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What can you learn from a narcissists silent treatment? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what are some things that you can actually learn from the
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  narcissist silent treatment? Lee, what the hell are you
• 0:10
  talking about? There's nothing you can learn
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  from the silent treatment. The silent treatment is complete
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  silence. There's no talking.
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  There's no communication. Shut up, Lee.
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  You don't know what you're talking about.
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  There's nothing that you can learn.
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  Or is there? That's what we're talking about
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  today. Y'all things that you can learn
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  from the silent treatment. Positive things, positive spin
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  on it, right? If you're new here, my name is
• 0:33
  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of the Narcissist Code. Let's get it.
• 0:57
  Oh, oh, hi. I didn't see you there.
• 1:01
  No seriously, welcome back y'all.
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  The silent treatment from a narcissist.
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  I think everybody knows what the silent treatment is.
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  It's complete silence. It's the narcissist or toxic
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  person or whoever it is in your life just complete completely
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  paying you no mind, ignoring the hell out of you, pretending that
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  you don't exist like now. Sometimes the silent treatment
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  can be like a game of like it really is overall silence.
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  Overall like silence of them. There's Silence of the Lambs,
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  except instead of lambs bang like the Lambs, the Lambs back.
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  It's cheap. Instead of the Lambs, you get
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  silent. Narcissist.
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  They ignore you. They pretend you don't exist.
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  They don't communicate with you. They refuse to talk to you.
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  They talk to everybody else except for you, Right?
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  Hey, how you doing? How you doing?
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  How you doing? How you doing, How you doing?
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  How you doing? They ignore you.
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  They pretend you don't exist. They do things like that to
• 1:59
  aggravate you and to upset your soul.
• 2:03
  But we're talking about today is not letting them do that
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  positive things, a positive, positive spin that you can put
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  on the silent treatment. Things that you can absolutely
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  learn because I know there's some people out there like Lee.
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  There's nothing you can learn from the silent treatment
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  because it's complete silence. There's no talking, there's no
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  communication. That's the point.
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  There's no talking, there's no communication.
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  One thing, one of the main things that you can learn from a
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  solid treatment from a narcissist is how to live
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  without them. Yo, come on now, come come
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  through now. Give me a give me a, a snap like
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  we we in a poetry slam club right now.
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  Give me a slap. Give me a snap because you can.
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  It's like instead of just viewing it as them being silent
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  to you and punishing you, you can view the solid treatment as
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  them proving to you that you can live without them.
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  You don't need them to survive. You don't need them to go
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  forward. You don't need them for
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  anything. Of course, everybody's situation
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  is going to be different, right? When I say anything, I know
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  everybody's situation is different.
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  Lee, I'm a stay at home parent. What do I do?
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  I do, I do need them for this. It's about making a plan in the
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  in these situations right here, they're teaching you that you
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  can live without their communication like that, their
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  words. So I'll do this.
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  Yeah, I'm going to do this video that their words don't mean
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  shit. Their words don't have any power
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  of you. Because guess what?
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  I know that I know a lot of narcissists and toxic people can
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  use their words to hurt your feelings.
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  But the fact that they are trying not to use their words to
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  hurt your feelings proves that their words are meaningless.
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  Their words carry no power towards you when they're trying
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  to attack you. You don't need their words to
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  survive. Stop treating their fucking
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  words like oxygen, like you can't breathe without them
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  talking to you. Yes, you can.
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  Yes you can. You can still talk to them.
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  They're teaching you that you can live without them.
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  They're teaching you that you can communicate without them.
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  Like if there's something that you have to share with them that
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  it that you have to say, say it to them.
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  Just because they don't respond because they're being a little
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  childish ass bastard doesn't mean that you can't say what you
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  need to say to them. Say it.
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  Hey, the kids have a game today at 5:00.
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  I was just letting you know. If they punk asses don't show
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  up, then that's on them. At least you told them.
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  You didn't tell me about the you didn't tell me about the
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  basketball game. You didn't mention it to me.
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  That's why I didn't show up. It's the hell I did.
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  Shut up. You don't have to tell them to
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  shut up, y'all. I know some of some of them are
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  dangerous. Some of them can and absolutely
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  will be dangerous. Let's let's keep it Copa static.
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  We got to keep it. We can learn to be safe.
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  You got to learn to be safe, right?
• 5:00
  But that's true. That's the the truth of the
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  matter is right. That's the truth in it.
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  You have to learn how to be safe when you're dealing with toxic,
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  narcissistic, abusive ass people because that's what they do.
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  Like I tell you, I say this to people all the time.
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  They're like narcissists. They don't really have any
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  power. They pretend to, they act like
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  they do, They make you think that they do, but they actually
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  don't have any power over you. You know, their words don't have
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  any, don't carry any weight. So what the narcissist silent
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  treatment is teaching you that not only can you live without
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  them, it teaches you that you don't need that like you say.
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  It teaches you that you had a life before and you will have a
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  life after them. Now this is not me telling you
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  that you have to leave. Leave the relationship to have a
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  life after them. I know it's saying seems like
• 5:47
  this person is gone, but I say when I say after them.
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  It can be after you wake up and realize what you're going
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  through, after your awakening, after you understand that this
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  person is a toxic, narcissistic bastard, after after that has
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  transpired. Now you have a point to go
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  forward with. Right?
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  Now you understand how to deal with this person.
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  Now you understand how how you need to move forward with this
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  person or against this person, right?
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  That's the truth of the matter. So as you're moving forward,
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  understand that there's things that you can learn in the
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  silence. Willie, I know I can live
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  without them. What else can I learn from the
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  silent treatment? Well I'm glad you asked because
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  the solid treatment can also teach you well.
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  You can also learn doing a solid treatment who you are.
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  Like this is the crazy thing about this job.
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  The solid treatment can help you learn who you are.
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  Y'all been following me for any amount of time?
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  Y'all know that the first thing to go in a toxic relationship a
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  lot of the time is your identity.
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  You absolutely lose who you are. You lose like what you like to
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  do. You lose the things that you
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  thought you liked to do. You lose a lot of things when
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  you get into a toxic relationship, right?
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  You don't know what you like to do, who you are, where you came
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  from, what makes you happy. You don't know any of this
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  stuff. So doing it, when they give you
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  the assignment, you can go learn it.
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  You can go, you can absolutely step outside and go learn all of
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  this stuff that they tried to hold you back from because
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  they're trying, because you, I don't know who I am without
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  them. Now it's time to learn who you
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  are without them. Now is the perfect time to
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  understand that you can't live without them and you get to
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  learn who you are, which can be scary.
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  I understand that learning who you are without this person can
• 7:44
  be a very daunting task. It can be scary as hell, right?
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  It can be absolutely petrifying to try to learn who you are
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  without this person. It can be.
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  Let's keep it real. Let's keep it 100% hot.
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  Let's keep it real as real as we can keep it.
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  It's absolutely can be an absolute daunting task for you
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  to understand who you are dealing with without this
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  person. It can be like, I don't know who
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  I am, Lee. This is what I'm doing my one on
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  ones or resume. When I'm doing my one on ones, I
• 8:16
  resume. Y'all can find all my one on
• 8:18
  ones, my coaching, my courses, everything about me is right
• 8:22
  here. Mental illness.net everything,
• 8:26
  all of it is here, right? But what I'm doing my one on
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  ones I resume what I I typically ask a people, what do you like
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  to do for yourself? What have you or what have you
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  done for yourself lately? And people will look at me like
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  this. They don't know you don't know
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  you don't know who you are, you don't know what you like to do
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  because you got lost in this relationship, which again, it's
• 8:57
  understandable. It's understandable to get lost
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  in love, but you don't want to stay lost.
• 9:03
  This shit. When you say lost, you never get
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  found, right? You never get you you when you
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  stay lost, you never get found. That sound like a hide and seek
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  game, right? Like the point of hide and seek
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  is the to be sought to get seeked.
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  It's crazy. You want to you want to be hide
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  and sought. You're right, you want to be
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  seeked, but that's part of it, right?
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  That's part of how you deal with it's part of who you are.
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  So that's part of understanding what you got to go to or going
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  to go through as well. Healing takes time.
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  Understanding what you went through takes time.
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  So you get to understand who you are now, y'all.
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  You get to learn the fun, the excitement, the exhilaration of
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  who you are. Now I get out y'all, I get hype
• 9:57
  for you. Well, Lee, why you get hype for
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  us? Because I know that you get to
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  be happy because you give your when you learn what you learn
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  doing the solid treatment is you do not have to depend on anybody
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  else for your happiness. What's that for?
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  I'll be losing count. You get to learn that you don't
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  have to depend on somebody else to make you happy because when
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  they're being silent, you can read, you can write, you can go
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  out, you can do whatever you want to do.
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  Well, Lee, they tell me I can't do it.
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  How the hell are they telling you can't do anything and
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  they're not talking to you? The silent treatment can teach
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  you how to survive without this person.
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  I'm not saying it like ask yourself this question right
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  here, y'all, And it's important. I'm going to do a whole video on
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  this. Matter of fact, I just inspire
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  the next video. If the narcissist disappeared,
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  what happens? Y'all I'm in Saint Louis right
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  now and it's lightning. It's Thunder lighting.
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  You're probably about to hear a Thunder clap the the the sky
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  twerking. Y'all about to hear a clap.
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  You all hear a clapping sound. The sky is twerking.
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  But seriously, what happens if they disappear?
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  I'm doing this. This is going to be my next
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  video. If you watch this video and it
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  it was, this will be on Saturday.
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  You watch this video on Saturday and you come back Sunday.
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  Sunday video is going to be entitled.
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  What happens if the narcissist disappears?
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  Because that's important because it's just like they get they're
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  giving a silent treatment anyway.
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  What happens if they vanish out of your life?
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  The solid treatment does not have to be a negative thing.
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  The solid treatment see can can also can teach you that this
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  person doesn't value enough to to doesn't value or value you
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  enough to talk to you. But it it can also say this
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  person can't communicate anyway that they're being a childish
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  ass bastard and not talking to me.
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  This person refuses to communicate anyway.
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  They they, they lack communication skills, so they're
• 11:59
  not talking to me. This is the result of it right
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  here y'all, what can you learn? This is the this is your
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  homework for today. What can you learn from the
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  silent treatment? The things that you can learn
• 12:10
  from the silent treatment. This is my link right here
• 12:15
  courses.mentalillness.net for my new courses, my new like my new
• 12:19
  courses, my support group, everything.
• 12:22
  I have a new course called finding your why.
• 12:24
  If you made it this far and you want to take my course 40 videos
• 12:27
  long about healing from a narcissistic relationship, you
• 12:31
  can enter the enter the code YWHY 25?
• 12:36
  WHY 25 for a $25 discount. Y'all on my new course Finding
• 12:41
  your Y? Hit that subscribe button and
• 12:44
  we'll talk later. Peace.
• 12:46
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 12:48
  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea?
• 12:51
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 12:53
  to the channel. Help us reach more people and
• 12:55
  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse
• 12:57
  through another playlist. There's also a link on the
• 12:59
  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 13:01
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 13:03
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 13:05
  video. Peace.