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The weird texting habits of narcissists and other toxic people · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So how do narcissistic or toxic people text?
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  How do they communicate via text or e-mail?
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  You know, we're the texting habits of narcissistic people.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  OK, welcome back folks. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Hope y'all like the new intro.
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  Just to look, look, the intro is just a tester, just a test
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  intro. I appreciate y'all being here
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  though. Y'all but seriously, so how do
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  narcissistic people talk to people?
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  Text message? Y'all.
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  We're texting habits of narcissistic people.
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  So this video is inspired by a video I saw the thumbnail for a
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  video from. I think his name is Dinesh.
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  He goes by the narc survivor. I think it's narc survivor.
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  Narc narc abuse, Narc abuse coach.
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  That's what his name is. I didn't watch his video, I just
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  saw the thumbnail. I was just like okay.
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  Let me do a video from the perspective of narcissist or how
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  narcissistic people text. Because I I'm a narcissist.
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  I know how I text. I know how I respond.
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  And just let me preface this by saying just because you text or
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  respond this way doesn't mean that you're a narcissist.
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  Y'all might be a little toxic, little little little dash, a
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  little salt Bay of toxicity, but it doesn't mean that you're a
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  narcissist. So narcissist, the people y'all
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  a lot of a lot of narcissist. Don't read long messages that
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  have a condescending tone to them that have they have the the
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  the slight aura or slight whiff of accountability,
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  accountability, the whiff of accountability mixed into it,
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  you know, So that's why I tell people like I'm talking to
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  people, I'm doing my one on ones, I resume, I do my group
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  coaching sessions and whatnot. I tell people I say hey look,
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  don't bother sending them a long winded text message, especially
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  when y'all are arguing and fussing and fighting because
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  they're not going to read it. They're they're going to gauge
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  the tone of it, the first and last.
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  This is how I gauge the tone of stuff.
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  If somebody want to see me and me and somebody are arguing and
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  they send me a long winded message, I'm going like I'm
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  going to look at the first sentence and the last sentence
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  to gauge the tone and determine whether or not I want to
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  actually read, you know, whether or not this text message is
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  worth reading because I'm not. I'm not trying to get held
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  accountable. I know what I did wrong.
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  I don't need you to rub it in. I don't need to hear about it
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  again in long winded form. If I got to scroll the screen to
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  get to the bottom of the message, I don't want, I don't
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  want to do that. Especially if we're arguing and
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  fussing and fighting or we or we are both not communicating well
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  or I'm just ignoring you and you know that I'm ignoring you.
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  I'm not going to respond to it anyway because that gives me the
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  power. You message me, right?
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  You message me. So I have the power now.
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  I know I don't have to message you back.
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  I don't have to message you back now because you message me.
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  You still obviously care because you sent this message.
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  I don't care if the message is a breakup text message or whatever
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  it is or a text message. You say you wanted to.
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  Divorce is long winded. I'm not going to read it.
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  I'm not going to respond to it, especially because I know the
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  tone is bad. If I read the first sentence and
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  it's a welcoming sentence, like I love you so much, I might read
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  that for some supply. I might read them.
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  They'll read a long message. If it has a good tone to it, you
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  may. If it has a good, a good aura to
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  it, they'll read a long message then.
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  But it depends on the mood. Y'all they might just tell if
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  you're going to text the narcissist and you're if you're
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  in a bad mood, start it off with something, something, something
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  endearing. Don't start it off with like,
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  hey, First off, don't start it off with.
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  Go Google the song If you don't know who Tupac Shakur is, go
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  Google 2 box record Google. Google the song.
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  Hit them up. Don't start a message, a text
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  message off with the first line from hit them up If you don't
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  know, hit them upset. That's why I beep you.
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  Beep beep, It's a bunch of cuss message.
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  Cuss words, you know, hit them up.
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  But yeah, started off with the tone, A good tone, like
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  something, something endearing, something that's going to make
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  them smile as opposed to make them frown because they're not
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  going to read it. Y'all.
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  They're not going to read very rarely.
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  When they read the entire message and get the point that
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  you're trying to communicate to them, you know, very rarely
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  they're going to do that, you know?
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  And if they do read it, the next, the next type of stuff
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  that they'll do. If they do read a long message,
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  or they do respond to you from any message that you sent,
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  they'll just send a short, short, dismissive response.
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  One word. Response K You might send
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  something pouring your heart out to them, like just you're hurt,
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  you're wanting to make it work, You just want an apology.
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  You're willing to do whatever it takes.
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  And they just send one letter K OK, an an emoji.
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  Thumbs up. Or you mean just an exclamation
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  point or something like that. Or they might just if you had an
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  iPhone. I don't know if they do this on
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  droids now, but if you have an iPhone, they just like the they
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  just like the message. They won't even respond to it.
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  Y'all short responses. Or the emoji being dismissive,
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  invalidating what you had sent. Like you took the time, effort
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  and energy to send this long winded message or e-mail and
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  they just responded with an emoji, you know?
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  Or just by liking it or not responding it at all.
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  Like I said, they go through, they skim it, I skim message, I
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  skim it for mean stuff. Like I I skim it for the tone.
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  You know, the tone matters when you're talking to narcissistic
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  people, so understanding how to send a message to them can help
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  you out. Y'all just like I said, don't
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  start it off with the anger. You got to send a message with
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  some UMF. Don't start it off with anger
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  because they're not going to read it.
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  Yeah, I promise you. They're going to just going to
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  dismiss it, send it off. Like, look, I care about you so
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  much. Then get them, you know, man,
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  don't bait them in and then bait them in.
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  Reel them in with the I care about you so much and then then
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  beat them up later on in the message.
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  Yeah, they'll send the short dismissive responses.
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  So you to make you feel to invalidate you and whatnot.
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  Yeah. Yeah.
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  But the thing about the the thing about the crazy, not crazy
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  nurse, the thing about narcissists, the people.
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  There's y'all the next text message habit.
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  It's going to be like they don't want to read long messages, but
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  I'll be damned if they won't send them.
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  If a narcissist has something on their mind, a toxic person has
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  something on their mind, they're going to send you a long they
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  they they they will send you a long winded message and they
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  expect you to read every sentence you know they expect
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  you to read every sentence. Now, a narcissist, if they read
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  a long, if they do read a long message, they'll skim it and
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  only respond to one part of it. They expect you to respond to
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  every single part of the messages that they that they
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  send to you, every single part of the e-mail that they'll send
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  to you. Like they'll skim it and give
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  you one word responses or just respond to 1 little part of it.
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  OK, I'll see you. I'll see you at 7.
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  They'll ignore everything else. OK, I'll pick my son up at six.
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  They'll ignore everything else. They'll respond to that one part
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  of what you wish, what you typically should do if you
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  respond to a narcissist. But like, they expect you to
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  respond to every single piece of it.
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  Like they expect a they expect you to write a damn dissertation
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  of how they are feeling or how they're going about things.
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  They expect that from you right there.
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  You know they expect it from you right there.
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  And just in that space and even in the dynamic they expect you
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  to do that. They expect it to come from you.
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  They expect that from you. They expect you to break it
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  down. Even though, like I said, even
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  though they won't respond to you, they absolutely expect you
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  to respond to them, like in in dissertation form belong.
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  They want something from you, you know what I mean?
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  But a narcissistic person, like I said, if they send you a short
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  message or if they send you a long message or you send them
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  one, they'll give you a short response.
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  You know, they'll pick one piece of it and respond to that one
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  piece. As opposed to give you
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  responding in like said to everything to the most important
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  part. They will respond to trigger
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  words and messages. Like they will respond to
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  something that they they, they, they don't agree with in the
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  message or they'll read through the whole message and you might
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  be making a lot of points, but something that they don't agree
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  with and something that they feel like it's misstated,
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  they'll respond to that. You mean like if you say
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  something like 7, seven days a week, you treat me horribly.
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  They're like no, seven. I only see you five days a week.
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  So that's why there is a lie. You see, I only, I'm only around
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  you five days a week. So you line right there, you
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  look at you missing, look at you misrepresenting time.
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  They'll focus on something that they feel like is not true or
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  they try to end up playing the victim in that circumstance
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  right there. Yeah, that's what happens right
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  there, you know, But narcissistic people right here,
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  y'all if you now, if you are holding them accountable and
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  you, the power lies in your hand.
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  Like if they're if they have done something to you and you're
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  done with them, right? They'll continue to blow your
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  phone up. They'll message you.
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  They'll e-mail you. They'll just They'll try to
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  overwhelm you to respond to them.
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  They'll be begging and pleading for you to respond to them,
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  right? But here's the kicker.
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  They'll beg. And please, please respond to
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  me. I miss you.
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  I'm sorry I made a mistake. I won't do it again, I promise
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  you. I promise I won't do it again.
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  Please respond. And then when?
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  If you finally respond to them, when or if you you finally
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  respond to them. If you respond to them.
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  Some of them will. Some of them will go dark on
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  you. That's crazy, isn't it?
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  When you respond to these long winded messages, sometimes they
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  will go dark on you like you respond.
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  You'll find a respond. They'll be begging you to talk
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  to them and then you'll talk to them and then they'll then
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  they'll stop responding to you. That means that the power has
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  shifted from you to them. Now they are in control.
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  Now they are in the driver's seat right there.
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  Now they control the the communication.
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  And that's why I tell people just like if you are no contact,
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  stay, no contact. Y'all, if possible, because once
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  you respond to them, the power goes to them.
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  Yes, the power goes to them. I know it sounds just so
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  rudimentary, but like, the power absolutely goes to them, You
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  know, that's what that's where it gets to, right there.
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  Like the power goes to them. Like they'll beg you to respond.
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  And once you respond, they feel like, OK, I got them now, I got
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  them now. Now they're still interested in
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  me. Now I don't have to respond.
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  They they now I finally cracked through their no contact shield.
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  I'm inside of their shield. I'm inside of their bubble now.
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  I don't have to respond to them or I can take my time to respond
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  to you. You see, that's why I was saying
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  if you get, you are no contact, stay no contact because it helps
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  you heal, it helps you stay in power, it helps you stay in
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  control. You know, because they'll beg.
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  They'll. I'm saying that they'll beg and
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  beg and beg and please you to respond to break, no contact to
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  contact them because they're hurting.
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  They're screaming. They'll take you know, they'll
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  get their friends and family members to text you.
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  They'll do a lot of weird things.
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  Text message, e-mail, wise out to get you to break.
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  No contact. And then once you do, they might
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  go dark on you because now the power lies in their hands, you
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  know? And now you might.
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  Now you might be double texting them, trying to get them to
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  respond. Now they begged you to respond.
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  Now you did. Now they're going darker.
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  You. Now you're double texting them.
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  So I I thought you wanted to talk.
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  Now you ignoring me. Wow, I see how it is.
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  Now they got you. It's a game narcissist.
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  Like it's like playing slimmer. The old Nokia phones that might
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  be too young for this, the old Nokia phones, The only thing you
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  could do on it was make calls and send a message and play
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  snake. That's what it is right there.
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  They playing snake with you. You know man, they're playing
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  snake eating little dots up. The snakes are getting, the
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  snake is getting longer, you know, it's just that there's
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  space right there. But you know you have to empower
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  yourself. Y'all like don't fall into the
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  trap of getting these text message conversations because
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  like they'll have you angry as hell through text messages.
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  Y'all they'll be texting you around your friends and family
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  trying to like dog. They use their text messages to
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  dog whistle you as well. Y'all they'll send you.
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  They'll try to trigger you through text messages while
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  you're around your friends and family.
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  Because it's not verbal communication.
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  We're not verbally communicating.
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  I'll send a a little. I'll send something that makes
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  you angry. And then I'll just sit back and
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  wait. I'll just sit back and chill,
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  you know? I'll sit back and chill now
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  because you're angry, because you're upset, because I got you.
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  Now you know what I mean? That's how it goes right there.
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  Now you're angry, now you're upset, now you're hurting.
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  But now I win because like now you're reacting in front of
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  people. That's how narcissistic people
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  can use their text messages to dog whistle or trigger you, you
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  know, covertly trigger you in order to get a reaction from you
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  in front of people. So be very wary of that as well
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  because they'll do things like that.
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  They'll use their phones or the text messages to covertly
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  trigger you in front of people to make you look crazy to get a
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  reaction from you. You know, that happens.
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  So be very wary when you're texting narcissistic people,
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  especially when you're in the mood and you are the public or
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  not even in public, you be at home.
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  They can do it, you know, that's weird.
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  They'll give you the silent treatment, but they'll send you
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  a text message which sets you off.
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  They'll give you a silent treatment.
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  And they like I said, they I'm just they use text messages
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  like, you know, but this is true for most people though they they
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  most people will text what they don't say.
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  You know texting is just an informal form of communication
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  that they can use to text you and not and not necessarily say
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  that they can communicate with you.
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  Meanwhile, they all tune into that episode.
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  I truly appreciate every single one of y'all.
• 13:16
  Make sure y'all check out my kids book and whatnot on Amazon.
• 13:19
  Stay tuned for more like and subscribe until this is out
• 13:21
  Peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness rock
• 13:26
  star and I appreciate you for being here.
• 13:28
  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
• 13:30
  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 13:33
  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 13:35
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• 13:37
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon, so check that
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  out. Thank you.
• 13:42
  I will see you in the next video.
• 13:43
  Peace.