my math classes last, I say, my man.
• 16:46
  Speaker 7: And I got like.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: That's the best part, y'all. Look, I don't want to
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: derail y'all thinking about going back.
• 16:51
  Speaker 7: I already reapplied.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: To ask about it all the time. Just like they're
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: on my ass about standing up commedy, I'm on there
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: ass about finishing school.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love to see you on stage stand up.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I mean, we ain't gonna do that or.
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: That's what we're here for.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: I said, I'm normal on you ask about other.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Things, but losing weight too.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's cool, but that's that's good friendship and accountability.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: That's what the road is supposed to do. But hold on,
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: let me talk about the therapy thing because I want
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: to jump into that conversation too. So it's undergrad and
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: then you have to go and get your master's degree
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: in counseling, so that could take anywhere from about two
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: to four years. Then you have to do an internship
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: and a practical one semester each and that's when you
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: go out in the field and you work with people.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: You do one on ones. It's your first experience. Then
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: you have to graduate and sit for your exam exam
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: about four hundred questions about three and a half hours.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: After you do your exam, you have to apply for
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: state licensure and that's depending on what state you live in.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: That could be a little bit of a nightmare. Take
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: about a month to get done, a lot of paperwork.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Then after you do that, after you do your state licensure,
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: then you have to practice for thirty six hundred supervised hours.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: It takes a long time. Man, six hundred, yeah, thirty
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: six hundred hours and you got to meet with a supervisor,
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: which is a more experienced therapist every week, and y'all
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: talk about the cases. Sometimes they tell you're doing a
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: good job. Sometimes they ask you, what.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Are you doing?
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Like that? Ain't how you do that?
• 18:13
  Speaker 5: I'm trying.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm doing my best.
• 18:16
  Speaker 7: I feel like there's a trying error.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it is. It is, and it's people's lives.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: So you want the air to be minimized and a
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: trial to be maximized. But then after that you have
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: to pay again to get your full license.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Shit, so what sticks are your licensed?
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Then I'm in d C.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Damn you're Washington, DC. I can't hit you up there.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: N I can say I live in the Silver Springs.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: That's Maryland, and I know you traveling in Maryland. Yeah,
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: DC is its own municipality. The straight you see loom
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: on U Street, Yeah, you don't visit her. You know
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: a little somebody. I know you're don't rock with that traffic.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I love I love it. Retreatings.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's a strong East African population on the street.
• 18:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, seeing black saying man, yeah you get some bombing.
• 19:03
  Speaker 8: The opian food on U Street. Boy had the opian food.
• 19:07
  Speaker 8: I've been in U Street line, but what you was
• 19:09
  Speaker 8: doing on U Street I was. I was at Barco
• 19:12
  Speaker 8: for Barco was a spot two years ago, three years ago.
• 19:16
  Speaker 8: Now I was doing it Sunday Saturday brunches. I was
• 19:19
  Speaker 8: there every week for r only.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: We all went there one time. You'll dragged me.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you had a great time, say Barco bunches.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's fine. Listen, it's fine when you
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: go to the place they agreed to go to there.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Now when you get there and then they start. You
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: went there, you had your fun and now signed the
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: gun again. Hey, why don't we.
• 19:40
  Speaker 7: Go you We went, so we went to rosemar after.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: You didn't need to do that. We went to that
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: fucking sweat box closet. Yes, and I went him there
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: like this is the place that John wall You gotta
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: go with John. This is this is where this is
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: stopping grounds.
• 20:00
  Speaker 7: It is small, it is bolstered, very small.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: But it depends on how you know, It depends on
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: who in there.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: How it is.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: I'm almost forty some way past the early brunch scenes.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: But I used to do it up back in money day.
• 20:15
  Speaker 7: Used to dance.
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, now just standing there, look at you there by
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: bottles bottle warstle Wars at a five thousand percent mark up.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: That's I'm so glad to have been young when I
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: was young.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: I can't do it.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: I'm know how old y'all. Y'all look like y'all like
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: thirty y'all.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Like, oh yeah, thirty two three, you're thirty three, Okay,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I'll be thir thirty three, okay, thirty two okay, thirty
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: two okay.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, y'all just entering like like.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, y'all, like the things are just starting to creak.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, check engine light fully came on. Yeah,
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: but it's a maintenance need. Yeah, you're blinking.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Blinks from on and off. Sometimes we can't do that.
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 20:56
  Speaker 7: I broke my knee a couple of years ago, So.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Where did you get the forty? It really gets crazy
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: just not trying to.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Let it go.
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: That's when cut off Elsie's leg forty.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: It's not about not letting go, but you gotta stay active,
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: gotta stay active.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Well that's how he broke his knee in the first place.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Staying active. To to actors.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: He's crossing people over the LA fitness.
• 21:18
  Speaker 8: I was in the Basketball League League are you hoop
• 21:21
  Speaker 8: hoop used to I was more of a football player,
• 21:24
  Speaker 8: but yeah, what possition football quarterback, back, receiver?
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm doing it. Cordell Stewart, Yeah I was.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: That was cool.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: That was nice.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: That's like I was just little. Hey man, the little
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: dudes get busy on the field. I'm a Commanders fan.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: Darren supposed used to hurt my feelings. I hated playing. Yeah,
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: next thing, you know, thirty yards up the field disrespects.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Oh so you're from from DC ye from so yeah,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: you're like the third communist fan I've ever met in
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: my life.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: It's a lot of us, but man, I mean one't
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: guy to do this because I know that video that
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: they made the left hand, No, no, that was I
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: would have been who are We hate the name but
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: the song?
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Every time we beat you, I just tweet that you
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: hate us. Can't stand You're Eagles fan, right, absolutely fan.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: You're a Giants fan. You're soccer man. Yeah, Giants we
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: were coming. Yeah, man, don't worry about they got an.
• 22:32
  Speaker 7: Y'all can worry about each other. Don't think about us.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: I got stuff they're doing phi and I don't want that.
• 22:38
  Speaker 7: The Peasants y'all, y'all, I'll.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Tell you, the tables turned very fast in the NFC. Man,
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: y'all still searching for offensive coordinators, right, yeah, y'all kick one.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: That's because that's what happens. When you win. You gotta
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: get sought off. Y'all gotts stay there and.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Enjoy your.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Y'all gonna hit that wall.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: It's coming.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: I know, I know two people ain't got I ain't
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: gotta worry about.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know what it depends.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: We got a new offense cordnerator and a new d
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: and I know we gotta get younger. We don't have
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: the draft capital, but we'll see.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: And as a Sixers fan, you're owned by Josh Harris,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: so that nigga is cheap.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: So see, I haven't experienced.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: You'll find out. It'll be cute for like this year
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: next year. But once he feeling realize that I'm not
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: really about to win right now, the pockets get cheap.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Joe Ellenbi told them he before the trade downline, He's like, listen,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: the team is really cheap and we should spend more money.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: You know what they did. They cut two players to
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: save money, so they can be under the cap. Didn't
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: trade for nobody. That's not a GM thing, No, that's
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: an owner thing because the GM said he got to
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: go to the owner before your proves, and he moves
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: to see if it's in the interest of the team
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: because the owner has to cut the check. See.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm in that situation where we brothers
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: and you got the old dad that didn't know how
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: to say I love you and spend money on the family.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: And now dad has changed. He's different. Now, he's definitely
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: different family.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: It's fun. Hey, listen, I'm changed with this song, but
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I'm still beating the dogs.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: I came from a dad that was so horrible that
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: this guy seems like an angel man.
• 24:25
  Speaker 7: The previous he was.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: Terrible. And the first thing that this guy did say,
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to meddle too much in football operations.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: At least he was an abusing woman. At least you
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: just yeah, this ship nasty, nasty guy owners like yo, yeah.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: When the other billionaires turning back, you went too far,
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: You went too far, your buddy so and then he
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: got so much money. Man, you would think that that
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: will buy him the love and the access, but it
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: just yeah, the dealings in the public. I remember one
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: off season they had the c i A and the
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: FBI yet at training camp at the same time.
• 25:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah, when when he was doing something with the cheerleaders, right.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, that was a different thing. It was, it was,
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: it was I think I think it was some alleged
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: because I don't know what happened inappropriate things with cheerleaders
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: with other like you know, constituents and investors. And then
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: on the other side there was some type of money
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: management issues with ticket sales.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: And then and then like the stadium is literally falling apart.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: The stadium literally almost.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Like crashed down on jail herds. One time he was exiting.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: The place and bro still heartbeat, ain't go above sixty bpms.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: He just spoke almost afterwards like, you know, tough times
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: don't make the man, but the man make the tough time.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: He's gonna get your quotable.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Shout out.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: That's my frat brother, so you.
• 25:58
  Speaker 7: Know, yeah, yeah.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: That's what school you go to U DC University of Columbia.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Shout out to DC. Only public. They were the only
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: public college in DC.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Everybody else private.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: How was in private school?
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: I mean I tried to go there. And he was
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: asking for too much. I was back in two thy eleven.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: They was answered for like fifty thousands of Americans. Yeah yeah,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: by that nasty ass, shitty ass doings. I wish I
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: would good.
• 26:31
  Speaker 7: I was like, I wanted to go to tax.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: On white, education on white, that doctment solid for for
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: that good old document. You know what they weren't you know,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: they weren't slaves, they weren't just a dital service.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, I'm not doing this absolutely what you mean.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: They sold themselves in the slavery all the time.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: That's a crazy talking. It happens too often.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: But as aist, I know you probably recommend everybody seeks therapy.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Can you just talk about like the importance of it
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: and like just like how important it is to really
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: like take that journey because I did a little bit.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know if any of y'all have done therapy before.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I did it for a little while, and.
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: So I went to I went to a therapist. It
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: was like a school therapist once. I went to her
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: once because I was having trouble doing this, like the
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: the stuff you were talking about, like the extra in
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: the field type stuff. I had to do that as
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: part of my rotations after like my fourth year, and
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: I was having a tough time on my first one
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: because it was the first one I was taking, but
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: it was really supposed to be the last one, so
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: they were expecting me to know all this other stuff
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: that I never learned, and it was tough. I went
• 27:54
  Speaker 5: to her once and I cried and I never went back.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: Somebody cry out that I don't I don't remember exactly
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: asking too much of because I mean, yes, like that
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: felt good to get out.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: They gave.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Say nothing.
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: She was saying some stuff. I forgot exactly what she
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: was saying, but she was saying some stuff really really
• 28:27
  Speaker 5: like struggle nerve with me. And I was like, you
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: know what, that's what's up.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: I'm glad like somebody was able to resonate with you
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: like that. I mean so, in terms of therapy, man,
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: I do recommend that everybody goes to therapy. I think
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: that we do this thing now where we weaponized idea
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: therapy to make people feel less about themselves, like, oh,
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: you tripping, you need to see a therapist, Like don't
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: don't do that because it leaves a sour tasting people's minds.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: I think it's good people think that you come to
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: therapy to get fixed. I don't fix anybody. I don't
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: even tell you what to do for. You come to
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: therapy to be better, able to see the truth and
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: not like the social media this is my truth bullshit
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: that helps you avoid hard accountability because your truth is
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: not gonna be so uncomfortable that it forces you to
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: confront something that you don't want to see. It's like
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: punching yourself in the face. You ain't gonna punch yourself
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: in the face hard enough to knock yourself out. You're
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: gonna make it just tolerable enough to hurt, but not
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: so much that you hit the ground. So what I
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: do is help people comfortably like parallel parking to the truth.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: And that's so important because it's easy to lie to yourself,
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: and when it's easy a lot of yourself, it's easy
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: a lot to the people around you. And then you
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: start having thoughts. And if your thoughts and your feelings
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: and your behaviors stay on top of you for long enough,
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: they become beliefs. And beliefs. I mean, you can look
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: at the news and you can see what happens when
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: beliefs aren't rooted in healthy things, but they still live
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: with you in a major way. So yeah, help individuals
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: navigate through that. Therapy is dope. Just gotta find a
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: right therapist.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: That's the I won't say that I won't find the
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: right there, but when you find the right person or
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: someone that even just can remotely, it's eye opening. Because
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: I did it for a spell, I want to say
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: a few months where I shout out to Rosanna. She
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: was just really dope, like she just they really just
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: help you. And now when I look back at it,
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: she didn't really do much. She just gave me the
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: space to explore the answers to the question I was
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: giving her like, because she would literally just ask you
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: a questions like well, what do you think about that?
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Or where do you think that came from? Why are you?
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Why are you even here?
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: What?
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: And then it's not any questions that I'm asking like
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: she's asking me. She's asking me questions to ask myself.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: And one thing she always always two questions she wanted
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: to she like impresses like what do you hope to gain?
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: Or what do you hope to see or find out?
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: And then why do you want to do that? She
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: always told me to find my why Why do you
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: want to know these answers? Why do you want to
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: get to the root of these issues? Why do you why?
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Like what is? Why do you want? What you want
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: from this process? And I feel like with me personally,
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: it was an emotional process, and you know, it took
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: a long time to sit with it and understand it.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: And you know it's some bounce with emotions and some
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: you know, some tears, different things like that, and I
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I owe a lot to it. I feel like I
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: should go back into it because even though I don't
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: feel like what led me into it, Like I felt like,
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: I won't say, a crisis like I was in danger of,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: like you know, bad thoughts are like hurting myself or
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: anything like that, but I just don't feel as distressed.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: But even still, I feel like there's value and especially
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: now at this new stage in my life where I
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: am a dam I feel like there's even more benefit
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: to that.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: And so beautifully said, yeah.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: I don't even know where I'm going with that, but.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: No, you're you're hitting the nail on the head. You
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: said everything that is beneficial about therapy, it forced you
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: to be curious and when you are a little boy,
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: especially a little black boy. Curiosity gets robbed from you.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: You don't get a chance to be curious. You don't
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: get a chance to be in your house and disagree
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: with the culture of your house and say that and
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: have it not be threatening all the time, especially when
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: you get older and you assume a male's body, a
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: man's body.
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that was one of my biggest issues in my
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: house because I would ask my mom or my dad
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: or stepdad, whoever it is. I'd ask, why do I
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: have to do this? Not because I'm trying to be
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: like rebellious rebellious, I just want to understand the logic
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: behind why I'm doing this, like does it actually make sense?
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: Is or something else I could be doing to achieve
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: the same goal. But no, it was always take.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: You're trying to be smart?
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Yes, are you smelling yourself now?
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Huh? No.
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: I just want to understand so I know, I know
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: why I'm doing what I'm doing.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: And it's so crazy because those things I can see
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: how it affects me now, like how I do things
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: and how I live now. Like in my house, I
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: grew up grandparents and my dad grandparents, big church going people,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: church every Sunday church every day in between that, just
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: figure out a reason to go. And it's like you're
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: doing all the activities, doing all the things they force
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: you to do, all these things, and then when you
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: finally get to an age where you kind of have
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: a choice in the matter, you decide, nah, I don't.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: It's it's a whole rigorm It's a whole like you
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: would like, I don't know how many times, like I'd
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: be like I don't feel like going to church, or
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: like I go for I don't go for a church,
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: go to church for like a month or two. They
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: be like, so you don't believe in God anymore?
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: You guilt to confuse autonomy with rebellion, Yeah, yeah, guilt.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: Guilt becomes a shane becomes a tool.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: And it's like I now it's like I'll be like
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: I'm in the stage now, like and now I go
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: I go with my girl, you know, my fiance, Yeah
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: you know, but she didn't really grow up in that
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: culture of going to church, like you know, the religious stuff.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: But she comes to me and she goes, yeah, you know,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: I do want to go to church. And it's not
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: not on force it because like now I'm in the
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: stage where I don't really go like that, but she's
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: coming to me like, yeah, I kind of want to
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: just see, like I want to go, and I'm like,
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I'm curious. I'm curious about church. I want to go.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: And it's like it's something in me that's like I
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: fucked that and it's just because I know why that
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: is there, because I was forced so long. Now I
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: just I don't even want to go, even though I
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: know it can be beneficial if you go in the
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: right space. But it's like I could I see that
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: actively now it's like me working through that, like I
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: don't want it to affect my fan because I got
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: essentially a wife that wants to do it that's right,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: and I got a son that eventually I do want
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: to raise, you know well, but obviously not saying you
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: can't raise your kid well and a world good kid
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: out in outside of that, but I'm saying I do
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: want to raise my kid and that. But it's like
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: I got to overcome that stuff that I went through
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: to make it more like I want to, you know
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: what I mean, put it onto the next generation. It's
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: like it's just crazy, like I just I can see
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: it now, and I can see how I don't want
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: it to affect my next generation, my next see.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: And that's why therapy is important, because you just you
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: named a lot right there. You're talking about multi generational
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: ideas of how stuff's supposed to go. First off of therapy,
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: we talk about religion a lot. There's a lot of
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: church hurt. There's a lot of church hurt. There's a
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: lot of people who are under an assumption that they're
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: disappointing God just by existing as their natural selves. And
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: I don't try to take that away. We just kind
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: of talk through that. But especially when you have major
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: life changes, you getting married, you just graduated from school,
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: you had something happened to your need that affects your mobility.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: You know you you have different desires. You look at
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: your life and it's not what you thought it would be.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: It's not bad, it's just not what you thought it
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: would be. You getting married, you you changing family culture,
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: you Where else are you gonna talk that out with
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: the person who's trained to help you navigate that, who
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: also won't judge you. It's nothing you can say in
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: the therapy session that I make me judge you. There's
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: nothing you could say I'm just the way I see
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: it is when in the boat together. I'm not saying
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: every therapist. I'm saying me.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: I mean like you can say something like listen, like
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: I come to you right m. You're not gonna judge me.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: I come like, listen kere. I'm going through some things.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: But you know what, I listened to that new j
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: cole Alven. It really helped me get through it. I
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: don't need you anymore. Not gonna judge me.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: Judge you, nah, I would love to know what track
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: help you figure out you can find your therapist.
• 36:54
  Speaker 7: You're not gonna judge.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Well, it's the one where he said.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Hope we make it home out there after party is
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: at that joint.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no. He's the one that.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Says, don't you don't you think.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: Ahead? One said I think of the ship, but you
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: can't outfaright me. And when he said I can't out
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: far him, like I can't outdo the generations of trumping,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: like why do it? Don't fight it? Just living it,
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: living yourself and actualize yourself. And I was like, you know,
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: once I saw that, was like I got more from
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: that than any bullshit you've told me over the past
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: few weeks without charging me, and I feel like you
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: should be ashamed of yourself. You should repent and give
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: yourself over the Jermaine.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: You're not gonna judge, You're not You're not gonna judge
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: the profit of fair No, Nah, I wouldn't judge you.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: I will spend the rest of the therapy session just
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: making sure, if you really feel strongly about that cool,
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: let's make sure that you got the tools that you
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: need to still survive once you leave me, that you
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: can be able to whatever you came in therapy for
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: when you're out in the wild, to make sure you
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: still got some protective mechanisms against that because they.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: I like that word you said, a mecanis because that's
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: another word I heard, like therapy is, like it's just
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: giving you tools and coping mechanisms.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: Or perfecting the ones you already or improving the ones
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: that you already have.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know about perfecting. And it's like, what's how
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: what made you decide you wanted to be a therapist?
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: Like how long? Like at what age or at what
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: point in your life or was it something that triggered
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: you Like I cause you know you were talking about
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: how your old profession, like you were helping people like
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: coming through different stages of life like substanceutes and different
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: things like that. Was there like a moment or something,
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: an event or anything that just changed, like you know what,
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: this is what I like to do. I like to
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: be that vestable people, be that god to people that
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: have helped them, you know, find their actual self or
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: be comfortable in their actual self.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I think I think it's a mix of
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: a lot of different things. I grew up in the trap,
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: so I've seen so many people's lives ruined by circumstances
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: beyond their control. And a lot of people come to
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: therapy they don't really know they got the answers. They
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: just need help, like brushing the debris away so that
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: they could see it clearly and they could utilize the joint.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: But I think it was a mix of just knowing
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: homies that probably would have been a brilliant mathematician, but
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: the dude in the neighborhood who sell the most cracked
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: probably got a hold of him first. So instead of
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: putting numbers together now he just count money real fast.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: You know, the dude who was a serial impath, but
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: in the projects, you can't be an impath. That make
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: you a bitch. And when you a bitch, everybody play
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: with you and everybody try you. So he had to
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: become a mask and become tougher than he was, and
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: he lost himself in the process. We've seen that happen
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: with rappers, right, and you see that, And when I
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: see that, I feel sad, like, damn bro could have
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: bloomed into something dope if he had somebody help him.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: So it was a mix of that. And I ended
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: up working at a school where it was a group
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: of therapists and all of them were black women. And
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: do you know how they dress like this? They had
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: on jay's, they had on leggings, They were from almost
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: where I was from. They just had the education. And
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: that was the first time I saw myself in any
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: therapeutic process, because I go to sometimes I speak at
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: collegists and I was like, raise your hand. What do
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: you think I do for a living? If you just
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: look at me, basketball player, you know anything, everything that
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: stereotypical you a rapper? You no, no, And then I said,
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: raise your hand if you would guess that I'm a
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: therapist and nobody raised their hand. I was like, how
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: you going to try to connect people to therapy and
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: they don't even.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: See themselves in it?
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: Exactly?
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. So just the idea of
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: being that that middle ground between the barber shop and
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: like the therapy session, that's that's what made me do it.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: People come and they think that we're gonna be like, oh, yeah,
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: so so I want you to tell me when was
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: your first experience where your father disappointed you? Nah, this
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: is what my therapy sessions look like, just like this
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: sometimes you sech I been like, damn for real.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about that more.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Like you just said something that made me think, oh,
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: let me tell you what I see when you say that.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: It's not like it's not stuffy, it's not so rigid.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: It's really not man and the man therapy has changed
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: so much. You wouldn't know because y'all can't see therapy sessions.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: You only see the lady who does the couple's therapy.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: I can't remember her name, Lauren, like yeah, or Tony
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: soprano therapist right, who was more like a I think
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: she was more of a psychiatrist. I can't remember. But
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: he went in there for panic attacks. You know, this
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: big tough character went in there because his mind and
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: body was doing something that he ain't recognize. He knew
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: he needed help for. So all of those things together, man,
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: just made me feel like I could stand in the
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: gap and do a good job at it and lo
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: and behold. You know, a couple couple hundred thousand dollars
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: in student loan, a few years of my life in
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: the classroom.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: And we're here.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's a it's a nasty number,
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: but I love what I do for a living. Just
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: like you said with the pod, you could do this
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: every day. I could sit and do that every single
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: day and be perfectly happy.
• 42:06
  Speaker 5: Man, that's wonderful.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's so dope when you get like especially
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: black man. Most of my clients are women, and all
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: of my clients aren't black, but black man will kind
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: of therapy in the first session, he'd be real skeptical
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: of me as a question like, yeah.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: Nah, how do you break that barrier down? Because you know,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: like just being regular.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: Like that meeting where curiosity because you.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Know we come from that, especially I don't know what
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: your age ring like younger dudes like us were probably
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: more receptive, but like doing maybe older like you know,
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: it's that barber shoppingtary and things like that, like you
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: don't need you doing therapy because you don't need therapy
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: if crazy, like breaking down that barrier, like making somebody
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: more receptive because you don't even gott to be in
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: the therapy session. I'm say, I'm imagine you probably do
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: this just talking to people in life that have their
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: skepticism of therapy, like how do you break that barrier down?
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: Like they him, try to help them see like oh,
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: there's value and almost like I hate saying proven your
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: worth or proven the value of what you do.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: But that is it, though they men are always going
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: to make you prove it. Why should I listen to you?
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: Almost every time all women who are skeptical of men
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: in men's opinions, they'll make you prove it. But first
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: thing I do is something we do to men a
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: lot in society. I do the opposite. I validate what
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: he's thinking and feeling. You think therapy is bullshit, Yeah,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: I get it. I've had bullshit therapists and bullshit therapy
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: sessions too. Tell me what the last experience was like,
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: you meet on where he is, and when there's resistance,
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: you push until he's too uncomfortable. Then you fall back
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: and you will allow him to be curious about what
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: he thinks. People come to therapy trying to intellectualize and
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: talk about their feelings instead of feeling them, like no, no, no,
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: I don't want to know what you think, bro, I
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: want to know what you feel. And the older ones
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: like it's tough to clack. It's tough to crack for
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: them because they can a flattened manhood or really, you know,
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: if your father never said I love you, you know his
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: idea of love was buying enough whiskey so that he
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: can get through the newspaper enough to sleep at night.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: And he never really connected with you, Like a lot
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: of Boomer's parents were like, he's not He's only going
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: to be able to go so far mentally and emotionally.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: But once you push them to a place where they
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: feel more comfortable talking, bro, you got to tell them
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: like he bro your hours up the first time he's
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: been able to do that though it's never had a
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: space to do it. So it's a crack in the
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: damn and now everything is coming out and they can
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: become too much for him, because if you spent your
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: entire life practicing not feeling, once you actually do feel overwhelming,
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: it can be man, it can be overwhelming, over stimulating,
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: it could be a lot. So then you just take
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: all the different pieces. Okay, we got mother, we got
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: your mother wounds, we got your fatherhood stuff, we got
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: you your tie of money. It's a little gambling addiction
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: right there. Okay, you got unhealthy relationship with s X,
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: unhealthy relationship with women, unhealthy relationship with your children, healthy
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: relationship with masculinity and authority. All right, let's find the
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: most silient strand let's touch that one. How that one
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: feel no masculinity, authority too much? Let's put that back.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: What about your mama? You want to talk about her
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: a little bit. I just talk about her. Okay, Now
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: that we talk about her, let's pull your father into it. Damn,
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: did you notice that your mother and father do the
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: same things that your two ex wives did? Have you
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: noticed that? Look at these patterns? What do you see?
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: And all of a sudden you're like, wait, a damn minute,
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: damn you cooking, young fella? Hey something right? Yeah, you
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: want to up at the two a week. You can
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: see me twice a week, and everyone has the capacity
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: for it. But you got to move past the skepticism,
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: and you move past the skepticism by acknowledging that there's
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: a fair and honest and justifiable reason that they're skeptical. Yeah,
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: smooth like that.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Hmm, that's great. Like, yeah, I just I was feeling
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: that same way too. It's like it's just like you
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: never when you dealing with people that just have been
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: so rigid for so long, dealing with that almost makes
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: you rigid because it's like yeah, because like you just
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: like it's like it alwmost makes you feel hope. Its
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: like I know I'm not gonna get through this person,
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: but let's just turn it off and just go my
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: own way or just do my own thing. But like
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: I said, like I keep bringing this up because this
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: is just a new statement, Like I'm gonna talk about
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: being a new dad and let's talk about it. It's
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: like it's still like kenan, I haven't like when I
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: hold them, When I hold them, bro, it's still like,
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: oh ship, it's me, this is me right here, this
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: is this like this is the fourth generation of my family. Living, breathing.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: I'm responsible for this. HM, this is this is what
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: that matters right now almost, And I guess before we
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: get really getting to this, father and show the conversation,
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: because you know, I got plenty of questions and all
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: that stuff. How has becoming a dad, oh right, not
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: only changed you obviously, but changed how you feel about therapy.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: That has therapy in and of itself changed how you
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: go about it, how you see it now that you
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: have children, because I know you've probably been on this
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: journey longer, this therapy journey, longer than you've had children.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: No, no, a little bit. I started going to therapy
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: right before I started grad school, and I started going
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: to therapy because I was me and my girlfriend at
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: the time, who is now my wife, found out we
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: were pregnant and we loved each other, but we didn't
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: know if we wanted to be together. We wasn't we
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: wasn't there with it. Yeah, so it was it was
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: a situationship that turned into a relationship and like not
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: too long after turn into a relationship. You know that
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: that that that second line on that stick showed up,
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: you're my girl.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: Now, we don't need this. You're my girl. The game.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: I love you. It was just one pump. I told you,
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: I told you, I pushed you off.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: Me mi misscalculated the second to the mass man.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: I'm like you. I thought you need at least two
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: two pumps. Just just one.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: Apparently that's all it takes. Sometimes the pre game is
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: enough to get it down. You ain't gotta go to
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: the party in the pre game gets a cracker.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: You know, shout out the high school money. You know what,
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: I'm man hooper anyway, high school.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: I wondered if he was gonna be on his best behavior,
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: because sometimes the therapist is in the room, people switch
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: it up. I like the fact that shout out two abortions.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: Wait a minute, okay.
• 49:02
  Speaker 7: Shout out I knew that.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: The fact that you can, you know, get about some things.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: Shout shout out to the medicated ones. It's not as gruesome.
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: Right early term.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, he h but this one.
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: But you cool your your son.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: To stick around this one. You cool.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: You pass the vibe, so you get you get to,
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: you get you get, you get to get to.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: I think it's also different when you when you're with
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: your fiance, like and I know it's such a like
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: it's it's a touchy subject socially, just in terms of
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: fatherhood and getting a woman pregnant. But like, once you
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: impregnant somebody, you lose your power to decide what happens.
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: Don't tell you it's gone.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: And that's I wish a lot of younger men knew that. Like, Bro,
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: you don't have that's after that, that's it. That's the
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: last time you ever said And you don't. You can't.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: You don't dictate where this road goes. Yeah, you just
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: you along for the ride. And I think from the
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: side of a lot of young men that I counseled,
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: it's a tough role to be surrounded in a life
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: that you are directly responsible for creating. But you didn't
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: decide whether to go left or right yourself, and that's if.
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: You had to disconnect. They're like, well, I don't get this. Yeah,
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: but you still you made a decision earlier. Oh yeah,
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: it was your major decision.
• 50:36
  Speaker 5: You got in the car.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you got in the car. You didn't know what
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: I was going to Walgreens or whatever it is about to.
• 50:43
  Speaker 7: Go in the trunk.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: You ain't nothing. But well, what's until you got in
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: the car, yeah, car, and a lot of people, a
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: lot of dudes, they can't they can't like correlate that
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: because well, I didn't know there was drugs in the back. Yeah,
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: but you know this wasn't your car.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know what, you know possibly be drug.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: There still needs to be a place where those men
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: can unpack that safely.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, you know what I'm saying.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: Got to have a place where you can talk about that.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: And that was the reason I started therapy because I
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: wasn't ready to be a father, but I was one
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: thousand percent I was finna be one, and I had like, hey,
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: I feel resentment already and this kid ain't here. And
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: what I don't want to do as a man that
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: grew up in the house without his dad is I mean,
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: I was going he was gonna try to work it
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: out at the very least, but I wanted to give
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: it a fair shot, man, And where my brain and
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: my heart was at, I wasn't given nothing a fish
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: shot at the time. I wasn't with it. I was
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: not with it at all.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: So what made you want to do want to give
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: it that fair shot? Like because you never did it before,
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: never did it before, But it's like, I'm gonna do it.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this therapy. I'm gonna see where it goes.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: I think one is my wife. I think that I
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: had to mature into realizing that this was life changing
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: for her too. And it seems obvious, but I was
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: so selfish and thought like, look at what's happening to me.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Look at man, all this is happening to me. It's
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: like it's happening to her too.
• 52:04
  Speaker 7: A lot in a lot of ways, bro.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it's also the person she became.
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: Bro.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: She was way more empathetic to me she was with
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: She started to feel less like a uh, less like
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: a how do I explain it? She started to feel
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: more like a collaborator and copilot than just somebody I
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: was in a relationship with that felt like there was
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: mutual interest between us. She cared about me, not the person,
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: not the provider, I mean, not the provider, not to
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: protect her, but she cared about me, the human like that, Bro,
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: are you okay? She checking on me? She I remember
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: she was pregnant.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: She said, what can I do.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: For you to make your life a little easier?
• 52:45
  Speaker 5: Let's see my life.
• 52:47
  Speaker 8: I ain't never heard those words, like she was trying
• 52:51
  Speaker 8: to teach me what kanda geometry?
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: Bro, I can't, I can't compute.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: What do you?
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: What are you asking me what?
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: I don't? I don't know.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: I've never been as that before.
• 53:02
  Speaker 7: Nobody's ever put those words together before.
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: And when she did, I was like, oh okay, I
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: think that me and you can actually do this. And
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: she proved herself to be an amazing partner, which involded
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: me to be a better partner, which voted her to
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: be a better partner. And it just kept living it up.
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: Then when the baby came, we just kind of fell
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: into place. And damn now that baby eight year old
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: as yeah, eight year old girl man as crazy crazy,
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: I'm mean to cut you off. You're good, bro, what's up?
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: Like the first video I've seen in yours is you
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: were talking to one of your kids about how like
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: mommy needed the day off. Oh yeah, I did not
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: think that video was gonna go crazy, bro. I did
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: not think that because like, like up, but like but
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: this is the day where like mommy, she she just
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: needs to reset. So like everything just come to me
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: like like I got today. I'm handling everything, Like all
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: your problems, all your food. Just just come to me
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: mom and these time yourself. And that's one thing about
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: me and my girl Keanu.
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: We we both.
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: Like our separate space. Like we we literally have two
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: different rooms. I have my office. She has like her
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: closet office. Your only child, No, I have an older brother,
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: older sister. Okay, but like when we meet in the middle, oh,
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: it's just shits and giggles. But like' like okay, now
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: it's time to I need some space a little bit.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: But like it's it's it's not like a like a
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: toxic space. It's just I just need to meet time.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: That's very healthy way. Yeah, it's like we we we
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: live together now granted we've been there a year, and
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: the way my work schedule is and the way my
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: schedule is now, like we're not really together all the time,
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: like halftime, I'm not getting home into like nine to
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: ten o'clock at night, and then by that time we
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: eat sleep on the couch. But it's like we still
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: have our spaces to like unwind. Yeah, And I was
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: like that's I'm like this guy gets to follow.
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: I was like, I like what I just heard.
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: That's some good quick question before you respond to that. Yeah,
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: that day when you had you handle all the mommy problems.
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: What'd you make for lunch at dinner that day? Real
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: cheese and real cheese.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: NA probably Pribby food that that the perfect parents gonna
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: kill me for. I think the youngest man had like
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: some mac and cheese that you're throwing the microwave, and
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: oldest probably had.
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: I probably made her some nuggets and fries if you
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: ask me. Listen, people parents are incredibly dishonest on the internet.
• 55:48
  Speaker 8: Very people are just honestly, you do I.
• 55:54
  Speaker 7: Look the way you expect people hard.
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: You know what they're like? Yo? You know I know
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: you right like you know, I know you for real, like.
• 56:02
  Speaker 7: I know you.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: You can't afford that.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: You got a masking posture, so you when it's uncomfortable
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: being the person you are, you have to turn to
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: the person that you want to be. And that's what
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: people do online. So yeah, I made it that, But
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: that wasn't That wasn't remarkable to me. I do it
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: all the time. My wife does that to me too.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: No Daddy's in the room. If I just start a
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: Madden game and I'm smoking somebody crazy, man, what we'll
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: see what's upright, Everybody talk crazy and the next thing
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm up twenty eight nothing and a half
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: and you're talking about man on blitzing bro. No, I
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: ain't trying to hear none of that WiFi connection.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: It's too high.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: I'm on that Madden. But she was like, nah, daddy
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: needs some time, So we do that for each other.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: It's there's a reciprocity in relationships that people don't talk
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: about online for some reason. I think it's because it's
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: easier to just say, like, this group is supposed to
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: do this unequivocally and nothing else should be said.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: And most of the time when I see like those
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: genders or type thing, it's like it's coming from people
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: that either a have had nothing but bad relationships and
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: or they don't have one, they don't have a girlfriend
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: or boyfriend at or we're a partner at all. It's like,
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: you don't know, you don't, you don't, you don't have nobody.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: You're too cynical to even let anybody close enough to
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: prove you wrong. You know what I'm saying.
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: You suck too much to let nobody want to get
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: around you. You just suck too hard.
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you really, maybe you should. Maybe if you saw
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: a therapist, not wrong, you unpack that. Yeah, it could,
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: it could, It could change that for you. It's one
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: thing to say relationships suck, and it's one thing to
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: say I hate relationships. It's another thing to say that
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: you should hate relationships.
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: Relationships don't suck. You suck around relationship. You you suck.
• 57:49
  Speaker 10: You see me talking to you. You suck, but you
• 57:55
  Speaker 10: don't have to suck forever. Therapy helps you suck less.
• 58:00
  Speaker 10: So if you want to suck less, go to therapy.
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: But nobody thinks they suck though, or they don't think
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: they suck. They think they suck in areas that they're
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: so conscious about. But the wire whariness ain't always especially
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: in relationships. People over value kind of what their contribution
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: to their partner does. Yeah, I can see that. Oh yeah, yeah,
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: that's not doing what you think it's doing. Oh yeah,
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: but I applaud the tempt though.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm killing that bottle washer though low householdill
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: fall a part of love that bottle loss.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, bro, you gotta find a fall apart.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: Is he sleeping through the night, He's sleeping longer stretches
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: now so now we're at the he's sleeping like four
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: and five hours. Oh yeah, bless up. He can knock out. Yeah,
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: that's your boy, that sleeping in.
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: That's yeah. Watch off of them sleep aggressions because they
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: that you got about four of them between this stage
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: and eighteen months where they just decided they no, I
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: ain't doing Yeah, I'm not sleeping.
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: Bro we out sign it's up.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: We outside, daddy, come get me.
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: Come on, it's summer time.
• 59:16
  Speaker 7: But what coat changed me to thirty in the morning?
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: He don't like getting that butt change.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: Oh I don't let that white be cold.
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh no, we got white warmers.
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: Does it work? Because sometimes dry out it works.
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: But the rare occasion where it's no wipe's in the
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: white woman, we gotta use cooling. He is, he ain't
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: feeling me.
• 59:36
  Speaker 11: I'll like sit there, cold wipe hit that little sack
• 59:44
  Speaker 11: and he is up.
• 59:48
  Speaker 5: You put a cold wipe on your sack.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: No, you know, he's like, what are y'all doing?
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: No mos no moss. You know what I like When
• 59:57
  Speaker 2: I listen to the part, I like the way because
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: you know they always say men don't have friends and
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: men don't have intimacy, which is not true. It just
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: looks different. But every time he talks about fatherhood, y'all
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: are so supportive, man, and y'all back them up and
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: y'all ask follow up questions. Man, y'all show genuine interest
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: and enthusiasm, and that's that's important to him. And when
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: it's your time, I know would be reciprocated.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 8: You know it is because he's like the closest one.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 8: Like we have other friends that have had kids, but like,
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 8: this is my best friend. So it's like I'm gonna
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 8: ask because he's guiding us in a sense, like I
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 8: want to have kids, so I ask anybody ask.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: Me going over there. I had to call him one
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: day on FaceTime. I'm like, I haven't seen my nephew
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: in the bit that I love in fun of those
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: people all the time, like the parents. It's like, oh,
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: as soon as we talk about with my kid, I
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: gotta show you a picture of them. I gotta I
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: gotta say sorry, sorry, guys, I'm that guy now supposed to.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: Be bringing this nigga up. Hey look at how look
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: how cuty is. We had to leave because I started looking.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: I had a little we got a little baby monitor
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: got the app on the ship because it's the first
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: time I've been back in like two weeks or so,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: so we it's like around what eleven or something that night.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: You know, it's not even late. It's like seven eight seven, yeah, six,
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: let's sake seven six. And I'm checking the app. I
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: get a little notification in the ass like oh, it's
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: there's crying near Carter's crib. I'm like, okay, what's going
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: on here? And I see my baby and then I
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: see my my, my, my lady, just like I'm I'm
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: looking like they don't even know it's spine on him
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: right now. And then I see him and I see
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: his face. Oh, and I lean over and go to
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: look at my and they're like what is Mike doing?
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: Is like he's looking at his baby, Like all right,
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: we gotta get about of here. He needs to get
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: back home to you need to leave.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: Dad dismissed it as y'all should man, it's dad love
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: you start talking about your kids, Hey, Bro, I want
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: to hear about your kids. Showing me no pictures, I
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: mean after like three like, I.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: See you, Yeah, I got one to Bro was definitely
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: like he was like, yeah, I haven't seen.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 4: No. He was like.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, send them, send them. Actually take
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: the phone to the crib. Let me see what He's
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: just like, yeah, like whatever, you see that baby?
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 7: And then I sent it to my mom.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 12: Look, I got a text from text from I can't
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 12: wait to see this beautiful God, bless that baby. Blessed
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 12: that beautiful strong black baby.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: Send me, like I got friends in me a picture
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: of the kids. I sent him to my parents because
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: like we all grew up together, so they're invested in
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: you and your family, just like I'm invested in your family.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: Like everybody want to see when RTI got married in secret. Yeah,
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: it's like, oh, shout your shout out to you.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: R T listening Like.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: Damn what I do because pictures of him cutting the cake.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 7: I'm like, you did get married, he didn't get married,
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 7: and I got.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, bro, happy for you. Yeah, that's another one of
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: my friends got engaged. Was happy for them.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: It's just you know, y'll like that age though, you
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: know what I think it is for Mike, And like
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: I usually don't see Mike super excited about something, but
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: how much I think he values being a father and
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: like how much effort I think he puts into it,
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: or like thought he puts into it.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 5: I have to ask him about it because he obviously
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 5: loves this. He loves him, he loves the process. So
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 5: it's like I gotta support that.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: I love that, man. I remember y'all were episode, y'all
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: were talking about the baby shower. You're talking about your
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: larger group of friends. Y'all brought them into the conversation,
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: Like that's that's how this is supposed to. That's how
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: the bros are supposed to navigate each other's lives, y'all.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: Growing, Man, tell you one thing, man, and I always
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: say it, my friends are my family for real. Yeah,
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: Like I'm closer to my friends than a lot of
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: my cousins or whatever.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: Another episode we saw about family was like, Bro, if
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: I could do that same thing with my friends, I
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: a guarantee hang out with all my niggas every year,
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: I would be in bliss a friend like a friend
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: a friend union, like you know what I'm saying, but
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: like I love these guys like and it's like, especially
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: like my baby shower, everybody came through and the only
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: people that can't come through they had ailments, like actual
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: physical ailments that precluded them from coming. I was like
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: everybody came pluded, everybody came like they they show showed
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: so much love. Man, it's like and I know I
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: do sing together, go to their reunions or their weddings
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: or their showers. It's like you're seeing these men that
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: I've grown up and I've seen in so many different lights, lights,
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: so many different phases to somebody like these are dudes.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: Like I was doing nefarious things with them.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: We were straight crash outs.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: And nefarious evil. Evil could be life run and things,
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: and some of these things got out bruh. But now
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: we're here. But now like there men they're like grown
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: men with families, fathers, multiple children, wives, all that stuff,
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: good jobs. But I'm like I and it's like the
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: growth is crazy and it's like all my people are
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: growing at a nice rate. Everybody's like it is growing.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: It's just good. And it's like I see that in
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: myself and it always motivates me, not only just seeing them,
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: I period, but now it's the extra motivation. I see
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: this this little, this little nugget of a guy that's me,
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: and man, it's it's crazy, like I just yeah, like
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: from the moment he came up out of there and
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: I cried immediately and they put me in. I'll never
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: forget that day. I've never It's just I don't know.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: Did you watch the whole time?
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: I watched the whole time.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: I watched both of them. I was I was four
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: feet from the dookie, just right there. Watch it's the
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: craziest thing you've ever seen.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: Watch them come out. No, no, I was holding the
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: hand I was on for.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 5: You.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm right here with it. I'm looking the
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: whole time. And then yeah, no, no, no, that's just
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know, that's the hair crown. That was like, hey,
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: look at this, and she was playing with the hair
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: and like, babies don't just come out, they kind of
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: come out, then they suck back in. And when she pushed,
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 2: they come out, then they suck back in. It's a
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: lot of it's gory, though, it's a lot of a
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 2: lot of yeah, look like a murder saying beautiful though,
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: Bro's so beautiful.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: I've seen videos when it happens, I couldn't like when
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: they pulled him out, immediate, immediate, It happened so fast.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: I couldn't even recognize that the tears are coming when
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: they and I'm like, yo, what is like?
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: They ain't come out of there quick too.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm still kind of like fighting the tears
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: because they come out, wipe them down. And they heard
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: me cut this umbilical. I'm still like crazy too. You
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: think it's just like I don't have I'm having this
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: emotional rusting. You want me to have fine motor skill.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: It's a bilical right now, Bro, I'm in distress. Give
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: me a moment. And then he took a little long
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: and I anticipated for the for the crying to come out.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, dot hey, they like they wrestling and
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: tussling them to get the breathing going.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yo, they be roughing them up.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, like god damn cuchhball or something that's my son.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: Nigga like m like flewing that nigga like he like,
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: you know, a deep ditch. I'm like, and I don't
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: hear no crying, and I'm like, okay, we're good handling
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: my baby like a funnel cake.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 4: Bro.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: They swimming around like a cotton candy like whoopen work
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: stagger and flipping like god brother, but like it's I
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: don't know. I can wax about that all day, like
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: I I mean, before we get into these questions me personally,
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: your dad, you've been doing this for a long time,
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: not well longer than me relatively. What is some advice
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: you have for me?
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: O little father, father, the new father, father, the new father.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: One thing you've already done really well is you surrounded
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: yourself in community that cares. That's the first thing.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: That's one thing I electric continue with, Like, that's one
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: thing when me and my fiance, when she was pregnant,
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: and even before then, we were talking about the pros
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: and cons of having a baby and like can we
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: do this? Can we realistically do this? One thing I
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: always said, and one thing we kind of always agreed
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: on is that we had a strong community of people
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: that loved us and would be supportive to us. Not
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: even just my friends, but my actual family, Like her
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: family is really great and are willing like her parents
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: wanted to move on the top of a drop of
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: a dime. Her parents live in Virginia, right and her
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: mom stayed with us for a month. From the from
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: the data board like a couple a week before the
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: baby was born to about a couple like a week
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: or so ago, stayed with us, helped us out, and
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: miss man shout out to you love you. She was
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: so much help. But it's like people that want to
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: do that. And then it's like we're talking about how,
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: you know, when she's going back to work, and then
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: when I come off, like I'm talking to my my
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: mom was talking about how, like you know, I could
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: take time off too. They got they had bonding time
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: for grandparents. I could take that and help and do
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: this and this, and then my great my grandma aka
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: his great grandma, I'll be willing to do this. It's
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: like that said, we got that, and then it's like
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: I haven't even incorporated even thought about my friends. I mean,
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, they're all grown with their own lives, but
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: I'm more than sure they would if they could if
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: I asked. If I'm just saying, you know, I mean,
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: Erica would never let none of your niggas watching him,
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: but I would not even hell no, he seems so responsible.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: I mean, y'all seem responsible.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: That shows up the work drawn he's not.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: That's but he's never done that. That is crazycusy oh,
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: it's not an accusation which one of y'all be doing
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: the pool thing, got the co worker that you helped
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 2: with the swimming thing.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: In fact, I'm not accusing.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 2: So you think you think I don't hold up.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: As a person a therapist that can understands the psyche
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: of the human mind.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 2: And killing me up.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: Lady's trying to suck him right there, you go, thank you.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: That's what.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 2: I've never seen her whole life.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 7: It's over now though, right like it's already.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: No, no, we we haven't swimm for a few months.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 2: Like she's like she's had something. It's something. It's something
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: about just the way that he talks about his girl
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: and how freely he talks about her, and just his
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: demeanor every time he talks about this. I think even
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 2: if she did, I don't think it madest, Like I
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: think he's really there, like, hey, I'm trying to help
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: you swim.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: Like that is that if he was like a pizza
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: boy and it's like like in a pizza boy porno
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: situation and like why don't you come in and I
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: can pay for something else? You have catch you.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 7: My personal.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: With something else, keep.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: You three stacks. I like, like I try not to
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: be desensitized by things that so like a lot of
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 2: stuff like stuff like they'll be like, oh, you ain't
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: say I'm like no because I don't want to see it.
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: Keep your hot, because like the moment I become deed
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 2: desensitized to that stuff, I'm.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 3: Like now now now I'm like the essentially, I'm like
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 3: the rest of y'all.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: I might say you everybody else you pop at that point,
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: everybody else, I'm like, yeah, but Biggie would definitely let
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 2: me watch j I.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: Want to guarantee you a thousand dollars. We're not gonna.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: Now now, Oh, I've never been on the poding do
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: not call me, don't have to, No, you should Okay,
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 2: I'm curious. Now you gotta tell us you'll speaker thought
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: already know what's happening.
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 5: She shouldn't.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: You hope you don't wake him up? Rights, Oh, she
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: might be like, hey, babe, real quick, you're alive on
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: the podcast, I have a question for you. Say, first
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: of all, say hello hello to kere Hi. Hi.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 2: You have no idea who I am, but hello there.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 2: It's very nice.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: She She's like, she's like, oh, I know him, my father.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: He's really good.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh hey, what's up now?
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 8: Mom?
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: Is the baby sleeping? Am I disturbing? Yeah? No question
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: for you out of the podcast? Right, if you could
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: lift them and Q and include Q and Corey who
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: at the top, Like, who would you most likely? Let
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: watch C J. Carter on their own? Rank them from
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: the most likely? Yeah, it is is Keenan Number one.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: I did.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: That was one.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: Oh uh no, so let's let's let's get your ranking.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 4: Dad. Your friends are pretty responsible, okay, I would say, uh, Honestly, Lamont, Keenan,
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 4: and Cue are like I just need to put them
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 4: in two yours.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 12: That's like tier one.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: Mm hm your tier one can here's in tier one.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: That's that's surprising.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 5: Okay, Tier one, responsible person.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: He's just a Republican y right, c C.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 5: I think said republican.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 2: That's crazy to me.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 7: And Corey are tier too, Yeah, Corey Corey on Tier three.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 2: Division three college football.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: We're not going to ask for any reasons. That's crazy.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: I trust you know.
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 2: You're still living your young, wild and free life. Man,
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 2: live it up.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 5: I asked the dog to watch it.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. I didn't think you would be at the boy,
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: you know, I got I think it's a bis of
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: your lifestyle. Of course, it's a lifestyle. In fact, you
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: can't cut a wild I got a couple of baby baby,
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: that's true. You just got to make a formula.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 7: But yeah, I got two younger brothers.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: I got a nephew that I wouldn't put you at
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: the Bible.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 7: I got three younger baby because me personally, I.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 3: Don't know why I would be at father.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: What would you rank them? Is like, think would be
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: the best dad?
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: That's no talent. And I got some straight mystery and
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: his friends that I thought would be irresponsible fathers, and
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: they're incredible. There's no time. It's like Josh Allen, like
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 2: the college tape, be crazy, and then you get to
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: the NFL. You're like, oh that's what you turned into.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 2: Didn't see that coming.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 3: It just takes a big change to make a lifestyle change.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: So you ain't never lied, that's all.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 3: It takes just this one big moment and be like,
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 3: you know what you see, I've been sucking up.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: Weed in two months. You haven't since since like Christmas.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 2: Time when you get you want to take one hit
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 2: in your mind.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: Actually I had to ask that.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, baby, can I can I smoke with
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: the super Bowl?
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: What she said?
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: She said, yeah, single.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: Men will, single man with no kids will listening to
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 2: that be like I ain't never getting married to have
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 2: a kid. You got to ask for permission to smoke,
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: like like you're on the inside. And it doesn't it
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 2: doesn't feel like it's sounds like, bro, it's.
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: Not that crazy. It's like, do you really want to
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: be high around the baby all the time?
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 2: That doesn't sound fun.
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: You know, it's not cool.
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 2: It's not not cool, not fun. Your responsible kid turns
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 2: about to that's oh yeah.
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: Once he once he starts being able to hold his
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: head up for a real going crazy, I'm back, who
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: me back from what.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 4: I know?
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: You smoked me. I don't got no problem with marijuana.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: I know what makes you think because I have dark lips,
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: I'm no nigga.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 2: If my lips were bright pink on this black ass face,
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 2: I look like a Dragon Balls.
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 7: Character like Marvin Harrison Jr.
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 1: Exactly, that's crazy. It was like mister Pobo, Yes, Mark.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: Harrison Dragon unfortunate looking boy Max is in Arizona practicing
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: fifty fifty balls, minding his business and quarters straight. On
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 2: the podcast, looking. I think, Yeah, he's gonna be fine.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: He is unfortunately looking. Now, Lord give him take some
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: WHI pull it up.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 7: Yeah, shout the shoutout of b very twenty three.
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 2: Apparently his his his his brother's coming up. Yeah, and
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 2: he's he's he's, he's better, saying that he's.
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: Better than him.
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and the boys got crazy blood lines, man, Yeah
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 2: he did. Yeah, I forgot about Robart Harrison was disgusting, bro.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 2: He was disgusting him a Tory Holt, which is too
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 2: unassumingly tremendous wide receivers. We had a question we never
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 2: got back to, but yeah, you remember was hell, no,
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 2: neither we're talking about.
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: I was asking about how fatherhood has changed. Oh yeah, damn, okay,
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: how father is like affected? Like what is it?
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 7: He said? Advice?
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 2: Right, good community, good healthy hippotamus community first, and then yeah,
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 2: so community one. I'll keep it short too. You know,
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 2: you and your partner, man, y'all got to take care
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 2: of each other. And it's hard to remember that y'all
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 2: on the same team when she gets thick sometimes. But
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 2: you said something really important. You talked about all the
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 2: community I have and a lot of couples are coming
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: to counseling. You know, he doesn't do enough. Well, she
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 2: doesn't do anything for me anymore. And they just don't
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 2: realize that they're leaning on each other for things that
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 2: community should be taken care of. Like b you this
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 2: this young man who is thirty something has lived on
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 2: his own for a while, but he's never taken care
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 2: of anyone else, and now he has to take care
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: of a postpartum woman. That's where's her mom? Where's her dad?
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 2: Where's his mom? Where's his dad? Where the aunties were
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 2: the uncles? Where's somebody in come and stay with for
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 2: a month, somebody who can make sure that the baby's
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 2: taking a bath and that mama gets a bath too,
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: like you. That's the second part. Y'all gotta take care
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: of each other, same team, to.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: Remind each other to wash her.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, y'all in the thick.
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 13: We were just sitting there, like if you watch it, yeah,
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 13: like crush your legs and it's a little sticky, it's like.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: The least.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, crstace. Yeah, you want to take care of that.
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 2: I would say that, And I think the third thing
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 2: advice the fathers man. You're learning all the time. You're
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: constantly learning. You know, it's just as important to make
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 2: it right as it is to get it right like everyone.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 2: I think idea of perfect parenting came from the way
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 2: they push general parenting on us. And sometimes the way
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 2: they market general parents is more like permissive parenting. Like no,
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: you're just afraid for your kids to be upset with
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 2: you or afraid for your kids life to have some
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 2: semblance to yours, but you're not doing them any justice.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: Likewhere in the middle it usually is.
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 2: It bounces from one side to the other on that spectrum,
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 2: but it usually falls somewhere in the center. You know,
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 2: just just keep in mind. Just keep that in mind.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 2: And you know, when you're doing things for your kid
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 2: and you feel like a bad parent, it can make
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 2: you overwork yourself as a parent, like sometimes your kids
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 2: don't care. Like I saw Tabitha Brown speak one time,
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 2: shout out to tab I saw Tabitha Brown speak, shout.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: To her seasons too.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 2: Have y'all ever met her in person?
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: I would love. She looked like she.
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 2: She's exactly who you think she is, bro.
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 3: She looks like she gives an amazing hugs. She does
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 3: like I just like, can I just have a hug, I.
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 2: Want to ask that she's amazing and she's brilliant, and
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 2: her husband shout out a chance to he dope too.
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 2: But Tabitha said she was talking one time at this
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 2: motherhood conference and she was talking about she was apologizing
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: to her daughter's like, baby, I did all these things
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: and I didn't you were little, wold know wish I
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 2: would have. And her daughter said, mommy girl, I don't
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 2: remember none of that. Mm hmm. And sometimes we taughture
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 2: ourselves with the idea of being a perfect parent when
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 2: you're doing it for you and not for your kid,
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 2: you know, so you don't always gott to do too much, bro,
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 2: Just remember that that's gonna be a hard one.
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 5: Now.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 2: Boom wang boomang. What that means.
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 1: At all means?
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 2: It means what it means, It means what it means
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 2: is there it is go boom wang boom boom wang.
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 2: Still put that in as.
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's questions.
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 5: We actually need the trademark then, But yeah, I got
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 5: some questions from our lovely discord. A couple of people
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 5: send some questions for you, specifically specifically for you here.
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 2: First question, what's up Discords up A job man?
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, if you could delete one dating myth from the
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 5: internet forever, what would it be.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 7: That's a good question.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 2: That relationship should be based on gender roles, like the
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 2: man's supposed to do this, woman's supposed to do that. No,
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 2: do have the other person do the thing? That's a
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: mixed what they're better at and how who hates it
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 2: the least? It shouldn't. Well, a man is supposed to
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: that's your concept of a man that you drew in
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 2: your mind, probably from movies and TVs and other people
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 2: on social media that don't have any definitive direction. But
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: you want, if you want your relationship to last, let
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 2: the person who's the best at it and who hates
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 2: it the least do the task.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: I can go with that, Yeah, because that's an example.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 1: In my house, I do the cooking. Yeah, she's the
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: cleaner because that you know, she got a little Timo
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 1: CD going on, So she cleans, I cook. You know
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And that's it just it just works
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: for us.
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 2: If you want ranchos wavos ranchero, so you want over easy,
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 2: all I do is scramble. So maybe that's a task.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 2: Maybe that's just that Maybe you got her own.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: Yes, like, hey, hot dogs, there's no debate hot dogs today,
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 1: like like onion rings and fries.
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 2: And once you assign me a task, you gotta you
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 2: gotta let me cook. Like you can't be like, well,
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 2: you know, you start overlapping. Na, if this is my task,
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 2: do it exactly. But if you do it, then you
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 2: exhaust yourself and then the relationship starts to take on water.
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 2: So people got to be more cognizant that they control issues.
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: We all have them the summer degree, but I think.
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 1: We live about them a line.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good question. Dis quarter, thank you for
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 2: another question.
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 5: They said, be honest, are friendships with people you've slept
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 5: with ever really just friendships?
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 2: I think it depends. It depends. First off, both of
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 2: y'all have to be in the mutual space of understanding
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 2: that it's just a friendship. Now, if you just saying
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 2: that to keep the ball rollingom in the back of
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 2: your head, you're like, man, if I get another shot,
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 2: you know, try to hit it again. That's not authentic.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 2: So if you both authentically agree, yeah, I think there's
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 2: there's more than enough space and any type of relationship
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 2: for it to be a multitude of things, But you
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 2: just gotta be honest. If you're still trying to crack,
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 2: then I think you have to distance yourself from that
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 2: person if they just authentically want to be friends and
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 2: vice versus til you get the chance to crack, if
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 2: you both want to crack. But if if it's one sided,
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 2: or if you be an opportunist, you know, dud, I'm
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 2: a nice guy. It's like, no, you're an opportunist trying
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 2: to backdoor bro like you're not a nice guy. That's
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 2: that's nasty.
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 1: Behavior, trying to turn some get it in there. You
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 1: have the muddy, you got the money, lie like the
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: tell you crazy.
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 2: M hm hmm.
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 5: Okay, let's see. I'll do one more of the questions
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 5: from the discord. I think you already helped up with
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 5: the men dad question. So this one's kind of general though.
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 5: It just says three tips for Mike and all the
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 5: other men in relationships to.
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 2: Navigate and deepen them, navigating deep in them.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 5: I don't know if there's any like broad tips for
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 5: relationships what.
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 2: Comes to mind. I think it's very pen and said
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 2: one that I think is poignant, and y'all enjoy enough
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 2: healthy space together, enough healthy healthy space apart and somewhere
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 2: in the middle, y'all, it'll be dope with y'all. Learn
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 2: to be alone together. Like everything your relationship is not
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 2: an opportunity for connection. Sometimes y'all just coexistent and that's okay. Nah,
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 2: that's okay. Sometimes yeah, and that's and that's okay. You know,
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 2: when it's time for connection. Make sure y'all on the
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 2: same page with that, you know, to keeping them for y'all,
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 2: just know that they fell in love with the person
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 2: that you are, so you don't have to become a
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 2: different person. Just maintain consistency with your values and your morals.
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 2: I think a lot of people kind of lose that
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 2: over time, and I mean, I think y'all might notice.
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 2: But marriage is not fun and exciting like it's a
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 2: it's it's it's pretty like it's all right, it's pretty
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 2: boring a lot of times, and it's uneventful. That's healthy
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 2: and actually it's very healthy for partnership to be born
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 2: and uneventful, it I see, But you know, it has
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 2: to be it has to be an element, element of predictability,
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 2: Like y'all gonna have fun and exciting, but the baseline
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 2: of partnership isn't fireworks. And you know funnel cakes and
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 2: I already said funnel case. I guess I really want
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 2: one today.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 5: I don't know what else is that?
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 2: A fair pickles Oreo is still delicious. Bro had oo
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 2: years too long after about three? You know your summer?
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 2: Notice that keep it sliding?
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, something's gonna be sliding.
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: How do you feel about how do you feel about
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 1: girl Scout cookies?
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 2: You ask everybody the cannabis strained or the.
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: I know about it.
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 2: I saw it on Wikipedia. Girlskt cookies, alright, I mean
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 2: I'll be buying a lot of them. But it's not
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 2: like the popcorns to double goods like to you know
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 2: what double goods?
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 1: Being little double goods all right? Like the butter one
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 1: is cool. I don't really get into the fire too,
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: but like the kids, like I guess one of my
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 1: mom's friends kids was hustling them for like the little fundraisers.
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 2: They be spanking you for a bag of pop like
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 2: ten dollars. Wait, wait a minute, my sister, yo, we're
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 2: doing a fun raising. Keep this popcorn is eleven dollars
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 2: a bag trying fun the trip to Bosnia, the bags
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 2: bigger at least niggas better be going to Tokyo and
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 2: the basic getting smaller. They used to be bigger back
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 2: in my back in my day, we sold Katie did,
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 2: Katy did.
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 2: It's like a chocolate man, don't get me the chocolate
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 2: like an almondal pecan. I can't tell you lost me caramel.
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 1: You like the lemon, the lemonades, lemon girlsout cookies.
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 2: I don't like lemon pastries.
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 1: I don't believe there.
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh key limpie. I would do upside down pineapple cake.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 2: Outside of that, I don't do no citrus in uh
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 2: in desserts. But I get killed online for my food takes.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 3: Man, you you're missing that on some great stuff.
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 2: I'm good.
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 1: What's the most controversial food to I don't want to
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: do it. Bro. They done tore me up for not
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 1: liking cheesecakes, all of us not seeing what. I don't
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: know if you saw you get them like.
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 7: It was mad, Like what do you mean you don't like?
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: You can eat it?
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 2: I got to be for mac and cheese, man, mac
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 2: and cheese, all of it. Oh, I just I don't
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 2: hate it. I was on a podcast and they brought
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 2: this out of nowhere. Every thanks Giving a resurface that
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 2: you're and I get nasty dns. My mama mac and cheese.
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 2: I don't care. It's not it's not who makes it's
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 2: mac and cheese. I'm not a cheese guy. I am.
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 1: I supposed to help you make how you to help
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 1: me become a better man? And you don't like cheese?
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 1: You ain't black.
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 2: Me twelve countries in Africa.
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 7: Yeah, so it's the cheese itself you don't like.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 2: It's just it's a pretty flat flavor profile. Bro, I
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 2: just don't. I don't get it. I really don't understand.
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 1: It's just butter and cheese.
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 2: But I said that on Aman Shumper's podcast, and they
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 2: got so mad at me, like what it tastes like?
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 2: It was like, bro, it's butter and salty noodle and man,
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 2: they were visibly.
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 8: Angry that that you ain't You ain't have my mom
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 8: mac and cheese. It really there's only it can only taste.
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 8: It's like once you start adding stuff, you're doing something.
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 8: It's doing bacon.
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 2: I'm not a I'm not a fan of the baked stuff.
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 2: Haitian mac and cheese. My wife is Haitian Hatian mac
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 2: and cheese. Don't you different? It's good?
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: Don't you? Don't you?
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 2: Don't you?
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 2: Somebody doesn't like Haitian food. Oh, I love me some
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 2: hate food. They can keep that mac and cheese. You
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 2: don't like mac and cheese? Why are we putting peppers
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 2: and onions in the mac and cheese? I can see
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 2: somebody mac and cheese outside of the crispy corners. Man,
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 2: it's the seasons they use. Bro It hit me, It
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 2: hit me, hit me where it needs to listen. I
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 2: I go, I go to a last year, I went
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 2: to a Haitian Thanksgiving, okay, and they purposely make two
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 2: pans mac and cheese because the second generation Haiti is like,
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 2: we don't want that ship. They want the Grillo. Yeah,
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 2: they want to, but none come week.
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 1: How your wife?
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 2: How was she? She nice with everything?
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 1: Bro?
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 2: If y'all ever in d C. Mic is Haitian food
• 1:31:11
  Speaker 2: is not my bag? Well neither is afro beats. So
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 2: I just think.
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you nineteen tracks of that I love. I'm
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: on board. Thank you.
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 2: Food is incredible. It just takes forever to make you
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 2: know what.
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 1: I'm starting to come around to go go look at you.
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 1: I heard some tracks on modern Go Go Modern Go.
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: What's different eras of pots and ship like the stuff on.
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 2: The nineties you know, not a fan.
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that remind me. Have you ever seen Turns in? Yes?
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 1: Where the monkeys not too much. That's gos and clothes
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 1: and shipping together.
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 2: Go Go is better when you experience it at a
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 2: fire party with everybody dancing. You know, if you experience Yeah,
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 2: if you in a Go Go, what color of the walls?
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 2: When you leave there? They blew because you getting work
• 1:32:06
  Speaker 2: the whole time, you got your man's holding you up.
• 1:32:08
  Speaker 2: You gotta hold your shirt up. Go Go is a
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 2: good time. You with you, you with your friends, and
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 2: y'all just kind of partying together. But it's different eras
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 2: of Go Go. Now we're in a bounce be era,
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 2: which I think you might actually like. Yeah, Nah, bounce
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 2: beats like it's like a it's a cadence.
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 1: It's like a.
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 2: Girl that's commercial. Nah, it's that's commercial Go Go. They
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 2: start playing pretty girls, and uh, what's the other joint?
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 2: I know, you know what's the DC hits? They always
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 2: play sexy lady fan that's my ship though, Yeah, that's
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 2: that's the commercial go that's the mass appeal. I said
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 2: them the best ones. Nah, not when you're from there. Man,
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 2: you gotta get some c C B.
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 1: It's a couple of videos. I don't know. It's like
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 1: they were doing clips of like they do the Go
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 1: Go they all doing at this house. I think it's
• 1:33:05
  Speaker 1: a series.
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 2: Like Yeah, I seen a couple of them.
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is tolerable.
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, go go. I mean, you know, I go
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 2: to other cities and I listened to the native music
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 2: outside of Jersey Club. That ship is incredible. That is
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 2: an incredible genre. And I married a Jersey girl, so
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 2: she put me in the club house.
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 2: But like certain cities I go listen to music, I'm like, nah,
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 2: that ain't for me. I would do it to you,
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 2: but I'm not going to do it to cities who
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 2: got the whackist. I'm not doing that.
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 1: Who got the Give you your top three of like
• 1:33:36
  Speaker 1: cities outside of d C that I.
• 1:33:38
  Speaker 2: Love the music, you love the music. Jersey Club is fire,
• 1:33:42
  Speaker 2: Florida Bouncing Booty is flying, and Louisiana like the bounce.
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 1: Music that that that pure massogony.
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't understand what you got.
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: Bounce the whole you a bounce the whole, bounce the whole,
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: the pouncing hole. I'm not chaking a hold.
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you're going by those rules, you can't
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 2: listen to reggae at all.
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 1: That's that with a little homophobia too.
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when you start listening to reggae, like, wait a minute, I.
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 1: Found out what some of the songs actually man, I'm
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: like they meant to be headed.
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure I'm morally aligned with this music.
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 5: I don't know if I should have been listening this
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 5: is seven.
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 1: I got a good meat. I should I should have
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 1: been yelling the lyrics of this really loudly and drunk.
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 2: And you guys stick to like the Wayne Wonders and
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 2: the Shawn Shunned the Boy.
• 1:34:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah that was.
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they kept a nice s.
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 1: That was that.
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 2: That run was crazy crazy everye.
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 1: I was blasphemy. I was blasting. I was blasting. I
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 1: was blasting. I guess all right, guys, Well, once you
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 1: said all, you know, it's time to go. And at
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, the day is most assuredly
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: going to end. We think here for coming out conversations, gentlemen,
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 1: this has.
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 2: Been so fun.
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, one of the one of the best guests we've
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 1: had in a while. Thank you brother this week, last week,
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 1: last week Shadow Liz, Bad Baby, Shoty Baby Grown. Yeah, man,
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 1: we just really loved having you. Make sure you subscribe
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 1: everywhere you can subscribe, that's YouTube. Subscribe there because we
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: got the giveaways coming at every thousand tier.
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna become a mega mega mega beaten beyond belief.
• 1:35:40
  Speaker 2: Makes you think I got money?
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: You came here with. Imagine a custom of Jordan Jersey.
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 1: I've never seen that before.
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 2: The jackap bought to turn off for eBay think only
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 2: cost me about forty Yeah, you bought eBay. You still
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 2: a black man, I'm still a black.
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 5: Trying to take him out.
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 2: He was trying to buy Ebayn. I'm happening to me
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 2: like you know what you're trying to buy. Vie, come
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 2: right man.
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 1: Subscribed there. Make sure you subscribe to the Patreon, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 1: all that good stuff here. Where can they find you?
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 1: Get me more familiar with what you do all that stuff?
• 1:36:16
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Mick l. You can find me on Instagram
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 2: here games k I E R R G A I
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 2: N Yes, I'm on that. I'm on TikTok for now.
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 2: Uh I haven't accepted that that user agreement. Yeah, I
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 2: gotta gotta have the lawyers look at that. What else
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 2: am I? I'm on threads, I'm on YouTube. Come be
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 2: a part of the community.
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 5: Love to have you come on over the threads.
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 2: Man. Threads is lit right now?
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 1: Man? Really?
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 7: Yeah, there's cool.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 2: There's just like Twitter when Twitter was good.
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 1: Oh it's getting there now.
• 1:36:48
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah man.
• 1:36:49
  Speaker 8: Yeah, the algorithm is really strong. When you whatever your
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 8: interests are, is gonna.
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 2: It's gonna feed it to you. They still give you
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 2: what you're interested in, not what they tell you you
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 2: should be interested in.
• 1:36:58
  Speaker 7: Mine is all DJ.
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 2: Ship okay, like too much, but actually I need that al.
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 1: Right guys, Well that is an episode. We will see
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 1: you guys next week, same time, same place. By bye.
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 2: I like when y'all talk through.
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 7: The music, Yeah, we usually do.
• 1:37:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there'll be some gems in there if you can
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 2: make out what people saying.
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 5: That's why