Latest / Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast / Dai Henwood on living in the moment!

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Dai Henwood on living in the moment! · Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This Jentleman Ben podcast brought to you by Hello Fresh,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: the Experts and Tastes that Kiwis Love whom joins in
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: the studio. New book, The Life of Die Congratulations, a
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: beautiful book.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Hey, thanks.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: It's something I never thought I would actually do a
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: book because my job is generally standing up, talking rubbish
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: and walking away, whereas the book involves a lot of writing,
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: rewriting forever exactly. That's what stress me out because it's
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: like I wanted to get everything right and then there's
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: a point where you've just got to get it out there,
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: and then you're editing and they're like, send me a
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: word document and it's okay.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: So we've got about a thousand things you need to
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: look at, like is this ah an ann.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Or exactly I did none of it's about my life,
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: your story.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: But then obviously with you know what you've been going
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: through the last few years, it's all so about hope
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: and motivation and people can take a lot for their
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: lives out of what you've gone through.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: That's the whole thing with this book. It's got a
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  Speaker 3: lot of laughs in it, It's got my sort of
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: trajectory through comedy, and then it moves into what I've
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: been dealing with sort of an incurable cancer diagnosis over
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: the last four years. A lot of tips in there
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: how you just can deal with anxiety and depression and
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: things like that.
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  Speaker 2: So I'm super proud of it.
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  Speaker 3: Plus it's got just the weird life I've lived and
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  Speaker 3: the weird how I've ended up doing gigs. I's got
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  Speaker 3: a great story in there about my weirdest gig where
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: I show up and look at the lineup. Savage the
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  Speaker 3: rapper is myself and buzz Aldron.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: There was the lineup. It's go Grand Convention Center.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Now, your average late sixties space nerve is not a
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  Speaker 3: massive fan of New Zealan Savage and I right, we've
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: got a bit of crossover audience. And so so buzz
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  Speaker 3: Aldron goes up and yeah, so I go up and
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  Speaker 3: I just welcome people. Then buzz Aldron is the warm
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: up peck. He comes out and he's always good value,
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  Speaker 3: buzz Aldron because he Neil Armstrong got on the moon right,
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  Speaker 3: he had the one great step for man, one giant
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  Speaker 3: step for mankind.
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  Speaker 4: Buzz Aldron, it was the last person out of the spaceship.
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  Speaker 4: He gets out, shuts the door, pets his suit and
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  Speaker 4: goes I left the bloody.
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  Speaker 2: Keys, and he played a gag.
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  Speaker 5: He should have locked us, locked us.
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  Speaker 1: He should have been the line that we all remember if.
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  Speaker 2: It was just a gig. So they get buzz aldroing up.
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  Speaker 4: Buzz he's a bit of a he's a bit of
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: an interesting guy because he punched out someone in a courtroom.
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: Remember who said they didn't land on the moon.
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  Speaker 2: The moon landing was faked. He this thing. Then the
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  Speaker 2: organized gers to me. Now you go up there and
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: you go, thanks.
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: Very much, the buzz Aldron, Now can you please give
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  Speaker 4: it up?
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: So I do that Savage comes out, white towel, you know,
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  Speaker 2: live me. He you the crowd.
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  Speaker 3: The crowd is slowly like Taks a few minutes ago.
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  Speaker 3: Come the Savage. There's no one else just with.
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  Speaker 2: I reckon. People have been at a long.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: Lunch in a sort of flashed up restaurant. You're on
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: your third bottle of peanut grey, maybe seven. Maybe you
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: go buzz Aldron the seven. These fun stories in there.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: It's a very conversational read. Jackie Brown, who's just we
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  Speaker 3: were talking off here, Megan.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it and it was great that you
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: guys are still friends because you talk at the book
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: that you know. She was hosting a show Pop Goes
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: to the Weasel, and one of the gags was to
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  Speaker 1: tip mayonnaise all over you at the end. You had
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: no idea about it, like drop from the roof and
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  Speaker 1: you're allergic to eggs.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, so you glossed over quite a crucial point in
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  Speaker 3: that story. I was meant to just be wrestling a
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  Speaker 3: porn star and a paddling pol of mayonnaise. The mayonnaise
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: had nothing to do with it. It's just the peddling pool,
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  Speaker 3: which was the It was the diameter of the ring.
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  Speaker 2: Jeez, you've done some high concept stuff over there.
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  Speaker 3: Pawn stars and they were like this Pop Goes the
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  Speaker 3: Weasel music game show. If you lose this round, you
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  Speaker 3: have to wrestle a porn star in a paeddling pool.
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  Speaker 3: So I'm standing in a peddling pool just saying that,
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  Speaker 3: how can I do this?
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  Speaker 4: It's awkward?
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  Speaker 2: We do you grab them without it getting awkward?
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  Speaker 3: So then we both step into the peddling pool twenty
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  Speaker 3: leaders and mayonnaise falls out of the lighting grid and
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  Speaker 3: I'm just panicking. I'm allergic to egg I get anaphylactic shot.
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  Speaker 2: All right, start swelling a bit. Oh, you actually reacted.
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  Speaker 2: I'm just screaming. I'm allergically. You gotta tell someone when
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  Speaker 2: you drop mayonnaise. Strangely, this felt like just another day.
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  Speaker 3: I dividently had a few more issues with it, and
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  Speaker 3: then I know you've got to tell someone, because I'm like,
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  Speaker 3: I could just act it.
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  Speaker 2: And even if you.
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  Speaker 3: Know someone's going to drop twenty leaders and mayonnaise, it's
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  Speaker 3: still surprising. And so then once the furoria died down,
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  Speaker 3: I had been checked up, I hadn't swallowed in it.
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  Speaker 3: It was sort of okay. I just said a bit
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  Speaker 3: of swelling.
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  Speaker 2: On my face.
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  Speaker 3: Then we suddenly realized they went, oh, this is a
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  Speaker 3: TV studio. Those lights are really hot. And it was
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  Speaker 3: the three News studio. Oh, the pilots so Sam Hays
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  Speaker 3: and McRoberts. The whole studio stung mayonnaise for.
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  Speaker 2: Like three weeks. You boys, remember the C four days.
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  Speaker 2: Oh wold, there was no apartment, there was nothing.
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  Speaker 3: You've got an idea, you have to.
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  Speaker 2: Go to air, so we've got to do something.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, and sometimes you haven't fully thought through the repercussions
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  Speaker 3: of how my play out Honestly, I believe that's.
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  Speaker 5: How all of our TV careers started has just out
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  Speaker 5: of pure desperation for them to fill it on.
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  Speaker 3: We were pretty much delivering this tap as it was
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: going into No one was watching any of this before
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  Speaker 3: it went to air.
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  Speaker 5: Got Die in with Us, Life of Died the book
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  Speaker 5: out now, you must have.
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  Speaker 2: Fd it quite therapeutic.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, going through this whole writing process I magic.
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  Speaker 3: So ironically it was therapeutic, but it was also I
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: was doing chemotherapy at the time of writing it, and
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  Speaker 3: at the publication of the book, I'd done twenty rounds
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  Speaker 3: of chema.
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: I've done twenty six now.
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  Speaker 3: It was also sort of therapeutic yet traumatic in a
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  Speaker 3: way because I was then going through this intense six surgeries.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: It's had six major surgeries and all this chemo and radiation,
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  Speaker 3: so I sort of going through that and piecing it together.
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  Speaker 3: But then it was actually sort of a testament to
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  Speaker 3: how much a human can go through. And also, I'm
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: a very positive person, and my sort of motto through
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  Speaker 3: this and my motto for life, is that optimism won't
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  Speaker 3: cure me, but pessimism will kill me. You got to
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  Speaker 3: keep I've got to just get out there and live life.
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  Speaker 2: And it's about just remembering you've got to love.
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  Speaker 3: You've got to love yourself, you've got to love your friends,
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  Speaker 3: and you've got to just live today.
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  Speaker 4: I'm living with cancer and not enough.
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  Speaker 3: People people who aren't touched with something that maybe makes
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  Speaker 3: them aware on the clock, like actually have a finite time,
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  Speaker 3: which we all do. A lot of people aren't living
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  Speaker 3: and I'm like, I can pack so much life.
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  Speaker 2: In not today. I'm not doing treatment, talking with mates
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  Speaker 2: at moment.
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  Speaker 3: And that's the thing is, like you're on Instagram, you
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  Speaker 3: see a lot of people living in the moment with
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: Lululemon leggings promoting a portable glender.
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  Speaker 2: You know, I'm just living in the moment.
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  Speaker 3: But it's actually so hard to do that whole idea
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  Speaker 3: of mindfulness being present is really hard to do. So
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  Speaker 3: now I'm far more conscious of Okay, I'm going out
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  Speaker 3: to play mini girlf with my daughter.
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  Speaker 2: Just put the phone in the cat.
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  Speaker 1: You got a putter in your in your in your
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: front yard or backyard as well. Yeah, and that sort
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  Speaker 1: of gives you a moment to stop and reflect as well.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm I'm sort of when I was younger, I
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  Speaker 3: was over in Japan and I my dad was touring
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  Speaker 3: a theater show and one of the actors was a
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  Speaker 3: Buddhist and she took me to a monastery and I
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: learned fools in Buddhism and Zazen meditation.
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  Speaker 2: Then I got on the puss.
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  Speaker 6: For a bit, and then strangely enough, just as I said,
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  Speaker 6: I sort of got sober just before.
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  Speaker 3: My diagnosis, and then when I had my diagnosis, I
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  Speaker 3: could fall back on this foundation of meditation I had
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  Speaker 3: in that and that's been so amazing for keeping my
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  Speaker 3: head straight.
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  Speaker 2: Because the thing is, if I'm worrying about my next.
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  Speaker 3: Chemo, which I'd probably have to do some radiation and
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: chemo in the near future, if I'm worrying about that
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  Speaker 3: now it's ruining today, I'll.
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  Speaker 2: Have plenty of time to freak out about it when I'm.
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  Speaker 4: Driving there, you know, like, don't worry twice.
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  Speaker 5: What a great way to approach it because you you
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: obviously went through it, but just personally for I think
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  Speaker 5: it was one to two years when you before you
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  Speaker 5: were went public with it. So a lot of people
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  Speaker 5: go through cancer, but then having to go through it
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  Speaker 5: on such a public platform, I imagine a huge outpouring
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  Speaker 5: of support.
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  Speaker 2: How do you handle that? It helped being public.
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  Speaker 3: I was worried about how it was going to happen
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  Speaker 3: because I've been private and people were just coming up
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  Speaker 3: to me the street or after gigs, coming up real
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  Speaker 3: hard out.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: But and then I was had all the sadness and
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  Speaker 3: trauma was going on.
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  Speaker 2: I was just bottling it up.
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  Speaker 3: And now people just come up with so much empathy
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  Speaker 3: and so granted a lot of people get.
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  Speaker 4: The wrong end of the stick sometimes.
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  Speaker 3: I've done this interview with Jackie Brown where I came
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  Speaker 3: out publicly.
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  Speaker 4: And went out.
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  Speaker 3: Was it an hour on YouTube? It was a little
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  Speaker 3: segment on the project. The next day, this guy comes
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  Speaker 3: up to in my KFA went mate. The interview just
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  Speaker 3: really touched me.
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  Speaker 4: I mean, I'm so sorry to hear about your aide.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: When I watched the whole thing, you really got the
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: wrong end of the stick.
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: The thing was he was honestly kind and got me thinking,
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: what else in your life are you just kidding? Urenssly wrong.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: About the bog as before. It's great for you what
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: you can do, yeah, supporting people, you know, things like
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  Speaker 1: you I thought was really good and you're like just
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: do something. Don't ask them questions. You go through something,
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: don't bring them around a me or take their kids
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: out or things like that without asking them giving them
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: another question.
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  Speaker 3: Definitely make sure you know the kids. That's the thing
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  Speaker 3: that is because when people are going through something massive,
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: especially on the health front, so much of it is
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: decision fatigue. But if you just go, look, I just
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: put fifty bucks, here's a fifty buck or you know,
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: he's for me. I was given some amazing like linen
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: sort of sleep pants, and they have been they went
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: through all my hospital trips for me. They're so comfortable.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: It's that thing of I wouldn't have thought to get
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: them for myself. And it was just a little bright spark.
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  Speaker 3: And we've got mates who are very close with my kids,
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: and that thing of take you out to the Blues
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: game or something like that, and it's just then the
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: kids are having a great time, you know, because even
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: though we've been very honest with our children, there's still
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: you know, they can feel attention or the worry yes
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: the house, so no, just get just jump in. And
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: also you can't do anything wrong. It's a bit like
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: when you're trying to speak a language you can't speak.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: If you're making the effort. Honestly, people appreciate that. It
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: doesn't matter if you make mistakes. And if someone out
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: there is dealing with something bigger and you just when
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: you're having a coffee of them, hey do you want
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: to chat about it or not? And you know, just
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: go sometimes just sick of talking about it.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Let's just because you wonder that. And I've got up
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: with you and we did the warriores. You know, do
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: you bring it up or do you just go, hey,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: we're here for the warriors. You probably don't want to
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: talk about it. That's still about the Warriors. We watched
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: twenty to thirty hours a week of league.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: I read the box quite.
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  Speaker 3: And I would time at odd time my surgeries with
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: the league round. So like I'd always get a surgery
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: on a Thursday, and it would usually I come to
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: about nine pm and then I'm watching on my iPad.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: I came out of my liver surgery and because I
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: don't tolerate opioids very well, they give me Kiddymine instead,
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: so they gave me Kiddine which is quite full, and
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: I'm watching and I'm watching my iPad with the and
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: the Warriors are playing in three D, and I was like.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: To the nurse, check this out. This game is amz.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: So I did have the.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: Joy of watching probably the most amazing game and rugby
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: in my life. And then because there's like eight games
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: in a weekend, then I'd be in hospital and I
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: would have something.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: To look forward to.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: Although when I'd had a lung surgery and they're really
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: monitoring your vitals, they wouldn't allow me to work the
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: Warriors because they said I was in the it's like
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: lung and heart area and they said, oh, it's just
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: people have had heart hard issues in they put the
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: Warriors on and that's they're sitting there, sitting in the
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: nurses bay and everyone's heart monitors.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, dying with wonderful human being.
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: Now the life of diets and must read really really
• 14:40
  Speaker 5: good book and all good bookstores. Now we appreciate your time, mate.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: Oh it's lovely to be in here. Awesome to see
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: it